Real World Recap: Egg on Your Face

Recaps

By VirginiaApple | Tuesday, July 31, 2012 | 6:17 am | 12 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Real World, Recaps

Oh hey, remember that bitchy girl who led Captain Needy on back in the second(?) episode? Well, she just decided to call him up, apparently out of the blue since he’s surprised to hear from her. We can probably surmise from this that the roommates have been living in the house for a week or two at this point, right? And we’re almost halfway through the season?

Anyway, Captain Needy is SUPER excited when she agrees to the possibility of stopping by later that night. Oh, this is going to end well. Does anyone else think there’s a chance in hell she’ll actually show up? I’m sorry, you’ll have to speak up, I can’t hear you over all of those crickets.

Captain Needy mimics the pained expressions viewers would be making if they could only bring themselves to give one single fuck.

Mo’Rum and Latoya have written one of them rap songs for the occasion, with backup from Swift and Trey. It’s all about Captain Needy’s alleged date with Alyssa (bitchy girl), and he’s like a kid in a candy store. I hope the roomies really thought she was coming, because otherwise this is just cruel.

Captain Needy gets all EMOtional as he tells RomCom that he’s not trying to bang Alyssa, even though he claims it makes him sound like a bitch. RomCom babyvoices that he likes her. Captain Needy apparently really likes her. Based on what, you ask? Glad you asked! Apparently it’s based on the fact that he can “have a genuine conversation” with her, he says to the girl with whom he’s having an actually genuine conversation. Of course, she already rejected him. Also, all of the footage we’ve seen of Alyssa is her looking utterly bored, throwing an occasional fake smile Captain Needy’s way.

Captain Needy’s not done yet, though! He’s steamrolls on to say that he loves “waking up next to a girl. I love making her breakfast. I love being the reason a female smiles.” HOLY. SHIT. This is getting hard to watch. Apparently she makes his utterly average self feel oh, so special. Good lord, could this guy POSSIBLY be any more of a walking Taylor Swift song?

In the meantime, RomCom is wishing REAL HARD for her fairy godmother to show up and make Captain Needy’s words come out of Trey’s mouth.

Hey, remember when Alyssa was going to call “around 8ish?” Well, as of 9:18 it’s become “I’ll call you when I get in.” Yet somehow, this translates into Captain Needy getting dressed up to stay in, vacuuming, lighting candles, and making beds (which Trey the Neat Freak finds “weird”). The roommates all insist they’re happy for him, but are clearly starting to find the situation sketchy.

10:45, and RomCom is practicing her floor exercise to beat the Russians. No one tell her that anyone old enough to be on this show is too old to be an Olympic gymnast. Anyway, the roommates are finally getting concerned about the possibility of the Bitch not showing up. Captain Needy finally stops feeling like he’s being treated as the special snowflake that he is, and begins to mope. Mo’Rum, bless her heart, insists that they head in to town for a bit. Seriously, this isolation is doing them no favors. Captain Needy makes a sad attempt to shotgun a beer and tries not to cry.

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12 Comments

  1. 1
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted August 1, 2012 at 12:45 pm

    Page 3: Cpt Needy has been vehemently accused on not actually being from “Southie” and I can assure you no man from that part of town would be caught dead saying “Super Cute” if they were from there.

    True Story: ” I had a manager back in ’08 who was from Southie; he worked in a more uppity part of the city. Traditional Southie guy, son of a firefighter, been dating the same chick for 12 years with no plans to marry and his own name plate on the bar in front of his stool at the L Street Tavern (for all you Good Will Hunting fans out there that is a real place) and he NEVER once told anyone from his neighborhood where he worked b/c he was ashamed he would dishonor his father’s memory by wearing a suit and working a white collar job. So no, VA Southie men don’t say ‘super cute’.

    At ease.

  2. 2
    VirginiaApple
    Posted August 1, 2012 at 1:03 pm

    Thanks, Gypsy! I love that I can always count on you guys to have a fun anecdote!

  3. 3
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted August 1, 2012 at 1:30 pm

    Either that or a long winded pointless story but thank you anyway!!!!

  4. 4
    jerseyj
    Posted August 1, 2012 at 2:08 pm

    So, how did I miss the LaToya not drinking thing? Was I zoned out during that part of the episode? Also, I specifically remember her taking a shot of rum after getting off the plane during the first episode (she didn’t like it, but she took it). Also, your sentence “despite the fact that Latoya apparently doesn’t drink and Swift and RomCom never seem all that drunk either.” is blatantly false. Swift spent the entire last episode completely wasted! :)

    And, no, I never thought for a second that Alyssa was actually coming. They wouldn’t have shown that much lead-up unless she was going to stand him up. I have to say, if I were the Captain I’d be a bit needy myself in his situation. Getting stood up like that after being the only one no one in the house finds attractive can’t help one’s self-esteem!

    Also, 2 really important mysteries that need to be explained:

    1) how the heck did Captain get a CELLPHONE? Isn’t this against rules? Did they give them phones this season so they could call Lee to get back to the island?

    2) WAFFLES? I noticed that too while watching the episode. I’m thinking these kids don’t know how to fill ice trays, so the waffles were acting as ice packs. Either Marie was super hot (not sure if they have air conditioning) or had some mysterious double ankle injury?

    Inquiring minds want to know!

  5. 5
    LastCall
    Posted August 2, 2012 at 4:16 pm

    Captain Needy’s response to the accusations of his not being from South Boston but from Quincy:

  6. 6
    plockeness monster plockeness monster
    Posted August 2, 2012 at 6:08 pm

    Captain was extra pathetic this episode. I alternated between feeling bad for him and laughing at him.

    Trey once again proves he’s a dick face by throwing all the roomies under the bus about drinking. What a nerd. I was surprised he wasn’t more self obsessed during the interview.

    Laura still sucks.

  7. 7
    Liz
    Posted August 2, 2012 at 9:33 pm

    So, can someone explain to me why the Southie thing is a big deal? I feel kinda embarrassed having to ask, but seriously, I don’t get it.

  8. 8
    JudgyWudgy
    Posted August 4, 2012 at 2:27 pm

    @Liz, I don’t think you need to be embarrassed. I don’t get it either, but I’m fairly certain it’s just a Boston pride thing and would put money on the notion that nobody outside of that area gives a crap where this kid is from.

    I did, however, enjoy his claims of not caring, and then going on to justify more. Once insecure, always insecure, Cap’n. Oh, and you very much DID say you were an addict.

  9. 9
    Liz
    Posted August 5, 2012 at 3:21 pm

    Thanks Judgy!

  10. 10
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted August 7, 2012 at 11:04 am

    Liz and Judgy it’s just that…Southie the Irish suburb of Boston much like the North End is the Italian. Both are very prideful and it’s considered poor taste to misrepresent either neighborhood as your own especially if you are of the likes of Captain Needfulthings.

    Plus, everyone up here wants to be the next “CT” from Boston so, claiming you are from a neighborhood perceived to be tougher than Charlestown, MA where CT claims to hail from gives the illusion they are tough or next in line for the throne. (as the have dubbed CT “Real World Royalty” everytime he makes a club appearance in this city.)

    It’s really all gag worthy but part of what makes the RW and the challenges so great, just something else to snark on.

  11. 11
    JudgyWudgy
    Posted August 8, 2012 at 11:01 am

    I understand, I just can’t necessarily relate because I think East Coast pride is way more prevalent than Midwest. I am from Minneapolis and while I think a lot of natives here have an elitist attitude in which they don’t really think there’s a world outside of the Twin Cities, at the same time it wouldn’t matter if you lied about WHICH part you’re from as long as you’re from the area in general.

  12. 12
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted August 8, 2012 at 11:10 am

    I gotcha Judgy. Here it’s quite the opposite. Msot are trying to pretend they are someone from somewhere they are not.

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