This week on The Real Housewives of New Jersey, it’s The Gay Wedding Episode, Part Two. In case you didn’t know it was gay, they show up at the ceremony in a horse drawn carriage. In case you didn’t know it was tacky, the horse drawn carriage pulls up in front of a two-car garage.
Of course, there is Teresa tabloid drama too. There she is on the cover of some rag, talking about how she was scared to be broke. Naturally, it becomes a federal case that takes over the entire wedding morning. Ter laughs it off with the logical conclusion that no one wants to be broke, so why not broadcast it at the checkout stand.
Of course the greatest travesty of all is Ter posing on the cover the magazine with her mortal enemy – a dog. I’m serious. Every single person who looks at the thing (and you know that’s everyone) wants to know what’s with the dog.
With tabloid tension high, everyone piles onto the party bus and heads out to the suburbs for the gay wedding event of the year. To everyone’s disappointment – especially Jamie who only even got married for a shot on TV, after all the buildup everyone managed to behave themselves at the event. What a failure.
We will now read our heartfelt speech from this computer. Then we will release some thousand dollar balloons that will take ten years off the ozone layer into the air. That’s how you know we really love each other.
Who are those guys? Ya know my cookbook’s on the bestseller list? Oh, and my brother texted me.
Seriously? This crap’s been dragging on longer than it took to kick Moonface out.
I was looking at Jacquee’s dress and now I have a headache. Gay Sidekick, procure me an Advil and then strangle me with this phone cord because IT’S THE ONLY WAY TO STOP LAUREN FROM ORDERING EVERY, SINGLE THING ON THE MENU.
Oh, and Teresa is despicable.
I wish this was my televised gay wedding. Word.
Back at the shore, it’s party time at Mel and Midge’s. They keep it sexy, but classy Mel explains haughtily. That means they all get wasted and have a whipped cream fight. Oh, all the kids are there too.
Un-classy people use the jumbo sized Apple Pucker for in this jungle juice recipe, but we find this type of rum gives it a more refined flavor.
Catch you on on the rest soon! Kisses, CB
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