Recap: The Real World: San Diego – Eps 10/11

Hi, Gasmii!  Thanks to everyone who commented on the minicap. Looks like our time together will be short – 12/14 is the final ep of the San Diego season.  But, I will be recapping Challenge too.  Yay!

Let’s get right to it!

We open with Alexandra singing “Let’s start over again”.  If only we could – or at least some of us, and we’re talking about you, Frank.  And here’s Frank, cuddling with Todd.  Frank shares that he’s putting his relationship with Michael “on hold” because he wants to “casually date”.  Um-hum.  Meanwhile, Ashley and Priscilla are discussing the situation.  Ashley then goes to take a shower, and Frank and Todd decide to take one too.  Ashley doesn’t care for that.  She thinks it’s “not respectful”.  Frank isn’t happy that Ashley is freezing Todd out.

For a (literal) breath of fresh air, we go to Nate and Sam enjoying a drink at The Boardwalk.  Sam mentions her drag mom, and explains to Nate what that is.  Sam talks about performing as a drag king, Shawn Jade.  What a super cool name!  Love. It. Sam’s going to see if she can perform in San Diego.  Nate shares that he hopes Sam becomes “the coolest drag king ever” and “shoots for the stars”.

I just met you, and already I love you.

Over at the gym, Frank sees Ashley, who continues to give him the cold shoulder.  Frank shares it’s disgusting how she’s treating Todd.  So they sit on the equipment and talk.

Get the hell off the machines!  People want to use them!  And wipe them down with a towel too.  Especially you, Ashley. 

Ashley seizes the moment to talk about how great Michael is.  Was.  Whatever.  Later, Ashley tells Zach that if there’s a different person in Frank’s life every week, why would she take the time to get to know them?  That’s exactly the feeling I have about you, Ashley.

Back at the house, Frank is venting to Nate.  He’s got a point.  Though she liked Michael – and it seems everyone did – still no reason to mistreat Todd, or even Frank for that matter.  What is it with chicks named Ashley and their need to boss gay guys around?  Don’t believe me?  Check out Ashley on A-List: Dallas.  Same effing thing!  Unless they’re sleeping with you, butt the hell out!  Frank says that now that Michael’s out of the picture and he (Frank) is a “slutty gay man” again, she doesn’t want to be his friend.

In the shower again, Frank confronts Ashley – well, I should stop here.  He’s in the shower, she’s just in bathroom doing something unattractive with her bicolor hair – Frank calls her out on not waiting for him at the gym, not saying goodbye, just being rude.  She responds by denying it.

Frank shares that he would like to know if Ashley even likes him.  He would actually like to be friendly with her, and “have a hand in making her a less bigoted, more open-minded individual”.

You’d have better luck with her.

Commercial. We return to Priscilla and Sam discussing an upcoming camping trip.  Sam says she’s been hunting since she was 9.   Priscilla wants a place with showers and a sauna.

This will do nicely, I believe.

Sam shares she’s very, very nervous.  Not for herself.

Sam asks Beth and Rudi to the house.  They’re part of the San Diego Kings.  They all discuss Sam’s upcoming performance.  Sam’s super-psyched!

Now we go to Alexandra, who’s at the House of Blues, meeting with Candace and John, who book talent.  She’s going to have a 20 minute set.  Exciting!

Camping day!  Sam says some people have overpacked. I know people who overpack for work.  What possible reason do women have for lugging a large purse and two or 3 additional big totebags?  Every day!  What the hell is in there?

I’m the kind of person who went to France for a month with one (medium) sized bag.  ONE.

Priscilla shares that she’s not going to shower in a creek.  Zach, nude, shares he’s looking forward to going au naturel in the wilderness.  Everyone piles in the car, and they go to Subway.

Nothing says “great outdoors” like a sub.

Priscilla shares that of course they’re bringing Subway, none of them cooks.  So they’ve never heard of hot dogs?  Or trail mix?  Or s’mores????

For some reason, Frank and Nate crank up the heat.  Okay . . .   Then they go to “freeze out”.

Commercial.    We return to Palomar Mountain National Park.  Everyone sets up tents.  Frank shares he’d like to talk to Zach and Ashley.  Some people, the more sensible ones, put on bug repellant.  Everyone sets off on a walk on what appears to be a nice, gently sloping, broad walkway.  Priscilla calls it a “hike” and is inordinately pleased with herself.  Ashley and Zach outpace everyone else and don’t give a damn.  They want to get to the summit before the sun sets.  There’s a deck on the summit.  So, not exactly Mt Everest.  Everyone else shows up.  For about 10 seconds, everyone shuts up.  Ah, peace.

Now it’s nighttime.  Sam (I assume) has started a fire, and Frank is drinking soup out of a can.  And they did remember marshmallows!

Nothing like eating charred bovine bone marrow off of dirty sticks.  The Cro-Magnons loved it!

Ashley and Zach take off.  Frank and Nate discuss them.  Nate says he tried to be friends with Ashley but when he saw that wasn’t happening, he just wrote it off.  He asks if it makes them bad people to want to know who she is.  Not bad, Nate.  But it’s fruitless, so just let it go.

Commercial.  And thanks, MTV, for putting commercials in the show online, too.

We return to the next morning.  Birds!  The Rite of Spring!  Frank peeing!  Oh, they just went for one night???

That ain’t campin’.  That thar is just a stroll and a snooze.  Gol-durned city slickers.

We’re back at the house.  Frank is talking to Alexandra and Sam about Ashley and Zach.  Alexandra points out that the duo are deliberately not involving themselves in anyone’s business.  She goes on to say that things will happen they way they will, and all Frank can do is “do you”.

Wish I were that profound!

Frank wants that emotional connection.

I want an emotional connection with this guy.  Doesn’t mean I’ll get it.

Now it’s the day of Sam’s performance.  Skylar, her bestie, is in town and will be at the show.  People are drinking a lot.  Sam realizes she needs to stop so she can be sober enough to perform.  She shares that as usual, Nate has been drinking way too much, and she thinks things will go badly.

Now Sam’s preparing to get into character as Shawn Jade.  She uses plastic wrap to bind her breasts, as Frank puts it, like two chicken breasts.

Don’t forget to wrap the sandwiches after you get into drag, honey!

Meanwhile, Nate is sleeping passed out on his bed.  Frank can’t get Nate out of bed, so Shawn comes in and is able to get Nate up.

On the way over, Ashley says she has a friend who makes phone calls in her sleep.  I used to do that, if by “sleep” you mean “blinding drunk”.   Nate is spouting nonsequiturs.  Zach is convinced they are aimed at he and Ashley.  Nate shares that “Drunk Nate” doesn’t care about anything, and is going to let her know, every time she speaks, that no one believes her and she should shut up.  Sounds like a plan!  Meanwhile, Frank tries to get Nate to stop.

Finally, they arrive at The Flame.  Frank, Sam and Nate get out, while Ashley, Zach and Alexandra go park.  Zach says he has “no idea” why Nate was behaving the way he was.  They press Alexandra, who says the rest of the cast aren’t happy with Ashley and Zach “always being gone”.  Predictably, this annoys Zach and Ashley.

You’re ugly inside AND out.  Well done!

Ashley then blames Frank for the tension.  WhatEVER.

At the table, Zach looks like a sulky child, and Frank asks what the matter is.  Zach responds that he doesn’t owe anyone an explanation.  Oh, super mature there.

I would love to smack that look right off your face, jackass.

So they all sit there just not saying a word because of all the tension.  And then someone – Ashley? – starts talking again.  Dammit.

And finally, it’s time for Shawn Jade!!  Who is just great!

Knocked it out of the park.  Yay, Shawn Jade!

So for the length of Shawn’s performance, everyone was united in their support and love for her.  And then afterwards, they go back to being uncomfortable and pissed off.

Commercial.  It’s the next morning.  Ashley and Zach are off to the gym.  Frank also heads to the gym and runs into Zach and Ashley, returning.  Zach wants to know what was going on yesterday.  Frank says he didn’t know what was up with Nate, but does say that he and Nate want more out of the “wonder twins” than they’re getting.  Ashley says she can’t get closer to people if she knows they’re talking about her.  Frank tries to explain they’re talking about Ashley and Zach out of friendship, because they care.  Ashley says she doesn’t talk to anyone in the house.  So why the hell did you agree to be on this show? Frank says he gets nothing from her – just a wall.  Ashley says it’s a trust issue.  Frank responds that he’s repeatedly tried.

As they walk away, Zach’s take is that everything Frank was saying was “I want attention from you, you’re the pr0m queen”.

Prom queens don’t have a big a-s.  And saddlebags.

Back at the house, Zach is unloading on Nate.  Now Alexandra, Nate and Frank are leaving.  Nate shares that he wishes Zach or Frank would hate him, because then he wouldn’t be in the middle.  In the car, Frank talks about the convo.  Frank wants Nate to back him up.  You need Drunk Nate for that, honey.  Alexandra tries to stay out of the discussion.  Nate says he feels Frank is blowing this out of proportion, and Frank retorts that it’s a big deal to him.  And by “retorts” I mean “shouts”.

Commercial.  And now we’re at the final scenes of this ep.  Alexandra is performing at the House of Blues.  She sings a song about her time at the Real World house which really makes people mist up.  Sam shares that she wants Zach and Ashley to tolerate Frank for their remaining time.  Frank shares he wants people to come together and grow with each other.  Zach shares that he’s an effing jackass.  Or at least that’s what I heard.

And that’s it for ep 10.  Let’s get into Ep 11.  And again I want to give a shout out to MTV, which has not bothered to put ep 11 up on their website yet.  So no screencaps from this one, unfortunately.

We open with folks in the hot tub.  Not Ashley and Zach, of course.  They’re off on their own again.  And they’re still talking about not being a family with the other cast, blah blah blah.  This is so unbelievably repetitive and boring.  Zach and Ashley seem to enjoy it though.  They are a match made in heaven.

Just like this one.

When the wonder twins return home, they find an envelope marked “Special Delivery” and call everyone together.  MTV, you do know that just pasting the words “Special Delivery” on an envelope does not actually make it a special delivery?  And it looks serial-killer creepy too.

They’re going to Cabo! Nate shares that the drama already has its bags packed, and is on its way to Mexico.  HA!

Frank is at the Del Mar Clinic talking with Dr, Levak, his therapist.  Levak asks what Frank wants out of Cabo.  Instead of saying “booze and sex”, Frank says he wants everyone to hang out together, blah blah.  Levak points out that craving a response from someone gives them control over you.  He wants Frank to be “loving and playful and yourself” with no expectation of a response and no agenda.  Frank pretty much ignores that.  Levak says with some people there is no key to opening them up.

However, with others this works very well.

Everyone is packing.  Nate is putting dirty clothes in his suitcase.  Nice.

And here we are in Cabo, at the Villa de Arco.  It’s beautiful.  Here’s their view

The Cabo Arches.

Also in Cabo:

The Golden Arches.

Everyone unpacks and then heads downstairs for a drink.  Or 10.  Priscilla can drink, because the drinking age in Mexico is 18.  No, that won’t cause any problems . . .

Commercial.  People are swimming.  Well, sort of.  Being overcome by waves and screaming, more like.  Nate shares his sinus cavity is filled with “fish piss”.  So much for that fish dinner I had planned for tonight.

Ashley and Zach are, predictably, off by themselves.  Everyone else is running around their suite naked.

At night, they go out to Cabo Wabo.  I assume the bar wouldn’t allow them to film, because we see none of it.  At one point, everyone except the wonder twins jumps in a pool? fountain? and makes a crab circle, which looks completely goofy and fun.  Of course, Zach and Ashley will have none of it.  That means they’re sitting outside their room waiting for the others to get back.  That’s super fun.  What a great way to see a foreign country!  Hotel corridors say so much about local culture.

Chock full o’ambiance.

The next day, they go to swim with the dolphins.  Nate is scared that “if Flipper gets p-ssed off, they’re going to drown me”.

Could these cuties hurt anyone? Nah.

I hope that Ashley and Zach will “accidentally” drown.  Sadly, that doesn’t happen.  However, Nate goes on a “dolphin taxi” and says “try to frown – you can’t” and that his fear has gone away.

Now they all get on a booze cruise.  “The boat doesn’t come back until the booze is gone”, says the captain.  Do booze cruises have a “captain”?  I mean the guy who had the key to the boat.  There’s scuba diving.  And then Zach and Ashley go off by themselves.  That’s a super smart idea, go off by yourselves in the middle of the freaking ocean.  Jackasses.

Now the drinking starts in earnest.  Priscilla is pretty tanked.  She is “Dizzy Scrizzy” when she drinks, apparently.  Back at the hotel, she comes on to Nate who leaves the room, sharing that everybody makes drunk mistakes, but he doesn’t want to be part of that one.  Nate = a real gentleman.

That night, they go to the Nowhere Bar.

Apparently it’s also dyslexic.

It’s ladies night, and Priscilla is again very tanked.  She shows everyone her veejayjay.  Zach ends up carrying Priscilla because she’s too drunk to walk.  Nate is weaving all over the place.  Sam is kissing Priscilla.

The next day, they go parasailing, the ideal activity for the hung-over/still drunk, as Priscilla shares when she says she just wanted to vomit in the air.  Now it’s Nate’s turn, and he’s scared that the rope would break and he and his friends would drown.  Um, first human bodies float.  Second, you’re wearing a life jacket.  Third, you’re within reach of the boat.  So drowning is probably not the outcome, even if the rope breaks.

Parasailing seldom turns out like this.  But if it does, be the first to get up on the door.

Nate survives the trip, and Priscilla finally throws up and vows never to drink again.  I used to do that all the time.  That lasts until, oh, about 5 pm the same day.

Commercial.  And we’re back to horseback riding.  Nate is scared.  Really?  Is there anything that doesn’t scare Nate?  But he decides he likes it.

That evening, they go to Bar Esquina.  It’s their last night in Cabo.

The topic of gays in the military comes up, and Zach says he doesn’t support gays in the military.  Frank says he finds that disgusting, and after Zach says he doesn’t have to explain himself, Frank says that because Zach lives with him and doesn’t feel he has to explain himself, and that hurts Frank’s feelings.  He finds Zach’s attitude deplorable.  He also says it’s not 2 and 5, it’s supposed to be 7 (housemates).  Zach tells Frank to shut up.  Frank cautions him not to say that.

Commercial.  We return to the argument.  Others try to reign Frank in, but he’s not hearing it.  Frank finally says the wonder twins deserve each other, and leaves.

Back at the hotel, Frank and Alexandra and Nate discuss the argument.  Alexandra gives him the same advice his therapist did.  On the beach, Zach and Ashley discuss the argument.  I am so freaking tired of the issue, the argument, everything.  Everyone just shut up. And Frank?  Not everything someone else does is aimed at you.  I work with someone like Frank and have lost count of the number of times they’ve come to me in tears about some imagined slight, to which I’ve replied “it’s not about you”.

Finally, it’s time to leave.  Nate had a good time, at least!

Commercial.  And we’re back to San Diego, to the Eggery where Ashley and Zach are still discussing the argument.  The rest of the house is also discussing the trip.  Frank shares that makes them a family, and it’s sad that Zach and Ashley aren’t part of that.  Frank now wants to talk to them.  Oy vey gevalt.

Frank starts by apologizing for the dinner.  Then he asks if their non-participation is because of him.  Ashley says yes.  B-tch.  Frank says don’t take it out on the others, and Ashley says she’s not.  Frank says they’ve shut off and shut down.  Zach denies that.  Frank says he’s speaking for the rest of the group, they’re his family.  He asks the wonder twins to hang out and make an effort for the 4 remaining days.  Zach says Frank doesn’t know what a family is, that a family doesn’t go around being malicious to each other and then saying it’s cool.

Really?

Now Frank and Zach are arguing again.  Frank thinks because he’s gay.  Zach says it’s not, it’s because Frank has been disrespectful.  Frank says he doesn’t like Ashley and Zach but because of “them” (the other housemates) he’s still trying to extend his hand.  He says it’s not about him, they should be mature and hang out with the other housemates.  Frank keeps telling Zach to “be a man”. Frank, you need to be a man and realize this is an unwinnable argument.  These people don’t like you.  They never will.  Get. Over. It.  There are people in my office who are in a clique and make a big deal out of it, and of excluding others.  I could really care less.  Grow a pair, Frank.

Commercial.  We return to Frank and Sam having drinks.  AGAIN with discussion of the argument.  The wonder twins are in a car, same thing.  Is this the most boring episode of any series ever?  If not, it’s damned close.  We end with both Frank and Zach vowing to have no contact with each other.  Right . . .

And that’s it until next week’s finale.  I predict even more rehashing of the argument/Frank’s feelings, and at least one more encounter between Frank and Zach/Ashley.  I also predict continued awesomeness from Sam/Shawn Jade, and from Nate who may like his liquor, but is a stand-up guy.  See you next week!

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