Well, we’ve finally reached the end of the parkway on the Real Housewives of New Jersey. But before we close the chapter on Season 4, we’ve got a few loose ends to tie up at the Reunion. We have of course been spared the most dramatic histrionics for last. Also, the appearance of Kim D., but I can only guess they were sorting out last minute licensing issues related to weave she stole out of Bret Michaels’ dumpster and glued on her head.
We start off with more fighting between the Brown Smurf and – well, all the ladies. But mostly Jacquee, who is accused of having met Chris while working as a stripper in Vegas. This is later corrected to a verrrrrry carefully phrased “trade show in Chicago”, which is obviously not a cover for stripping – everyone knows it’s hookers who work the trade show circuit.
We touch upon the Guidice marriage, which Ter assures us is just fine and the fact that Brown Smurf is most likely headed to jail, which is another thing the Guidi don’t seem too concerned about.
Then the rest of the Jersey husbands come out for their moment in the sun, and you know what that means – more Gorga infighting. The argument over whether or not Ter called Mel a stripper just goes on endlessly. This fight is like a virus that won’t die. It’s the herpes of the RHONJ reunion.
Well, Melissa would probably know about that because Teresa says she used to be a stripper.
There are lots and lots of tearful Gorga accusations, declarations and rants. Mama and Papa Gorga are invoked.
Dina is also invoked, as we learn that in addition to Caro, Chris Laurita is also no longer speaking to Dina! Maybe Jacquee can secretly text with someone and tell us why.
And while we never actually get to the bottom of the “was Melissa a stripper” question, we do learn that Midge was a stripper! A Chippendales dancer, “in college”. Guess which part of that sentence I don’t believe.
And then, the scourge of the season – it’s the Reunion debut of Kim D. She quite casually accepts blame for setting up Mel, and also clears Ter for the most part, but no one cares about that. Bloodfeud first, questions later.
See you soon for the whole story…Kisses, CB