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Thursday, November 3, 2005
1:41 pm
105 Comments
Grab your SPF 30 (or SPF 250, Lacey). The Real World: Austin is headed to Costa Rica! Yes, in that time-honored tradition of exotic Real World vacations, the roommies were whisked away from dreary Austin — home of broken skulls and skanky barflies — and taken down to Central America where everyone could bask in the tropical sun and pretend to be British royalty. Unfortunately, while this little trip did have its fair share of silly drama, we had nothing to rival San Diego’s all out scream-fest or Philly’s pseudo-slutty flirtations with British Guys 1, 2, and 3. Instead, we had monkeys and surfing, which I suppose ain’t a bad thing. It’s better than another night at the Dizzy Rooster.The episode began with a big-ass charter bus pulling up to the Real World mansion. “Don’t they realize there’s only seven of us?” asked an incredulous Wes. Hmmm… Maybe it was a sneaky, “Surprise! We’re taking you to detox!” bus? Alas, it wasn’t, and as the kiddos headed off to Costa Rica, Johanna happily predicted, “I think the trip is going to bring us together!” Um, have you even seen other seasons of this show? (And yes, that was said with full Chandler emphasis. And no, I am not a big Friends fan.)
Well, the roommates arrived at their resort, and after about 1.3 seconds, they were already bouncing around the beach, frolicking like hyperactive puppies. It then only took about another .44 seconds for the guys to shed their bathing suits and become one with nature. There was no real reason for this spontaneous nudity, except maybe some latent bi-curious/male-bonding sentiment. Nevertheless, it was complete and total freedom, and I can respect that. Especially for Nehemiah, who apparently was so modest he actually wore a Speedo under his bathing suit. I’m surprised the simple act of removing these dual layers didn’t become a subplot all on their own.
This would be a bad time for a jellyfish attack.
Nevertheless, after the boys had spent enough time naked together, it was time to hit the bars. Everyone piled into cabs, and as they drove through the streets of whatever city they were in, Wes called out to some hotties on the street… who just happened to be men. To be fair, Wes didn’t realize they weren’t women, which leaves me to wonder just how many trannies he’s “accidentally” hit on in his life. “Those are the hottest men I’ve ever seen in my life!” Wes joked. Man, I can’t wait to see his Midnight Cowboy descent once he moves to a big city.
Anyway, all this Wes stuff was amusing (sort of. Not really), but the real fun of the episode was when a drunk Danny, he of the Napoleon Complex, nearly got into a fight with a local over essentially nothing. You see, a kid on a bike rode by the group and just happened to look at Melinda. Well, that’s uncalled for! “I think picking fights with the locals is the dumbest thing that you can do,” Nehemiah accurately stated. To be fair, Danny’s middle name is “the dumbest thing that you can do.” Nevertheless, Danny was not going to allow some person to look at his fair maiden, and so he assumed his angry, pugilistic swagger, which might have been intimidating had he not been wearing the most popular muscle-tee this side of West Hollywood.
“I’m gonna shut up and walk away?” asked Danny when Nehemiah advised him to hold back.
“Yup. Because I’m better than that,” Nehemiah responded.
“You’re better than that. You fight guys on Sixth Street, but you won’t stand up for yourself here?” Danny then said. Exactly what did Danny have to stand up for? I didn’t realize a passing glance at Melinda warranted a personal attack on his integrity. But then again, I don’t suffer from a debilitating lack of logic stemming from possibly a small penis.
Anyway, Nehemiah effectively shut him up by saying, well, “shut up,” and later at another bar, the two guys talked about Danny’s temper and insecurities. You see, Danny has it rough because every guy turns his head and looks at Melinda. And that’s a problem! Why? Um, because! It just is! Mommy, he’s playing with my toy!!!
But wait! There was a method to the madness. You see, it wasn’t so much that guys looked at Melinda. It was that guys looked at Danny like he didn’t deserve her — which he doesn’t. But I don’t base that on looks. I merely base that on weeks and weeks of possessive, selfish, self-centered, obnoxious, and downright idiotic behavior. Before you send the hate mail, Danny, look at the tapes. It’s there for you to see.
Well, as much as I was enjoying Danny’s self-important wallowing, it was time to move on. Yes, we cut to the Costa Rican beach at sunrise, and with mellow, romantic music playing on the soundtrack, we knew it wouldn’t be long before we saw our favorite couple walking along the sand, professing their love for each other. Ten minutes later, when I woke up, I rewound the Tivo to just after this little sequence and guess what? Time for some STA Travel sponsored fun! Today, the kids would be taking a canopy tour, which meant they’d be gliding along ziplines from treetop to treetop. Very Survivor reward challenge-y. Maybe they’d get to eat some Mayan chocolate also, possibly hang with Jeff Probst for a bit. And yes, I’d certainly like to see Probst whip these kids into shape. One Tribal Council with this cast, and Jeff would have Melinda hanging on his side and Danny marching out of the jungle.
Nevertheless, the kids all zipped through the canopy, which was challenging for Melinda due to her massive fear of heights (I’m sure we’ll be seeing more of that in future Challenges). Still, everyone else had a blast, leading Nehemiah to ask, “How much better can life get?” Uh, probably lots (okay, okay. It looked awesome. I’m just jealous. After all, watching reality stars in paradise is surprisingly much less fun than actually being in paradise). Even Danny looked like he was enjoying himself; however, it should be noted that he did charge a monkey for staring at Melinda.
That night, Danny stunned everyone by announcing that he didn’t want to go to bars. He didn’t travel to Costa Rica just to do what he could be doing in Texas, he explained. Whoa. That seems like an oddly mature outlook. Could it be that Danny ziplined into manhood? Oh wait, no. Nehemiah had the real motivation behind Danny’s attitude: “He doesn’t want Mel talking to other guys.” And yes, I’m sure Melinda will meet some random dude in a Costa Rican bar, fall in love, leave Danny, and spend the rest of her days having wild, passionate sex by the beach. “The kid needs therapy about something like that,” said Wes. And I did not disagree. Even more amusing was Rachel (oh, she was on the vacation too? Oops! Forgot!) who said, “I need to give her that book, ‘Co-Dependent No More’ after this is all done.” But wait, Rachel! I thought that Melinda had gotten over being co-dependent. Isn’t that what Danny and the rest of the roommates had taught her back in the beginning of the season. I mean, right now she’s going from college to college, warning people about co-dependency. Surely she can’t be in such a relationship herself! Ah yes, you can just call me the sarcastic Dr. Phil.
The next day, it was time for another fun activity, and this time, it was nothing exotic. Just pure and simple surfing. Sounds like fun, right? Well, for Lacey, this was quite the daunting challenge. You see, she was pretty scared of surf lessons. And the ocean. And I’m pretty much anything involving the sun. Nevertheless, she and the gang headed out and splashed around in the water, which meant amusing footage of the roommates wiping out endlessly. Oh, and by the way, Danny, we know you love your baseball cap, but you don’t need to wear it IN THE OCEAN. Danny then punched a starfish for looking at Mel.
Well, everyone pretty much had a fun time — everyone but Lacey, that is, who complained about getting smacked by the board and having sand and salt stuffed down her nose and mouth. Let’s face it. She just wanted to go gossip with the instructors. She totally called Ryan that night and was like “So this one surf instructor, he has a girlfriend, but he won’t teach her to surf because he thinks that’s weird, and I’m like dude, you can’t do that. That’s just not right. But then she has a sister…”
That evening, Lacey mentioned at dinner that Wes looks like Prince Harry, which is a fair assessment, assuming that Prince Harry were stumpy, had a bad haircut, and wasn’t wearing his Nazi costume. Well, realizing they had a royal doppleganger in their midst, the gang decided they would pretend like Wes really was Prince Harry. Everyone headed off to the Crazy Monkey (no relation to the Dizzy Rooster. Must… go… to… wacky… animal bars), and soon the ruse was on! Danny and Nehemiah stood around Wes as if they were bodyguards, which would have been cool had I believed for one second that a stuffy British security detail would be waltzing around in tank tops and making exaggerated “I’m listening to my earpiece!” gestures. Still, this whole low-rent episode of Punk’d was amusing, simply because a) Wes didn’t even try to put on a British accent, and b) many American tourists actually believed he was Harry. Of course, in an ideal world, Prince Harry would have actually been in town and then there could have been a chance meeting and then Harry would assume Wes’s identity and Wes would assume Harry’s and then everyone could learn a very valuable lesson! This is pure gold. I’m calling Disney!
Word to your Queen Mother.
Elsewhere in the bar, one of the most ridiculous arguments in Real World history was going down. You see, with all this Prince Harry stuff going around, Danny wanted to know what Melinda thought of that hunky Prince William. Mel shrugged and said he was a good looking guy, causing Danny to then ask, “Would you bang Prince William?”
“If I was single,” Mel answered. I know what you’re thinking: what a slut, right? TOTALLY. Well, Danny could never be with a woman who would theoretically ever sleep with a royal sex symbol if she were single! And seriously, who could? So he walked away, causing Melinda to reprimand him with, “Oh my god. Stop it!” And just when Danny’s reaction couldn’t get any dumber, he then declared, “It’s ovah! It’s ovah!” Yes, Danny actually broke up with Melinda over this. Never mind that he’d probably bone Angelina Jolie in two seconds, even if he wasn’t single.
Well, Danny sought out Wes and again reiterated that “It’s ovah!” And I tell you what else was over: Danny’s tank-top which was now soaked with a big-ass sweat stain on the back. Throw that shit out, dude. It’s been three days, and you’ve been wearing the same thing.
Danny on laundry: “Wicked ovahrated.”
Nevertheless, Danny then wandered out of the bar and drunkenly walked home alone through the streets of Costa Rica. That was smart. Way to look out for each other, roommates! Hey, at least Danny didn’t fly to Buckingham Palace and try to punch Prince William. Yet.
The next morning, Danny woke up and didn’t remember anything. Wes filled him in, and after some laughing and joking, Danny headed out to breakfast where suddenly he became mopey and moody and silent — because let’s not forget: the biggest victim of Danny’s drunken idiocy wasn’t Melinda. It was Danny. Well, not feeling hungry for a scone or a croissant or perhaps a light apéritif, Danny wandered off down the beach, wondering how does he apologize for breaking up with someone when he was drunk. Huh. What a quandary. I think step one would be not walking away from Melinda at the breakfast table. And then step two would be — and this is crazy — saying, “I’m sorry.”
Melinda told us that she absolutely was in the right, and Danny should apologize to her, but of course, as usual, it was she who went and sought out Danny to talk. Time for more lame psycho-babble: “I’m insecure Mel. It’s hard for me to walk besides you and every guy turns around, and it’s just like I feel like I’m not good enough for you.” So you see, because of Danny’s dumb issues, Mel has to suffer. Makes perfect sense. Unfortunately, Melinda just couldn’t figure out where Danny’s insecurities were stemming from. “He has so much going for him,” she said. Well, yes, if you overlook that whole “raging idiocy” problem.
Later, it was time for yet another STA Adventure as everyone went white water kayaking, and guess what? Lacey had fun! Wonderful! Now, back to Danny and Melinda! We re-joined this somber duo as they kissed and made up by the beach. And because he had been such a bastard, Danny even gave Melinda a lovely new trinket of a necklace. Yay cycle of abuse!
With our faith restored in Dannykind, it was time to say adios to Costa Rica and head back to the States. Huh. As far as Real World vacations go, this one was pretty tame. I mean, if the producers could fit everything into one piddling half hour, then you know you’ve got a serious lack of drama. Oh well. There’ll always be the memories. And the STDs.
One of the these girls does not match the others…
What did you think? Fun times in Costa Rica? And should Melinda dump Danny?
TV Social
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105 Comments
Is anyone else disappointed with the lack of gratuitous shots of the girls (sans Lacy and Rachel) in their bikini’s? I’m sick of these episodes revolving around the Boston Dolt and his way-too hot and understanding damsel. Yawn.
Great recap, but I expected more Danny-bashing. But I guess that’s old hat at this point.
OMG!!! Why has Melinda not kicked Danny to the curb yet?!?! He is an awful specimen! Massachusetts is getting a bad rap between him and that rude guy from Paris!
Yay!!! So quick on the recap.
Can we have a poll? Who’s dumber?
A) Danny from the Real World
B) J-Balls from Laguna Beach
C) a sack of rocks
I have to vote for J-Balls. Danny is a drunk idiot but J-Balls is clinically retarded.
In other news, as hot as she is, did anyone think Mel could stand to lose a couple pounds? I did.
This show gets worse and worse as the weeks go on. Hopefully Wes will come out of the closet in an upcoming episode – THAT would make for good TV.
By the way, the Friends reference in the beginning … we need more of them. God, I miss that show.
b-side– you forgot to mention the GREATEST part in the entire episode: when Lacey did that spaztic move as she was going to board the plane..most emotion we’ve seen out of her all season!
* hey, and just because she’s pasty doesn’t man she has a horrible body–she’s got a trimmer stomach than mel and rachel..i heard that gossiping is the quickest way to 6-pack abs..something about all that gabbing affecting your stomach muscles…hmm
*mean^
Um. Gosh. Does that mean all of us out here in TV land had better watch our backs? I mean, once the fact that, like, practically THOUSANDS of us have been, like, looking at his chick for lo, these past several episodes (and even, like, when Danny was out of town at his mom’s funeral, when we all got unfettered, Danny-free viewing of his little woman–when all that wends its way through the boy’s foggy brain, is he gonna come after all of us, too? I especially think you guys here at TVgasm might be in trouble–you’ve used some pretty lascivious language in your praise of Mellie every now and then…
acey looks like that scary ass doll on the bike from saw
http://media.collegepublisher.com/media/paper195/stills/c11yk664.jpg
http://www.tvsquad.com/images/2005/08/lacey.jpg
**i meant lacey**
lacey may be pastey but at least she has some intellegence. Also I really dont think Mel is that hot, she looks like a farm mouse with boobs
J-Balls is dumber, Danny just really really sucks. At least Jason might be fun to party with.
sit, spot..down, boy!
why does everyone hate lacey? she just loves her some gossip..is that so wrong?
i dont hate, i just call ‘em like i sees ‘em
“Yay cycle of abuse!”
Hee! Hilarious…
ok, so she’s not the most attractive person…but you have to admit that lacey is the best character in a LONG time!
Great recap, as per usual.
This was a VERY provocative episode!
First of all…There is no way that Danny was too drunk to remember. That was a total charade. Trust me, I am a blackout-drunk and I have played that game before…Hey, wha happened?
2. “Johanna happily predicted, ‘I think the trip is going to bring us together!’” If they are not already as close as can be after living together and sharing an alcohol bond for months, this vacay wasn’t going to get them any closer.
c. I am about as insecure as men get, and I have never overreacted that much for something so fucking trivial. Danny’s big lesson in all of this needs to have been, (you reading this Danny? I learned this from being married) DON’T ASK A QUESTION YOU DON’T WANT TO KNOW THE ANSWER TO! (as a matter of fact, its just best to make her ask everything.)
Lastly: When the Pilsbury Doughboy and Hamburger Helper have deeper tans than you…black might NOT be the best choice for, what my 3 y.o. calls, a babing suit!
62. Is this the FIRST EVER single ep vacay in RW history? I was amazed!
The first (and $10 bucks says ONLY) smart thing Danny has ever done: figure out that it would be asinine to spend your vacation in bars, when that is your normal livlihood. Of course, then he ruins it by going to another animal-theme-named bar. He’s so retahded.
And that’s the other thing: their JOB is to go to bars and get wasted! (How did it take me 13 years to figure that one out?)
fabulous recap. i am SO sick of danny & melinda.
question – who’s in jail next week? did you catch the preview of wes answering the phone and it was a collect call from the such and such jail?
wren? please haven’t we seen the end of her already?
Danny and Melinda are the worst couple ever. Watching them together makes me want to spit up. Even I know this, and I’m retarded.
DANNY AND MELINDA SUCK!!!
I don’t think Melinda is all that pretty. I really don’t understand why Danny said he’s jealous of every guy looking at her. She only gets the stares because of her fake boobs.
She’s so slutty that I’m really surprised she didn’t take off her bikini top when the guys got naked in the water. It could have been her audition tape all over again!!!
DANNY AND MELINDA ARE THE WORST COUPLE EVER. THEY LIKE THE DRAMA AND WILL NEVER LAST!!!
Nice work, B-side. As usual you didn’t have much to work with but you came through this week.
Folks, this IS an abusive relationship and if you find yourself in one like this get the hell out of it.
Melinda looks like a rat; she’s got one of those Paris Hilton skinny hook noses. Yech. And she’s got a serious tummy happening. Does anyone not notice what could be compared to a post-pregnancy bulge she’s got?
Yeah, Mel is soooo fat. She should totally start starving herself to make Chris and PixieGal happy. Then, maybe they could give their makeup and fashion tips to other people who are ridiculously more attractive than they are.
Super Dave-
I vote for J-Balls also but it’s a close call between him and Danny.
But seriously, my friend saw Danny and Melinda making out at Logan Airport in Boston last weekend. He blogged about it (with blurry cameraphone pics) here:
http://blognac.blogspot.com/2005/10/blognac-real-world-exclusive.html
you suck,
I could care less about how fat she wants to be, but guys talk about how hot she is and I’m wondering why they think she’s so hot.
tara,
fake boobs don’t jiggle like that. plus they’re way to droopy to be fake.
LOVED THE LAST PICTURE!!
Austin is THE LAMEST real world in a long time, which hurts me to say because I’m from Texas. Danny and Melissa are so painfully boring. When I saw the previews for this episode I thought their might be hope but it was a re-run of Danny acting retahded and jealous and then Mel basically apologizing to him.
When will the producers learn? We don’t want to see stupid drunks falling in love! We want to see people who hate each other! People with chemical imbalances and knives! I would kill right now for a Landon or a Frankie or even an Irene…bless her lil’lyme disease riddled carcass, wherever it may be.
Great recap B-Side!
In response to post #4… this is a tough one, but I too will go with J-Wahl. Worst boyfriend EVER! LC better not invite that douche to the party in the next week’s ep.
Does anyone else think this is one of the worst Real World casts? B-O-R-I-N-G. They need to get hooked on some of those drugs those crazy kids from ‘Guna do!
Yeah, I’m from Texas too and I so ashamed of this Cast. Mel and Dani should have drowned in the water when they were in costa rica. They suck . And yeah I don’t think Melindas boobs are fake either, like ezmerelda said, they are way to saggy to be fake. Fake boobs are perky and more round shape. Her’s are a deformed oval. I want Melinda and Danny to go on the RW/RR challenge so veronica and rachel can corrupt her. That would be funny. Then danny would try and fight them, but I have my money on veronica and rachel.
DANNY IS STUPID BUT SO IS MEL FOR PUTTING UP WITH IT! COULD LACEY GET SOME SUN PLEASE??? AGAIN, THIS COLUMN MADE ME LAUGH UNTIL I CRIED!
Danny has a head the size of the midget on Threshold. Huuuggggeee. On the next RW can everyone be butt ugly people so we don’t have to suffer through these boring (happens every season) relationship stories.
Ok, this episode had some great stuff that made me laugh:
Wes saying “Those were men? well those were the hottest men I’ve ever seen!” HAHAH
Nehamiah calling Melinda Belinda. HA
The fact that all the girls had pot-bellies (a little)..well except for Lacey but damn is she white! I know not everyone is perfect but “perfect and hot” melinda needs to do some crunches stat!
Danny has a weird looking forehead, it looks like he has down syndrome. I guess that is why he always wears short-brimmed caps.
wes does not look like prince harry. WTH? And he said that he was the prince of England (hello prince of Wales???). The fact that anyone would fall for that (which i dont really feel like that did) makes me very sad because if american’s didnt realize that he didnt have a british accent then I am scared for us all…
Lol, That is funny bettyb..a perfect description of melinda. Farm mouse with boobs! HAHA.
Am I the only one that thought they got shafted on the trip? I would have opened my bag and said, “Oh. Costa Rica. My high school spanish class took a trip there. Whoo.” I mean, other seasons went to Africa and whatnot. This trip looked strangely exactly like last year’s to wherever they went to wear bikinis and get wasted.
I believe Danny and Melinda are still dating, they have been spotted together in Billerica in the past few months by some of my friends, and one of them told me they think she is pregnant
Danny, Melinda and Wes suck. The others are annoying too but those three are the worst.
Great recap. Hilarious.
How the hell did Wes get on this show? He is unbelievably ugly. Ugh.
Rumor has it that at the reunion, which has already been taped, Mel and Danny announce their engagement…
Del and Manny make me sick!
Notice it’s only women who claim that they don’t think Melinda is good-looking? It’s the reverse of the “Winnie Cooper Corellary” where only women think another woman is good looking.
Not true Josh, I think Mel is really cute! Love the dimples…It does seem like she’s packed on a couple pounds though.
I think it’s pretty low that people are saying Mel is fat. Give me a break, when are we going to stop this anorexic madness. The girl probably weighs 130lbs and she is at least 5″10. I have a feeling that the people calling her fat are a little porky too!! SHE IS NOT FAT!!! And you have to be an idiot if you think her boobs are fake!!
Nice bandana this week Danny. Maybe people are actually staring at HIM on the street- wondering why he wears such stupid headgear and tank tops. He is so annoying with his mopey face.
And for the record, I am a girl and I thought Melinda was very attractive in the first couple of episodes but her stupid “I’m so sexual and crazy but deep down I’m so insecure I will latch onto anyone who pays attention to me” mentality has made me change my opinion. Now everytime she opens her mouth- pretty or not- she’s an idiot and that’s NOT attractive.
I dont think Mel is fat (yes im a girl) but I dont think she’s hot. I think she is over-hyped on this show as the hot one. She may not be fat but she is not in shape, obviously.
and I agree CKlite..she used to be more attractive in the beginning but she just became more and more annoying.
I dont say Mel isnt that hot cause im a girl, I’ll give someone (male or female) props. To me she looks like a little mouse and Danny is Eddie Munster
Good one bettyb, Danny totally looks like Eddie Munster. Maybe that’s why he always wears hats and bandanas. To hide his gargantuan noggin. It’s like Sputnick. Spherical but quite pointy at parts.
And let me explain what I said above. I never said Mel was fat. She’s still hot and I would totally bang her (if I had a huge, oversized bobble head like Danny I might have a shot). All I said was she could stand to lose a couple lbs. Don’t jump down my throat here. I mean, everyone on the RW wants to be in Hollywood, and to be in Hollywood you have to be thin. So when you know you’re going on TV for 6 months or whatever why wouldn’t you hit the treadmill hard? It’s just like Neamiah, who wants to be a filmmaker, calling in the SXSW film. If I was Melinda and knew they were gonna send me on a bikini vacation I would start dropping weight. Aparantly she didn’t. That’s all I’m saying.
I will give someone props too if they deserve it. Sorry that different people have different opinions.
I was actually happy to see the RW girls in their bikinis knowing that they are “normal”. They made me feel good because my stomach is a little smaller than all of theirs. Its a weird world we live in. We’re not used to seeing less than perfect bodies on tv and in movies. Its either you are obese or anorexic, you’re not allowed to have an in-between.
Melinda is not hot. She is too skinny where she shouldn’t be, and flabby/saggy where she shouldn’t be. Its not about her being “fat” which she is not. As a man, I like some meat on the bones. I personally think that Rachel has the best figure of the 4. Melinda has ZERO redeeming attractiveness, Johanna is OK but her grill is messed up, and Lacy has nice skin but could add a few pounds. Rachel, Lacey, and Johanna are all “butterfaces.”
And, again, this is coming from a fat, ugly man…so I KNOW!
Hey Danny…Fankenstein called and wants his head back. I shit you not, slap a couple of bolts on his neck and…
Mullethead, at least you know how gross you are, and the nerve of you insulting johanna….. I’m sure that if you ran into her you’d give your right nut to hook up with her…. you’re pathetic….
Wow, thats harsh. Just because you look a certain way doesn’t mean you cant insult people just like everyone else…..
Johanna has busted teeth, im sure she knows it.
Wouldn’t you think that Danny would be smart considering how freakin huge his head is?
Anyway, can we stop fighting about weight issues now? Don’t you guys see that these people are reality show douchebags who put themselves out there on TV for the very purpose of being ridiculed by us? That’s the whole point.
This one’s fat, that one’s dumb, this guy hides his Frankenstein head behind stupid trendy hats… They get paid to be on TV and play themselves and in return they lose all ability to defend themselves for anything I can think of to make fun of them about. Don’t take this away from me. Clearly I’m not as attractive as Melinda or I would probably be whoring myself out on TV too. That is given. Thus I reserve the right to pick on whatever the hell I want through my wireless internet connection from the safety of a lawn chair in my living room BECAUSE I didn’t go the Frankenstein-Whore route. Make sense?
Hey- so i love that mullethead said Butterface about lacy. I agree with merill you know youd do anything to date the others
Don’t you see, poor Merrill, it’s exactly BECAUSE Mullethead is fat that he can make fun of Johana’s busted mouth? Johana put herself out there on TV so she deserves whatever she gets.
Chris-you’re right on the money with that one!
How funny would it have been to see Danny (5’3″ and 150lbs, 60% of that weight in his forehead) start shit with some Costa Rican locals? Anybody ever see City of God?
They obviously dont only get the really attractive people for tv anymore thoughh-they did pick rachel for the show.
Does anyone remember Danny saying that Bush is a “great president” (early on in the season when Neh and Rachel were having their Iraq fight)? I can’t remember whether that was pre or post skull damage though…
Wait, Danny said that? I have to change my vote then. Danny is definitely dumber than J-Balls.
Chris-Yes, something like that (maybe “great man” but either way it says a lot). But to be fair, J-Balls might not even know who the president is.
Lol-they are both as dumb as rocks.
Wes thought that Prince Harry was the prince of england–but then again, that is a different country and some girls actually believed that they were speaking to prince harry (hard to believe)…
Why has nobody come up with the idea for reality show celebrity jeopardy? Jeff Probst could be the questioner. Imagine J-Balls versus Danny in the final round and the question is:
This 17th century flemish artist painted “View of Dordrecht from the Dordtse Kil.”
I’m sorry Danny, the answer is not Von Dutch
J-Balls, please stop sniffing the pen and write an answer. No J-Balls, don’t eat the pen. Do you need a time out?
That episode where they were all fighting about Bush and the war really got me annoyed! Nehamiah said something about how the war was pointless and we have no reason to be in Iraq..danny’s response was “Hello! they killed thousands of people on 9/11″ I was just thinking–um, who in Iraq did that- i thought it was established that Bin laden was to blame. The whole thing pissed me off.
Alikat, yeah, I remember thinking to myself: Who exactly are “they,” Danny? Do you mean everyone with brown skin or just all Muslims? Jackass.
City of God was set in Brazil, not Costa Rica.
This episode was soooooo boring and disappointing.The Real World vacations always promise for some excellent drama and a bridge or two being burned. (i.e. Sarah and Mel (Philly), Frankie and the rest of cast (San Diego)). But instead we had to sit through more idiotic Danny insecurities and drama. I am so sick and tired of him. Mel, get some sense and please dump him !
This season is getting worse and more boring by the episode. The casting director should be shot because there had to be more interesting and less obnoxious people out there.
I agree, whoever cast this real World really missed the mark. The only other cast I can think of that was this boring is maybe London.
My question is, why didn’t they include one person from Texas (or at least the South) to be on the show? I think a racist redneck troublemaker would have been perfect to add to the mix. He could hate Nehemiah for being black, Rachel for being Jewish and Danny for being a yankee. He could really stir some shit up and piss everyone off by leaving his cups of tobacco spit all over the house. In the end he would learn some valuable “lessons” about tolerance and understanding, and everyone would live happily ever after. Hooray!
Kiki you idiot, that’s not the point The Dude was trying to make at all. He just wanted to see Danny get his ass kicked by some hardcore thugs.
stevo- you forgot paris– that cast BLEW!
Yeah, Paris sucked too! Whoever casted this season fell asleep on the job!!!
Where is the location of the next Real World? I thought I heard where, but I forgot. Or maybe I’m dreaming…. I hope the next season redeems itself!
detroit.
as said on the weekend update on SNL “the next season of the real world is set to be shot in detroit…” something about roomates being shot. sorry, i ruined that joke.
tara,
actually, the next real world to air is in key west fl. they are thinking of doing the season after that, in a suburb of detroit. but not confirmed yet
Hmmm…Danny totally sucks. I’d have to say J-Wahl is smarter because he’s somehow landed three hot (one annoying) chicks in the span of one Laguna season with a vocabulary consisting of “um” and “yeah”. And why does Melinda keep taking the blame for Danny being insecure and being so mean to her? I feel really bad for that girl. Awesome laugh-out-loud recap once again. B-Side, you are my hero.
Actually Merrill, I’m not gross, and I value people a little more than to hook up with a moron like Johanna. I am happily married to a woman who is FAR better looking than Johanna, and I am comfortable with myself, so you can fuck off.
If she’s stoopid, and her teeth are fucked up, I want nothing to do with her, give me a smart, ugly chick, with a nice set of teeth, and I’ll be all over that.
I take exception to your post, LiLo. I am not hot, and my cooter smells like week old chow fun shrimp.
Danny sucks! Who the hell surfs in a hat?!?! But I think Melinda is equally as pathetic. It’s almost like they both get some weird enjoyment out of pissing each other off and then apologizing for it so they can have endless make-up sex. I also think Danny is delusional about how hot his girlfriend is. Yes, Melinda is pretty, her smile is incredible, and her boobs are the size of my head, but she is not the cat’s pajamas. (And I might add that she could stand to go up a size or two in her bikini… those girls were begging to be set free). Furthermore, they were in Costa Rica! The guys checking out Melinda were probably checking out Lacy too. Also, I am guessing that the trailing cameras make people take a second glance as well. I am really disappointed with this season, especially because I am from Austin, and they make the city look so boring. It has probably been said many times over, but the cast picks the crappiest bars to go to! There are blocks and blocks of bars to choose from downtown (not just 6th Street) and they spend their time at the lame Dizzy Rooster. Also, they look like total brats by pissing away a chance to work for South by Southwest. All that being said, I can’t stop watching the show.
Sure, Danny is dumb and obnoxious but lets not forget about Wes.
Wes may be retarded. I mean that literally. Wes is retarded!
Great recap B-side
favorite quotes:
“Grab your SPF 30 (or SPF 250, Lacey).”
“Danny on laundry: “Wicked ovahrated.”"
“He has so much going for him,” she said. Well, yes, if you overlook that whole “raging idiocy” problem.”
“One of the these girls does not match the others…”
Had me laughing my ass off, you’re great, keep up the good work.
With Danny on the Real World- It’s getting hard to say I’m from Billerica.
What a dope!
Love your recaps!
i still can’t figure out why they hang out at the shittiest bars in austin. dizzy rooster? paradox? please PLEASE don’t ever visit these places if you ever go to austin, they suck. what a waste…
^other bars may not let them shoot video inside?
This episode marks the first time this season that I have Tivo’d through a full segment, that talk between Danny and Mel at the end was painfully dull, at at this point so repetitive. Something needs to happen before I lose my last remaining shred of interest in this case.
I love how worked up Jesus got over a simple correction…calm down, its not that serious dude.
HELLO, you are mean and mentally stuped. who our we saying and putting a lable on theses people we don’t even know? and who our we to say that danny dose not derserve melindia, let’s let her make her own disigion!mabe danny was trying to make a point? stop making fun of every little sorry ass comment said on the show too! IT SOUNDS TO ME, HOW YOU GUYS BASH MELINDIA AND DANNYS RELACIONSHIP. YOU OUR ALL JELOUSES. YOU WISH YOU COULD BE WITH DANNY YOUR SELF. so why do we read this crap anyway? it’s just one persons appinion too. BYE THE WAY OVER IS NOT SPELLED OVAH TOO! STUIPED!!!!!! SO IF YOU COULD RIGHT A NICE REPORT FOR ONCES IT WOULD BE NICE! YOU MUST HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO ANY WAY! SO GO TAKE A HIKE, bitch! (: have a nice day!!!
*relationship
*jealous
*stupid
who said you had to come and read it anyways.
Anna-
Are you serious? That post was just written in the ugliest, most butchered english I have ever seen in my life. I could write better than that when I was in grade school…and lmao @ you having the nerve to try and correct a spelling error that was made INTENTIONALLY by b-side. Smh. Stay in school kid. Illiteracy is a terrible disease.
Stef-
She made wayyyy more spelling errors than that. I couldn’t even begin to try and correct that for her. I would try to decipher it but unfortunately I can’t read heiroglyphics.
hey danny u need to lighten up.u have a wonderful girl before you.most women would take u 2 take a hike.melinda seems like a wonderful person.u could have lost her for ever over that bullshit u pulled in costa rican.chill-out dawg.u need to be grace ful that u have a woman like mel in your life.stop and think before u act.life is very short enjoy while u can and while u r young.
anna, what is wrong with you?
Is this Anna person serious?? Why is she so protective of the RW cast?? Like they give two shits about her. And how could she even read the postings clearly she has reading/spelling disability!! Calm down Anna and stay in school
That is hysterical that she commented on someone’s spelling. A 1st grader could have wrote better than that.
“HELLO, YOU ARE MEAN AND MENTALLY STUPED” almost as funny as the recap.
anna- are you missing parts of your brain?
Melinda is my ex we r 2 gether she don’t want that lame danny. That whole thing was fake.So stop hating. Punks if u got beef holla at me 3343248770
austin guy I totally agree. I used to live in austin and those bars are the worst. I wouldn’t set foot in them.
also to all that said the girls are a little bit chunkier than when the season started…i agree. BUT you try drinking 24/7 for months and watch the pounds pile on. It is hard living being an alcoholic…
Danny…… Punched…Starfish…….. cannot stop laughing….. funny as hell…..thank you, i needed that!
Ok Bryan Barrow…first you are giving your number on the Laguna page and now saying you’re Melinda’s ex on the real world page. Do you need a friend?
Oak, I think mel is totally pretty, but I think she has low self esteem. And even though Johanna has a messed up grill and lacey is pasty, at least they know who they are and are both pretty confident.
Lagunafan. Look bitch first u dont know me. U need to get a life. Do u have a problem wit me putting my number on. Don’t hate if Melinda is my ex. One day you”l have a man if any of em like ugly dikes. Ha ha lol. I’m a pimp so I might let u hook for me on the streets if u want. U know my number bitch. Let me know I’ll be sure to give u about 5% of ur earnings. Think about it.
Ok freak. First of all, you are the one posting your phone number on a comment board. Second, it was a joke you need to chill.
You would be lucky to have someone like me and I have a “man” (cheesy ass) thank you very much!
That will be all.
B-side, I know the legal system needs you but we need you more!
Ok Bryan Barrow..wow someone has issues.
So did you get a lot of phone calls? prolly not~!
Danny then punched a starfish for looking at Mel.
Oh No! Poor Patrick!
Danny is a menace to the residents of Bikini Bottom and all of humanity.