We hear multiple comments about how when people are drinking, that’s when things get crazy. Which is why a wine trip was the best idea ever, duh. Ter’s trying to make out with the Brown Smurf in one of the rooms. Lebanese Dilbert drops a wine glass and yells for his slave Kathy to come clean it up. Caro hopes they don’t get them kicked off the estate, but never fear – Chris Laurita sternly informs everyone that he will not tolerate any “BS”.
That means Black Soap. Cause the product launch isn’t scheduled for another few months.
And then it’s time to head off to the vineyard that Black Water Inc. wants to do business with. Everyone is on the bus for this one, and they are drinking early. Caro tells us that it was supposed to be just Chris, Chris and Albie on the vineyard visit, but then they asked Caro because they “didn’t want her to feel left out”, which translated to Manzo means “it would be weird to still be breastfeeding”.
And then everyone else just got invited too, cause, you know, cameras and all. They arrive at the vineyard and embark on a tour. It’s not as much fun when you’re not drinking, everyone whines. It’s a small label that Chris and Co. want to distribute in NJ. It is not the worst idea I’ve ever heard, actually.
Caro’s practically doing a death march through the vineyard. Really lady, if it’s so fucking miserable you can just get off our TV, you know. The vineyard lady notes that the wine barrels are similar to fine furniture because they cost thousands of dollars a barrel. Naturally, Brown Smurf can get them for “Eight, eight-fifty.” Well, for barrels that rolled off the back of the truck, sure.
Finally, it’s time for the wine tasting. Brown Smurf kicks off the fun with his patented, “this is so fucking stupid” and it is handled with all the class and grace you would expect from there.
The wine tasting is a disaster. Albie is annoyed at everyone his dopey brother invited along for the ride. They’re supposed to be doing business, he complains, not listening to complaints about when they’re going to eat. Ter comments that everyone seems agitated. Chris Manzo shuffles along like a big dumb dog until Caro reminds him that he is there to learn.
Even I know this “Manzo success” business is on very thin ice.
He finally gets on the train as the walk through the vineyard, although his questions are basically “what color are grapes”. But, at least he’s sort of trying. They snack on grapes in the vineyard. “Use your tongue,” Midge advises Mel, keeping things extremely elegant, as always.
Then Midge and Brown Smurf are tossing grapes at each other. Hey, at least they’re not comparing penises so I don’t know what everyone’s so upset about. Chris Laurita even appears to be laughing, but of course all Caro can do is sigh that she’s glad they’re not in business with any of these people.