Real World: Habitat for Inhumanity

Well Meathead has certainly stopped being polite.

Previously: Ruthie Jr. claimed to love this Pablo character, and Eyes was skeptical. Jimmeh confided some deep dark secrets to Meathead, and he was very, very upset about the abuse she had taken. Preston is gay.

Preston and Lips are getting dressed for a Lady Gaga party. Lips gives him high boots, and Ruthie Jr. makes him up all nice and pretty, and tells him he should think about becoming a tranny. He gives her a Look.

He does look pretty good aside from that AWFUL wig. Honestly, who thinks that hair is a good idea?

Meathead mocks him, only instead of it being adorable like it usually is, it’s all icky and mean. That’s a big part of this episode: the normally endearing Meathead is suddenly a big ole douche. It’s seriously like he did a 180- I suppose the editors have done their job in making him appear to be one way or another, and I as a viewer have done my job by being easily manipulated. We have to build a little, though, so Preston’s not offended yet.

Hair, Meathead, and Eyes are playing some billiards like real men, and someone has killed a mosquito on the table. Eyes offers Meathead $20 to eat it. Hair, very excited that the big boys are letting him play, starts yelling that Meathead cannot have a chaser. Meathead puts it in his mouth and show Hair, who is yelling with excitement and then PROMPTLY runs outside to throw up.

“So ICKY! Hold me mommy!”

Eyes is utterly baffled at this display of weakness, and calls Hair a pansy. Love it. Hair has suddenly decided that Meathead eating a bug is disgusting, despite jumping up and down with excitement 15 seconds earlier. Eyes gives props to Meathead and tells Hair he would be the first one out in Fear Factor. No kidding. I mean honestly, I have one of the weakest stomachs ever and this did not bother me. I feel like Hair is part of some crazy experiment in which a modern-day Dr. Frankenstein puts children’s brains into adult bodies, and vice versa (I mean, how else do you explain Dakota Fanning?). If anyone ever did that, it would be a reality show goldmine. Oh god, I’m giving someone somewhere a terrible idea.

Preston gets home and tells Meathead that he hurt his feelings with his earlier comments. Meathead tells us Preston knows he isn’t a homophobe, but the makeup, bra, and wig were taking it too far. I stand by my opinion that the wig was taking it too far, but the rest was fine. Oh man, I just realized who Preston looked like- Mercutio from Romeo + Juliet with Leo & Clare Danes! Anyway, he and Meathead argue for a bit and then Preston goes to bed. Meathead seems to have some vague inkling that maybe he was wrong.

Or he can’t believe how sensitive that girly queer was being.

Oh hey, did you know New Orleans got hit by a hurricane a few years back? Turns out a gigantic portion of the city is still a mess, but luckily people drive other people around in vans to show them the devastation. They’re helpful and thoughtful like that. If they charge for those tours, I hope all of the money goes to, you know, fixing some shit. We see wrecked houses everywhere, and some with holes in the roof that people had to cut so they could get out. Starfish tells us she remembers Hurricane Katrina happening when she was in high school, but she hasn’t though much about it since. She is motivated to help and hopes the other roommates are too.

Apparently she’s serious, because she found (well, MTV told her about) an opportunity to help build a house for a 21 year old with two kids. Hair says he’s not going, as if helping build a house is the most ridiculous thing he can imagine. He wants to help in his own way, because he doesn’t build houses- he does hair. So unless you’re building a house out of hair, I guess he can’t help. I don’t know how he thinks doing hair is especially helpful though, unless he wants to fix Preston’s terrible wig (yes, I’m still on that).

Intense music starts up, so you know shit’s about to get real. Meathead gets into his bed with Jimmeh and calls her a ho and tells her if she’s not going to blow him she needs to leave. But don’t worry, he didn’t touch her, so it’s totally okay. Lip (who, BTW, is in the next bed for all of this) tells us she doesn’t like the way Meathead talks to Jimmeh, but Jimmeh never tells him to stop. Jimmeh tells us that she knows he’s joking but it does bother her a bit.

Lips and Preston discuss this the next morning. They agree that Jimmeh doesn’t respect herself, and Preston tells us that if a boundary is set with Meathead, he will stop.

Why does Preston always sound like he’s woodenly reading off of cue cards in his confessionals?

Jimmeh tells Ruthie Jr. that she’s shallow and only talks to guys for their looks. Ruthie Jr. says they guys she talks to aren’t the most attractive, but she loves their personalities. I guess we’re not talking about Eyes in this situation? Because if that’s unattractive, I’m curious what she considers attractive. She says she and Pablo had a very strong month-long relationship before she came to New Orleans. They saw each other every day, apparently. If they survive this, they’ll be together for sure, apparently.

And true to Real World fashion, Ruthie Jr. gets on the phone with a friend back home to find out that Pablo was “hardcore making out” with another girl for an hour, and then they left together. I suppose that puts a couple of chaste pecks with Eyes into perspective, no? Her friend asks if she has someone in the house to talk to, and she say she doesn’t like doing that because then she has to hear 7 opinions. Amen to that, but this is the Real World lady. You get what you signed up for.

Ruthie Jr. and Jimmeh are trying to decide what to eat, but Jimmeh can’t decide as she says in full on Man Voice that her face hurts.

If Meathead were here, he’d tell you it was killing him too.

Oh, never mind. Ruthie Jr. says it for him. She’s nice, though, and a woman, so it’s okay. They go to eat and Ruthie Jr. tells Jimmeh about the Pablo situation. And I hate Jersey Shore for forever ruining the word “situation” for me.

Now it’s time for (most of) the roommates to be productive members of society for a day or two. Starfish is excited, they’re going to help Habitat for Humanity build a house. The girl they’re building the house for has two twin boys who are “one years” old. She seems nice, and I’m happy for her, but come on people. Basic grammar.

I suppose Hair is off doing some hair, while Starfish is exercising her expertise in putting roofs on houses.

But wait! She tells us she knows nothing about construction and has never used a hammer before? You don’t say! In all honesty though, I hope Habitat heavily supervises this shit because I would be nervous living in a house built by volunteers. I’m sure they do though. And it’s nice that Starfish is so happy to help, even if she is all girly and giggly about it.

She even conquers her fear of heights and climbs a ladder. Meathead tells us her eagerness to help is “kind of a turn on” *eyebrow waggle*. Oh, this is going to an awesome place, I can tell.

The woman who is getting the house tells the roommies about her kids, and it’s all nice and heartwarming and whatnot. Eyes says she’s a role model for him despite being younger. Preston reminds us that not too long ago, he was one of those less fortunate. He wants to help, but he’s feeling clumsy and helpless with everything he’s doing. He and Jimmeh have a heart to heart and she asks if he thinks he should be able to do those things because he’s a “dude.” (I’m a dude, he’s a dude, she’s a dude, we’re all dudes, HEY!) Jimmeh tells him if he’s helping people and happy that’s enough.

Just man up and berate some ho’s and bitches already. Honestly.

The roommates eat some product placement sandwiches and are proud of their work. Preston is staring off into space and Meathead asks him why he looks like he’s about to go on a shooting rampage. Jimmeh tells him to leave Preston be and Meathead says he was just trying to cheer him up. Well, talking about shooting rampages always does it for me.

A few roommates are out at dinner talking about the day, and Jimmeh asks Hair if he’s going the next day. He say no, because he just doesn’t want to be with everybody. He says he knows if he’s around he’ll get into a fight with someone and he doesn’t want to do that anymore.

What a coincidence! I don’t want to WATCH that anymore!

Meathead turns it around to say that Hair would have loved it because Preston cried. Jimmeh asks how he knows, and if he saw him cry. Meathead “just knows” when a *expletive* cries. I’m guessing that was a gay slur and not a racist one. What do you guys think?

The roommates get into the car to go out for the night, and considering how dressed down Ruthie Jr. is I guess she’s playing Mommy and dropping off the kiddies at the bar. She asks if Jimmeh and Meathead will make out in the rain tonight. Jimmeh says she’s making out with a girl, and Meathead says he’s making out with Starfish, who says in his dreams.

Out at the bar, Starfish seems to still be moderating her drinking because she turns down a shot and looks fairly coherent (for her, at least). Meathead winks at her. Jimmeh wants Meathead, as usual when she’s drunk, but Hair stops her. Starfish and Meathead are flirting, which Starfish tells us is because it’s fun and within boundaries, not because they have an attraction. Yeah, we’ll see.

Back at the house, Meathead has taken Starfish to the confessional, where he and Jimmeh have had many a Moment. He tells her he loves her, and he gets her, and he respects her, which she apparently appreciates. Jimmeh drunkenly wanders in, and Meathead promptly kicks her out.

I don’t know about you guys, but to me this is just begging for a reality version of Three’s Company.

Meathead tells Starfish she’s a nice girl who was brought up correctly. Damn straight, she lures those rapists in like a champ but she always escapes just in the nick of time! Jimmeh apparently overhears this and gets on the phone with her friend from home and threatens to slap Meathead. Lips interferes and tries to talk to her, but she’s having none of it. She goes to the kitchen for some water, and Meathead asks if she’s grabbing a knife and wants to know why she’s pissed. She says he treats her like crap even though she’s the only one who defends him. He claims to also have an ally in Mr. Crawfish.

He makes more comments about her being crazy, and she tells him she’s upset because he’s the first person she opened up to about her situation and he doesn’t even respect her. This is going to do WONDERS for her ability to trust people.

The next morning, he says she needs to admit to everyone that she got crazy over nothing. She says she doesn’t stand up to him because she doesn’t like confrontation. Ruthie Jr. tries to talk to him, but he wants her to mind her own business and do something interesting.

At some later point in time, Meathead makes a comment about Ruthie Jr. wearing a maternity shirt. She tells him if he has nothing better to do than walk in and start insulting people, then he’s the most boring person in the house. He says he’s sorry the kitchen is where the food is. She didn’t tell you not to eat, bro. He says she’s like one of his girl friends from back home, they can say crap to each other and it’s okay. Ruthie Jr. didn’t get that memo though, because she follows him upstairs to fight with him. They make fun of each other for a bit, until Meathead brings up the fact that Pablo cheated on her. Her eyes go dark and she says she’s going to fight with Jimmeh for telling Meathead that secret. She says she’s going to create hell in the house because they don’t know what a bitch she can be.

LET’S FIND OUT!!!!!

She goes downstairs and wakes Jimmeh up to ask her. Jimmeh claims she didn’t say anything, and Ruthie Jr. asks how he knows because she didn’t tell him and no one else in the house knows except for Jimmeh. And they didn’t even talk about it at the house, so it’s not like anyone overheard. Methinks Jimmeh has gone the way of the liar. Yeah, I’m a detective like that.

Jimmeh goes upstairs and asks what happened. Meathead tells her and asks if Ruthie Jr. is mad at her. Ruthie Jr. steps in to say she is mad, because when Jimmeh tells her personal things she doesn’t go and tell “the biggest mouth in the GOD. DAMN. HOUSE!!!” I like this side of her. She’s also pissed because instead of trying to apologize to her, Jimmeh just stays with Meathead, who is still just lying around trying to make jokes but just coming off as an ass. What happened to lovable Meathead? When did he permanently turn into Cheesehead? How dare they trick me into liking him and then show me what a jerk he is?! I can’t handle this much depth on the Real World! I can’t even handle this much depth in the ACTUAL real world! What is this season doing to me?!?!?!

Ruthie Jr. and Lips talk about how manipulated she is, and how she tells him stuff she doesn’t even tell them. They don’t understand why she trusts him so much. Hey ladies, he tricked me too. Well, MTV tricked me, but whatever. I like these two though. Like, I kind of want to be friends with them. Hopefully MTV won’t make them suddenly turn on me too.

The next day… ish… I guess… Preston tells Meathead he’s being a complete dick to Ruthie Jr. Meathead says “not really… maybe a bit.” He recounts the evening for Preston, who clearly thinks he went to far. But Meathead says that got her to go away so he could go to bed. If he wanted to go to bed, another option would have been to not start a fight with her.

Jimmeh apologizes to Ruthie Jr. for telling Meathead about Pablo. She asks if Ruthie Jr. could forgive Meathead if he apologizes and just never trust him again. Ruthie Jr. doesn’t know because he has no boundaries. Jimmeh is upset that Meathead could hurt a woman like that.

I wish I could take a detour from this whole episode. Where is the FUN?!

Preston asks when Meathead is going to apologize to Ruthie Jr. and wonders out loud if he’s a sociopath. Meathead clarifies that he’s a “habitual line crosser.” Preston asks if he has feelings, and he says he does, but he’d rather avoid the situation until it blows over.

They watch hockey (like MEN) and talk about their Habitat. Meathead admits to being scared while on the roof, and Preston says he’s scared of power tools because he almost cut his thumb off once, but it got him out of gym class. Surprise, surprise, that was Meathead’s favorite. Preston hated it because he didn’t want to get a boner while changing in the guys’ locker room. I don’t know why I’m going into such detail, it’s just nice to see no one being a complete douche for a few seconds. Also, I think Hair is there with them and being completely ignored, which amused me.

Preston is dealing with his issues about expectations of men in society. Just an FYI. He says “shoot off” instead of “shoot out” when referring to the hockey game, and they have a good-spirited laugh about it. Meathead tells us he’s realizing Preston is more than a flamboyant gay guy and that he likes sports. However, he would like Preston to refrain from calling the hockey players cute while they watch. Except it’s in his likeable way instead of his mean way.

Preston tells Meathead he didn’t know he cared about anyone else. Meathead says he does but he doesn’t show it. Preston says Meathead cares, but he doesn’t like caring.

It’s all very bromantic.

Sitting around the house, the lights flicker and Meathead says if the lights go out they can play hide and go seek. Ruthie Jr. says she wants nothing to do with him, so he offers to hide and tells her she doesn’t have to go find him. Then he Surprise Cuddle Attacks her.

“I will cuddle you back into liking me if it’s the last thing I do!”

She laughs as she tells him she’s not going to laugh this off with him like everyone else. Well, she tried I guess. She tells not to apologize if he doesn’t think he did anything wrong. He does sincerely apologize, and tells her he knew he went to far when she started crying. She asks why he kept going after that. He claims he didn’t know it was personal, and she tells him she lost respect for him that night. They fist bump, so I suppose all is well for now.

Time for another day of house building. Preston is in better spirits this time, and Starfish says he’s trying, which is more than she can say for Hair. Well, what do you want from him Starfish? There’s no hair to do, and he’s not an expert in construction like the rest of you. They get pencils to write their names on the house. That’s a nice idea.

It’s true, she even ditched her ever-present starfish for a bandana. And she didn’t even chip her manicure!

She really did enjoy helping though, and promises to build more houses in the future. MTV y’all. Changing lives, one blackout drunk at a time.

Starfish and Eyes tell Jimmeh not to let Meathead verbally abuse her anymore. Eyes asks if it’s because of him or her past, and Starfish answers it’s both because Jimmeh is apparently not taking part in this conversation. He even makes a joke about hitting her, and she smiles with tears in her eyes. Oh, come on dude, basic social cues! Take a hint! Or in this case explicitly obvious evidence!

She walks away while he yells after her. She cries in the confessional while she tells us that Meathead should know better than to talk to her like this knowing what she’s been through. She tells Lips and Preston that there’s no point telling him to stop because he won’t. How do you know unless you try? Preston tells her people talk to you how you let them, and she says he doesn’t understand what she’s been through. Preston gives her a hug and Lips says if she tells Meathead to stop he will. I sure hope so, because he really did seem to care about her until this week. Also, as much as she needs to stand up for him, I really do like her and feel bad for her.

Damn it, I can’t even mock because MTV MADE ME LOVE YOU TOO MUCH!

Meathead asks Jimmeh why she’s crying, and she tells him it has nothing to do with him. He says he understands that, but he’s asking her as a friend. She says talking to Starfish and Eyes about the situation made her sad. I know, the Situation makes me sad too. Oh, but she means the abuse. Meathead asks if they were comparing that to him. Dingdingding, look who finally caught on!

He goes to tell them he has a big issue with them. Eyes hilariously says “I didn’t do anything wrong! I just sat here!” It’s funnier than it sounds. Meathead says that when he calls her something like “ho,” he gives her a face so she knows he’s joking. Apparently he has not been paying much attention to the faces she gives him back. He says if she wants him to stop he will. Meathead looks around a little, then leaves. I suppose we’ll see if this conversation changes his behavior. Jimmeh sits on the side of the bathtub in a towel looking terribly sad and beaten down.

Jimmeh is going to volunteer at a domestic violence shelter in hopes of sorting out some issues, I guess. Lips, who I think has become the official sidekick of the house, goes with her. The woman at the shelter tells them about it, and that a lot of women get into the same abusive relationship with different men. Lips asks if there’s a time limit, and the woman says it’s six weeks, give or take, but it really depends on circumstances. Jimmeh starts crying, but assures everyone she’s fine. Lips places a reassuring hand on Jimmeh’s thigh.

Get your mind out of the gutter- this is serious. And don’t blame me for putting your mind there in the first place!

Shelter Lady says if a woman wants to return to her abusive significant other, they have to let her. Lips asks if that happens a lot, and is surprised to hear that it does. Jimmeh tells her that’s all they know, and she went back a few times herself. Shelter Lady asks if she ever went to a shelter, but Jimmeh says she didn’t because they were just dating. She says she’s never talked about it much until now, and Shelter Lady says she’s also a social worker and they can talk in private about it if Jimmeh wants. She says the relationship is over but the issues haven’t been dealt with. Jimmeh realizes the cycle she’s in and the problem with letting Meathead talk to her the way he does.

Back at the house, Meathead tells Jimmeh to tell him to stop instead of crying when he upsets her. They fist bump so I guess that’s that for now. She tells us she’s guilty of making excuses for him, but claims to know him the best. He calls her “life partner” and they laugh.

Next week: St. Patrick’s day is apparently Jimmeh’s one way train to Rock Bottom. Other stuff too, I guess.

Well, that was certainly the least fun episode of the season. I really feel bad for Jimmeh and hope things get better from here, although next week looks bad. Maybe after that? And I hope Meathead goes back to being loveable because he definitely was not this week. It was nice to see Starfish enjoy herself with Habitat, and Hair is as useless as ever. I did not miss him. Also, loved Ruthie Jr. this week. And I like Lips and Eyes every week, they should totally hook up. What did you guys think about everything? Are you hoping for some more fun next week?