Goodbye, America’s Rose

Reality TV

By Tabloid Baby | Friday, February 9, 2007 | 10:45 am | 3 Comments

annanicole.jpgWas Anna Nicole Smith really the Marilyn Monroe of our time? Is she the Princess Diana of Reality TV?

The way the network news and celebutainment shows are joining forces slogging through the mud in tribute to the sad beauty, we can’t help but think that maybe she does complete that particular Die in Threes triangle.

And now, someone has sent us a song that confirms it.

Goodbye America’s Rose comes “with apologies to Elton John…which are wholly insincere because he was such a bitch to Madonna.”

The lyrics are sure make you cry:

“Goodbye America’s Rose”

by Mike McNamara

Goodbye Vickie Lynn
Though I never knew you at all
You were the crazy glue
Stuck to the hearts of us all

You crawled out of the fast food stand
up to Guess? and to Playboy
And you brought leagues of men
Lots of masturbation joy

And it seems to me you lived your life
Like a Red Bull mixed with gin
Never sleeping, never sober
Until the pain gave in.
And I would have liked to known you
But I was a too poor gay kid
Your sanity ran out long before
Your TrimSpa ever did

Spilling cereal on your chest
Drooling milk down your chin
You were truly outrageous
Even more so than Jem

Another people’s princess lost
The empty eyes under your smile
Your death is incredibly suspicious
Could see that from a Texas mile

And it seems to me you lived your life
Like a Red Bull mixed with gin
Living fully, living happy
Until Howard K Stern moved in
And I would have liked to have known you
More than just your show on E!
The Supreme Court gave you a ruling
I hope you’re finally free…

(See more from the poet Mike McNamara here.)

–Tabloid Baby

3 Comments

  1. 1
    ByeByeBitches
    Posted February 9, 2007 at 1:29 pm

    haha, amazing. last night we were raising our drinks for anna at karoke.

  2. 2
    georgiababe
    Posted February 9, 2007 at 11:40 pm

    What is this Die in Threes thing that people are talking about? Thousands of people die everyday, how can it be in threes? And who would be the Three?

    ~Georgia~

  3. 3
    Roi
    Posted April 10, 2007 at 11:04 am

    Blond, stacked, and without any detectable talent whatsoever… I guess she was this generations Marilyn Monroe.

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