Real World Recap: Three Pairs and a Baby


By VirginiaApple | | 11:00 am | 15 Comments
Posted in: Real World, Recaps

Hello there, ladies and gentleGasmii, and welcome back to The Real World.  It seems the producers have finally decided to take some steps to banish reality stars to their own island!  They’re teasing us with the possibility of reversing the decline of society!  Yes, I know various reality shows have taken place on islands before, and thus far all of the participants (that we know of) have returned safely.  But one of these days, some of them have got to stop making it back, right?  I mean, just from a mathematical standpoint?

Well, we’ll just have to keep hoping.  But for now, let’s meet seven new strangers- some of whom never even bothered to start being polite, and several of whom have already exhibited more personality in one day/night than the entire San Diego cast did in their whole season.  I’m back, bitches, and I’ve missed you mucho.  So let’s dive into season twenty-freaking-seven, shall we?

First we meet the rare member of the Real World Ginger species:

Seriously, with the miscellaneous ‘b’?  Who does he think he is, a Stark?

I mean, at least when Jen started turning into Jenn, it was still short for Jennifer.  But I fail to comprehend the addition of extra letters to nicknames.  Kinda defeats the purpose, no?  Either way, we can only hope that we don’t have another Wes on our hands, because that fool is an excellent argument that gingers don’t have souls.

Whoa, on my first viewing of this episode, I missed the caption showing that his dog is actually named Ginger.  What’s that old cliche about dogs resembling their owners?  Anyway, the Ginge is awaiting the arrival of his mysterious roommate, with whom he will be traveling to their still-unknown destination. 

And here she comes down the sidewalk, telling us that she doesn’t know if the roommate she is meeting will be “black, or orange, or white…”

Lest you think she was exaggerating for comedic effect with the “orange” comment, please notice that she is from Staten Island, NY, where orange people very much exist.

Upon meeting Ginger Robb, Marie (who has distractingly large teeth, BTW) zings that he is, indeed, “very orange.”  Touche, Chompers.  Well-played.  So, the Ginge promptly asks if she’s a Yankees fan, which she confirms and follows up with the declaration that she’s a bigger Giants fan.  Assuming Robb is a Philly sports fan, it’s no surprise that he responds with a groan.

He tells us she’s awesome and a ball-breaker, which he likes, and they joke about having a love-hate relationship.  Robb then tells Marie that she could have just lied to him and said she didn’t really follow sports, because since when are women allowed to have opinions on sports anyway?  I mean, really, what was she thinking?  But she comes right back to say that she also could have lied and said she loved gingers.  I already think I’m going to enjoy them.

Robb’s home tape informs us that the black people he plays basketball with are always surprised to see that a 6’6″ ginger can dunk.  Then he shows off his Hakuna Matata tattoo to Marie, who tells him to “shut the fuck up” in front of his parents and preteen sister, who is clearly terrified of everything that is happening right now.

They’re all a bit uncomfortable, so Marie decides that this is the proper time to announce that she has the same tattoo on her butt.  She literally says “butt”, because I guess “ass” would have been too much when informing total strangers that she’s just told to “shut the fuck up” about the ink on her pooper.  Next sentence: “I didn’t know I was getting it either, I like woke up with it after my 21st birthday and I was like oh my god…”  If this girl is half as fun as her first impression, we could be in for a pretty good season.  In a rare moment of restraint, she opts not to show it off yet (although the lucky home viewers get to see it in her audition video).

15 Comments

  1. 1
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted June 29, 2012 at 12:42 pm

    Bring on the Hipster Doosh brigade, VA! Why is Ging wearing a wool cap in St. Thomas? Cuz he’s a Hipster Doosh.

    I need to watch this again to get a good feel for it but I’m glad you’re back to recap our fave reality show!

  2. 2
    plockeness monster
    Posted June 29, 2012 at 12:47 pm

    VA IN THA HOUSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!

    I don’t know if I like any of the cast members yet. Obvs, Captain Needy is pretty fucking awful. Can’t wait until he starts drinking the hard stuff. It’ll be like when Nate was watching the fireworks and crying, except no one will care.

    LaToya’s last name is “Jackson.” Boom.

  3. 3
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted June 29, 2012 at 1:07 pm

    ^Gotta repeat it, when you told me Latoya’s last name I smiled all damn day! Thanks Plock!

  4. 4
    carol
    Posted June 29, 2012 at 9:45 pm

    Great recap. Knowing that their is going to be an awesome recap after each episode is like having the best ‘after-show’ ever, except the recaps are filled with snarky gold, insightful comments & observations, and great photo captions.

    Seriously, do they roommates never have to go grocery shopping while in the house? Does Costco deliver to the Virgin Islands? Who has that much peanut butter? And it was all the crunchy kind. I hope they aren’t as isolated as it seemed in this first episode. Maybe they just didn’t go exploring. Or that they live on the other side of the bay, but can get to the main part by car/taxi.

    Love the nicknames so far. Ging/Ginger is just so obvious be so great. He is sort of like the Jolly Ginger Giant. Cpt. Needy is scary. I am pretty sure he left his ‘journal’ on the table because he wanted his roommates to see & read it. People that are actually messed up tend not to leave such personal stuff just randomly around. I agree that his ear holes are odd. I have never understood why someone would do that.

  5. 5
    Liz
    Posted June 29, 2012 at 10:15 pm

    I actually kind of felt bad for Capt. Needy. He needs to get his crap together ASAP and everything, but he is one of those people who feels like an outsider, so he either acts out or tries too hard to be accepted, which only makes him more of an outsider. I dunno, that’s just kinda sad. He’s like their Screech or something.

    About the peanut butter – peanut butter is pretty uncommon outside of the US (as I understand it), so it could just be that they got them a ton of peanut butter because there is no way to get peanut butter otherwise, and alot of Americans get kind of weird about there being no peanut butter when they go other places. It’s like a weird security blanket. I could just be talking out of my ass but that’s my theory.

  6. 6
    plockeness monster plockeness monster
    Posted June 30, 2012 at 6:46 am

    OMG, Liz!!!! He is the RW Screech. That’s awesome.

  7. 7
    Derek Hazelton
    Posted June 30, 2012 at 6:36 pm

    I found this link that I know all RW fans would find interesting, about previous cast members.

    http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/watn-photos/real-world-cast-members-gallery-1.92861

  8. 8
    considerthis
    Posted June 30, 2012 at 8:18 pm

    Good move MTV put a freshly recoved addict into this situation – gosh nothing bumps up the ratings like a relapse or fingers crossed another suicide attempt. Surely there had to be a plethora of doosh bags without drug or suicidal tendencies.

  9. 9
    Liz
    Posted July 1, 2012 at 7:03 pm

    @plcokeness – Aw, thanks! I get a good one out every once in a while.

  10. 10
    Liz
    Posted July 1, 2012 at 7:05 pm

    Damn, I meant to type plockeness! Though pl cokeness is pretty cool too ;)

  11. 11
    plockeness monster plockeness monster
    Posted July 2, 2012 at 12:48 pm

    @ Derek – I don’t even remember some of those Real World-ers! Thanks for the link.

  12. 12
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted July 3, 2012 at 6:28 am

    So, while on vacation on the MA seacoast, rumors are running rampant that Screech isn’t from “Southie” (the MOST proud and roughest borough of Bostob proper, Charlestown being a close second). Faux pas Screech, faux pas indeed. Whitey Bulger himself is PISSED. Kidding….maybe….

    Unfortunately, I’ll have to rely on word on the street as Screech it out of my demographic (yep I’m old) But I’ll pass on what I can.

    I can make an educated guess we’re going to hear a lot more about Oxycontin, Suboxone and Screech’s need for positive or negative attention.

    But, so far nothing can trump Ginge punching himself in the head.

    So excited VA, thanks for the recap!

  13. 13
    Classy Drunk classy drunk
    Posted July 3, 2012 at 6:55 am

    YAY!!! VA it’s good to see you.

    I thought the same thing about many of the people on this show. In some scenes they were cute and then in other scenes they looked like hot garbage.

  14. 14
    Zedd
    Posted July 4, 2012 at 6:49 pm

    Considerthis – I thought the same thing. And being a recovering addict himself why would he even WANT to put himself in that situation unless he wants some attention. Kinda ticks me off because everytime they have the goth/scary outsider they’re always whiny little bitches.

  15. 15
    Enrique's Mole
    Posted July 5, 2012 at 5:40 pm

    “hot garbage” – love!

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