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This week, there was big news about our Real Housewives of Atlanta, or specifically, our NeNe. NeNe got the big plug from Anderson Cooper on the Ellen show! I never watch the Ellen show, but for some reason, I happened to be watching on election day, and when Anderson started in on that, “Honey, I don’t know where to begin with NeNe!” I was jumping up and down with excitement! Of course he pronounced NeNe as “NayNay”, but Anderson Cooper, that’s some major cred. Go NayNay!
Girrrrrrrl!
Tonight, they scare the crap out of us right off with Sheree and her man arms and an adult sleepover at her friend’s house. Sheree is drinking and telling us she’s getting more adventurous. This translates to some new friends with pink pleather boots and sparkly writing on their butts who are there to teach Sheree and her uptight posse how to strip. Where the hell was Flasher Heather from Rock of Love? If ever there was an opportunity for a crossover!
There are some people who shouldn’t strip. EVER.
These stripper teachers are pretty skanky. Although, at one point one of them ends up stuck to the ceiling, which is freakishly impressive. Sheree rides the pole and tells us she feels pretty good about herself. Then Lisa, wife of Ed Hartwell, shows up. Lisa arrives with a firm fear of the pole, but shot after shot after shot later…she’s on. Sheree tells us the sex kitten has come out, and she’s right. Lisa’s really working that thing. Despite, or perhaps because of, all her protesting, I’m betting not her first time. She tells us that women plus alcohol plus a stripper pole equal a good time.
No wonder he makes her soup.
For Kimmie, a good time is hanging out in her kitchen with some wine and her personal chef. She tells us that she wishes she could cook, but then again, she really doesn’t. Interestingly enough, this will prove to be the same philosophy she applies to her singing. But for now, it’s time to be excited about the new song that Dallas Austin has written for her, called Tightrope. And how does a top vocalist show how excited they are? Why, by firing up a smoke of course, dancing around their kitchen and talking about how when you run in certain circles, you meet certain people like Dallas Austin. Having warmed us up with this glorified intro, Kim hesitantly croaks a few lines of Tightrope. It’s slightly worse than horrible. But Kim’s not worried at all, cause she always gets what she wants. Now I’m all for deluded self-confidence, but has she heard herself?
Okay, Kim’s a real concern – albeit, a really hilarious one – so let’s check in with NeNe! NeNe’s helping her younger son Brent with his math homework. Well, she’s trying, but she looks even more confused than the kid. She calls in Gregg, who tries to illustrate with a drawing of a pizza. Brent is completely forgotten as NeNe struggles valiantly to understand fractions of pizza. “Can we get a tutor?” she wonders exasperatedly.
Then we see jewels, which according to my scientific calculations, mean we’re about to check in with DeShawn. And we are. Her kind caretaker/husband has brought her a birthday present, a Rolex with a blue face. Verrrrry nice. And with all the hard work she’s been doing, getting her hair and makeup done every day, blowing all her foundation’s money on the ill-fated diamond gala, man does she deserve it! Tonight’s DeShawn’s birthday party. Never enough parties to celebrate the wonder that is DeShawn. She can’t wear the new Rolex though, it doesn’t match the rest of the gold jewelry she’s wearing. Sad face.
Where are the numbers on this thing?
They head out to for the birthday dinner, and it’s DeShawn and Eric Snow, Lisa and Ed Harwell and NeNe and Gregg in a limo. “Is there some wine up in here?” yells NeNe. See, how can she and Kimmie possibly break up? They get to some gardens, drink some wine and eat some cheese, and then sit down at the dinner table. NeNe toasts to the good life, and how blessed they are. “Can I get an Amen?” she hoots. Well, if you’re about to get drunk and make an ass of yourself by insulting your friends, then by all means, Amen!
NeNe starts drinking and spouting about how rough it was being a single Mom, and how Gregg came along and saved her. He keeps her humble. And fed and housed and clothed in top nouveau riche fashion, but yeah, humble. DeShawn says it’s one of the best birthdays ever, it’s good friends, love and positive energy. It’s also absent Sheree and Kimmie. Just mentioning. And speaking of the ice queen and Carrie Underwood, the conversation turns to Sheree. Actually, NeNe just starts talking shit on her. So shameless and wrong, and I enthusiastically applaud NeNe for going there.
“She’s fake! She’s blasted all of us,” NeNe warns the crowd. Ed Hartwell interjects to say that Sheree’s a sweetheart. Okay, she might not be the devil’s spawn, as NeNe’s kind of insinuating, but make no mistake, Sheree’s no sweetheart. And then NeNe really goes there, branding Sheree a gold digger! Ooooh, girl! “You date athlete after athlete, you a gold digger!” she declares. I’m riveted. There’s no going back on this one. And it’s on tape! And it gets sooooo much better!
This look never leaves Gregg’s face.
But not before Lisa tries to talk cool and logical with NeNe, who is now sloppy drunk and blathering about how she just tells it like it is. There’s so much that gets shoved under that just-telling-it-like-it-is umbrella. Lisa tries to bring the conversation to herself for some reason, saying if she’s said it to someone else, she’s said it to your face. Then she tries to defend NeNe in her interview by following everything she says with a, “But that’s NeNe, she’s fun!” Ed Hartwell is kicking Lisa under the table. Gregg has his head in his hands. “Scuuuuuuuse meeeeee!” yells NeNe at the waiter. First the diamond gala, now this. DeShawn is the architect of disastrous dinner parties, and as such, just sits by giggling stupidly.
But back to NeNe’s breakdown. They all pile into the limo, and now it’s time to hear just exactly what NeNe thinks about Kimmie. It’s not particularly nice. She sings a made up song about how Kim pretends to be with Dallas Austin. How she says she’s twenty-nine, but she’s eighty-nine. How she’s got a record deal even though no one’s ever heard of her. And then she brings Big Poppa into it. It’s so raw. Uncensored. Completely unnecessary. NeNe totally pulls it off.
See?
So what is Kim up to on the music career front? She’s getting botox. For the album cover. She invites Sheree, and tries to convince Sheree to get botox as well, but it ultimately comes down to “Blacks don’t crack”, to which Kim wittily replies, “Whites crack!” Kimmie’s a prize. Then she tells us she’s been getting botox every six months since she was twenty-four, which explains a lot because did I mention, I did a little research and unless there’s like a CIA level cover-up going on, Kimmie really is twenty-nine. I know, scary, but that much botox explains an awful lot.
Sheree sits there with her signature smug smile while everyone in the botox store talks about how perfect her skin is, with Kimmie as their leader. If things don’t work out with Big Poppa, I think Kim’s angling for a spot in the paid Sheree, You’re Fabulous!â„¢ entourage. Then again, there’s always the chance that Kim will successfully blackmail Big Poppa into a more permanent situation, so Sheree generously reciprocates with a, “You’re gorgeous!” post-botox shot. Kimmie is deeply flattered.
And now that she’s all smoothed out and ready to shoot her album cover, Kimmie heads over to the studio in her Porsche. She talks about the important things in the music business, like how the vocal coach she’s on her way to visit has worked with so many celebrities, that she’s bound to make Kim great. Suck Up Cori’s there too. Someone’s got to come along and help pretend that Kim can sing. They meet with the vocal coach, Jan, and hard hitter Kim immediately attacks with the question, “What exactly does a vocal coach do?” There’s no denying the girl’s got instincts, and she’s sniffing out that Miss Jan is not part of Big Poppa’s scheme. And an honest critique could pull the plug on this whole thing.
I would pay top dollar to see those notes. If the face is any clue, they’re not pretty.
Miss Jan confirms her status as enemy as she tells Kim one aspect of her job is to look for weaknesses. And by the way, does Kim smoke cigarettes? Just about twenty per day, Kim replies. For the past fifteen years. Jan suggests Kimmie cut down. Kim slumps down in her chair and makes a sulky face at this preposterous suggestion.
They head over to the piano, and Kimmie is charged with the severely challenging task of matching piano notes with her voice. She makes Mariah Carey hand motions, and half-heartedly mumbles lalalalalala. Jan tries to find out if Kimmie’s ever had a voice class in her life, or if anyone’s ever told her she can sing. Does she really need confirmation? Jan most definitely did not get Big Poppa’s memo on this one.
You’re pregnant. With terrible terrible vocals.
Kimmie tells us the vocal lesson is torture. Miss Jan is putting her through the ringer! Miss Jan sits Kim down, and goes way off plan by telling her she doesn’t really know what she’s doing. That she has a hard time matching notes with her voice. Kind of cold. But Kim’s not fazed. “Where does that come into play in the studio?” she asks suspiciously. In fact, if the weave’s flying and the backing vocals are good, where does that note matching thing come into play at all?
Jan’s no dummy, and she figures out that this hussy did come by way of Dallas Austin, so it’s probably not a bad idea to give her a little vaguely worded encouragement that’s sure to be taken completely the wrong way. She tells Kim she’s like a beautiful house with great chandeliers. Kim pictures some pink diamond chandelier earrings and is visibly comforted. Jan’s just nitpicking, she explains to us, telling her she doesn’t know the abc’s of music. “I don’t have to. I’m a singer,” she says very, very confidently.
Please. Please. Please leave.
Having been shot down by vocal coach Miss Jan, Kimmie turns to someone a little more with the program, or someone who at least knows about Big Poppa and to just tell Kimmie what she wants to hear, and that’s Sheree. Sheree hasn’t heard Tightrope, by Dallas Austin, and she’ll for sure tell Kim if it’s good or bad. Kim’s under the mistaken impression that as long as the song’s good, it really doesn’t matter how she sings it. That doesn’t really come into play in the studio, you know.
Kim tells Sheree that the song was originally written for Cher, which means that it’s Cher’s leftover, but Kimmie takes it as a great thing because a lot of people tell her she sounds like Cher. Cher sounds smoked and drowned in whiskey too? Well, I suppose you could look at it that way. They inexplicably sit in a parking lot, where Kim still manages to be slurping on some wine and puffing away on her cigarette. Sheree tells her what a beautiful voice she has. “All that beauty and talent,” Sheree coos, visions of Big Poppa and his equally rich friends shuffling through her head.
Vocal warm ups.
Kim is now super confidant that Tightrope will be her number one single. And then Sheree strikes. She was told, in confidence, about the song NeNe made up about Kimmie. Oooooh. That was some kind of grenade Sheree just chucked with her big man arms. Kim wants to know where Sheree got her information from, but Sheree staunchly refuses to reveal her source. It was so Lisa. Kimmie is very disturbed, and it seems like also a bit hurt. “What kind of friend?” Kim puffs angrily.
And what do you know, the wine and smoking in the car was just a pit stop on the way to a lingerie shopping event…with all the housewives! How convenient! Kimmie and Sheree meet up with Lisa. Kim’s still reliably sipping on wine. She flatly informs us that the lingerie expedition is a big waste of time for her because she doesn’t wear panties. Period. Wow, being mad is bringing out Kim’s really classy side.
But then Kimmie heads off to the dressing room to try on some granny panties – apparently, when Big Poppa has to deal with panties, this is his preference. Go figure. And just then, NeNe and DeShawn arrive. Showdown! Kimmie exits the dressing room, is very nice to DeShawn, and ignores NeNe completely. NeNe is dopey enough to say she has no idea where Kim’s coming from.
What’d I do?
Kimmie and Sheree exert their newly conjoined queen bee status, and leave. Don’t worry, Kim doesn’t forget to bring her wine. Sheree says that if NeNe was a friend, like Sheree is a friend – hear that Big Poppa? Sheree is a friend – that she would support Kimmie’s singing career. NeNe says that Kim’s wig is squeezing her brain and it’s obvious that Sheree’s manipulated her and she fell for it.
Well, this is one action packed day for Kim and Sheree – wine in the car, wine in the lingerie store, now wine in the restaurant, waiting for Dallas Austin. It’s a Mexican restaurant, and worldly Kim has never eaten guacamole. Never even seen it before. She glares at it, calls it garbage, and informs Sheree she’s “out of your fucking mind” if she thinks she’s going to eat it. She tries it, and determines that it “tastes like shit”. Hey, is Kimmie going to try her hand at lyrics too? She does have such a gift with words.
Dallas Austin does indeed turn up, and even the ice princess is impressed. He has that rock star walk, and he’s major, Sheree informs us excitedly. Down girl. Dallas starts asking Kim questions about her visit with Miss Jan, which now seems like a clever scheme to get her to abandon this disastrous country music idea. Kim now doesn’t know how to tell him that she thought Miss Jan was full of shit, cause she knows Dallas Austin respects Miss Jan. So she repeats the part about the beautiful chandelier earrings. Then she dances around the issue of her not knowing how to sing by telling Dallas that maybe that’s what pissed her off, that she has to respect Miss Jan. Oh right, that’s it. What’s tone deaf got to do with it?
On the verge of suicide. And you?
Dallas extricates himself from the lunch meeting charade by telling the girls he has to get back to work. Sheree is clearly impressed that Kimmie actually produced Dallas Austin at lunch. Apparently, NeNe had been spreading the word that Kim’s friendship with Dallas wasn’t real, and Sheree is thrilled, and I mean thrilled, to report that it is.
And speaking of the jealous girl, NeNe’s at lunch with third-stringer DeShawn. It was good seeing the girls, NeNe says uncomfortably, and then she mentions the obvious, which was that her girl Kimmie didn’t even speak to her! DeShawn wonders naively if perhaps NeNe’s song in the limo got back to Kim. It’s not a typical characteristic of elite society, here in Atlanta, DeShawn explains to us. We know sweetie, that’s why you nearly peed yourself laughing in the limo the whole time.
But because DeShawn really is that stupid, she tells NeNe that she’ll go ahead and give Kimmie and Sheree a call anyway, because she doesn’t want them thinking NeNe said something she didn’t say. What could they be thinking that’s worse than what she did say? I love NeNe, and I love her for saying all of it, but it was still pretty low.
NeNe only said you were a talentless whore. Calm down.
Dopey DeShawn isn’t deterred, and she goes right ahead and calls. “It’s Shawnie!” she says cheerfully, because who wouldn’t want to hear from Atlanta’s top philanthropist, DeShawn Snow? Well, Kim who promptly hangs up on her. DeShawn thinks the phone just died, or they got disconnected. NeNe, who’s clearly in denial, says that she’s always been a good friend to Kim, and it’s sad that the fun has turned to drama.
Tell me! What’d I do?
Over by Kimmie and Sheree, Kim complains that NeNe’s been disrespectful. Sheree tells her not to take it personally, because NeNe talks about everybody. She frosts it with a “NeNe is miserable, NeNe doesn’t want you to succeed”, hops on her broomstick and uses her man arms to fly away, but not before Kim reminds her once again how beautiful she is.
And NeNe, having DeShawn’s stellar example to guide her, has now decided she wants to start her own foundation. This time we’re targeting abused women to sit around in a room and chat once every three-month. But Gregg, like every other totally amazing husband in Atlanta, is behind her. NeNe names her foundation Twisted Heart. Sounds like a Poison song. Didn’t I say this was the crossover episode?
And speaking of music, oh, if only Bret Michaels had come to produce Kimmie’s album, if only, Kim is at Dallas Austin’s studio for the first time, to record Tightrope. Proving what a professional she is, she’s late, and wearing a white tophat. She’s surprised to find out that Dallas is actually trying to get down to business – oh come on lady, he’s got actual artists to produce, he doesn’t have all day to waste on this sham.
BRB
She immediately says her voice doesn’t sound so good. Too many cigarettes they humor her, which goes right over Kim’s head. Kimmie gets into the studio, and first wants to make sure her hair looks good. Can’t record if the weave’s all askew. Finally, satisfied with her synthetic, yellow tresses arranged artfully around her white tophat, Kim is ready to record. Of course, she has no idea about the words.
“She has to play out what she asked for,” says Dallas who’s clearly got a seven-figure price on his head to be participating in this charade. Kim sings to her BlackBerry. Never know, Sheree might come through with an important call about NeNe mid-session. Kim is so desperately, embarrassingly awful, this recording session is sure to become a reality television classic. She’s worse than the rejects from the American Idol auditions.
It’s so hard. It’s a lot of pressure. It’s different than what she expected. I know, where was the guy with the camera snapping pictures of Kim and her serious musician tophat, with her hand over the earpiece? Dallas plays back her song, and he thinks she was shocked to hear herself. Dallas Austin is so crafty in the way he talks about Kim, you never can tell what he means, but if you want my opinion, Kim looked pleased with herself. She says something about it being a wake-up call, and Dallas, finally losing patience, reminds her that she needs basic training so that she doesn’t waste everyone’s time.
Training = voice box removal.
Lisa and Sheree are hanging out at Lisa’s. Lisa also has a personal chef. Talk about recession proof. Their food looks really good. Not to be outdone, Sheree starts talking about her personal chef. Okay, so on the personal chef front, everyone’s covered, right? Wait, not NeNe…this could explain a lot.
And Lisa, who’s proving herself as an expert stirrer upper of things, starts telling Sheree how she’d love to get together with all the girls again…but she doesn’t like drama or catty people. Sheree doesn’t bite at first, so Lisa keeps going, talking about how NeNe’s not a hater, but she is a behind the back talker. Well Lisa, are you going to say that to NeNe’s face?
Positive person.
And speaking of troubled NeNe, she’s got a new bunch of housewives coming over to help her plan the Battered But Not Broken brunch, to bring awareness to domestic violence. And to the fact that NeNe’s better than Sheree. At least she’s learned one thing from DeShawn’s debacle, and that’s to sell tickets. Now just set up those three wardrobe changes, and you’ve got DeShawn’s plan down! For her part, DeShawn sits piously and informs us that she will be a sponsor. “Perhaps,” she adds self-importantly, as if her money laundering ops lend authenticity in Atlanta society.
It’s going to be a big hat luncheon, because hats are a big tradition in the African American community. Aw, that’s what I like about NeNe. Someone yells for a big hat that will hold a lot of weave. Anthony the hat maker is on hand with the hats, but what I want to know is where the hell is Celebrity Hairstylist, Dwight Eubanks? Has NeNe fallen out with Dwight too? These hat ladies are mostly a bore.
But not NeNe, who prances around in her hats telling us alternatively that she wants women of all ethnicities in her foundation, and not to mess with the diva! Then she has to throw in what a huge, huge event it’s going to be. Can’t anyone just have an event that raises some money? Why does everything have to be the talk of the damn town?
Best. Husband. EVER.
And while NeNe’s repenting for all her shit talking with the fight against domestic abuse, Sheree’s getting some news on the phone. I’m not sure who it is on the other end, some random, unidentified housewife, but she’s got the scoop that NeNe’s been spreading around some bad stuff about Sheree. How she doesn’t like her, how she doesn’t have class. Sheree thinks NeNe needs to get a life. I hate, hate, hate to agree with this bitch, but now we’ve seen NeNe at work and Sheree’s kind of right.
And then, of course Sheree has to pass along the info to Kim, who has heard the same thing. Wow, they really, really talk in Atlanta. The place is awesome. Kim says to let her haters be her motivators, and then that she has to go send NeNe a break-up text. “Love ya, honey,” Kimmie shouts cheerily at Sheree. “You too!” Sheree tosses back, and then sits there with a smug smile. Evil plan accomplished.
It’s the only way she knows.
NeNe’s driving when she gets the break up text from Kimmie. It goes something like, “I can’t believe you talked about me. You are so evil. Don’t ever call me again. You are a bitch.” So seventh grade locker note. Fabulous. NeNe immediately jumps up on her high horse and talks about how she can’t believe Kim’s talking that way – for goodness sakes, they’re mothers!
NeNe pretends that she can’t believe this all started over her song, and then tries to blame it on being taken out of context. If she pulls out the editing excuse, NeNe and I are officially breaking up. She calls Gregg, who is not at all surprised at the war that NeNe’s song has started. NeNe tries a bunch of other bunk arguments, like Kim can talk about you, but you can’t talk about Kim, and she’s just been manipulated. But either way, NeNe ultimately leaves us with “There’s no resolution to it. I’m done.” You better not be, sister. The hat party looked totally boring.
Next week, Sheree puts the final phase of her evil plan into place as she tries to have NeNe kicked out of the circle. And probably off the Housewives show altogether, but come on, Bravo’s not that stupid. And NeNe isn’t either, you don’t see Sheree with any DNA drama. See you next week for more, more, more…
Stupid ag.
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39 Comments
Great recap, but how could you not comment on Kim spelling cat with a K!? Why is Sheree considered beautiful? Do long man faces qualify as beauty in Atlanta
Kim was drinking and driving! How is that even remotely okay? I’ve never wished a DUI on anyone before, but if it would keep her from getting behind the wheel…
What a bunch of silly women. I love it!
Was feeling a little guilty for watching this trash – but hey, if it’s good enough for Anderson Cooper, who am I to argue? I think I figured out how Kim came to spell “cat” incorrectly – “Kim” and “cat” both start with the same sound, and “Kim” starts with a “K”, so therefore…… Or it could just be the liquor talking.
Hilarious recap, as usual. My only complaint is that we have to wait almost a week to read them! Post faster!
“My only complaint is that we have to wait almost a week to read them! Post faster!”
Still waiting for three or four recaps to show up myself.
Next week we get the Nene DNA test results. Also who decided to put three gs in greg when he got his birth certificate?
Great recap and this show is so ridiculous, I can’t help but watch it.
I really hope Nene and Kim work out this petty drama they got going on because I’d rather see them together than Kim/Sheree together. Is it me or is Kim/Sheree always complimenting eachother about everything. OMG, your so beautiful, omg, you can sound great, if they prop themselves up anymore, I’m going to lose it.
I also saw Anderson Cooper talking about this show on Ellen. Hell, if you’ve got Anderson Cooper talking about NayNay, than the show is alright with me.
“Why is Sheree considered beautiful?”
Poopsicle, I don’t think any of these women is very attractive. It must be pretty bad in Atlanta if this is the best a rich man can do!
How else would you pronounce “Nene” if not NayNay?
Damn you, Chickbomb!
I dropped by to see if there were any new reviews and I see this! I *really* need to be practicing my drums!! It’s killing me but I stopped after the lunch with Dallas. Did anyone else notice Sheree’s expression when Kim spelled K-A-T?? It was priceless!!
I’ll be back soon!
Damn you, Chickbomb!
I dropped by to see if there were any new reviews and I see this! I *really* need to be practicing my drums!! It’s killing me but I stopped after the lunch with Dallas. Did anyone else notice Sheree’s expression when Kim spelled K-A-T?? It was priceless!!
I’ll be back soon!
Great recap as usual.
Just wanted to let everyone know… Bethany from The Real Housewives of New York writes a blog on these girls. It is actually really funny!
Also, you should check out the blogs from the ladies. Kim’s is priceless. The title of this weeks is “I am 30 years old.”
˜This is really not a characteristic of the ELITE SOCIETY here in ALANA!’ said DeShawn. What a delusional, grandiosity-obsessed idiot. Does she not even realize how this stuff sounds coming out of her mouth?
Ohhhhh, DeShawn – my, she’s just a gift that keeps on giving week after week. You can always count on her to say something so stupid it will keep resonating the whole next week in your head, and making you smile. This weeks gift: that she is ‘Affluential’!!! You moron! – it is affluent or influential, but not ‘affluential’.
Those cheap, crass women do not know or do not care that all those REALLY ˜rich’ and ˜elite’ people start their Foundations with their own money. These ‘rotten Georgia peaches’ have such illusions of grandeur, but they have no clue that Brook Astor was using her husbands millions to support her foundation, Bill Gates put in millions to start his, so did Warren Buffett and pretty much any other ˜elite’ society member with a foundation. You do not decide to create a foundation, name it after yourself and then start guilting people into donating you seed money. Talk about tacky and classless!
And it is so ridiculous, that every one of those fake foundations that exist only to stroke someone’s ego has a purpose ˜of bringing awareness’ to something! There is already enough awareness of those issues out there. What is needed are funds to help fight and fix those issues. But that would require input of real work from those posers, so forget it.
And now NeNe wants to join in the scheme – their selfimportance is trully staggering.
And Sheree – way to keep a poker face when Kim proudly spelled ˜cat’ with a ˜K’. We got a winner!! I would have burst out laughing, but she just looked pointedly into the camera, as if to make sure we understand she knows Kim is an idiot but it is below her to let it show.
They are all such dingbats – but I can’t wait from week to week for next episode and the recap. Yey, what fun.
OK, so Kim can’t sing, or spell, but I’m pretty certain she can do other amazing things with her mouth.
And DeShawn..well everyone has got her number. Class-less. I swear she said “Marny Carlo” when she was talking about the watch that Eric gave her. I want Kim & NeNe to make up too, what a pair. I think Sheree will take her evilness one step too far and the other two will reunite.
Oh,yeah Chickbomb I agree, the girls did seem a little familiar with that pole.
[quote]OK, so Kim can’t sing, or spell, but I’m pretty certain she can do other amazing things with her mouth.[quote]
Oooooh, no you di’int!!! LOL
I love Bethany’s blogs on bravotv.com. Y’all ought to check them out. She’s hysterical. She’s my fav. HW on her show.
I just found something very interesting on an Amazing Race fan site. There’s a listing of all the teams through all the seasons and season 3 has a team of Monica and Sheree who are NFL wives from Duluth, GA. What do you think guys? Does that sound like anyone we know?
Sorry, Monica and Sheree are in Amazing Race season 4.
This episode was almost excruciating to watch. Kim’s singing was straight up vomit-worthy, for one. I mean, I can’t carry a tune in a bucket, but hell, at least I know it and try to never sing. And NeNe’s song, while rather hilarious, was a bit painful to watch through the raging drunkface she was sporting. Oy.
Oh, and Sheree’s face when Kim said “Cat. K-A-T.” was hilarious. It sorta put a damper on the little lovefest those two have been having with each other.
ChickBomb! This is ChickGay! Awesome job, I was giggling madly reading your immensely entertaining take on this episode. I actually happened to catch this one live, and the ENTIRE time I was saying to myself “Ooooooh, gurrrrrl, I know ChickBomb is gonna have some thangs to say about THIS one!”
I have to wonder if Jermaine Dupri (and all the other major producers of the last 20 years) have often had to deal with the Kimmies of the world? I would think they are often beseiged by wealthy friends/acquaintances asking them to produce their wives/girlfriends’ vanity projects… maybe that’s why he was so deft in his handling of her.
love to you!
your ChickGay,
xoxo
J-Mo
Ergo? As a proud citizen of Atlanta – I have been really looking forward to this show. I am a big fan and I am learning some new stuff about the rich folks and about this great city. I didn’t know we have all that good stuff. I am starting to think Atlanta is becoming the East Coast version of Los Angeles/Hollywood California.
Bravo better give these ladies more episodes next season!
Also they need to get rid of some deadweight – Sheree and maybe Kim but then again I want to know whom is Big Papa (is it Quincy Jones???)
Let me start with the low budget Blue Flame strippers from Bankhead! That was cheesy as a Palin lookalike doing porn!
WTF?!?!? Couldn’t yall ladies hire the girls from Magic City or Strokers to teach yall pole dancers! (They have some fione looking dancers there btw)
Mrs. Snow is a sweetie pie with a kind heart soul! Is Mr. Snow playing in the NBA this season?
Now I know what my Grandma meant when she said loose lips sink ships and don’t say something on record when you isn’t want it to be repeat later.
Dang NeNe – I know you were just making fun of your girl in jest – but you know how folks are..they always are twisting the facts.
Well in this case there wasn’t much to twist but it is what is.
Kim the 29 old Country Token Sister – I am Deaf and I hate to say if Miss Jan said that to you then you either better think about a new career but as Dallas stated – you need some vocal lessons. But you are dead wrong for slamming your girl NeNe like that. You have gone from likeable to an evil witch!
Lisa Wu – Ok now I am a little confused – was it you that ran to Sheree and sang like a little snitch???
What the 411 on you and the other 2 kids that we never see? And I know this show was shot last season – but one thing I am not clear – you stated your man was making a comeback – what the 411 on that?
Sheree-gurl for the love of all kids – get your boy some braces!!! And get your daughter a real hairdresser! She too dang old to be wearing da brat beads!
Ok how come some people don’t like to be acknowledging in public…….
I am talking about Dallas Austin – a big azz prick… I saw dude in a line at the bank and I just want to holler at him. He acts like he wasn’t Dallas Austin. Trust me I was mighty offend – and no I didn’t want no money as I waited for him to finish his transaction but I just want to say what up and he look all scared like I was going to rob him or something.
Some of the cast I wouldn’t mind meeting:
Dwight -Boy he is a wild but is truly a real funny one. His demeanor British at time. Cool and laid back and I would ask him to help me with my wardrobe at Wally’s World cuz I don’t have Housewives $$ yet Bravo need to give him a show because he is be stealing the show some time with his pure gift of gab.
The Hartwell – yall need to do a business seminar.
NeNe – Where can I send a check to for your Twisted Heart Foundation?
The Snow – Please hire a real assistant – shoot I can give you some good names worthy of helping you out.
Sheree – Try to do to others and not try to be something that you isn’t
Kim – Real friends keep it real – and if real friend say you can’t sing then you don’t believe them – then u have no business when a well known vocal coach break it down to you… kiss and make up with NeNe and stop trying to play ping pong. NeNe aint cozy with Sheree and you playing right into Sheree’s evil plot
Lisa Wu – I aint got nothing bad against because you one of the fewest woman that actually inspires me.
Nenes – I know one thing – don’t be so prideful and it ok to admit when you are wrong. I still got love for you!
I don’t know about yall but I can’t wait for tomorrow night……
” I would think they are often beseiged by wealthy friends/acquaintances asking them to produce their wives/girlfriends’ vanity projects…”
Well there had to be a reason why Shaq, other atheletes, pro-wrestlers had their own albums produced.
The reason being offered a lot of cash money or some sort of favor.
Good fashioned blackmail may be how it is done as well. There are a number of films that have certain actors you would have to swear the producer of the film had blackmail material on the actors to get them to be involved in the crappy film.
the most painful part of watching this show is listening to DeShawn speak. With all the cast of characters she is hiring to run her life and take of things in her house, she also needs to hire a speech therapist.
My favorite DeShawn quote is when she said, reference to her fundraising event and raising a million dollars, that “it is going to be hard to take it under.” I think she meant to say- it is going to be a hard undertaking.
Oopsie, did I confuse Jermaine Dupri with Dallas Austin? Sorry ’bout that!
love, J-Mo
J-Mo,
It happens – the midget that belongs to Janet Jackson bka as JD is not to be confused with that sex crazed cocaine user Dallas.
Did you know that fool got caught in Dubai with that China White? He better counted his lucky charms that he is an entertainer or he would have been beheaded!
when kim is talking about her vocal coach, she spews some bullshit to dallas austin, and then spells cat as k-a-t. these women are fucking crazy.
I absolutely can’t stand hearing DeShawn speak. I don’t know if she has dentures or what, but her teeth click together! Half the time she speaks through clenched teeth, and the other half she’s clicking them together!
And what is UP with their grammar?! As proper and hoity-toity as Sheree THINKS she is, she is one of the MAIN OFFENDERS! They need to get it together!
THAT is one of the most irritating things to me about this show. The fact that Kim couldn’t spell ‘cat’ wasn’t that surprising to me. What WAS surprising was that Sheree noticed!
Uh,
DeShawn said “SOUF of FRANCE”…SOUF, not SOUTH. I cannot stand her.
to ‘getdeafopinion’”
Are you related to DeShawn, Sheree or Kim? Or is there something in the air or water in Atlanta?
You write even worse than they speak. If you’re going to subject people to your opinion, have a decency to make it palatable by at least running a spell check, ’cause there is completely no hope left for your grammar. I would assume if you write something you want people to read it, so show some respect and make it readable.
Renata,
Did you read any of “getdeafopinion”‘s expository? Specifically where they refer to Kim as the “Country Token Sister”. If you had, you would have realized that this individual is deaf. You may not know, but ASL (American Sign Language) has different grammar rules than standard English, and as such, someone who is proficient in ASL may not follow the same rules as Strunk and White (look it up). I realize that this person is writing, not speaking (or signing), but grammar habits can carry over from one form of communication to another, especially in an informal setting like this. Have you ever said LOL when you aren’t texting?
For getdeaf, Lisa’s other sons are from a previous marriage, and her ex has obviously not allowed the children to be filmed, for whatever reason he may have. I enjoyed your opinion of the Bankhead strippers. My husband travels frequently for business – I’ll have to tell him to check out the girls at Strokers.
Now that I’m off my high horse. . . Renata, I agree with you pretty much 100%- Deshawn is a scamming idiot looking to be arrested by the IRS; Kim is a blow job away form living on a street corner, selling her daughters (I hope their dad is smarter than their mom); Sheree (accent ague wherever the hell she sticks it) scares off men because she can kick their ass; Nene needs a bra more than she needs a charitable foundation; and Lisa needs to focus on her real estate business, because her husband isn’t going back to the NFL
I wish the season was longer. . .
Renata: “This weeks gift: that she is ‘Affluential’!!! You moron!” That sounds like something George W. Bush would say–and he did ok. Well, he failed at everything he’s done, but…
I read somewhere that one of these ladies is divorced (Sheree?) and one is a prostitute. Is that true? Why is it called “The Real HOUSEWIVES…” if they aren’t wives? OK, maybe ex-wives count.
I don’t think Ed Hartwell is playing in the NFL this season. I’ll double check.
Have you ever noticed that a lot of supposedly glamorous, sexy women look way older than they are? Why is that? Is it because they use too much botox, too soon?
Kim has a sugar daddy. Suspicion is it that it is a married multimillionaire Duluth area real estate developer whose children are now adults. None of these women is from the actual Atlana Metro Area.
As for why they are on the real housewives they have to find a group that knows one another and well Lisa, Deshawn, Nene are the housewives who agreed. Kim, Sheree are the two pseudo housewives. Housewife means homemaker so if you take that definition maybe they count.
It’s more likely smoking two packs a day, too much makeup, too much booze. Also since four of the five aren’t white you don’t consider them attractive. Botox is a neurotoxin so yeah too much can make someone fugly since they cannot move their face in certain areas.
Seems to be a bug in the commenting. If I have something else in the username field, then put in my password hit log in then upon request put in my correct username it instead of using the correct username uses what was in the user name field.
Hey Renate:
I did use the spell check and grammar check on my outlook. I guess next time I will use the words checker.
Instead of attacking me why don’t you help me?
I am Deaf as in hearing impaired and my understanding of the English word is pretty good.
Sometime I have the habit of writing ASL as that is my first language next to English.
I am still going to post but if you don’t understand – just ask me to clarify myself instead of throwing mud at me like the McCain threw mud at Obama!
Did anybody catch the show last night? This morning, I checked my Tivo and noticed it recorded last night. Thank God I have a season pass!
Natural Redhead:
Tell your husband when he comes to Atlanta for business that he ought to check out Magic City. It is the king of the strip clubs.
But as for Strokers “it is over the top but personally I am not a big fan of it even though they have pretty good dancers but it I am more about the booty than the looks and did I tell you I am a sucker for woman with red hair? lol
OIC “ on the matter of Lisa’ kids (the ones that she has with Keith Sweat “ he prolly vetoed the idea)
I was amazed that you knew that I am fluent in ASL simply based on my writing and based on my announcement that I am truly deaf.
I’ve been getting a lot of flacks in the other blogs but I really appreciate your help a lot!
I have never been good with the tenses (present or past) because I don’t hear it when I speak/sign.
Anyway, hopefully next season would be more shows for the Atlanta Housewives.
When will The Real Housewives of Orange County be coming back on Bravo???
I’ve heard there this young lady married to a Grandpa-looking millionaire dude. And I think Vicky isn’t/won’t like that crap at all!
\|ii| my housewives of the ATL… especially NeNe
Deliciously Renate: I try to write with exuberance all the time!
One more thing – I isn’t scared of Sheree – but she have so much hatred in her blood that a real good man (with money)would steer far away of her due to the fact she is insanely facetious as an Eartha Kitt!
\|ii| n happiness!
It’s not that most of the wives are black that makes me think they aren’t especially attractive. Kim is probably the least attractive of the group, and the oldest-looking. I think it is the wives’ habit of wearing clothes that are a size too small for them, piling on the makeup, over-processing their hair with unnatural colors, and generally acting stupid, drunk and obnoxious. Lisa is the prettiest of the bunch, but I see girls that pretty every day. She is a smart, ambitious woman, though.
When I mentioned “old looking,” I meant Kim, mostly, and also the “Girls Next Door,” Pam Anderson, and that type. They look at least ten years older than they are.
Sorry to be slamming Kim so much, but she kind of asked for it with her “singing” and her “spelling” this week.
Well damn … I can’t even fathom on where to start for last night show………
I will wait till it is posted….
It will give me more time to make sure all of my “i” and “t” are dotted and crossed. Also that it makes perfectly grammar sense for our resident Sheree – bka as Renate.
Let keep hope alive that Renata will be able to read my shyt cuz I don’t give a flying phuck! “Are you that small” j/k I am trying to be nice…….
One thing – Dwight needs a spinoff and he needs some lotions for them ashy legs!
My only beef with the show -the editors need to step their editing game up – because it was sure some awful editing last night imo!
Eric Snow is not playing for the Cavs this year, I beleive he has some part to play in the organization, not sure what.
And I saw a preview of Dwight’s new show- awesome. It takes place in his salon, the Purple Door, I think?
Hey there its Fiya Starta. The pole dance instructor from the episode. Yall are being way to hard on the girls, they were really a lot nicer than they come across. I think its funny the comments about the pole class. We taught pole and bootyshake. The networks chose to edit out the pole and keep the bootywork! It worked out great for ratings. But if you try to compare what we do to the ladies at Majic City and Strokers you should take notes. Because were the ones who teach many of those ladies how to do the tricks that they do in the club AND we teach everyday women how to please their man at home. Im sorry do you think the dancers train each other?? Better ask about somebody! go to you tube and put in fiya starta atlanta pole dance style and let me know if anyone in strokers did any of the tricks we did. Were not strippers, were not from Bankhead. I’m a personal trainer gone pole instructor and my assistant on the show is a pharmacist full time. Lighten up and get a clue! Girls just wanna have fun. You dont have to be a stripper to get busy on the pole! Happy pole!!
Tonight I came online looking for comments about RH of Atlanta. This recap is great…as are the comments. I look forward to the next recap which will include Sheree yelling over the phone to the seamstress that she has “ruined my joy!” or something like that.
All I know about being a designer I learned from Project Runway, and that’s not much. However, don’t clothing designers usually sew their own stuff? Failing that it would seem that one would want to work on site with the seamstress to create the look and get it right.
Sorry to comment before the relative recap.
I thought I would go mad with Kim’s singing, but I feel better now.