Teresa: Original Cast Member. Apprentice. Magazine Covers.
Kat: Cannoli kit.
Ter takes us to a blood feud with every single cast member, you take us on a college tour. She wears feather skirts to the supermarket, you wear cruise-wear in Maryland. More yelling about how everyone tried to help everyone, everyone’s been there for everyone, and then Ter throws in that Kat almost got divorced from Lebanese Dilbert! Kat denies, but Ter says she got the story from her Mother.
And then – “Your mother’s a fucking liar,” says Kat. Oh, wow. Are the tables nailed down? Gosh, I hope not. “Oh, really,” says Ter, again calmer then I would have expected. Did she medicate before this reunion? And Kat repeats the insult, this time adding “just like you”.
Ter is full of self-righteous outrage. So much so, that she goes over to sit on the Manzo couch, yelling “Never in my life!” over and over. “Hey, pal,” quips Caro. Jacquee asks if they can snuggle. You can tell they think they’re awfully clever. But Ter’s already on her next point, and that’s that Kat is also a lap band customer!
Caro tells her to stop talking and look at her. She asks Ter if that comment hurt her. Ter says yes, it’s my Mom and Caro says that this is the problem. I’m sorry, what is the problem? “It’s words and yelling and no one’s listening,” Caro preaches. Um, no, it’s Kat calling Mama Gorga a fucking liar. And by the way, where’s Melissa, dutiful daughter-in-law in all this?
Kat’s not done. She’s got her moment in the spotlight and she’s clinging on to it like day old marinara. She says something about going to Ter’s parents’ house to speak with them (about what?) and Ter’s Dad refused to speak with her. “He’s a coward!” she yells. Ter fights back by telling Kat that her father was there for Kat more than Kat’s own father was. Now Kat’s pissed about that. But again, what does she expect? “Coward” and “fucking liar” are not exactly family words.
And now…it’s Rosie’s time! There is all of the sudden lots of noise and banging going on backstage. Then there’s yelling and lots of agitated “FUUUUUUCK”s being throw around. “Who’s yelling?” asks Teresa, ever so innocently. “Who do you think,” Kat snaps back, looking at her like she was a fool to have woken the beast. The beast in full hair and makeup by the way, which makes me think Rosie was on the reunion schedule at some point anyway. Maybe this was her actual cue?
Anyway, Rosie does not disappoint. Here are just a few of her gems:
“Let me the fuck at her!”
“I swear to Christ, I don’t care if I get locked up, I’ll fucking kill her!”
“I will rip her head off!”
“I’ll fucking rip her fucking head off!”
Not entirely sure of the distinction between “rip her head off” and “fucking rip her fucking head off”, but maybe we’ll get that information next week. Coming to the Reunion Part 2 is Rosie, obviously, both Brown Smurf and Midge, Ter sings On Display, Mel yells that she’s the victim and someone walked in on someone’s husband with another woman. Intense terror, right? See you soon dolls! Kisses, CB
Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12