But it gets worse, because then Brown Smurf wants to tell us in the most lovely and polite way possible what he thinks of Ter’s family and friends. Let’s see…Midge is “a little bitch”, Rosie is a “butchy boy”, Kat is a frog, oh and we already know that Mel’s a horse. The Caroline gets called into the mix for always being negative. In the end, Ter decides that her brother broke a confidence and she’ll never tell him anything again. “You don need dem, you got duh powerhouse right here!” Brown Smurf tells her, pounding on his shiny, squishy brown chest.
Over at Mel’s they’re really forcing the purity angle down our throats, which actually does make me think these two spend an awful lof of time convincing us of the fairy tale they’re living, which means something’s wrong. Besides Mel being a former whore. Oh, wait, I’m forgetting about the black guys in the basement – ok, getting off track. They want us to think they’re pure.
Mel and Midge toss a football and the kids sit peacefully on a picnic blanket. Mel says that she feels bad when she has to tell Midge about the fighting with his sister, because she knows he loves them both. Um, wasn’t Midge the one who started this? Because he loves them both, he wants good ratings for them and I for one applaud that.
There’s another battle cry of how nothing will come between their marriage and children. So let’s go to Jacquee’s! What’s that bore snore up to? Well, she wants to bring THE SOLSTICE PARTY back to where it should be, and that’s on her. Oh yes, it’s alllllll about Jacquee. Hey, that sounds like an 80s sitcom.
So Jacquee thinks that because Ter was asking what Caro and Mel know about THE GOLDDIGGER COMMENT, that was putting her on the spot and being a bad friend. Okay then, where was all this “you’re putting me on the spot!” during the pre-party chicken squawk sesh in Caro’s kitchen? Where was your high horse then?
Then there’s a debate about loyalty, which somehow comes down to Teresa still being friends with Dina even thought Dina and Jacquee are no longer speaking. Stop dangling this Dina thing in front of us and just bring that side mouth shit talker back! The most interesting thing about this conversation is that Jacquee’s wearing a Skinny Italian t-shirt for it.
I’m planning on doing a lot of talking behind your back, but don’t worry, I’ll still promote for you.
While this stupid conversation is going on, we see some action going on outside the window. The there’s a blonde at the door – and it’s Jolene, the airhead lesbian who was hitting on Rosie at THE SOLSTICE PARTY! How fun! She’s their trainer! Oh, and she’s wasted! Oh, this is going to be the greatest training session ever.
First they catch her applying lipstick while she’s counting down their exercises. Then she wanders into another room. In her defense, she did show up in a t-shirt that says “Addiction”.
In a completely unplanned an unexpected moment, Ter gets a call from Kat inviting her to the End of the School Year party. And to innocently tell her that she left in a rush and she wanted to say hi. Lady, you sicced Rosie on her! Cut the babe in the woods routine already.
Ter says that she doesn’t really want to go to the pool party, and she doesn’t want to fight especially in front of her kids, but hey, contracts have been signed. The blood feud must go on. Jacquee points out that the trainer has her pants on inside out, and then it’s time to buy Caro a new Jag.
Yes, it’s the Manzo kids at the dealership acting like Chris is getting the car. Lauren makes some disgusting comment about getting air up her skirt. Ew, what is it with the ladies on this show and the inappropriate brother comments? Al and Caro are driving to the dealership, and Caro’s whining about how she needs 18-20 hours of sleep. Well, 4-6 hours of you is about all the world needs, so knock yourself out.