Error: Twitter did not respond. Please wait a few minutes and refresh this page.
Hello there, ladies and gentleGasmii, and welcome back to The Real World. It seems the producers have finally decided to take some steps to banish reality stars to their own island! They’re teasing us with the possibility of reversing the decline of society! Yes, I know various reality shows have taken place on islands before, and thus far all of the participants (that we know of) have returned safely. But one of these days, some of them have got to stop making it back, right? I mean, just from a mathematical standpoint?
Well, we’ll just have to keep hoping. But for now, let’s meet seven new strangers- some of whom never even bothered to start being polite, and several of whom have already exhibited more personality in one day/night than the entire San Diego cast did in their whole season. I’m back, bitches, and I’ve missed you mucho. So let’s dive into season twenty-freaking-seven, shall we?
First we meet the rare member of the Real World Ginger species:
I mean, at least when Jen started turning into Jenn, it was still short for Jennifer. But I fail to comprehend the addition of extra letters to nicknames. Kinda defeats the purpose, no? Either way, we can only hope that we don’t have another Wes on our hands, because that fool is an excellent argument that gingers don’t have souls.
Whoa, on my first viewing of this episode, I missed the caption showing that his dog is actually named Ginger. What’s that old cliche about dogs resembling their owners? Anyway, the Ginge is awaiting the arrival of his mysterious roommate, with whom he will be traveling to their still-unknown destination.
And here she comes down the sidewalk, telling us that she doesn’t know if the roommate she is meeting will be “black, or orange, or white…”
Upon meeting Ginger Robb, Marie (who has distractingly large teeth, BTW) zings that he is, indeed, “very orange.” Touche, Chompers. Well-played. So, the Ginge promptly asks if she’s a Yankees fan, which she confirms and follows up with the declaration that she’s a bigger Giants fan. Assuming Robb is a Philly sports fan, it’s no surprise that he responds with a groan.
He tells us she’s awesome and a ball-breaker, which he likes, and they joke about having a love-hate relationship. Robb then tells Marie that she could have just lied to him and said she didn’t really follow sports, because since when are women allowed to have opinions on sports anyway? I mean, really, what was she thinking? But she comes right back to say that she also could have lied and said she loved gingers. I already think I’m going to enjoy them.
Robb’s home tape informs us that the black people he plays basketball with are always surprised to see that a 6’6″ ginger can dunk. Then he shows off his Hakuna Matata tattoo to Marie, who tells him to “shut the fuck up” in front of his parents and preteen sister, who is clearly terrified of everything that is happening right now.
They’re all a bit uncomfortable, so Marie decides that this is the proper time to announce that she has the same tattoo on her butt. She literally says “butt”, because I guess “ass” would have been too much when informing total strangers that she’s just told to “shut the fuck up” about the ink on her pooper. Next sentence: “I didn’t know I was getting it either, I like woke up with it after my 21st birthday and I was like oh my god…” If this girl is half as fun as her first impression, we could be in for a pretty good season. In a rare moment of restraint, she opts not to show it off yet (although the lucky home viewers get to see it in her audition video).