Real World Brooklyn: Cage Dances and Furniture Flipping

Welcome back to the Real World Brooklyn. Today begins with a bummer. Katelynn’s bank account is overdrawn again. Volunteer work is great and all, she tells us, but she’s post-op. She needs cash. Sarah’s advice is to “hug it out”. “Hug it out?” Katelynn asks her, confused. What, no Entourage in cow country?

The ears are gonna have to wait.

Well, something tells me we’ll be returning to this drama at some point, but for now we tag along with Scotty for some more modeling pictures! Today’s high profile photographer is a chubby bearded guy who calls Scotty “man pretty”. And they put makeup on him for some of the pics. Really pretty! Scotty kind of seems like he knows what he’s doing. But I reserve final judgment until I see the contact sheets.

Uh oh K. Competition.

Back at the house, Katelynn and Scotty are giving each other massages and talking about how much they love each other and their friendship. That means it’s doomed. And then the postman comes! It’s an official invite to watch the MTV movie Pedro. I know it’s serious, and I’m sorry to be wrong, but for some reason, I start thinking Pedro! The Musical might have been an entertaining way to go.

Surprise, surprise, JD, this season’s gay, Cuban guy from Miami identifies with Pedro. Perhaps he was cast for this reason. They go to the screening, and some MTV lady gets up in front of the group and very self-importantly tells the group a little bit about what a pioneer Pedro was and a lot about what a pioneer MTV was for putting him on television.

Then they watch the movie. Everyone’s moved and sad. Then we meet Pete, an MTV suit in a suit and a baseball cap. That means he’s just gotten hair transplants. It’s the lamest look ever. Shave your head and be proud, Pete. “What’s your reaction?” he asks them smugly. The girls giggle and talk about needing a tissue box.

Let’s focus on this season’s tragedy.

But there are interesting reactions. Ryan points out that where he’s from, HIV is just a big city problem. And JD thinks that it’s perfect timing for the film, because people are starting to think it’s okay to have unprotected sex. I think he’s totally right and it’s pretty scary. But enough of the message, Pete wants the roomies to throw a screening!

Pete decrees that there should be two hosts for the screening. Chet immediately leaps at the opportunity. And then he tells us about it in an interview he’s done in a black vest, again with nothing under it. It doesn’t have the same shock factor as the lavender naked vest look, but I am shocked that he’d duplicate the look. Did he really think it was so successful the first time?

But forget about the wardrobe for a second, Chet’s got bigger problems. Well, I still think the naked vest look is his biggest problem, but he’s all upset because the roomies don’t want him to be the host! What? Are they serious? Don’t they know that’s what Chet does? He is a host! The host! He’s hosted web videos on unknown bands! What do they want, some amateur?

Well, they don’t want Chet because he’s never had sex. See, virginity really is good for nothing. Chet thinks it’s nonsense, but he’s an island. That’s right, even his boyfriend Ryan thinks he’s the wrong dude for the job. So Chet bitches about it all the way home, and then goes down to the gym to sulk about it.

Dear diary, I lost my CHET hat and am now going to kill myself.

Luckily, he has a sweet and caring boyfriend in Ryan, who comes downstairs to find out what’s wrong with Chet. Chet whines like a little a bitch, and Ryan tells him he’s being overly sensitive and it’s about the movie’s message, not their careers. “I know it’s about the message! But all of you telling at me ‘You can’t do this, Chet’ was really offensive to me!” Chet yells back, showing a very clear understanding of the whole message thing.

Back upstairs, the planning session is in progress. Ryan is presiding in the enormous cowboy hat, which makes it the best Real World meeting ever, in my eyes. The battle over who gets to be the host continues, and actually, we were so busy listening to Chet cry about it, I didn’t even realize that the two other people who wanted to do it were Katelynn and JD.

Ryan and his enormous cowboy hat come up with the brilliant solution to just have three hosts and call it a day. They decide that JD should introduce the film, because he can just do a “hey, I’m gay, I’m from Miami, so was this guy,” says Ryan, and checks it off his list. Chet takes another moment to tell us if that’s the way the house feels, then he guesses it’s okay for him not to do the intro.

Then they do some more planning, which is boring. The most exciting part is JD’s very misguided ensemble of pastel yellow hoodie and white karate kid headband. What’s with the stupid headband? I love when people try and make ridiculous fashion statements like this on reality TV to show how much style they think they have. JD’s gonna feel like an ass when he watches this in ten years. His adopted Chinese daughter’s totally going to make fun of him.

That’s a lot of really bad fashion at one table.

JD and Chet are in charge of finding a venue, so they get online to do it. Chet is immediately struck with the idea of Radio City Music Hall, which sounds like a terrific premiere venue for a made for cable movie about a made for cable reality show. They make some more phone calls. It’s not exactly riveting.

That night, Katelynn is doing her stripper dance for JD. She tells him she’s got a job opportunity to become a “go go dancer”. I’m pretty sure Katelynn’s not getting naked, and also she says something about dancing in a cage. Then Scotty’s friends show up from somewhere because, as it turns out, it’s Scotty’s birthday! They all get ready to go out, and just when they’re getting ready to leave and asking Katelynn whose car she’s going in, she breaks the news that she’s missing his roomie’s birthday party because she has to go pole dancing. Go go dancing. Whatever.

Katelynn gets to her icky cage dancing job, and the owner offers her “copious amounts of alcohol”, which she’s delighted to take him up on. Over at Scotty’s birthday party, his feelings are hurt that Katelynn has chosen a $75 cage dancing job over his birthday party. Well, when you’re broke, you’re broke and every little bit helps.

However, in the case of Katelynn, the big payday wasn’t all she was there for. She comes home and tells Baya how powerful she felt dancing above all those people. They looked like ants, she tells Baya proudly. It was great for her gender identity, she explains to us. Well, it could have been just as great for her gender identity the next night. Friends are important too, you know.

But I wanted to tell her about the fur coat and lipstick.

The next day, the house looks messy. Oh, we’re back to this again? We’re really doing two episodes about cleaning? And yeah, it appears we are. This time, the card table’s messy. Scotty yells about it and the girls laugh it off. Baya tries to tell him he’s going about it the wrong way. And then we get to the heart of the matter. Scotty’s upset that Katelynn didn’t come to his birthday party. Awww. “And she didn’t even say sorry!” he pouts.

Well, Katelynn seems to have other problems. She’s on the phone reviewing her bills with her Mom, and she’s really worried about money. “Well, just don’t let it get to you,” is Mom’s chirpy advice. Ummmm…thanks.

Meanwhile, in the pool room, Scotty is still complaining about Katelynn’s no show at this party. Ryan eloquently tells us “Katelynn is getting on the last straw on Scotty, and I’m taking a front row seat.” The girls go out, and Scotty asks Ryan if he wants to turn all the furniture upside down. Master Prankster Ryan tells him that’s a dumb idea, cause it will just look like a mess. But what would be a great idea in Ryan’s opinion is to move all the furniture into the girls’ room! How do they come up with these crazy hijinks?

JD comes home and laughs at the piled up furniture. Ryan and Scotty come up with some hiding out plan to make it seem like they weren’t the pranksters. But the girls get home and pretend love all the furniture in their room. “We love it, it’s fabulous, we’re keeping it,” Katelynn tells the boys. Ryan still thinks they’re pissed and still thinks he won.

Riveting television.

Back on the streets, JD is still on the venue project for the Pedro! The Musical screening. He decides that the best place is the Gay and Lesbian Community Center. Scotty and Devyn are in agreement. But Ryan, now that he’s lost the jumbo cowboy hat and all the reason that comes along with it, thinks that it would be too hard to get straight people into the community center.

Bottom line, it comes down to the center which is free and has a built in audience, or the New York Film Academy, which isn’t free. But majority rules, and majority votes for the film academy. Big decisions. Happy it’s resolved. The roomies run around and pass out flyers for their movie. I would like to point out that they’re handing out flyers in Brooklyn for a screening that will be taking place in Manhattan. Very smart marketing plan.

Still with me? Need to take a break and catch your breath from all the action? Okay, back at the house, Katelynn is exacting her revenge on Scotty for the whole furniture moving thing by flipping the kitchen chairs upside down. “Are you trying to piss Scott off?” Chet asks her. Then he tells her to carry on.

When Scotty gets back in the house, he’s pretty much not bothered by Katelynn’s dumb furniture flipping episode. But he decides to retaliate anyway, and locks all the dishes in the cupboard with what looks like a bike lock. “Act like a child, I’ll treat you like a child,” he says haughtily. How lucky his roommates are to reside with such a paragon of perfection. Come to think of it, we’re pretty lucky even to be watching.

Did that sound sarcastic? Cuz I totally meant it.

The next morning, the glow hasn’t worn off. Scotty sits in the kitchen admiring his handiwork with the bike lock. He and JD leave with some shopping carts, and back at the house Katelynn discovers the bike locks. She tells us he’s on a crusade, and he’s not the boss of the house. She tells us that her actions might be perceived as childish and insecure, but she doesn’t care. Okay, I’m all ready to perceive, what’d you do? All we get is a shot of is Katelynn putting some pool balls on top of a closet. That’s not childish or insecure, that’s just boring.

Then she starts moving the furniture out of her room. Then she and Scotty start having a fight about laziness. Then he gets down to the point and yells at Katelynn for not coming to his party. He tells her how disrespectful she is. Dev is in the phone room listening in, until she decides that she has to step in and start yelling about how Scotty’s having a temper tantrum.

Scotty’s carrying on about the point he’s trying to prove, Katelynn and Dev are yelling about something else, and then Dev prances back into the phone room and slams the door. Scotty wanders through the house looking for the missing pool balls, until Ryan comes home complaining that he couldn’t shoot today due to the “increment” weather.

Scotty proudly points out to Ryan that he “put the dishes away”. Ryan shakes his hand and tells Scotty that was very military of him. “Oooh, we should ration dishes for eight people!” Ryan then decides. Actually, that’s the best idea of all. That way the people who clean their dishes have dishes, and people who don’t, don’t. Problem solved.

Those cups are upside down. There’s gonna be a riot!

But of course, Katelynn doesn’t want her rationed dish. She wants to be able to use all the dishes in the house and have someone else wash them. So when she comes home, she continues the fight with Scotty about who’s more childish. Tough call. They somehow resolve the dishes situation, Katelynn returns the pool balls and peace is restored in the Real World Brooklyn house.

The next day is the big screening of Pedro! The Musical! They have a ton of food and drinks, Baya tells us. That’s great, but it’s ten minutes to start time…and there’s no audience. “What happened to all the people we gave flyers to?” wonders Ryan. They’re in Brooklyn dumbass, where you gave them the flyers.

They end up with not a whole lot of people at the screening. The guy who plays Pedro was a casting mistake. What the crowd lacked in quantity, they made up for in eating Subway sandwiches. Despite the low turnout at the screening, they don’t have any leftovers. Of course. People who wander into free movie screenings are totally going to shove like two extra sandwiches in their bags for later.

Hungry?

Back at the house, Katelynn’s still broke. Apparently, the cage dancing thing isn’t going to work out, cause the DJ got fired or some other flaky club crisis happened. Katelynn’s on the phone with her boyfriend and she’s telling him she can’t afford to stay there anymore, and has to leave the Real World house.

She breaks the news to Dev, and Scotty listens in. She tells them she’s leaving a week from Friday. Scotty asks her how much she needs. “Fifteen hundred dollars,” she says. She doesn’t want to ask anyone for the money because she doesn’t know if or when she can pay it back.

And Scotty tells her if fifteen hundred dollars is all that she needs to stay, then he’s got it. He writes her a check, tells her to put it in her wallet, and if she needs it, to cash it. Katelynn sobs, Dev tells him he’s wonderful not because he was trying do something amazing, but because that’s just the person he is, which is nice and also, in this situation, true.

Katelynn gives Scotty one more hug, sunshine and butterflies abound, and that’s all the filler they could find for this week. Next week, Ryan gets called back to Iraq. It looks political and dramatic, but here’s hoping someone gets drunk and has sex over it.

Oh, yeah. I forgot. Happy birthday, Scott.