Jacquee says that Ter only likes Linda because she’s a “soldier” and always backs Ter. I think Ter said that too, so no big deal but of course Jacquee brags that it’s because her Dad was a Colonel that she was able to figure this mystery out. Let me guess – now you’re gonna tell us there’s a book in there somewhere and we heard it here first. Then you’ll let us in on the secret that the sky is blue.
Linda the solider waste no time interrogating and insulting Kat. Linda wants to know if they’re family recipes, or if Kat invented them herself. Then she decides that Kat’s desserts are all too fattening. Kat makes a stupid joke about how skinny girls are in bad moods cause they’re just in need of cupcakes. Well, yeah. Everyone knows fat people are jolly.
Jacquee corners Linda to share her sob story about how much she misses Teresa. Linda advises her to go talk to her. “She’s going through a lot,” reports Linda. “She told me she’s not,” snaps Jacquee in return.
Lebanese Dilbert makes his way through the crowd with some Italian guy he pulled off car wash duty to pretend to be the fake CEO of an Italian dessert company. He tells Kat he definitely wants to go into business with her, at the side of the parking lot of the gelateria. Next to a cemetery. I don’t really get the connection between a cemetery and a cannoli, but Kat says it makes sense because her desserts are to die for.
And then it’s time for the meeting of Jacquee and Ter. At first, Jacquee is all cold air but then Ter thanks her for inviting them to Napa with them. Jacquee makes some snide comment about the last time they saw each other, but Ter reminds her that since their husbands both love wine, and hey, they both love wine too, they should just forget about everything else.
She throws Bellinis into the conversation, and Jacquee takes the bait like the dumbest fish in the ocean. “When are those going to be ready?” she asks Ter fake excitedly, followed by fake laughter. Ter BS’s her about the Bellinis for a minute, and then launches into a speech about how she knows that Caro is Jacquee’s sister-in-law, but she needs to be her own person.
Caro stands by saying how worried she is for Jacquee against Teresa. But Ter just keeps talking about what a great time they’re going to have on the RV trip and Jacquee seems just fine with that. “I’m confused but happy at the same time,” she twitters.
I had Kathy slip her some Xanax in a cannoli.
My cannoli tastes like Xanax. Look what Teresa’s driven Kathy to.
At Jacquee’s house, she is folding laundry while Chris welcomes Midge and Lebanese Dilbert to his home. Specifically, his basement. Chris sits the boys down and lets them know that it’s a business trip for him, but he wasn’t counting on all the fighting going on between Jacquee and Teresa.
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