Well dolls, this is it. This journey has taken us through nearly an entire year – literally, three seasons have changed since we started on this journey. Can we even call it a RHONJ “Season” anymore? But we’ve finally reached the end of the road. Welcome to the finale of all the finales…Real Housewives of New Jersey, Reunion Part 3.
So, here’s the part where I had planned on congratulating us on getting through it together, doing the victory lap, high-fiving all you beautiful commenters along the way…but here it is, over a week later, and I’m more like limping to the finish line in some old Z. Cavariccis.
So let me say now, before we go any further – thank you, my loves. The ‘Gasm is a labor of love (i.e., unpaid), so knowing that you’re out there, reading this, hopefully being entertained or at least somehow engaged…it means a lot. Special thanks to those of you who take the time to comment, and special thanks with kisses on top to those of you who take the time to comment and say nice things about moi. Xoxo.
And now, back to the Borgata! I feel like there was some kind of branding deal in place here, because we are constantly reminded that we are at the Borgata at the start of each reunion. And after each commercial break. Of each reunion. Of all three reunions.
Just in case this wasn’t enough to make you weep for humanity – why not head to the overpriced casino where broke people are buying $500 bottle service?
And we’re right back into it. Wait, where did we leave off? Were people fighting? Yes, I’ll go with that one. People were probably fighting.
So now, Andy is telling Caro that she made some “pretty bold statements” about Ter and her marriage to the Brown Smurf. “Something might happen when someone has to go somewhere…,” starts the Prophet Caroline in her flashback, followed by her psychic prediction that “there’s a book in there somewhere – you heard it here first”.
A different book than mine, though – Stirred Shit Soup For The Pompous Soul.
Andy wants to know if Caro stands by that comment, and she offers to “break it down” for him. She proceeds to explain that she was speaking hypothetically, if they were to get a divorce. So, do you think they’re getting one or not? Don’t try to confuse us with tricky backpedaling, you’re not that clever.
“Seems like you’re always hating,” comments the Brown Smurf. Meanwhile, Caro is haughtily insisting that she would never comment on the state of Ter and Smurf’s marriage, conveniently forgetting that we just watched her do it.
Delusion – it’s catching.
And Caro’s not taking any more responsibility than anyone else here today, so she just diverts it back to the old standard “you sold your story to the press” and therefore it’s open season on the state of Ter’s marriage and whatever else they feel like commenting on.
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