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The Loosest A-Hole Here
Last night, The Real Housewives of New Jersey tipped their hat to the gays. Rosie came out of the closet to her niece and nephew, who fell out of their chairs in shock. Then Caroline and Teresa made their way to Chicago to attend Caro’s gay brother’s gay wedding in the back yard of their gay tree house. Then possibly gay Midget Joe gave us all a gay cock shot.
Rosie’s gayness was up first. Kathy talked about how hard growing up was on her poor sister, and I don’t doubt it because the editors threw in the most unflattering memory pics they could find. Rosie didn’t have an awkward phase as a kid like the rest of us. She just has one really long one that never ends. God bless her heart. Her life would be as difficult if she craved peen. I blame humidity and a mother that didn’t give proper bra education more than lesbianism.
The next gay storyline was the gay wedding. This was basically an excuse to watch Juiced up Joe make offensive gay jokes while Teresa laughed and tried to convince America that her husband’s blatant homophobia is all in good fun. Doubtful, but it is definitely fun to watch. That guy’s a total prick and I hope Bravo finds a way to get cameras into prison for a Juicy spinoff, if only to edit in that “Greg has the loosest asshole here” comment over and over again as Joe stumbles around the yard dazed and bleeding after a caught on camera gang rape.
There was more than just gayness, though! We also found out that Lauren collects those neck pillows you get for plane rides. That’s one way to make your head look smaller, I guess. Points for creativity!
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