Hello from the Big Apple, y’all!!
I was all ready to write my recap for Revenge, when – lo and behold – I discover they ain’t showin’ that shit again until January! The next episode is call “Duress” and should be way cool, but ’til then you will have to make do with my fascinating recap of my trip to NYC so far, as it has been a pop culture wet dream.
‘K. First of all. Let me confess to a letdown. I remember coming here (you are getting a live-on-the-spot rendition as I am still in The Apple) as a child during the holiday season, and it was magical. ALL of the stores had elaborate Christmas displays on their windows, and the Jolly Fat Man was everywhere.
PROBABLY ALL LOOKED LIKED THIS GUY, BUT, HELL, I WAS 8
Now there is nary a window, except at Macy’s.
Of course, that is still a step up, considering that where I am from we put a Santa hat and some lights on the plastic pig outside of the BBQ Hutt and call it a day.
Anyway, the BIGGEST news of interest to you Gasmii (and myself) is that I CAN REPORT A PERSONAL ANGELEA SIGHTING! I was sitting in the Shake Shack having a Great White Way Concrete (OMG – if you have never – well, let’s say the last time Mr. S-Natch lit me up like that was 10 years ago!), when who walks in but…
Let me tell you, Gasmii, that chick is heart-stoppingly GORG. The television does not do her justice. Her skin is an amazing color, kind of like caramel and cream, and her face has all of these gorgeous angles.
However, yours truly can put those preggo speculations to rest – she is so tiny that I swear I could have encircled her waist with my notoriously small child-sized hands. I think Bank-able edited that footage to make it look like she was pregnant or something so they could save face. I know, I know, hard to believe.
JUST ASK HER
Angelea was on the phone and left after she took in the yummy fumes of burgers and fries for dinner, so I did not get to ask her what’s up. I did Tweet her, though, and now she is follow yours truly on Twitter.
I HAVE ARRIVED, Y’ALL!
Also, I saw the adorable CHRISTIAN SIRIANO walking down 38th street between 8th an 9th, followed by two lackeys assistants carrying bolts of fabric. I did the whole jaded New Yorker thing and pretended not to know who he was, all the while dribbling little trails of excitement pee down the sidewalk.
HE CAN BE MY POCKET CHRISTMAS ELF ANY TIME!
On my first day I happened to be walking past a theater when Private Lives let out, and who should I see on the sidewalk?
THAT OVERSEXED CHICK FROM THAT TV SHOW!
She was very sweet and gracious even though I turned her down for a quickie behind the alley ( I am irresistible like that). She was shorter than I thought she was, though.
I also had my Harry Potter double-header, seeing Daniel Radcliffe in How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying (an excellently performed production of a mediocre piece of literature), and ALAN RICKMAN (tinglies, here, folks) in Seminar. A great piece of literature performed by great artists, including Jerry O-Connell and my new girl crush, Lily Rabe.
CAN YOU BLAME ME??
Anyhoo – that’s all for now. The conference is going great and I am learning A LOT. Guess I won’t be seeing you again until after the holidays when Revenge begins again in January (unless I am impregnated by aliens or Ralph Fiennes, in which case you will be the first to know, my Lovelies.)
‘Til then, I present my gift to you:
HAPPY HOLIDAYS, GASMII!!