I’ll admit that I’ve been single for over a year now. I’m totally cool with that, as being single allows me to go out and get as drunk as possible on weekends and not have to face any consequences whatsoever. That’s not to say that I’m entirely against relationships in general, because I am not. However, this week’s episode of the Real World provided me with even
This screen-grab could have easily come from an episode of COPS.
It also provided me with a number of insights as to what to do should I find myself trapped in a relationship with a crazy chick. Yes, this week’s episode was heavy on the crazy behavior and light on the Outward Bound (extremely light in fact), so that makes any episode worthwhile, right? Find out just how crazy the behavior was after the jump.
The episode starts off this week looking at some of the various pictures Jenn has put up of her friends from home, and ultimately we end on the picture of Jared. Well, it just so happens that Jared has called Jenn out of the blue, and he says he’d like to see her if she’s ok with it. Jenn agrees, but her voice is kind of tentative, and Jared asked why she sounds like that.
The pizza guy was caught of guard when Jenn tried to phone bone him. . .
but ultimately, Jenn is cool with Jared coming. She did say that she was kind of nervous about him preventing her from whoring herself around, but she decided to cross that bridge when she came to it.
Davis and Brooke are at the computer hanging out, best friends again.
Brooke looks kind of crazy with some bright eye-shadow on,
but she does not act crazy here. Maybe she took some make-up lessons from Jenn. Anyways, they’re discussing Brooke’s love life in Colorado, and she says she hasn’t really seen anybody that interests her, and she wants a man, not a boy. A gay man if possible, because she loves gay men. She wants a man because they know how to treat a woman. A crazy, crazy, crazy woman. Davis isn’t sure how to respond when she finishes figuring out what she wants in a man, so he just says he’ll charge $70 for the therapy session. Her parents would love the help Davis is giving them (and the break probably).
That night the girls all go out to eat at a sushi place, and Brooke sees a “hot” guy sitting at another table.
Wasn’t he on ROCKSTAR SUPERNOVA.
She actually gets a little out of control excited, and while they’re waiting for the food, she’s stripping him with her eyes. She writes down her name and number on a piece of paper, which she tells us is incredibly out of the ordinary for her, and as the girls leave, she drops the paper off, saying “Just giving that to you,” then walks away. The guy looks at it, scoffs, then pulls out his lighter and burns it in front of Brooke’s face. Actually, he may have said thanks or something, then there was awkward silence as Brooke left. He probably put the paper in his pocket so he could burn it later though. The guy’s friend said “Nice” when Brooke left the piece of paper, so this guy’s probably a loser who never talks to girls. Ever. Good luck with that Brooke.
The next day, as Alex is showering, he asks Jenn what she’s got going on. She says she’s going to see what Jared is doing, since he’s in Denver. Then she says she’s nervous about Jared seeing Alex, because Jared is under the impression that Alex likes Jenn.
Alex’s throbbing shower bone didn’t put Jenn’s woes at ease.
I’m sure it’s not from Jenn’s storytelling, that’s for sure. She says being drunk and having sex is hurtful, but there are no emotions involved. Sometimes there are no memories involved in it either, not that I would know.
Jared arrives at the house, and immediately Jenn is nervous about Jared meeting Alex. It was all for naught though, as Jared shook Alex’s hand (Alex described it as forced, but that could have been for other reasons) and that was pretty much the end of that.
That night everybody was out, and Jenn and Jared were at the bar kind of making out. At the table, Davis tells Stephen that he enjoys having everyone in the house “kind of” like him, but the girls do a lot of things that he could get mad at them for and tell them how he feels, which would then result in the end of being “kind of” liked. So, he’s decided he’s just going to continue talking behind everyone’s back, because that’s never ever backfired on him.
Davis wanders into the bathroom, and he runs into Jared in there. Apparently Jared asked for some dirt on what Jenn has done in the house, and did he ever hit the gold mine by asking Davis. Davis asks if Jared knows anything, and Jared says he knows about some guy, but he’s bad with names. That was all Davis needed, as he tells Jared that Jenn slept with Alex twice (Jared thought it was just once) and she says she’s incapable of being faithful. Any qualms Jared had about getting into a relationship with Jenn before that conversation have surely been laid to rest now.
Judgmental Davis smiles after commenting on Alex’s chin fat.
Alex pulls back his second chin then goes home screams in the bathroom and tears apart Davis’ bedroom.
The next day Davis and Alex are getting a beer somewhere, and Davis tells Alex about the conversation the previous night. (Sidenote: the conversation starts off plain enough, as Davis says, “I think he’s cute. When we were in the bathroom…”) Davis says that Jenn told Jared about Alex once, but not the other time, or the other two guys. I will say for Davis that when he retells a story, he is much more accurate than many of the other people in the house.
Back at the house, the phone rings, and it’s for Brooke. It’s Kyle! The sushi guy! Apparently he didn’t burn her number after all. The two have an awkward conversation, and then Brooke tells him they’re going to Hush that night, so he should stop by. Kyle ends the conversation by saying, “Well, Brooke, you sound like an interesting girl…” Poor Kyle. You have no idea what you’re getting yourself into. Regardless of craziness, Kyle agrees to meet Brooke that night, and Brooke was jazzed.
Fast-forward to that night, the roommates all appeared to be at Hush, but Brooke was standing by herself, waiting at the bar. She was looking around, always making sure to keep her chins up, and finally, Kyle chose to not stand her up on national television. Probably a wise decision. Otherwise, he’d be forever known as Kyle, the sushi guy who stood up Brooke. And that just takes too long to say. Anyways, the two sit down, and I assume they have many more drinks before deciding to leave the bar. I base my assumption on the fact that once outside, Brooke looked pretty drunk, giggling a lot and getting pretty handsy with Kyle.
Elsewhere, we’ve got some bad news. Apparently Jared has chosen this moment, as he and Jenn are walking home, most likely trashed, to bring up his conversation with Davis.
Jenn’s awkwardly confronted while prostituting herself on the cold Denver streets.
There’s some illogical arguing, and when she gets back to the house, Jenn sees Tyrie and explains the situation about Davis telling Jared. Ty just seems pretty confused, but Jenn continues on her rant regardless, and she is not short on threats. “I will beat somebody up if they try to cross me.” “I’m about to kill this mother fudger.” “If I had a gun I would shoot him.” How about the job Davis has done in the past two weeks? He’s received two death threats, though not to his face, in as many weeks. He hasn’t even DATED these girls and they want to kill him. That is power.
Brooke calls Kyle, and she’s pretty ecstatic that he seems like he’s a good catch. They engage in some small talk, which apparently was lacking when they were at Hush. Kyle asks Brooke if she wanted to go bowling that night, but she said she was thinking more along the lines of a bar. Now, I thought Brooke went off the handle crazy last week, but she’s busting out some fresh crazy to us this week.
Dear Brookes Therapist,
Please never medicate this woman. . . she’s too freaking great as she is!
Crazy Relationship Brooke. She tells Stephen that Kyle wants to go bowling, but she says it while fighting back the tears. Stephen asks what was so bad about that, and she responded, “Nevermind, you don’t understand!” Yeah Steve, don’t you understand how HORRIBLE and HUMILIATING it is to be asked to go BOWLING??? I can barely type the word without shuddering in disbelief. Way to be a jerk, asshole.
Brooke goes to her bed to blow her nose and continue crying, and Stephen is perplexed as to what just happened. Obviously, he’s not inside her crazy head, so he doesn’t understand how these things work. He’s trying to help calm her down, but the entire time he’s fighting back the laughter. Bonus points to Steve this week for laughing at Brooke. He goes into her room to play therapist, a role sorely missing in her life since neither Davis nor her parents were there. The scene ends in one of the sexiest nose-blowing episodes from Brooke that I’ve ever scene in my life. Did I say sexiest? I meant most nauseating.
Dude, Davis. . . you should shave. Looks like you have a beard in this photo.
and they’re walking in an area of Denver that I will just assume is near downtown. Davis was telling Alison about the conversation he had with Jared, and he said that he was honest with Jared, so now he feels kind of awkward around Jenn. Well, it just so happens that Tyrie was also in the area, so the two sit down with him. Ty asks Davis if the storm has taken the house yet, although not in so many words. Well, now at least Davis has a warning that Jenn is on the warpath, and he also knows to get out of the house if she has a gun, unless he wants her to make good on her threat.
Back at the house, Jenn is crying on Jared’s chest. He tells her that if there’s anything else she needs to tell him, she needs to do it now. She says she made out with Darnell, and Jared’s response to that was to get up and go smoke. Tyrie is outside also, so Jared says he doesn’t know if he needs the problem that is Jenn. Ty tries to help straight Jared out, since he seems so confused about everyone’s name and/or role. Tyrie was getting exasperated having to explain so much. Jared, dude, lay off the weed. Just a little bit. Please.
Tyrie tells Jared to say what he’s been told by or about Jenn, and then Ty will confirm or deny it. First up is Alex, twice, which Ty confirms. Next is Darnell, and Jared asked Ty if Jenn messed with him. Ty responds with “What did she tell you?” Jared repeats the question, and Ty says “Yes, and she told you that.” Apparently Ty, she didn’t tell him that, so Jared stormed off, pissed.
blah blah blah Jenn blah blah slut blah blah sex with anyone blah blah liar blah
Note to self: Do not try to clear up a cheating situation through Tyrie. But refuse to stop cheating.
The next day Jenn calls Jared, and he sounds surprisingly cheery. He says he was told the best advice ever: “You already knew it was going to happen, so stop being a little brat about it.” You know, I would think something along the lines of “You can’t trust this girl, so get over it” might be a little closer to helpful in this situation, but then again, I don’t enjoy getting cheated on.
Now that everything is patched up (so far), Jared wants Jenn to come pick him up. There’s a problem though, because Davis is taking the car in an hour to go to the aquarium. Jenn asks if Davis can pick up Jared, and he agrees to as long as she comes with. In the car, it’s Davis who initiates the discussion with Jenn about what he said to Jared. She accuses Davis of saying something to Jared along the lines of “So what do you think about Jenn and Alex.” Davis sets her straight and is honest, for the most part, and everything between the two seems to be ok.
Jenn isn’t out of the woods yet though. She told Davis that Tyrie spilled the secret about her doing Darnell, and Jared still doesn’t know about John either. That was a great decision by her the night before. Rather than take the opportunity to get all of your infidelity out in the open, only be partially honest about part of it. Drawing things out in the most painful way possible is usually the easiest way to do things. Brilliant.
Well, Jenn and Jared meet up, and Jenn comes clean (supposedly, we weren’t privy to the conversation) about everything, and Jared takes it all in stride. The two go to have lunch somewhere, and now they’re relieved. Jenn describes Jared as the best person she’s ever met in her life, mainly due to that fact that she can walk all over him and cheat on him and lie to him and she doesn’t have to feel guilty afterwards. Jared then says with that out of the way, the two of them have nothing left to argue about.
This time, the pizza guy gives in.
So everyone’s happy those two will never ever fight again, and Jenn will certainly never get drunk and put their relationship to the test again. And there is nothing delusional about any of those statements.
What did you think of this week’s episode? Have you ever cried when asked to go bowling? Remember when Alex was pertinent to this show? Will Jenn and Jared get married and have lots of babies?
And don’t forget to watch the after show on MTV.com. This week Saul reveals the fountain of youth!