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More fighting about THE COOKBOOK. Oh, then we’re on to the meatball contest. There was a meatball contest? Did I miss it? That sounds like fun. Brown Smurf says that by including Caro in THE COOKBOOK, Ter thought she was doing Caro a favor. I mean, did we all forget about the beautiful picture of them? The men ultimately decide to stay out of it and let the chickens figure it out for themselves.
And then it’s time for Lauren Manzo to get involved. Well, this should be totally preachy. “The 1/16 Italian thing was made up,” she tells Ter. Did Ter call the Manzos 1/16 Italian? Lauren commands her to explain it. “It’s funny!” explains Ter.
Caro explains it by Ter just looking down on everyone with her fresh-of-the-boat mentality. So fresh off the boat is high and mighty? Someone go inform the people in rags at Ellis Island that they can stop right there, they’ve already achieved the American dream.
Caro continues to babble about how she’s an American citizen and she doesn’t live like that. Live like what? Lauren tries to explain that…actually, I’m not really sure where she’s going with this. But she says that she’s there sticking up for her Mom. Then we’re back to the tabloids, and Lauren is accusing Ter of saying that she never even looks at them. Ter says that she only does to see if they quoted her correctly, which Caro pounces on like the holy grail. “That proves that you sell stories!” she decries.
Duh already. I mean, duh.
Ter doesn’t get what the big deal is. Caro thinks it’s insane. Ter says she has more class than Caro. She says she can prove to Caro that she only has good intentions, or didn’t sell stories, or something, and she swears on her kids. Caro tells her not to swear on her kids.
And then Ter grabs Kat’s face for some reason. To prove that she’s telling the truth. That’s all she keeps yelling, that she’s telling the truth. I’m not even sure about what anymore. Kat keeps telling her not to grab her face. Then she tells us she’s never been grabbed by the face like that before, which given how 90% of the time she’s bragging about her freaky sex life with Lebanese Dilbert, I find a little hard to believe.
And now, it’s a new fight about Ter putting her hands on Ter. Kat is upset, and Ter’s trying to prove that she didn’t do anything wrong. Of course she does this by repeatedly grabbing Kat’s face to show how non-face-grabby it was. Then it’s Kat’s turn to break out the cell phone research. This time it’s an article where they’re all quoted as telling Ter she spends too much money.
Ter says that Lebanese Dilbert did say that to her. “Well, it was a joke!” says Kat. “See, it was a joke!” Caro cries triumphantly from the sofa of doom. Well, it’s not really a point unless you stop being mad at her for her alleged joke, so I’m not so sure what Caro’s so excited about.