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Anyway, the parking lot trick worked and now Jacquee is all ready to party with the “old Teresa”. Chris reminds us that the men are there to enforce a peaceful time between the women. Over at Ter’s, she’s now not privately complaining about how hurt she was by Jacquee. Seriously, I can’t even remember why anymore. Was it the backyard ambush? Smurfy tells her enough, cause he’s now heard it about 100 times.
Milania flips upside down from what looks like an old Ab Roller and screams psychotically at the baby who screams back. Ter gets in something about how she’s worried about leaving her kids behind (or dare I say…UNATTENDED?) during the hurricane. Then again, she’s not exactly sure what a hurricane is. Something about rain and maybe some wind’s involved too, who knows.
Over to the Manzo boys. Guess, what – more packing! Apparntly, it’s a state-wide project. This time it’s Albie with his new girlfriend, Lindsey.
Every girl on every season of the Bachelor whose name you forgot? I’m her.
They have a mind-numbingly dull conversation about possibly missing each other and then we learn that Lindsey has a “roommate situation”. Meanwhile, Chris Manzo and Gay Sidekick are perched outside Albie’s door listening to this riveting update on the life of Lindsey.
Or maybe they’re waiting for a cue. Because they bust in, tell Lindsey how much they like her and then Albie invites her to move in. Well, that was fast. We only first met her two episodes ago. And has Caro signed off on this? Something tells me no, and that this is what’s going to suffice as drama on the open road.
More storm clouds, and then we get to the weather report. Newark’s cancelling flights, and so they now have to drive to Pittsburgh, wait there for 5 hours, then fly to Houston and finally to San Francisco. It’s shaping up to be a 23 hour travel day.
And then there’s Matt Lauer! And Chris Christie. So I guess they want us to know this is a an actual hurricane and not one made up for purposes of TV. Chris Christie’s monogrammed windbreaker is killing me, by the way. Does everyone in the NJ government have one? Did they do a phone tree that morning?
“Wear your hurricane windbeaker. Yeah, the one with your name on it. We want this wind to know who it’s dealing with.”
Well anyway, Chris Christie is here to emphasize that no one should leave home. In other words, the NJ cast is risking their lives for our entertainment. Caro informs us that the caravan to Pittsburgh will surely be “misery”. Then we get a map and some cutouts of everyone’s head. Very high level production quality here.
NY goes to Morocco, Atlanta gets Africa…and our gals are travelling by construction paper.