Time for Captain Needy’s goodbye montage. As they trade hugs, Swift tells us that he’ll miss Needy, but Needy is a man and needs to take responsibility for his actions. After hugging Grandpa, Needy receives the pirate hat atop his head, the ultimate sign of affection from Grandpa. Ginger is so tall they can’t even hug properly. But it is RomCom who gives him the most lovely parting gift of all:
“Does this make me better than Chelsea, the most perfect girl in the world? Did Grandpa see? Do you think he’s jealous?”
Latoya hopes that Captain Needy will learn not to do drugs. Needy jokes that he hates hugging Mo’Rum, since she’s a New Yorker, so she whispers “Red Sox suck” after kissing him on the cheek. My Yankee loving heart is with Mo’Rum, naturally. She tells us that she hopes Needy can pull it together. They all exchange “I love you’s” as the boat pulls away from the dock. Then we get a whole big montage o’ sadness.
Grandpa sees Chelsea off at the airport, saying they’ll see each other in two weeks because apparently this is all really happening at the very end of their stay in St. Thomas. Grandpa claims that her visit put things back into perspective and he hopes he’ll be able to get his shit together when he gets home because dragging “so many people down” with him has been “a real pain in the ass.” Wow, that must really suck for you, dude.
As they hug goodbye, Grandpa asks if she’ll be waiting for him when he gets home and is met with a quiet “mm hmm.” He wants to go to family dinner and then come home and watch movies and eat ice cream. Holy shit, Grandpa is crying!
Might as well call Chelsea Cindy Lou Who, because the Grinch’s heart seems to have grown exponentially.
… and apparently they’ve taped a picture of Captain Needy’s face to the top of a coat rack or something and put clothes on it, so Grandpa can pretend he’s not sleeping all by his lonesome.
Next: Oh, sweet relief, season finale! Costumes! Dancing! Poles! Pranks! Puke!
Did anyone else actually like Chelsea? Hopefully she’ll dump Grandpa’s ass, and then I can maintain the respect I gained for her this episode. Were you sad to see Captain Needy go? Do you think he learned his lesson? And would you EVER go hiking with Mo’Rum and Latoya?