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For my fifth birthday, my mom invited a bunch of her friends to a park and told them to bring their kids. I was super pissed that I couldn’t sit with the adults and talk shit about people while chugging boxes of wine. Now, decades later, I’m pissed that my fifth birthday was in a park. If Real Housewives of Beverly Hills has taught me anything this week, it’s that my mother is a selfish monster. And probably a drunk. And thankfully, doesn’t know how to use the internet well enough to read these recaps.
We open with the sound of Taylor’s bony ass knees knocking up against each other as she walks down the street, avoiding as many restaurants as possible.
Jeeze. Get some padding. You sound like a police horse. Clop clop clop.
She tells us her brat is turning four soon, so it’s time for a giant party that costs more than her entire body did the first time around. Look how her mouth looks when she pronounces the word “four”, you guys. I hope this shit is close captioned, cuz lip readers won’t understand a thing she says.
Is she saying bus? Fire? Appendectomy? WHAT?
First stop is a jewelry store, cuz four is the age a girl gets her first important piece. Four years old is when a child should get its first spanking, not its first expensive piece of jewelry. That doesn’t come until you’ve had sex with your first older rich ugly guy, and you shouldn’t do that at least until you’re 15. What is the world coming to? Girls need to learn to earn that shit just like their sad drumfaced mommies did.
It’s hard not to instantly feel jealousy with this one. She’s shopping on Rodeo. As a kid I spent plenty of time at the rodeo. The poor person kind. It smelled like poop and spit out tobacco at that dump. I am an adult and understand that Rodeo and rodeo are different, but I can’t help but wonder if the inside of this place smells like poop and spit out tobacco, too:
Get some Glad plugins. They’re like five bucks.
There are some downsides to living in Los Angeles, but one of the reasons I can never live anywhere else is because here, old fat balding guys wear pink pants, rose colored glasses, and big necklaces over their collars. I don’t even need the beach.
Lots of “fabulous” “it was a gaaaas” and “yay diamonds for toddlers” fakeness being tossed around. If you’re gonna spoil your kid, get her something useful. Like some bladder control. Can you buy that?
Not yet. The future can’t come fast enough.
Taylor tells us “I’ve been with my jewelers for over five years.” LOL. Did they try to bang you on the first date? You’re in a super deep relationship with everyone you meet until you’re calling everyone you know drunk at the police station to come bail you out and not one of those motherfuckers PICKS UP THEIR PHONE. WE’VE BEEN TOGETHER FOR FIVE YEEEEARS!
Did you guys know that Barbie has a very exclusive collection? Me neither. Taylor oohs and ooohs. She might have ahhhed but her mouth was in the same formation as ooh so I can’t tell. “They didn’t have this when I was a little girl!” They also didn’t have butt fat to forehead injections back then, but look at you now! We’ve come a long way, America.
Honey, that woman with a lava lamp face who bought the zirconium pacifier from us last year is calling from jail.
EW! Don’t answer.
Taylor tells us about growing up an only child and never having been around babies before she had one. Motherhood is “a new concept for me.” I think she only bred to get the stem cells. She must have been shocked when she ended up with a four year old that wouldn’t let her stick needles in its spine to get youth juice every time she craved it. Right in front of our eyes, Taylor morphs from a caterpillar into a…caterpillar with an ever changing piehole.
The Evolution of a Piehole.
Those necklaces would be really cute to pick up at the airport for my niece for like five dollars because she is still into the “came out of a cereal box” look. But a thousand bucks? Fuck. Y’all.
For double the money, she could get her own with cognac diamonds! And don’t forget party favors for the guests! That jewelry guy is slick. They talk about how he just came back from winning a huge poker tournament and Taylor says she had no idea he was a poker type.
Your staff should all be wearing these necklaces too. And the pedestrians surrounding the party. Any animals? We have collars. Pick which shell the nut is under and if you get it right I give you half off, you pay me double if you lose. Wanna drink? They’re complimentary while you’re playing.
Taylor says that her folks gave her pretty special bday parties, but they were the “poor” version of special. She has to sleep with that gorilla backed a hole of a husband, and it’s all so Taylor can do things like drop six thousand bucks for jewelry for a goddamn baby. I HOPE IT’S WORTH IT.
Lisa’s kids are back home and she’s making a big dinner. Well, we didn’t see her make it exactly. But she carved some meat. I’d be kind of disappointed to learn that she cooked it. The kids are all grown, and they talk in the same cute way Lisa does. That accent always makes ignorant ass Americans like me giggle. I read all of the Harry Potter books, and don’t really know what even happened cuz my inside voice had that accent and I giggled through all eighteen thousand pages of it.
Lisa gives her daughter shit for not being married when she’s already four years older than Lisa was when she got married. Her husband says that the kid is too young, and Lisa was too. They laugh about it all now. Lisa doesn’t understand why her daughter wouldn’t want to be at her peak age alongside an old dude with lint hanging off his ear hair. Lisa’s a good mom.
Poor Leech has to serve dinner, of course. Guys like this are trouble. If the neighbors see, they’ll all dump their hard working maids and hire guys who work out a lot and wear tight shirts. There will be a Maid Depression.
I’m sorry, Romana. You’re fired.
Lisa did cook that giant meal! I’m impressed. And disheartened. The daughter’s name is Pandora. Rich people, please keep up with obnoxious child names. It makes it way easier to hate them when they’re on reality shows. So do these bangs, but I don’t blame Lisa for these:
I don’t know who this guy is, but I love him. Is he Pandora’s bfriend? Cuz girls with bangs like shouldn’t get guys like this. It sends the wrong message. Bad bangs are not ok, kids. When you’re rich you have no excuse to wear blue eyeshadow and frosted hair, k? You’re welcome.
The convo turns to Lisa’s son Max, who’s 18 and off living with his godmother for his last year of high school to go to private school where he can’t smoke pot and ditch class. Supposedly. I put my parents through the exact same things, and I’ve got the permanent black rings under my eyes to show for it. I wish I had been sent off to private school! We had really shitty weed in my town.
Max was adopted, and Lisa says that he’s always struggled with the fact that he was plopped into a family of over achievers. You need to threaten him with abandonment and getting put in the system. Show him White Oleander and make him appreciate what he’s got and stop fucking it up. Behave yourself or Rene Zellweger will kill herself and it will be all your fault.
Leech puts a giant wine glass in front of his face to show us what he would look like with Taylor’s mouth.
Max wants to go to get in the music biz, and he’s demanding to go to school on Sunset Boulevard. Daddy Vanderpump sees no reason why anyone would go to seedy ass Hollywood unless it was for hookers, blow, or a decent Bed Bath and Beyond binge. Lisa knows how toxic Hollywood is. At least in Beverly Hills you can contain your toxidity with credit cards and pool houses.
Sit, toxidity. Roll over, toxidity. Do some pushups.
Adrienne isn’t just a multi-million dollar business woman, she’s also a mom. Which is why she cries at night when no one can hear her and rips the skin off her thumb from grinding her index finger against it. She looks straight at us and says “being a mom? Hardest job in the world.” I can top that, actually:
Having to deal with mothers of small kids is the hardest job in the world. This poor Chef doesn’t even flinch as the kids whine about chocolate milk and throw their food on the ground. Just to see if he can get Buddha Chef to crack, one of the brats does this:
Paul can’t take the kid screeching, so he leaves the table and goes to pretend he’s throwing little boy heads through a basket.
Adrienne says that he can’t deal with them, but she’s got patience. Then she’s the one we can all blame when one of those kids shoots up heroin and robs a liquor store just cuz it’s fun. Children need to get beat. Ephedra from Real Housewives of Atlanta isn’t right about much, but she hit that nail on the head with the whole child rearing thing. Chef laughs, cuz Adrienne trying to pretend she spends all day with those little heathens is too damn funny not to laugh.
A night to myself. I’m going to sit in the dark, in silence, and pretend I’m not those kids’ real mom until morning.
Camille is getting ready for a trip to Hawaii with her kids and it’s really stressful. First, she has to tell her House Manager that she wants to go. Then the House Manager has to organize people. Then those people do things, and they hire other people to do things. It may not seem like Camille has to do much, but there’s an entire economy built around hookers who hit the jackpot in LA, ok? She’s giving BACK. She has a “meeting” about the trip where she holds a pencil incorrectly and shudders at the thought of gathering enough strength to even get out of bed the morning of the trip.
This thing doesn’t work. I’m exhausted from trying to figure out how to color with this.
Camille complains about how hard it is being her, and without Frasier there it’s like ten times as hard because there’s not someone else’s palatable personality to deflect her Shlemiel-ism. Sure, the other women on this show have a lot on their plates, but it seems like she’s always got thirty percent more on hers. Is she fucking KIDDING? Bravo needs to start giving their cameramen squirt guns, cuz people like this shouldn’t be allowed to just open their stupid mouths with no repercussions. If I were on a plane right now, I’d take Frasier’s peen out of his pants and shove it into the first stewardess that passed. Camille deserves nothing less.
Insufferable Blowhard Syndrom
She asks if the pool in Hawaii is heated. No, but her hot tub is. F the kids. They can swim in the ocean. Frasier’s hot tub will remain unheated because otherwise they’d be wasteful. She’s so green. Signs that even your own husband can’t stand your stupid ass: separate hot tubs. The House Manager, who has to at least laugh on the inside every time she tells someone her job is dealing with the heaps of Camille’s bullshit, good naturedly jokes “It’ll be ok. It’s a trip to Hawaii.” She’s right, but still. I don’t approve of poor people having lines on this show. Including ex poor people. Which is why I will never believe a word that comes out of Shelemiel’s mouth. When she’s done talking about the zillions of dollars of Cheers money she’s blowing while complaining, she laughs in that “so I fucked Satan in college and will spend my afterlife chained to a burning trash can in Hell, what do you care?” kind of way.
Before our vomit starts deteriorating our TV screens, let’s move on to Taylor’s kid’s bday. Yawn. She’s spending a trillion dollars on it. Her good friend is the party planner. I’m sorry, but you don’t give “good friends” twelve grand to pick out some napkins, k? The party will be at The Houdini Mansion, because tying a bunch of little girls up and seeing if they can get unknotted before they drown isn’t dangerous, it’s rebellious and fresh and all the kids who live will be talking about that party for years to come. Taylor has, of course, invited everyone she was contractually obliged to Bravo to invite, but Kyle can’t come because she’s having a bday party for her brat on the same day. SNAPPLE: I Might Not Be as Rich as You But My Husband’s Nice and My Hair is Studied By Pharmaceutical Corporations Flavor.
Quick sidenote, did you guys watch Watch What Happened Live: The Bobblehead Hour? Kyle was on there with Izaac Mizrahi, who was so damn rude. He didn’t seem to know who she was and then had the gumption to diss plastic surgery, asking (about the BH Housewives) “who do those women think they’re fooling?” Well, Kyle probably wanted to rip your throat out with her crowns, but you can’t tell by looking at her so I would say they’re fooling plenty of queens, thank you very much. I know that I spend hours and pages ragging on these women, but I love every one of them in their own way and I didn’t like watching him diss them. He could just be lashing out cuz he needs to make a splash after his show was only brought back because Iman was lured into breathing actual life into it. I didn’t realize how angry I was about the whole thing until I read back that last paragraph to myself. It might be time to get out of the house for awhile. LOL just kidding that will never happen. Moving on.
Kyle is having a….less expensive event. Her planner only costs three grand, and she doesn’t have to call him one of her best friends. He’s not any less talented than Taylor’s planner, he’s just fatter and fat people still don’t earn salaries equal to thin people.
Ya ever heard about a thing called a pinata? They’re all the rage these days. Potato sack race? How bout that game where you send the kids out in a park to see who can collect the most bottle caps?
Taylor offered to combine the parties, but Kyle’s a control freak and wanted to prove her husband had money too plan her own party. She makes sure the kid’s food is gonna be good, which is not how you throw a party. Who cares what they eat? Mush up some glass with some chocolate milk mix and send them on their way. They aren’t the ones comparing your ass to Taylor in the carpool line on Monday. Wait. These women don’t run their own carpools, do they? How do they spread information? This shit is mysterious. Budget Poor People Party Planner is gonna make french fries and hamburgers, and it’s only gonna cost three grand. Those patties better be made of golden veal fetuses, Budget Poor People Party Planner!
Cut back and forth between party planning. Taylor’s having alcohol and a full on adult party, Taylor’s against drunk parents and everyone’s getting Capri Suns. Taylor’s got flights on real spaceships, Kyle’s giving piggy back rides on Kim away. Taylor’s spending a third world economy, Kyle’s cashing in some AmEx miles and taking her change to Coinstar machines. You get the drift.
This is way too much about the children. Let’s go to Hawaii and see if each individual soul has been sucked out yet. Camille looooooves Hawaii! She loooooves it so much! I don’t think Hawaii feels the same way about her, cuz it’s doing its best to bloody her feet up right now.
Walking is so haaaaard!
Hey there little boy. Do you like sports?
Camille has tons of money and homes, which is a lot of pressure. That’s why she’s already ditched the kids and taken her sacks of saline to the beach.
If it makes you guys feel any better, we think your mom’s an asshole, too.
We get a glossy tour of her Hawaii manse, and unless it’s on fire with her in it I really don’t care. Her stringy haired friend comes over and tries to start some shit talk about how Camille really need some time away from Frasier’s snoring, all about me all the time ass. Back in NY, Camille was a real go getter, and she’s lost that! Hey, Stringy Haired Friend. She went out and got herself the biggest boobs on the market and hundreds of millions of dollars. What have you gotten lately? Besides split ends.
Camille was happy to have Fras gone at first, cuz she didn’t have to listen to him snoring all night… in the next room over. LOL. Camille really makes frigidity look fun. Her entire marriage has been dedicated to Frasier’s sobriety, and Camille has changed her whole existence to take care of her man. Oh wah. How do you think it was for him, trying to sober up with the biggest excuse to drink sitting next to him day in and day out bitching about his snoring? “I kept him sober for twelve years.” No, HE kept HIMSELF sober for twelve years. You just made him want a drink. And of course, no, I wasn’t there. But I’ve known her for about four hours now and I want to just poke my toe and slowly bleed out every time she’s on screen.
Stringy Hair Friend talks about how great Camille is while House Manager sits there silently. The awesome thing about not having plastic surgery is that people can actually tell what you’re thinking just by looking at you.
It’s Lisa’s birthday! Happy day, girl! Glad you were born! If only because I can’t wait til the inevitable moment you snap and put a stiletto in Camille’s playdo nose. She is forgoing the giant party and just getting together for lunch with her family. I like Pandora because she’s Lisa’s kid and right now I like everything Lisa, but I’m not liking Leech too much. It’s his responsibility as the gay of the family to not let things like this happen:
Pandora gives her a picture of her as a baby. Ken looks like an old dude even way back then. No wonder there house smells like stain remover. He probably leaks like a grass roof in a flash flood.
Pandora and Ken have brought in a special surprise for Lisa. Max! The troubled youth! Even if we didn’t know he was a angry young stoner already, we’d know something was off with this one cuz he can’t stop staring at Lisa’s rack.
I’ve missed you guys!
Lisa says that she’s Max’s real mom even if he is adopted and duh obviously that’s how it should be. I just hope she doesn’t say “Just because you’re not mine doesn’t mean I don’t love you!” too much, cuz she’s said variations of that throughout this episode and that can be a real confidence killer. The family is planning on taking him to check out the dirty skanky sinful music school in Hollyhell, and Lisa’s not to thrilled. Max made his own guitar from scratch, though. That shows serious ambition. It’s also a sign of a serious pothead. Just saying. One time I made a statue of the Virgin Mary out of boogars and belly button lint. That doesn’t mean I should be a priest. Or should I? This show is really turning me on my head.
Point is, Lisa is super supportive of Max, and she tries to talk him into believing in himself. His first words were “I can’t”. AW. Is that true? My first words were “EW BOOBIES GET THEM AWAY!” I guess people never really change. Lisa is a good mom, and it’s too weird for me liking and respecting a Bravo Housewife this much so I’m glad this scene is over.
WIVES 27286 PLZ stop mkng that face ur scring me. luv
Let’s check in with Camille! She’s spending quality time with her kids. By kids I mean way too big fake boobs. And also some old fat guy is there. I understand putting yourself in this situation if you’re looking for your old fat guy to take care of you for the rest of your life, but this? This is just selfishness. Give the other strippers a chance.
Puff puff give.
Fat Old Guy is an “old friend”, and he hangs with Shlemiel and Stringy Haired Friend in the hot tub, going on and on about how hot Camille is. She says that she only hangs out with people who kiss her ass, and I have a feeling she’s not kidding. She quickly turns the conversation into being about how much she has helped these two leeches. UGH. Who does that? Help out your pauper friends and then bring it up in Hawaiian hot tubs? What an asshole. Stringy Hair Friend’s husband lost her job, so Camille gave her one of Frasier’s houses and one of his cars. It’s just in her nature to be a giver! She takes from a rich guy and gives to her poor friends. What the fuck are you, the government? Stop giving poor people cheese and liters of Cokes, Camille. They’re clogging up the streets.
She says that giving to her friends “is what completes me.” She’s like Tom Cruise and Frasier’s stolen money is like Rene Zellweger. Two times in one week? Rene Z, get out of my recap!! Fat Old Guy and Stringy Hair Friend both blab on about how generous Camille is. This is just fucking painful to watch. Speaking of painful, whose boobs are grosser? Camille’s giant fake ones or Fat Old Guy’s giant real ones?
Camille says she has a Jesus complex. LOL. If Jesus had a rack like that he’d probably still be alive today and turning water into filtered water, cuz we’re way lamer these days. What do you want to bet that her “generosity” ends when she’s stuck with only half of Frasier’s dough? As the convo ends, Camille says that God (NBC and a manager trying to find a stripper babysitter for his addict client) has blessed her as Stringy Hair Friend looks sadly down at her own tiny real boobs.
God I hate that bitch. But I hope she’s got a new car for me. That other one’s like five years old.
Ken wraps Lisa in Seran Wrap from head to toe and they head to the pits of hell: Hollywood. They’re checking out the Musician’s Institute. There are practice rooms full of kids playing music and Lisa looks like she wants to throw up. Unfortunately, she’s only had about 600 calories all week and her bones absorbed them immediately. Bones are greedy. The guy showing them around insists that they have a no tolerance drug policy ( HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH) and Lisa tries to buy that sack of horseshit. Do sober people even make music? Besides, even if he went to regular college there would be drugs everywhere. You know where the best weed is? Private schools far away from parents. Max is a little mortified at his mom’s questions, but he gets up the nerve to play guitar for the guy and he’s kinda good! He has a rhythm problem, but in his defense he’s as white as a nun’s butt and he’s got British parents.
Lisa is actually kinda thrilled with the school, or she at least pretends to be on the way home. Her parents let her follow her dreams of going to drama school and then marrying a rich old guy, so she hopes for the same happiness for her kid. I just hope his old guy has a good weed hookup, cuz he’ll need one at that school. You guys, have you noticed how hot Lisa’s butt is? Dang, girl! Show that thing off more often!
We haven’t seen Kim and Kyle fight about dumb shit yet, so let’s get to it. Kim found a house! The way they were talking about finances I thought she’d end up at a Best Western. It’s big, but it’s kinda ghetto for this show. Is that Silverlake? Cuz I can’t believe Andy Cohen would sign off on Silverlake. Too many ironic t-shirts to confuse his bobblehead ass.
Kyle gets frustrated with Kim a lot, but she’s totally capable of taking care of her kids, thank you very much. Now let’s watch her try to turn on the oven. LOL. She can’t do it. Her kids can’t either. At least this family’s consistent. Over at Kyle’s place, last minute bday preparations. She’s running around trying to get stuff done and Kim calls. Nope, can’t get their early to help cuz she’s moving today. HAHAHA. Of course she is. Kim likes to give Kyle reasons to beat her. It’s a sick circle with those two. Kyle makes Kim talk slower, but then the doorbell rings so she hangs up on her. HAHAHAHAH. I could watch these two all day. Just move on and finish what you can, girl. For starters, you could try to get the guest of honor to act like less of an asshole.
This is why God invented fly swatters.
Keep that attitude up and you’ll end up here:
Kids give birth and throw their kids away at prom in Beverly Hills, too. They’re just nicer trash cans.
Over at the Houdini Estate, Taylor’s lavish, expensive dickish party is getting ready to roll. Her best gay shows up to call her pretty and assure her that her face doesn’t look like the bottom of a used sterno. His name? DWIGHT. Come oooon! Not another one! The original one still keeps me up at night.
The party is beautifully obnoxious, as expected. Taylor went all out. She even got some really scared Asian help, which is totally in right now.
You know these guys are getting paid less than the cost of a quarter of a flower swan, right?
The kid is brought out to see her mom’s He May Be a Dick, But He’s a Rich Dick party setup. The look on her face says that she’s definitely from her father’s sperm.
Fuck this noise. I’m going to Scottsdale er Phoenix er Paris. Don’t wait up.
Taylor oohs and ahhs as she shows her sixty thousand bucks spread all over the backyard, but the kid just wants to go to her room and refuses to take a picture with her mom. Taylor shoves her off to her nanny and starts posing for the photographer. HAHA! Atta girl. It’s either beat her or get a portfolio you can photoshop later and send yourself back to puberty again, if only on paper. Right choice.
Poor Kennedy just had to get out of there because last time her mom did this, a table broke and Kennedy was bloody and traumatized.
I want to be friends with Kennedy. I used to think everything was a load of crap when I was that age. I want her to see that there’s still a chance of growing up happy and well rounded. HAHAHAH kidding. I want to bum cigs from her.
Push harder or I’m firing your ass and getting a new mother, heifer.
Wanna watch Camille paddleboard? Me neither. Unless there’s a guest star.
You’re on, buddy. Work your magic.
Kyle’s party! The pricetag pops up, and it’s a measly twelve grand. Descamisado. She spent it all on the kids, though, which is a waste of money respectable.
Now let’s find an empty stall and snort some sugar off each other’s butts.
Lisa stops by to ooh and ahh and tell us that her kids grew up in the English countryside and got some stale bread crusts and smelly cheese for their bdays. Kennedy comes out to act like a spoiled little brat, and Lisa takes it good naturedly while the rest of America throws something at their kids’ heads to remind themselves that they can.
I’ve got the number for a school you might like to attend, dahling.
Taylor tells us that someone like Lisa would be happy going out and buying herself twenty pairs of shoes, but Taylor’s happier doing something special for her child. Damn that was kinda harsh, but you can see what she means. She’s spent lots of shoe money on turning herself into a Mr. Potato Head. Must have been for Kennedy. That’s a toy that never goes out of style.
Mommy loves you honey! Don’t take off my mouth! I won’t be able to wemebbywrungbagmamoooout!
The party’s ridic. Dwight tries to make conversation with Russell, but he never brings up cheating or Phoenix or possible emotional abuse, so what’s the point? Taylor needs a better gay. Russell wants to eat, so Taylor makes him gather everyone. He wanders around muttering “time to eat” over and over like Rain Man, and then Taylor gives a speech about how grateful she is to have enough mommies to get drunk with her on her brat’s special day. YAY. Someone needs to fight. I’m bored. Adrienne looks sad. Or terrified. Or thrilled. I can never tell with her.
Put a mirror under her nose and make sure she’s still with us.
Kyle’s hot husband tells us what a good mom Kyle is, and we watch them take cute family pics that don’t involve standing on tables pretending they’re in a high school production of Hello, Dolly! He’s fine with whatever the bill is, he just wants to make sure the donkeys from the petting zoo aren’t gonna shit all over the yard. HA. Lisa shows up and says that she finally feels comfortable. Kim shows up late, of course, and this starts some fun dirty sister looks and then a little snippy fight. Who can even pay attention to this when Ken’s putting the moves on who he thinks is Taylor right in front of everyone?
Over at Taylor’s, there’s a band to sing a song to Kennedy! She might be a spoiled brat, but her taste level is right on.
Get me the hell out of here before I stick a sparkler up Pocahontas’ ass.
Uncaaaalled fooooor! That was uncaaaalllled foooooor!
Taylor brushes the attitude off as “she was overwhelmed by having her own theme song.” Pretty sure she hates you and everything you stand for, but I’m not a professional. Taylor presents the diamond Barbie necklace to Kennedy, who looks scared. I think it’s more of this face than the jewelry.
Say thank you before mommy swallows you whole.
But wait! There’s more! Russell has a giant gift! I’m guessing he wrapped one of the Asians up to keep. Darn. It’s a dog. They agreed that they wouldn’t get her a dog! He laughs about how she said no and he did it anyway. Shocker. Who cares? Was he in Phoenix or Scottsdale! At the end of the day, everyone leaves and Kennedy is left holding hands with her parents. It’s the only time she’s smiled all day. GO FIGURE.
Next week, Kyle tells Camille that she’s a lying sack of shit! And hopefully there will be no children involved! Unless they’re there to fuck Camille. I mean play sports with Camille. Thanks for being here! See you next time!
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