They arrive at the dealership, Carol still thinking that Chris is about to buy an $80,000 car. “She looks displeased,” comment Chris, who I’m not gonna lie, is starting to grow on me. I dunno. Do I like fat guys?
Caro goes on and on about how stupid it is for him to buy the car, and then they finally tell her it’s hers. It kind of seems like she might have seen it coming, but she still accuses them of almost giving her a stroke. Lauren takes pictures with her iPhone in a tacky case and the other Manzos wonder how they’ll be getting home.
And then it’s time for the pool party! Or the end of the school year party! Whatever they’re calling it, it’s surely destined to be the site of the next showdown. Kat is worrying that her party is under populated. Her kids usually have tons of friends at their parties, but there are like 5 kids there. We already know the cutie pie son is class president and the slutty daughter blows the basketball team, so where is everyone?
Then Lebanese Dilbert tells us that he told his kids to uninvited their friends so no one gets embarrassed by the blood feud. Then we learn that Jacquee and Caro are also not attending and Kat’s pissed cause she needed potato salad and lemon ice.
So what is up with Jacquee? She’s getting ready to video chat with Moonface. SERIOUSLY??? I thought we banished her to Vegas! I thought we were done. Well, I’m disgusted. So, according to the chat, she’s back to her old ways, going to bed late and getting up early and Jacquee is, yet again, disappointed and – well, what the hell did you expect shipping her off to Vegas? And Jacquee vows to keep her there until she changes her irresponsible, party girl ways.
The Gorgas are in the car – all except for Midge who is coming when he gets home from work, whatever that is. Mel laments the fact that she has to put on her game face to spend time with family. If they can’t act like grown adults for the kids, then they really have problems. In other words, they really have problems.
The Gorgas arrive and it looks like just a regular pool party. Rosie officiates a race. Lebanese Dilbert feels bad for secretly uninviting everyone from the party, but thinks they should keep kids out of it. ‘Cept his own, of course. Then we learn that everyone thinks Dilbert is good with kids while he dangles a shrimp over Mel’s little baby’s mouth.
With everything peaceful, what better time for the Guidices to make their entrance! They spill out of their jumbo SUV, with Milania defiantly declaring that she likes her hair messy. Come on lil’ hell raiser, today seems like great day for destruction! “Here comes drama,” someone announces as they walk into the backyard.
And the funniest part is that Mel’s little girl Antonia and Ter’s little baby are wearing the exact same frilly, pink swimsuit ensemble. Mel tells us that Ter gets her livid, and Ter instructs her kids to run around kissing everyone. Rosie is tending bar. Ter heads over and requests a margarita, prompting everyone else to call her a high maintenance bitch. I mean, who would dare ask for a margarita at a pool party? So out of line.
But it turns out, the acceptable pool party drink is actually a sangria, which Mel informs us that she ordered, which therefore makes her “easy”. Yeah, we know, Brown Smurf already filled us in.
Rosie appears from behind the bar in her gramma swimsuit and does a cannonball into the pool. Everyone seems to be having fun, so what better time to divert us to the most boring people on earth, the Manzos. They’re at the Brownstone, in the scandalous apartment that Al keeps at the Brownstone. In order to prove that he’s not doing anything illegal or having any kind of affair, they snuggle up on an old couch and tell us how they used to live on love in that apartment over the Brownstone.