By PennyDreadful | Friday, May 25, 2012 | 9:16 pm | 76 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Eden's World, Recaps

Howdy, Gasmii!  I am enjoying some delicious plain potato chips.  Because sometimes, you don’t want the fancy-schmancy flavors or offbeat ingredients.  You just want a regular, classic potato chip.  It’s like the Amish of chips. 

 

 C’mon.  You know you want one.

Thus fortified, let’s get into our ep.

We’re back in Hattiesburg MS, apparently the pageant capital of the South.  Samantha “Sammy”, who is 12, has sent a letter to — well, to whom?  Not Eden, she can’t read.  Shparkle, I guess – saying her mother wants her to stop with the pageants, and Sammy wants the E-Team’s help in getting her mother to knock it off.

Lori, the mom, says bad women on pageant mom boards “bash” her.  Sad horns.  They said she beat Sammy if she didn’t win! First, why are you on the boards, and if you are, why are you looking at threads about yourself?  Second, exactly how polite are you, Lori?  Third, if you put yourself in the public spotlight, you have to deal with folks’ reaction.  Not everyone is going to like you.  That’s life.  Get a grip.

Shparkle says she’s been bashed on the boards too.  She shares you have to either shut it out and focus, or else quit.  Eden pipes up with some treacly “don’t quit” stuff. 

I be pageantin’, they be hatin’.

Heather suddenly asks if their problems are with the Grimleys.

I must say, that’s a terrible accusation and it makes me completely mental!

Is there an entire family of Grimleys?  Grimlii?  Guess we’ll find out later.  In response to Heather, Lori says they’ll see the troublemakers on Saturday at the pageant.  Oooh suspense.

Shparkle then says “I keep my opinions to myself for the most part”.  WHEN?  Give us one instance of you ever shutting your yap.  EVER.  Thought so!  She goes on to say “we do our talkin’ in other ways”. 

Out of her a-s, presumably.

She then says “we’re going to share some stuff with you that’s far bigger than pageants”.  Is it Come to Jesus time?

No.  It’s See What a Star Eden is allegedly is time, again.  Shparkle says they need to seize opportunities to do whatever Eden has to do, wherever they’re at.  Does a 6-year-old have to do anything?  Well, apparently she has to record.  We now go to what seems like a basement, rec room or somebody’s garage to hear Eden record Country Queen.  While Eden “sings”,  Shparkle, Heather and Cutabitch stand behind the “sound engineer” and sway to the music, kind of like lumbering rhinos. 

Here are the only 2 lines of Country Queen that were intelligible:  “My John Deere’s pink/And my lawn is green”.  And then Eden “sings” a bunch of garbled words that I could not make out at all.  Yeah, great future in singing – or acting – if no one can understand you.  And didn’t you and Shparkle get advice a couple of weeks ago to, as you so charmingly put it, spit the words out?  So do it!

In the middle of all this, Andrew comes in and wonders (to the viewers) why they couldn’t even call him to book a studio with up-to-date equipment and a sound engineer who actually looks professional.  Aloud, he asks Shparkle why they’re recording in MS instead of NYC.  Shparkle says “we’re here”.  Can’t argue with that well-reasoned and cogent argument.  Cutabitch says a studio is a studio regardless of where it is.  First, shut up.  Second, a studio is a studio, but somebody’s spare room isn’t.  Eden shares Andrew is “shushy pushy”.  Why is every phrase that comes out of Eden’s mouth either hackneyed beyond belief or nonsensical?

Now Lori and Sammy show up, and Sammy “raps”.  Well, she calls it rap.  I call it awful.  She and Eden are well matched, I’ll say that.  Two white girls speaking the language of the streets to their peeps. 

Impressed by this show of talent, Lori says she thinks there are “bigger things out there”.  Well, yes there are bigger things “out there”.  Like

and

Yay for stating the freaking obvious, Lori.

And now we get to the adultery/dolphin discussion.  Andrew invites Heather to coffee so they can have it out.  He says he’s noticed Shparkle and Eden are distancing themselves from him, and blames Heather.  She retorts they need her to protect them from the sharks.  Andrew says it takes a shark to know a shark, and Heather says “adultery” (later revealed to be “a dolphin”) could kick a shark’s a-s.  Sidebar:  it may not kick a shark’s a-s, but apparently adultery kicks John Edwards’ a-s.  Just sayin’.

Andrew says he doesn’t mind being a shark, and Heather says she doesn’t mind being a dolphin.  I don’t mind THROWING SOMETHING THROUGH MY TV.  Heather says Andrew only cares about money and it’s not just business to her, it’s personal.  Andrew responds that he doesn’t care, she needs to get in the car and buckle up.  Heather then says he’s on her turf, and she’s been doing this for a long time, to which Andrew responds “You want to play management wars? Let’s go”.  I want to play “fire everyone”.  Guess how that game is played?

Commercial.  And thanks for MrsMiaWallace who answered the question on everyone’s mind in her comment on the Minicap:  yes, dolphins can kill sharks.  (I’m chuffed that we actually have a Marine Biologist Gasmii!  Or at least one who knows something about dolphins -same diff!)  How do they do it?  They rush at the shark’s weakest area, its underbelly.  Just like Heather then, hitting below the belt.  Dolphins don’t attack unless they’re provoked or protecting injured dolphins, though.  So that’s the big difference – dolphins are way more ethical than Heather. 

We return to NYC and go to Beach Bum Tanning, a tanning establishment that is interested in putting together a sunless tanning product line for Eden.  Andrew shares he’s going to show Heather how to manage a brand.  Nicole and Dante are the owners, and Dante says there are very few celebrity endorsements for sunless tanning products.  Yes, and they’re all trainwrecks too:  Kardashians, Lohan. . . 

Heather immediately interrupts and won’t let Dante even give the details of his proposal or show them any products.  She keeps insisting on a signed contract before they can talk.  Andrew tells her there’s nothing to be skeptical about, and Heather keeps saying they won’t do anything without a contract.  Shparkle shares this could be a great deal, and Andrew has really come through.  Eden pipes up and says she wants vanilla, strawberry and cherry.  What?  Popsicles?  Slurpees?  Strawberry Shortcake dolls? 

Speaking of, here’s Strawberry’s friend, Blueberry Muffin.

And what can only be her archrival and superskank, Cherry Jam.

Is it just me, or do these sound like stripper names?

Apparently the vanilla, strawberry and cherry Eden’s talking about are flavors for her sunless tanning product.  That’s nice.  Make a product for kids that smells like food so they’ll eat it and poison themselves.  Well, less competition in the cut-throat world of child superstardom, I guess.

I hate to admit it, but this round goes to Heather.  She’s right to insist on a signed contract before there’s any discussion.  Don’t think I’m going soft on you, Gasmii.  This is the first and last time I’ll have anything positive to say about her!

Now we see Sammy and Lori back in MS, getting a call from Shparkle and Eden, who are inexplicably crouched on the filthy sidewalk in NYC.  Are they auditioning for a revival of Les Miserables? 

Miserable and scantily clad.   Must be pageant gals.

Shparkle tells Lori that if children want to pursue something, “parents have to bite their tongue and go on down the road”.  Or actually parent properly.

And here’s our cheese portion of the show, where we meet Asiago*, a designer who likes sparkles and bling.  How revolutionary for a gay designer!  Asiago wants Eden in his upcoming Fashion Week show.  Funny, I read Tom & Lorenzo’s blog every day, and I don’t recall their extensive Fashion Week coverage ever mentioning Asiago or, for that matter, any cheese-named designers at all.   So I question where this “fashion show” will be.  I foresee another garage/rec room since Asiago appears to have his atelier in a corner of his living room.  Asiago describes himself as a “designer, an artist, a philanthropist and a humanitarian”  who is inspired by “God and Love” and shares he “kind of has the golden touch.  I feel like I always touch celebrities before they blow up to mega stardom”. 

Or get a restraining order.

Just FYI, Asiago, giving a quarter to the homeless is not philanthropy, and sleeping with chunky guys doesn’t make you a humanitarian.

It doesn’t?  C’est fromage.

Asiago asks if Eden’s done runway before, and she demos her “modeling” as Shparkle tells her to “show them what you can do, sister”.  Asiago says he’s considering Eden opening his show.  She’s his “little Barbie doll” and he loves “sequins, glitter and little divas”.  Heather shares that she thought this was a joke.  Shparkle shares that she loved Asiago’s personality, but that’s “as far as it’s going to go”  and this isn’t right for Eden.

They leave, and Asiago shares he’d like to be a pageant mom.   You’re almost there already. honey.

Commercial. 

We return to NYC where Shparkle is trying to train Eden.  Too little, too late is my thought.  Apparently Eden has a “purple cow theory” which is not a theory but yet another one of Eden’s little insufferably trite catchphrases.  Shparkle says when Eden wants to fidget – which is 99% of the time  when a director – or anyone – is talking to her, she is supposed to think “purple cow stand still”.  How does thinking of a purple cow make someone stand still?  Wouldn’t it be better to think of the Taj Mahal or a mountain or the Empire State Building or something that is inanimate and hence stands still?  Cows move around all the time.  And why “purple”?  Is this at all related to the charming poem gun kata posted in the Minicap comments:

I’ve never seen a purple cow
I never hope to see one
But, I can tell you this right now
I’d rather see than be one.

But there’s no mention in the poem of standing still!  Also, what’s wrong with purple cows?  I’d rather be a purple cow than Eden.  ‘Cause a purple cow wouldn’t have Shparkle as a mother.

Eden interrupts Shparkle to say she gets it, to which Heather responds no she doesn’t or she wouldn’t have interrupted her mother.  In comes Andrew with his puppy, and he has “amazing news” that Eden has been invited to be in a celebrity and dog fashion show at the New Yorker hotel.  Shparkle says she’s “gotta give it to you” (please god, no). We now see Eden posing on the red carpet, and Heather shares “I can take her to the pound and take some shots of her with dogs”.  Or with Cutabitch – saves a trip. 

I’ve got 99 problems and a b-tch IS one of them.

Heather goes on to say they could have gone to Westminster because “this is a dog show, not a fashion show”.  What tipped you off, Heather, the fact that Andrew described this as a dog show? This is 1.5 on career advancement, per Heather.  Oh, as opposed to the 0.0 on career advancement you’ve scored so far?

Inside, Eden is prancing down the catwalk with Andrew’s poor scared dog, Ella, as we hear that execrable Underpuppy song again.  Andrew says we should call him Hulk Hogan.  And Muhammad Ali.  Whatevs.  And no.

Commercial.

Back to this never-ending show.  How can a show that is allegedly 30 minutes – 22 minutes after commercials – last longer than the Ring Cycle? 

Es ist ein Meisterwerk! Auch, warum gibt es eine Ente auf meine Kopf?

We’re in MS for the pageant.  Is this the same pageant as last week?  How many trumped-up pageants can one tiny town hold?  Shparkle advises Lori to let all the haters fall by the wayside.  Andrew goes over to talk to one of the Grimlii and says her bad reputation precedes her, and jealousy is a sickness.  She just looks at him.  Score:  Grimlii 1, Andrew zip.  Shparkle then comments Andrew is a “one-trick pony”.   No, he’s a jackass.  Same genus though.

We see Sammy in her talent, with Shparkle bellowing “yew go gurrl” and some woman (another Grimlii?) looking at Sammy.  So . . . they . . . look.  Wow.  That’s brutal.  I can see why Lori is so bent out of shape.  People look at someone up on a stage?  These Grimlii are diabolical!  Score: Grimlii infinity, Lori nil.

Weird-looking, not a threat.  You could probably distract them with something shiny.  Or a Twinkie.

Shparkle says Sammy’s phenomenal, and Eden says she’s “got game”.  Predictably, Sammy wins Grand Supreme Flautas con Pepita Sauce.

Is this the new “street” way to wear a crown?

Lori says she’ll let Sammy continue in pageants.  What a nailbiter this ep was!

Bravely soldering on.

Just so we end on a depressing and disgusting note,  Heather then confronts Andrew to tell him to stop antagonizing people, to which Andrew responds if they don’t want him to approach someone, he needs guidance.  Here’s your guidance, Andrew.  STFU. Always.

And here’s your sign:  You’re on Eden’s World and you’re taking it seriously.

Heather retorts she’s lost count of how many times she’s told him to stay away from pageant moms.  Andrew says she treats him like an a-shole and doesn’t appreciate “a goddamn thing I do” for Eden.  Heather – screaming by this point, as is Andrew – says if he treats her with respect maybe he’ll get some. 

And now as promised, that shot of Heather in her khaki pants.

She’s Lagerfeld’s new muse, you know.

Shparkle shares she’s tired of being the “eye of the storm”.  I think she means “between Scylla and Charybdis”, but we can’t expect a teacher to make a classical reference, can we?

Well, THIS one, yes.  Point taken, Mr. Sumner.

Heather shouts Andrew is trying to make her like him (um, no idiot, he’s trying to drive you out) and it’s not going to happen, Andrew shouts back that he’s trying for “her”, and Heather tells him to move on.

Shparkle winds up the show by saying that if either Andrew or Heather thinks she’ll pick their side they have a “bitter pill to taste.  Because the only side this old girl is ever gonna pick is Eden’s”. 

Not this guy?  SO thought you were besties.  Or are you just two-timing Mr. Daniels?

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Named for lurid serialized stories (so like today's reality TV) that sold for a penny a copy in Victorian Britain, former National Spelling Bee finalist and multiple Science Fair award winner PennyDreadful has been writing for TVGasm since 2011, and cites MST3K as inspiration.

Follow PennyDreadful on Twitter at @kcvinweho.

 

76 Comments

  1. 1
    kthxbai kthxbai
    Posted May 25, 2012 at 11:58 pm

    @PennyDreadful ROFL You made me have to put Kleenex on my eyes!

    OMG I finally figured out what Heather’s pants were reminding me of!
    Pat from those real old Saturday Night Lives! They stuffed her costume to look just like that!

    And you know I’m never going to see anybody on this show again now without thinking about lumbering rhinos and adulterous dolphins and cute little mini stripper dolls.

    I think they should have gone with the Asiago cheese show. Just in case Country Queen takes longer than they figure it will getting to number 1 on any of those lists of stuff people pay for.

    I ♥ gun kata for knowing the Ogden Nash poem! But I’d be real surprised if any of the E Team did. They must be talking about a different purple cow.

  2. 2
    gun kata
    Posted May 26, 2012 at 12:43 am

    Ooooh! I’m mentioned in the recap! But, the “purple cow theory” (that name, sigh) makes no sense.

    I thought we found out Eden couldn’t read this episode? Or am I still in shock?

    Shparkle, Heather, and cutabitch need to load up in the van and go tour the great distilleries of North America. Then Andrew needs to deliver their daughters to responsible adults who will send them to school. Then, he can go back to his previous job.

    I can’t believe Sammy is wearing her crown thusly. Weird.

  3. 3
    gun kata
    Posted May 26, 2012 at 12:52 am

    Kthxbai, aw shucks. :) I would be literally terrified to find out how much the Eeeee Team doesn’t know.

  4. 4
    kthxbai kthxbai
    Posted May 26, 2012 at 1:21 am

    Just in case there’s anybody that hasn’t seen it, here’s a youtube of an interview with Eden

  5. 5
    Djmacaronisalad
    Posted May 26, 2012 at 1:47 am

    I am printing out that picture of Heather in her khaki’s and plan to pull it out whenever I feel even remotely unattractive. WTF Heather? It’s like she goes out of her way to find the least flattering clothing available. Mickie’s got the Stevie Nicks look, Heather’s has the Scooby Doo Thelma thing going on and Eden is a 7 YO wearing full make-up on a Tuesday afternoon – fashion tragedy, comedy gold. Thank you Logo!

  6. 6
    gun kata
    Posted May 26, 2012 at 3:08 am

    Oh, Gasmii. There is another song on the way: “Pageant Mama Drama” and they’re making a video!
    http://www.americanstardiscovery.com/Casting.html

  7. 7
    April
    Posted May 26, 2012 at 6:32 am

    I thought Sammy was adorable. She is a cutie. I hate that something she enjoys is being ruined for her. Some of the girls like pageants and if they enjoy it, then I don’t have a problem with them doing them. She is old enough to actually know what she wants instead of the little girls who are forced to do it.

    I about died laughing during Andrew and Heather’s meeting at the coffee shop. They just threw out one cliche after another and bad analogies. OMG!

    Boy George was too much! Finally they found someone who wants to work with her and they turn him down. Even though I can understand why they did turn him down. He was too much! He was fun though.

  8. 8
    gun kata
    Posted May 26, 2012 at 8:42 am

    Wow, she’s annoying in that interview. But, it is abundantly clear her mother didn’t know how to prepare her or how to get her back on track. This looks like one of those interview set ups where the interviewer and interviewee can only see one another. It may have been difficult for Eden to understand many people can see her. Also, it looks like a set up where the interviewee talks to multiple unseen people and basically does the same interview over and over. Shparkle has no idea what to do when the bottom line is maybe Shparkle didn’t need to put Eden through that in the first place.

  9. 9
    gun kata
    Posted May 26, 2012 at 9:06 am

    I meant they can’t see one another. I guess i shouldn’t try to post a comment while someone is yelling at me.

  10. 10
    Dear Crabby
    Posted May 26, 2012 at 1:00 pm

    So wait, Heather and Shparkle are dating, right? Or is it Heather and Fransolonely? Or is it Shparkle and Fransolonely? Or is that why Andrew is pissed, because it’s a threesome and he’s locked out – in more ways than one, I’m guessing? I’m just sensing a lot of gar-goil-on-gar-goil action (I’m seeing your Ogden Nash and raising you an E.E. Cummings).

    Great recap – the scene with Andrew and Heatty snarking at each other made them both look like morons. If Eden were any good, a better agent/publicist/agency would have swooped in by now.

    Hot mess of a show and I love every minute of it!

  11. 11
    confusedinCanada
    Posted May 26, 2012 at 1:09 pm

    Sweet Jesus, anytime I feel like eating some fatting, I’m going to look at those pants and shut the fridge door. Is this show just getting worse or am I wrong in thinking this.

  12. 12
    confusedinCanada
    Posted May 26, 2012 at 1:14 pm

    @ PD, ok, I’m calling in sick on Monday so don’t tell me boss :-) We had last Monday off as Victoria Day up here and I would love another long weekend.

  13. 13
    Gilty Plezzur
    Posted May 26, 2012 at 4:10 pm

    I think that designer’s name is Indashio, or something like that. He was a contestant on a low-budget fashion show called “24-Hour Catwalk” that came on after “Project Runway.” Four designers had to throw together their creations in a couple of hours and then the final two had to come up with a “collection” within 24 hours. Indashio (or however you spell it) was highly obnoxious and defensive and set gay rights back about 100 years. Obviously, he didn’t win and even stormed out after an uncalled-for tantrum. It would be fun to see him, Schparkle and Heather getting into a big feud. I’m a bit sorry that they didn’t want to join up with him.

  14. 14
    April
    Posted May 26, 2012 at 4:21 pm

    Thanks Gilty for the funny story about Boy George.

    What is up with all these folks getting on whatever different reality show they can get on?

  15. 15
    gun kata
    Posted May 26, 2012 at 5:17 pm

    Gilty, omg… thank you for explaining about Indaisho. I watched some of “24 Hour Catwalk”, so that explains why he seemed oddly familiar.

    April, they have casting boards and some try to get on as many as they can. Since Indaisho has finally made Logo maybe he’ll feel the fabulousness within and stop sneaking onto reality shows.

    So, did he get cast on this show through a casting call on the reality show OR was Andrew a big fan of “24 Hour Catwalk”? Haha.

    Poor Eden.

  16. 16
    Pageant-grandma
    Posted May 26, 2012 at 10:49 pm

    Dear Mickie– please put Eden back in real school. Preferably not in asscrack-of-nowhere Arkansas. Put her in dance classes at your local studio. Get her involved in the local children’s theatre. Get her voice lessons. If she eventually has any real talent, someone will let you know. In the meantime, please let her be a kid, before she has no other marketable skills above what she learned in pageants (which she clearly loved, but it’s like being a t-ball star, and expecting to play for the tigers!).

  17. 17
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted May 27, 2012 at 4:09 am

    Good luck, Gran! If you have been reading the comments since PennyDelightful began recapping this travesty you’d know that we have all given the same advice over and over ad finitum.

    You are the pageant savvy one and know how to work the message boards. Get the word out there to the pageant moms and grans and maybe someone might be able to reach her.

    If anyone could get through that ego to whatever brain lies encrusted therein.

    Our advice here doesn’t seem to work. And repeating it here doesn’t help. Although we shall try.

  18. 18
    ash1
    Posted May 27, 2012 at 8:34 am

    @Dear Crabby – My theory is that Shparkle and Heather have a little somethin’ going on…Heather is married, who knows if Micki still is….but that didn’t stop Ted Haggard…or John Travolta. Staying in the closet while LOGO signs your paycheck…not cool.

  19. 19
    BedHeadJen
    Posted May 27, 2012 at 9:04 am

    @kthxbai-PAT, Ha Ha. I thought of SNL too.
    Heathen’s pants reminded me of the SNL commercial “OOPS, I Crapped My Pants”.

  20. 20
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted May 27, 2012 at 9:19 am

    Ash1, to paraphrase Tina Turner, what’s cool got to do with it?

    Unfamiliar territory to those two.

    I’m putting that pants pic on the ‘fridge!

  21. 21
    Gilty Plezzur
    Posted May 27, 2012 at 11:02 am

    I did a miniscule bit of research on Indashio, just enough to find out that he’s been featured on various VH1 and MTV shows. LOGO is under the same parentage as MTV and VH1, so it stands to reason that he’s an easy in on any show connected with those channels. He was even crowned “Glam God” on some MTV “reality” show. I’m sure he’ll show up again somewhere. His clothes are definitely in the hoochie-mama/club-bimbo category, so I don’t know he figures a six-year-old can be a client or shill for his designs. But then, he and Schparkle Mother Mickie will do anything for publicity, fame whores that they are. I’m really surprised Mickie turned him down. It’s just too bad a small child has to be a pawn in egotistical adults’ pathetic, attention-seeking goals.

    Has anyone else seen Anna Nicole Smith’s daughter? She was photographed with her father recently at some event. It’s eerie how much she looks like a more streamline version of Eden. She probably has a more normal life than Eden, since she’s been kept under the radar for the most part.

  22. 22
    ash1
    Posted May 27, 2012 at 12:46 pm

    @Gilty – Dannielynn does look a lot like Eden. Foutunately, her dad seems to have some sense, so the similarity will probably end there. She was photographed at the Kentucky Derby. She lives in Kentucky, so it was probably just a fun family outing, he does really try to keep her out of the spotlight. Unlike Eden, her beauty looks like it will endure. Eden will hit her prime around 12 and then become what my mother would call a “cheerleader gone to seed.” aka…Micki and Heather. Actually, Heather does have her old HS cheerleader pics on facebook and… yikes!

  23. 23
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted May 27, 2012 at 1:07 pm

    Oh ash1 I love your mom!! Cheerleader gone to seed is now part of my vocabulary.

    With your permission, of course.

    *giggle snort* love it!

  24. 24
    Jazzy
    Posted May 27, 2012 at 2:27 pm

    I have always said that Eden looks like ANS. She never gave up a child for adoption, did she?

  25. 25
    AmyOops
    Posted May 27, 2012 at 2:59 pm

    Yay! Thank you, Ms. Dreadful, for posting photos of Heather in those hideous khakis that were mentioned last week (or some week). Although I now need some Extra Strength Eye Bleach.

    Whoever mentioned Heather’s, erm, “style” standing out in NYC is SO right (from a previous ep…I’ve yet to read these comments yet, but I am looking forward to them). How is it possible that Shparkle, with all her dreams of fame and fortune (and therefore endless amounts of booze) does not see that Heather’s image might actually be important to her spawn’s success?

    Poor Eden. She needs a REAL role model sooner rather than later. I never thought this would happen with EDEN but maybe we need to find her an adoptive home? She’s actually not a bad kid.

  26. 26
    AmyOops
    Posted May 27, 2012 at 3:20 pm

    @BedHeadJen and kthxbai: Thank you both for the most excellent memories of when SNL was consistently funny. It’s kinda hit or miss now (but I still watch). Some of the digital shorts are soooo funny.

    Oh! I did see one photo of Dannielynn…that child is absolutely STUNNING, at least in the picture I saw.

    Oh, and Ms. Dreadful, its perfectly okay by me, at least, if you want to curse up a storm, LOL. No *s needed for expletives :-) Well, I’m just glad you’re here, and I can’t wait to know what’s next for you and the Gasm!

  27. 27
    ash1
    Posted May 27, 2012 at 4:42 pm

    @showshoe…mom will be so pleased…in spite of that, I think I’ll tell her anyway ;)

  28. 28
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted May 27, 2012 at 5:12 pm

    Oh Em Gee Ash, you’ve got one of those too? No, don’t tell her. Let’s get them together.

  29. 29
    Veruca
    Posted May 27, 2012 at 6:29 pm

    Danielynn’s dad only allows her to be photographed at the Derby each year. Its an outing they’ve made every year. He’s worked very hard to keep her out of the limelight and give her as normal a childhood as possible. I applaud him voraciously for that!

    This show is about as one dimensional as Eden’s acting. Glad the recaps are here so I don’t have to watch the swill.

  30. 30
    kthxbai kthxbai
    Posted May 27, 2012 at 7:31 pm

    @gun kata She did lots better on the Wendy Williams show. But yeah all it takes is watching that other 1 to see she’s got a total of 0 people that know what they’re doing.

    If Mickie knew how many $ she probably lost Eden just from that 1 train wreck appearance she’d have an apoplectic fit. People that might’ve been thinking about using her since she was getting exposure going, umm, nah. We don’t have enough budget for a crap shoot.

    @snowshoecat LOL I bet between this and Toddlers and Tiaras they could find a whole How To Not Shoot Your Kid You Think Is Talented In The Foot book!

  31. 31
    Closet fan
    Posted May 27, 2012 at 11:39 pm

    Free Eden! The only pics that I can remember seeing of Danielynn are from the Derby and I am glad. Everyone was said he would whore her out and he said he wouldn’t and so far he has not. Good for him. It is horrible for a little girl to lose her mother. Danielynn is most likely living a much more normal, out of the spotlight life. Eden looks a lot more like ANS than she does Mickie.

  32. 32
    Red_Rabbit
    Posted May 28, 2012 at 2:13 am

    I loved that Sammy wore the crown upside down and sideways in her confessional; I think that may be her way of giving this farce of a show an FU. If so, she almost joins Audrey in achieving hero status.

    I keep wondering when Mickie will realize that she can’t buy her untalented daughter fame; all the money she’s spent ($150,000+ and a double mortgage on the house) were for “skills” that not only would not help Eden get a real job in Hollywood, but are actually detrimental. Casting and talent agents want fresh, quirky, talented kids, not a trained monkey that is tone deaf, can’t read and can’t speak clearly. Of course the answer to that is “never.”

    I wonder if Eden quitting pageants is because her father finally put his foot down and said no more and the only way Mickie can keep dragging her daughter around is if LOGO pays for it.

  33. 33
    Pageant-grandma
    Posted May 28, 2012 at 2:39 pm

    I have not actually seen this show (we don’t get Logo), but just reading the recaps makes me want to cry for this poor kid. Sure, she was “famous” on t&t– so are lots of other talentless kids with crazy parents. Pageants can be a great activity, but to fool yourself or your child into believing they’ll be a “stepping stone” to any other sort of positive notoriety… It’s just not going to happen. Expecting a pageant kid to automatically be able to be a talented actor is like expecting the t-ball star to play in the NHL. (and yes, I realize that I mixed my metaphors there, but that’s the point). They’re two totally unrelated skill sets. Pageant kids are taught to do things in a very “practiced” way. Casting directors for child actors want a natural kid who can memorize lines, and not sound “rehearsed”. This poor kid… She can’t read, at nearly 7. Sure, kids learn at different paces, but properly homeschooled kids (who don’t have to fight for the teacher’s attention with 30 other kids, and for whom the curriculum can be individually tailored) usually have an advantage in that department. Ugh.

  34. 34
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted May 28, 2012 at 3:35 pm

    Gram. yup, that’s what we’ve been saying.

    She wasn’t much of a pageant kid either, since, as we have noted, her major talent has been prancing around the stage and knocking over her cardboard Elvis (to a toddler, “who?”).

  35. 35
    Pageant-grandma
    Posted May 28, 2012 at 6:25 pm

    Ah, yes… Gotta love the routines/themes/props where the kids are all “who?!”.

  36. 36
    gun kata
    Posted May 28, 2012 at 10:56 pm

    Some responsible family member, if there is one, needs to take Eden and place her in school. Decide which skill they think she should study first: singing, dancing, or acting. Get her lessons. After she learns to read and is otherwise caught up with her age group, she can enroll in the other two. Let her do these things to see what happens with her… maybe after she gets some training she will prove to have some talent.

    Schparkle cannot train Eden any more. She is still talking to Eden like she’s two years old. When Eden was getting her photo made and Schparkle and HillHeather shouted, “Be model girl” (to the photographer’s horror) it became clear what they’ve done. They have trained her to halfway tune out her instructions before they give her some insipid command dumbed down, but calculated to create a Palovian response in Eden. When the ridiculous E Team is barred from her audition, she becomes a bit nervous when people talk to her in a normal manner. She may think everyone will burst out with “sparkle” or “be model girl” or whatever else, so she’s waiting for her cue.

    Young children can’t sit through multiple interviews where a disembodied voice asks the same questions ten other disembodied voices have already asked her. It would have been better if Eden’s goofy mother had answered the questions only relying on Eden to say a few words, if anything. She has to interact with real people. It seems a lot of people who meet her in person find her to be pleasant.

    Mickie also needs to call things by their proper name. It may be too late to change Eden’s vocabulary because Mickie corrupted it at such an early age with things like, “spittin’ out your words.” But, I guess that is the sum total of Mickie’s own understanding which is yet another reason she isn’t the best coach for Eden. If she doesn’t want anyone else to teach her, then Mickie will need to let Eden peacefully retire to first grade.

    Some of the other little pageant girls are putting out their own records. I saw Paisley also has one called “Country Queen.” I don’t know if these are the same songs or just the same title. People commenting on Paisley’s said she is a better singer than Eden. I have no idea and don’t care.

    Additionally, a studio is not just a studio. I have known more than one person who had home recording studios. And I have been in a real one, but it was an older one. They have very good recording facilities in Nashville and Atlanta if Mickie somehow cannot drag herself back to New York. Granted, those places might charge money. But, they might be able to sweeten Eden’s song.

    Schparkle, HillHeatty, and Cutabitch just need to travel around in their van while Andrew and his dog return to New York. And Eden goes to school! I don’t care what the delusional trio does. But, anything will be better than what they are doing now.

  37. 37
    gun kata
    Posted May 28, 2012 at 11:22 pm

    Oh, and every single one of these idiotic adults should be carrying around multiple copies of Eden’s resume and headshots. They should even give Eden a cute little portfolio and when she goes in by herself and someone asks her for these items, she can open her portfolio and take them out. It would be adorable and show Eden has some slight clue what she is doing.

    If she shows up with four grown people (plus however many more adults are filming her), plus a DOG and no one has a single thing she needs… How can anyone cast her? For all they know, these halfwits (apologies to halfwits who aren’t part of this fiasco) will ever find their way to the theater again? They need a kid they feel they can trust the parents (or whomever) to always have the kid wherever they need to be when they need to be there.

    I have been thinking for a while that Schparkle thinks someone will create an entire show around Eden. But, why would they do that? Mackenzie and Vivi-anne from Dance Moms are no older than Eden, but they can do a lot more than she can. Also, no one constantly talks to them like they are two years old. Maddie and Kendall from DM and Kimmie and Lucas (and maybe Mia) from DMM are only a little older… granted years count a lot in young ages, but still. I think given the tools, Eden could conduct herself like a normal seven year old at least.

    Finally, there are so many easy ways to educate little kids. There are websites, books that read themselves, and DVDs. If they’d give Eden any of these she might even be able to teach herself how to read. There are also classic books for young children in the public domain so she can read them for free online if no one will bother to get her books so she can practice and improve. If I had children, I am sure I’d be able to list 100 more things!

  38. 38
    Pageant-grandma
    Posted May 28, 2012 at 11:41 pm

    A few years ago, when my career had me traveling with the touring cast of The Lion King, there was an extremely talented little boy playing the role of young Simba. There was another kid in the same role (child labor laws), who was younger, and not nearly as good. At the end of their 6-mo contracts, not-as-good was extended. Talent-boy was cut loose, not because of of him, but because no one could stand his overbearing mother. Fast forward several years, and not-as-good still has an active career, and talent-boy is a has-been. NAG’s mom would drop him off into the hands of the “child wranglers” (“what do you do for a living?”. “I wrangle children!”) and LEAVE. Mickie could learn a thing or three from NAG’s mom.

  39. 39
    BedHeadJen
    Posted May 29, 2012 at 5:08 am

    @RedRabbit- I thought Sammy wore her crown that way because she was trying to hide Cutabitch’s work.

  40. 40
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted May 29, 2012 at 5:19 am

    Gram, I’m impressed! Didn’t realize you had cred. Why on this green earth do you advocate pageants (yes, I know your granddaughter does them) rather than acting as a creative way for kids to develop their self-confidence, poise and everything else that comes from absolutely everything but beauty pageants? (notice a wee bit of prejudice here?)

    If your community does not have theatre for children, go to the school board, PTA, local institute of higher education, whatever, and get a program going. Start one yourself. Whatever your stage background is, you’d be better than Minnie–I mean Mickie.

  41. 41
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted May 29, 2012 at 5:25 am

    BedHead, unfortunately the crown wasn’t big enough to cover all that damage.

    Gunny, you are hilarious! “Some responsible family member, if there is one…” Why do I get the vibe that their family tree resembles a telephone pole?

  42. 42
    gun kata
    Posted May 29, 2012 at 7:40 am

    Snowshoecat, haha… i think there’s some branching since Eden looks normal. I just don’t know how big her family is, I read her grandmother died.

    Also, isn’t Heather making $ off these faux pageants kind of… off. It hardly motivates her to do what is best for Eden since Eden is her drawing card.

  43. 43
    gun kata
    Posted May 29, 2012 at 7:53 am

    Ryan Talent turns out to be from Des Moines, Iowa. I figured they were from whatever Arkansas city is nearest to Eden’s home, but nope.

  44. 44
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted May 29, 2012 at 8:06 am

    Let’s see… High school biology… Guinea pigs… Heterozygous rough + heterozygous smooth =. Whatever, I figure that there has to be an anomaly somewhere down the line, and it sure ain’t ol’ Minnie. Eden must be the first branch in generations.

    BTW, gunny, I love the idea of giving her a “cute little portfolio” because she seems to be the only responsible one out of the batch.

  45. 45
    gun kata
    Posted May 29, 2012 at 8:20 am

    Snowshoecat, I can just so see her doing that. People she meets do seem to like her, but they don’t think she has one clue about what she’s trying to do. And they are, um, correct. And, I do think she wants to do well, but no one has taught her how.

    This being said, I don’t know if Eden needs to be in the entertainment business. Most kids don’t seem to be able to handle it. I guess because when they grow up, slack is no longer cut and it is a shock to them how different things are for adults. If a kid comes in unprepared, everyone says people will at least spend a few moments with the kid. But, if an adult comes in like that, oh hell no… they’ll be outside so fast their head won’t even have time to spin.

    Then going in with management from Des Moines? Er, no. New York is so freaking competitive. You need NEW YORK management. I am not sure even L.A. management will work (I know, it’s a small town… it’s in California). Andrew has no clout and is probably just an actor, but he is right that they need someone besides Heather.

  46. 46
    talk it then
    Posted May 29, 2012 at 8:23 am

    Get this forsaken show off the air.. For goodness sakes.. we have all had enough of this mess!!

  47. 47
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted May 29, 2012 at 8:43 am

    Hey Talkit, “they” whoever they are won’t yank it until it stops being the proverbial (purple) cash cow, and that won’t happen until it fails to disgust the audience. And then we will all have to go back to doing what we’ve been hired to do.

    Sad that the 7 year-old seems to be more responsible than the “adults” around her. Oh my, this travesty of a show inspires so much punctuation.

    PennyDelightful, you give us so much to talk about!

  48. 48
    gun kata
    Posted May 29, 2012 at 10:12 am

    I am reading more than just here that people aren’t watching. They’re going off recaps, promos played during other shows, etc. A lot of people seem to think just like we do: if we were laughing at just Mickie or Heather or Andrew or cutabitch, that’d be fine. But, Eden will be the one left illiterate, heartbroken, and confused as to what happened to her.

    She’s been convinced she is a star. She’s not around other kids in the business. She’s only around these girls she ‘coaches’ who have been in fewer pageants than her (by a lot). I think she knows she has to work, but I believe she thinks she IS working. I know the Logo show isn’t playtime, but how much is she learning? I believe they’ve convinced her if she’s dressed up cute* (*or what looks cute to her young eyes) and acts pert, everyone will adore her. Which, they may. But, not in a “you’re hired” way. From what I gleaned from PD’s previous recap, Eden outed herself as a non-reader, so she knows she is deficient there and feels the best she can do is admit it.

    I also am starting to get the feeling Eden thinks “Broadway” is just a super delux pageant, so her skills will serve her at some point. How would she know any different? Has she ever been to a show? Met e Broadway kids?

  49. 49
    Pat Ledoux
    Posted May 29, 2012 at 11:05 am

    After this episode- I’m speechless. I actually do watch it because it’s like the car wreck on I 495 I can’t tear
    myself away from-

    I believe gun kata covered it all.

    Well said, gunny!

  50. 50
    merry
    Posted May 29, 2012 at 11:45 am

    Sad show; HILARIOUS recap! The captions were especially funny: Eden and Sammy speaking street to their “peeps” indeed.

    (Although…pageant girls are a lot like Peeps, if you think about it. Brightly colored, artificially sugary, 100% unnatural, enjoyable only in tiny doses, and damned unhealthy.)

  51. 51
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted May 29, 2012 at 11:55 am

    Merry, your peeps analogy is perfect.

    And yes, Gunny, you covered it all.

    Tragic.

  52. 52
    Closet fan
    Posted May 29, 2012 at 1:54 pm

    Before the show started the promos that played consisted of Eden shown on screen while you hear Mickie in the background telling Eden to do her homework. Which by now we all know she does not have homework. I wonder if that was Heather’s idea or Logos?

  53. 53
    Brianna Quinn
    Posted May 29, 2012 at 5:23 pm

    Why is Eden always dressed like Miss Kitty from Gunsmoke? She would probably be more comfy in jeans, a hoodie and Keds.

  54. 54
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted May 30, 2012 at 5:56 am

    Closet, think that might be Minnie letting the whole world (both viewers) know what a real kid her incredibly awesome mother has?

    Note the emphasis, as always, is on Mothah!!!!

    Miss kitty!!!! Sad that it isn’t Hello Kitty at her age.

  55. 55
    gun kata
    Posted May 30, 2012 at 6:35 am

    Thanks Snowshoecat and Pat Ledoux.

    Closet Fan, I am thinking ol’ Schparkle herself threw in the “do your homework” line. I am sure she is pleased as punch with how well she’s homeschooling. Miss Ican’tread won’t get very far.

    Eden probably thinks “pretty hands”, “pretty feet”, and “bring Mama something from that little refrigerator” are homework assignments. Along with making weird faces. Is she just randomly doing that or do they delusion that she’s learning something.

  56. 56
    talk it then
    Posted May 30, 2012 at 7:38 am

    why do they keep letting Cutabitch keep putting makeup on Eden.. She does not do pageants anymore.. She looks like a madam everytime I see her.

  57. 57
    kthxbai kthxbai
    Posted May 30, 2012 at 8:57 pm

    @gun kata I’ve been getting the feeling Mickie thinks “Broadway” means a super deluxe kind of pageant.

    And she means for her baby girl to bring home some of those Ultimate Grand Tony Supreme crowns.

  58. 58
    gun kata
    Posted May 30, 2012 at 10:26 pm

    Kthxbai, OMG… you might be right.

    Some kids, I can see why their parents think they could be on Broadway. They really DO sing, dance, and act. And they are able to act more mature than their age at least while they are at work. I really do not see what in the world Eden can do on Broadway. I am not an expert, but well… compared to Spharkle.

  59. 59
    BedHeadJen
    Posted May 31, 2012 at 7:12 am

    Playboy is always there for the ones who don’t make it into the Playbill.

  60. 60
    Pageant-grandma
    Posted May 31, 2012 at 5:55 pm

    For those who have actually seen the show: (I haven’t– don’t have logo): what does Eden wear at these auditions they send her to? Because if the pics are any indication, the “e-team” are screwing this child 8 ways from Sunday before she can even read her lines. Kid actors are expected to wear very plain outfits (khakis and a polo are usually recommended), with pics that look like they do, and the ability to either read and memorize (or just memorize, if they are too young to read) lines. And speak in a way that doesn’t need to be subtitled. I weep for eden. She has no hand in this. What a waste.

  61. 61
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted May 31, 2012 at 6:39 pm

    PGram, The E-Team, or producers (most likely) are milking their little (purple) cash cow for all she’s worth. They showed up for an audition a few epis back with neither resume (that could have been written on a matchbook cover) nor headshots. Notice how she is dressed (as one Gasmi wrote) like Miss Kitty for a recording session in somebody’s basement.

    Professionalism has nothing to do with this travesty, so don’t even think about the possibility.

  62. 62
    Pageant-grandma
    Posted May 31, 2012 at 7:58 pm

    It would almost be amusing, except that there is an actual human child involved, who didn’t ask to be born into this trainwreck. Ugh.

  63. 63
    kthxbai kthxbai
    Posted June 1, 2012 at 11:42 pm

    @Pageant-grandma You’d think they’d pick that up just from watching ANTM. How many times has Tyra said to put jeans and a plain white tank top on? Even for a modeling job.

    To make them see a blank canvas. So the director’s mind’s eye can start painting on it. People that show up in a Cleopatra suit probably won’t get picked to be Kristin Lavransdatter.

  64. 64
    gun kata
    Posted June 2, 2012 at 4:01 pm

    Someone must have told them to tone it down. Because she was wearing a more subdued outfit for the TV show audition. It was all pink… a long sleeved shirt with a sparkly heart on it and a tulle skirt. The little girl who read with her was dressed much more simply. Eden had her hair styled more simply than usual, but not as simply as the other girl.

    When she walked in, several children were there. They all have their resumes and headshots and so did Eden (miracle). But, then Eden went up to the ladies and confessed she couldn’t read… in front of the other kids. She is trying her best… it’s sad. They did like her, so I don’t know if that was for TV (knowing she’d see it) or for real. I guess if she turns up on a TV show other than this one, we will know.

  65. 65
    gun kata
    Posted June 2, 2012 at 4:04 pm

    Oh, but she brought a pageant photo and it looks like it’s from a couple of years ago. It’s a cute photo (not full glitz), but the balcony photos would probably be better.

  66. 66
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted June 2, 2012 at 4:34 pm

    Do you think that any of the farcical E-Team has any concept of professionalism? Any?

    PGram, yes, it is nothing short of tragic. It is like a really bad sit-com on steroids, except that ther is a small, trusting human being there who is being laid at the altar of her mother’s ego. And Logo’s greed. Or whoever is behind the whole mess.

    And wait!! There’s more! Another little kid is being brought into the arena.

    And the viewing public are right there for it all. Bring on the lions. Bring on the gladiators. Bring on the little girls.

  67. 67
    gun kata
    Posted June 2, 2012 at 5:38 pm

    I wonder if this show will be renewed? The cast obviously isn’t getting rich, so it can’t cost much.

    I think Andrew might be something besides only an actor. He’s the person to talk to if you want Victor or Angel to teach a master class. So, another reason he fights with HillHeather.

    HillhHeather declared she’d “been on this train for three years.” I know she wants the cast to collect fees so more little kids can be in the “cutie patootie” pageants. And “RyanTalent” will evaluate kids for star potential… or something at their site, but it’s not free. Which, with all that, you’d think she would have the money to dress better.

  68. 68
    Red_Rabbit
    Posted June 3, 2012 at 1:34 am

    @BedHeadJen, I hadn’t thought of that! I think you’re on to something.

    “She’s been convinced she is a star. She’s not around other kids in the business.”

    I’ve been watching So You Think You Can Dance and America’s Got Talent and both shows had 5 and 6-year-olds who were genuinely talented. The former had two little kids who joined mom on stage and they did a mean shuffle; even the 2-year-old had rhythm and could point her toes and step in time with her 5-year-old brother. On the latter they had a troupe of Irish step dancers and the 5-year-old girl danced like a pro and kept up with the older kids. All of them, even the 2-year-old, left Eden in the dust and could shuffle and step-dance rings around Mickie’s dumb delusions.

  69. 69
    Red_Rabbit
    Posted June 3, 2012 at 1:54 am

    Oh and some of the little kids could sing pretty well, they weren’t shouting tunelessly Eden-style.

    “Honey Boo Boo” Alana is getting her own show. Normally I’d be appalled but the idea of Mickie banging her head off the wall because some other kid got the coveted TLC spinoff makes me hope that Alana’s show is a smashing success.

    I’m evil.

  70. 70
    gun kata
    Posted June 3, 2012 at 10:03 pm

    Little kids sometimes think they can do things until they actually try them. Like the episode with the little girl who was the dancer (the one whose mom thought she was on a show about adoption probably right up until cutabitch gave her a bad knockoff of an early 1960s hairstyle). Mickie said she wished she could dance like that and Eden said she could. She probably believed it, too. She’d probably tell a casting director, too. For one thing, in theory she even has her own dance the “cutsie roll.” (Sigh)

    Eden’s just been allowed to do whatever she can manage and call it dancing. If she ever has to learn choreography in a room full of children whose parents sent them to dance class since they were two, it will be bad.

    Furthermore, there is no telling what kinds of outlandish things the insipid E team has put on Eden’s resume. And she may well believe her skills in those areas are exceptional because she’s been told she’s a superstar and the next Shirley Temple, Judy Garland, and whomever would be an example in Eden’s memory… Selena Gomez?

  71. 71
    Red_Rabbit
    Posted June 5, 2012 at 7:28 pm

    @gun kata, exactly. The E-team incompetence, it burns.

    Here’s some dirt from a mother whose little girl used to do pageants. They went to one held by Heather in KY. She says her daughter won a Grand Supreme there and Heather tried to sign her up for her agency. However the whole thing was really sketchy: she talked about her production company which, as far as the mom could tell was just Heather’s husband and another relative who filmed the pageant. The pageant itself was very small and disorganized. The mom asked around and no one was impressed with Heather. She still gets emails from her and it’s all about reality shows, Toddlers & Tiaras, etc. No real work. No real modeling. (And there was a huge difference between Heather and the other modeling agencies the mom spoke to.) She knew right away that Heather was shady and wouldn’t do anything for her daughter, plus it was based in Paducah, KY which is not exactly the capitol of modeling in the US.

  72. 72
    Pageant-grandma
    Posted June 5, 2012 at 9:41 pm

    It’s no secret in the real world that if you are not in Chicago, la, or ny, you are a “real” modeling agency. That’s where the real work happens, and that’s where the real agencies are. Heather is in DeMoines Iowa– yeah. An acquaintance of mine was approached by heather– she charges for her services. No REAL agent charges. They make money by getting you work. they get a cut of your pay. T

  73. 73
    gun kata
    Posted June 6, 2012 at 12:24 am

    I have seen this episode now.

    First, Sammy is a charming little girl and kind of wasted on pageants. Maybe she will find another fun activity.

    I understand why they recorded in Mississippi now… to get Sammy to participate. Eden was only doing a demo. She sounds like a cat screeching, so if the dude in Mississippi did this for free, that was probably a good thing.

    FIRE HEATHER AND CUTABITCH! No one wants to talk to a fly by night type of “manager” as Heather appears to be. And no one gets their agent in Des Moines unless they ONLY want to work in Iowa. She is a poorly dressed, argumentative, territorial, unskilled leech. She is making money off using Eden’s name to recruit other girls whose parents don’t know any better.

    I imagine Andrew is looking out for number one as well, but he is based in New York and has lined up some opportunities.

    Why did Andrew snit at Ma Grimley? So weird.

  74. 74
    gun kata
    Posted June 8, 2012 at 4:41 pm

    The doggie and me fashion show wasn’t the end all and be all events, but it was something. Eden has plenty of outfits and Andrew has a dog for her to carry. Someone might pick up the pictures. They are cute especially if you aren’t being subjected to “Underpuppy” blaring in the background.

    I don’t even understand why Heather was ranting about going to the pound and taking photos. You know she is not about to adopt a dog no matter if the most awesome dog ever born happens to be there and Eden couldn’t very well do the fashion show carrying a photograph.

    When Eden was on The View she had a puppy with her. I got the impression it was one of her dogs from home, but there is really no telling. I wonder what ever happened to it?

    Sharon Osbourne asked Eden what her hobbies were. Eden said she liked playing with the puppy she had with her as well as the other dogs at home. I thought Sharon was nice to Eden. Eden was paying more attention to the puppy than anyone else at that point because she was taking its bonnet off so she could pose with it.

  75. 75
    alice carroll
    Posted June 23, 2012 at 2:43 am

    word has it heather jumpped ship and found another pregent kid!!!! she took over the old facebook and website page..poor eden!!!

  76. 76
    TurtleGirl93 TurtleGirl93
    Posted July 2, 2012 at 9:07 pm

    Just wanted to add to the purple cow confusion:
    The Purple Cow is a yumm-yumm-yummy local chain in Central Arkansas. Total old-school diner feel. Their signature item is the Purple Cow float (grape soda and purple vanilla ice cream). They also make a Purple Cow milkshake but that’s just a plain vanilla milkshake that happens to be purple.
    I never feel like standing still after having a Purple Cow, but whatevs.

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