Before we dive into this intense episode, I have two quick things to share with you guys. The first is this article about why the show keeps repeating cities. I came across it the other day and since several of you have brought it up, I figured you’d be interested. Oh and if you don’t like the reason, don’t shoot the messenger. For the record, they are somewhat accurate in their assessment that they can “get lost” in certain cities. I was living in Queens when the Brooklyn season was filmed and I had no idea, nor would I have cared had I known. That being said, sorry if your cities don’t get picked. Might I recommend moving to a bigger “fantasy city” so that you can feel special when your city gets picked for multiple seasons?
The other is one of my favorite dailies. The important thing to remember if you watch this is to concentrate on what Naomi and MikeMike are saying at the end despite the cameraman’s focus on Nany and Adam. Watching the dailies just solidifies that fact that MikeMike is both comic gold and one of the most articulate Real Worlders in many, many years. He would have fit in wonderfully in the first couple of seasons had he not been approximately five years old at the time. Come to think of it, his five year old self would probably fit in better now. Okay, time to get off this tangent and move on to the episode.
Previously: Adam likes to get a little buzz going and recreationally break shit. Understatement? Maybe. Naomi and Roy Lee hooked up, but it’s still just for fun. Adam and Nany… well, I’m sure you all remember that mess.
Currently: Adam and Nany wake up after a night of coitus or cuddling, take your pick. Of course, thus far they have insisted only making out has taken place, but I’m sure we all have our suspicions. They smooch and Adam goes to take a shower, since his body apparently stinks as much as his personality. Nany climbs into bed with Naomi and says she loves being single and not having any worries. Hold that thought. She says it’s been a long time coming and it’s nice.
“And then we played ‘just the tip’! … I’m still a virgin, right?”
Adam, meanwhile, heads over to videochat with his one-sided “girlfriend” and good lord, you guys, poor think really is just a child. When she says she doesn’t know what she’s doing that weekend, he gets all pissed and says he has videochat so he will know if she’s lying about being home. It’s been said before, it will be said again, but: fucking DOUCHE. Nany and Naomi wonder if he will bring his girlfriend out for a visit. Isn’t she 18? That’s a terrible waste of Vegas. Nany says she won’t make it awkward and she did what she had to do for a reason. Meanwhile, Adam gets on the phone with a friend of his and says Nany is single now. His friend’s response?
It’s funnier if you pretend they’re old timey British gentlemen. ”I say, old chap, might there be a chance we shall take turns hitting that?”
Adam is proud of his contribution to the quick demise of Nany’s six year relationship. His friend is equally impressed: ”Well done, good sir! The highest of fives to you!” Nany doesn’t want Adam to think they’re together. You mean like how Jordan thinks she and Adam are together? Adam wonders if he should “wife her up,” when his friend points out that he likes to have “multiple girlfriends” which causes “multiple headaches.” Adam actually deigns to acknowledge that it is “awkward” to wake up in bed with Nany and promptly head over to videochat with Jordan. Adam is looking forward to his friends visiting in a few days.
Out at da club, Roy Lee and Naomi have each met a random for the night. Roy Lee’s girl does not have a boyfriend that’s IN VEGAS. Yes, random girl, but does your boyfriend have one of those newfangled TELEVISION SETS? Or, perhaps, that witchcraft commonly referred to as THE INTERNET? Naomi brings her guy back to bowl (however, unlike MikeMike, this is just foreplay for her), and she tells the guy she hopes he sucks worse than her. ”Oh, I’m going to suck,” he proclaims, making me wonder if he thinks Naomi is a drag queen. Anyway, they both suck at bowling and Roy Lee arrives with his girl. Greetings are exchanged, and Roy Lee informs us that Naomi has brought home Frankenstein.
I believe he means Frankenstein’s monster, although I’m not sure how he could know that at his literacy level. Was there ever a Goosebumps version of that story?
Naomi tells us that they have an understanding and they are allowed to do their own thing. She awesomely adds, “My name is not Heather, his name is not Dustin.” Both commence smushing, after which their conquests know their place and promptly leave. Naomi proclaims Frankenstein “whack.” Since this wasn’t about Nany for 30 seconds, she tells us she wants to be like Naomi and Leroy and just have fun and do what she wants.
Nany calls Sean the busboy and, after telling us that he’s nice and genuine and nothing like Adam, makes vague plans to meet up with him. Adam is listening to the call and doesn’t look happy. Nany gets ready and tells us she’s nervous because she can’t remember the last time she’s been on a date. But can she remember the last time she met up with someone? Because that’s what I thought this was.
The girls all arrive at the restaurant, and Teacup tells us she thinks that Nany was just tired of being in a relationship in which she got no respect.
As opposed to your relationship, in which you were placed on a mile-high pedestal within minutes?
Nany makes some nervous chatter while simultaneously denying the fact that she is nervous. Just as she’s worrying that he won’t show up, he does. She gives him a very bouncy hug. When they ask about his brothers, he informs them that they were watching Youtube while driving and took a wrong exit. So we’re clearly dealing with a brain trust here. The guys show up and pay for dinner, and after the girls say thank you, the guys tell them they had better be thankful. I believe we established that they were thankful when they thanked you, no?
That night, Nany brings her comforter and climbs into bed with Adam. He tells us he’s confused since she just went on a date with Sean, but when he tries to talk to her about it, she rolls away from him and tells him to go to sleep. Keep poking the bear, Nany.
Teacup tells Dustin that she knows Adam likes Nany but Nany is more mature, which is debatable at best. Dustin thinks Nany is leading Adam on, but Teacup reminds Dustin of the half-dozen or so other girls with whom Adam is involved. Dustin channels his inner Miss Cleo and says he’s worried about Adam getting drunk and angry and going nuts over Nany. However, they both agree that they can’t tell her.
Adam tells MikeMike that he doesn’t want to look like a fool since Nany went on a date with Sean and then got into bed with Adam. It’s so thoughtful of Adam to be so concerned about himself like that. Adam is also deeply offended that Sean is a “nerd.”
“The very thought of a bugger like him on a date with the same girl as a scoundrel like me? Blasphemy!”
MikeMike asks what he is, and Adam says he’s a cool nerd. Meaning he knows better than to go after a girl one of his roommates likes (he certainly learned that lesson the hard way). MikeMike says “The irony in all of this is…” and fails to complete his sentence with “YOU HAVE A FUCKING GIRLFRIEND, YOUR MORONIC ASSHOLE.” Instead, he just says “the playa… might be getting played.” Which is probably wise since it will not make Adam quite as angry while still getting a similar sentiment across.
Adam and Nany debate whether or not to cuddle later that night. Neither likes sleeping in the other one’s room, which I can understand because I know I like sleeping in my own bed. Conclusion: they might cuddle later that night. Good talk, guys! Productive!
The guy roomies go out by themselves and Adam flirts with… well… this:
Is it a dude? Cougar full of Botox? DUDE full of Botox? Task force, investigate!
Seriously, it’s very disturbing to hear Adam tell heshe how “sexy” heshe is. Either way, Adam brings heshe back to the suite but tells Roy Lee to lie and say heshe is his so Nany doesn’t get pissed. Once Adam and heshe are in (Leroy’s) bed, heshe is STILL refusing to kiss Adam. He tells MikeMike he doesn’t want Nany to see him fucking that bitch, so if heshe’s not DTF can MikeMike kick her out in like five minutes? Poor MikeMike agrees but looks properly uncomfortable about the whole thing.
Speaking of hideously uncomfortable, despite coming back to the suite with Adam and getting into bed with him, heshe apparently won’t even kiss Adam, let alone bang him. Not that I think Adam deserves to get laid or anything, but who DOES that?! Anyway, Adam asks MikeMike to kick her out and says she’s in MikeMike’s bed. Mikey acknowledges how weird this whole thing is, but says he has to abide by guy code, so he jumps onto the bed and awkwardly stares at her until she leaves.
“Are you gonna be my new mommydaddy?”
Heshe heads out into the main room, where various roomies are milling about. Nany possessively hugs Adam, and he hugs back and gives heshe a meaningful look. Then Adam and Nany are in bed together, and Nany wonders where Roy Lee finds these girls. I’m guessing “Roy Lee” finds them in Adam’s beer goggles, Nany! Adam plays it off and tells her he likes kissing her and he would have brought some random dudechick home tonight if he didn’t want to cuddle with her. Nany tells him he’s allowed to bring girls back and she’s allowed to bring Sean back.
He comes clean about bringing a dudechick back tonight, to which Nany says “And?” Then he says it was the blonde dudechick pretending to be Leroy’s and Nany proclaims him “disgusting.” He takes this to mean that she’s not okay with him bringing girls home, and maybe it does, but maybe it just means that Nany thought that dudechick was gross? They both accuse each other of wanting the best of both worlds, and Nany says she doesn’t want “anything close to this” and heads back to her room.
Adam tells the guys that “everyone hates me again.” When they protest, he clarifies that he means Nany hates him, but he’ll get her back. MikeMike says he doesn’t think that will be to difficult.
“Blimey, MikeMike, I do hope you’re right about that tart!”
The next morning, Nany tells Roy Lee and MikeMike that she feels like an idiot because no one told her about the guygirl being Adam’s last night. Roy Lee sticks to his story until Nany tells him that Adam told her the truth last night. He tells her he was only covering because of man law, and he means no disrespect to her. She tells them she wouldn’t care if he hadn’t told her he wanted to cuddle that night. Roy Lee half-heartedly agrees with her but I can’t tell if he means it or he’s just trying to end this. Also, didn’t we see this same scenario on Jersey Shore recently?
Ugh, time for me to get pissed. Adam tells his girlfriend that he doesn’t want her going to some party and she’s not allowed to text random dudes. I know this girl is 18, but WTF? Who the fuck just sits there and takes that? Listen, ladies: I know you think all guys are assholes, but they aren’t. And the ones who are will NEVER LEARN if you allow them to speak to you this way. He then tells her if she would like to text anyone of the male gender, she should email him and he will decide whether or not she is permitted to do so. To her credit, she does say she doesn’t understand why she can’t do these things, when he is doing worse. Unfortunately, that’s about the extent of the backbone she shows.
Do me a favor, Adam: alternate between punching yourself in the face and bludgeoning yourself over the head with the phone. When you want to stop, email me and I’ll decide if you’re allowed.
The roomies head downstairs to meet Phil, their boss. Naomi requests that they save the seat next to Phil for her as she finds him rather attractive. They learn that they’re going to help plan the Fetish and Fantasy Ball, which is apparently one of the sexiest events in Las Vegas. The camera is awesomely focused on MikeMike during this explanation. They will also get to participate and dress up in costumes. This should be fun to watch.
Adam tells Roy Lee and MikeMike that he feels like a fool since Nany went out with another dude and then came home to him. Roy Lee says he doesn’t care at all if Naomi brings a dude home, but if they’re both alone for the night she’s fair game. Also, Adam, I know this is a novel concept, but you can tell Nany that she needs to either cuddle with you or see other dudes. Granted, she’d probably pick the other dudes, but being a manipulative asshole is only going to get you manipulative chicks. Adam claims that if she tries to play him he will make her cry like a baby. He’ll lie and say he broke up with his girlfriend, make Nany his girlfriend, and then bring home girls. I continue to hope against all hope that despite Nany’s naivety, she will not be that dumb.
The roomies are out and Roy Lee ends up bringing home a lovely young lady:
… Whose ass has apparently committed a crime.
Naomi makes some awkward small talk with her and smacks her ass for being so GUILTY. She also tells us it’s scary because Roy Lee brings home very random chicks and you never know what you’re going to get. Roy Lee asks if he should make her leave, but Naomi says no. RL takes her back to his room and MikeMike hilariously and awesomely comes RUNNING out with his comforter.
GUILTY then leaves and Naomi heads into Roy Lee’s bed to tease him for hooking up with Sonic the Hedgehog. He counters by teasing her for hooking up with Frankenstein. They continue to tease each other and laugh, concluding with her says she hates him and him saying he loves her too. I’m choosing to just enjoy this nice moment since they both seem happy with the way things are and not fear that they will become like their other roomies. Roy Lee is pleased as punch that he can sleep with other girls and have Naomi too.
Nany tells Adam that he’s allowed to bring girls home, but it’s fucked up to tell her to be in his bed when he gets back and then bring a girl home. Adam actually admits that he shouldn’t have gone about it that way, but then tells us he just apologizes whether he means it or not because he knows that’s what she wants. Nany says she doesn’t know if she’ll ever be able to let her guard down with him so they should just do their own thing. He asks where she stands and she says they’re friends and they awkwardly hug.
Nany tells Naomi about the apology but says she doesn’t believe that Adam is sincere. I’m choosing to have a little bit of faith in Nany only because on the After Shows online she seems really disgusted by Adam so hopefully she’s learned a thing or two from all of this. She says she can’t take him seriously and she doesn’t believe he really liked her.
The roomies go shopping for costumes for the Fetish and Fantasy Ball. Unsurprisingly, the highlight is MikeMike in a cow costume:
MikeMike makes some milkmilk. Maybe he could get a hand job or two out of this, but grandma probably wouldn’t approve.
Three of Adam’s friends are in town, and you’ll be happy to know that they ALL wear their sunglasses indoors at night, so we don’t have to waste any time wondering if Adam’s friends are a douchey as he is. Out at da club, Nany is happy to see Sean. When his friends question it, Adam insists it’s all to make him jealous and says she went on a date with Sean the other night, but came home and slept/made out with Adam. Nany asks Sean if he has a girlfriend, and guess what? He does! Nany says she feels stupid and Sean says she’s making him feel bad, but he wouldn’t lie about it. She says it’s all good and he should go, they’ll talk later. Adam is thrilled that his competition got knocked down and Nany cries into Teacup’s shoulder about it.
Nany is crying that she feels like a fool, and the other girls assure her that no one saw Sean’s big girlfriend reveal coming. Roy can’t believe she’s sitting there crying in the club and figures she must like douchebags. He tells her guys aren’t worth crying over and to just worry about herself. Teacup comes to her defense and they take an all-girl group trip to the bathroom, where Teacup assures her that there will be a guy who will treat her right, and that she has to think she deserves the world in order to find a guy who will think so too.
“And if he starts collecting your hair, telling you your ass smells like roses, and kissing the ground you walk on- don’t worry, that’s totally normal and it just means he’s treating you right!”
All kidding aside, I actually think the friendship between the girls this season is quite nice and refreshing. They seem to genuinely like and support each other…
… Even if it is just a waste of time and energy, as Nany promptly starts dancing and then making out with Adam. Dustin tells Teacup and Naomi that they are all screwed and this is about to blow up. He convinces Teacup that Nany making out with Adam is a mistake and is worse than her crying, and Teacup should go pull her away. Adam asks Nany if she wants to sleep with him that night, and she says she does. Teacup comes over to take Nany away, and an already drunk Adam proceeds to get completely obliterated. Security steps in and Adam promises to behave, but Dustin is worried because he sees that the blank stare has taken over Adam’s eyes.
Tell me again how this fucktard has a dozen girls after him?
Security finally says he has to go, and various friends/roomies/security guards start dragging him away. He’s stumbling/being dragged through the club while calling out for Nany and spitting on displays when they accidentally let him go. Guys can be so terrifying when they get this drunk, and all they can do is fixate on a girl. Once they get him to the suite, he starts screaming at them to close the door, then smashes his sunglasses against their bowling alley and starts pulling lights off of the wall. All of these things are scary enough in their own right, but what’s really terrifying is that Adam will watch this and STILL think he wasn’t doing anything wrong.
The girls return to the suite and Nany says she wants to hook up with Adam. All the other two can do is ask him why. She finds him in his bed, where Adam’s douche friends ask her to take care of him. She insists that it’s not her problem. Adam gets up and starts punching the pictures on the wall while everyone tells him to lay down and chill. He’s hanging onto Nany and breathing like Darth fucking Vader, and then he throws a punch. It misses her, and it’s unclear whether he meant to hit her or not, but either way it’s a close call.
Seriously, this is what Adam thinks is just letting loose and having a good time. Nany, I implore you to wake the FUCK up.
I never thought I’d be thankful for Dustin, but he steps in and drags Nany away from Adam. She keeps screaming at him, but since Dustin thinks all girls are made of glass, he just insists that all of the women remove themselves lest they see something unclean. She unconvincingly tells Dustin she’ll stay away and then promptly tries to go back in, causing him to chase her away with this look:
“Women should NEVER have to witness this. Ever. In the history of EVERDOM!”
While Dustin is trying to talk to Nany, she overhears one of Adam’s friends calling her a bitch. She immediately freaks out and seems to want to fight these guys, as Dustin carries her flailing body across the suite and away from danger. She keeps screaming that she’s not scared and she’s been hit by a dude before, but Teacup and Dustin tell her that neither of those things makes it right. She keeps screaming that she’s not scared until she ends up sobbing in Dustin’s arms, still insisting that she’s not scared. She’s like the anti-Jessi Spano.
Just take some caffeine pills. Then you’ll be SO EXCITED, SO EXCITED… and then so scared.
Dustin tells her she’s not going to get hit on his watch, and then hugs her while she cries some more. This some SERIOUS DRAMA, Y’ALL. No joke. Adam’s friends put him to bed while Nany insists to the girls that she does not want to EVER talk about what she admitted. She says no one will understand what she put herself through, and it was her choice, and she came here promising herself she wouldn’t open up too much. Naomi hugs her while she cries, and Adam’s friends hold a bucket for him in his bed. It’s quite the juxtaposition.
After a brief commercial reprieve, Nany is on the computer while telling Naomi and Teacup to disregard anything she said tonight so they can wake up and not worry about it. Naomi tells us she wants to know more, so she’s there to listen if Nany wants to talk, but Nany is still insisting that she doesn’t want to talk about it. Teacup tells us she can’t make Nany tell her about it, but it breaks her heart and makes her worry about Nany’s infatuation with Adam.
On the bright side, Dustin probably seems tame by comparison. Now go cut your toenails and put the clippings in his Teacup drawer.
Oh look, you guys, it’s a full moon! Adam is a werewolf; mystery SOLVED! I knew he was hairier than the average Real Worlder. Roy Lee returns to the suite to find blood, broken light fixture, and Dustin/Teacup trying to get Adam to the bathroom since he’s foaming at the mouth and/or vomiting on his bed.
Roy Lee is PISSED, and I don’t blame him. His confessional deserves a word-for-word rehash: ”I’m so- I don’t even want to sleep here tonight… I’m so fed up with Adam. We’re dealing with a nutcase, and he don’t get held responsible for nothing. Can’t nothing get through to this kid, you know that. Send his ass home, man… Can’t help nobody who don’t want to be helped.” Okay, so the English language is butchered, but the sentiment is dead-on so this grammar Nazi is giving a brief reprieve for that one. And with that we get a TO BE CONTINUED…
Next week: Roy Lee starts smashing shit like Adam in order to prove how much the roomies are babying Adam. We shall see if this method proves effective.
Damn, that was one hell of an episode. More drama than the Real World has seen in awhile. What does everyone think? Personally, I think Adam is just too violent and should probably be sent home, but who knows if that will happen (some dailies are making me hopeful). Nany is making some bad decisions, but I’m still hoping that she’s learning from them since she seems so disgusted by Adam during the online aftershows. I suppose only time will tell, though. What did you guys think about Dustin’s reaction to everything? I feel like Dustin puts girls on a pedestal too often and treats them like they’re going to crumble into pieces if you look at them wrong, but in this case I think he handled it well. And on a lighter note, favorite roomie pair? Mine is still Roy Lee and MikeMike, but I do enjoy watching Roy Lee and Naomi too. See you guys in a few days for the aftermath of this incredibly dramatic turn of events.