Things I learned today: Porsha only cares about the price of lamps, she wears tight minidresses and heels to go furniture shopping and she buys American. Kandi is with her because she likes Porsha’s taste in home furnishings. Porsha buys whatever she likes and avoids the receipts like she avoided math class. Kandi, who actually earned her money, cares a lot more about the receipts and the price of ridiculous things.
Kandi: You don’t look at any of your receipts?!
Porsha: As long as the tag says Made in North America I buy it.
Kandi: I’m pretty sure it’s “Made in the USA”.
Porsha: North America, USA, whatever! Why are you people so hung up on geology?
NeNe takes her glam-daughter shopping with Cynthia. The news about Bryson having a kid came out a while ago and I remember there being a little buzz about NeNe not publicly acknowledging it. NeNe says that she doesn’t feel need to broadcast the baby because it’s not hers. If it was hers, she would’ve bedazzled it and written a book called: Lessons from GlamMa: Close your Legs to Married Men, Trashbox.
NeNe greets Cynthia who is very impressed with her friend’s shoes so NeNe has a shoe modeling expo while the baby sits in the sweltering car for 35 minutes. Once they get into the store, NeNe says that they had a DNA test because Bryson is not married to the girl. Good thing NeNe started making money otherwise she would’ve been on Maury running laps and beating up security guards.
“You’d make a great addition to The Bailey Agency Pre- School of Genetic Testing and Stem Cell Research.”
Cynthia: She’s gonna need teeth if she comes to my school.
NeNe: I already made the appointment.
Kenya is at a photo shoot for a magazine and Kandi stops by with a sex toy. Is that insulting? It’s like saying I know you’re not getting any from your man so…go crazy. I literally have no interest or patience for this storyline since their relationship was reportedly fake and even the cast members saw that during filming.
Kandi: That’s an interesting weave.
Kenya: Oh, it’s not a weave. I just had a colonic and decided to recycle.
NeNe, Gregg and Brentt are all packing to move to L.A. Gregg continues his downward spiral, says he can’t pack his clothes and NeNe says he’s acting like he’s slow. Breaking News: it’s not an act. NeNe wants to find a tutor for Brentt, a place to live etc… and Gregg says he wants to find a park. I presume he wants to flash people since he got his sexy back but knowing him he’d probably take so long to open his coat that he’d end up getting flashed first. He says the park will be good for the dog but NeNe is scared of coyotes attacking it. Gregg, who’s mentioned chicken in just about every episode this season, says that their dog will look like a snack sized piece of chicken to a coyote. If the dog disappears, check Gregg’s fryer. NeNe will be keeping house in Atlanta and her realtor calls to tell her that she got a house in the Hollywood Hills near Tyler Perry and so many other people. I hope NeNe has a really good accountant. I mean, living next to Tylep Perry is one thing but so many other people! That’s taking it to another level!