Apparently neither of them saw “this” coming, although they might be the only two who didn’t. Then the conversation just gets sickly sweet, to the point where Mo’Rum says she doesn’t think Ginger, her best friend of weeks, has any flaws. Too much, guys. We already get this crap from RomCom, you guys are supposed to be the fun ones!
If this is how Latoya packs for a weekend, it must have taken the Titanic to move her to St. Thomas. What? Too soon?
The roomies pack up and each give excited confessionals about their trip to St. Croix for St. Paddy’s Day. This episode is really heavy on the Saints, which is ironic considering all of the shenanigans. RomCom wants to get drunk, but is worried about flirting because she likes a boy who likes at least one other girl. Oh, honey.
They get in an aircraft that is also a boat. Last time I was on a plane that size, it was over the Grand Canyon and I was dry heaving into my barf bag with one hand while taking pictures with the other. Yay, multitasking! The roomies have no such issues and arrive at their lovely suite. They then head out for some sightseeing, to some place with Christian in the name. Naturally, they’re mostly excited to find cannons. They wander around taking goofy pictures in various places.
Keepin’ it Christian.
They get ready for their first night out, and in their little bus they start a chant of “To the bar!” This is, of course, an excuse for Captain Needy to look mopey while sad music plays and the happy cheers of his roommates fade into the background of his consciousness. It’s all very emo.
We then have a brief interlude of CRAZY MOTHERFUCKERS ON STILTS. They dance (better than some people do on their own two feet, according to Latoya), there is much music and even more merriment. Captain Mopey needs to be dragged into the fun by his (probably still sober at this point) roommates, but props to them for working to include him instead of letting him mope and drag everyone else down. I know it’s hard, but he’s going to need a better outlook if he wants to get through this.
The next morning, there is green everywhere. The roomies get ready, and Ginger is excited for his “day of reckoning.” I feel you, bro. I am not a ginger, but I am 3/4 Irish and it shows.
“I’m Irish EVERY DAY, so suck it all you ‘Irish today’ mofos.”
Captain Needy reminds us once again that he’s used to being shitfaced for St. Paddy’s, but this year he can’t even have a sip. Ginger is already double-fisting Heinekens while they wait for Slowpoke Swift to get ready. Latoya informs us that he is the last person to do everything and is therefore the precise opposite of swift.