Real Housewives of New Jersey: Swimming For Peace

Recaps

By ChickBomb | Saturday, May 19, 2012 | 11:48 pm | 17 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , ,
Posted in: Real Housewives of New Jersey, Recaps

And then he points out that he wasn’t around as much as she remembers, because Brown Smurf was so mean to him. Him and Ter are really two of a kind. But of course Ter denies that Brown Smurf was anything other than a perfect big brother role model to little Midge. They talk about what changed. Um, that whore Melissa, duh. Ter basically says that Midge should put her first, and force Mel to get along with her.

Meanwhile, evil Mel is running after Ter’s bunch of kids. Everyone’s shivering, no one has a towel, the baby’s crying…and there’s Mel, super Mom-ing it up while Ter insults her to Midge. Now, she’s down to accusing him of having a relationship with his wife’s family. Okay, so he’s supposed to force Mel to get along with her but he must NEVER SPEAK to Mel’s family?

Then Jacquee and Caro are dragged into it, as Midge points out that Ter is always calling them her family. Somehow, she ends up saying that she doesn’t need anybody. Well, that’s a little off message. Midge tells her that he’s not there to hurt her, but that once in a while she should accept that she’s wrong. Or he should. I don’t know. Whatever. They’re all terrible.

Now we’re talking about how when Midge was having his first kid, Ter was having her third. And she just needs to take care of her kids. Which really doesn’t seem like the best argument at the moment, considering Mel is currently hard at work getting Ter’s baby demon seed to stop crying.

And interestingly, Ter tells us that Gia hated Mel when she first came around. “Kids have good intuition,” she informs us knowingly. Of course. It had nothing to do with dragging away her Tio Joe’s attentions or the fact that her mother couldn’t remember the name Melissa so she just called her ‘the slutty whore who will steal your uncle away’.

She yells at him that he’s not that great, and that’s okay cause Joe doesn’t think that she’s that great either. Midge tells Ter she needs to admit that she didn’t always treat Mel right, and Teresa decides that he is the “meanest brother ever”.

And stay the fuck out of my room!

“Get the hell outta here,” he grumbles to her. And does he call her a bitch??? I think he does. Kat gets the kids out of the pool and Ter storms through the house talking about how “fucking over it” she is. Then she starts screaming for her kids, who are all being cared for by every bitch she hates which really pisses her off. She screams how disgusting and embarrassing the whole thing is. Well, should have thought of that before you flipped that table over, honey.

And everyone’s exhausted and everyone’s over it but guess what? We’re only on episode 4. Well, that’s what we got…sorry to anyone who was waiting for this, but thanks for making me feel loved! Kisses, CB

To get the funniest quotes from TVgasm recaps as they’re posted, follow us on Twitter or like our Facebook page! You can post your favorite lines right back at us. Thanks for being here!

For Housewives related facebookery, like our Housewives page!

To follow my personal tweets, click here.

Pages: 1 2 3 4 5
About

17 Comments

  1. 1
    Wasabipeas wasabipeas
    Posted May 20, 2012 at 5:39 am

    LOVED this episode, and Joe Guidice does look like a little pig!
    Great recap!

  2. 2
    NapaNonnie
    Posted May 20, 2012 at 9:20 am

    Loved the recap. What was that instrument of torture in the bedroom that looked like something from the inquisition that brown smurf was stretching his legs apart with while trashing “horseface” Mel, ” butchy boy” Ro, et al? That was a laugh. He has a gym, why not use it there.. Is it something they can use as a “marital aid” as they used to say in the old days? Oh i know it’s left over from his days as a world class gymnast before he started knocking out his teeth during his drunken routine.

  3. 3
    featherhead
    Posted May 20, 2012 at 9:36 am

    I hope butchy boy kicks juicy right in the junk! He totally deserves it, then everyone can call him Josephine!

  4. 4
    Beyoncca
    Posted May 20, 2012 at 10:47 am

    Joe Guidice always says the meanest things about Theresa’s family. I noticed when Theresa and Joey were arguing at the pool party, Theresa said “Joey You’ve Changed”, Joey said “How?” Theresa said ” Your used to be at my house like, all the time, now you never come around”. I thought Joey handled her well, because I would have went ballistic. Theresa seems to be the hardest woman to talk to, with constant contradictions, and double talk, double standards and outlandish lies. I’ve been watching since the beginning and have caught Theresa telling plenty of lies. I wish the best for the Guidice’s and Gorga’s and Wakile”s they all seem to be great families.

  5. 5
    NikkiHughes
    Posted May 20, 2012 at 11:33 am

    “I want to be the glue on the outside so everything falls apart and sticks to the floor.”

    That made cackle very loudly….bwaahaahaahaa

  6. 6
    hot cawfee
    Posted May 21, 2012 at 4:15 am

    Chicky B has the Critterfur love !!!!!!!

  7. 7
    hot cawfee
    Posted May 21, 2012 at 4:35 am

    Awesome recap my ChickyB!!

    OOOOOOOOOOO–where to begin ??? I have to start with Caro’s 80′s poodle perm–you style maven you!! Took me back–but disconcerting–the jar of Icy Hot on the table–is that better than Desetin for diaper rash??? The more you know!! shooting star

    Joe Guidice and Tre-sigh……I miss first season Guidices with “Happy Wife, Happy Life”, loopy but harmless Tre and full on Miliania–the kid doesnt disappoint.
    But how Teresa can twist and spin a conversation-shades of Danielle Staub-that is on tape for all to see is showing more delusion in her head.
    She doesnt seem to ‘get’ the fact that when people marry, they become a spouse and an in-law and then become parents and aunts and uncles etc. Relationships change. I adore my brother and if I dont especially like my sis-in-law, then I suck it up b/c she is a great mom to the kids and makes my brother happy. His marriage isnt about me—nor is mine about my brother.

    Doesnt Dina get along with anyone???? I miss her–shocked to say—-and I think her daughter Lexi is awesome. I hope they are at (and let me quote Caro) “My brother’s gay wedding”

  8. 8
    hot cawfee
    Posted May 21, 2012 at 4:38 am

    OK babies–and also- I was at Uncle Guiseppe’s in Smithtown trying to see Caro and Jaxx. I stood on line for over a half hour and no luck!!!!! No luck and no Black Water sample for me. I am shocked that there are so many people on LI who watch the show and are looking to meet them!!
    I was very disappointed—closest I got was the guy wearing his Black Water tee-shirt—and not the cool one that Jaxx wears on the show.

  9. 9
    featherhead
    Posted May 21, 2012 at 8:51 am

    @hot cawfee – thanks for trying! My friend was shopping at Uncle G’s at 11 am (she doesn’t watch the Howives) anyway she said they were setting up – appearance @ 1pm and there was already a huge line formed.

  10. 10
    trkaelin
    Posted May 21, 2012 at 9:09 am

    Since when is a margarita a “high maintenance” drink??? Isn’t Sangria more involved? Unless they got it pre-made from one of those jugs. Margaritas are pretty straightforward, no nonsense. I would expect them to be the staple of any pool party. Especially at a kids end of the school year party.

  11. 11
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted May 21, 2012 at 11:15 am

    I’m gonna say it: This episode, when Joe Gorga was talking to Tre…I actually thought he was hot!

    Oh GAWD! I need a 12 step.

  12. 12
    MrsMiaWallace
    Posted May 21, 2012 at 5:21 pm

    Wonderful recap CB! I too loved the glue comment!

    @ trkaelin, thank you! Exactly what I was thinking, making a traditional sangria is a huge pain and takes soaking or something. Jug o Margarita is pretty simple.

    On another extremely petty and irksome note, when the Manzos kittens were mewling about “how are we gonna get home?” I felt my brain melt. I can only assume it was a bad joke that the editors felt like leaving in because obviously the kids rode together to the lot. In a car. Two cars came to the dealership and the new car leaves. Now there are three adult kids and two cars that need to be driven home. Lauren lives with her parents. So she can drive their car to their house. They drive the new car. The boys ride out on the horse they rode in on. It is driving me nuts and I don’t know why! Those kids are so stupid and worthless!

  13. 13
    someguy
    Posted May 21, 2012 at 7:09 pm

    Great recap as always. I thought brown smurf’s end of the work out kick to the bag was great. That kick would land right on the shin of a normal size person,Powerful move Joe really bad ass. Sad to say I think we did see all the kids friends at the pool party.

  14. 14
    baymenxpac
    Posted May 22, 2012 at 11:49 am

    wait wait wait…there were at uncle guiseppe’s in smithtown?! my town?! 5 seconds from my office building?! HOW DID I MISS THIS?!

  15. 15
    labowner
    Posted May 22, 2012 at 1:05 pm

    Do we forget whose house we are at? I am going to assume Miss Kathy homemaker made the sangria before and all one had to do was pour.

  16. 16
    annie Annie
    Posted May 22, 2012 at 2:16 pm

    I think Tre requested a blended margarita rather than on the rocks (were there even margaritas there–I dunno) and when there wasnt any she just seemed pissed. Anyway, Melissa should have just kept the comment to herself.

    Duuuude yes, Joey did look pretty smokin’ at that pool party. WHAT HAS GOTTEN INTO ME?!

    Once again, Rosie continues to the the bomb

  17. 17
    annie Annie
    Posted May 22, 2012 at 4:09 pm

    * Rosie continues to be the bomb

    …sheesh

Post a Comment

Your email is never published nor shared. Required fields are marked *

*
*

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

Human Verification: In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.