Welcome to the Borgata Hotel & Casino for the first in a three part series: Real Housewives of New Jersey: THE REUNION.
Anyone got a fucking problem with that?
Andy immediately informs us that the RHONJ have not been in the same room together for a year, and that today they are back for an intense reunion. Do you understand? Intense. To add to the edge-of-your-seat excitement, Andy also reminds us that the Posche fashion show, which we saw last week, was that last time they were in the same room together. Same banquette, actually.
But we’re not ready for that yet – first, let’s say hi to everyone. This part’s not particularly noteworthy besides the fact that it’s the debut of Kat’s new face. It’s also pretty much the most we hear from Kat for the first hour. She had a nose job, and then made her lips bigger. Andy gives her the “yellow light” for any more surgery, but she insists she’s done which I do not believe. I thought she was better looking before. She was trashy looking but in an interesting way. Now she’s just trashy looking.
And guess what? Last year’s reunion made history! That’s right my friends, 2011 will go down as the year of William and Kate’s were royally wed and the Real Housewives filmed a reunion while filming new episodes. It was also the first time a housewife has “played hooky” from the reunion.
So how is Jacquee, Andy wants to know. Well, she’s good. She’s happy to be there today. How is it being around Ter? Just fine, she says. And how about Ter? Like nothing, she replies. She’s moved on and is in a good place.
Spoiler: This thirty seconds of cringe-worthy passive aggressive politeness is as warm as it gets between these two.
Last year’s reunion left viewers with a lot of questions, Andy tells us, namely – where was Jacquee? We flashback to last year’s reunion and Caroline telling Andy that “there was an incident last night while filming”. Yeah, that happened to Mel. For the 4,876,129th time, what does this have to do with Jacquee?
The questions looms even greater in my mind as we are now privy to a flashback of last week’s fashion show, where Jacquee was texting away and glancing furtively around. Andy reminds everyone that they will be talking about the Posche show later, so don’t slow his roll with any of those accusations just yet – right now, he just wants to know why Jacquee didn’t show last year.
Jacquee says she was disgusted with the whole thing and “didn’t want to do the show anymore”. Caro allows Jacquee to speak for approximately 3.42 seconds, and then she steamrolls her to say that what set Jacquee over the edge was when Ter tried to blame Jacquee for the Posche set-up. Then it’s Caro and Jacquee literally speaking over each other for about a full minute. I really can’t get a grip on what either of them is saying but I’m pretty sure it comes down Ter getting blamed for Jacquee’s nervous breakdown.
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