Recap: Hollywood Exes…Blind Dates, Belly Dancing, and Bitterness

Ohhh gurl! You think I’m Straight?

It’s Mayte’s Mama’s Bday. B as in belly dancing. Mayte wants to choreograph a belly dance with the girls as a gift to her Mama. Mayte has been belly dancing since she was 3 and loved the attention. We’re no Dr. Michelle, but this kinda explains why she got married at 16, just sayin. She feels powerful belly dancing and wants the girls to feel equally as powerful. For their first time they all did alright. Sheree had no rhythm, Nicole is all arms, Drea is all booty, and Jessica is hiding in the corner. That’s good for them.

Drea is now on her blind date with Percy. Percy admits he knows nothing about her. She dreads telling him who her ex is because “the R.Kelly pill is a huge pill to swallow.” We get the feeling he’s used to swallowing huge things. We also think the majority of California men are gay. May the odds be ever in your favor, Drea…. Percy takes the news pretty well. He says he doesn’t care who she used to belong to. He just needs cooking, conversation, and an occasional back rub. The odds aren’t looking good girl.

I hope my boyfriend isn’t watching this.

Mayte and Drea go for mani-pedis pre-bday party… can somebody tell us why Drea has foil on her fingers? They decide to invite Percy to the belly dancing party so all the girls can grill him. 

It’s Party Time and all the girls are in their I Dream of Jeanie best. Sheree basically says Jessica looks like a whore, but in a non-bitchy biblical way. None of them have practiced so they hit the alcohol fast and hard. Mayte and her Mom arrive:

More leftover Prince costumes?

Percy arrives and the girls almost immediately give him the 3rd degree. Nicole wants to know how they met? Sheree wants to know if he has any kids and is dismayed that he has 2 baby mamas. Jessica wants to know why he’s not white? He’s a swirl once removed (black and italian) does that make him a Blatalian? or Italack? Mayte shows off her belly dancing moves then it’s showtime! The girls bring in da belly bring in da funk. 

I’m sexy and I know it

We like big butts

It’s not a Millenium Master Class but Meh. it’ll do

Nicole, Jessica, and Mayte meet up the morning after and discuss the night’s events. They all are very happy for Drea and her new catch. Of course they are! They know NO other way to be other than NICE! 

Well, that’s it. Another week passed with no hair pulling or verbal arguments. There’s always next week…yeah, yeah, yeah. What do ya’ll think? Anyone, Anyone? Bueller, Bueller.