Hey, y’all! Sorry to have kept you waiting! I tried to post this for over 13 hours yesterday, but the system kept crashing so I took a Xanax, downed a shot of pickled-flavored vodka, and called it a night! Can’t wait to hear what you have to say about this week’s ep!
Hello, Gasmii! So excited to be back this week – your comments last week were awesome. I love reading everyone’s insights, speculations, and reactions. It makes a great show even more fun to watch.
OKAY. I WAS GOOGLING “HAPPY” IMAGES AND CAME UP WITH THIS. IT’S A LITTLE CONFUSING AND DISTURBING, SO YOU KNOW I HAD TO SHARE IT!
Let’s get started with a Infamy, shall we? First of all, let’s define “infamy”:
I THINK WE ALL UNDERSTAND NOW
On to our feature presentation.
We open with a preteen Amanda (Emily) reading the book, Society Connection by Mason Treadwell. She is crying hysterically. Kind of like when I realize that Mr. S-Natch has taken one of his little blue pills or that we are out of Rocky Road ice cream.
Flash-forward to adult Emily stoically reading the same book, while VO tells us infamy is notoriety forced on someone. Daniel comes home and informs Emily that he has put business school on hold to work for Grayson Global. He also tells her that Victoria is feeling sceered over the incident with Tyler and she is all alone in that big house, so he is thinking about moving back in with her for the summer.
Okay, Gasmii, let’s examine this for one tiny moment, shall we? Daniel wants to move back in with Victoria because she is a wilting violet and he needs to protect her. Victoria, the biggest ball buster on God’s green earth, lives in a mansion with staff and, presumably, an alarm system 24/7. Emily, on the other hand (as far as Daniel knows), is helpless and alone in an unsecured house. AND SHE IS THE ONE THAT HAD THE GUN POINTED AT HER HEAD. Methinks Danny Boy needs to grow a pair.
YEAH, WHAT HE SAID
Daniel then suggests to Emily that they get a place in the city after the summer. Emily says she won’t get a place with someone unless they are married because her parents had high morals and she wants to honor them in that way.
Nolan, Emily, and Victoria are attending a book lecture by none other than Mason Treadwell himself. Turns out that Society Connection is a book reviling David Clarke. Emily walks up as Victoria and Mason are hugging. Mason tells Emily that he and Victoria are “as thick as thieves.”
OR AS THICK AS VICKI’S CANKLES, EITHER ONE
Emily tells Mason that she lives in the house David Clarke used to own and compliments his writing and research. Mason invites Emily to Victoria’s for a little
three way book reading that evening. Emily eagerly agrees.
AND VOLUNTEERS TO BRING THE CHOCOLATE SAUCE
She then introduces Nolan, and Mason practically pees his pants in excitement.
AND WHO COULD BLAME HIM?
Nolan says that he has decided to get out more since the incident with Tyler made him recognize his mortality. Mason, slobbering all over himself more than a Kardasian approaching a pack of paparazzi, gives Nolan his card and offers to write his biography. Victoria, acting on her aversion to sloppy seconds, invites Mason over for lunch for a “discussion.”
AND WHO COULD BLAME HER?
Next we are at The Stowaway, where Emily calls Jack to thank him for saving her life. Emily asks how Fauxmanda just as she walks up and mauls Jack. Fauxmanda suggests they go to Atlantic City, but Jack says he has to work. Fauxmanda gets all this-small-town-is-boring, but Jack can’t be swayed. Fauxmanda then lifts her ass firmly on to her shoulders and huffs, “I wonder if you’d say no to Emily Thorne,” and huffs off.
IS IT JUST ME OR DOES THIS MAN HAVE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL SKIN EVER?
Back at Grayson Manor, the sycophantic Mason has his nose planted firmly up Vicki’s spanxed ass when Victoria tells him that Amanda Clarke is back in town and she wants him to find out why. Victoria reminds Mason that he interviewed Amanda after the trial and that he can pretend he is doing a follow up. When Mason hesitates, Victoria reminds him that he has a career because of her. Mason tells her it is hard to forget a deal that is made with the Devil.
OR HIS MUCH MORE EVIL DOPPELGANGER
Emily is re-reading her father’s diary. Turns out that David trusted Mason Threadwell and told him the truth about the corruption at Grayson Global Enterprises and during the trial. Emily is watching a tape of “The Fred Charles Show,” a talk show wherein Mason is showing tape of David’s interview and calling David pathologically delusional, and that there are no facts supporting his accusations.
Yay!!!! The BIG RED X has made its reappearance:
WE’VE MISSED YOU, BIG RED X!
Mason is so screwed!
In The Stowaway, Mason is assembling a plastic cigarette and ordering a Gibson. And, because I am always looking out for you, my Lovelies, here you go:
• 2 1/2 oz gin
• 1/2 oz dry vermouth
• 1 or 3 cocktail onions for garnish
1. Pour the ingredients into a mixing glass with ice cubes.
2. Stir well.
3. Strain into a chilled cocktail glass.
4. Garnish with the cocktail onion.
The onion garnish also marries well with vodka when it replaces the gin for a Vodka Martini.
TRUE, IT’S NO GUMMI BEARS SOAKED IN WHIPPED CREAM VODKA, BUT IT’LL MAKE YOU FORGET CANDES EVER EXISTED!
Mason asks Fauxmanda if he remembers her, and reminds her of why she should. Mason invites her over to his house for a “reprise interview” for his memoirs.
Ryan Huntley is meeting with Victoria, and tells her that he cannot find a reason to force Charlotte back home but he is still working on it. Huntley also tell Victoria that Conrad is trying to divest her of her shares of Grayson Global. Victoria fumes that the earned every share on her back, but Huntley advises that they should set up an “insurance policy” before confronting Conrad about Victoria’s interest in the company. He says that Daniel should persuade Conrad to restore Daniel’s access to his grandfather’s trust fund, so that Daniel will have a large interest in the firm and, together, Daniel and Victoria would control the company.
Declan is going all Fauxmanda on Charlotte, bitching about how once Charlotte goes back to school they will never see each other. Okay, this guy lives in a summer resort area and he can’t understand the concept of vacationers? Hell, even when I fell madly in love with Mitch Eichelberger that year at Ocean Isle Beach I knew we were as doomed as a couple of fudgecicles in the sun. Declan huffs off.
YOUNG LOVE SUMMED UP IN ONE PHOTOGRAPHIC IMAGE – SIGH
Daniel meets with Conrad and tells him he would consider Conrad’s releasing to him his trust shares in Grayson Global as a “show of faith.” Conrad agrees just as his attorney, Barbara, arrives for their lunch meeting. Once Daniel leaves, Conrad tells her what Daniel said. Barbara reminds him that Victoria is likely behind this, but Conrad says they can state that the shares are invalid until Daniel either marries or turns 30, and Victoria will be thwarted.
At this point I am starting to turn a little against Daniel, Gasmii. IMO, Daniel is really rather weak, and it is becoming clear that his “engagement” to Emily is going to be more about helping Mommy than true love. And we ALL know the power of true love.
I digress. Barbara asks Conrad about Emily, but Conrad says Daniel is ADD “easily distracted” and the relationship will likely not last the summer.
Mason is taking Emily and Nolan on a tour of his house. He tells them that he only uses an old typewriter, not a computer, and shows them the single copy of his memoirs. Nolan is thinking that Mason is a complete pussy putz, and rescinds his blow job privileges.
Mason also shows them the stash of recordings of interviews for the Clarke book and tells them he is going to be interviewing Fauxmanda for a follow up.
Fauxmanda is lighting shots on fire and flirting with some hot chick. After Jack reprimands her, Fauxmanda slips the gal some tongue and mounts the bar. Pissed that Fauxmanda didn’t mount him instead, Jack goes over to Emily who just walked in. Fauxmanda descends on them faster than a banana split at fat camp, and Emily tells her she wants to talk to her.
Fauxmanda accuses Emily of having a thing with Jack, but Emily reassures her that Jack loves her. Fauxmanda and Emily go out on the porch where Fauxmanda proceeds to get even more shit-faced drunk.
Emily tells Fauxmanda that her father was innocent but she can’t prove it without Fauxmanda’s help. Fauxmanda asks Emily what she wants her to do, and there is dramatic music all around.
AND THIS LIGHTER SEEMS TO BE SOME BIG F-ING DEAL, TOO
The next day Declan is salivating over pictures of Fauxmanda kissing the chick at the bar. Declan tells Jack that Fauxmanda is a “forcer” that will help him loosen up so he doesn’t end up dying early like their dad. And here I thought a “forcer” was me trying to get into my Pajama Jeans. Learn something new every day.
Nolan is wussing out on the shooting range, and Daniel proves that he is a crack shot. He brags to Emily that he is a better shot, and she lets him continue think that by fudging up her target practice, cause you and I know the girl could shoot the eye out of a fly from 3 miles away.
After Daniel leaves, Emily tells Nolan that Mason Treadwell is really Leo Treadwell, and he started as a journalist researching the plane crash. In flashback, Emily recalls an interview with Treadwell wherein he expresses condolences that her previous foster home had been lost in a fire.
YUP. I’M SURE THAT WAS AN ACCIDENT!
Leo tells her that he is talking to her because his father says he is innocent. Leo asks her if she feels he is innocent, and she whispers, “I have to say he is guilty or else they will put me away, just like they did him.” Leo vows not to let that happen, so she shows him the picture of her father she keeps hidden under the bed. She then tells him that she doesn’t think her father did it, and Leo says he doesn’t think he did, either. He then asks her if she will help him rescue her father. Emily tells Nolan that it was Treadwell’s book that made her believe her father was guilty.
SHE THEN TAKES OUT HER ANGER ON THIS UNFORTUNATE PAPER MAN
Back at the South Fork Inn, Conrad introduces Daniel to Sophie Arnaud, the really hot granddaughter of Ferris (Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?) Arnaud, some shipping magnate or something.
GOOD OL’ GRANDPOP
Conrad leaves Daniel and Sophie alone to discuss “business.”
Mason is interviewing Fauxmanda. We see that the lighter (dun, dun, dun) is really a bug, and Emily is doing her best Cyrano de Bergerac impression in Fauxmanda’s ear. Fauxmanda goes off script and tells Mason she wants to set down roots, but Emily gets her to remind Mason that she had told him as a girl that Victoria and David were having an affair and that there was another man out there on the porch that night. Mason said that she was just a kid so he couldn’t take her word, and Emily has Fauxmanda remind him that he had given his word that he would help David.
Mason tells Fauxmanda that she is confused. Fauxmanda calls him a fraud and tells him that he only has one chance at redemption.
DAMMIT, NOLAN!!!! He just called Emily “Cyrano”! Did I not do that one paragraph ago??! Just so you know, Gasmii, my style of writing recaps is that I watch the episodes and pause as I go in order to create spontaneous, “in the moment” reactions and comments. I have no idea what is coming next. IN OTHER WORDS, NOLAN USED HIS FREAKY STALKING POWERS TO STEAL MY LINE AGAIIIINNN! Now I’m going to have to actually clean my house in order to find the f**king Shamu!
MY LIFE SUCKETH
Daniel stops by Casa Vicki to tell her that Conrad set him up on a date with Sophie Arnaud, so he became suspicious and found out the revised terms of the trust. Daniel tells Victoria that all he has to do is get Emily to say “yes” and they can have all they want. Victoria tells Daniel that he needs to be certain before asking Emily to marry him, but he insists he can have his cake and eat it to. Good luck, Danny Boy, I’ve been trying to figure out a way to do that for years.
Victoria calls minion Ashley in and asks her if Emily has arrived, setting Ashley up to do something for her. Ashley finds Emily and tells her the terms of the trust and implies that if Daniel should pop the question, his motives may not be pure.
Mason shows up late, and tells Victoria that Fauxmanda is a very angry girl with a sharp memory and that is she spills what she knows Mason will go down as a literary fraud. Victoria tells him that there are far worse fates than that.
I AM TEMPTED TO PUT AN EVIL CLOWN HERE, BUT I PROMISED COSMONALA I WOULDN’T, SO HERE IS A KITTEN INSTEAD
Flashback to Treadwell asking Victoria if she and David were lovers, to which she responds that she will sue Treadwell is he prints such a thing. Treadwell then asks about a note Vicki passed David saying that she would tell Prosecutor Kingsley information that would exonerate him, when Conrad rushes in and stops the interview. Treadwell tells the Graysons that he will write the book with or without them and that they can sue him if they want to because he has nothing to lose. Victoria stops him and offers “an arrangement.”
FREE TYPEWRITER RIBBON FOR A YEAR! YESSIRREEBOB!
At the party, Victoria tells Treadwell that, as long as he behaves he will be protected. If not, his memoirs will end in a very dark chapter.
Treadwell is reading the chapter of his memoir about his interview with Fauxmanda. Treadwell says that, as a result of his interview, he reviewed the information about Clarke, but came to the same conclusions before – David Clarke was guilty.
Afterwards, Emily tells Nolan that she had ulterior motives in getting Fauxmanda to threaten Treadwell, and asks Nolan to take him to dinner under the guise of writing his biography. Nolan asks Emily what she is planning and she tells him he’ll know it when he sees it.
After Treadwell checks his boogers and spinach teeth in the mirror, he and Nolan head off to dinner while Emily goes into his house. Victoria is bitching to her attorney about the change in the trust. He advises her to let Daniel marry Emily and take control of the company. Victoria tells him that her son is more important than the company, but Huntley reminds her that the stipulation says “marriage,” not “successful marriage,” so Daniel can marry Emily in haste and dump her later.
Meanwhile, Jack tells Fauxmanda that “old, uptight” Jack is dead, and that he appreciates her spontaneity. He tells her he is taking the tips for the week and they are going to Atlantic City for the weekend.
Emily is breaking into the cabinet with the tapes in them. Simultaneously, little Amanda is burning her father’s picture because she believes the book, and Emily is using one of Mason’s cigarettes to burn the memoir manuscript – and his house – to the ground.
After a roll in the hay with Daniel, Emily watches a tape and sees . . .
DAVID CONFESSING THAT HE IS CHARLOTTE’S FATHER!!!!!
Gasmii Rock! In the comment section of my very first (catch-up) recap of the show, CattyFan wrote: “If I wrote this story, I would do several things. . . I would make Charlotte amanda/Emily’s half-sister…and the reason Victoria hasn’t bonded with Charlotte (as Victoria said in her session with the psychiatrist) is because Charlotte reminds her of the life she could have had with Amanda’s dad, David, if Victoria hadn’t participated in sending David to prison.”
Several of you have also mentioned it, including ash1 in the “Duress” recap.
A toast to you all, my Gasmii!
The floor is yours. Discuss. I can’t wait to hear what you have to say (PS – next week looks “killer”!)
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