Real World: The Other Woman

Real World

By ChickBomb | Monday, October 29, 2007 | 10:57 am | 51 Comments

Tattoo

This week on the Real World Sydney, Dunbar’s Girlfriend Julie’s coming! Dunbar’s Girlfriend Julie’s coming! For those of you just tuning in, I call her that cause…well, that’s how she introduced herself to us. He might have beaten her identity away. Let’s stow away in her suitcase and see…

We start off with a little Shauvon and David nonsense. He wants her to leave Sydney for the fabulous life in Sacramento. And she’s actually considering it! Now she’s not sure if she wants a career, she’s thinking she should probably just skip right to marriage and kids. KA tells her if she really loves David, that she SHOULD go home to him. Cow agrees. I cannot believe what I’m hearing. Did MTV hop in their time machine to 1955 to cast this thing?

But enough about that. The whole house is abuzz with the impending arrival of Dunbar’s Girlfriend Julie! Dumby tells us, for the first of about a hundred times, that she’s awesome. He wants to show her everything he can about Sydney. Yes, I’m sure Julie will absolutely love the kitchen and the inside of the phone room. Best parts of Sydney, no doubt.

Parisa’s in the kitchen in her favorite gold collared shirt…and what looks like grandma panties? Oh, come on, this is too easy. Dumby tells us if anyone starts anything with his girl, he WILL go off. Dumby doesn’t realize that not everyone shares his philosophy of other people simply existing as receptacles for anger. But whatever, Dumby and DGJ talk on the phone about how excited they are to see each other, they agree that they love each other and ring off.

Pillowkiss

Show me on this pillow where Dunbar’s Girlfriend Julie is gonna touch you.

And back in the kitchen, Dumby is wandering around shirtless with a physique that can best be described as mushy. Southern frat boys love their keggers. He tells us how he hates things dirty, while Parisa cleans up. Perhaps they are meant for each other after all. She asks him if he wants coffee, which somehow degenerates into them snapping at one another. See, they totally act married.

Parisa is “beyond excited” that DGJ is coming. First I’m thinking, don’t overdo it honey, we all know you still think you’re soul mates, but then she clarifies. DGJ is going to give him love, and he needs love, cause he’s all worked up. Parisa says she just wants Dumby to be happy and smiling and nice. Hope is a beautiful thing.

And then, hey Contiki! Where ya been? It’s been so long since we’ve heard about the “job”, that they remind is it’s a vacation package planning. KA is the team leader for the latest assignment, which is nightlife. Well, they only ever go to one place and that’s Cargo Bar. So, good for business at Cargo Bar, but if these poor Contiki package suckers are looking for a good time anywhere else, they’re fucked.

Cargomeeting

Is it time for lunch yet?

Trasha says they’re supposed to eat at different restaurants and recommend food. Different restaurants. Who are we kidding? She even looks confused when she says it. Dumby just hopes the group work doesn’t interfere with his DGJ time.

So, later that night, back in the kitchen, Dumby tells Parisa to be ready to go in an hour and forty-five minutes. But this doesn’t work for Princess P, who has to work out, and shower and change into one of her wallpaper patterned dresses to go out. Of course, it turns into another fight, culminating in Parisa telling us that she’s tired of being understanding of him. Finally! That guy’s been walking all over her since day one.

She hits the computer in her lovely dirt colored shawl, which we learn is actually a blanket, when Dumby asks her if she’s going to put it away. She sarcastically tells him, no, she’s going to leave it all over the house. Well, of course, dirt colored goes with everything.

And this is all it takes for Dumby to completely lose it, and ask Parisa if she’s going to puke in any more rooms. Hahahahah. Is she? That was one of the best Real World moments evaaaaaah! Then he goes off on her about cleaning. Which is a bit ridiculous, Parisa’s got neat freak written all over her. She calmly tells him to go ahead, keep yelling, and give himself a heart attack.

Princealarming

I’d like to think that in Mississippi they’re wearing t-shirts that say Dunbar.

Isaac, my favorite voice of reason in a jumpsuit, tells us that while they’re arguing about dumb stuff, it’s really about deeper stuff, like unrequited love. Proven, when Parisa tells Dumby that he should be thanking her for cleaning up the whole house for DGJ. “I wanted the house to be clean for your girlfriend,” she tells him. Seriously, who but the desperate would clean the house for the girlfriend of the guy who treats her like crap who she still has a crush on?

Either way, instead of being grateful for Marge’s Maid Service, Dumby twists it into telling her she never cleans up after him. She never said she did, meanie, she just said she cleaned up after everyone else for him. Everyone else sits around trying to ignore it. Partly cause it’s ugly, and partly cause they know they’re messy pigs, and better to just keep their mouths shut or no one will clean. Dumby heads off to the workout room and does about three pull-ups, which is all his squishy arms can stand.

Later, in the most fabulous bathroom in Sydney, Dumby is getting ready to go out. I find it fascinating that his first order of business in dressing is to plant that dirty trucker hat on his head. And while he does so, Trasha pokes her head out of the shower to tell him that she doesn’t know what his argument with Parisa was really about – who does? – but that Dumby was out of line. Go Trash!

Trasha wants to stick up for Parisa and all women. Ooooh, there I’m drawing the line. She’s growing on me, but I still haven’t elected Trasha’s Girl Code as my party of choice. But still, cool of her to stand up. Would Parisa have stuck up for Trasha I wonder, or raced to Dumby’s side? She tells him that even if he’s not sorry for what the fight was about, perhaps he should just apologize for how he handled it. Damn, I am starting to like this bitch. What happened? But, of course, Dumby says that he can’t apologize. He just can’t.

Butilovehim

How do you get tear stains out of rayon?

Parisa calls her Mom to tell her about the latest Dumby drama, and her Mom tells her that he has no right to speak to her that way. If you let a man yell or scream at you, you’re letting them abuse you, she tells Parisa, and that’s your own fault. Well, not really. She does need to stand up to him, but it’s hardly Parisa’s fault Dumby’s a jerk with displaced anger problems. She’s only ever trying to be nice to his Grandpa molested ass.

And then, it’s the moment we’ve all been waiting for…the arrival of Dunbar’s Girlfriend Julie! But wait! He’s meeting her at the house? The girl travels twenty hours on a plane to see him, and he can’t even get his ass to the airport to pick her up? I remember Dumby telling us way back when that he’s a “Southern Gentleman”. Well, he wasn’t waiting for her with the belt, I guess that’s as gentlemanly as he’s gonna get.

DGJ alights from the cab with her hair scrunched up in a bun, and a plain white headband. She’s going for the I’m-Just-About-To-Wash-My-Face-Before-Bed look. OK, I get that it’s a long flight and all, but did she not realize that she was going to be meeting up with her boyfriend who she hadn’t seen in weeks? ON CAMERA? Come on girl, I know Mississippi doesn’t do Vogue, but get it together.

Dgj

Woah, easy on the eyebrow wax.

They have a sweet reunion though, and he does carry her bags into the house. She has that ugly fabric small print soft bag that they sell at every airport in the South. Oooh, perhaps we can whip up a matching dress for Parisa? Nah, she likes bolder prints. Dumby’s got his sunglasses perched on the back of his neck…yet another Real World fashion trend that I have yet to understand.

When they get inside, Dumby mumbles an introduction to Isaac, and Isaac’s friend Leah. Leah looks like Pam Anderson. I’m surprised we haven’t heard about her, given the last time Isaac got laid he was having billboards designed, and this Leah’s a friendly type who definitely looks like she’s putting out. And I’m sorry, but is he wearing 3-D glasses? Well, I’ve been liking Isaac lately, so I’ll just give that one a “hmmm…quirky.”

Doctorissac

This is what will happen if you vote for socialized medicine.

The first thing Dumby tells DGJ is how bad he went off on Parisa the night before. But it was no worse than you’ve seen me do, he quickly reminds her. “So you ventilated,” commented DGJ. Well said, Jules. Props to the Mississippi school system. But Isaac begs to differ, and reminds Dumby of the veins popping in his head. And then tiny little Cow skips in to meet Dumby’s “chick”.

Dumby and Dunbar’s Girlfriend Julie go to the beach. DGJ has a cute little body, but what’s with the white headband? I’m a headband girl too, but this one looks like a bandage from the Sears collection. Dumby tells us she lightens him up. That’s sweet.

That night they go out to dinner. DGJ’s found herself a dress and some makeup, and now we have something to work with. Dumby tells her he thinks he’s the least selfish person in the house, and looks to DGJ for confirmation. She tells him he’s not selfish, just opinionated, and that’s two different things. Is DGJ clever, or is she really, really dopey?

Talkparisa

It’s romantic how you talk about Parisa so much.

Dumby tells us he’s been told to never feel or care about anyone more than yourself. That is some sad upbringing. But then he says he can’t do that. He loves Julie. Awwww, cute. I believe it, too. After dinner, they snuggle in bed together. DGJ asks him how good it feels to “spoon”. Dumby thinks it’s awesome. “Just wait til we fork,” DGJ teases. Good one, DGJ! Clever it is!

Then we have some more lame Shauvon and David crap. Isaac and Trash tell her it’s not right. Then we hear sad piano music and see some rain, so we know what’s coming. It’s David and Shauvon (In her cheap sunglasses. At night. In the rain.) talking on the phone. He’s swearing at her and telling her it doesn’t seem like she’s doing anything to get home. Well, she’s considering it. Even that’s too much.

Shauvon asks David if he only loves her if she comes home now, what kind of love is that? Exactly. But honey, this zebra ain’t changing his stripes. I love you more than anybody, he whines. And I don’t feel that you really want to come home, he continues. She doesn’t. But for some stupid reason, she still wants him.

Back to the Contiki project. They have to do some lunches and dinners, but it’s hard to get the group together. Which of course is everyone’s fault but Dumby’s, and of course makes him yell at Parisa for the horrifyingly awful sin of saying the mini mall where they have chosen to have lunch looks nice. It’s Thai Express by the way. Cause everyone knows that chain Thai restaurants are the best way to experience Australia.

Thaiexpress

How bout a romantic dinner for two at Hot Dog on a Stick?

At lunch, Dumby is sandwiched between DGJ and Parisa. When the bill comes, Dumby calculates his share, and Parisa agrees, prompting Dumby to snidely comment, “I can count!” Then he looks at DGJ as if to say, “You see???”

But the polar forces in the other hemisphere seem to have messed with DGJ’s brainwashing. Later, in the kitchen DGJ tells him he can be mean sometimes. Nosey Parisa is listening in, and when she hears this, she laughs loudly and hysterically and yells, “I love Julie!” Too much, Marge, too much.

“I have never been mean to anyone in this house.” Dumby declares. “Such a lie!” is Parisa’s response. She tells Julie that because he talks to her on a certain level, he thinks that creates a closeness that allows him to also be an asshole to her. It’s wife beater logic, and I don’t buy it any more than Parisa does. And guess what? DGJ doesn’t either!

KA tells us she has respect for Julie. Reason being, “if she can put up with Dunbar, she’s gotta be a pretty cool girl.” Or a future resident or the women’s shelter. KA, you were cuter when you were talking less, cupcake.

And finally it’s time for Dunbar’s Girlfriend Julie to go home. How the time flies. Dumby is sad. He says he wants to cry…on the inside. Oh, on the outside too, Mr. Repression, just admit it. DGJ gives everyone in the house big hugs goodbye, and I will say she seems like a very sweet girl. And, and good influence on Dumby. I know, I talk shit on him like crazy, but the dude’s had a tough road. He needs a sweetheart.

Chinkiss

And a better aim.

BUT WHY THE HELL CAN’T HE DRIVE HER TO THE AIRPORT???? Once again, she’s on her own to find her way out of the country. Probably just handed her some bus fare and sent her off. And as soon as she’s gone, Mean Dumby is baaaaack! Something about a receipt for the Thai restaurant. I’m exhausted just watching it. Of course, it’s 100% Parisa’s fault.

Later, when they get to the Contiki office, Dumby’s still on the Thai lunch receipt. The New Marge tells him not to speak to her like that, especially at work. “Let me talk like you,” he mimics. Ooooh, I really hate that. So rude. He caps it off with a classy, “Shut the fuck up,” and Parisa walks out! Good for her! Rise above!

Parisa walks out on Dumby, and right over some Contiki boss named Chris to tattle. He screamed and attacked me and I don’t feel comfortable with that kind of aggression. I feel threatened, she continues. Contiki Chris makes Dumby apologize, which I kind of enjoy, even though it couldn’t be more obvious that he doesn’t mean it at all. “I’m sorry for using that word,” he carefully states. Heart. Felt. Not.

Youbettersay

You better say you’re fake sorry or I’m gonna fake fire you from this fake job.

See, it’s like they’re in marriage counseling. I wonder if Dumby and Marge did it, would it chill things out with everyone? Would make for great drama, that’s for sure. They have my vote! Parisa says she wants to wipe the slate clean, but Dumby says she’s more outwardly hostile to him than anyone else in the house. Ummmm, really? I think after the last two weeks, Trasha wins the Outwardly Hostile Award from Parisa. Unless the Real World is playing some Hills-esque editing tricks with the timing of this thing.

“I am the emotional person I am in real life,” Dumby informs us. I’m so tired of the “I am how I am and I’m not going to change” song. It’s OK to change, you know. Especially if you’re a big jerk and everyone notices. Then it’s actually kind of a really good idea.

“I don’t attack, I retaliate,” he continues defiantly. Soooo not true. What is he retaliating against? Parisa’s cooking? Her shower singing? Cleaning? Wallpaper pattern dresses? Well, OK, that I’d have to “retaliate” against too. You know how I hate crimes of fashion.

We end with Contiki Chris reminding the couple in crisis that it’s a work relationship. Oh, no it’s not. That’s why we’re watching. The Thai Express receipt is such a metaphor for sex. I’m not sure how, exactly. But I know it is.

Couples

You only give ten percent and you expect a free cookie afterward?

Next week, more Shauvon and David drama, and we also get back to the country lovin’ with KA and Cow! That I’m excited about cause it looks like KA may be a cheatin’ heart. See ya then!

About

51 Comments

  1. 1
    BonaFide
    Posted October 29, 2007 at 11:54 am

    “And this is all it takes for Dumby to completely lose it, and ask Parisa if she’s going to puke in any more rooms. Hahahahah. Is she? That was one of the best Real World moments evaaaaaah! ” Are you kidding me, ChickBomb? I’d really like to know why this qualifies as one of the best Real World moments ever.

    “Seriously, who but the desperate would clean the house for the girlfriend of the guy who treats her like crap who she still has a crush on? ” ChickBomb, why do you assume that Parisa is still crushing on Dunbar, and why is it “desperate” to be nice to someone who is being mean to you? It’s called “taking the high road”. Is it really that difficult to believe that Parisa would clean the house in preparation for ANY guest, not just Dunbar’s guests? The fact that she cooks and cleans is probably a result of her multi-cultural upbringing and not because she is desperately in love with Dunbar.

    All in all, a good recap. I enjoyed it. Just one note: Parisa provides you with ample material to make fun of her, so there is no need to overstate her feelings for Dunbar or your enjoyment of Dunbar’s Parisa-attacking diatribes.

  2. 2
    bakismaki
    Posted October 29, 2007 at 12:03 pm

    This was probably the most boring episode of the season so far. Not much to comment on in this one.

    Dunbar’s girlfriend was surprisingly normal and seemingly nice. I don’t know I just figured Dunbar would have a girl with a nasty tude.

    My only other comment is that Shauvon’s boyfriend sounds really whiny and needy. I know your in love with the girl but making her get out of “real world,” for you just cries of someone selfish and needy.

  3. 3
    nflow
    Posted October 29, 2007 at 2:33 pm

    For some reason this generation of girls are setting the women movement back to the 50′s. It seems a lot of shows promote this idea of the docile, house wife female role, don’t get me wrong there is nothing wrong in choosing that life style, except I have noticed a rise in abusive relationship among young people see chase and taylor from newport harbor, heidi and spencer, lauren and jaon, lauren and stephen, entire cast of real wives of orange county just to name a few.

  4. 4
    pachita
    Posted October 29, 2007 at 3:00 pm

    I’ve gotta say – after all the back and forth about Parisa last week – that she was just plain annoying this episode. Especially when D and J were talking in the kitchen and every single time he said something Parisa would turn around a shriek about it.

    Great recap chickbomb!

  5. 5
    Mattypopo
    Posted October 29, 2007 at 3:45 pm

    Shouldn’t you women be doing less bicth’n and more cook’n? The only time I want to hear complaing is when you complain about how you don’t brin me my pancakes fast enough!

  6. 6
    isharma
    Posted October 29, 2007 at 3:54 pm

    I love the fact that even when Parisa’s got a point, you find a way to ridicule her, ChickBomb. It’s really quite refreshing.

    But I did like that belt comment for Dunbar, it made me laugh :]

  7. 7
    BettyB
    Posted October 29, 2007 at 4:53 pm

    still miss B-side. He made me laugh at his re-caps. Nice try to fill his shoes though Chickbomb.

  8. 8
    davetvs
    Posted October 29, 2007 at 5:23 pm

    “isharma:

    I love the fact that even when Parisa’s got a point, you find a way to ridicule her, ChickBomb. It’s really quite refreshing.

    But I did like that belt comment for Dunbar, it made me laugh :]”

    Seriously, ChickBomb. I don’t know if you read the comments from your last entry but a lot of people are tired of your constant Parisa bashing. Of course, it’s perfectly acceptable to dislike someone but your all-the-time-catty remarks about her are bordering on obsessive. Seriously. There are much dumber people in the house than she, and GASP OMG she doesn’t dress like a Californian ho! Burn her at the stake! I don’t want to stop reading your recaps, CB, but it’s getting to be a little much.

  9. 9
    davetvs
    Posted October 29, 2007 at 5:33 pm

    …But now that I finished reading the whole recap, I’m glad you decided to finally cut her some slack.

  10. 10
    iluvcraptv
    Posted October 29, 2007 at 8:17 pm

    WHO LEAVES NEGATIVE COMMENTS BEFORE READING THE RECAP??????

    Chickbomb, you are hilarious, your comments were fair and accurate, keep up the great work!

  11. 11
    jozeyg
    Posted October 29, 2007 at 8:33 pm

    exactly………if you don’t like what Chickbomb writes, then why even bother to comment??

    She’s recapping the show, not you. Chill

  12. 12
    joeydoll
    Posted October 30, 2007 at 1:40 am

    I have come to the conclusion that chickbomb wants to be Parisa, because she utterly obsessed with this girl.

  13. 13
    EZ Rider
    Posted October 30, 2007 at 9:11 am

    Ugh. Already starting up again with the “don’t read stuff you don’t like” logic. Grand.

    I thought Julie was hot. Maybe a little excessive on the eyebrow wax yes, but still cute and a sweet, sweet rack.

    Shauvon is pulling the same move my mother does… wear sunglasses when there’s a chance you’ll shed a tear. I don’t know if it’s about being seen with drippy makeup or just not showing weakness, but that is why she wears her sunglasses on the phone with David.

  14. 14
    IsabellaTheCat
    Posted October 30, 2007 at 11:06 am

    jozeyg: Let me see if I understand this… are you saying we are not allowed to criticize the recapper? Are you afraid we will hurt their little feelings? And what is with the “if you don’t like it don’t read it” crap. We read the recaps so that we can comment on the show (and sometimes we comment on the recapper). If ChickBomb can dish it out then she should be able to take it. I happen to like her recaps. I just don’t understand the complete and total animosity she has for Parisa. The insults regarding her appearance are really over the top. Most of the anti-Parisa comments are just cheap shots at an easy target. There is a whole house full of idiots over there. Spread the venom around a little bit.

  15. 15
    jozeyg
    Posted October 30, 2007 at 11:50 am

    I didn’t say ‘if you don’t like it, don’t read it’

    I said if you don’t like how Chickbomb recaps the show why keep commenting?

    Everyone says the same thing how she always says bad things about Parisa and she needs to stop. K, we heard it before. And guess what? She’s still talkin about Parisa.

    That’s what she likes to write about, so why even continue to keep talkin about it. Find another subject to complain about.

    That’s my 2 cents. =)

  16. 16
    Chee-Z-TeeVee Addict |
    Posted October 30, 2007 at 12:04 pm

    @jozeyg:

    I am saying if you don’t like how we comment why keep commenting?

    You say the same thing how we always says bad things about ChickBomb and we need to stop. K, we heard it before. And guess what? We’re still talking about ChickBomb.

    That’s what we like to write about, so why even continue to keep talkin about it. Find another subject to complain about.

    That’s my 2 cents. =)

  17. 17
    jozeyg
    Posted October 30, 2007 at 12:16 pm

    to Cheezy:

    that’s cute what you did there……switched my words around. hehe

    But, it’s like you guys are the type of customers that complain about the service at a restaraunt but you continue to go there! There’s no point.

  18. 18
    mattypopo
    Posted October 30, 2007 at 12:27 pm

    Cheez-hyphen-idiot,

    I am so f___ing glad that you did not tell everyone about the BIG M this time, thanks. It was such a pathetic attempt for a pitty party, I am sure you wanted everone to write back “Oh no Cheez! that is awfu! If there is anything we can do let us know.” Pathetic. . . . just ike Parisa which reminds me. . .

    . . who gives a crap if she disses Parisa. She sucks, and yeah so do the rest of them, but Parisa almost has the foundation not to be a lobotomized koala, ye she continues to try to goosestep with the rest of her housemates.

  19. 19
    Chee-Z-TeeVee Addict |
    Posted October 30, 2007 at 12:35 pm

    About a year ago, there used to be an exceptional waiter serving at a restaurant. His waiting techniques were so good that he made us love food we otherwise might hate, but then he resigned, and we were crushed. Today, the service at that restaurant is good, but not as good as it once were, but we continue to go there because we harbor the hope that another waiter could come along and give us as good service as we used to have. We express our dissatisfaction with the current service by filling out comment cards, and we hope our comments will inspire our current waiter to provide us with better service.

  20. 20
    Abby
    Posted October 30, 2007 at 2:01 pm

    That seems a little unfair, Cheezy. If a waiter is providing you with good service, it seems mean to complain about them just because you once had a phenomenal server. If they are doing a good job, I think you should leave them alone. Waiting tables is very hard work, and when I used to do it, the majority of complaints came from people who never waited a table a day in their lives.

    Anyway, one of my favorite things about CB’s recaps is her constant Parisa bashing. I really don’t like the girl. I also think her comments about Parisa’s frumpy outfits are funny. I understand that not everyone feels that way and most recappers probably welcome feedback, even if it’s complaining about something they wrote. I personally hope CB does not let up. Everytime I watch Parisa do or say something ridiculous, I gleefully look forward to reading CB’s take on it.

  21. 21
    sharonly23
    Posted October 30, 2007 at 3:34 pm

    IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG WITH THE FACT THAT THIS CHICKBOMB IS PICKING ON PARISA’S CLOTHING EVERY WEEK BUT OVERLOOKING THE FACT THAT SHAUVON INSISTS ON OBNOXIOUSLY SITTING ON THE PHONE INDOORS WITH HER SUN GLASSES ON? WHILE BOO HOOING TO THIS GUY SHE LOVES SOOOOOOO MUCH BUT BECAUSE HE DOESN’T SUPPORT HER BIG CAREER MOVE “GOING ON THE REAL WORLD?” DID I MISS SOMETHING, WHAT WAS HER BIG CAREER MOVE THAT HE DIDN’T SUPPORT BESIDES HER GOING ON THIS SHOW? HE’S GOING TO HAVE TO WATCH IT LATER & SEE HER MAKING OUT AND SCREWING OTHER GUYS? I’M SURE THAT IS WHY HE’S NOT A BIG FAN OF HER BEING THERE. O WHAT A HORRIBLE GUY, HE EXPECTS HIS GIRLFRIEND TO NOT ACT LIKE A SLUT!! KA IS COOL, BUT THE ONLY REASON SHE’S INTERESTED IN COW IS BECAUSE HE’S NOT CHASING HER, THE SECOND HE STARTS, HE’S HISTORY & TRASHA HAS THE NERVE TO ACT THE WAY SHE DOES AND THAN ACT LIKE SHE READS AND LIVES BY THE BIBLE?? PLEASE, ALL 3 OF THE GIRLS ARE A JOKE. PARISA IS THE ONLY ONE THAT HAS ANY MORALS.

  22. 22
    sharonly23
    Posted October 30, 2007 at 3:35 pm

    IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG WITH THE FACT THAT THIS CHICKBOMB IS PICKING ON PARISA’S CLOTHING EVERY WEEK BUT OVERLOOKING THE FACT THAT SHAUVON INSISTS ON OBNOXIOUSLY SITTING ON THE PHONE INDOORS WITH HER SUN GLASSES ON? WHILE BOO HOOING TO THIS GUY SHE LOVES SOOOOOOO MUCH BUT BECAUSE HE DOESN’T SUPPORT HER BIG CAREER MOVE “GOING ON THE REAL WORLD?” DID I MISS SOMETHING, WHAT WAS HER BIG CAREER MOVE THAT HE DIDN’T SUPPORT BESIDES HER GOING ON THIS SHOW? HE’S GOING TO HAVE TO WATCH IT LATER & SEE HER MAKING OUT AND SCREWING OTHER GUYS? I’M SURE THAT IS WHY HE’S NOT A BIG FAN OF HER BEING THERE. O WHAT A HORRIBLE GUY, HE EXPECTS HIS GIRLFRIEND TO NOT ACT LIKE A SLUT!! KA IS COOL, BUT THE ONLY REASON SHE’S INTERESTED IN COW IS BECAUSE HE’S NOT CHASING HER, THE SECOND HE STARTS, HE’S HISTORY & TRASHA HAS THE NERVE TO ACT THE WAY SHE DOES AND THAN ACT LIKE SHE READS AND LIVES BY THE BIBLE?? PLEASE, ALL 3 OF THE GIRLS ARE A JOKE. PARISA IS THE ONLY ONE THAT HAS ANY MORALS.

  23. 23
    sharonly23
    Posted October 30, 2007 at 3:50 pm

    I just wanted to add that I realize Parisa is pathetic when it comes to men but at least she stands up for herself. Otherwise Trash bag, Shauvon & KA would walk all over her.

  24. 24
    HereKittyKitty
    Posted October 30, 2007 at 5:07 pm

    I went back and forth about commenting on this, because as Cheez pointed out last week AND this week, by commenting on ChickBomb’s excessive picking on Parisa, we are just doing her a favor.

    Whatever, I’ve over it. Hope y’all enjoy the rest of the season, I won’t be reading or commenting on these recaps.

  25. 25
    blahblah
    Posted October 30, 2007 at 5:36 pm

    Remember when this season looked like it would star KellyAnne? Thank God they don’t focus on her. She’s boring and not that cute. And I agree with Sharonly that KA is the type of chick that would stop liking Cow the second he actually started showing genuine interest.

    On another note, I’m with HereKittyKitty. Anyone who thinks Trisha’s faults are less than Parisa’s is crazy and/or mentally deficient in my opinion. No one on this show is extremely likable, so I find it hard to believe that there’s a good reason for Parisa to be taking the majority of the crap in these recaps.

    Josey, you’re forgetting that there are two main reasons to read this recap. Only one has to be true.

    1. Because you’re a fan of ChickBomb’s writing/POV

    2. Because you’re a fan of the Real World.

    I’ll let you take a wild guess which of those reasons applies to why I’m here.

    ^5 Cheez. Consider this my “the service sucks” comment card.

  26. 26
    blahblah
    Posted October 30, 2007 at 5:43 pm

    To Abby re: comment #20:

    Get your head out of the Literal Dictionary. Cheez was using the restaurant/waiter service as a metaphor to explain why ChickBomb’s “talents” aren’t appreciated by some of the commenters. B-Side was AWESOME! And makes ChickBomb’s “services” pale by comparison.

    I think CB is funny, but very prejudiced and it’s showing. At least she spread the snark around pretty evenly on ROL, but here she just focuses mostly on one person for the whole damn recap. Boring and predictable.

  27. 27
    iluvcraptv
    Posted October 30, 2007 at 6:32 pm

    if you read the recap objectively, dunbar was the focus and took way more of a beating than parisa (for good reason). There were also some things CB said to defend Parisa.

    It looks like CB will never again be able to type the name Parisa in a recap w/o getting heat.

    Oh, and who didn’t love bside..but for the love of CHRIST – HE’S GONE, GET OVER IT!

  28. 28
    jozeyg
    Posted October 30, 2007 at 6:46 pm

    iluvcraptv —-thank you!

  29. 29
    Chee-Z-TeeVee Addict |
    Posted October 31, 2007 at 4:23 am

    @iluvcraptv:

    It looks like we will never again be able to type the name B-Side in a comment w/o getting heat.

  30. 30
    Chee-Z-TeeVee Addict |
    Posted October 31, 2007 at 4:31 am

    @iluvcraptv:

    Oh, and who doesn’t know B-Side is gone..but for the love of CHRIST – WE MISS HIM, GET OVER IT!

  31. 31
    Abby
    Posted October 31, 2007 at 5:56 am

    Hey Blah Blah:

    I got it the first time, thanks. Still, I am appalled that someone would write negative comments about someone doing a good job at one of the toughest jobs out there just because someone else once did a great job. I realize that wasn’t the point Cheezy was making, but still, it’s a sucky thing to do and I couldn’t help but comment on it.

    I miss B side too, even though I think CB is funny. Yet, it seems, insulting “frumpy Marge” is kind of CB’s thing (although, as it was pointed out, Dunbar got it way worse than she did this time), and I don’t think it will change. Anyone who doesn’t like it of course can comment all they want, but I don’t think it will change anything.

    And as far as the “metaphor” goes (Just for you, Blah Blah) it doesn’t really work here. It’s not like a restaurant comment card where the waiter can make improvements like smiling more or checking on the table more or whatever– CB and B side have totally different writing styles and a different sense of humor, and all the negative comments in the world can’t change that.

  32. 32
    DezPez
    Posted October 31, 2007 at 7:11 am

    I am actually really surprised that so many people like Parisa. For the most part lately the show FOCUSES on her, so I dont think ChickBomb can dish it out equally when they don’t all get equal time during the show.

    I thought it was really rude of her when she was screaming in the kitchen when Dunbar and Julie were having a conversation with each other. If I were Julie I wouldve told her to shut up.

    I wish that commenters would stop focusing on recapper and start chatting about the show itself!

  33. 33
    isthisawkward
    Posted October 31, 2007 at 8:53 am

    did anyone notice the fact that parisa sounds anorexic??? She wanted to work out for two hours, and then later on the episode she discussed not having eaten all day…

    i bet she’s feeling pressure to be skinny on tv!

  34. 34
    Chee-Z-TeeVee Addict |
    Posted October 31, 2007 at 9:06 am

    For the record, I would like to state that I find Parisa very annoying, but I reserve the right to also find ChickBomb annoying.

    ChickBomb is doing a pretty good job, but some of her “jokes” are annoying like referring to Julie as Dunbar’s Girlfriend Julie. I mean it was borderline funny (read: non-annoying) the first time, and we understood that she was poking fun at the fact that no one refers to themselves that way and that Dunbar is a wife-beating southerner who keeps his girlfriend straight by stripping away her identity so that her only identity is that of being his girlfriend, but it has gotten old.

    ChickBomb can bash whomever she pleases. I can bash ChickBomb for bashing someone as I please. You can bash me for bashing ChickBomb for bashing someone as you please. Let’s not forget that freedom of speech applies to us all.

    Also for the record: I’m very funny, very smart, and very awesome, and I have a multi-hyphenated name. I also battled meningitis last summer. Just for the record!

  35. 35
    Nacho Mama
    Posted October 31, 2007 at 10:56 am

    Haha Cheez…. classic!

    I would give you a “pitty” party but I don’t know what that is….

  36. 36
    Chee-Z-TeeVee Addict |
    Posted October 31, 2007 at 10:57 am

    Trasha is an annoying and dirty bitch.

    I also happen to think she’s a mean, petty bitch.

    I also hate her voice, it must be like the eqivalent to what dogs hear when you blow those silent whistle’s. I’ll bet every time she opened her mouth as a child, her mother silently thought: “Kill me now, please someone, KILL ME NOW!”

    I truly believe that she has brain damage from taking one too many Donkey Punches. Either that, or she has Cerebral Palsy.

  37. 37
    yankeesfan
    Posted October 31, 2007 at 11:05 am

    I actually still think the reference to julie as “dunbar’s girlfriend julie” is funny and i like the recaps themselves…probably because i can’t stand parisa. i also thought it was particularly annoying when she was budding into dunbar and julie’s convo in the kitchen…i do not, on the other hand, think she is anorexic…in almost every episode it seems like all she does is it. i also think that trisha is annoying though…she just didn’t give much to make fun of in this episode esp. when she came to parisa’s defence, which really surprised me as I highly doubt parisa would’ve done the same.

  38. 38
    yankeesfan
    Posted October 31, 2007 at 11:08 am

    I actually still think the reference to julie as “dunbar’s girlfriend julie” is funny and i like the recaps themselves…probably because i can’t stand parisa. i also thought it was particularly annoying when she was budding into dunbar and julie’s convo in the kitchen…i do not, on the other hand, think she is anorexic…in almost every episode it seems like all she does is it. i also think that trisha is annoying though…she just didn’t give much to make fun of in this episode esp. when she came to parisa’s defence, which really surprised me as I highly doubt parisa would’ve done the same.

  39. 39
    mattypopo
    Posted November 1, 2007 at 4:24 pm

    Hey Cheez-dick,

    I think if everyone thought you were as funny as you thought other people thought you were, TVgasm may have asked you to recap the Real World, but the fact is that you suck dog balls. Metaphorically and perhaps literally (who knows maybe that is a side effect of Meningitis, still waiting for your Live Diary on that). I find Schindler’s List more humorous than you witty written banter. Just because your mom laughs at your diatribes about Britney Spears latest train wreck life over Thanksgiving dinner doesn’t mean it ‘s funny. Actually, you should use that as abaromter of what is not funny.
    Oh and NachoCheese it was a pity party, I am glad the only insult you could muster was typo. Good stuff. I hope you get that job writing for Carlos Menica soon.

  40. 40
    chrispeycreme
    Posted November 1, 2007 at 4:43 pm

    mattypopo: you are being mean.

    everyone else: you amuse me.

  41. 41
    fozziebare13
    Posted November 1, 2007 at 9:08 pm

    Great recap, Chickbomb!

    I know I’m a late comer but I’ve been trying to catch up. I hope you’re still reading your comments here because 99% of people think you’re awesome, and the other 1% are just more vocal about it. I’m sure you’re taking all these comments with a gram of coke. I, on the other hand, am insecure and needy and cry for days when anyone posts anything negative on my recaps. You’re awesome!

  42. 42
    Chee-Z-TeeVee Addict |
    Posted November 2, 2007 at 7:15 am

    @ mattypopo:

    So maybe I AM a bored, lonely housewife whose only friends are people I have never met in person and only talk to through discussion boards! Maybe I DO refresh the comments page every 3 minutes to check for replies! Maybe I DO validate my responses using quotes from Wikipedia! What difference does it make to YOU?

    Everyone here loves me. I’m funny, smart and awesome! If you want to be like me (Everyone does!), all you have to do is sniff out a point-of-view from the recapper and then go to town with it. Sure you have to make baseless judgments about people you’ve never even met, but the meaner you are the more friends you will make. If you can’t beat them… and all that jazz.

    Here’s a custom guide that you can use to become me -:

    B-Side on Colie:
    A guy could pass Colie on the street, and if they made fleeting eye contact, she’d probably yell, “MINE!” (And then cry for the next ten minutes because Stranger #236 was ignoring her when clearly he had feelings for her too).
    Me on Colie:
    She’s not good looking… she’s too unappealing to be promiscuous (although she has definitely tried)… she’s kind of pathetic… I seriously think she’s only showered, on average, about twice a week, she looks like she smells…

    B-Side on Paula:
    Then Keith noted that he didn’t create crazy Paula; he had “inherited” her. Well, in that case, punch away!… It’s just that when it comes to writing jokes, he’s [Keith] such an easy target. Much in the same way that Paula’s an easy target for his fists.
    Me on Paula:
    I hate her… she is goofy bitch. I STILL think she is a fuckweasel – I hope she’s getting beaten right now.

    B-Side on Tessa:
    …[Tessa and Derek] began making out, and then one thing led to another, and they headed downstairs into what we could only imagine was Derek’s den of seduction. Let the consummation of blandness begin!
    Me on Tessa:
    The reason she’s dull to watch, is because she’s cold and shut-down… She is not merely a non-entity, she’s a NEGATIVE entity… I think when it comes to Tessa, the guys can just smell a cheap f*ck a mile away.

    Good luck, mattypopo. You’ll need it if you want to be like me. :-)

  43. 43
    ClosetExtrovert
    Posted November 2, 2007 at 8:41 am

    You know what amazes me about this show? I wouldn’t hang out with ANY of these people. They are all assholes, and when they aren’t so stinking drunk and throwing things at each other, they’re nursing hangovers and saying how much they love each other. The Trashy Jesus Girl, the Juicy California Bimbo, The misunderstood Plain girl and the Freshly Scrubbed Functioning Alcoholic girl all deserve each other. Then there’s Dunbar who should be stuffed in a bottle and shipped out with the Japanese current, Issac the wise Sage, and the scrawny little guy with the horrific accent…Yikes…It’s like a sickness…You don’t want to look but you can’t help yourself…

  44. 44
    mattypopo
    Posted November 2, 2007 at 9:56 am

    Cheez-hole,

    Thanks for proving my point that no one thinks you are funny, except yourself. And that is the most worthless rebuttal I have ever read. At what point did you think quoting b-side along yourself made for a good argument? I have seen monkeys bash a keyboard senselessly and come up with an argument hat has more aplomb and logic than your own.

    On the bright side, it should be an easy slide into senility for you.

  45. 45
    Chee-Z-TeeVee Addict |
    Posted November 2, 2007 at 10:26 am

    mattypopo,

    It wasn’t a rebuttal. It was only self-analysis. Read more carefully. You and I are more alike than you realize. :-)

  46. 46
    Chee-Z-TeeVee Addict |
    Posted November 2, 2007 at 10:31 am

    mattypopo,

    It wasn’t a rebuttal. It was only self-analysis. I quoted B-Side to show you how I came up with my opinions. I took his opinions and exaggerated them to sound more vitriolic. What is a comment (or even an opinion) if it doesn’t annoy, irritate, disturb or hurt?

    Read more carefully. You and I are more alike than you realize. ;-)

  47. 47
    mattypopo
    Posted November 2, 2007 at 12:27 pm

    I could argue with you until I puke coathangers, but I see it is a fruitless effort–because you are a certifiable idiot. Science could learn a lot from someone as stupid as yourself.Through your self-analysis you had to come to the realization that you are not clever nor funny.

    I think the only thing we may have in common is that we are both carbon based life forms.

  48. 48
    Chee-Z-TeeVee Addict |
    Posted November 2, 2007 at 12:35 pm

    @ mattypopo:

    “Through your self-analysis you had to come to the realization that you are not clever nor funny.”

    Exactly! I am telling you, mattypopo: we’re on the same page!

  49. 49
    arainbow
    Posted November 3, 2007 at 8:43 pm

    parisa sucks. she is an annoying blob. MARGE

  50. 50
    AllyCat
    Posted November 4, 2007 at 7:21 pm

    Why does chick bomb takes to freaking long to update???? She’s always a week behind, and her recaps suck any way. They are not funny. She’s a broken record that keeps playing the same bit over and over- an not-so-funny bit at that. PLEASE REPLACE HER.

  51. 51
    ALLYCAT
    Posted November 4, 2007 at 7:24 pm

    Why does Chick Bomb take so damn long to update? She’s always a week behind. Plus, her recaps suck. They are not very funny (no matter what cast member you hate/love). She is like a broken record that keeps playing the same bit over and over again- a not-so-funny bit at that. PLEASE REPLACE HER.

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