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Thursday, May 6, 2010
10:00 am
140 Comments
Tagged: bravo, hags, real housewives of nyc, recap, spoof
This week starts out with a mystery. Not the one where we all wonder why on earth Jill would get drunk on her own power and smash an entire country’s faith in her. And we still don’t understand the timeless wonder of Kelly’s missing pants.
I did discover one thing, though.
The count got all the classy manners in the divorce settlement, but thank God he left LuLu those suede boots. She’d be barefoot in Central Park without them! And lord knows that we don’t want to see nobility clean doggy poo from between their swanky tootsies.
Eating it? Maybe.
Nope, this mystery involves a fetus and a troll, and how did the rainbow haired bottom feeder get his hands on this super private information? Who told the blogging pig that Bethenny had a piglet in her oven? Hmmmmmm, I have thought long and hard (not really) and come up with a theory that I’m pretty sure we can all agree on. But first, it’s another morning with Lady B and her assistant huddled around their respective laptops in that bland little condo of hers.
They’re going over how unbelievably busy the world is when you whip up low cal meals for the masses, and then the assistant gets a text telling her to look at Perez’s blog. He published a post revealing that Bethenny is preggers, and she’s understandably mad because she didn’t tell anyone and she’s not even past her first trimester yet. Asshole!
Poor Jason. He’s a normal guy who didn’t ask for any of this crap. He’s got non-famous parents and a nice off-camera life that involves golf and going about his conservative business practices dodging nude pics of his fiancee while trying to keep up with that hamster wheel mouth of hers.
Let’s see. Who knew about the baby? The assistant Julie, Jason, and the camera crew/Bravo producers. Somehow I don’t believe that it was any of them. I’m pretty sure that leaking information would be a no-no for any of those people. Then we come to the fact that she was clearly showing a bump at the Gotham party. Who would notice? Probably lots of people. Any one of them could have surmised the obvious BUT who among them has a personal relationship with the FrankenFairy of the gossip world?
Ah yes, Jill. For so many reasons! She’s the type of person who cannot stand to be out of the loop on anything. She’s the kind of person that would do this since she knows that she will be asked her opinion by the press, and she LOVES giving her opinion to the press. She put two and two together and then ran her mouth to Perez while she was trying to figure out how she could work all the angles to her own benefit.
But first, she needs to milk LuLu for any information she might have, even as her trollop-ness is commiserating with the enemy, Sonja. They’re at her townhouse going over the details of the ‘Cocaine and Couture’ event and the poor hussy has to fetch their ‘coffee’ herself since it’s the maid’s day off. Please, it’s called Starbucks and Bailey’s and it takes about two minutes to get together.
They sip from their china cups and then Sonja says that they should go out to the garden since that’s where they always end up with their cocktails and cigarettes, or cigars. Oh my goodness! Did she just out LuLu as an off-camera smoker? Ha!
You know LuLu is a closet drag queen. It’s just ciggies she’s dragging on, not clubs on the Meat Packing district. You don’t just wake up one day sounding like you puff on packs of Pall Malls, you know. I bet she hides her butts in empty coffee cans on the fire escape, just like plenty of other smokers in New York. I’d go back to old episodes and look for tell-tale signs but I’m up to my ears in dogs again. Ugh. I should just start a service.
They go out to the garden and there’s dog shit everywhere! Sonja blames it on the maid for having the day off, but I’m not buying it. There’s at least a couple of week’s worth out there and it’s nasty. It looks like my yard back in March when the snow finally thawed to reveal several dozen perfectly preserved piles of poop.
LuLu steps right in a pile but those nasty suede boots have seen worse. I mean, come on. Who here hasn’t spilled a little on their shoe after a particularly messy joorey earning session? I bet she carries around a nice buffing tool in her purse at all times, right next to her ultra-long light 100′s.
Jill picks this moment to call and she immediately asks her where she is. “WE’RE outside by Sonja’s fountain,” she says, as she puts her on speaker phone. No need to lie about who you’re with, not when there’s no back stabbing planned at the moment. There’s still plenty of crap going on, though.
Jill is so jealous of this Sonja girl. The faces she makes says it all. Woman, you’re on camera! Quit grimacing like a Looney Tunes character or like a born again Christian speaking in tongues. You’re going to end up in The Most Hated Reality Show Characters’ Hall of Fame, right next to Kate Gosselin and Russell from Survivor. By the way, that bitch’s old hairdo made it all the way to the Shaker Heights wedding I attended on Friday!
Bitch, give me back my merkin! (bolded, as are all lines directly under spot for pic)
The gals talk about the ‘C & C’ event and LuLu asks if Jill’s fowarded the e-vite she sent out to any of her wealthy Diamond Card friends. She knows that Sonja is listening, she’s jealous because it’s another event that doesn’t revolve around her and she has to make sure to put LuLu in her place, so she trashes the invite, saying that it wasn’t up to her standards and that she could tell that LuLu didn’t put any thought into it. Way to love the underdog, you big meanie.
What a cunty thing to do. If anyone else said that LuLu would be demanding an apology. I was shocked when she completely ignored it. What the hell? I’m pretty sure that saying shit like that is poor form, but what do I know? I take pictures of crappy hairdos in church, it’s pretty much a given that I’M not classy.
She tells them that she got a Google Alert that Bethenny is pregnant. Bullshit. Not that I don’t believe that she’d be stalking Bethenny on the internet, cuz let’s face it, she would. She probably spends half her day in front of her computer reading up on everything written about every last one of them. I can just see her furiously biting her hangnails in bed every time a random blog touts Silex’s new book or Ramona lands on QVC with her jewelry line. Hey, she has herself on Google alerts, right?!? Let’s all say hi, Gasmii!
JILL ZARIN, JILL ZARIN, JILL ZARIN!
IS A JUDGEMENTAL HYPOCRITICAL C*NT!!!!!!!
I mean, love you, never change! If you did we’d only have LuLu to bitch about and Ramona for entertainment. Wait. That doesn’t sound half bad, actually. What is the world coming to? Hey, at least they filmed Jill working at Zarin Fabrics. I’m sure that she’s super busy shilling brocade in an effort to pay off her Saks’ bill.
I’m sure.
I’m back to liking Sonja again. We’re like Liz Taylor and Richard Burton at this point. One week I can’t stand her for being so calculating, and the next week I am in love with the way she makes Jill crazy with jealousy. Case in point- this entire phone conversation. Jill says that they out- yenta’d her because they dared to talk more than the three sentences that she usually allots to her sycophants on the other end of their conversations.
The whole time that Jill is trying to elicit gossip from the ignorant twosome, Sonja is giggling over how chubby she was after she gave birth and her bout with post-partum depression. She thought that Bethenny had a little bubble the other night but wouldn’t dare say anything since what if she’s wrong and she’s just bloated and gassy? Even where I live in Ohio, you’d get bitch slapped for pulling that shit. Unless you can see the outline of a kicking foot or recognise cootchie or weiner, it’s best to keep your yap shut.
LuLu focuses on the fact that Bethenny did just get engaged, so of course she’s pregnant. It’s the European way! Oh, and all those nast things that Miss B said to her? Hormones, of course! Why else would she call her a snake? She’s never done anything but be the most classy of superficial passive/aggressive digging friends to her. You’d think she was trying to put a wedge between her and her former bast friend or something, sheesh!
Jill keeps making faces and then she says that Bethenny can’t be more than 6-8 weeks along and she shouldn’t be talking about it. Is she trying to say that The Jaw leaked her own pregnancy? Nice attempt to avert suspicion, ass. I’m sorry, I don’t believe it for a second. Jill told Perez that Miss B looked pregnant and then stood back and let him run with it.
Did you notice how she never once said that it was just a rumor with these two, yet in print she did? I think that she may have found out from some Bravo minion, told Perez and then did damage control to look innocent. Then she tried to get back on Bethenny’s good side by seeming to support her by telling everyone that she should keep her pregnancy private. What is wrong with this woman? She thinks that she can compliment a ring and now everything is all better and Bethenny should go back to kissing her ass?
How charming, as is agreeing with the fact that the only reason she got engaged was because of the crumb grabber growing in her womb. She’s the type that can’t dole out a compliment without qualifying it. The type to say, “Congrats on graduating law school, too bad about the shitty job market, though,” or “Love your new bag, I had one just like it that I gave to the housekeeper last week.”
Hey, Jill. Love your pants. I saw some just like it on my pregnant neighbor yesterday.
I’m not lying. I really did.
The last bit of their conversation is funny too. LuLu asks if she should invite Miss B to the C & C event and Jill wants to know why she would invite someone who called her a snake. “But she apologised,” says LuLu, as if Bethenny meant one word of it!
After LuLu says that she won’t invite her, Jill says it’s her call, but she would want to keep her circle tight and they should wait and see if Miss B contacts Sonja first. Um, why would she do that? You don’t call and ask for invites. Jill just wants to know if Bethenny is calling any of the women with her big news.
It was nice for someone to finally point out how uncool it is to be ganging up on a newly engaged newly pregnant woman, too. Sonja says that they should be more understanding of the stress she’s going through and cut the poor girl spome slack. I agree one hundred percent. For fuck’s sake, Jill. Weren’t there any African orphans or legless Marines for you to pick on this year? You had to pick the pregnant girl?
The pregnant girl is saddled with the task of informing Jason that there’s been a change of plans. They won’t be meeting his parents in Pennsylvania where Mom and Dad get to share in the firsthand joy of expecting a grandchild. Nope, it looks like a phone call will have to suffice.
Do evil gossips ever think about stuff like that? I doubt that Perez gives a second’s thought to who he might be hurting. That’s one of the reasons that I hate to even acknowledge his existence. That, and all the body snark. He threw that information out there without even calling Bethenny or her publicist, betting on the 50/50 chance that it might be true. The fact that he didn’t reveal his source is highly suspect too. He must still be getting dirt from this person or else he would fess up. It’s a big story and he knows it.
Jason looks devastated. He looks like he’s going to cry. I wonder if she had a chance to tell him off camera, and if he made her promise not to deliver any shockwaves without giving him a head’s up first. I hope so, but he’s visibly angry.
Bethenny gets all defensive, telling him that’s it’s out and they’ll just have to deal with it, her voice rising in speed and volume. He quiets her by telling her to let him be upset. He has every right to be. He knew his girl made her living in the public eye, he just didn’t know the extent of that world. You can’t blame the guy. I sure don’t.
They hug it out and get up to call his parents. Here’s hoping that Mr. and Mrs. Hoppy don’t read jizz splattered drivel any more than Jason does. It would be nice if they could be the first to spill the beans about the impending nugget, and someone tell me how Perez doesn’t have a hit put on him by now. He’s lucky that all he got was one punch in his lumpish mug from Will. I. Am. I would’ve cut his tongue out and fed it to Cookie by now.
The next scene takes place at The Friar’s Club. I think that Jill said that she’s a member. We get to meet the new girl, Jennifer from Save the Date, an event planning company. I should say that it would be nice to meet Jennifer from Save the Date, only we didn’t really. We saw her write in a notebook and she said a couple of words here and there, but honestly. Jill takes over the entire conversation so none of us could possibly gather any impressions from the newbie, other than she’s human, female and possesses the ability to read and write.
So I’m gonna rule out the chance that she’s any relation to Leather.
Or Ramona, for that matter.
They are planning Jill’s Holiday on Ice party which she wants to hold at Wollman rink. It shouldn’t be a problem since Andy she’s friendly with the owner, Donald Trump. God, what name WON’T she drop? She’s at the Friar’s Club. I better see Joan Rivers emceeing this extravaganza too, by God.
Not happy with Ginger shitting all over one scene so far this season, she wants to make sure that everyone at her party has the runs by demanding a menu of pigs in blankets, chicken fingers, Jamba juice, hot chocolate, free cupcakes and lamb chops. Lamb chops, you ask? Up until that point it sounded like an 8 year old’s birthday party, and the combination of food makes me want to throw up. No doubt Jennifer feels the same way.
After all, she wore an entire roll of paper towels around her neck.
The dead baby sheep entrees were requested so she’d have some leftovers to take home to Ginger. Oh, and the cupcakes? Those she gets for free by promising that whoever makes them gets free advertising on the show, no doubt.
What a cheap piece of trash this Jill character is! Not to mention selfish. You see, she will be skating at this event which makes her nervous, and she can’t eat when she’s nervous so nobody else should either. She got the idea to have her own little skate in the spotlight from a 9/11 event that she attended but she hasn’t skated in years, so you all better heap the compliments on her even if she falls on her ass.
Who here believes that Jill is going to just show up and skate? PLEASE! She will approach this just like she did the tennis matches with Ramona. She probably got Michele Kwan on the phone and promised her some new couch covers in exchange for free lessons. The woman has probably been preparing for this since the first 9/11, trust me. Go big or go home, right? Mother’s Day is coming up and I’m only asking the powers that be for one thing. I’ve been a really good girl, Lord, and I don’t want to waste this chance to put in a simple request.
Please fall on your ass, please fall on your ass, please fall on your ass…..
It would be glorious, like Crackie getting hit in the head with a football, or the Pens winning the Stanley Cup again. I’m serious. I would cry. It probably won’t happen though and I don’t expect it to, anymore than I expect to see LuLu pick up a check.
Do you think that LuLu has had any plastic surgery? I saw her in Wendy Williams and she looked pretty damn good. She’d never admit it, unlike Sonja. She’s actually taking us along for her lipo consult, with Ramona and all that research she loves to do.
The doctor is tiny with even teenier hands. That must come in handy when you’re sewing nipples back on or sticking plastic baggies into women’s torsos through their belly bettons. Sonja doesn’t need all that work, she just needs to get her little tummy removed, and I mean little. It’s barely worth the bother but Ramona asks him tons of questions, none of which he answered to MY personal satisfaction.
Seriously, I wouldn’t want my body altered by a guy who doesn’t have hospital priveleges and hasn’t been board certified since 1973! I don’t care how many models Sonja says he’s operated on, no freaking way! And I would totally love to have Crazy Eyes there to ask the tough questions. She’s a good friend and she doesn’t back down, even when Dr. Bellin looks uncomfortable.
Be glad she isn’t throwing jeans at you, buddy.
Oh well, Sonja is going to let him do the honors anyway. I sure hope she doesn’t have a reaction to the anaesthesia or anything. That would kind of suck to stop breathing in an upper east side brownstone instead of NYU Medical Center where they actually have all the neccessary equipment for that kind of stuff. Oh well, you can’t let a little potential life or death situation get in the way of sharing your plastic surgeon with a bunch of supermodels. Silly me.
Nice ring, though. Someone knows how to earn fine joorey.
Back in beigetown, Bethenny is calling Alex to tell her the good news. Alex already heard what Perez said and she asks Miss B if she’s having nine of his blue haired babies. That’s a scary thought. Let’s all pray that he never decides to pay a surrogate, shall we? He’d make Michael Lohan look like daddy of the year.
Hopefully he dyes his pubes blue too and his dick falls off.
Bethenny tells Alex that she got an email from Jill shortly after the FrankenFairy’s leak, telling her that she tried to help the situation by saying publicly that it wasn’t true, that it was just a rumor, then lecturing her about not talking to the press for the sake of her sanity and the baby’s health.
Who asked you, hag? Bethenny just ignored her which is precisely the correct way to handle it. She goes on to tell Alex that she won’t be attending Ramona’s skin care launch that evening but if Alex feels like it and she finds a good time to, could she please tell Jill, ‘Bethenny’s done’ and not to contact her anymore?
Alex is chomping at the bit to do just that and tells Bethenny that she has a fire in her belly. You would be too if some woman called your husband a lush, refered to you as “those other two,” and belittled your parenting at every opportunity. She already proved at Saks that she doesn’t listen to a word that Alex says and she treats her like she’s a poor relation, better suited to staying in the background than actually participating in any of her reindeer games.
That’s okay. Alex prefers other kinds of games. Tonight it’s Spanish Conquistador and his naughty Senorita.
I don’t know how Bethenny put up with her as long as she did. Maybe she used Jill like Jill used her and considered the crap she had to put up with and overlook, as payback for staying in The Hamptons and eating Bawby’s food. Once her own stuff took off, it didn’t seem like such a good idea to turn a blind eye to her jilling ways, and who can blame her? Once again, not me.
The way she handled the slowing down of their friendship just proves that Miss B was right. Jill likes to start fights and thinks that she’s the center of the universe. She’s lucky that Bethenny tried to mend things. I sure wouldn’t, especially after she called the Today Show and complained that she was the one who should be hosting instead of Miss B. How dare she meddle with Bethenny’s business! What she did was worse than Ramona at the Kodak event, any day. At least Ramona said it directly to Jill and not to the marketing head at Kodak.
She’s about to take over Bawby’s big moment too. For some reason they are being given an opportunity to promote Zarin Fabrics on TV. I have never heard of this show but I think that it airs on LXtv, a station that I have never heard of. I think that Jill made it up. Bawby is nervous but instead of preparing him for the event since she has done this many, many times, she just interrupts him and takes over the entire interview, after telling him that today was all about him.
He seemed like he was about to tell an anecdote from the early days, maybe something about his poppa’s old pushcart full of fabrics and the day he met Leopold Stakowski on Sixth Avenue and then sold him all the fabrics for his new home with Gloria Vanderbilt. You know, some glamourous old New York story like that.
He barely stammers out a sentence before Jill interrupts and starts in with her Zarin Fabric speil. She even rattles off the latest price of silk mohair while Bawby bites his lip and disappears into the couch he’s sitting on.
Before they even got out there, she haranged him by asking if he was ready at least five times and then she ran into the doorframe as she backed out of the make-up room while giving him some last minute words of encouragement. Too late, biatch. Not everyone is a tragic camera humper like you!
“Look at me, Bawby, look at me. You do good and it’s Louis Vuitton luggage for everybody!”
It’s not like she can buy it with those book proceeds anymore. Bummer. Those women are going to end up owing the printer instead of collecting royalties. Maybe she can offer their fabric customers a free book with purchase. See, I’m giving Jill some sound financial advice. She owes me now!
Pfft.
She even bitched that she forgot to twitter the stupid appearance, like everyone is going to drop what they’re doing and run to watch channel 1152 at 5! I can’t think of anything more fascinating. Maybe Kelly’s latest article in Gotham, but that’s about it.
Or listening to a psychic. What is with these women and their freaking astrologers and mediums and empaths and assorted paranormal suck-ups? Sonja has a lady named Roberta.
If you think about it, psychics are kinda the olden times version of a Google Alert. You want to know if someone is talking about you, consult your psychic. You need a head’s up on who the Centurians might be gunning for, consult the town witchypoo.
It turns out that Sonja has known this lady for a long time, even before she married her J. Howard Marshall, even before she got to enjoy sex with liver spots and changing hubby’s nappies. This Roberta chick has been helping the little gold digger since she was just digging for silver, my friends, and that was a long time ago indeed.
I’m assuming that Roberta is in her 60s, judging by her need for dentures and hair re-forestation. I am willing to guess that she spends a decent portion of the proceeds from her nebulous prognosticating on White castle and KFC since she is easily the size of a SmartCar or a Calder sculpture. She could be a work of art herself.
Forget the Australian coastline, Christo can wrap HER as his next project.
None of that matters to Sonja. She keeps her around because Roberta is uplifting and wants to help her, not because she can speak to dead people or scribble down the winning Pick Four numbers. Her intuitive mind tells her that Sonja is looking to get spruced up by a plastic surgeon and then she compliments her loyalty to questionable plastic surgeons with lapsing certifications.
Sonja eats it up like it was the spooge of a 25 year old Argentinian ‘actor.’ Hey, I’m intuitive, I can read people and energies pretty well. If I put on a Shallow Hal fat suit and black out a couple teeth, can I charge 300 bucks an hour? I will compliment the SHIT out of you if you pay me enough. Unless you’re Jill Zarin, in which case you better bring a Louis Vuitton shoecase full of money. Then, and only then, can we talk.
You know how people always argue that psychics are full of shit because they never know when bad stuff happens to them, or if they are so smart, why can’t they concentrate real hard and come up with the winning Mega Millions numbers? As usual, I have my own little theory on these gals, and it goes something like this-
First off- many of them are charlatans, plain and simple. Second, they turn their focus outward since looking inward is such a shitty way for them to live. Every time I read about these people, they’ve overcome some horrific event in their life, eat their feelings with the efficiency of Kirsty Allie and desexualise themselves like a victim of Roman Polanski. Plus, they feel plenty of bad stuff too, they just don’t like to talk about it. Who wants to pay the bearer of bad news? Nobody, as we will find out later with Alex, but I do believe that the ability exists on some level.
Think about it. Everyone has a gift, even if it’s just playing beer pong.
Or misplacing your teeth.
Roberta tells Sonja some personality stuff. Sonja’s not naiive but she’s too trusting. She only wants to see the good in people and she gets burned when the bad comes out. I get the impression that Sonja is floundering a bit. Let’s face it, why else would she be on this show? No one in their right mind would do it unless they needed the money.
This one misses her team of employees from the days when she had five houses to run and four state’s worth of closets to fill. She’s been downsized into one huge townhouse and wants to make sure that she doesn’t lose that too. Hence, the psychic. She needs a little divine intervention to send her a new loaded sugar daddy when she’s finally weary of hot sex with gigolos and wants to return to the wallet humping days when she was at her happiest.
I cannot wait to get more of her story. I don’t need a psychic to tell me that she’s written a book about making cheap meals in your toaster oven. I’ve got Google for that. Girl needs to promote her brand, just like Miss B. It worked for her, why not Ms. Morgan? I want to know what else she is willing to put on our TV screens if she is so unconcerned about putting a non-telegenic creature like Roberta out there as her buddy. Who’s next, Jocelyn Wildenstein?
I can’t wait to find out.
Sonja wonders aloud why she would tell anyone who she is dating, perhaps to keep Roberta from spilling the beans. She doesn’t, even though she claims to know because she’s psychic. “As long as you don’t tell them who ELSE I’m dating,” tee hee. “Just make sure they aren’t in the same room at the same time,” says Roberta. Wow, she does know her, doesn’t she? Ha!
And what were they drinking- scotch? I noticed that Sonja polished hers off pretty quickly while Shamu barely sipped hers. I guess that it’s not considered sustinence when you are used to beverages with at least 500 calories per liter. Besides, it’s going to take more than a little rock’s glass of booze to get someone that size drunk.
Roberta tells Sonja to throw caution to the wind and get the fat sucked out of her belly and they joke about how Roberta could use a forklift, I mean breast lift. Sonja hints that she’ll help her but if she really cared, she’d get her a new bridge or stomach stapler, and deal with the empty hot air balloon sacks that remain.
Our vignette does nothing to help the Zarin cause this week, and I shouldn’t be surprised. I am, though. LuLu is giving a little Q & A about her stupid book and Jill, Ally and Kelly all show up late. They walk right down the middle of the room to take their seats in the front row and then proceed to text and talk throughout the entire fiasco.
She got a hobby all right, but it ain’t manners.
The interviewer asks LuLu what constitutes being a good guest and the first thing out if her mouth is, “Being on time.” There goes Jill looking at Kelly like she didn’t just walk in late too. Talk turns to brides and then Jill almost gets out of her chair to ask the (mostly gay) audience if any of them have a brother for LuLu. She then yells that Leather is available before being unceremoniously yanked back into line by Leather.
Do I need to add anything here? We’re all pretty clear on how obnoxious and uncouth her behavior was. Does she think that she’s funny? Isn’t she doing exactly the same thing that she accused Ramona of, and interfering with her friend’s livelihood? It seems that people will show up to these Housewife events from now on just to see what scenes will be made. It can’t be the advice. It’s apparent that all those books are for one purpose and it ain’t educating the public so much as lining some fancy pockets with Bravo viewer’s hard earned money.
Ramona is trying to earn her bucks with an actual product that serves a real purpose, her Tru Renewal, sorry Tru ReNewal skin care line. She really is a savvy business woman and recently did giveaways on Twitter, Amazon and even Elle.com, Leather’s old stomping grounds. The stuff is all natural and as usual she did her homework and consulted physicians and chemists. She looks great for her age too, there’s no denying it.
Somebody’s jealous of all that bright skin. Somebody resents the fact that Ramona doesn’t need a pound of bronzer and an entire eyeliner pencil to get through the day. Somebody who walks in the door at Equinox squawking, “Where is everybody?” like a buzzard circling a carcass, only she doesn’t realize it’s her own.
“Wherezzah food? The food bettuh be good, I tell ya. Who does a skincrarer lawnch without lamb chops? Who’s gonna feed Gingah, huh? Baaaawwwwbbbeeee!!!!!”
She acts like a tasteless pig, critisizing Ramona’s picture on the brochure, saying she looks like shit either because of botox or bad photoshop, all very loudly as the dour blonde ignores her and tries to get her tp try the products.
“Get that gunk away from me! Ramona roooned my Kodak event, so I’m gonna roon her skincrare party. That’ll show her who the bigger and better person is!”
That’s what she said in interviews, that she was going to teach Ramona by example how to do the right thing, instead of ruining her party in the same manner that ramona ruined her Kodak thingymajigger. Then she acts like a vulgar piece of low rent gutter trash from Long Guyland. What is she thinking? What an ego. She must think that somehow they’ll edit it to be funny, like the tennis games of yore. Not this time, sweetie.
They show you in all your hypocritical glory as you verbally bitch slap Ramona for having unhealthy food at her natural cosmetics launch. WTF? That doesn’t even make sense! I didn’t see the food she had, but wasn’t Jill just ordering nitrate and sugar laden kiddie food for her skating party? Where does she get off dissing Ramona? At least Ramona made sense when she criticized Kodak. This is just pure bitchiness. I can’t wait for her to try and blame it on the editing. That’ll be rich.
Jill still isn’t done, she’s on a roll and remarks loudly that nobody needs anymore skin care lines. There are already too many on this earth as it is, which is just plain dumb. I’m in my 40s and I am glad that they keep coming out with better and better anti-aging goop for my wrinkles. Thank God they didn’t stop at Oil of Olay, so that I can buy some pretty decent L’Oreal stuff for $20 at CVS.
Ramona’s is a bit more expensive than that, and more useful than another bad advice book whose printing no doubt caused the killing of many trees. Did anyone even look at Secrets of a Jewish Turkey Vulture in the store? Does it say, “Made from recycled materials’ anywhere on it? Didn’t think so. And Gloria’s face doesn’t count, not unless they used her facelift snippings for the binding.
You know who doesn’t need a facelift OR any of Ramona’s creams? Silex, and they arrive looking jolly and passing out kisses. I love Alex’s hair this year. The color has grown on me and her make-up is light years better than it was back in the days of off-season beach vacations and inflatable pools.
A delivery arrives for Ramona and it’s a bottle of Pinot from Bethenny. She doesn’t get a chance to open the card before LuLu waltzes up for more air time, saying that Ramona barely said hello to her. You can’t win with those women. Why even try?
The card says that Miss B is sorry that she isn’t there but she promises to toast her success 7 months down the line, basically announcing her prgnancy to everyone there. Alex chimes in that she already knew. She even had a 45 minute conversation with her that very moment and then high fives Ramona right in front of Jill’s jealous face.
Next up- chest bumps. With Shill’s face in the middle.
That rat faced party pooper interviews that she doesn’t even know who Bethenny is anymore, that her life is so public that she doesn’t know the difference between real and personal. I don’t know, that may be true, but she knows something way more important. The difference between REAL friends and ‘friends’ that are only out for their own PERSONAL gain. Kinda more important, especially when you are famous.
And who applied your lipstick- Ginger?
She needs some Tru ReNewal. She looks like a tired old hag. Maybe she’d sleep better if she wasn’t trying so hard to keep up with all those lies and behaviour demerits. Maybe if she wore something other than sweats to bed at night, Bawby would bang her every once in a while. Loosen that stick up her ass with that fine Zarin shmekl, let bawby motorboat those downsized tsitskeh and smack that tokhes to the beat of LuLu’s new song.
Okay, I apologise. That was disgusting. I didn’t mean to make you think of LuLu’s song again.
Maybe Jill is menopausal. Maybe she’s such a cunt because HER hormones are out of whack. She definitely has reproduction on her mind because when Alex says that she has a special delivery of her own, Jill asks her if she’s pregnant.
Haha, not. Ramona says that if she has a message from Bethenny maybe Miss B should deliver it herself. We all know how well that worked out, so PLEASE. Poor Alex keeps getting interrupted by all the morons hogging the camera and turning what was once an annoyance, ignoring Alex, into an Olympic sport.
Those hive spots come out on her neck as Alex gets more and more rankled by the circus of not-so-well meaning morons around her grows louder and more chaotic. Jill knows that whatever news she has is going to bad and she doesn’t wamt to hear it. I wonder what she thought that Alex was going to say, that Perez ratted her out? Or The Daily News?
Alex says that she didn’t intend for this to be a group activity but once it started there was no going back. Everyone continues to joke and deflect as she gets redder and redder and then finally she blurts it out- she tells Jill that Bethenny is done and never wants to speak to her or see her again.
Is there a Tru ReNewal product for hives? One that eradicates middle aged JAPs would do nicely as well.
Okay. I knew as soon as I saw this that Alex was going to get shit on for delivering her message in front of everyone instead of taking Jill aside like she did at Saks. I have zero problem with how she did it, and I applaud her for not busting a cap in that bitch’s ass for the way she was ignoring her and speaking to her condescendingly. If it were me, she’d be nursing a bright red handprint on her face and I’d be cooling my heels at local precinct. Here’s why-
I. She never would have EVER gotten her alone anyway. LuLu refuses to leave her side, and even if she did, she would have eavesdropped just like she did at Jill’s apartment.
2. Good for her for sticking it to the bully! This is the natural order of things. If you make it your life’s work to treat people like shit, I’m sure even God will turn a blind eye when you get a little in return.
3. Let’s not even go there with the whole “two wrongs don’t make a right” argument. This isn’t some fantasy land where there’s a code that everyone has agreed to abide by. Hypocrisy abounds. Everyone breaks all the rules ALL the time. It’s freaking chaos, for goodness sakes. There are no winners here, don’t fool yourself. That’s Jill’s job.
4. Jill spins everything. If by chance Alex got her alone, it would have turned into the ‘get a hobby’ comment all over again. This way everyone heard what Alex said and she can’t fall victim to having her words twisted around.
5. Since when can anyone get a word in edgewise with Queen Zarin? Alex had to grab the first chance that Jill inhaled. She had to time it perfectly like hopping on a moving train or hitting your ball past the windmill at the puttputt course.
6. Jill uses LuLu for her messenger, Perez and Cindy Adams too. Why can’t Miss B use Alex?
7. This was nothing, I mean nothing compared to the real axe that Alex has to grind. Jill is lucky that she still has her hair and teeth. Like I said, if it were me, I’d still be paying off Jill’s chiropractor bills from the whiplash my slap would have given her. Or maybe not. Do Harpies even HAVE spines?
Back at the party, the entire room deflates with Kelly calling what Alex did “creepy and fourth grade.” She would know. She probably spent a good three years there.
Where do you think she got those shorts?
Jill just cannot understand why Alex would say such a thing and then Ramona says that she’s surprised at Alex, she has some real balls to do what she did. No doubt.
Kelly runs back to tell Jill that they are ready to get that foot massage that she’s been going on about all night, but Jill wants to leave. The poor baby came to the party to ‘roon’ it for Ramona and ended up having it turned around and ‘roooned’ for her! That Karma, she’s a bitch. Jill should get that tattooed on Ginger’s ass and embroidered onto every pillow in that hideous condo of hers. It is fast replacing ‘go big or go home’ as her motto.
Now Jill interviews that she wonders what Alex had to gain by “embarrassing and humiliating” her. Who cares? I was entertained. That’s good enough for me. I did find it strange that Alex didn’t tell Simon what was up. She didn’t want him to talk her out of it since he’s one of those people that doesn’t seem to believe in making enemies. he yearns to be popular and let’s everything roll off his back. Try doing that when you are a mother defending your young, THEN we’ll talk.
Plus, Alex felt good to get her message out and she knows that what she did forever changes any kind of relationship she has with Jill. She wouldn’t have done it if she had a problem with that, and we all know that it was inevitable anyway, as is LuLu and her protective outrage.
She puts her arm around Jill as Kelly tries to explain the literary history of the term ‘killing the messenger,’ which Simon used in converstion before Alex delivered her news. Yes, Kelly. We all know what it means and where it comes from. What’s next? Are you going to explain the origins of other phrases for us? How about you look up STFU for me? I would love a little history lesson on that one. Thanks.
Jill leaves, calling Alex mean over and over and even calling her a bitch. She just doesn’t understand what she ever did to Alex that would make her say such things to her. All she ever did was treat Alex with perfectly dismissive contempt after painting her as a shitty mother to everyone who would listen. There’s nothing wrong with that, right? Boo hooo!
Okay, bye! Don’t trip on your hypocrisy on your way to the taxi stand!
LuLu seemed a little freaked out to me too. What is she going to do if Jill’s lies get outed. If Jill is fair game, then is she far behind? She must be shaking in her Robin Whore suede boots right now. She better pray that her dalliances are as embarrassed by her as she is of them.
Early the next morning, Alex treks up to Bethenny’s condo to tell her what happened the night before. Miss B is exhausted and doesn’t even get out of bed as Alex delivers some barely worn maternity jeans to her.
Oh, look. A ‘bed family’ I don’t want to puke on.
Cookie barks at Alex, no doubt still smelling the stench of Zarin shenanigans on her, and then Alex tells her about the night before. Bethenny compares what she did to mobsters delivering messages with the barrel of a gun and blowing someone’s head off. She says that she’s surprised that Alex delivered the message with such anger and her eyes get as big as saucers.
Jeez Louise and holy catfight, Cactus Woman!
She asks Alex how she got the nerve to confront Jill and Alex tells her that it was the perfect storm. She had her own issues with Jill and it was more about her own anger than Bethenny’s frustration. In other words, she admits it.
SHE OWNS IT. Refreshing, no?
She says that she felt good afterwards and for once, Jill actually listened. Bethenny tells her that Jill thinks of her as a wallflower which is true, but maybe she;ll stop treating her like a doormat as well. Yeah, right. I saw the previews for next week. Jill pulls out the “How dare you!” card like she’s the only one that has one. Look up the origin of that phrase, Kelly! I’m pretty sure you’ll find it right next to a picture of an uppity bitch.
Never mind. I looked it up for you!
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I think it was Jill who spilled the beans, too. Who else? I am just hoping that I will get a chance with Bawby when he is finally done with Jill . . .
Oh my gosh Twunty, excellent recap! I can always count on you to call it like you see it. “Don’t trip on your hipocracy on your way out to the taxi stand.” Classic. To the point. Correct.
Jill has been such a bitch this season, I don’t know how in the world she will defend herself on the reunion show. There’s too much evidence to her evil-doings.
Keep up the good work, love ya. Joyce
Wow Twunty you knocked it out of the park! You were spot on with everything. I think Alex just reached black out anger that comes over people. The kind that makes you not care about making a scene. The kind I see in the Walmart parking lot, mothers screaming and spanking their children right out in the open. Good for Alex though for going there. Jill has already alluded to the fact Alex did that because she had to step up the drama to stay on the show. No self awareness for our pal Jill that is for sure.
At first, I was concerned that Alex telling off Jill in front of everyone was the wrong move. But, Twunty, you hit the nail on the head – the minute Alex ‘fessed up that the message was about her own stuff too, I was okay with it. You are right, it’s so refreshing for someone to be honest on this show.
And, as much as I hate Jill, I’m not sure I’m on board with blaming her for outing the pregnancy. I think the Bethenny announced her engagement, and Perez took a shot at her being pregnant. Either she would deny it or he’d be right. Either way, Perez has nothing to loose.
Ugh Shill is getting worse and worse and the editors/producers aren’t being very nice to her either. Her attitude and snide comments are making her look awful. Great Job Alex!! And, yes, a million times yes I agree that Jill leaked it to Perez…she is his “friend”! She went to his party earlier this season.
Oooh, I cannot wait for the reunion show. Jill is going to need an ice pack for her ass after the hot seat she will be in.
I felt badly for B & J, this was no way to have their news shared. However, one thing was odd – B asked if J’s parents could make a trip to NYC that day so they could tell them in person. When he said no, they couldn’t , there was no mention of B & J making the trip to Pennsylvania. If you really wanted to tell them in person, then rearrange your schedule for the day. I’m sure B & J are both busy, but this is once-in-a-lifetime news, make the drive!
Ramona at the Dr. was awesome! I’m with you, Twunty – I’m taking Crazy Eyes with me the next time I visit a Dr. I loved how she put him on the spot and had him stammering with his replies.
Ah, Jill…. Jill trashing Lulu’s evites was just pure cuntishness– if anyone else had said it, not only would Lulu have demanded an apology, but she would have continued to bring it up (occasionally in European Romance Languages) forevah! Jill acting up at Lulu’s event – if it was anyone other than Lulu, I would have been seething. Somehow, having Jill acting like your drunken uncle at Lulu’s event was somehow perfect. Especially since Countless was talking about MANNERS, my sweet. And Jill complaining that Bethenny should keep parts of her life private is rich. Isn’t Jill the one who Twitters every time she goes to the john?
“…Kelly calling what Alex did “creepy and fourth grade.” She would know. She probably spent a good three years there.” Snortle! That was the most awesome comment ever.
I am with you 100% that Alex’s behavior was not only justified, but the only way to deal with Jill. Had it been a private conversation, Jill would have turned it into something altogether different. Any conversation with Jill should have witnesses. Yay for Alex, I’ve been liking her more this season but she just jumped 20 places in my estimation. And I think tonight she will jump another 20.
Twunty, you always give us the most wonderful recaps and put these dames in their places.
THANK YOU and big hugs, xoxoxox
In my opinion, one reason Jill is acting the way she is in front of the camera (making faces while on the phone with Lulu, and talking so much shit about everyone for instance) is because she has been one of the more liked housewives the past few years – she thinks we’re all on her side. Once she sees how she’s coming off on camera she’s gonna freak and blame it on the editing. She seems like such a petty greedy harpy – ugh – hate her!
Twunty – love your recaps – always have, always will. You are hysterical. However, I have noticed that you are unnecessarily cruel when you are discussing anyone – be it an adult or a child – whom you consider overweight. Without a doubt Roberta the Psychic is overweight, but calling her “Shamu” and making other mean comments about her weight? Mean-spirited, and not funny. Keep the snark and by all means continue to lambast Jill, but stop the discrimination against fat people (and no, I’m not fat, just offended by cruelty).
I hope Lu Ann purchased plenty of that rejuvenating cream from Ramona to cover her two faces! I cannot stand those two, Jill and Lu Ann. Jill needs an ally and Lu Ann steps to the plate. Hard to believe that she forgives Jill for spreading the rumors all over NYC of how many “dalliances” Lu Ann had before the divorce. Tsk, tsk. Looks like somebody owes somebody else an heartfelt apology here.
Love, love the recaps. You delve right into the hypocrisy that is all the Housewives shows. Fake friendships. Over the top cattiness. Excessive spending. Lousy taste. Shitty dogs. Mean spirits. Plastic surgery. Plastic people. AA wannabes.
Sheer perfection from Twunty McSlore!
Twunty:
Excellence In Recapping, as always.
Now… somehow I linked over to a rather aptly named site called TheDirty.com (don’t worry, it’s just rather skeevy ) and according to them, Jill is paying people to edit her Facebook Page. This has apparently become full time employment for several people, especially right after Housewives’ airs (heh!). She has really gone off the rails.
LOVE your manicure, Twunty.
Hell yeah, Jill told Perez! Shit just keeps blowing up in her face all over the place, doesn’t it? Well, if she weren’t such a back-stabbing, conniving, two-faced bitch, it probably wouldn’t.
LuAnn and those suede boots. Sigh. You would think the judge would have felt a little more compensation for two children was due her, but maybe he heard her song before reaching a settlement.
I loved the way Bethenny handled it when her dog got territorial about Alex approaching the bed–she just dismissed it as a non-issue and the dog fell in line. Ginger is such a cunt because Jill is such a lacking-in-discipline cunt.
Poor Alex and her hives! But she was very brave to approach Jill–if she had heard the way Jill was going around trashing Ramona before Silex arrived, she might’ve walked right up and popped her in the face. Ah well, maybe next time? Say tonight?
Ramona really impressed me in two ways: her appropriate questioning of the doctor AND her advice to Sonja to try exercise first. To me this proves that Ramona doesn’t just rely on plastic surgery to be in such good shape for her age.
One thing about Sonja–I really thought she handled Jill and LuAnn gossiping about Bethenny well–she didn’t join in, she tried to deflate what they were saying. Which really made me disappointed in Bethenny’s blog this week for her dissing Sonja as passing judgment on Bethenny–I don’t she did, but she couldn’t stop the two crones from doing so.
Excellent recap as always!!!! Countless’s boots are bad enough- but why does she have knee socks sticking out of them? It really, really bothered me while I was watching.
Jill is an idiot…thank god my husband watches this train wreck with me because he has kept me from throwing things at the TV screen and breaking it. I cannot believe Jill does not see how badly she is behaving.
Kudo’s to Alex! Loved her giving it to Jill- I am astounded at how the others would not let her talk. I was getting really frustrated!
Nice manicure and bird-flipping form. Too many people don’t get enough extension on their finger and it just looks sad and stumpy. You, ma’am, are a pro.
Great recap, too.
Twunty – Love reading your recaps you always get it just right.
Maybe now that Luann stepped in shit she’ll give those boots a well deserved rest. Jill at Ramona’s skin care event was typical Jill – What a bitch!
Love that Alex gave it to Jill and who cares if it was in front of everyone. Jill loves an audience when she is slinging her
hurtful comments.
Guess what? I have now taught my mother to call LuAnn the Cuntess. I also pointed out the boots and the constantly re-appearing purple dress, so I hear her yelling out “Boots!” or “Dress!” when she’s watching from her bedroom.
I Love my Twunterful re-caps!Twunterful work,as always
Hugz,Robin
Ngasmfan,
I thought the same thing.It wouldn’t have been a big deal to take a ride or hop on an air shuttle to share the good news.Philly isn’t that far.It didn’t surprise me that she didn’t want to go and preferred them to come to her.What did surprise me was that she wasn’t willing to bend even a little bit and had no qualms about a phone call instead,knowing how much this meant to Jason.I saw selfish all over her.
OMG…I’ve been stalking TVgasm all week!! YAY!! I took all my frustration out on Flippy a few days ago because I didn’t have my Twunty fix…LOL! Jill is a goddamn mess!! Nothing she says or does surprises me anymore but leaking the pregnancy to Perez was low. And dissing LuAnn’s e-vites was hilarious. Those two deserve each other. I hope Sonja is taking notes. This is the type of “tight” circle she’s getting in with. As for the comment from Olderandwiser about making fun of the overly plump – I don’t have a problem with it. The way I see it, being overwight isn’t a disability. Medical-related obesity is VERY rare and most obesity is due to over-eating and not enough exercise. I, myself, go back and forth every few years when I become lazy. I have to watch what I eat and work it!! I thought what you said about Roberta was funny. Oh…speaking of – I read Kelly’s blog and she repeated on there what she said on the show about how she felt she was in fourth grade or “forth” grade as she spells it!! A lot of people called her out on it! Dumbass.
Seconded on your flip o the bird Twunty – truly an art. I So glad Alex spoke up in front of the whole group. Stupid Jill would have drown her out if given the chance to talk privately and then totally reinvent the conversation afterward – bitch. Lord I just hate her.
And Jill’s got to have something on Lulu. I don’t know what it is, but it must be juicy for Lulu to not to call her out for the evite slapdown or the ohmigod stupid behavior at the book Q&A. She just can’t be that pussy whipped by her bravo bff without some threat keeping her big stupid shit stained suede boot wearing mouth shut.
I literally wait with bated breath for this recap and Twunty you never disappoint. xoxo
Aw!! I’m sooooo glad to see that someone 100% agrees with me on everything! That bitch Jill noticed the bump that B was sporting and she slipped it to Perez. She’s the only one on the show that us up that dude’s ass – the rest of them seem to hate him as much as the rest of the world. Oh, and you can surely bet that anything that Jill says negative about someone else is actually a reflection of her. She’s just deflecting so as to throw us off her cunt scent. Remember her saying all that shit about B whoring herself out to the media – always telling the paparazzi about her every move? Hmmm…is that guilt I smell, Jill?
I’m just so surprised to watch the first seasons. I thought I would see a different Jill since everyone seems to have liked her until this season. I think she’s shown her true bitchy colors from the get-go. Remember her flipping out over Ramona not inviting her to that cooking party? What is she, 5? Who gives a shit? If she didn’t invite you, then she didn’t invite you. It’s not a personal stab – especially when it comes to Ramona. That woman is a saint when it comes to letting shit roll off her, forgiving, and forgetting.
I can’t wait to read your recap of tonight’s episode. Hurry!!
I hate Perez Hilton too, especially when he “outs” celebrities he thinks are gay. I think that’s bullshit, and forcing your moral standards on other people is, well… immoral, IMO. I notice he doesn’t ever seem to have any lovers, and he’s a revolting lecher when it comes to some of the emerging young male stars who are barely even of legal age. Seriously, when you have beautiful and talented men like Neil Patrick Harris and Marc Jacobs to respect and admire – he just looks like the dumpy french-horn playing fat kid who happens to live next door to the homecoming queen, so he’s kind of in the loop by default. Ugh – anyway I’m off track.
Jill is despicable. I think she’s about to see how much of a double-edged sword her public persona really is, Vicki from RHOTOC learned that lesson the hard way too. She had to rehab her image because her business relationships suffered, and by extension so did her business. I think like we did with Donn, we may start to see another, less passive, side of Bawby emerge. Whatever tolerant and benign attitudes he may have had towards Jill’s antics have probably been influenced by the positive impact the publicity has had for his business – it won’t take much for him to reevaluate her as a liability when longtime customers start to register distaste and/or possibly pull their business as a result of their disapproval of Jill. I would not be surprised to see Jill less engaged with Zarin Fabrics next season, or “take time off” to focus on charity work, etc. Bawby’s a lot more Alpha Dog than he appears, or he wouldn’t be as successful as he is – Ally’s not his kid, and at the end of the day Jill is pretty expendable. She better be a virtuoso of Fine Joorey Earning… or in her case not joorey, but a place to live.
I love how LuLu’s maid’s seem to always have “the day off”, now Sonja’s too. LOL – yeah right, they’re on the road to genteel poverty. There are no more maids, just twice a week housekeepers – soon to be once a week, then they will become like those Upper East Side shut-ins who live in stale smoke-filled labyrinths of decades of NYT issues, and dried up piles of doggie poo, as they stagger around sipping cheap gin and obsess over yellowed clippings of their halcyon days in the lunch and leisure set.
Lulu’s anti-semitic ex-Count probably found himself the sharpest (Jewish) lawyer in NY and nailed her ass to the rafters in the prenup… $2500/month in NYC?? LOL!! That’s nothing, not even in upstate NY, where I live. I’ll bet all her good jewelry was on loan from the family coffers as well – I think she’s broke. Broke as in, she doesn’t have the available funds to even do a fancy lunch without some planning. I’ll bet her kids have bigger allowances than she does now.
I so agree with your assessment of Alex vs Jill, Twunty!! I think you are right on the money… I actually totally get why she did that, I blew a 20 year friendship out in much the same way a few years back. It’s not really my style, but I needed to slash and burn it because I was sick of getting sucked back into someone else’s toxic pathology. Sometimes chemo doesn’t work – you just have to cut that sh*t out, and get rid of it once and for all time.
Ramona is crazy like a fox. She’s smart as hell.
Great recap as usual! Alex’s delivery may not have been perfect (she may just be too nice to deliver a proper smakdown), but good for her for doing it anyway. All hail Queen Alex!
I’d bet money that Jill is the one who told Perez about B’s pregnancy because the termite is a close personal friend of her’s – as are Donald Trump, Michael Lohan, Patti Stanger and many other fabulous and well-respected “Society” types. OMG the vastness of Jil and LuLu’s narcisism is absolutely staggering, Tonight’s episode made me hate JZ that much more, and I can’t fathom how this is even possible considering how much I already despised her. This latest episode also caused me to graduate from flipping the bird to Jill and LuAnn to involuntarily shouting “FUCK YOU, YOU MISERABLE, HYPOCRITICAL, CONNIVING BITCH!” whenever they appeared on my TV screen.
LOL at Kelly’s explanation of the “kill the messenger” thing. In literature the messenger was always killed? WTF? And WTF would Kelly know about literature anyway? I doubt she could make it all the way through The Cat in the Hat or The Berenstain Bears. Idiot!
At the moment I’m so disgusted and aggravated by these despicable harpies that I can’t form a coherent thought. Just UGH!
Cheez – your description of Sonja & LuLu’s future abodes conjured up images of Grey Gardens, LOL.
I’d be glad to have Alex as a friend. No way she should have delivered the message in private. There is always a need for witnesses when dealing with Jill. Her spin on it would have only provoked more speakerphone eavesdropping sessions.
This must be the year of horrifying behavior from life long friends. I too have ended a 30+ year relationship with someone I would have formally taken a bullet for. We’re supposed to mature as we age, no?Some people just don’t know when to shut up.
I think we’re very near a break-up between ol’ Shitboots and Jill. She no longer has the funding to be in Jill’s fabulous circle of phonies and she eventually will have to call Jill out for her rudeness towards her, right? She can’t possibly be that clueless, that’s Kelly’s role.
As always, loved the recap Twunty. Another gem.
Twunty, I’m a little concerned at how upset you’re getting at this made up show, which now has an integrity level similar to that of The Hills. I believe about half of what I see, and none of what I hear. Jill’s level of cuntinaeity has risen as the producers realized Kelly was more of a foil than a villain. Bethanny is knocked up and has a camera crew following her around–eventually, someone was going to catch on or spill the beans. It didn’t have to be Jill. It might have been, but I feel like making that assumption is just eating what the show’s producers are feeding us.
And Ramona is looking like 40 miles of bad road.
@Shantigal: I see a huge throw-down between Jill and the Cuntess looming, too. And between Sonja and Kelly. And possibly Sonja and Jill.
From last night’s episode, I have one question if anyone knows the answer: What was Sonja rolling her eyes about when Alex was telling Jill off? Alex had just said that she was a working mom from Brooklyn and Jill talked over her (as usual, but I didn’t catch what she said), the camera then panned to Sonja who rolled her eyes and also said something I didn’t catch. If she was rolling her eyes @ Jill, I’m with her. But if she rolling her eyes at Alex, to hell with her. Did anyone catch more about that than I did?
WasabiZarin has a nice ring to it. Can I be the flower girl? I’ll give you a case of Bitch wine if you can pull it off!
Thanks, Joyce! I don’t either but somehow they always manage, you know? Most of them should be in PR, spin, spin, spin is all they do all day long.
Baxter, aren’t you sick of all the ‘stepping up the drama’ excuses? You did it, so own it. If it’s fake, then you’re an idiot for letting yourself look so bad.
You could be right, LawyerGal. Obviously I don’t know. I would love to see her asked point blank by Miss Andy, though. Squirm!
Amber- I do worry about some of the editing too, especially when Jill made those example setting remarks before she ‘rooned’ Ramona’s launch. Can she really be that un-self aware?
NJgasmfan, Haha! An ice pack indeed! She’s lucky NeNe or Lisa aren’t on the NYC version. She’d be cowering behind the couch on all fours with a nice pool of urine dribbling down and staining her Manolos.
Msjacqmills, I couldn’t agree with you more, and her only way out at this point would be to show some contrition. I will not be holding my breath.
OlderandWiser, where you been, honey? I make fun of EVERYBODY. Be fair. If you are going to call me cruel, stick up for the cross eyed, the leathery skinned, the sticks with beach balls for boobs and every other instance of snark I dole out on physical appearances, not just the meatier gals.
Olivia darling, I know! I better see LuLu all pissed and in Jill’s face demanding an apology. She too, needs to be fair. Having your rep trashed by a friend is okay but being called countless by someone you barely know is reprehensible? Hmmmm..
Skatt, WTF? Money well spent if you think about it. She must be getting shit loads of bad comments if that’s the case. And thanks a lot! I went over there and the dude makes my Shamu comment seem like kitty cuddles compared to what he says about women! Calling out a perfectly cute girl for having naturally occuring wrinkles on her ankles? HUH? Bizarre. It’s like he saw pretty pictures of girls in Playboy and expected us all to be airbrushed in real life.
Thiajok, ditto, ditto and ditto. And you are so right about the dog. If you don’t feed into their demands for attention, they usually calm down. Bethenny’s going to be a good mommy too, I bet. And, Boots! Dress! I think we have a new drinking game on our hands…
Valleygirl, I don’t think that I’ve ever been complimented on my bird flipping before. Even Mr. McSlore got a kick out of your comment!
Robinez, I didn’t really notice that. I did notice his comment about not wanting to inconvenience them. Who are they? CIA operatives or something? I’m pretty sure that it’s just that it would be hard to justify them coming all the way out to NYC without telling them the reason why. As for them going to PA? Good question. No idea.
Uglycutie, thanks for backing me up, and did she really? Is some proof reader at Bravo blogs messing with her or is Leather just not as much of an intellectual as she’d like us to believe?
Don’t drink beer and blog, people, case in point!
Realitee, hmmmmm. What could it be? Did LuLu boink someone particularly unsavoury? Some blood diamond warlord or something? It has got to be juicy, you just know it!
Prodigal Cheese, love, love, love your comments on Perez. You are spot on with the french horn playing wannabe observation. You are a great descriptive writer yourself. Sorry that you lost your friend. It’s happened to all of us and you are right, sometimes you just have to slash and burn. I had to do the same thing about a decade ago. Never looked back. Never will.
Hi Shanti! Sorry about your friend too! It just leaves room for more, no? That’s how I feel. LuLu would be better off with Sonja anyway. They could be each other’s wingmen! Can you imagine? I’m going to be in Sag Harbor this summer. I’m going to steer clear of the cougar prowl joints, that’s for sure, and I’m not letting any of them near Mr. McSlore!
Hi, NotwithoutmyTV. Don’t worry about me. I’ve got plenty of valium and Pinot Noir. And when that’s gone, I can always pick the lock at the pharmacy.
And hey, where is everyone’s avatar? I want to see you people! Or your favorite facsimiles, or a picture of Maru, or Linus, or something. Pretty please?
What?- Those socks are for sopping up the spooge, My Darling! Really. It’s in Chapter Five, right under advice on the proper time to ask your fuck buddy for cab fare.
Smithy, I sure hope so. I’ll see if I can find her some new ones at Goodwill this weekend. I’m pretty sure they don’t carry Gucci though. Bummer. She’ll have to smell like poop!
Okay, that was goofy. I guess my comment was too long because it’s not in the right oorder. Anyway, Hi to Last Call and Casey. Isn’t it funny how all the signs were there but we always took Jill’s side? Now that we know that Ramona isn’t the devil and Silex are actually pretty cool, Jill isn’t looking so hot. She spun her web and cast them in a shitty light from the beginning and we’re only now realising it. It makes you wonder how much other bull we’re being fed, just like NotwithoutmyTV said. Oh well, I’m not going to worry about it. I’m having too much fun!
Twunty,
re: the guy that runs TheDirty.com – curious person that I am, I googled him and he’s a piece of work. He’s the guy that just married Lorenzo Lamazes’ daughter after knowing her for about a week. And yeah, that site is just kind of gross.
I’m reading the recap, enjoying the Jill bashing immensely, when suddenly I realize that Jill’s voice is in the air somewhere. I turn around and she and her walking corpse of a mother are on The Early Show pushing that stupid book. GAAAAH WHERE’S THE REMOTE??? I just can’t deal with this level of fuckery so early in the morning.
Personally, I didn’t like Alex delivering “the message” in that way, but I like your reasoning, Twunty. It’s just that I have grown to really like Alex (and Simon) and I don’t want to see her turn into a shit-starting attention whore as a result of all the figurative high fives she’s been given for this incident. (In other words, I don’t want her to become another Jill haha.) In any event, it doesn’t matter because A) it’s Jill and she had it coming and B) Alex has always been so even-keeled and level-headed in every situation, even when these bitches were trying to tear her to shreds, that she has definitely earned a free pass or 2.
What?! How did he manage that? Did he roofie her?
I was referring to that Dirty guy, and holy heck Here4Beer. Thanks for the warning.
And I get what you are saying about Alex, but I think she’s a good witch. She just got justifiably mad.
Lord have mercy – Shill & Joan Crawford’s corpse are on Wendy Williams show today too!
Beer – ice ice baby, word. I’d add a picture or avi, but don’t know how to do it.
Shanti, are you telling me that Charlie McCarthy is going to be on WW too? Poor Wendy, I hope she has some Oust or incense lying around set. I’d hate to imagine the terrible stench from all that embalming fluid.
Twunty,
Thanks for another great recap! Jill’s faces and obvious annoyance when the Cuntess and Ms Morgan were talking when they should be paying attention to her? HILARIOUS!!!
I do think that she’s in the midst of a rude awakening right now – I can’t remember who made this point earlier in the comments, but Jill reall is so used to being one of the most well-liked women on this show; I’m sure it’s never occurred to her that we’d be seeing her the way we are this season. How much do you think she flips out every week while watching??? Poor Bawby.
Anyway, thanks again, Twunty. You never fail to crack me up while screaming HELL YEAH as I’m reading. Can’t wait to see what you thought of last night’s show!!
SWAK, PottyMouth
Wendy can always have her couch recovered in discounted ZAAAARRRRINNN fabrics. I’m sure generous Jill will give her a deal.
If there is such a thing as protocol on this show, then why did Jill carry that voicemail message all over NYC and played it for everyone within earshot? Why did she put Bethenny on speakerphone so that Lu Ann could enjoy the earful? Why is Jill’s dissing and insulting everyone in sight considered okay but anyone turning the tables on her toxic?
Poor delusional Jill. She actually believed she would be singled out and given a show of her own but Best Friend Bethenny beat her to it. Oh the horror! And somebody must pay so Bethenny was handed the title of “bad friend” while Jill wallowed in her own self pity.
My gut tells me the producers of Bravo, even though they have a ratings hit on their hands with this “feud”, despise Jill as much as the rest of us since they have failed to show her in a good light. Either that or she thinks she is so indispensible that she can say and do anything and the public will absolve her. This season she has gone much too far.
Somebody pull her plug. Please!
Another great recap, Twunty! I haven’t watched last night’s episode yet, but I’m looking forward to part 2 of the Alex/Jill confrontation. Good for Alex for standing up for herself after how Jill has treated her (like dog poo) since this show started. I’m sure while filming that Jill never thought the public would be siding with Alex and Ramona this year – I’m glad the editors are finally exposing how vile she really is.
I’m watching last night’s show when I get home from work – I’ll be sure to pick up some wine for the Boots! Dress! drinking game.
I saw the promo for the gruesome trio on the Early Show just as I was going out the door, so I recorded it to torture myself with later….
Oh, dear, Twunty, you have GOT to read the blog Kelly posted today.
She actually says her life is full of lollipops and unicorns. I am speechless!
Thanks, Wasabi. Why the hell did I just read that? Who are all these people that ask her how she accomplished so much at a young age, leading her to all those lolipops she’s sucking down and those unicorns she rides out in The Hamptons? Oh, I forgot. I shouldn’t question any of it. She’s the ONLY AUTHENTIC PERSON IN THE ENTIRE HISTORY OF THE UNIVERSE AND SHE’S SO UH-MAZ-ING THAT THE BIG BANG IS LIKE A HICCUP COMPARED TO THE SEISMIC SHIFT OF THE FABULOSITY OF EVERY ROOM SHE ENTERS. There. I think I did her justice.
Oh shit, you guys. I just read that Miss B went into labor early. Isn’t she due in JUNE?! Scary…let me know if anyof you hear anything please.
Don’t tell me you get Google alerts on Bethenny too- teasing. I just read that also. Developing story….
Oh God, no! But I do have spies everywhere, mostly you guys!
And PottyMouth, excuse me for being a birdbrain for not knowing this but is that you in your avatar? I can’t read what the undies say and I don’t normally stare at lady’s crotches.
Oh Twunty, bless you for even considering that. If I looked that good I would have left the head on! It’s actually a picture from one of my recaps – the panties say Hugh Jackman on them (it’s sort of running joke/thing I have going there). I’m still looking for a permanent picture for my avatar. Maybe one from my youngers days.
Oh, I just assumed they said SWAK on them, which totally takes me back. I had a ton of red lip shaped stickers with that abbreviation, and I used to put them on everything, including my book covers and Dynamite magazines. Jeebus, I’m old!
Betheny’s water broke at 12:46 am.
Awwww, she’s going to be a mommy for Mother’s Day!!!
Scary for her to be going in so early–hope everything is okay.
Oh. My. Gawd. Twunty, you are so fucking brilliant!!! How could I have so completely miss that???? One of those stickers is THE PERFECT avatar for me!!!! I heart you.
Regarding Miss B – does anyone know what her actual due date is supposed to be?? I REALLY hope everything is okay. Keeping my fingers and toes crossed for her.
SWAK!
Hi Twunty, this recap’s got some comments! Jill and Luann’s asshole ways have really got people talking.
And I think I speak for 90 percent of the Bravo audience when I say thanks so much for flipping those two off for me.
I have to say I feel a little manipulated (by Bravo perhaps?) into first liking Jill back in the days and now despising her (Luann has always been universally disliked so no problem there) but keep up the good work!
Now I just need to see her fall on her ass, and ruin a $6,000 freebie outfit (and a tray of free cupcakes and lambchops) while she’s at it. Maybe shit her pants on camera whiles she’s falling to the ground.
Why IS Bethenny’s condo so boring and bland? Gray, beige, and white. Really? It looks like a pre-furnished short-term corporate rental unit. She has such a strong personality I thought it would be reflected a little in her living space. Weird.
~FloO
Twunty, I love your recaps. I haven’t commented before but I do read them all. I ran across this great website called, I hate Jill Zarin. It is hilarious and the writer, LynnNChicago is great. She even has comments from A. Chandler, who did the Amazon review of Jill’s book. After her negative review of the book, Jill wrote a really nasty comment about her, including being anti-semitic. Lynn also has people that know Jill writing comments and giving her information. http://hubpages.com/profile/LynnNChicago Or just do a LynnNChicago search.
this is a test…..
Yay, PottyMouth, I love it! I want it to be a little bigger though, like everything else in my life. Except Mr. mcSlore. He’s perfect.
I will let you know if I have any success in my SWAK sticker search, but what you’ve done is probably better anyway.
According to her FB anti-fans, Jill announced the birth of Beth’s baby boy on her FB page before the Frankel-Hoppy family could. Jill states that Bethenny had a baby boy and that she wishes Bethenny and Jason all the best.
Bitch. People are chapping her ass good, too.
You are joking, right? You are yanking my chain. Oh no she di’int! I’m going to need to play the Dress! Boots! drinking game with Thiajok, Allycatt and all the rest of you now in order to deal with that level of insanity. What does Jill have, Bethenny’s ob-gyn on Google alert, too? What a mess of a human being.
Yep, it is right there on her Facebook page. The shrew managed to make the announcement to the world before Jason and Bethenny had the change to do so. Typical Jill. Hogging the spotlight and being first with the “news”. Talk about “bursting the bubble” before the parents have the opportunity to share it with us.
I would love to see a compilation of all the essays written about this series by Twunty, along with the snark comments that follow, to be put into a book form and sent to Ms Zarin in time for the reunion show. If this site does not knock her off her own pedestal than nothing will.
She tweeted it, too, but erased it shortly thereafter. (Yes, I follow these crazy bitches.)
Great recap, Twunty! Love ya~!
I am going to have to agree with the comment made about the fat the people. I will admit that perhaps I am more sensitive to those comments- not because I am fat, more so because for my public health project I am working with obese people- but because it seems that fat prejudice is just as damaging as any other type of prejudice. Although we all do come here to read snark and to read entire recaps full of vitriol towards these housewives, so it is hard to say what is good funny and what is wrong funny. Twunty I don’t want you to feel as if I am attacking you. I guess I just felt like what was said about the psychic was over the top. But then I suppose making fun of another woman’s slutty ways is over the top as well, but when I read that I laugh out loud. When I think about I can think of this one time and another example of when you made fun a person’s weight. And with the other recap a few of us pointed out that they woman wasn’t all that fat and you stopped being snarky about her weight. So there I stand corrected. Sorry I guess sometimes it helps to talk things out. Sorry continue with what you do best- writing funny as hell recaps and I will continue doing what I do best- shutting up and reading.
Hey, reckless. It’s okay. You have every right to be sensitive about it, just as I have every right not to be. If you don’t find it funny, skip that part. Let me explain why-
I have endured an entire childhood of snark on MY weight, not for being fat but for being skinny. I have had teachers ask me point blank if I was anorexic and had kids tell me I looked like a concentration camp victim while parents said nothing. These same parents would jump down the throat of anyone who dared point a finger at their child’s chubbiness. I learned to live with it and threw the barbs right back at them. Don’t dish it out if you can’t take it- that sort of thing. I could ramble on about the tragedy of obesity in our times but that is more suited to a different medium. This is a recap. I make jokes. I make my own rules as to what is off-limits in my writing, I appreciate all your comments, and I would never dare tell any of you what you shouldn’t be allowed to say or write. PLEASE give me the same respect. I will say in warning that don’t expect me to change any time soon. You guys want me to be funny, right? I can’t do that if I’m always second guessing myself. It’s pretty much impossible.
And I feel you if you are struggling with your weight. It sucks. Yeah, it would be great if we could all be perfectly normal and healthy but sadly, that is not how we’re made. The flip side is that differences make us interesting and fat/skinny can be pretty damn funny, to ME anyway. I just don’t know if that is going to change.
So, point taken. I’m sorry if I offended anybody but I’m pretty sure it’s going to happen again. I have thick skin and I can take it, just don’t call me discriminatory because I’m not, and I’m sick of the double standard that exists in this society when it comes to weight. I’d say that I will stop when people stop telling me to eat a sandwich or snicker when I don’t eat everything on my plate, but I probably won’t. And that’s enough of that. And yes, when I stand behind a telephone pole or a small-ish tree, you cannot see me. We did an entire photographic series on this phenomena when I was in college, entitled ‘If Twunty falls in a forest and no one is there, does she make a sound?’ See? Laughing about stuff is so much better, especially when it isn’t malicious, and believe it or not, I’m not.
Twunty et al: YES, she did! The damned fool! And she didn’t remove it from her FB page either, like TheVoiceOfReason said she did with Twitter.
I highly recommend you all go read the posts scolding or downright vilifying her for doing so. Hurry, hie! She’ll have her clean-up staff remove the posts soon.
No news on Perez or TMZ, so it must not be true! I made sure not to eat anything prior to viewing the fat french-horn player’s site. (Thanks for that one Cheez!) I’m hoping this is one of those PR tricks to throw the tabloids, bloggers & JAPS, off the scent.
wow. WOW. WOoooOW!!! That boggles my mind, thiajok. So let me get this right- she is paying someone an actual salary to delete all the negative comments she is receiving on Facebook, and the hate is so relentless that none of the commentors seem the least bit deterred? That is pushing it, no? That is some scary BinLaden level of hate, I’m not sure that I can relate to it. I’d be frightened for my personal safety, no lie.
Can you imagine? I know it’s hard and it’s not like they’re suede Gucci boots or anything, but try to put yourself in her shoes for a minute. After you are done throwing up from Ginger’s farts, how would you even be able to get out of bed in the morning? How are people not throwing rotten vegetables at her in the streets?
The simple fact that she is still able to make appearance after appearance as if nothing were happening speaks volumes about her unmatched ability to ratchet up her own denial in direct proprtion to all the hate. It’a practically an art form. I am literally in awe.
I’m trying to remember where I read that about her hiring people to clean up the FB fan page, but I can’t remember right now. Possibly on the Jill Zarin Needs a Hobby FB fan page.
I have a suggestion for the Cuntess to have two theme songs: “Purple Haze” for when she’s wearing the purple dress and “These Boots Are Made For Walking” when she’s wearing the boots. If she has both on at the same time, maybe just a little light-hearted flute solo such as Puck might play.
Gosh, I hope no one goes gunning for Jill–I hate her and thinks she’s an asshole, but geez! Yet there are some real crazies in the world.
Thiajok & Twunty, the story of Jill’s alleged negative comment clean-up staff was on thedirty.com. That guy is right up there, or should I say down there, with P.H.
Thanks, Shantigal. I know I should cite sources for the gossip or facts, but Jill is my favorite housewife to hate, so I’m always glad to pass on the “allegedly’s” as well.
Definitely I saw with my own eyes that Jill had posted about the Hoppy baby last night on her FB account. It has hit gossip-site sources today that she had a baby boy 6 lbs. and some odd oz., but the Frankel-Hoppy’s still haven’t officially announced it yet.
last week or the week before I posted if anyone else thought Sonja looked familiar. Now after seeing jennifer, the “new” new housewife, I know they were on a show together about planning a party. Jennifer was “planning” it for Sonja’s daughter. Although it was planning the way she is planning jill’s — nodding yes to all the ideas and then running the errands. I love alex this year. Wasn’t a fan in the past, but think I may have a bit of a girl crush on her now, particularly after the most recent episode which we won’t get into until that recap is posted.
As a former “toothpick leg” now fatty, not at all insulted by the recap. And my weight really is a glandular issue (adrenal gland not working due to so much prednisone) But I’m back to exercising and have lost 25 of the 50 lbs. So, I have no patience for fat people who get upset because I have 3 kids, almost died in 2007 wasn’t allowed to even bend over until 2009 or lift anything over 10lbs and got clearance to exercise last spring. So I run at 9pm every night because that is the only time I can fit it in. But I do it. Since I’m off topic anyway, and this thread is read by women who aren’t timid about speaking up and will help me get the word out, I got sick due to a parasite that ate the cornea in my eye and was potentially terminal as it eats its way through and can get into your brain. Anybody who read this who wears contact lenses or knows someone who does, should take the time to google acanthamoeba keratitis. Its a water/soil based parasite and those who wear contact lenses are at a high risk of it getting in your eyes. Thanks for letting me swerve off topic, would never want anyone to ever have to go through what I did, 7 surgeries, a month in the ICU in a hospital 2 hours away, injections in the eye, using pool chemicals as eyedrops to try and kill the parasite, loss of vision, and I’ll eventually have to have the eye removed.
LAWD!!! chemgal, that sounds awful! I do understand Twunty when she says that some forms of teasing are acceptable by society and other aren’t. I started growing HUGE breasts early on and everybody commented on them (even adults!) and teased the livng hell outta me. I was petite thing and this was before those young boys could really sppreciate them. No one seemed to think it was a big deal that my feelings were hurt and I started wearing big shirts. I also developed a sense of humor as a means of defense. I’d crack jokes to hide the fact that I was hurt. But it worked itself out when I was older and I got to love my girls. I always wore great support and to this day they look great. As for Jill announcing Miss B’s baby’s birth…what a BITCH!!! I hope she gets hers. Seriously, I have no sympathy for any bad things that happen to this ridiculous woman. Her permanent scowl gets on my nerves and I hope she trips and falls on her face and breaks all her teefs.
Oh crap, chemgal. That sucks. I just wanted to offer my support if you need anything but you sound like a pretty caapable gal, so good luck with your health. I hope you don’t lose your eye anytime soon. The mere thought of it scares the shit out of me! I don’t know how you are coping but I want to wish you the best of luck. Stay strong, sister.
And uglycutie, I didn’t even get tits until long after boys noticed that mine were roughly the size of chickpeas. Now I’m an unaltered D cup. I never had kids but they kept on growing, and I point this fact out as much as I can when I hear any young girls say that they want implants because their B cup is too small. Wait a while, they might grow!
Obviously, I have nothing to do this weekend but hang out on FB. Soooo, just found out (from Jill’s fan page filled with non-fans) that Bethenny had a little girl named Bryn. Beth’s fans are now taunting Jill for getting the sex wrong, thus proving she’s not in the actual loop and, therefore, had no business in announcing the birth.
Okay, I’m done. I’m starting creep myself out.
Geez, this is getting ridiculous. It’s like Jill’s life has turned into one long story arc on a telenova and all this insane drama makes me feel like we’re all getting Punk’d. It’s so sad and desperate. You know what, though? I bet Jill blames the mistaken sex of the baby on the same employee that she has deleting the bad comments. In 3….2….
Oh no. Now I need to get a hobby, and here’s why. The thought crossed my mind that maybe Bethenny or someone with an axe to grind leaked false info to Jill to see if she’d leak it somehow herself. She did and now she looks like a fool again. I’m a jaded old bitch now. Thanks, Miss Andy!
I thought the same thing, even imagining Ramona or Alex being involved in the plot.
Why the hate by Jill toward Bethenny? Follow me here:
Jill actually considered herself the “break out star” of this series. However, her good friend Bethenny eclipsed her and was offered her own series. I think Jill had it in her empty head for awhile that she could make a go of a show of her own by featuring Gloria, the Sage of Florida, imbued with words of wisdom and advice straight out of Dear Abby to haul in the senior citizens, while sister Lisa, the lawyer and talk show host of CT, would be featured allowing Jill to hand out her words of advice to the world. Bobby would be seen as the Dean of Fabrics which would enhance the sales, and Gay Brad would be her Kelly Ripa sidekick who accompanies her on her busy rounds of shopping, lunching, and snarling. For the animal lovers, just throw in that nasty little rat dog and she was assured of capturing the franchise on her own.
But fate stepped in, nominated Bethenny for the role, and we were off to the races. How best to paint Bethenny as the villain of the piece while hiding her own jealousy behind her moral indignation over Bethenny’s apparent “ungratefulness” to Jill even though Bethenny was out there working to build contacts for her brand and business. This, I believe, is the actual genesis for this horror show the past few seasons and led to us viewing Jill’s psychopathy as a result.
The best I can say is that we may have been spared having to listen to Gloria prattle on about all the “toxicity” in her life like how the driver failed to get closer to the curb when picking her up for the next Botox shot.
And yes, I too admit to getting a little nuts about these people when I find myself analyzing this stuff.
Bravo, Olivia!!!!
Olivia. Are you really her gay husband Brad? Did you orchestrate this whole thing? When is your book coming out, the one exposing all the gory Zarin details? What you said is so crazy, mostly because it’s probably all true!
Jill has removed the “birth announcement” from her FB page, along with the over 400 comments. Too bad the hoopla she caused was already reported on Access Hollywood. Google News Bethenny Frankel and it’s in the top five listings.
Okay, she’s added a new update blaming her daughter Ally for scooping it from Twitter.
Oh my God, honey. You are my new PA. Not only do you keep me up to date without my having to use a psychic or Google alerts, you don’t charge me a penny! You rock!
Twunty, thinking you are a psychic for pegging Jill as VILE earlier in the season before we even saw what a truly disgusting person she continued to become. I watch all the RHs and there are unlikeable women on each and I always thought no forehead Teresa was my least favorite, but now Jill wears that crown. Although, Teresa’s daughter’s “I don’t wanna marry a jewish person” put her in the running.
oh and thanks for the words of encouragement. When ever anyone asks if I need anything or what they can do, I tell them to let anyone they know who wears contacts to educate themselves AND to consider becoming an organ donor. Not nearly enough corneas, tissue or organs available.
Twunty, heavens no! Just a “fan” of these “reality” shows and am now as experienced as anybody in sniffing out the phoniness they send our way by labeling the neuroses as “entertainment”. Just chalk me up to just a cynical witchface who has had it with manufactured “stars” who act like total fools just to get a few minutes of “fame”.
Jon and Kate, Kendra, the Kardashians, most of the Housewives, to name a few who have managed to glom on to the media hype and begin to believe their own press.
Not making excuses for myself since I am as obsessed and consumed as much as anybody by this exposure and as I pointed out, I am now taking on the role of Dr. Phil when it comes to analyzing this bunch.
Plastic people who have money to burn, time to waste, and cleavage to expose all for the sake of celebrity. It is when they actually begin to shed any sense of proportion or decency that it becomes hilarious. Your column, that I look forward to each week, brings it all home. Love it, love it, love it!
PS: I hear that Gay Husband Brad may have a lot of beans to spill if given the opportunity.
I too got caught up in Zarin-gate and ashamedly Googled her. Funny enough, a clip of her on Wendy Williams came up and hmmmm … lovely Ms. Jill Zarin appeared on national TV WITHOUT HER WEDDING RING!! Sounds like maybe Bawby wised up. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OKzmxGrh7Jo
oh, and I’m totally stealing “Gloria, the sage of Florida,” from you. Pure genius. Now I have to get back to screen grabbing while watching hockey.
Oh, fancy pants- you know how these girls share! Maybe she took the ring off to wash the lube off her hands and left it on the window sill above the sink at Max’s apartment. Stranger things have happened, ya know.
LOL! Poor Max–all he wants is a walk-on shot on a REAL show and some nice, settled-down gay guy to adopt babies with–but he simply can’t turn down the cash when the RHONYC call.
Twunty, just consider me your own personal Google Alert. Reach out, touch faith.
OMG – This is awesome!! I’m dying laughing at the comments!!
Jill is rotten, I can’t believe she basically “outed” someone else’s childbirth, what a hag. The great thing about it though is that Bethany is so high on cloud nine right now, she probably won’t even care that much. Plus, a preemie at only around 4 pounds is going to require ALL of her headspace for awhile. That’s pretty tiny, even for a newborn.
It’s kind of fascinating watch Jill self-destruct; and of course it’s all about the “editing”. If I were Jill, I would be terrified about the ultimate impact this would have on my marriage. Bawby has seemed pretty sympathetic toward Bethany, and once he starts thinking of Bethany as being victimized by his wife I think it will be really hard for her to change his perception of her as a victimizer. Any pretty Zarin Fabric office girls who have an eye for the boss and a nice cush life, now have a blueprint to his heart and ego – bad move Jill. I know it sounds sexist, but it happens all the time – lots of second wives got their start in the office.
Twunty – I used to be thin, did all kinds of unhealthy things to keep it that way. Now, not so thin but loads healthier. I don’t find anything you write offensive, the world isn’t made of daisies and rainbow-colored ponies. If you shovel food into your mouth and sit on your ass, you probably aren’t going to be sporting leggings this season. Big deal. Someone might say you’re fat – ummm, you ARE FAT. Why is stating the obvious considered offensive? WTF?
Twunty, thanks for the shout on PH, LOL. Now THERE’S a FATASS motherf*cker!!! He probably eats his feelings, while shitting all over everyone else’s… it has a certain symbiosis, doesn’t it?
And chemgal – kudos to you for being such an amazingly strong and positive woman. I wish you all the best in your recovery. Thank you for sharing, I’m a contact lens wearer and sometimes get lazy about replacing them when I should. I am taking note, and will definitely pass along that information. Take care of yourself! I selfishly want to enjoy your witty comments for a long, long time!
Do you think we will reach 100 comments??
Some other blogs are questioning how well Jill will do on the Reunion Show when they all gather to scream at one another. She has to answer for her behavior with Bethenny and her calling an Amazon reviewer an “anti Semite” while beating back the reports that she filled the comment sections under a pseudonom praising that awful book.
I expect she will more than likely drag out Gloria, with a chin strap in place holding up the latest facelift, to dangle off the end of the couch to deliver a lecture on “friendship” while Jill struggles to maintain her composure as Bobby hands her the Kleenex and Lu Ann rubs her back.
Andy Cohen better be “sloshed” before the program starts rather than during since this is going to be a ratings breaker for Bravo. Meanwhile, the camera may shift to the audience who will be composed of viewers waving pitchforks and torches straight out of the crowd scene in Frankenstein.
Gloria will not be happy.
I think it has everything to do with editing concerning Jill.
I think she was a backstabbing bitch all along;they just needed someone to play the “nice one” in last seasons.
She has been talking out of both side’s of her face for a long time but now they are showing it and editing it in the worse possible light.She has apparently pissed off someone because they truly are showing her with absoulutely no redeeming value.Normaly I see at least an attempt from the show to make them look at least human with some vulnerability so we can connect as an audience with them on some level.I think we are seeing the real Jill now and it seems as though the folks at Bravo have no qualms about showing her to us as she really is.
TC,Robin
Absolutely. Look how she behaved when she found herself seated in the second row of a fashion show. She stalked off like some diva who felt entitled to more. My guess is that she has behaved the same way with the crew and producers of Bravo and they struck back. So much stuff hits the editing floor yet showcasing the dog poo episode was really getting even with someone who acts as cavalierly as she.
Watching her in action over the last few seasons illustrates how often she talks over, interrupts, does not listen, makes fun of, and dismisses her castmates. So self involved that when interviewed by Wendy Williams recently and asked who should be written off the show, she said Alex. This tells me that she is very satisfied with her own performance and is totally unaware that at least Alex offers a sense of balance to the proceedings and the question is why Jill feels it necessary to pick and choose who goes and who stays.
I can’t wait for the reunion show, and I hope Andy goes after Jill the way he went after Slade Smiley from RHOTOC. He called Slade out on every discrepancy and lie he tried to spin – it was great.
I kind of agree about the editing of Good Jill vs Bad Jill, but I also think Jill was initially playing nice because she was in uncharted territory. She reminds me of my (above referenced) former friend – I think it’s a personality type.
Women who befriend other women who they think are a little “less” fortunate, or established. Most interactions take place on their territory – you’re always at their home, party, event, etc. It’s a control issue, and also because they aren’t interested in your life beyond what they get in Narcissistic feed.
They offer unlimited sympathy and advice on failed relationships, because they are so incredibly happy in theirs, right? No, they like it when you’re single because you are always available for their entertainment. And, their relationships are usually all surface, and pretty seriously lacking in some fundamental way (that’s why they have so much time for their girlfriends).
When you start to surpass them in any significant way, they start to subtly gauge how open other friends are to hearing negative things about you – and there’s always some fuckweasel willing to participate. Then they start to discredit you on a broader scale so if you ever spill any of their dirt no one will believe you.
I think the producers are capturing Jill in a full-on cycle of Narcissism; like with my former friend (and maybe shantigal’s and Twunty’s too) they ultimately always unravel. In real life it can take years because you make excuses, you hesitate to end a long relationship, it’s not as intense because it plays out over a long time…. But Jill hit the trifecta of Narcissism and it accelerated it. She had instant fame, she became a show favorite, and she gained access to media parasites who fed into her inflated sense of who she was.
Little unmarried, lovelorn and childless Bethany didn’t just surpass Jill – she stopped being Jill’s rose-tinted mirror. Jill disintegrated when Bethany failed to feed her sense of entitlement, she became the enemy because not only did she stop reflecting Jill’s needs she saw that the relationship would never be reciprocal or on equal footing.
Even Vicki from RHOTOC, for all her self-centeredness, is not a Narcissist. She is actually a pretty good friend and capable of admitting wrongdoing, or putting petty issues aside to help a friend who is clearly in pain and need. And no strings seem to be attached to that. She raised good kids, who understand the consequences of their actions and will probably succeed at what they do because she sets a good example, and she always put them at the top of her list of priorities. Jill isn’t crazy in a fun way, she’s crazy in an ugly, sick way – and even with all the negative things being said about her she still can’t control her impulse to be destructive and undermining toward Bethany.
I think editing is kind of like garbage in – garbage out, and I think Jill’s garbage is especially rotten this season. In addition to being a Narcissistic bitch, I also think she’s a pathological liar.
Oh, and if Gloria the Sage of Florida gets one more nip and tuck – I predict she will be sporting a merkin-stye goatee. I pray that happens…
Okay – I’ll shut up now.
Regarding Jills birth announcement… She screwed up. I think it’s tacky to tell everyone that it was Allys fault. Whether Ally did tell her this or not, (and she could be a convenient scapegoat ), Jill still posted it with no confirmation. I think most mothers would take the heat rather than pulling their daughter into this mess. That’s pretty desperate in my opinion.
I agree JKW – completely despicable of Jill to blame Ally for the incorrect birth announcement. Even if it is true, what mother would do that? Is there no limit to what this woman will do to make herself look better? She is so gross.
Like everyone else, I am really looking forward to the reunion show – they are going to need an extra hour just to deal with all the Jill issues. Let’s hope Miss Andy finds his balls and doesn’t let her off the hook too easy.
Good morning, chickies. I have to tell you what a smart and incisive group you all are. I am really proud of all my Gasmii. One thing, though. Prodigal Cheese- you are scaring me. Unintentionally, of course but when I read your description of Shill, it was if you were describing someone very close to Mr. McSlore. Now I’m worried, as I should be.
I would like to know more about this disorder. Does anyone have any suggestions, any books I could read?
Thanks, girls (and guys)
Oh, and I agree with JKW and Alleycatt on how despicable it was to blame Ally. She did tack a ‘sowwy’ at the end of her post, what a shock! And how awesome would it be if Lynn from Chicago got to be Miss Andy’s sidekick at the reunion? I would spontaneously combust and an explosion of lollipops and unicorns would fly out of my butt!
I think Jill will walk out of the reunion show–period. She can dish it out, but she can’t take it. Even last week’s blog isn’t a blog, but an interview which skirts the issues from that week’s show.
I find myself wanting to go back and watch the first two seasons now–see, it occurs to me that maybe the reason I didn’t like Alex and Simon or Ramona was because I was seeing them through Jill-Filter. Were the McCord-Van Kempen’s really social climbers with undisciplined kids? Was Mario really taunting Jill or just trying to have a friendly tennis game? Was Ramona really picking on Jill or just finally blowing after being put down so much? I do remember Bethenny was always cooking at someone’s house, so shouldn’t that have been a payback to the other women for whatever food she ate from them? I’m starting to suspect Jill’s point-of-view dominated Seasons 1 & 2.
When I saw the birth announcement on her FB page Friday night, even though this is only a t.v. show and I don’t know any of them personally, I still wanted to reach throw the screen with an eraser because I knew she was trying to beat someone to the punch–actually, my theory is that she was trying to beat Ramona or Alex to the punch. Bethenny had twittered from the hospital that her water had broke and she was at the hospital. Ramona, on her way to South Africa, FB’d that Bethenny had just called her to say her water had broke. Alex, in Florida with Simon for her book, said nothing. So, my theory is that Jill had what she thought were reliable spies and just wanted to get the info out before Alex or Ramona, not even thinking in her tunnel-vision selfishness, that she was also announcing the birth before Beth and Jason.
I suspect that she was set-up, however, and it tasted so sweet! LOL.
Hey kids, go over to Jill’s facebook and read her last entry. Is that a promise? Or is she making excuses for not showing up to the reunion that they’ll be filming any day now?
There is no way Bravo and Miss Andy would let Jill get away with missing the reunion show – think of the ratings! They must have the housewives contractually bound to do the reunions. I don’t remember one where someone was a no show.
And Miss Andy is going to need some bigger couches with 7 housewives (8 if you count Simon)!
Oops – 9 housewives if you count Simon.
Yeah, you’re probably right. Even if you hate her, you have to admit that the reunion won’t be anywhere near as good without Jill. Then it would just be a giant LuLu hate-a-thon and nobody wants that.
Lord, my favorite comment thus far from the birth announcement redux comments section is this: “The town crier strikes again!” LOL. 495 comments as of just now when I checked on it.
Jill is going into hibernation, eh? There might be a god after all.
I’m up for a LuLu hate-a-thon, but I’d rather have a Jill AND LuAnn hate-a-thon.
All the posters interested in the psychology of Jill’s behavior should read the book “In Sheep’s Clothing – Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People” by George K. Simon, Jr., Ph.D. This book helped me get out of an abusive 30+ yr. marriage.
Dr. Simon says that people like Jill Z. don’t suffer from a lack of self esteem, but are covertly aggressive (not passive aggressive), i.e. fighting and they utilize an array of manipulative behaviors in order to “win” and stay on top. These manipulative tactics can include: minimization (of any harm they have done), lying (lying by omission), denial (denying your perception), selective inattention (or selective attention), rationalization, diversion, evasion, covert intimidation, guilt-tripping, shaming, playing the victim role (turning the table), vilifying the victim, playing the servant role (look what I’ve done for you), seduction (being charming), projecting the blame, feigning innocence, feigning confusion (“I don’t have my notes”), and when necessary brandishing anger.
Look familiar? I think we can recognize most of these tactics in Jill’s behavior. I especially hate the way JKL are always ganging up on Alex. They behave like high school bullies. Anyway, excellent book – saved my life. There is also a web site with more info for any of you interested in learning more. I realize that this sounds like a commercial for this book, but it truly allowed me to see through my ex’s manipulative behavior and finally free myself from a very toxic and unhealthy relationship.
Looks as if Miss Jill is taking herself offline for awhile. But the comments are a hoot! “We love you, Jill!” OMG!
Love her for what? Being totally nasty, tearing down her “friends”, bitching about everyone and everything, being a two faced lying witch?
What’s to “love” here? This lady has as much loyalty as Rachel Uchitel and the “fans” still “love” her psycho behavior? Give me a break!
There must be a whole lot more “Jill’s” out there who emulate her awful behavior to be able to say they are loyal to someone who carries a sword wherever she goes.
Hi Twunty, RE: Post #93
I have someone close to me with BPD/NPD so I can be a little obsessive about it when I watch shows like this, I’m not trying to be an expert or anything I’m just hyper-aware of it when I think it’s part of the equation. Because I grew up with someone like that, I tended to replicate the dynamic in some of my other relationships – so when I cut off my former BFF, it was about more than just her behavior, it was about my decision to only have healthy and equal relationships with the people in my life.
I don’t know anything about you and Mr. McSlore, although you sound very happy and content in your marriage when you write about it. You always talk about him in a way that shows your obvious love and affection for him. It’s one of the many things I connect with in your writing, and it’s very refreshing to hear from someone who genuinely appreciates what they have in life.
All I can say is if someone is setting off your warning bells for any reason, you shouldn’t question it. I learned the hard way not to second-guess my instincts and intuitions – I no longer need PROOF that something is wrong; if it doesn’t feel right then it ISN’T. So far, my intuition is pretty much 100%. There a few books I could recommend if you really are concerned – Stop Walking on Eggshells, by Randi Kruger covers the spectrum of Borderline Personality Disorders, including Narcissism. Its a layman’s guide to identifying and dealing with BPD/NPD and pretty much the benchmark book on it. Barnes and Noble should have it stocked in the Self Help/Psych section. But if you want to explore it a little more first, and see how your experiences stack up against other people’s I highly recommend http://bpdcentral.com. It’s a fantastic resource, and there are professional mental health advisors administrating the boards so it’s a very serious and sensitively run community. People on the boards there have seen it/experienced it all in EVERY manifestation – its worth checking out, IMO.
Also, Gavin DeBecker’s The Gift of Fear was a real eye-opener for me. He essentially talks about how we have been trained to ignore our instincts and intuitions out of a sense of politeness – and how not recognizing emotional and physiological triggers can endanger us psychologically and sometimes physically. You don’t need a reason to dislike someone or something, if they set you off there’s a reason for it and you have the right to exercise self-preservation and distance in your own best interest.
I hope that helps, and if there’s anything I can do to help please let me know. I’m sorry you have something like this in your life Twunty, you are a smart, funny and sensitive woman and it saddens me to think someone out there would ever try to compromise that. I wish you the best, and hope this helps a little.
Sorry for another long-winded post, I should change my name to GASBAG.
I love how Jill announced that she is taking a break from FB this morning but is already back on with an update that she would be at Planet Hollywood on her book tour this afternoon and that Ally gave her the most wonderful Mother’s Day card, as if we are all going to now think that she is worthy of our admiration. She is addicted to fame and I doubt she will be able to get off FB for more than a day or so. Maybe she’ll need to announce when Bethany and baby leave the hospital, but of course, the info will be incorrect once again. I am more excited about this reunion show (when will it be airing?) than I should be; Twunty, if you could somehow live blog it, that would be AWESOME!!!!! Will Lu Lu wear the suede boots, the purple dress, the Navaho jewelry? I am sure she and Jill will sit on a couch (loveseat) together clutching hands and maybe even stroking one another. Miss Andy is going to need to set up an open bar to get through this one.
@Twunty: I totally do not think that you were being prejudice. I was just saying that as a way to explain why I am sensitive. Also most of time people notice something because they are looking for it. I also should have said that weight is last great prejudice- as you pointed out that skinny people get that too. My friend who is super tall and skinny is pretty much told the same thing too. My anatomy teacher actually confronted her about her having an eating disorder. I wasn’t all that offended by the end of the comment, so I suppose I should have just deleted it. More that I am offended at myself for just enjoying the crap out of watching the show and the reading the recaps. As afterwards I don’t always make me feel good for taking part in the shit the show is shoveling. Like you said the books are written for the mere fact of taking money out of viewer’s hands. These shows are the devil, but I can’t look away.
I used to be naturally underweight and no one ever thought twice about mentioning it (Not anymore! I got bubbies with age, too, ladies! Don’t really care for the bubbies, though, they’re annoyingly heavy). I was very self-conscious about it but I didn’t take the remarks personally. Everyone has an insecurity about themselves or on the behalf of a friend or family member, but it’s really not fair to expect the entire world to revolve around that. There is only so much political correctness to spread around until we all finally evolve into having telepathic powers.
Anything new on Zaringate? I’ve been offline a lot today.
There is a petition going around to get Jill booted off next year…
http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/jillzarin/
Just checking to see if I can post. Tried a couple of times this morning, but they never appeared. Too lazy to remember and retype everything. Carry on.
Thanks, Prodigal. I really need help in dealing with this person. We don’t socialise with them like we used to, but it would be great if I could be in their presence and not feel awful anymore. Big, big thanks.
Twunty, you lost me when you indicated that the discrimination experienced by a skinny person compares to that experienced by an overweight individual. Please tell me you don’t serious believe that! I love your snark and your recaps and want to believe you are more in touch than that. I know – if I don’t like what you say stop reading, but I’d prefer to share my viewpoints and keep reading, if that’s okay?!
Wow, this just gets better and better…. Totes agree with you all that Jill is a POS for scooping the baby news. Especially since she and B are not friends.
I think she will show up at the reunion, but will cry those crocodile tears of hers and try to make herself the victim.
This is old news now, but I still need to share… I recorded the 3 harpies on the Early Show, and watched it over the weekend. At one point they were talking about a part of the book that says no one should criticize your child except you, and how important it is to keep people from talking about your child’s behavior. Jill pipes up with “no one should ever talk about another person’s child. But if you do, you should apologize because we’re only human”. All I could think of was her talking about Silex’s spawn. Hmmmm, spin much?
Chemgal, my heart goes out to you. I had 2 corneal ulcers from contacts, and I thought they were bad. Your story is terrifying. I really feel for you, and I am already an organ donor, but thanks for the reminder.
Pagent kisses to you all!!
@Twunty & Prodigal: My mother and my brother both has these personalities dis-orders. borderline personality disorder with narcissistic tendency. Let me tell you that my life was constantly a circus with the insane acting as the ring leader and the trained monkey. I have some awesome Christmas stories. But anyway- I think that I watched a ton of these reality shows- well more so the real housewives show- because I know crazy and when I get a little homesick I like to watch it on my television.
It took my awhile to come to terms and acceptance with my childhood, so I did the self help book circuit and I have to give two thumbs up to the books recommended to you by Prodigal.
Another wonderful book that has helped me with my mother. Actually a book that has just helped me in general. You had said that it would be nice to be around them and not feel awful then this book might help too. The Four Agreements by Don Miquel Ruiz. One part of the front flap reads: Don’t take anything personally. Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality….
So sorry to turn this into the self help section of the comments. But my projection of reality is that I like to stuck my nose in places and attempt to offer help:)
@olderandwiser: I think whenever anyone experiences discrimination on any level is can be hurtful. Serious discrimination and the comments that go along with are very hard to not take personally and easy to internalize. Wondering what is wrong with yourself? Why would someone hate me because of who I am? Something that I can not change. Discrimination makes one feel powerless especially when someone’s prejudice of a person prevents them from doing something like get an apartment, shop at a store, receive proper medical care. I can’t begin to explain how frustrating it is for some one like me- a young, white woman, with tattoos to receive proper medical treatment because I have tattoos I am treated like a drug addict since I am young I am treated like a drug addict and I have countless doctors turn me away. Until I found one progressive doctor that believes everyone has the right to be treated correctly for pain regardless of what their external expression says about their inner character. While this may not be the same as other discrimination- for me in my life is has been huge because I have lost years of having a quality life because I was discriminated against. Discrimination may seem to have different levels of severity or importance, it is the same for the individual who has had that experience.
cheez & olderandwiser-whether you are therapists, counselors or not, you’re mine now. I will be seeing my former bff this week at an 8 hour charity golf tournament. Your book suggestion could not have come at a better time. I’ve been obsessing about it for weeks. Not at a charity event! Never at a charity event!
chemgal- I will never complain about my old lady bi-focals again. Bless you for the warning and wishes for the best recovery possible.
Thanks to all the cyber dicks out there providing scoopage on the red headed dragon. If I spend one more minute in front of this screen, I’ll be able to play the fat psychic next season. Scratch that, I DO have all of my teeth.
Okay everyone, have just been to Jill’s FB fan page under the status update about Ally totally causing Jill to post incorrect information and it seems that a lot of commenters think another commenter called Tree Lily is Jill. LOL. Surely she wouldn’t do that again, would she? It is suspicious though, because Tree Lily’s posts always end with love to Ginger or in some way mentions Ginger. I suspect Ally or one of Ally’s friends. There are over 600 comments, so unless you have time to scan them all it will take a while, so just look for Tree Lily.
Reckless Saturn – thank you for so beautifully sharing the hurt discrimination can cause. My daughter also has tatoos and has felt the same discrimination you have. I’m so sorry you had to deal with that. You sound like a lovely person and I appreciate your words very much.
FYI, all of Tree Lily’s posts are gone this morning. Interesting.
Am I too sad? LOL. You know, if Alex and/or Bethenny do leave the show, I hope the producers at Bravo understand that it would be too painful to watch Jill and LuAnn take over with their crap constantly. So though they are generating drama this season, I think one can actually go overboard to the point of becoming too obnoxious to watch. Get it, Miss Andy?
Oh no, dumb & dumber are going after Lebron! Unbelievable the media outlets that are willing to include these two nitwits in their “news” reports.
http://www.nydailynews.com/ny_local/2010/05/10/2010-05-10_housewives_desperate_to_get_king_james.html
Twunty, my love – 117 post and counting! You’re a SupaStar!!!! It is a true pleasure to sit at my computer, puppy cradled in the crook of my elbow (because he won’t sleep where he’s SUPPOSED to), and read a brilliant condemnation of all that is the RHONY. Jill is truly, absolutely VILE. And I love the reader comments! I also see some of us share an encounter with a narcissist. They are a scary breed, indeed. I met mine in my sophomore year of high school. I’ll call her C. Hmmm. I was a naive girl who firmly believed in loyalty in friendship, and was gullible as hell. She was a South Philly chick who thought she was as cool as hell. The first sign was when she (tragically) lost her brother to a heart attack. When I attempted to commiserate, as I had just lost my beloved grandfather, she snapped at me and said that losing her brother was MUCH worse. I was so hurt and offended, but I blamed myself for being so selfish. Later on, she agreed to get a few of us tickets to a huge concert. When we arrived we realized that we had tickets in a different section than she did! She bought herself a ticket in the second row! And she didn’t see anything odd about that. About 5 years later she decided to get married, to someone I’d never met. She used to pick me up and we would go and “look” for him as she thought he wasn’t where he said he was. And while we were in the car she spent an inordinate amount of time trashing her fiance ex-wife. Good times. When she got married she made me, her bridesmaid, in charge of the shower. What a horror. Absolutely NO help from her mother, or the other bridesmaids. They refused. Mind you, I had NO job. The reception was just as creepy. They broke up two months later because he was into cocaine – or something like that. Who knows if that’s true. The two final stories are a doozy. When I graduated college, I didn’t make it to the ceremony because my dad’s car broke down and I chose to sit with him and wait for a tow. My aunts and my mom went. C. had showed up afterward and my aunts had invited her out to dinner. All I wanted to do was lie down. Wouldn’t you know C. started bitching at me – I didn’t want to go to dinner because SHE showed up. Huh? And the best one of all – I was out of a job and she found an ad for me in the legal newsletter in reference to a position. Nice, right? Sent my resume in and got an interview. Went home, called C. to thank her and tell her ALLLL about the interview. Sailed through July 4th weekend, assured that I got the job. Then, no call back. I called C., who then admitted that after I spoke to her she called the interviewer, and demanded an interview. SHE got the job. She knew just what to say, of course, because I told her every little detail about my interview, so she knew exactly what to say. I was devastated. She then proceeded to call me almost daily and tell me how fabulous her job was, and how she got the job fair and square. I believe it was around her birthday when I stopped speaking to her. I can’t tell you how many of my friends and family told me after the fact how much they couldn’t STAND her. Oh, and I unfortunately came across her blog, and had to read some of it. She goes on in one post about her fabulous brothers. They did no wrong. Come to find out that one was a drug addict and the other one was a thief. I held onto a burning hatred of her for so long, but now, well – I believe in karma. What goes around come around, baby. Whew! Thanks for letting me vent, people! Twunty, if you have a toxic person in you life, CUT HER OUT IMMEDIATELY.
Wow Cindy, that’s awful. Really bad, so sorry! My therapist calls people who “survive” these kinds of people the Walking Wounded, I think that it’s pretty apt. I’m kind of fascinated by how many of us on this thread have had experience with BPD/NPD in our lives.
I agree with reckless saturn – I’m attracted to shows like this because of my experiences with it. I probably drive people crazy sometimes, but in a way it’s how I work out my own coping strategies, and it also reaffirms how I feel about the whackos in my life, I’m sad to say I seem to attract them – but I’m getting better about it!
shantigal, I’m not a therapist – LOL. I just need one!
Group hug everyone??? 
There’s a Page Six article about Jill going around to vendors at an event last night asking for freebies from everyone. I don’t know exactly what is wrong with her, but there must be something for her to continue on with the bad behavior despite being publicly called out by so many former fans and some of the lesser media. I’ll leave the psychoanalyizing to those who know more than I.
Cindy Murphy, wow! I have a toxic person in my life, too, but since its one of my parents, I can’t really do anything about it. LOL.
OMG Cindy, sorry to hear about your toxic ex-friend. Glad you were able to cut the ties.
Just scanned the Page Six tidbit and the comments. Someone said they’d heard Shill actually re-gifts the free swag she gets! She really is a piece of work.
just signed the petition to get rid of Jill
http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/jillzarin/
Oh God, this is hilarious. Someone signed up as Ginger on the petiion to get rid of Jill. I found this on the LynnNChicago site. Now they want a petition to free Ginger. To damn funny !
Name: Ginger Zarin on May 11, 2010
Comments: I have tried to express my feelings of Jill Zarin on camera. Look, I can’t speak… Shitting on her, the gaudy apartment with funhouse mirrors, and her guests was a cry for help. That morning she was all “Ginger, I know you aren’t sick, but I want to show the world I pay extra for home pet visits so I know it may scare you, with a vet and cameracrew together at the same time but I am scheduling a visit on camera.” I had to hold that dookie in for five hours once I heard that…prior to letting it fly. I was certain someone would see thus as a cry for help and rescue me. Jill knew it. That’s why she was all projecting my own cries onto that Amazon reviewer saying someone should take her pet. Trying to deflect what’s going on here at our own home. Yes, I watched the smoke fly from her ears while she was yelling at people on Amazon under the pseudonym Susan Saunders. It was funny to watch the veins in her neck pop out. Did you notice she uses an apostrophe when things are plural and not possessive and this same grammatical error showed up in Susan Saunders’ posts, Tiger Lilly’s and Liu Seed’s? Wake up, America. Does a chihuahua have to spell out EVERYTHING? p.s. I actually HATE her chicken matzo ball soup. And I only scarf down lambcops hoping against hope I will choke on the bone and save myself
Twunty
My avatar doesn’t show on the recaps yet it shows in the forums- hmm..
Chemgal-So sorry to hear about all you are going through.
I appreciate the info on contact lenses I had no idea that any of that could happen.My eyes have been pretty bad lately and I am tired of having glasses for distance & glasses for reading.I was trying to decide on getting lenses or going in for laser surgery and was actually leaning towards getting the lenses since I am a big baby when it comes to doctors of any kind, now I’m not sure which way to go.
What exactly happened to Brad? I can’t remember anything about why he isn’t around. Does he still work @ Zarin Fabrics??
Oh, JKW, thanks so much for sharing that! I have laughed so hard! Liu Seed! That was the other one I wondered about. Hah~
OMG JKW – that is the most hilarious thing ever! Thanks so much for finding and sharing that with us!!! FREE GINGER!!
To Smithy #125, I had lasik surgery in 1997 and absolutely love it. I could no longer stand wearing contacts and my glasses were so heavy and I had so many headaches. At that time they asked me if I wanted to keep one eye for close-up vision and the other for distance – I didn’t really get what they were talking about. Now I have to wear reading glasses only to see close up or I can wear one contact. I know the surgery has been improved since I went through it, I would do it again in a heartbeat. For the very few minutes tat you might be uncomfortable while doing the surgery is worth the lifetime of seeing clearly. Do follow Ramona’s lead…find a highly qualified opthalmologist/surgeon to perform the operation.
Imnothere
Thanks for the info.
A friend of mine has lasik,she had them do the distance & reading thing. It sounded confusing when she told me.
I’m not sure if I would be a good candidate for that since I can’t do bifocals of any kind due to a head/brain thing I had a while back.
So one eye for distance and one for reading would probably drive me nuts.
But would love to see clearer and one less pair of glasses would be a plus.
Guess I just have to “grow some” and bite the bullet
@smithy, not sure what part of the country you are in. have the name of a phenomenal eye doctor in the boston area. voted by other eye doctors as who they would go to. she does lasik as well as pku (old fashioned cutting and reshaping of cornea which I am told is actually better than lasik) i had to go out to oregon and visit the eye center at the university right in portland as they have a doctor who is an expert in the particular parasite I have. that is an excellent facility and they do lasik and pku there as well. if i could go back in time, i would have gone in for lasik rather than wear contacts. i thought it was too expensive. now, i’m down an eye and spent over 30,000 out of pocket for care. lasik would have been a much cheaper and better option.
@chemgal, I actually called today and made an appointment for Monday for an evaluation at the Lasik Institute in Burlngton MA.
I am only interested in the distance would love to clearly see street signs when driving without glasses,as I wrote above won’t be doing both.
Had a subarachnoid brain hemorrhage 17 years ago (same thing as Bret Michaels-only no diabetes and still have my appendix)
Full recovery but the bifocals make me dizzy.
Since this site changed I am having such issues logging in but would like the name of the Doctor you mentioned.
I don’t know if I am set up to receive emails from other members since I can’t log in there to check.
If you could please send the info to:justshafey@verizon.net
Thank you so much
What fun! It’s a rainy Saturday, my husband is out of town and I’ve been sitting at this computer in my nightgown for hours. I have a dozen links opened up because every time one of y’all mentioned another site/article I had to go “research” it! My favorite is how Jill says that if LeBron comes to NY he will “get to hang with her”. I’m sure he’s shouting “Where do I sign!!?” This posted on May 10. I saw Jill on Watch What Happens Live, and she seemed to be embarrassed by her behavior (a little…), but then she says a professional athlete will “get” to hang with her? Doesn’t seem to me like her massive ego has deflated one little bit.
Narcissists are exhausting. I have an “N” grandmother and mother-in-law. I am very inventive when it comes to excuses to not be around them.
Am I getting ahead of things by asking WHAT IS THE DEAL with LuLu’s new beau??? He reminds me of a vampire and kept staring at her and going for her throat! Their courtship is truly stomach-turning.
cindyluhu: These episodes we are watching now were filmed last Fall. It seems that Lu Lu has a new boyfriend, the one she mentioned to Jill as they were walking in Sherwood Forest, who is French and years younger. There was a report that she met his family over the holidays in their home country. They must have been thrilled!
All I can hope for is that Bethenny’s show which airs next month is a super hit which will drive those others nuts! How long Bravo can sustain a show sans Bethenny bashing and choosing up sides remains to be seen. I know I have absolutely no interest in Jill, Lu Ann, or Kelly’s interactions and Alex, nice as she may be, cannot hold up against that group. Sonja is still a wild card but her constant name dropping, both on air and in print, is annoying.
And how much does Jennifer Gilbert, who has a noticable business to run, wish to participate in backstabbing which could lead to a loss of revenue if future customers see her holding forth in the same manner as Jill et al?
Frankly, the whole thing is beginning to bore the hell out of me since Jill seems to be sinking lower and lower in her grab for fame and personally I would hate to see rewarded for this type of behavior.
I’ve finally read all of the comments and I can’t believe that someone would think that discrimination against overweight people is any different than discrimination against skinny people. I am a thin girl and I have been teased all my life about my weight. It hurts for some one to say you look like a starving child, questions you when you don’t eat everything on your plate, or questions what you choose to eat. All discrimination is hurtful.
Any way…who calls to get gossip on someone’s pregnancy? Then why would Jill think that Lu Lu has any information? None of the other women are really speaking to them.
cindyluhu – LuLu’s boy…whatever really creeps me out. From his bad hair to the way he sticks his tongue out when he laughs (shudder) he’s just gross. But then, that’s perfect for LuLu, so good for her, I guess. Just do it off camera.
Gee, my name comes up instead of my moniker? And I can’t find the button to change it!! Agggh! I need help, ladies!!
JKW, THANK YOU for mentioning LynnNChicago. I have been reading her blogs since I posted. There is something seriously twisted about her. It’s almost as if she were a split personality, only one’s juvenile and obnoxious and the other is VILE.
Prodigal Cheez – the BEST username EVER – thank you for your kind words – and update – I think she tried to FRIEND me on Facebook! (Eyes wide, frozen in place, looking for an exit) How she found out my married name I don’t really know…There’s a small, Jill-like, evil part of me that wants to friend her and then SCREW with her. Please talk me out of it. LOL
@ Cindy – are you logging in through Facebook? I think that’s when that happens.
I’m a day late on this post, but it took me damn near that long to read all the comments. I’ve only been watching the real housewives for a couple of years and aren’t as knowledgeable as many of you are – however – the comments about B’s boring condo made me think. Am I remembering correctly but in season 1 didn’t they say that Zarin’s had decorated B’s house?
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