Previously: Captain Needy had many issues, some of which involved drugs and alcohol. He gave up the drugs already, and now he’s trying to give up the drinks. Grandpa and RomCom blahblahblah. Ginger and Mo’Rum were crushing on each other, but Ginger’s GBH might cause that to crash and burn.
Ginger awakens from a slumber in which he dreamed he was Spiderman. “It was fantastic,” he adds unnecessarily. “You’re so weird,” Mo’Rum adds even more unnecessarily. They go for a morning swim/makeout session because, in case you haven’t heard, they like each other. Mo’Rum calls up her cousin to discuss her love for Ginger. Apparently he cooks for her and drinks with her, which is the way to her heart.
“Duh,” thinks the collective consciousness of everyone who has seen more than half an episode of this season.
Mo’Rum goes on to explain the complication of Ginger’s GBH (girl back home) and is concerned because she really likes him. Her cousin (Gina) gives the obligatory “Awww, you like a boy,” followed by Mo’Rum’s obligatory declaration that it’s weird. She’s a rough-and-tumble gal, ya hear? She don’t need no man!
Mo’Rum continues her busy morning by engaging in the regal sport of billiards with Captain Needy. She learns that plans to attend an AA meeting and subsequently give up all drinking. That’s right, the Captain is quitting on his comrade Morgan. Mo’Rum pretends to joke about calling him boring and gives a half-hearted show of support. In her confessional, she questions the logistics of this decision.
“No rum?” wonders Mo’Rum. “Does not compute.”
Swift, on the other hand, respects Captain Needy’s ability to take responsibility for his problems and work to correct them. El capitano is, of course, proud that he has made Swift proud. To make him feel better about quitting cold turkey, Swift floats the idea of not drinking for a few weeks and then easing back into it, but Captain Needy says he needs to fully commit to sobriety. He’s also looking forward to getting his 6 month chip for being drug-free.
Grandpa lives up to his nickname by telling us that he likes being catered to by a woman because he’s used to it and it makes him feel “comfortable.” Naturally, RomCom is doing this very thing for her Prince Uncharming. Speaking of RomCom, she is literally on her needs scrubbing the floor, like she’s goddamn Cinderella.
Where are all your animal friends when you need them most? When does your fairy godmother show up to bibbidi-bobbidi-boo you to happiness?
Grandpa gets on the phone with GBH, as RomCom tells us that she doesn’t know where she stands or whether she’s his first choice. You don’t stand anywhere, sweetheart, because you’re basically following him around on all fours. Or “like a puppy,” as Mo’Rum disapprovingly describes. She does not feel girls should allow guys to treat them that way.