Error: Twitter did not respond. Please wait a few minutes and refresh this page.
Caro determines that he resents her for it and he will pay the “ultimate price” for being married to Teresa. If “someone has to go somewhere”, Caro continues, Ter will have to “pull herself up by her bootstraps” and take care of her family. I’m sorry, what do you think she’s doing now? She’s even chauffeuring his ass around town!
But I’m just staying out of it.
Then she predicts that “there’s a book there somewhere. You heard it here first.” Wow, this is one intuitive lady. No one could have seen this book coming. Or the fact that it will be called Going Away Italian.
The minions who are high on drugs first tell Brown Smurf what a great husband and father he is, then repeat this lie to Ter who confirms that her alcoholic, unemployed husband who can’t drive is “a keeper”.
And we’re in the car with Jacquee and Lauren. They start off talking about the RV trip, but Lauren isn’t interested. Not when there’s matters of the Lauren Manzo makeup empire at hand. Jacquee has some kind of connection with a makeup line, and they’re going to take a meeting.
Caro is fine to let Jacquee handle the makeup end of things, to “mentor” Lauren. They enter the restaurant where their meeting is being held. Jacquee informs us that the shirt she’s wearing makes her look chubby , which was a smart choice for TV.
They sit down with a gay guy and lady with some serious Jersey hair and a shirt that she found in the parking lot after a Bon Jovi concert back in ’87.
Livin’ on a very old, very ate up prayer.
Jacquee immediately starts throwing around makeup and chemical words that she freely admits she has no idea what they mean, but hey why should that stop her? Lauren, her disciple, tells us that Jacquee’s problem is that she has “too much” information in her brain. Yes. That is the problem. Jacquee is just too fucking smart.
Jacquee reads all the time, Lauren prattles on. Interesting, I didn’t know you could read coloring books. Coincidentally, Lauren tells us, that’s her own biggest problem. She never reads.
You look like you let Milania do your makeup and you think your biggest problem is not reading?
Oh, Jacquee reads cosmetic boxes. Someone get MENSA in on this immediately. But what Jacquee the expert really loves about this makeup line is that the makeup comes in stacks. Really, is MENSA on the line yet? We’ve got a live one here.
The waiter comes around to take their order and Jacquee orders a Screaming Orgasm. I don’t know what that is, or when would possibly be the appropriate time to drink it. I’m guessing it’s pretty specific to bachelorette parties in Cabo, but apparently, it’s Jacquee’s gin & tonic.