In the Bravo fakeout, we delve deeper into the life of Midge the stripper. Magic Midge, if you will. Andy wants to know if he ever came out as a fireman. Hm, wonder what Andy’s role-play fantasy might be? But no, it was just Midge and his elephant thong. The women used to fight for him, he informs us, and he made a couple of thousand dollars per night. Oh, and he did it working his way through college.
So, let’s scratch the cheap gold paint of this turd and talk about what is probably the truth.
1. By elephant thong means teacup poodle thong.
2. There’s no way he was doing this for women. I am grossed out by the greasy Joes but have recently learned that gay men love them.
3. Nobody’s raking in “thousands of dollars” at the strip club near the airport. Try “singles of dollars”
When we’re really back, hey let’s get back into whether or not Teresa called Mel a stripper! The topic hasn’t totally been beaten to death yet – it’s still on life support so LET’S KEEP AT IT.
Midge asks Ter about it, and then somehow their Dad gets thrown into it. Then Mel gets to the heart of the matter, and that’s that Ter could have stopped the stripper ambush if she wanted to. She didn’t have to drag Mel into the bathroom, with cameras, and confront her.
And I agree on that part, but I still don’t think it makes Teresa “in on it”. She just hopped on the train that was already speeding down the track. The Mel Used To Be A Stripper plotline was coming at us either way, courtesy of our good friends Kim D. and Andy Cohen, and if Ter hadn’t corralled Mel in the bathroom, Kim D. would have done it in public.
As for Mel, if she doesn’t want people knowing about her stripping or bikini dancing or whatever it was – well, sorry. Can’t go back and rewrite history. If we could, I would have already done something about all those clunky shoes in the 90’s.
Now it’s time for Andy to play host and jump back in to introduce the Posche fashion show recap – or as he so dramatically puts it, “The night that changed everything for good.” I’m expecting a lightning bolt to punctuate this grand declaration, but instead we just to to the tape.
It’s the return of the creepy sleazy guy, and everyone talking about how it was a setup. Back in the studio, Jacuqee is watching the clip and nodding with a smirk, like everyone talking about how it was a setup is all the proof she needs. Ter says that if Mel wants to blame her, then let her.
More yelling, this time I think it’s Mel and Midge carrying on about how Ter doesn’t really love her family, and Ter continuing to yell that she had nothing to do with it. Midge finally declares that he doesn’t believe Ter, but he’s willing to forgive her right now. This basically stuns Ter into silence.
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