“You’re a fool,” spits Caroline. Then she instructs Ter to “Look at my face ’cause I’m going to educate you.” Ter gives her a waving hand in response, to which Caro calls her a “pageant girl”. Why is Caro dead set on this pageant comparison? I think Ter’s dress is more stripper than pageant. Which makes me like it more, of course.
Then Ter goes really low -she tells Caro she has three rolls of blubber on her body and also reminds everyone that this is despite Caro having had a tummy tuck. But..why would someone so tiny need a tummy tuck? Okay, jokes over I guess, now that she’s somewhat acknowledged weight struggles at some point in life. Or at least aware that the “tiny” gig’s up.
Caro admits to the tummy tuck when she was 39, but nothing else. She’s never had Botox, she tells us proudly. Ter takes this news with the advice that Caro should get some, cause she’s on TV. Mel interjects to tell Ter it’s wrong to attack over appearance, but Ter says that Caro started it with the talk of the Christmas pageant dress.
Then it’s Lauren’s time to make a point, and she angrily tells Ter that the things she’s saying right now are the things that make people want to kill themselves. ”Cause of dickheads like you,” she snarls at Ter. Well, I hate admitting a Manzo point, but here we are. It was pretty low, even by Guidice standards.
Lauren seems very hung up on the fact that some may say she took the easy way out. Honey, who cares? You look better and you feel good, what more do you want? A signed waiver that everyone in the world accepts your lap band surgery? She tells Ter as much, and Ter classily retorts that sometimes the weight comes back after the lap band. “I hope it does!” yells Lauren in response. Um, huh? But I guess when you’re fighting with Ter, you just have to send logic on a little vacation.
And while we’re down here gutter wrestling, it’s now time for Lauren to tell Ter that she feels sorry for her kids. Well what better way to prove your point about bullying then picking on children under age 10. ”Don’t talk about my kids,” Ter says, a lot more calmly then I would have expected. Or appreciated.
“When they’re 20, then you can speak,” she says. Next on Lauren’s agenda is to prove that Ter doesn’t write her own blog. ”What’s napalm mean?” she asks Ter. Andy interjects to ask Ter if she does write her own blog, to which the answer is of course yes.
Just cause you can’t read above a fourth grade level don’t mean you don’t write your own blog.
Then it’s time for everyone to yell over each other again. Lauren is screaming at Ter about napalm. ”Keep going,” Ter advises Andy, completely ignoring the spelling bee that Lauren’s desperately trying to start up around her.
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