Every Rose Has Its Thorn

Real World

By B-Side | Tuesday, September 27, 2005 | 12:19 am | 44 Comments

johanna_arrested I could sit here and tell you the reason why I’ve been so late with this Real World recap (along with Survivor) is because the Big Brother wrap party and a trip down to San Diego really screwed up my writing schedule, but I’d be lying. The simple truth is that I’ve spent the past five days in an Austin jail, serving a harsh sentence for one of the most unforgivable crimes in Texas: stealing a tulip from a bum. Yes, I admit it. I committed grand floral larceny. I have apologized to Tito for swiping his most lovely flower, and I’ve even paid the five dollars it would have cost for me to have bought it in the first place, but alas, a crime is still a crime, and so I spent nearly a week in the clink, reexamining my life, joining the Nation of Islam, and becoming so jacked, you wouldn’t recognize me.

Okay, so maybe none of that happened, but if there’s one thing the last episode of The Real World taught us, it’s that no flower robbery goes unpunished in Austin. Punch a guy in the face and break his skull? Eh, whatever. Snatch a rose from a homeless dude? That’s on par with a federal crime. Don’t mess with Texas. Or its flowers.This very eventful episode began with the unlikely sight of Rachel talking to an errant Eskimo. Oh wait, it was only Johanna. Sorry, she was wearing one of those furry hoods. Couldn’t tell. Anyway, the two were remembering the previous evening’s fun activities, which pretty much centered around Johanna shouting into the Austin night, “You’re such a loser!!!” followed by assorted bleeps and inaudible grunts. Yes, Joey was drunky, and as usual, ready to start fights. The next day, with a sober, if not cloudy, outlook, she explained to Rachel, “That’s me on Vvdka.” Also known as “normal.”

Eskimohanna

Luckily, Eskimo Jo had a lofty goal for that night: “I will only drink wine tonight. That will be my goal.” Or you could just not drink anything at all. You know, maybe give the ol’ liver a rest. Oh what am I saying? That’s like telling a cow not to moo.

Back in the mansion Danny was (yawn) fretting about Melinda. Seriously, just gag this guy with some duct tape and let him talk only if there’s another major tragedy. Nevertheless, he explained that he knows for a fact that he’ll be jealous when Melinda goes out, and furthermore, “I know for a fact that I probably can’t find a better girl out there. But…” BUT YOU’RE AN IDIOT. Or rather, an indecisive idiot. Danny told us, “I cannot see Mel as a girlfriend.” Which would explain why ten seconds later, we saw Melinda reading a letter that Danny had written saying, “Please understand that I still love you with all my heart. I miss you every second, but it’s something I have to do. But just know that I’m dying inside without you. I love you Melinda.” Yes, whenever I meet girls that can’t even see as my girlfriend, I tend to write them letters professing my deep, undying love. Of course, the big question arising from that letter is why does Danny actually “miss” Melinda? I mean, she’s in the next room. Wow, his mom’s death has really screwed with his separation anxiety. Cut to Danny writing a letter in a restaurant: “Dear Sue. Even though you just took my drink order, I sincerely love you and miss you every second that you stand over there at the bar, pouring my Diet Coke. I’m dying inside without you. Love, Danny.”

Well, because Danny couldn’t see Melinda as his girlfriend on account of the fact that he loved her with all his heart, he and Wes went out for a guys’s night out, a night that was “a giant leap for all the guys who are bitches out there,” said Danny and Wes. Not quite sure how it was such a giant leap, and were they saying they were giant bitches because they were going out, or were they going out on behalf of giant bitches? Either way, it was one of those dumb statements that give bloggers like me instant superiority complexes.

Now just because the guys were having a big night out didn’t mean the girls had to stay at home. Oh no. While the boys were at Treasure Island, the girls went too, you guessed it, the Dizzy Rooster! Yay! And accordingly, it was the perfect opportunity for Johanna to talk about her raging alcoholism. “I don’t think drinking is the problem,” she explained, “It’s just how much I drink.” Yes, I think that qualifies as “drinking.” You see, it’s not that she’s an alcoholic. It’s more like she acts like an alcoholic.

Well, while Johanna downed her self-imposed regimen of wine (because that’s never led a woman down an embarrassing, drunken path), Danny was busy securing the digits of some cutie girl at Treasure Island. And by “cutie” I mean she looked like a springer spaniel. Still, to each his own. Unfortunately, Danny’s romp with the canine set came to a swift end as — dunh dunh dunh — Melinda and the gals showed up. Yeah, that’ll happen when you only go to the SAME TWO BARS. Still, couldn’t have been that bad. Danny did just write her a touching letter that said “I still love you with all my heart.” Well, Danny loved her so much that when she showed up, he said the one thing every girl wants her boyfriend to say: “F*CK!!” Ah, it warmed the very cockles of my heart.

To be fair, Danny totally was justified in his frustration. After all, as we then watched footage of Melinda grinding on other girls with her ample, undulating bosom nearly pouring out of her top, we couldn’t help wondering, who would EVER want a girl like that hanging onto them? You know, tall, hot, blonde, undulating breasts, lesbian tendencies, warm personality, supportive friend. FEH!

We now interrupt this scene to take you live onto the streets of Austin where a major crime has just taken place. Yes, Johanna, in a drunken fit, had stolen a rose from a homeless man and run away. Luckily, the fine men and women of the Austin Police Department detained this thief shortly thereafter, and what did she have to say? “I took a rose, and I ran with it.” Book ‘em, Danno!

Yes, Johanna actually got arrested on charges of public intoxication, and as Wes noted, “Jail is not a fun place to be.” He then added, “Unless you’re like me and like taking it up the ass. But that’s just a personal preference.” With one of their roomies now behind bars, back at the house Lacey tried calling up the police to get Jo-Jo out. Unfortunately, she wouldn’t be allowed out for several hours. Hmmm… there’s got to be a way to get her out. Surely Lacey can break her out with the Power of Pale! Quick! To the Pasty-mobile!

Luckily, Tweedle-dee and Tweedle-dum (a.k.a. Wes and Danny) were on the case. “Joey’s in the slammah!” explained Danny, and moments later, we watched as he and Wes piled into a cab and headed to the jail. Meanwhile, on the ride over, the two guys gave each other props for successfully procuring the numbers of many an ugly girl at the local bars. Danny in particular was happy about hauling in three numbahs. “It’s fate, dude,” said Wes. “It’s fate. That basically just told you that you made the right decision.” I’m not really sure how getting those numbers clarified anything, but I can’t fight Wes on every dumb, illogical statement he makes. So we might as well go with it.

chaingang Anyway, the guys eventually arrived at the jail where they too made no progress, but at least we got to see some guys standing out front, literally wearing those old-fashioned prisoner outfits. You know what I’m talking about – big chain-gang stripes, like the Hamburglar. Actually, that kind of raises an interesting question: was the Hamburglar in a chain gang? Really darkens his whole backstory, huh?

At the house, Lacey decided to call Leo to inform him of Johanna’s arrest. There really was no point in the call, but because the Lace-meister just loves to gossip and stir up trouble, we’ll let her do her thang. As for Danny and Wes, they returned all feisty and shitfaced, and soon they began joking about all the numbers they had received over the course of the night. Well, this understandably pissed Melinda off, and we knew we were in for a real treat as we cut away to rain falling in a puddle. Oooh! Mood shift!

Yes, Melinda was crying in her bed now, but luckily, she had the doting attention of Lacey and Rachel (but not Johanna. Jail, remember?) who comforted her with gentle support. Lurking at the door, however, was Danny who quietly eavesdropped as Melinda dismissed his whole letter, saying it was bullshit. Uh oh. Did I mention this rain was part of a thunderstorm? We all know what that means in Bunim/Murray-ese. Rain = sadness. Thunderstorm = FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

Well, Danny went off on Melinda for bashing his letter. “I didn’t come home with a girl!” he yelled. And so you see, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, that Danny is certainly an upstanding citizen. Unfortunately, Mel wasn’t convinced, citing exhibit A, the number on the back of Danny’s hand. “Do you see the numbah?!?!” he asked incredulously. Apparently Melinda was wrong about this one because that “numbah” actually belonged to Wes. Still, she pulled the whole that-letter-feels-like-bullshit card again, causing Danny to retort, “Oh, it feels like it??” Yeah, why would Melinda ever say that? Just because Danny told us that he couldn’t see Melinda as his girlfriend and just because he called his one night away from her a “giant leap for all the guys who are bitches out there,” and just because he greeted her at the bar with “F*CK!”, why the hell would she ever say his letter felt like bullshit? How could she even pick up that vibe??

Melinda then questioned Danny about the other number on his hand (the one from the springer spaniel chick): “Is that Wes’s phone number too?” she asked.

“Actually, it’s, uhhh, Nehemiah’s,” replied Danny (nice save, bro!).

“Okay,” said Mel, “and Nehemiah didn’t have a hand or an arm or anything to write on too?”

Best response ever: “Turns out he didn’t.” Oh no!!! What happened to Nehemiah’s arms?!?! Was there some awful woodchipper incident we haven’t seen? Was he drawn and quartered in a Dizzy Rooster body shot gone wrong? Do tell!

Nevertheless, with Mel having called out his shit, Danny had nothing else to do but rant and rave throughout the house, slamming the curtain behind him as he left Melinda’s room. Oooh! He SLAMMED the curtain! A most violent and assertive gesture! Second only to kicking a dust bunny and punching a hole through a tissue! You showed HER, Danny!

Take THAT, curtain!

“If she wants to be like that, I’ll do my own thing,” he lamented to the household. Um, wasn’t that exactly what you were doing? Ah, but he had more: “Sorry I took a day off!” Hey Danny, I hate to break this to you, but you don’t really take “days off” from relationships. Or even friendships. Unless, you know, you suck. I mean, how would you like it if one day your short-brimmed caps decided to take a day off from you? You would be hurt, yes?

With all this hoopla going on, we almost forgot Joey in the “slammah,” but luckily she called in, and when Lacey answered it, she immediately said, “Be glad you were in jail because you missed so much crap, it’s not even funny.” Wow, the implication there was that jail was actually worse than being in the Real World house. Now that’s pretty damn bad.

Speaking of bad, it was time to get back to the Danny/Melinda storyline, and the next morning, Danny moaned, “I hate drama, Mel.” Well, it’s a good thing you don’t create it with your incessant waffling on this stupid relationship… Nevertheless, Melinda basically told Danny that he was coming at her with so much uncertainty, that of course there was going to be drama. Ah, but Danny refuted this: “Did I say, ‘Mel, I need a break from you’?” Um, I’m pretty sure you just ‘fessed up to having taken a “day off,” so you might want to try another approach, dawg.

Sure enough, that’s exactly what he did. “You don’t have to protect yourself from me, Mel. Get over it!” he said. Yeah, get over it, you stupid, unable-to-deal-with-mental-toying bitch. Amazingly, the person who apologized through all this was Melinda, who blurted out, “I’m sorry,” and with that, the music suddenly changed to some upbeat ditty and everything was just grand once again. Huh?

As for Johanna, Leo picked her up, and when the two returned home, Lacey actually hugged Leo first. You know, because he’d spent such a rough night in Not Jail. Johanna meanwhile moaned, “Why meeee???” Yeah, why her? Oh wait, I know. Because you are a DRUNKEN MESS.

Luckily, Johanna was able to learn a very valuable lesson: “Obviously, hello, don’t steal a flower from a freakin’ homeless person vendor.” Yes, for those of you who feared that The Real World had lost its grasp on the reigning social issues of our day, along comes an episode like this to remind us that we should Just Say No to flower robbery. Pedro who?

As the episode came to an end, Johanna and Leo cuddled up and talked about the future. “What am I supposed to do? Not drink? That’s not going to happen,” said Joey. Listen, I hate to be the voice of reason, but, um, YOU JUST GOT ARRESTED. Maybe lay off the wine spritzers for a night. These cops need a night off once in a while.

In the closing moments, Wes and Danny ridiculed their jailbird roommate, and I kid you not, Wes managed to make a carnation joke. Something like “Johanna was charged with Grand Theft Carnation.” Okay, okay, it was mildly amusing, albeit historically inaccurate (she stole a rose, not a carnation). What did you think about the episode? Should Johanna have been arrested? And is Danny toying with Melinda or is Melinda putting too much pressure on Danny?

Comments (44)
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44 Comments

1

zzzzzz

Posted September 27, 2005 at 5:33 am

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
…yeah, i’m watchin it again tonight.
2

goober grape rocks!

Posted September 27, 2005 at 5:43 am

I’m actually really glad Danny wears short brimmed hats. Have you all seen that FOREHEAD!!! Weeeeeird!
3

emily

Posted September 27, 2005 at 5:56 am

loved the hamburgler comment-i definitely was laughing so hard I snorted, much to the enjoyment of my students….

side note-i’m pretty sure the entire cast should be sterilized-the thought of Wes(or faux Abe if you will) procreating makes my heart hurt…
4

ali

Posted September 27, 2005 at 6:09 am

I was very disappointed that all Johanna did was steal a flower from a homeless person…I thought she actually did something worth getting arrested for! Oh well…

Haha, I was hysterical when Danny “slammed” the curtain. I guess it would be a scary thing if they actually had doors!

Wes…go away…
5

ralph

Posted September 27, 2005 at 6:46 am

I agree, goober. Frankendanny is doing us a favor with those short-brimmed hats. Emily, it looks like Wes and Johanna may be procreating soon!! Wes is the biggest goon I’ve seen on the RW, and he’s living in a dillusional world. I guess ignorance is bliss.
6

NB

Posted September 27, 2005 at 7:05 am

Each Real World cast usually gives us a truly memorable tooljob. Adam from Paris, Amaya from Hawaii, Beth from Los Angeles… the list goes on. Props to Bunim/Murray for giving us not one but two pantheon tooljobs this season (three if you count Rachel’s cotton candy ice cream-sending boyfriend). Wes, Danny, I salute your idiocy.
7

josh

Posted September 27, 2005 at 7:18 am

Stealing one of a homeless street vendors flowers is a pretty f#cked up thing to do.
8

mellymel

Posted September 27, 2005 at 7:49 am

Wes is going to be at a bar in Philly this week (I think) as a judge for a bikini contest. He is gross but stil probably get laid.

Along those lines of blond reality tools, I saw Anthony Fedorov Sunday, only because he lives a couple apartment doors down from me. He actually looks better than he did on AI.
9

Leah3t

Posted September 27, 2005 at 8:34 am

Now, I’ve never lost a parent, so I want to give Danny that benefit of a doubt. I might act weird for a few months if that kind of thing happened to me too. But that doesn’t mean this is a person worth trying to maintain a romantic relationship with!! Why does Mel keep giing him chances when there’s a whole city of corn fed hottie texans out there?
10

Emily

Posted September 27, 2005 at 8:51 am

I love the part about Nehemiah’s arm- was there a woodchipper incident?! Freakin hilarious.

I didn’t get to see this eppy, but this makes up for it. Much better than just watching. Thanks B-Side!
11

jash

Posted September 27, 2005 at 9:04 am

HAHAHA, love the danny letter writing. one thing is for sure though, he could take some lessons from martha stewart.

did anyone else think of johannas “solution” to her alcoholism was on par with that of landons? where johanna says she will ONLY drink wine, landon limited himself equally to 5 or 6 drinks a night.

poster children for moderation these “people” are not.
12

Tom

Posted September 27, 2005 at 9:44 am

Why again does Melinda like Danny? I’ve never seen him do anything even remotely likeable.
13

Greg

Posted September 27, 2005 at 9:53 am

Finally someon else is bothered by Danny’s forehead. Everytime it rains it looks like a cover for at least 50 people.
14

George

Posted September 27, 2005 at 10:12 am

Danny’s forehead makes him look like he’s a reflection in a freak mirror at the carnival fun house. Another typical douche with a smokin hot babe on his balls. we’re in a crazy world, people.
15

Jeebo

Posted September 27, 2005 at 10:16 am

I only get to see RW every now and then and I rely on your recaps to get my snort of the day, hilarious.
“Surely Lacey can break her out with the Power of Pale! Quick! To the Pasty-mobile!” LMAO, i’m sure the people sitting in the computer lab around me just LOVE my snorts and giggles as i read your recaps, thanks =)
16

livin large in cocoa marge

Posted September 27, 2005 at 10:20 am

Danny doesn’t have a forehead…he’s got a fivehead.
17

drum roll

Posted September 27, 2005 at 10:25 am

this is a photo if it were possible to genetically combine the cast from the real world.
http://www.nwo.dk/pic/fuck%20on%20first%20date.jpg
18

madeyoulaugh

Posted September 27, 2005 at 11:02 am

Not to sound insensative, but Danny’s head reminds me of some midgets heads. The kinda larger cranial area belowing out. I wonder if there is dwarfism in his family.

MYL
19

ha!

Posted September 27, 2005 at 11:03 am

OMG! your recaps are so HIGHlarious! thanks for making this rw season entertaing, b-side!
20

B-Side

Posted September 27, 2005 at 11:05 am

I like to think that I was on the anti-Danny forehead bandwagon early on.

In this post, I likened him to the alien in Alien. Granted, I didn’t specify that it was the forehead that made me feel that way, but seriously, think about it. Totally has the alien forehead.
21

like omg, you're the best, B-Side!!!

Posted September 27, 2005 at 11:25 am

Bro, you’re totally right about the head. People with dwarfism (achondroplasia) have a similar bone structure to their skull. How did he get on tv? ..and Wes, and Rachel, and Lacey?? I thought tv was for pretty people only.
22

lynn

Posted September 27, 2005 at 11:45 am

Eskimohanna…classic!
23

hollabackboy

Posted September 27, 2005 at 11:46 am

B-Side, I love your recaps! I was waiting on it all week. I knew it would be hilarious because this episode was a 30-minute punchline. She steals a flower? I thought she got into a streetfight or something. And as always, Johanna never takes responsibility for her drunken dumb-ass behavior. True sign of an alcoholic.

This cast is one of the most laughable casts. The only people that are likeable (IMO) are Melinda and Rachel & Nehemiah on occassion. Danny treats Melinda likes she’s nothing. I don’t know what she sees in him.
24

Emily

Posted September 27, 2005 at 11:59 am

Melinda’s a nympho (she said so herself) so she sees 5 months of free sex with Danny! That’s what she sees in him.
25

Michelle

Posted September 27, 2005 at 12:37 pm

I would much rather read these recaps than actually *watch* the show! I’m so over The Real World it’s not even funny. S.O.S. different season. Thank God B-side watches this crap so I don’t have to! Thanks for takin’ one for the team, B!
26

saralina

Posted September 27, 2005 at 1:34 pm

yesss!! i checked about ten times to see if this recap was up yet. i watched this episode with disgust over how stupid these people are. i can’t stand how wes, melinda, and danny talk in mixed metaphores all the time. (i noticed the mom on gastineau girls does this too) this real world is so bad. i keep blending last season with this season, the color schemes on the screen are the same and the kitchen is set up the same, i dunno. why are the houses turning into giant open spaces. also i thought i was watching a rerun at some parts because of the retarded melinda/danny relationship debate. it is so redundent, hello obviously danny doesnt want a girlfriend right now but at the same time melinda is hot and all about him. so instead of just being buddies who fool around danny writes her a 6th grade style letter, lame!! melinda is too insecure to just have a casual relationship she has to latch right on. i mean remember how “wild and crazy” she was acting in the first episode. i mean, no class dude. also she was trying to come across as a party girl but its just to impress guys and then go all whiny.
27

Amy

Posted September 27, 2005 at 1:39 pm

B-side… i think i love you. thank you so much for making me laugh so hard.
28

Sam

Posted September 27, 2005 at 6:16 pm

Unlike most, I actually like Wes as a character. Classic Wes lines such as “Grand Theft Carnation” and “I feel like robbing a bank” (while riding horses in the last episode) never get old.
Plus, he always has the standard fallback – “My name is Wesssss”

Hilarious Recap b-side.
29

ATCmurph

Posted September 27, 2005 at 6:32 pm

Why oh why do women even give Wes a second look???? Oh, yeah, it’s because some women have so little self esteem and such a need to be noticed that they’ll sleep with any old hideous little troll just to get on TV. EWWWWWW
30

Bob

Posted September 27, 2005 at 8:20 pm

Sweet Melinda
The peasants call her the goddess of gloom
She speaks good English
And she invites you up into her room
And you’re so kind
And careful not to go to her too soon
And she takes your voice
And leaves you howling at the moon
31

FishCooch

Posted September 27, 2005 at 9:15 pm

I don’t know about Danny’s forehead, but Johanna’s buck teeth give me the shivers. Fo Sho.
32

SkinnyJenny

Posted September 28, 2005 at 8:41 am

Thank you FishCooch for noticing Joey’s buck teeth! Geez! All of my friends are like, “No, I don’t see anything.” They are so bucking obvious.

Anyway, I think Nehamiah summed it up best a couple of episodes ago, when he said, “Wes is…not attractive.” How did Wes even get on this show? All the other people in the house are at least passable. Wes is just not attractive AT ALL!

As for Melinda: sure she latched on, but only because Danny is feeding her full of sh!t with that letter and stuff. She was totally there for him through his surgery and his mom’s passing, etc. Now he’s treating her like crap. Bottom line: He just wants to keep his wienie wet. So if he can’t go out and hook up, he can always come home and try to wake Melinda out of a drunker slumber to get a piece of ass.

Ok, that’s all I got. Except that Rachel is cute (I think) and she keeps going after ugly guys who wear lame basketball jerseys.
33

yadayadayada

Posted September 28, 2005 at 11:08 am

I have just stumbled on this blog, and with that said, you know I have a staggering amount of rant in me regarding RWA. SO much material so little time… Here’s what is bugging me the most. Does Danny own another pair of jeans or any leg attire for that matter? Must I be faced with having to look at the same pair of pants for the entire duration of the show??? Yes, I know the show was taped and the kids are probably all married or dead by now, but I say screw the Katrina Fund -Danny needs a new pair of pants and he needs them now. C’mon people are ya with me? Well I feel better already. I can only pray to God that Melinda grows a spine and becomes a walking vagina monster and screws everything in sight while Danny watches from the sidelines with his only pair of pants because he needs a beating.
34

ooogidy boogidy

Posted September 28, 2005 at 12:41 pm

Danny’s forehead is way worse than Johanna’s teeth. Although they may be a little crooked, it’s nothing a little cosmetic dentisty can’t fix. They are nice and white!! I think she is freakin adorable, and is reeeaaally selling herself short falling for wesssssss. Johanna, if your’e reading..holla! i’ll show you how a real man treats a woman.
35

Danielle

Posted September 28, 2005 at 2:27 pm

Good Lord, is it possible that MTV stick any MORE weather related background scenes in this show?! I think last Tuesday’s show had 11 minutes of the cast and and 19 minutes of pouring rain or sunrise shots.
Yes, Wes is unattractive and illiterate. However, I enjoy his retarded comments. He makes me laugh. And as for the whole Danny/Melinda saga…I feel her pain…I’ve been in that boat. She puts up with his bullshit and apologizes unecessarily because he’s fine and she wants his ass. Ah, cruel, cruel world…
36

anonymous

Posted September 28, 2005 at 3:04 pm

yadayada, I’m with you on hoping that Melinda cuts Danny off and really starts bringing the boys home….he is sooooooo trying to have his cake and eat it too.
37

bacardi

Posted September 28, 2005 at 3:20 pm

YAWNS!!!

All this build up for a stolen flower and the continuing Danny Melinda saga.

The re-cap was great though. As usual B-Side made something out of a nothing ass episode.
38

snuffaluffagus

Posted September 28, 2005 at 6:47 pm

Wow, people are really getting bored with the RW. Only 37 posts and this re-cap has been up for a couple of days now. I enjoy reading the posts as much as the re-cap. come on people!!! write some shit!
39

saralina

Posted September 28, 2005 at 8:41 pm

i love how wes changes his story on johanna according to how she is acting towards him at the time. such a wussy. it was funny how the episode ended with him saying how he has shown johanna that he will always be there for her, blah, blah, blah. he is such an idiot and thinks that he sounds smart. cant wait to see him in the rw/rr challenges, cuz you just know he’s gonna milk this stint for all its worth
40

SkinnyJenny

Posted September 29, 2005 at 7:18 am

I agree, saralina. Wes totally changes his attitude and story toward Johanna, just depending on how she’s treating him. One minute he’s all telling Nehamiah, “If she can play games, I can play them better.” (When she obviously wasn’t playing games — she, like the rest of the world, just thought Wes was ugly). And then the next minute he’s calling her a bitch (actually, screaming it across the house). And then the next minute he’s all, “I will always be here for her.” No. You mean you will always be there waiting for a moment of weakness when you can tap that.
41

the reverend

Posted September 29, 2005 at 8:26 am

Amen to that skinnyjenny!!
42

jenny

Posted September 29, 2005 at 12:32 pm

i justrecently your site and i just have to say well done. i spent two hours reading up on the real world and laguna beach (my guilty pleasures). they are two terrible shows but i can not stop watching. you are hilarious but whoever write desperate housewives-not as funny. ill be reading every week from now and thank you for spending the time to make me laugh.
43

WTF

Posted October 5, 2005 at 11:39 am

“And by “cutie” I mean she looked like a springer spaniel” HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
44

Holly

Posted October 5, 2005 at 9:29 pm

Johanna committed Grand Theft Carnation. *sigh* She seriously needs to check into rehab; and I don’t even mean that militiously. The girl needs help. But props to Wes for being funny on purpose.

As for Danny, he’s definitely more trouble than he’s worth–at least the version that’s presented to us. He has a lotta growing up to do. Melinda needs to grow a spine and stand up for herself. Why call him out on all his shit if you’re just gonna APOLOGIZE for NOTHING? That really made me sick…

Every Rose Has Its Thorn

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