We’re baaaaack, Gasmii!!! Tonight’s the night Revenge FINALLY has returned!
Since we last met, the polar ice caps have melted an additional 132 gigatonnes, a herd of sloths migrated 100 miles along the Brazilian rainforest, and Mr. S-Natch took out the trash unaided.
Without further ado, let’s dive into Doubt, shall we?
When we last left our crew, Charlotte was a druggie, Declan’s got Jacks back, and the judge freaking hates Daniel.
Daniel is in maximum security at Riker’s Island prison. He is staring at a photo of Emily, Declan is staring at Jack, and Victoria is staring at Conrad. Scintillating.
Emily is reading a letter from Daniel. He is proclaiming his innocence and asking Emily to stand by him.
NOLAN ARRIVES AT HER DOOR BEARING CROISSANDWICHES AND A YEN FOR WHIRLED PEAS
Nolan and Emily discuss the fact that Victoria is gunning for Fauxmanda, and as soon as she finds her Fauxmanda will spill the truth and Emily will be done-zo. Emily says that Takeda has Fauxmanda securely put away. Nolan warns her that Takeda will “release the Kraken” if Takeda thinks Emily is trying to spring Daniel.
THEN EMILY WILL BE IN A WORLD OF SHIP – yuck, yuck, yuck!
Nolan sees the letter that Daniel wrote her from prison and cracks on her about what kind of box Daniel will make her in woodshop. Emily says
her box is just fine thankyouverymuch Takeda was right in that she lost focus and got emotionally involved but that won’t happen again just as Nolan gets a 911 text from tiny-but-porcelain-skinned Jack. He grabs his buttery flaky goodness and leaves.
Charlotte is working with a sketch artist to describe the guy she saw in the hoodie who was standing over Tyler’s body. It is not good enough for Victoria and she tries to berate Charlotte into saying it was a woman standing over Tyler – preferably Fauxmanda.
Declan shows up in a natty uniform and reminds Charlotte that it is orientation day at school. Victoria turns on him and tells him that Charlotte is starting to think it was a woman they saw in the darkness (she tots did not say that) and asks him to think about it. Declan claims it was too dark and they leave. On the way out Charlotte suggests they ditch orientation and go to the beach.
Meanwhile, Victoria joins Conrad and their attorney, Mr. Brooks, in the den. Mr. Brooks is obviously a high-powered attorney based on the high tech methods he employs to benefit his client.
I HAVEN’T SEEN THAT KIND OF AWESOME DISPLAY SINCE MY 8TH GRADE SCIENCE FAIR
Victoria insists that Fauxmanda is responsible and that they need to find out everything she has been doing for the past 18 years.
Mr. Brooks says that is putting all of their ova into one basket and that they need to present the jury with at least one other viable suspect. Victoria suggests they hang Jack out to dry.
Nolan meets with Jack who wants to discuss the money transfer receipt that he found in Fauxmanda’s things. Nolan reminds him that it is proof that the Graysons paid her off, but Jack ain’t so sure. He asks Nolan to break into the bank records and find out. Nolan tells Jack that he is not acting like himself. Jack says all signs point to Daniel being guilty so where is Fauxmanda? He refuses to put it behind him and storms off dramatically.
Mr. Brooks tells them that the trial will begin the first week of December. Apparently the 1% can leapfrog over the rest of those poor saps who wait years for a trial. I need to Wordsworth – I know.
Mr. Brooks says there is no way Judge Iron Pants will revisit bail unless there is a life threatening condition.
LIKE THIS, PERCHANCE?
Victoria tells them that Fauxmanda is no longer the sole focus of the investigation. She shows them the sketch that now looks just like Jack, even though that is not what it looked like when Charlotte and Declan left the artist.
Victoria begins to grill Emily about Jack. Emily tells her that they run the chance of alienating the jury pool if they suggest a popular guy like Jack is involved in a murder. Victoria says that if Fauxmanda doesn’t show up they need someone to take the fall. Conrad says Emily has a point and says they need a spin doctor to paint Daniel in a positive light. Emily suggest Mason Treadwell, but Victoria says he has not returned any of her calls since the night this house burned down. Emily says another “trial of the century” might lure him out of hiding and she is going to try to find him. Conrad approves.
In New York City, an unknown guy takes a call. It’s Victoria and she asks him if he can get a message to someone at Riker’s prison. He suggests she use the US Postal Service. She tells him “its not that kind of message.”
Nolan and Emily are talking about Victoria’s plan to frame Jack. Nolan is pissed that Emily has allowed Jack to be put in jeopardy, but she assures him that the prosecutors already have their suspect so they aren’t going to change now. Emily says she always has her trump card to play and that she would come clean to clear Jack.
Reassured, Nolan agrees to find Mason Treadwell. He also tells her about Jack freaking out about the money transfer. Emily tells him to encourage Jack to go to Canada to check it out because it will get him out of harm’s way.
Emily is visiting Daniel in prison. Emily tells Daniel the ways to stay safe in prison: hold your head up; don’t look down; don’t gamble. She forgot “don’t retrieve the soap.” She assures him that she will always be by his side.
Nolan find Mason drinking wine coolers and moping. He moans about his typewriter being “an unsightly heap of molten dreams” and that he’ll never write again.
NOLAN SILENTLY THANKS THE GODS OF METAPHOR FOR THIS REVELATION
Nolan says that he feels guilty about taking Mason to dinner the night of the fire. Mason says all the fault lies with “Amanda Clarke.” Mason has not heard about Daniel’s arrest. Nolan describes what happened and suggests that this would be a thrilling conclusion to his David Clarke saga.
MASON WETS HIMSELF A LITTLE
Mason goes to Grayson Manor to discuss writing about the case. Victoria says she will give him exclusive access to information and a place to write. Emily suggests he blog about it but Mason who dresses as he lives – in the 1920’s – has no idea how to blog. Enter the competent Ashley who has set “The Treadwell Report” up for him.
Back at the prison – Rut Roh –
NOTHING GOOD THIS WAY SHALL COME
The shower room is empty as Daniel leaves – not good. Suddenly, two goons come in and beat the crap out of him.
IS THIS VICTORIA’S “MESSAGE?”
Emily and Victoria arrive at the prison. Daniel received a concussion, two cracked ribs, and a broken eye socket. Victoria feigns distress and quickly jumps on the “life threatening condition” bandwagon. Mr. Brooks tells her that the judge has agreed to consider house arrest.
GO ON. PRESS IT. YOU KNOW YOU WANNA.
Mason comes to The Stowaway and meets with Jack. Mason shows Jack the sketch and asks him to go on the record to state that Fauxmanda put him up to killing Tyler. He refuses. Declan has overheard and stops Treadwell. He claims Jack is innocent. Declan tells him that Charlotte was zonked on pain pills and champagne that night but Declan is willing to tell him the story.
Unknown Guy is sitting at the bar when Victoria shows up. She complains that Daniel was beaten too hard but U.G. says she got what she paid for. Emily has followed her and sees Victoria pay off U.G. She takes pictures of the event.
The bartender calls Victoria “Vicki Harper.” Victoria asks where he got that name and he indicates a mysterious stranger across the bar. It’s Antonio Banderas! No, it’s really someone she is kissing passionately in the alley behind the bar. Oooo – Vicki likes it rough!!
Emily is putting something in the safe as Charlotte comes home and finds Mason in her room. He shows her the pills he found. Charlotte tells him it’s none of his business. He says au contraire, mon frère. Mason tells her she does not have to go down this road and be like the rest of her family.
Nolan is meeting Jack at The Stowaway. Nolan tells him that the money was in Fauxmanda’s account but she has not withdrawn any of it. Nolan speculates that she is waiting for Jack. He tells Jack that he can make it to Montreal before the banks open on Monday morning. Jack asks why Nolan is having a change of heart and Nolan tells her he wants his friend back so he needs to get this BS over with.
Victoria is walking around wearing a drop cloth and looking at large paintings of herself. The guy – who has a really strange accent (are we really going down this is-it-Irish-or-is-it-Montague route again, David Kelley?) – calls the painting “vintage” and waxes on about his wasted potential.
He goes on to recall how a long time ago he told a “vibrant young woman” that he had never experienced true passion and love until he painted her. Victoria says she responded by telling him she didn’t think she could ever fall in love with anyone. He reminds her that she got married soon after. And then they make out again.
Treadwell is typing on his blog when he gets an anonymous IM. It says, “I know who torched your house . . . it wasn’t me.” He nonsensically looks around. Another message instructs him to look in a drawer in his desk where he finds all of his tapes. The message tells him he needs to talk to Victoria because she stole his tapes. Then we see who is on the other end –
The next morning Vicki is still shacking up with the Artist. They go at it again and I realize that I MUST have the name of Victoria’s menopause meds ’cause Mr. S-Natch would be ever so grateful.
Victoria calls Conrad as the Artist is pawing her and he tells her that Daniel is going to be released on $10 million bail and the under the condition of house arrest.
Conrad tells her Daniel is already on his way home. Victoria rushes away from the arms of her lover.
BUT ONLY AFTER HE TELLS HER HOW LOVELY SHE LOOKS IN THE MORNING
Daniel returns home and into Emily’s arms.
Charlotte calls Declan and reams him a new one over The Treadwell Report that quotes Declan as saying Charlotte was soused at the time of the crime. Declan went on to say that there was no hooded man on the beach and that Charlotte invented the theory when she thought her brother was in trouble. Declan tells her she will understand one day, but Charlotte says he totally failed the school entry exam and her grandfather wrote the school administrators in order to get him in. She calls him a puppet in the Grayson family play and tells him it is time for his exit. She hangs up and takes a handful of pills.
Victoria rushes in and tells Daniel he is never going back to prison again. Emily informs her that there has been a setback and that Declan has recanted. Mr. Brooks shows Victoria The Treadwell Report. Emily says that she saw Charlotte with pills at the party. Mr. Brooks says Daniel’s defense is done-zo.
Victoria comes into Charlotte’s room and asks point blank if she took pills the night of the party. She denies it but Victoria calls bullshit. Charlotte admits she is high and says its bound to happen when your dad is a mass murderer. Victoria slaps her and accuses her of sending her brother to jail for life.
Jack is preparing to leave for Canada and is leaving Nolan to babysit Declan. Nolan tells Declan that he knows he is protecting Jack.
Victoria is meeting with Treadwell. She accuses him of betraying her. He says he only told the truth and that he saw Victoria was trying to frame an innocent man. Treadwell tells her he will continue to tell the truth and that her empire is crumbling. He tells her he knows that she burned down his house and he found his tapes. She claims they were in her safe (ah –ha – Emily was REMOVING something from the safe earlier). Treadwell tells her that if she tries to implicate Amanda Clarke in any of this he will burn Victoria at the stake. Victoria says he will destroy both of them by doing that. Treadwell says he would rather have his soul intact.
Unknown Guy is watching news coverage of Daniel’s return. Ashley is acting as spokesperson. Emily in a really bad wig approaches him.
REALLY. MY AUNT DAHLIA HAD BETTER HEADPIECES. AND SHE MADE HER OWN. OUT OF THE DUST BUNNIES SHE COLLECTED FROM UNDER THE COUCH
U.G. tells her that he has done work for the Graysons. She tells him she will buy him a drink for every piece of bull he makes her believe. She records him as they begin the game.
Victoria is talking to Daniel. He says it is too quiet to sleep. She tells him it will all be over soon. Victoria apologizes for putting together a hasty defense, thereby neglecting one suspect –
Daniel lamely tries to defend Emily but Victoria implants doubt. Daniel
finds his balls tells her if she implicates Emily he will confess to the whole thing.
Back at the bar, U.G. tells Emily about Daniel getting beaten up thanks to Vicki. She asks to go to his place. Daniel is trying to call her but cannot reach her. Jack is driving through Canada (we know because the radio is playing in French). Declan is trying to call Charlotte.
We learn that Victoria’s lover is Dominik Wright who spent time in jail on drug and art forgery charges. Dominik calls her and she hangs up on him as Conrad comes into the room. Conrad tells her to be discreet. She accuses him of leading Treadwell to the tapes. Conrad tells her all of this is her fault.
Victoria shows up again at Dominik’s loft. Emily and U.G. are outside. She says, “This is for Jack” and beats the crap out of him, adding a few extra kicks for Daniel. Before she leaves she makes an imprint of his key.
AND….. WE’RE BACK!
What did you think, Gasmii? Was it worth the wait? What role do you think Dominik will play? What will Daniel’s defense be? Are you glad we have 5 more episodes? Speak, my lovelies – I have missed you!!
Not enough ‘Gasm? Follow us on Facebook!!