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Saturday, December 3, 2005
8:44 pm
83 Comments
After slaving through a week of work, I embraced this weekend with the cheery optimism that one heck of a Real World: Austin Reunion waited for me on the Tivo. Well, I was half right. The reunion was there on the Tivo, but like this season, I had to sit through stretches of super boring blabbing just to get to the fun gooey center. To be fair though, when this reunion heated up, it was great. In fact, it was almost better than this entire season, which is why it perplexed me that resident springer spaniel Suzie from TRL kept putting the kibosh on the drama and cutting to commercial. Damn her and her bland moderation skills!Now, I don’t know exactly how this episode kicked off because my Tivo managed to snip off the first few minutes. Actually, it wasn’t the Tivo’s fault. MTV was a little early with it’s schedule, and so by the time I pressed play, we were already reliving that wonderful fight on the final episode. We then returned to the MTV studio where a cozy audience was all lying around like this was the bestest slumber party evah! Surely they were as enrapt as we were with Danny’s mystical makeover. Yes, the surly Bostonian greeted us with a shimmering new set of ultra-white veneers which beautifully contrasted his butternut-squash tan. Or should I say, “orange.” That’s right, ladies and gents. Danny’s gone Hollywood on us, which means it’ll be all the more entertaining six months from now when he realizes that no one really gives a shit about who he is. Rampant alcoholism and depression shall ensue.
“Check out my new chompahs!”
So back to the discussion at hand. What REALLY happened during that final fight. Well, Wes insisted again that the whole sex-with-Wren thing was supposed to be a secret. He had actually told Rachel about it in the shower when he wasn’t mic’d and no cameras were around. Normally, that’s called gossiping. But hey, this is The Real World not the real world.
Wes then explained how his tender little heart felt once Rachel blabbed to Wren: “The number one word I felt was ‘betrayed.’” He felt a word? I didn’t know that was possible.
Rachel then apologized and said she had a big mouth (insert snack food joke here), and then Wes said everything was cool, and then Lacey cut through all the bullshit and scoffed, “I don’t understand why she [Wren] cared. Wren works at Hooters. It’s not like she’s an Amish respectful church-goer.” Wha-whaaa? Wren works at Hooters. Okay, she’s officially an idiot. You don’t hook up with someone on a REALITY SHOW and then complain when word gets out. And you especially don’t complain when you spend all night shaking your ass for horny guys at Hooters. Shut up, WREN!
As for the whole Nehemiah/Rachel thing, Lacey then noted, “Nehemiah knows just what to say to make her crawl under the foozball table and have a seizure.” Now that I would like to see! I mean, we already missed her launch into the basketball net. Well, a contrite Nehemiah offered up a somewhat lame excuse for his actions, saying that the only reason why he pushes Rachel’s buttons so much is because it’s easy and deep down he loves her. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You already shot all your cool cred, Neh. You’ll have to do something absolutely amazing for us to embrace you again…
Then, sort of out of nowhere, Wes then asked, “On a scale of one to ten, how much do you like me right now, Rachel?” Wow, that was awkwardly confrontational. Rachel simply shrugged and said, “8?” Funny story: a friend of mine was once on Blind Date. She was making a total ass of herself, and at one point, she told her date, “When I first saw you, I thought you were an 8. What did you think of me?” To which the guy gave her a semi-digusted look and replied, “7.” Point is, never ask people how they would rank you because let’s face it, no one’s gonna be happy with less than a 9.
Next we moved onto the Real World: Austin police montage, but not before Suzie made a WONDERFUL joke about how the cops were the unofficial eighth cast member of the season. Oh Suzie! You are incorrigible! Well, Nehemiah informed us that all the charges from his bratwurst brawl have been dropped, and when the audience merely smiled a congratulation, the pugilistic sausage fiend implored them to “Give it up, everybody!!” YEAH! You got your assault charges dropped because you’re on MTV!! Wooo hooo!!!
As for Johanna, she learned a valuable lesson from her ordeal: “Don’t steal from bums.” Yes, Johanna made a funny, and you know what? I’m gonna give it to her. It was chuckle-worthy — even if she has been using the same line for the past few months on college tours. Well, never one to be shunned into the corner, Danny proved that he had the chops to be the last comic standing. “By the end of the whole duration there, we had the cops and the hospital on speed dial,” he guffawed. Amazingly enough, this sent Suzie into a rapturous fit of giggles, leaving me to question just how much she deserves to share the stage with such luminaries as Quddus, Damien, and of course, La La. Suzie LOVES Danny’s jokes!
Suzie and Weird Al Yankovic go to the same barber.
At this point, the reunion special had been decent, if not a bit yawn-worthy. But then things sparked to life when the roommies were faced with the inevitable Lacey gossip montage — which, by the way, is the best sort of montage. What’s so awesome about it (aside from the built-in awkwardness afterwards) is that pretty much everything Lacey says is on-point. And let’s be honest. It’s not like the other roommates don’t gossip. That’s all they have to do. It’s more like they just gossip in less ostentatious ways. Nevertheless, when Suzie put the blabbermouth on the spot for all her back-talk, Lacey insisted that she’s said the same things to people’s faces as behind their backs. Plus, Lacey also had a nifty point that she never really made fun of superficial things like physical appearance. It was more like she was simply reacting to the situation behind her. Mmmm… I love rational thought on The Real World. It’s like finding a rare diamond. Nehemiah then randomly came to Lacey’s defense, saying that she kept it real the whole time. Yeah, that’s all fine and good, Neh, but Danny was not about to have it. As the toothy tanned one revved up for a wicked awesome rant, Lacey concluded her defense by saying that everyone’s sensitive and no one likes to hear the truth about themselves. WHAT? Danny LOVES hearing the truth about himself! I mean, he took it so well every time Melinda confronted him about anything. You are loco, Lacey!
Anyway, Danny finally lashed out with his patented style of asking dumb, hostile questions: “So is it true that I don’t know what real work is? Is that true?” he asked, referring to the clip of Lacey saying that Danny’s never had a real job before since he’s always worked for his dad.
Danny continued his third-degree of Mystic Tan interrogation by asking, “I don’t know what it’s like to be out at 13 below zero like on the top of the roof, banging nails while you’re sweeping hair?” Oooh! Wicked good point! Way to one-up her without actually addressing the issue! Finally, Danny summed up his case by saying that Lacey has crapped all over him (figuratively — I hope).
“Then why am I friends with everyone here except you and Melinda? Why?” Lacey asked. Ouch! She got you Danny. Bummah!
“Why should I call you when–” Danny started, but was cut off by the rampaging Lacey:
“You don’t call me. You don’t call any of us.”
Okay Danny. What do you have to say?
“Seriously, what is wrong with you?” he asked, clearly running out of moronic things to say. Eventually, Danny got back on track and accused Lacey of being phony and nice to him in the house, to which Lacey replied that just because you don’t like someone doesn’t mean you have to be rude to them. Wait? It doesn’t? What sort of non-black and white thinking is that? Whatever, Lacey. You’re a total idiot. Clearly.
And by the way, I was totally loving this argument.
Danny then said he thought he was really good friends with Lacey, but she balked, “We never talked!” Yes, you did! You said hello and goodbye. Sometimes. Well, Danny would have none of it. “Oh, that’s crap, Lacey. Stop playing that card, seriously.” Card? What card? The “you walked away from me when I tried to talk to you” card? Huh — Danny does have a point. Just because he walked away during every conversation doesn’t mean that she should act like they weren’t best buds.
Way to take the label off, jerk.
With the argument having meandered into all sorts of different areas, Lacey brought everything back to the original accusation, saying that in the clip, she merely meant that Danny working for his dad is not necessarily the same as working for a bad, non-related boss. “Okay, go work for my dad. He’ll kick the shit out of you, trust me,” Danny sneered, causing the audience to react with shocked “Whoas!” Actually, I don’t think the audience did that, but it was nice of MTV to let us think they did.
“Lacey, stop lying,” Danny then said at one point.
“Stop being so insecure and yelling at everyone because you can’t handle what people say,” she replied. Boo-ya!
Just as Danny was about to lay into Lacey again (insecurely, natch), Suzie suddenly spoke up and announced that it was time to go to commercial. “OF COURSE!” snapped an angry Danny, and for once, I was with him on that. What the hell, Suze? This is like the best stuff to happen on this show for weeks, and you gotta stick your curly head into the middle? La La would never have done that!
Sadly, when we returned, the conversation had completely strayed back into stupid boring things like the dumb groupie drawer. Yawn. Nehemiah piped up that the producers never showed him having sex when in fact, he did get lots of booty. As a result, Nehemiah claimed the show made him look like a homosexual. So… do homosexuals not have sex?
Later we learned something interesting from Wes: “Rachel hooked up with every single girl that I hooked up with.” Wow, just goes to prove that Wes’s girls really do have low standards. To be fair to Rachel though, it’s not like she wanted to hook up with all those girls. Wes just had the unfortunate habit of slathering them all in cotton candy ice cream.
Oh, and in other uninteresting news, Wes and Johanna are currently dating. Fantastic.
The show then moved into seriously boring territory as it focused on Danny and Melinda again. First, we sat through a Danny’s-Mom-Dies montage, and when we returned to the studio, Suzie revealed that she cries every single time she sees that episode. Oh, poor Suzie! So emotionally vulnerable. Anyway, Danny told us that his relationship with his mom was good and that the producers made it seem like they didn’t get along. This of course led to a brief moment of choking up from Danny, which was followed by a brief moment of choking up from Melinda, which was followed by a brief moment of dozing off from me.
As for their relationship, Melinda explained that she just loved Danny at first sight. I mean, he’s so gorgeous, she noted, sadly forgetting about that whole “personality” thing. The best part of this though was that when Melinda praised Danny’s physical appearance, he pretended to be modest by making a little “Don’t be ridiculous” face, but let’s be real. We all know you think you’re hot shit, Danny. Must I remind you of your ill-advised modeling portfolio?
Just when this interminable segment could seem to get any worse, we then watched footage from the night before as Danny proposed to Melinda. Yay. They’re engaged. Let the cycle of co-dependency flourish! Most nauseating though was Suzie who chirped, “We have to thank our friends at Michael C. Fina for that beautiful, beautiful ring.” That’s right. MTV actually forked over for this unholy union. Let’s just hope this is the last we hear from these two, lest we be stuck with a painful retread of Rob and Amber Get Married.
And yes, Sharpie congratulated Danny and Melinda’s engagement. Begin the boycott now.
Anyway, let’s just get to the fun stuff. As the end of the special approached, Rachel announced that some people have changed drastically since the show ended, meaning that either they were fake in the house or fame has affected them since. This was welcomed with odd shock from the audience (clearly another edit there), and then randomly Nehemiah began the sort of rant we always want on these reunions but never get. He said that he and Melinda weren’t very cool anymore, and as for Danny, “At this point, I don’t really have good feelings towards you. Ever since the show, you think you’re Ben Affleck or something… You did The Real World; you didn’t win an Oscar.” Oh, VERY NICE! Nehemiah’s well on the way back to being “cool” with us, if I do say so myself.
As expected, Danny tried to turn the whole thing around, asking, “Who’s the one with the f*ckin’ ego?”
“You,” replied Nehemiah, adding, “Half these people don’t like you.”
“I don’t reallly give a shit,” Danny responded.
“Of course you don’t. ‘Cause that’s your ego!” Neh said. Oooh! Gotcha!
“I don’t have a f*ckin’ ego!” Danny countered, clearly forgetting his pearly new teeth, orange glow, and silly modeling photos. No ego at all!
“You don’t think so because most people who are egotistical don’t think so,” Neh attacked. Okay, Nehemiah’s officially cool again.
Unfortunately, the dependably lame Wes tried to be all gentlemanly and scolded, “Nehemiah, I think you need to be a little more respectful to your friend. I think you need to shut the f*ck up and go to commercial.” Whatever Wes. If you wanted to have “respectful” friends, you should have stayed off The Real World. By the way, does Wes have bird shit on his knee?
With tensions flaring and voices yelling, Suzie attempted to play peacekeeper, but she was clearly out of her league. “I know how you guys feel about each other, but I wanna see where everyone else is at so…” she said, as everyone ignored her. SHUT UP, SUZIE.
Things became a whole lot more fun when Rachel jumped into the mix, confirming that Danny had in fact changed. She choked up as she said, “It’s hard when you call someone, and they don’t return your call.” She then reiterated her point, saying “The only explanation was that TV made him that way, or he was fake on the show.”
Once again, Danny chose to snap back rather than think about what Rachel was saying. “Who was the one who stood up for you?” he asked, rattling off a list of times that he was supportive to her. Yes, THAT IS THE POINT! You were a good friend in the house and afterwards you became a douche to her. Of course, when it comes to Danny, he’s always the victim. Everyone’s turned on him. It’s not possible that maybe he has to mend things in his life. Rachel then said they hung out once in Boston, and the whole time he didn’t look her in the eyes once.
“Are you on crack? We met that one night with that guy Ryan! It was a good dinner!” Danny protested. Yeah, man! It was a wicked awesome dinner! How could she not appreciate the unlimited breadsticks at the Olive Garden?? RYAN liked it!
Rachel then told a story about how everyone was supposed to get together in Los Angeles. “It was supposed to be a girls day, and you wouldn’t let Melinda go with the girls!” Rachel insisted.
And what does Madame Co-Dependency have to say?
“I didn’t want to go,” Melinda replied.
“Do I give a shit whether or not Melinda goes shopping with you? No,” Danny then said as Nehemiah answered, “Yes.”
This caused Danny exasperatedly ask, “What is your problem???”
Alas, this conflagration was sadly cut short by the stern Suzie. I know, I know. But sadly, it was the end of the show. LAME. I’m sure someday Danny will look back at this and realize his roommates were only trying to help him. Oh, what am I talking about? Danny sucks.
What did you think about the reunion?
83 Comments
Wow, I have been waiting for this recap, checking every hour or so and I am elated. Lacey and Nehamiah ARE officially off my shit list now. This was the best Real World Reunion ever.Finally people are getting called out. As for Jo and Wes, ew. Did you notice that Jo looks like she had some mouth work done as well? Oh well, let’s just hope they don’t breed. The Danny/Melinda thing is soooo tired, I wasn’t even interested in the first place. What a losah Danny is, can’t even pay for his own ring. Suzy was NOT the VJ they needed to host this show. They needed Sway or someone that the cast would actually listen to. Not some girl who was obviously a smitten kitten with Danny. What is his appeal? Sure, he was an OK looking guy at first but gawd, that temper. He has nothing going for him now since he decided to join the Oompa Loompa crowd and go to Hilary Duff’s venner (sp) specialist. Are you going to recap the new Gauntlet? Please say you will.
Lacey looked like raw chicken, she really needs some sun!
Coming from a fellow paley, sometimes you just can’t tan. Trust me, I faked baked for three months when I was 16 and the I barely had color. At least Lacey decided to go natural instead of opting for the orange hue that Melinda and Danny decided to go for.
Funny recap. Worst RW season EVA! I could have found a better cast throwing a rock out of a window… sheesh.
I really hope that no one from this season is invited to challenges. Well maybe Melina, but without Danny, so she can be peer pressured into hooking up with every guy/girl/Rachel there and then Danny will hear the news, fall off a roof, land on the nails he was bangin’, chip his fake tooth and then possibly jump off a bridge. Well I’m keeping my fingers crossed!
THANK YOU B-SIDE! I’ve been so desperately waiting for this recap! I’ll definitely watch this week’s “The Sh!t They Should’ve Shown.” Please recap that and “The Gauntlet 2.” Can’t wait!!!
Fantastic as Mystic Sun recap, as always!
This was one of the funniest recaps I’ve read in a while, great job B-side!
So one of my friends was filling me in on this show since I missed it, and she started off by saying how hot Danny was with his tan and really white teeth… I suddenly think I may need to find a new friend. The boy is seriously a loser, and an unattractive one at that. I still hate Nehemiah, I think he thinks he’s really clever, which just ruins it, but Lacy is completely redeemed!
And really, Mel is engaged to MTV, not Danny.. who wants a ring your bf didn’t even buy for you?!?!?!
I second the request for Gauntlet 2 recaps, PLEASE!
Wow, I didn’t know Danny changed. I saw the reunion but I didn’t think so.
Thanks for the recaps! As always, they are always hilarious.
Danny – Don’t you have a mirrah? Dude, your skin is ORANGE; you are a giant, ORANGE tool. BTW – whatever they used on your teeth should be considered for use on the space shuttle – Do you use toothpaste or Tilex?
Melinda – Danny. Hates. Women. He is a LOSAH, and an abusah. Does he glow in the dark? Is he a glow in the dark tool? Does he say stuff like, “…If I can’t have you, no one can…”? Nicole Brown Simpson – look into it. Seriously.
Lacey – RW/RR challenge dream-team: Lacey, Veronica-Rachel, Trashelle, Holy-Holly, Bellou, Puck, Coral, Big Gay Dan ( I LOVE him), and Theo (just for “Crazy Pill” non-sequiters). Lacey ROCKS!
Wes & Johanna – Human Petrie Dish. I’ll bet Wes smells like cheese.
Other Lessons Learned by Johanna:
Don’t push people in wheelchairs down the stairs (in public).
Don’t beat the elderly (in public).
Don’t kick puppies (in public).
Not because it’s wrong, but because it might make people think you’re an a__hole. And you might get tossed into the Slammah.
Danny, I’m almost positive you’re reading these postings (your ego is in control), the so-yesterday hat was bad enough, but dude you’re orange! How embarassing to give a girl a product-endorsed ring. You must have threatened to bite the producers!
Danny is beyond lame for giving melinda a ring that the producers gave him…and then for suzie to announce it all over tv, that HAD to have been embarrassing.
And I still can’t get over danny and melinda looking like that, they must’ve visited the same salon as tantastic Jen.
As far as the rest of the cast, let’s just say that this has been the worst real world cast ever, and that they are just plain horrible.
Danny is a complete moron! Orange glow man! And as for his “fiance”..oh please..they probably wont even make it down the aisle, unless MTV pays for it. Johanna and Wes? What the?? ewwwwww…As for Lacey…get some sun!
Great Recap!
I had the benefit of doing laundry all day yesterday, and got to see the RRReunion not once but TWICE!!! Double the Pleasure, double the fun, looks like Danny and Melinda took in some sun!
Seriously, did anyone notice after Suzie blew Danny’s cover on the ring, he tried to cover it up by saying, “Yeh, ah picked up the ring there” as though he paid, and thats just where he happened to get it. No fooling this crowd FakeBake. I am happy for them though, they really seem to be on the same page. That page might be filled with emptiness, but hey, at least they can be there together.
Also, did anyone notice that his left ear was bent down under that hat for the entire episode? It looked like cauliflower ear…Danny, can you hear me?
Lacey – when she said the seizure comment, I just about died. To see Rachel react to that was hilarious, she looked like she was going to show us what that seizure looked like right then and there.
Wes/Jo – ick. Not that I think Jo is that great, her teeth have thrown me for a loop the whole season, but c’mon to be in that hot little dress for white pasty Wes…makes me like her a little bit less.
Neh – he was all talk about ego this, ego that, all the while pulling on his Kanye West wanna be blazer and shirt underneath like he has the most game in the book. I only see him as mean. Whether or not he was talking the truth he is so arrogant and lame that it is a wonder that he can even pretend that he is “real”. Neh – get a fucking clue! At least he doesn’t take it the racial avenue like so many of his counterparts on Real World (Kevin from season 1 anyone?)
Rachel- could her skirt be any shorter? Could her boobs be more exposed? So…she digs the bratwurst and the tacos….very interesting.
Great recap – thanks for sharing the best for last!!!
yes, now we have the gauntlet to look forward to- the craziest of the crazies fighting it out for cash. Good clean fun.
Great Recap!
I had the benefit of doing laundry all day yesterday, and got to see the RWReunion not once but TWICE!!! Double the Pleasure, double the fun, looks like Danny and Melinda took in some sun!
Seriously, did anyone notice after Suzie blew Danny’s cover on the ring, he tried to cover it up by saying, “Yeh, ah picked up the ring there” as though he paid, and thats just where he happened to get it. No fooling this crowd FakeBake. I am happy for them though, they really seem to be on the same page. That page might be filled with emptiness, but hey, at least they can be there together.
Also, did anyone notice that his left ear was bent down under that hat for the entire episode? It looked like cauliflower ear…Danny, can you hear me?
Lacey – when she said the seizure comment, I just about died. To see Rachel react to that was hilarious, she looked like she was going to show us what that seizure looked like right then and there.
Wes/Jo – ick. Not that I think Jo is that great, her teeth have thrown me for a loop the whole season, but c’mon to be in that hot little dress for white pasty Wes…makes me like her a little bit less.
Neh – he was all talk about ego this, ego that, all the while pulling on his Kanye West wanna be blazer and shirt underneath like he has the most game in the book. I only see him as mean. Whether or not he was talking the truth he is so arrogant and lame that it is a wonder that he can even pretend that he is “real”. Neh – get a fucking clue! At least he doesn’t take it the racial avenue like so many of his counterparts on Real World (Kevin from season 1 anyone?)
Rachel- could her skirt be any shorter? Could her boobs be more exposed? So…she digs the bratwurst and the tacos….very interesting.
Great recap – thanks for sharing the best for last!!!
yes, now we have the gauntlet to look forward to- the craziest of the crazies fighting it out for cash. Good clean fun.
my favorite part of these recaps is the comments where everyone tries to be as funny as you B-Side but fails terribly. great recap. i must say i agree, lacey doesn’t seem quite so bad now. actually, she kind of reminds me of me.
I, personally, would love to see a Danny and Melinda Wedding Special. Perhaps Danny might even wear a trademark hat at the altar.
B-Side-I’m glad you were as repulsed by the Sharpie commercial as I was..I mentioned it on the “Danny’s modeling” recap, but I was worried that nobody knew what the hell I was talking about.
I bet sharpie will sponsor their wedding..maybe they’ll have wicked awesome goodie bags with free pens for everyone. God knows danny likes the free things!
How LOW do you have to get to accept a free wedding ring from a jeweler..yeah, nothing says “I love you” like free samples, douchebag.
I was also confused when danny said that he and mel had just bought a house together.. so let me get this straight–you can afford a house, but not an engagement ring? there’s only 2 explanations for this quandary:
1.danny just didn’t want to waste money on the, you know, love of his life
or
2. our friends at Michael C. Fina jewelers and Sharpie bought the happy couple a home.
Amo–agreed
Funniest part of the recap: RYAN LIKED IT! I was dying when I read that.
Will someone please comment on Wes’ misunderstanding of reality tv? About how the whole point is to have confrontations ON CAMERA? If Wes wanted to have a private life he shouldn’t have signed up to be on the Real World.
Wouldn’t it be funny if Mel didn’t know that Danny didn’t buy the ring himself and found out on the reunion show? The sad fact is I’m sure she knew as soon as she saw it. There’s no way Danny had the cash to buy that ring himself. Besides, he obviously spent all his money on radiation therapy for his skin and the only thing blinging more than her ring was his redonkulous teeth.
Kbomb,
I couldn’t agree with you more. I think Danny is a tool, and I’m glad Neh jumped on him for it. But Neh is a great big giant ASS. And I loved that he wore the gayest outfit of all the guys with that lame scarf and complained about being portrayed as a homosexual.
He was a jerk to jump on Rachel in the final ep, still doesn’t seem like he had any reason for it other than to just find a chance to make her hurt again. The fact that he pushes her buttons cuz it is easy just shows he is cruel.
Cruel, lameass homo.
susie WAS really annoying. jesus, just her name and poodle ‘do were enough to make me cringe, but when she opened her “mouth” to “interject,” i just couldn’t help but laugh..this girl had NO control over the conversation and with her incessant giggling and starry-eyed glares at danny, i think she could be his next stepford wife, behind melinda.
i felt bad for her for about a minute, but then she finally “found” her mousy voice at the worst possible time: right in the middle of a really good fight. i wonder if the cast members were told to sit quietly in their chairs until susie said “we’re back,” so they could commence with the fighting..i wouldn’t put it past this phony cast.
you can bet suchin pak would have regulated thos bitches.
the very end when neh says “yes” and danny retorts “WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM” was the icing on the cake. a cake made of dead puppy skulls and kitten skins.
I guess that Counselor Shawn Realitytvcalendar guy nailed everything about Danny and Melinda months before anyone else. He called every last thing from the ring to the house they got..RTVC had it going on. Sadly, even he got bored with this season and quit. Tools Danny and Melinda are tools.
What a waste of money to buy a house in Boston when they’re obviously going to move to LA. See you on the next 10 challenges.
How about the fact that Melinda was not wearing shoes the first half of the episode? Did anyone else find that bizarre?
i love all of you!
Melinda looks like carrie from that horror movie.
How many times is Johanna gonna say that lame joke, “I learned don’t steal a flower from a bum…”. SHUT UP, Johanna. This girl is a social worker? She’s a moron. Belligerent fool. Also, nice taste in men. This cast sucked. I did gain a little respect for Nehimiah and Lacey a though. Danny is just an insecure jerk. The way he got so hyper defensive whenever someone anything critical to say…. HATE.
I think I may be getting too old for this show.
Danny and Melinda were the same shade of nasty-ass orange. And those teeth and Danny’s caveman-like forehead. It was almost too much.
Lacey and Neamiah were honest and cool. Lacey has some brain on her, Danny tried to attack her and she just slammed him back until he just shut the hell up.
Great recap B Side!
ok, did anyone notice that in that totally staged engagement-carriage ride that danny presented melinda with none other than KORBEL champagne. nothing says class and romance like 5 dollar champagne. . .
what a douchebag
LOLOLOL-
“WES SMELLS LIKE CHEESE”
I have seriously thought the exact same thing about Wes smelling like cheese the whole enitre season. Something in his face and ass remind me of a thick sticky coating of smartfood residue on a ten year old’s face and hands.
What’s that ring-thing sticking out from Danny’s face in the Sharpie ad?
^ That’s HILARIOUS!! Or maybe I’m just tired.
did anybody notice mel’s lame botston accent, i guess banging some scumbag from boston gives you that stupid accent. by the way the patriots suck
Wes’s comment to “cut and go to commercial” was the most whacked of all. Did anybody ever explain to him how The Real World works? Maybe he should listen to the opening credits. Telling Nehemiah that he’s being unprofessional? Gimme a break! Wes exemplifies everything that is wrong with B/M’s casting.
Did anyone else pick-up on the subtext of Melinda talking about what she would have done differently? She said she would have had more fun and not gotten involved in the drama. Part of me thinks she’s already wondering how much store credit she can get at Michael C. Fina. Alas, co-dependent girls like her never learn, they just end up pregnant and stuck…trying to convince themselves that their boyfriend’s jealousy and control issues are signs of true love. Danny and Melinda will be fun to watch on future challenges as they deperately try to win mortgage payments for their crappy condo in suburban Boston. They will be the new Chadwick and what’s-her-face from the challenge in Mexico a few years ago…..certain that everyone is against them because they are jealous of their relationship when really it’s just that they are two lame people who become even lamer when together. I almost feel sorry for them…almost.
I’ve totally seen that blind date. haha.
i am happy for danny and melinda. you two are awesome and i wish you all the best. i think that this season was one of the best ever and i am going to miss seeing you guys every week. and congrats to jo and wes.
^ That really scares me.
Two things:
“resident springer spaniel Suzie from TRL” Hhahaha. She sucked but I felt bad for her, she didn’t know how to handle them.
also when you said Wes felt a word? Hahah. It is amazing how you pick up on these little details that are sooo funny.
and what someone said about Lacey was so right. Yes, she is pale but at least she doesnt look like Danny and Melinda!
“You are loco, Lacey” B-Side have you been hanging out with Casey eating quesadillas?
Omg! Whyyyy wasn’t Melinda wearing shoes for half of the show?? Nasty.
Melinda and Danny – I hope people see them in Boston and throw crap at them. That’d be hot. BTW, crappiest proposal (thank god the MTV cameras were there to document) ever will lead to crappiest and shortest marriage ever. IF they even make it down the aisle, I give ‘em 3 months.
PS – I heard a rumor she was pregnant…?
Wes and Johanna – what can I say? No real surprise there, but honestly, I used to think that she had a little bit more sense than that. Oh well. I give it 6 months.
Lacey – yes, pale as hell, but she tells it like it is and I can’t hate that.
Rachel – attention whore, nothing more.
Neh – He has always rubbed me the wrong way (trying to fight girls for one), but I actually LOVED when he told Danny that he was trying to be like Ben Affleck!!
Page 449: Sharpie bites.
ha!
Yeah, but did you see Melinda’s shoes when she DID wear them? They look like they came from cobbie cuddlers…
Danny and Melinda’s relationship has abusive written all over it.
With a Sharpie pen, I might add.
But seriously, Danny takes jealousy and insecurity to a whole new level. What a douchebag. When Rachel and Neh called him saying that he didn’t want Mel to go shopping with the girls, she used the “it’s-not-him-it’s me” response and declared that she didn’t want to go anyways. So typical. Right, just like how perpetually abused girls always blame themselves when some dude beats them up. That ain’t right and Danny has her brainwashed. Hopefully, though, this isn’t the case, but it’s just sad to see.
What do you guys mean “why wasn’t Mel wearing shoes?” Clearly Danny doesn’t like it when Mel wears shoes. I mean, what’s her fucking problem? GOD! Sometimes she’s just so STUPID I could put her through a wall!!!
Don’t you look at me like that, Mel you bitch! DON’T MAKE ME TAKE THIS LITTLE HAT OFF!!!
THANK YOU steveo.
Wes is an idiot. Somehow he must be the only person in the US who doesn’t realize that he has completely forfeited his privacy in return for 13 minutes of fame (and a lush of a girlfriend with nice cans but crooked 3rd world teeth).
Not a trade I would make personally, but a binding contract nonetheless.
Did anyone notice when somebody told Melinda and Danny that they would have pretty babies she looke down at her stomach? Then then she crossed her arms over her tummy. I swear it was to cover up the fact that she is preggers.
Both Melina and Danny confirmed that they just participated in the Challenge that filmed in Australia, which features viewers versus cast members. Danny said that just for appearing, cast members are paid “thousands of dollars� in addition to any prizes they might win.
Did any one notice that Mel is now speaking with a fake jake boston accent?
Reality Blurred has an update on the Orange Twins (http://www.realityblurred.com/realitytv) Among other things:
Romantic Danny:
Danny said MTV did not pay for the engagement ring he gave Melinda. “I wish,� he said, adding later, “I’ll be paying that shit off the rest of my life.�
Danny said, “If they want to put our wedding on TV, they better pay for it.�
he’s so dreamy…
http://www.realityblurred.com/realitytv/archives/the_real_world_austin/2005_Dec_05_danny_melinda
This was VERY interesting…
the best part was at the end when wes said something like “this isn’t as easy as TRL, huh?” to susie. girl needs a flat iron, and quick.
“After a college appearance in the south, Danny went to a bar, where he says, “I got slipped a roofie. … I have no idea what happened that night.â€?
(http://www.realityblurred.com/realitytv)
^HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
you know that that is the LAMEST excuse EVER! he probably got drunk and hooked up with another girl (not mel), and mel found out and he said, “mel, i got roofied! it wasn’t my fault that i slept with that girl, i am TOTALLY the victim, here!What the hell is your problem? ”
and , of course, the minion said, “you’re totally right, i don’t know why i thought you cheating on me would ever be your fault.”
well, as our good friends at sharpie said, “congrats , mel and danny!” hell, we all know you’ll be in for a long, abusive relationship so, might as well speed up the process by adding booze into the mix.
i saw “the sh*t they should’ve shown” already – pretty stupid but had a few interesting things…
rachel, danny, johanna, and mel all talk about how small and gross wes’ dong is lol
I’m at work right now and I had to bite my lip as not to laugh out loud over the Korbel champagne shout out. Danny is totally classy. MTV couldn’t have sprung for a bottle of Cristal?
Did anyone else notice that Melinda said like two words the whole show?
Moreover, wasn’t it Wes that said that he had better things to do in Austin than work, you know, things such as partying??? Now who is unprofessional?
I thought the thing about bird shit on Wes’s knee was hilarious. Danny looked like he was literally fake, like something out of the wax museum. Good reflection on what he is as a person. I thought Suzie’s hair looked cute. A little poufy, but I’d rather have her hair than Melinda’s stringy mess any day.
this is petty compared to the rest of it, but it’s gotta be said: I can’t stand it that Mel doesn’t seem to brush her hair. It’s all stringy and hanging shittily off her head. She’s a pretty girl, and it pisses me off that she apparently doesn’t do a damn thing to take care of her appearance. (yes, I’m jealous b/c I spend 15 minutes blow-drying and flat-ironing my hair every morning, cuz the non-brushed look doesn’t work for me.)
Though I hope Danny reads this shit to see just what people think of him, we all know he’d poo-poo it as bullshit, because his ego couldn’t possibly comprehend anything otherwise. He and Sarah Dub from Bachelor should get together. It’d be wicked awesome. I don’t think she brushed her hair either.
Sigh. I had such high hopes for this season after watching the first episode…well I was wrong about that.
Anyway I read someone’s comment about those of us living in Boston should trow things at Melinda and Danny. I’ll have you know I’ll keep my eyes peeled and would be more than happy to carry out your request.
Side note… a few years ago, while shopping downtow, I ran into none other than David and Janet of RW: Seattle fame. Janet was pretty nice, but David was completely rude the whole time…he is the original Danny. Anyway my friend and I asked if we could take a photo with them, they told us we only could with one of them, and I am not joking when the impression we both got was that they truly believed we would sell the photo of them together to some sort of tabloid and claim they were dating. (Which it did seem like they were). To be that full of yourself… So we asked David to be in a picture with us, and just looked at us and walked away. Janet followed.
Fame can do crazy things to you…and in their case, by fame I mean being the token Asian chick on the show and being the ridiculous hothead who will only be remembered for getting that casting woman he was dating fired………
Melinda didn’t have shoes on because Danny took them away. That way, she can’t escape from him.
Wes smells like cheese? BWAHAHAHAHAHA
i am from boston, you cannot aquire the accent, you have to be born with it. The Patriots do not suck, count the rings dumass.
Lacey sucks!Lacey sucks!Lacey sucks!Lacey sucks!Lacey sucks!Lacey sucks!Lacey sucks!…she’s ugly …I would rather get with rachel even if she had another 50 lbs on her. Plus, she’s dating a guy that can never have sex. I think she’s probably had a sex change.
F danny, too. He’s a wanna be Marky Mark, Ben Affleck and Eric Nees all wrapped into one.
I like Rachel, and I’m glad she (somewhat) put Danny in his place. He’s definitely changed, no matter sicne I didn’t like him during the season anyway.
I really like Lacey now. I just watched “The shit they should have shown,” and thought she was funny. This show actually made the roomates a little more tolerable. I think that Lacey needs to come on here and dish about the roomates. She could give us all the real story without Susie cutting her off.
Wait, did Danny get chin implants, too??? (after watching what I could stomach of “the shit they should have showed”)
Why are you not able to acquire a Boston accent? I’ve seen many people acquire accents from all over the country and world. What would make Boston different?
lol jess!
two words describing the guys:
douche bags….. humoungous bags of douche
and the girls are in need of
douche bags except lacey
= D
the dane cook fan has spoken
Danny is not from Boston. He is from Billerica.
Billerica-24 miles from Boston
My town-28 miles from Boston
And I understand why people would say, hes from Boston….cuz its an easy place to reference…but no one just picks a big city in Wisconsin, or Wyoming, whereever Melinda is rfom, and says, Shes from there…no everyone else is from some CRAP TOWN in their state…but Danny is from Boston.
And it bugs me that even HE thinks hes from Boston.
Note to Danny: You are from BILLERICA.
Unless I missed where you grew up in Southie, with a Mark Walhergesque adolescence.
I digress. I love the Oompah Loompah look. No self respecting guy from “Boston”, who is a roofer, would friggin mystic tan.
Ass.
“By the way, does Wes have bird shit on his knee?”
I was laughing my ass off when I read that. Excellent recap B-Side.
Melinda probably didn’t talk because Danny wouldn’t let her, like in the last episode. I didn’t even catch the whole reunion cause I was more focused on watching Nip/Tuck but I did see Nehemiah and Lacey calling Danny out. I used to hate both of them but now I have newfound respect for them. I hate Melindanny but I do feel kinda sorry for Melinda cause she definitely has some issues I mean how can she put up with such a moron? BTW, Johanna, WTF are you thinking? She can do a lot better than Wes even with her ugly ass teeth. *cough* braces *cough* As for Rachel, meh not very interesting except that I can’t believe she’s still with her boyfriend I mean if I were him I would have dumped her for sure.
And the award for the most annoying reunion host ever?
Yup. Suzie. Man, what a great idea to interrupt every juicy fight with a commercial break.
Key West better make up for this crappy season.
Did anyone else think the season would have been a billion times better if we had actually seen the sh!t we shouold have seen? *sighs* I’ve lost all faith in the real world
True, “bside is my hero” I agree with you on that. Since I don’t know much about Boston (even though I know there are towns outside of it that say they are Boston) I assumed that since Danny said he’s from Boston that that is where he’s from.
RACHEL PEES IN HER BED WHEN SHE IS DRUNK. RACHEL MASTURBATES WHEN SHE IS DRUNK AND TALKS ABOUT IT. maybe this is just me personally but if i had a tendency to do things like that while drunk i would either NOT DRINK or AVOID REALITY TV ALTOGETHER. I JUST CANNOT GET OVER THAT
I’m glad to know I’m not the only one who thinks Rachel is lacking in the embarrassment department. I admire her for not taking herself too seriously because if I peed my bed while drunk I’d be embarrassed enough if any of my friends found out.
Was anyone else COMPLETELY grossed out when they showed Melinda peeing in the street on the sh#t they should have shown?! And the fact that she claims she peed in the middle of a record store… Get that girl some sense of public decency quick!!!
yes. i was.
Michelle_PR, I am totally cracking up at your “Melindanny” name combo. Too funny!
I had no intention of watching this season – the last one wiped me out, and I just didn’t want to get so involved in their lives again, you know? Well, thank goodness for the Austin cast; at no time was I drawn into the drama of their personal lives, because they managed to live at a superficial level the WHOLE TIME. Not even by accident did someone touch a pocket of deep emotion. I was grateful for that, really I was.
Melindanny (love that!) was meaningless and predictable. Sure they may marry and breed, and one or the other or both of them may end up in porn, but it was nice to absolutely not care about them. And Nehemiah and Rachel and Lacey – I will forget them as soon as they stop showing reruns.
Now here’s where I got caught up – Wes and Johanna. I was actually rooting for the little guy. And I felt – was that joy? – when he announced that Jojo was his (chokes back tear) girlfriend! The thing is, Wes and Jo were the only people on the show that I was even remotely interested in, even when they were being drunken assh***s. So sue me.
I heard Melinda is pregnant too…a girl I know is roomates with Kina from Road Rules…ya know how that shit circulates through all those reality kids who think they are cool.
“bside is my hero” is my little sister…she confided in me that she likes guys that smell like cheese.
which is why I can tolerate you being my brother.
men guys you need to stop messing with danny and melinda. just because you guys have not found true love yet doesn’t mean that you have to be judging somebody else’s.
did you guys notice how lacey was wearing that really dark red lipstick, men you white people need to get a style. c’mon!
and as for nehemiah he should not be calling danny any names because he was all fake in the beginning of the show he was all nice to rachel and now at the end of the show he calling her to fight him. nehemiah instead of calling people names you need to do something about those fat lips and those messed up teeth (fix that gap between them) no wander no girl came up to you. you need to fix those teeth!
i really liked rachel, but c’mon you gained not a little but a lot of weight. you need to loose all that grease.
don’t be talking about jo’s lips when you haven’t even seen nehemiahs.
as for wes he was probably the ugliest guy i have ever seen. well maybe not the ugliest because nehemiah come right before him.
later assholes!!!
guys sorry about all those punctuation mistakes.
but i am not sorry for what i said.
eww..i just saw danny and malindahh on trl..is it just me or did danny look kinda chubby