Real World Recap

Previously:  Nate had a breakdown over the fact that several people he knew committed suicide, but conveniently met some charity-starters in a bar.  Through some pride/parade wordplay, Sam explained to Bubbles (and any unaware home viewers) that gay people take one weekend of the year to say “fuck it” and enjoy themselves and each other.  Sam got sad when Zach and Bubbles turned down her invitation to a highlighter party, but the joke is apparently on them since they have to work at Pride after all.

Currently:  Sam, Frank, Nate, Alex, and possibly Prissy are at the lesbian highlighter party (in which everyone wears white and writes on each other with highlighters), which makes Sam happy because she gets to have fun and celebrate her sexuality.  Sam meets a random named Brit, while Nate is happy as a clam and having a grand old time because there are lesbians, they want to write on him, and he gets to grind up on them (that last part is shown, not said).  He tells us Zashley are missing out, and he knew exactly what he was doing when he went there.

And what might that be, Nathan?  Were you hoping they would confuse you with a highlighter and rub your head all over each others’ boobs?

After a night of partying, they return home (it looks like Prissy couldn’t go, I guess it was 21+) and recount their night for Zach while Bubbles is floating away in dreamland.  Sam runs off to draw a penis on Bubbles’ face but is stopped by Zach.  Buzzkill.  When stopping her, he asks her not to do it for him, causing Sam to bring up the fact that Zach didn’t go out for her tonight.

Fortunately, Zach takes this opportunity to articulate his feelings a bit better than he did earlier.  He tells her he doesn’t like sexuality being “thrown” in his face, and he doesn’t ask her to support what he does.  Basically, he likes to take a “live and let live” approach.  He’s still a homophobe, but at least he’s making the effort to explain his feelings to Sam.  She showed in the premiere that she doesn’t care what strangers think, but from the After Shows it seems like she and Zach were pretty good friends, so it makes sense that his dismissal of her attempts to include him were upsetting.  And based on how glacially his “romance” with Bubbles is moving, combined with the fact that we haven’t really seen him with any other girls, he comes across as pretty asexual.  But really, it begs the question:  if you don’t want to experience new things, why audition for the show?

“I took this opportunity to come to a new place and meet new people so that I could largely ignore them to do the same things I normally do.  The status quo is my friend.”

Time for some chatter about Nate’s charity for suicide awareness.  The main idea is to create a blog where people can anonymously share how they’re feeling about their own lives or their friends/family in order to connect with other people and feel less alone.  He heads out for a meeting with the Barstool Benefactors and some guy who is affiliated with some musical group.  This guy, whose name is Koco (not to be confused with Coco, the offspring of Courteney Cox and David Arquette) was raised Mormon but knew he was gay, but didn’t have anyone to talk to.  He must have grown up in the early 90′s, when the internets were all creepy and newfangled.

But his story has a happy ending, since he is now working as a fashion designer in L.A.  The Barstool Benefactors show Nate, Koco, and co. the Living Memoir site they created.  It’s fancy because it has a “rewind” to talk about the past, “play” for the present, “fast forward” for the future, and so on.  Nate is giddy with excitement partly because it’s cool, and largely because Nate is just very frequently giddy with excitement.

Oh and conveniently, there is also a merchandise section for watches and t-shirts and whatnot.  Nate is very excited that it’s getting “so big, so fast” (TWSS) and tells us his mind is now “exPLOding with ideas.”

His mind exploding would explain the bright red puffiness.

After this fabulous business meeting, they head out and party into the night, as do the other roomies.  Frank wastes no time in meeting a guy named Michael, and after some indecision over whether or not to take a shot (oh, the agonizing choices in the life of a Real Worlder), Frank tells Mike that he’s the “first real person” he’s met in San Diego, and he doesn’t “know how to handle” that.

Luckily, Michael has a suggestion.

They go up to the roof to enjoy the view of the beach, and Frank is flabbergasted that they’re talking about things like charity and family immediately after meeting.

Nate’s showing the effects of his day/night of partying via confessional with his new BFF’s.  Meanwhile, Zashley are doing this:

Worst.  Real Worlders.  EVER.  Seriously, they are the Britta of the Real World.  And she’s the AT&T of people!

Frank and Michael head to the bed for some hanky panky (look, Frank’s keeping his promise!).  At some point later in the night (late enough that the hanky panky is over and sleeping has commenced), Nate bids his benefactor buds farewell and stumbles downstairs and past the sleeping Frank and Mike.  He is literally too wasted to stay on his queen size bed and ends up with his head on the pillows on the floor and his feet on the bed frame at nearly a 45 degree angle.  I love Nate and all, but he is a freaking alcoholic.  This has to be at least the third time we’ve seen him this drunk.

The next morning, Sam and Frank are excited as they get ready for their volunteer project at the pride festival with the military members.  They try and fail to wake a beyond-passed-out Nate.  Zashley are sleeping on opposite ends of the bed like the boring old married couple they already are, since they will not be attending.  Frank tells Michael that Nate is pretty tolerant… you know, when he’s conscious and all.  Through Alex, we learn that Michael is visiting from L.A.  Oooh, he and Byron can carpool down for visits!  Prissy bounces in and the functional roomies head out to be proud and/or tolerant.

Zashley get ready and discuss how, like, totally awkward it will be to be around gay people.  Zach is going to wear sunglasses and avoid contact at all times, and hopes he isn’t their type, but he’s a hard worker so he’ll go.

Rainbows are everywhere, so something tells me we’re at pride now.  Also, Prissy keeps yelling out “Priiiide!”  They head to their volunteer project, and are told that this is the first time members of the military will be openly marching.  Well, yes, dude, because if they did that before they would have been kicked out of said military.  They excitedly hand out American flags to parade-watchers to wave when the military comes by.

Back at the house Zashley realize that their cab has arrived and Nate is still passed out, so Zach heads in for the 2893492nd attempt to wake Nate.  He tells Nate that the cab has arrived, and I notice the 3rd difference between RW and Jersey Shore in the past few minutes:  queen-sized beds (advantage RW), people who are willing to do even their fake jobs well (advantage RW), and an incredibly boring delivery of “The cab is here.”  (Advantage to JS’s Pauly D and his “CABS AH HEAH!”)

So, you knew Nate was going to look pretty bad, but did you expect this?

He looks like Evan just lost a fight with CT.

Zach tells him he looks like “Rocky Balboa after a fight.”  Seriously, WTF HAPPENED to Nate last night?  How does drinking do that to someone’s face?  Nate tells us he look’s like the world’s worst walk of shame.  His fly is open.  Somehow, he’s wearing a button down.  Did production button that for him?  But he must go to work, so off to work he goes!  As they wait for Nate to dress himself, Bubbles says that this will just be work to her, but a 6’3″ guy in a tutu and wings will freak her out.

Prissy is loving the energy and community of Pride, while she and Alex express their approval of Michael to each other.  Alex thinks this is a life-changing experience for Frank, to have the freedom to be himself.

The military walks by to much cheering and applause from the roomies (and other people, hopefully).  Sam is thrilled to be witnessing this moment in history since her father has been in the navy for decades and he has a lesbian daughter.  Since Sam has proven herself to be a cool chick, it’s nice to see her get a Moment.

Although it is a bit distracting how much Prissy looks like a dashboard hula girl.

We interrupt your Regularly Scheduled Real World Touching Moment for the arrival of Nate and Zashley, the latter of whom react to the various outlandish costumes with a lot of “Oh, boy”s.  Nate wanders around getting people to sign up for free concert ticket drawing while Zashley hide in the booth with their sunglasses.  Sam is having fun with her Pride Weekend hookup, while Frank is falling head over heels.  He tells us he’s never held hands with a guy in public or “made out with a guy, in public, for hours on end.”  Bye-bye, bi!  Someone has a serious case of The Gays, which he clearly caught from being around all them other Gays.  See?  It IS contagious!

They all meet up at the booth with Nate and Zashley.  Michael immediately introducing himself to Zach and they shake hands.  Zach tells us Sam and Frank are both “canoodling and playing kissy-face with someone, so… wwwwhatever.”  His discomfort is so obvious that Michael immediately notices and brings it up to Frank.  Even a quick peck on the lips is too much for Zach, and Frank doesn’t “want to force it down his throat,” as if he’s forcing his own tongue down his roommates throat.  I mean, I get that pride can be a bit much for people who aren’t used to it, but it’s not like they’re full-on fucking in the street.

The face every gay person wants to see during Pride.  Maybe Zashley had the right idea staying away.

They ask Bubbles how it was, and she describes it as “the most uncomfortable thing I’ve ever done in my life.”  They ask if she was hit on, but she attributes it to all of the figurative fairies dressed up like literal fairies.  Frank tells us he wishes she understood that it was more about actual love and relationships than “dudes in tutu’s humping each other.”  That’s fair enough, but dudes in tutu’s humping each other is probably going to pull the immediate attention over a loving, committed relationship.  Michael explains to her that it’s supposed to be the one place where they can be themselves without judgment and she tells him it was an experience.

Back at the house, Frank and Mike go for a soak in the hot tub while Frank explains that he’s never done anything like that before.  He tells us that Pride wasn’t about gay/straight, it was just about love, and that’s why it hurts him that people like Zashley are bothered by it.  Frank tells Mike that he doesn’t want to make Zach feel uncomfortable, but Mike reminds Frank that he also deserves to feel comfortable.  Frank assures that he does, otherwise Michael wouldn’t even be there.  Frank then tells us that he is falling “hard, fast” for Mike.

That is SHOCKING.  No one could have seen this coming.  Say, Alex, where art thou?

Actually, Alex should be grateful for Frank’s obsessive personality, it’s the most interesting thing she’s been a part of so far.  Which is not a huge achievement, considering the sole competition is fighting about hand-holding for two days straight.

Apparently Prissy drives even when they’re just going out for food, and she is a crazy driver.  As they pick up food, Bubbles tells Sam and Michael that she’s glad they had a good time at Pride.  Sometimes she’s afraid they think she doesn’t care, but she does want them to have fun.  Michael tells her it was fun, and when she heads to the car with Prissy, Frank comments that Michael’s made more strides with her than Frank has in a month of living with her.  Back at the car, Prissy asks Bubbles about Michael and she says he seems nice, but she doesn’t know how they’re dating after a day (fair enough point, I’ve never understood that myself).

“On the contrary, I’m not entirely sure how I’ve been throwing myself at Zach for a month and we’re simultaneously an old married couple and also in a chaste relationship that has yet to be sealed with a kiss.”

Back at the house, Zach tells Nate that he doesn’t think he could ever go to a gay bar after spending the day being looked at like he was “a $5000 steak.”  Do they make those?  Because that sounds delicious.  Oh, and also making Zach uncomfortable was “the abundance of man-thongs.”  Next, Zach tells Nate about his nightmare:  he was walking through a cornfield, only instead of corn husks, they were all wieners.

Paging Dr. Freud…

The time has come for Michael and Frank to say a sad goodbye, as Frank tells us he’s “falling in love.”  I know this is totally different from all of the other times, but he still seems like the type to do that a whole bunch of times.  Anyway, Michael says goodbye to the roommates and Zach tells him to drive safe (this will be important later).

Frank and Michael agree that it was a great weekend and they’ll see each other next weekend.  Frank says if anyone’s uncomfortable, too bad, because it’s his weekend.  But what about NEXT weekend, when your lover returns?  What then, sir?

Nate shows Prissy and Frank his “internet site,” which makes me think about the lady at work who calls my computer “one of the little TV’s.”  Yes, that happened.  Anyway, Frank thinks it’s a great idea and shows Nate the similarly-themed “It Gets Better” project, then offers to take on any of the LGBT stuff if Nate wants.

Zashley head somewhere (the gym, I guess?) and bring up the fact that Michael exists.  It’s riveting.  Back at the house, Alex tells us that Frank is in a romantic daze and it’s “really cute.”

“Ah yes, the glorious honeymoon stage.  Just wait until the hand-holding stops; it’s all downhill from there.”

Alex tells Frank to make sure that he and Michael can stay friends if their romance doesn’t last because Michael is a really cool person.  She hopes Frank is realizing that people can and do care about him, but he says he still feels like “the other.”  Alex assures him that we are all unique snowflakes, and Zashley will come around whether they realize it or not.  Frank think’s he’s been on his best behavior, which is true but for how long?

Alex points out that Zashley could have called out of work if they were that uncomfortable (if Zach did, you know Bubbles would have), but they went and stayed for their whole shift.  Frank wonders if they will come to his wedding if he marries a dude, but doesn’t that depend on if they even become/stay friends?  Anyway, Alex claims that if nothing else, they will leave the house knowing that they can be around gay people.

Frank and Michael have a phone chat about Nate’s charity, during which Frank learns that Michael has run a non-profit before and is willing to share some knowledge if Nate wants it.  Frank, meanwhile, is happy that Nate can see how much he likes Michael and will talk to him about it, which is a drastic improvement from when they first moved in.  Michael tells Frank about Zach’s “drive safe” comment, and Frank is really, really happy.  He thinks that having Michael around will help speed up Zashley’s acceptance.

Not wanting Michael to get in a car accident is a step in the right direction, I suppose?

Frank decides to call his mom for the first time in awhile, which he tells us will be frustrating because it involves “tiptoeing” around the whole gay thing.  He starts out by calling her out for telling him he “shouldn’t have been so gay” when he was having his issues a few weeks ago.  She brings up the fact that he started out saying he was bi, but is now saying he’s gay.  He asks if he’s changed, and she says he’s angry.  She says he acts like she’s a big monster, but she’s “dealing with it” and hasn’t “disowned him or anything.”  She says he’s still her son and she loves him and he tells her he can’t do this right now because he’s in “too good of a mood.”  Well, he definitely didn’t reach Frankenstein levels this time when he probably would have before, so that’s something.  He and his mom have a LONG way to go though.

Nate and some of the roomies meet up with the Benefactor Bros to scout out locations for a launch party or fashion show or something.  Frank is worried that Nate is concentrating too much on the glitz and glamour and wants him to keep his eye on the prize.  Well, that must be what happens when a charity starts in a bar, right?  Nate is excited about the beautiful women and being a “kingpin.”

Keepin’ those eyes on that suicide prevention prize, no doubt.

That background looks like it should be Nate’s fifth grade school picture.

Michael arrives for his weekend visit and as he and Frank greet each other, Bubbles says she calls him “boo.”  She tells us that he’s “been a positive influence on Frank” (AKA prevented the re-emergence of Frankenstein), so she’s okay with being around him.

Frank admires Michael’s ability to stay calm and collected, and say he loves his family, but he wants to be able to talk about people he’s dating and bring them home without making his family uncomfortable.  Frank says that his mom told him he was different, and Michael jokes that she thinks he’s going to come home wearing a tutu, and he probably will.  Michael tells Frank about his dad, who went to jail for beating up gay people, but has now been to Gay Pride and loves Michael.  Wow, that is quite a turnaround.  Michael seems to have a hell of a way with people.  The story comforts Frank, who wishes his mom would come around faster but knows it will happen eventually.

They go to dinner and Frank tells Michael about Nate’s charity, which will make money by selling watches made by some guys he met at a bar.  Michael says it sounds fishy and asks if Nate has a lawyer looking at things.  Frank says no, and he wishes he could tell Nate that he’s not doing this right.  Frank is hoping that Michael’s experience will help convince Nate to take a step back and go about it more intelligently.

“How is it that I am 10 times smarter/more mature than everyone in this house about everything?”

Zach and Prissy do a booby dance in the mirror.  Prissy declares it weird and never wants to do it again.  O…kay then.

Frank and Michael sit Nate down to advise him to be careful with the Benefactor Bros and not get caught up in models and whatnot, but Nate insists that he has “nothing” to lose.

Well, except for maybe that charity you’re so passionate about.

After a cuddle session in the hammock, it’s time for Michael to leave.  He says goodbye to Bubbles and Zach, the latter of whom tells him to drive safe (again!) and says he would hug him, but…  “You’re all wet and naked,” Michael finishes for him.  Presumably he says goodbye to the other roommates too, but that is a much shorter hurdle so it’s not worthy of airtime.

And with that, it’s time for Frank and Michael to say their goodbye’s:

Classic Schmosby, with the smooth Han Solo rebuttal.

Frank and Zashley are getting some lunch while Frank obsesses over texts and emails from Michael.  Zach tells us that Michael turns Frank into a “teenage girl with a crush,” which sounds like an insult coming from him, but then goes on to say that “Michael brings out the best in Frank.”  Frank tells Zach that he didn’t know if talking about Michael would make him uncomfortable, and thanks him.  Zach says “uncomfortable would be me walking in on you flogging him,” which Frank assures him does not happen.  Zach says he thinks Pride help Frank realize that he’s gay, and he’s glad that Frank is finally comfortable with himself.

Next thing you know, Frank and Zashley are having a fun shopping trip in the “gay-borhood,” as Frank puts it.  They’re trying on clothes and laughing and having a grand old time like it’s a straight store!  Bubbles tells us that Frank is making an effort to build a relationship with her and Zach and she’s already talking like they’re a “we.”  Frank makes a joke about his wedding to Michael, and Bubbles says she had better be invited.  Frank says Michael only wants a few people, and he thinks it’s Zashley, so it will be just the four of them.  Frank is “blown away” by how quickly Zashley have come around to him and his lifestyle.  It’s cute how their friends, but the After Show from a few weeks ago seems to suggest that it won’t last, so it kinda takes away from the moment a bit.

So, I see we’ve reached the “shopping montage” scene of the teen movie in which Zashley are living.

Nate’s charity is not affiliated with MTV.  Good to know.

Midseason tease!  The roomies go camping, and Frank pees outside (isn’t that half the point of camping?)  Bubbles continues to throw herself at Zach, who claims he totally wants her.  The roomies dress as zombies, and also go to Cabo, where Prissy and Nate may or may not make out.  Frank and Zach go back to fighting.  Frank’s behavior upsets Michael, oh noes!  I like Michael!

Sorry, again, for the lateness.  I’ve been seriously under the weather.  But anyway, this season is seriously Frank-heavy.  I guess it has to be, since Zashley just lie around reading books, but surely Prissy and Sam must do SOMETHING with their time?  Anyway, so far I like Michael and the effect he has on Frank.  Hopefully Frank doesn’t mess it up.  Nate’s charity does look sketchy in this episode, but the website for Living Memoir is up if any of you want to check it out.  What do you guys think about everything?