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Monday, December 5, 2011
10:44 pm
114 Comments
Previously on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Adrienne ripped off a bunch of shoe designers to inspire poor girls to do something that remains unclear…
There’s no reason only super rich midget goblins with rubber faces should look like tacky strippers.
…Camille found the perfect pose for her next round of headshots in case there’s ever a Naked Detective 2,…
Why are you NAKED? You’re a DETECTIVE! YOU need to be honest! YOU DO!
…and Bravo set the gay rights movement back twenty years by sicking a gay muppet in a terrible wig onto our TV screens.
This is why the Boy Scouts are so damn scared.
Have you ever wondered what it would look like if Hello Kitty contracted Camille’s violent shit disease? Well, it’s the theme of Pandy’s wedding.
Pepto Dismal
Moo Goo Gay Pan is making sure all the tables look as tacky as possible while muttering shit to himself. “Dees Bevly Heel! Muss be ova top! Peepees foah eveweebody!” He’s set up different table setting options for them to choose on the tennis court.
Kyle is taking her mommy in law for a checkup with Paul in Ad’s basement hospital. She starts messing around with all the scary contraptions. I wish she would open that ice chest behind her so Ad could be arrested for kidnapping whatever fetus she’s currently using for stem cells. Rich people tailgate too, and no child is safe.
Mauri’s mom looks 84 again. Paul really is an artist. The same way the guys who make those giant character costumes at Disneyland are artists.
Ah, Pluto. I love your weave.
We’re shown a before and after, and I don’t see much difference. In one she’s weathered and happy, in the other she’s got makeup and is happy. Is that a necklace made out of human teeth? This show is freaking me out tonight.
As Paul pokes Mauri’s mom all over her face and changes her oil, Kyle tells us that she doesn’t believe in plastic surgery. She’s not judging, mind you, she just feels that everyone should have to “play fair” with what we’ve been born with. HAHAH. Also note that taking an industrial sander to your face is not plastic surgery, it’s upkeep. I think it’s easy for hottish youngish richish skinnyesh people to not believe in plastic surgery. I don’t believe in the fire department. Until my house is burning down. She says that she won’t say never, because if she starts looking like her sister Twitch any time soon, she’ll be haunting that basement.
Brandi meets Ad at a restaurant wearing a micro mini skirt and a face full of hooker. I wonder if she ever goes to PTA meetings and sticks to those plastic classroom seats. The waiter approaches, and with an apologetic tone, asks if they want him to bring them… food. LOL. They order a mini pizza to share, but make sure the waiter agrees to bend it up first. Ad’s face may look like a thirty something year old pencil eraser, but her jaw is like 90. The waiter obliges without even the slightest “I’ve gotta get out of this fucking town” eye roll. When I waited tables here, my customers would ask why I was always smiling. They figured I was the most positive person alive, but I was just constantly laughing on the inside.
Brandi wants to throw a party, but she is divorcing a B Lister and can’t fit all the ladies in her room at the Best Western. Fortunately, she knows a rich chick who wants to be on TV, so she’s gonna host at her place in Malibu. There will be a belly dancer, so Kyle can’t get all offended about blowjobs. She’ll probably change her stance on plastic surgery, though. Nothing like a belly dancer to turn you into an advocate for lipo.
Poor thing needs to go back to Lebanon to feel thin again.
Brandi plans on inviting everyone, but Ad worries that things between Camille and Failor might get ugly. Brandi smiles big. She’s not gonna have a boring ass party. Besides, if Fail starts throwing shit and Camille starts shitting shit, it’s not B’s house anyway. Let’s do this!
Kyle’s having a Cinco de Mayo party because Mauri is “very proud that he’s Mexican.” Nothing like celebrating your Mexihood with a bunch of old white people who use your people to landscape their mall houses for under minimum wage. Viva la revolucion! His mom will be showing off her new/same face for the first time, and Portia is her first victim.
Loog ad meee! Do I loog preeteeee?
If I was older I’d be making a Driving Miss Daisy reference right now. But I’m not, so I’ll just give you “please never take me to the scary lady’s basement” face.
Portia might also look scared because Grandma’s hanging out with the hideous monster that hides under her bed at night.
Over dinner, Kyle mocks women who have had so much plastic surgery that they can’t move their necks, then she mocks her mother in law for her stiffness. Everyone laughs and laughs. It’s super rudely funny, and I laughed too. I just wish she’d say something like that to Failor so we could watch a season long fight about it. She talks about how stupid she acted when Mom in law did her Fonzie impression on the operating table….
Heeeeeey! Richieeeeee!
…while Mom in law says that she knows her surgery was a success because she can’t see any difference. Um, I think that means you got ripped off, hon.
Lisa and Ken are over at Sur to check out their addition remodel. Lisa is working extremely hard this season to do nothing fun on the show. The bathroom door is on the wrong wall, which means that the customers enter, see a beautiful place and then a toilet. She doesn’t think anyone wants to see someone sitting on the toilet when they’re coming to eat, and she calls the situation “Pandora’s Box”, which makes me wonder if Pandy has a problem with pooping with the door open. It also makes me wonder why Lisa named her that. Is Plague just not catchy enough?
Lisa gets pissed when her contractor responds to her complaining by telling her she looks fabulous. LOL. She says she wants a contractor, not an ass kisser. Why not have both? It’s called manners, ya bitch! Plus, he’s hot so you’re supposed to be nice to him. There were rules in this town before you arrived, and one that’s been set in stone since Los Angeles was named is that you have to be nice to pretty people who work out. DEAL.
Adrienne has just received a big box of fugly Paymore shoes to pimp on camera, so she makes a scene with Paul about wanting him to walk the dogs. He says Jackpot is a lame ass and won’t walk. It’s like he’s that bald ass Giggy or something. She says that’s the point.
B has invited Twitch to her party, but Twitch is like umno. “You don’t exist. Why would I go to your party?” Your invisible friend Crystal doesn’t exist, and you have no problem partying with her. I love that Kim can even make me laugh just folding laundry. She’s a talent. A twitchy, disturbing talent.
Camille’s in a limo with her friendployees DD and The Big One talking about how she likes Brandi because they’ve both been through soooooooo muuuuuuuch. She’s nervous about seeing Failor and Lisa, but she hopes to smooth things after her year of things being sooooo haaaaaaaard. It’s hard for you? DD’s wearing a handmedown from when your surrogate was peggers. That’s hard. Cam doesn’t know how things got to be this dramatic. I’m just taking a stab at this, but it might be because
You’re an ASSHOLE.
Scary music plays while Failor puts on makeup. It’s never been more appropriate.
Aaaaaaaaagh!
Fail tells us that Cam has texted her and stuff, but she’s not even ready to consider accepting an apology from that skank. Revealing her abuse was supposed to be her sweeps episode and Camille ruined it. Did someone tell her this was going to be a bowling party?
Fail picks up Kyle in a rented limo (EMBARRASSING). They’re going together and promise to have each other’s backs, and Fail whips out a bottle of two buck chuck and fake laughs that it’s sad that they always have to have their backs watched in the BH. It might be because you’re always starting crap. If I was Kyle I would offer to watch Fail’s back too. Her front is waaaay harder to watch. Fail says that she is completely disgusted by Camille. Kyle looks out the window and resists the urge to ask Fail if she’s really being abused or just working really hard at an A storyline.
Meanwhile, Camille is telling her friendployees that Fail dragged her into a bs argument so she accused her of lying about being abused. DD shouts about what a bitch Fail is, and in the other limo, Fail is laughing about how she’s probably going to just follow her feelings tonight, ie: make an ass out of herself again. YAAAAY!
Brandi’s not going into this party unarmed. She’s got a gaggle of friends there to stick up for her and giant, giant, giant rock hard nipples. Good lord woman. That looks like a really desperate sad lonely coat rack.
Fail and Kyle arrive, but before they go in Fail wonders why everyone wanted her to find her voice and now they’re all telling her to shut up. Your voice is horrible. Shhhh. Whoever told you to find your voice should lose theirs in some horrible karmic accident. When she walks in, Cam poos a little on the couch. Damn Thai food.
Cam goes straight up to Fail, says sorry, and hugs her. Fail grabs her super tight and won’t let go. Then it just gets creepy, like she’s trying to feel Cam’s heartbeat through her back to test whether or not she’s a zombie.
Waiiiiit. Almost done. Hold on…almost there……I think you swallowed gum in the fifth grade. I can hear it bouncing around in there.
She finally lets Cam go and then makes a big show of how disappointing the hug was. LOL. This is one looney bitch.
Fail tells us she felt no emotion from the hug so she thinks it was just fake. Meanwhile, she’s still miming extreme disappointment and being really fake.
You know she’s mad, cuz she’s turned Asian again.
Textytextyfakefakesuckyfuckyfivedolla
DD saw the hug and smiles at Cam. “That was nice!” Camille gives her a “didn’t you see what just happened you dumb slut? What do I PAY you for? Give me back my surrogate’s dress” face.
Brandi is telling a friend how hot and wonderful Kyles’ husband is. This leads Kyle into an impersonation of an Arabian horse, for some reason.
Raaar!
The ladies sit around bragging about their horrible shoes to each other. Kyle says it’s a wedge/no bra party. Hehehe. She can’t help herself, that one. Once she’s said it, she can’t stop commenting on the nips. Brandi knows they’re mocking her and just ignores it. Camille says nipples are in this season. It’s not 2009, when ladies were having their nipples surgically removed to fit in at rented beach houses.
Belly dancing time!! It’s disturbing on many levels. I could post five hundred pics for you to be horrified at, or I could just choose the best. DD’s arm wobbling while Brandi limps and gyrates her headlights.
Kyle is jumping around, disco dancing, and refusing to listen to the instructor. With Kim, she’s the responsible one. Without Kim, she’s just a sad attention whore with carpet lint on her hooha.
The floor needed a good dry vacuum.
Brandi cheers “that’s why she’s married!” HA. She tells us that Kyle is used to getting attention and doesn’t seem to ever want to give it up. “…ever.” Bran starts getting annoyed, and Kyle is still making fun of her nips. She whips out a lazer beam and points them out. “Your high beams were on anyway!” She’s so rude. I hope she never grows up.
Bran says that her parents were hippies and “we were always naked.” Wow. I saw my mom naked once and I still wanna throw up every time I pass a bush. I won’t even let my dog pee on those things. Afros also scare me. Point is, Kyle doesn’t give a crap, and has fun with her Brandi chew toy. The funny thing is, these women are really similar. They’re both “honest”, or as we’d say in Texas, “rude”, they’re both loud to the point of being offensive, and they’re both funny without even knowing why. Kyle doesn’t have much more to say about B’s nips, but while we’re miming…
Fail is getting zero attention, but she is getting drunk. She sulks off outside, but no one follows her. Kyle and Ad belly dance at the window, which is a pretty good sign that they don’t want you to start your bs right now, but she avoids them. Since no one comes out, she goes back in, sits at the bar, and says, with Camille right next to her, that she is really mad because she can’t trust her. God she’s so fucking stupid. DD agrees, and starts getting mad. She says she’s pissed and she’s going for a Christmas bonus this year, so she’s gonna stick up for her boss. Brandi and her friends agree to have Cam’s back, which puts Fail against six or seven extras. She really sucks at this.
DD approaches her and says that she wants the drama to stop, and Cam was uncomfortable about Fail trying to drag her into the fight with Lisa. Fail starts fake sobbing and says that Cam didn’t have to ruin her Winter Sweeps storyline, and she’s not ok with it. Sob tearless sob sob. Camille put her daughter in danger! Huh? How? Cuz now people will be calling her dad a wife beater, I would guess. But isn’t that Fail’s fault for hinting at it all year and telling everyone within earshot about it? And how does it not “put her in danger” to get wasted at her bday party and dance on the table, or be photographed partying wasted all over town after her husband’s death? Cam says, with thick “don’t fuck with me” eyeliner and bedhead, that Fail is the one who put her kid in danger, and I agree. Which makes me sick to my stomach.
Fail goes on about how she’s stood up for Cam a lot, and DD says that Cam has stood up for her too. Fail stops the fake sob immediately and says “Not THIS time.” She’s like the goddamn homeless guy who yelled at me today for not giving him change. I said “come on. I give you money all the time. I don’t have any today.” He said “I take mastercard.” So scratch that. Fail is like the homeless guy who yelled at me today, minus the sense of humor and the face made out of skin.
Lisa is having a drink with Ken, saying she didn’t go to Brandi’s party because Kyle told her it was going to center around a blowjob class. HAHAHA. Methinks Kyle didn’t want Lisa there. Ken says “Maybe I should have gone”, which is really gonna help with those gay rumors I started. He says they need to hurry and finish dinner so she can get him home and prove to him that she doesn’t need bj classes. “It’s not your birthday, dahling.” HAHAHAHAH. He laughs and they walk to their table as people pass out in their wake. If someone could find a way to power vehicles with silent farts, Ken would be the new Green Economy.
Back to the party. Fail is telling DD that Camille practically shot Kennedy in the face. DD is trying to calmly stick up for Cam, and says that she was crying hysterically after the fight with Fail. Fail doesn’t care, cuz she’s still crying hysterically. It’s only hysterical cuz it’s tearless. Otherwise it’s just sad. DD starts getting pissed, because Fail won’t listen and says “Camille’s not cool.” HAHAH. Cam inches into the convo, because it’s loud enough now for the rent a driver outside to hear. Fail looks at her and snaps “OUTSIDE”, like Cam just shat on the couch. Which she might have.
DD, like she’s scolding one of Cam’s outsourced babies, says “that’s not the way to do it!” Fail, finally losing it, tells DD to mind her beeswax and that if Cam wants to talk to her she can ask nicely. Meanwhile, Cam is standing outside like she was told wondering what the f is going on. “Camille, would you like to speak to me?” Cam nods and asks what’s up. “Then you can ask!” HAHAHAHAH!!! She’s trying to block DD from going outside, but she’s refusing to go outside too. Maybe the plan is to freeze Camille?
Kyle points out the obvious, that everyone (Fail) is wasted, which isn’t helping. The ladies all gather around Fail, chanting “FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!”, so naturally Fail starts horsey face laughing like she’s Julia Roberts finally getting a rich dude who shoves gerbils up his butt at the end of Pretty Woman. Then she pretends to jump over the ledge, laughing like a loon, while everyone freaks out. Suicide is no laughing matter, Failor. Well, not all the time. The ladies get her over to a table, and Camille just stands there calm as Frasier’s wiener after a week of marriage and says “I hate drama.” HEHEHEH.
DD walks away, and one of the extras starts going on about “Look at the ocean! It’s so big! Life is so short!” For some it’s shorter than others, ya hag. Make sense or get the hell out of the way. Thankfully, that bs pop psy poo makes DD mad. She then freaks out and shouts/fake cries that she’s sick of seeing her boss go through crappy situation after crappy situation and Fail needs to cut the shit and be her friend. Then Fail screams and starts crawling over the table “You have no idea what she did to me! You have no idea what she did to me!!!” AHAHAHAHAHAH! WHAT A DUMB CRAZY HO FACE! I am laughing out loud a lot tonight. Best abuse comedy on TV.
Fail screeches louder and louder and throws her points in DD’s face like punches. DD keeps yapping back like a sad little chihuahua, and Brandi gets in her face and tells her to fuck off. HAHAH!! Ad shouts at Fail that everyone has problems and this isn’t how to deal with them. Fail screeches even louder (the whales are now mating in the background) about how it’s not FAAAAIR! She screams “Bring her to me!!!” Oh lord. This would be sad if it wasn’t so awesome. Yet another breakdown. Pathetic. Brandi’s over this shit. She gave up blowjob lessons to make these women happy, and this harpy is ruining everything. She has no idea what went down between Cam and Fail, but she knows that she has a transgendered Mister Ed waking up the rent a neighbors and ruining everything, so she asks Fail to leave! HAHAHAHAH!!! Ok. I officially love Brandi now.
Kyle is shocked and shouts that Brandi is rude! Says the woman who openly mocked the hostess of the party in front of all her friends, ruined the belly dance lesson to get some airtime, and is now cheering on her wackadoo friend to ruin said party even more. And how is it not rude to scream, yell, fake cry and shout “YOU’RE DEAD TO MEEEEE!” at a dinner party?
Kyle gets her finger in B’s face, and B starts squealing like Beeker getting gang raped at a truck stop. Her finger is now in Kyle’s face, and Kyle tells her to never touch her again or she’ll regret it! Brandi continues to squeal, which is smart because now that the spotlight is no longer on her fake ass sobs, Fail wants out. She storms out of the house, followed by Kyle. Ad runs out to reprimand them, but they’re ignoring her. Woops. Forgot Fail’s purse. HAHAH. I’m leaving! No wait. NOW I’M LEAVING. She even fails at storming out. As they come back into the house, the nutty “the ocean is big” extra says “Y’all are embarrassing yourself by losing control. We’re an evooooolved speeeeecies!” Not on this channel, honey. Bravo makes an evolution chart look like a “Where Are They Now?” special.
Meanwhile, DD is still ranting and raving to Camille and saying over and over again how much she loves her. Yikes. Single White Friendployee in Hand Me Downs. Camille punches her time card, but DD won’t stfu. The regular cast members all leave, and now Brandi’s crying.
Your party was an embarrassment to humanity. I think that means you fit in perfectly. Welcome to the cast!
Kyle’s still acting like a drunk fucking fool in the rentalimo. She’s shouting that she wants a lighter. Then she starts screaming. Then her veins pop out of her head and she screamsqueals until the driver pulls over and gives her a smoke. She starts fakesobbing more and Kyle tells her that this is unimportant and there must be other things she’s sobbing about. Duh. Bitch is crazy. I hope Fail goes home, washes her rubber, and chills to a nice movie.
The episodes get more and more horrifying by the week, and I laugh harder and harder. It’s sad, but it’s also time people stopped using their baggage like airtime currency. If you don’t want your kid to be embarrassed, stop being such a fucking embarrassment. Because the epi is over and I can’t let go, please enjoy this montage of Failor’s crazy ass. See you guys next time!
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Taylor is not lying about the abuse allegations. Both Russell’s ex wife and ex-girlfriend had restraining orders against him and he pleaded guilty to battery in 1997. Russell also physically abused his son Aiden. Here’s a link.
http://www.realitytea.com/2011/08/03/rhobh-russell-armstrongs-abusive-past-revealed-two-restraining-orders-by-exes/
I guess I’m bias toward Taylor as I grew up with a very physically abusive father. I feel for her. 99% of men who abuse their wives abuse their children as well. That’s just how it is. I’m sure Russell probably physically abused Kennedy as well even if it was only a couple of times.
Also, Camille’s friend DD clearly has problems. I was embarrassed for her.
Haven’t read the recap yet – have the show DVR’d so sure I will comment later, but wanted to put another spin on the above. Two sides to every story (and not necessarily conflicting ones). If this is in any way true, Shana/Taylor is more heinous than we even imagined.
http://stoopidhousewives.com/2011/12/05/real-housewives-of-beverly-hills-shanalynettehughestaylorfordarmstrong-taylor-armstrong-and-bravo-get-russell-off-rhobh/
If Realitytea says that RadarOnline says that Barbara Armstrong says that Russel blackened both her eyes then… I guess I have to believe it.
I’m sick of this “abuse” story line. Whether it really happened or not lets be honest, that Thing went on a reality show, and told ALL her cast mates, people that aren’t real friends of hers, that her husband beats her. Do actual abuse victims join television shows and blab to practical strangers about their situations? Because I have a very hard time believing they do! She realized last season that she wasn’t a favorite, so this manipulating bitch decided to make herself an abuse story line. She’s mad at Camille for saying it? PLEASE, she was pretty much begging for someone to bring it up and she’d end up the victim/hero and THANK GOD people are smart enought to see through all her bullshit. If I have to see one more episode of that ugly reptile hybrid attempt to cry and get the most attention I myself will turn violent and smash my TV screen.
And Vyle, jealousy ages you, “know that”. Just take a look at Tamara from OC, her jealousy of Gretchen made her look like a haggard old bitch by the time that season ended. Why care if Brandi is braless around a bunch of other women? I know her being Paris’s Aunt has been brought up too much,but seriously, what’s with the prudish attitude towards Brandi?? Im sure Vyle has no problems when Paris goes braless and everybody is subjected to those horrible square top playtex nipples of hers.
Not sure if this was mentioned about the last episode but when Taylor was outside the bathroom and Camille walked out and they said they were just in the bathroom. Why are there so many bathroom breaks? Methinks there are drugs involved in these situations. I really think that a few of the ladies are getting a bump here and there during these “bathroom breaks”.
They keep blaming it on alcohol but when are they ever just the funny I love you drunks. They are ALWAYS the confrontational emotional drunks.
I had money on the title of this recap being: “when Friendployees Attack.” Hilarious as always Flipit, couldn’t wait to read the recap this AM.
Another interesting Dr. Drew crossover – Brandi’s “friend,” Jennifer (the one pictured hugging her in the recap) is the director of the sober living house in Celebrity Rehab/Sober House (or whatever it is called). Makes me wonder if the house was the sober house itself.
Fail is disgusting. Kyle is mean. Kim is nucking futs. Lisa is boring. Adrienne is self-absorbed. Camille is an asshole (but I like her this season). Brandi is useless. There, Flip. I have already written your recap for next week! You’re welcome.
I noticed Jen (Jenna?) who was introduced at the party was in Dr. Drew’s rehab show. She was the monitor in the half-way house. She was an ex druggy and took a lot of physical abuse from other celebs. Maybe this was a start of an introvention for Kim. With the latest news looks like she needed it.
My favorite line came from Ad “We need to get her (Taylor) out of here and home where she’ll be safe.” HAHA
Abuse storyline IS getting old. Taylor’s freakout is childish. She complains to friends about the abuse but does nothing to improve the situation but redirect her anger toward Cam. What will her book be about? How to withstand beatings until your husband plays Tarzan. I do agree with Vyle there is more to her pain (like money problems and fake names) than just Cam’s comment.
Still love Lisa, and think Kyle is juvenile.
Brandi is in big trouble with Miss Andy for throwing out Taylor before the confrontation could really start.
Also, just what was it that Ad desperately did not want Taylor to say during her ‘melt down’? I’ve never seen Adrienne get this involved during a fight – but to physically shut Taylors mouth not once but twice in order that she not say something that she ‘would regret later’….well, color me intrigued.
Kyle is so, so jealous of Brandi. That in itself is bad, but to ruin the belly dancers instruction was beyond rude. I can only hope Brandi wears that white dress braless in front of Mauricio in the near future. Maybe at Kyles white party?
Taylor is a liar. To have these huge public meltdowns at every get together that oddly don’t seem to include tears is just horrible. It must be exhausting to be around her. Kyle looked like she was judging the benefits of staying in the limo with Taylor versus throwing herself out the window. And when Kyle has had enough of someones theatrics, you know it’s bad.
Did anyone catch the WWHL with Taylor?
If Paul ever invents some kind of plastic surgery or treatment for hands, dude is gonna be loaded. I cant help but notice every single week that these bitches have ugly old looking hands. except for kyle, who has ugly, old looking man hands.
and speaking of hands, where did that giant disembodied hand come from that lit taylor’s cigarette? that was creepy.
i really wish i knew what taylor was about to say to adrienne before she got ad’s old lady paw clamped down on her duck mouth. Whatever it was, methinks Ad didnt want it announced.
Best part of the episode was seeing Kim make her 10 second appearance-sitting on her dryer with a littls china plate of cheetos. You stay klassy, Kim.
Haven’t read the recap yet just the comments as I knew they’d be on fiyah! AMEN @ Poopsicle, A-bloody-men! On to reading…
Kim: rumor alert. She checked herself into rehab last night.
Kyle: I love how she tweets disclaimers before each episode airs. At she she recognizes she is vile.
Fail: She is hilarious. I can’t take her serious.
Brandi: Love her!!! She doesn’t back down or butt kiss. Gotta love it.
Adriene: Blah. Not feeling her this season.
Lisa: Love. Can’t wait for the reunion. I’m sure Kyle is already planning her apologies for all the smack she talked.
For those who still insist on believing Taylor’s story of domestic abuse, ask yourself this question:
If Russell was really abusing her would he have ever consented to going along with this storyline? I think the answer is “no”.
Cannot imagine him knowingly going alone with this since his business and personal integrity would be attacked particularly when his own children would also witness this crime.
She made it up for the screentime it gave her and it wasn’t until the series was ready for viewing that he discovered how far she went to become a “star”. Pitiful.
I thought Taylor’s Very Special Episode of wwhl would be filled with fake tears and sad music. But no, party in Andy’s house with Taylor relishing the spotlight. I would think as an experienced con woman she would at the very least play this through. Vile just doesn’t seem like a strong enough word.
Flipit – funny and fresh! I heart your recaps and knew this one would be great…
Taylor – seriously, fuck off. Abuse or no abuse, how is your behavior not a detriment to your daughter? I would have loved to found your voice first, taken it outside my driveway, ran over it, picked up what is left, burned it, had a dog pee on it,then shoveled it down a sewer. I bet my way was better than listening to your shrieky performance last night.
Kyle – I am torn. She is vile, but sometimes funny vile. But really, when is that heiffa going to get over titty McGee? And Flipit, where was our scrrenshot of Marisco’s butt in those pants?
Kim: just watching her fold and eat cheetos was refreshing. She wasn’t talking to them!
Lisa: OMG, Pandy’s wedding is going to be gayer than Christmas. And Flipit? Moo Goo Gay Pan? BWHAHAHAHAHA!!! You kmow, for a network with gay sensibilities, the Housewives’ gays do make you long for the days of the butch guys on “Queer Eye for the Straight guy”. Yes, the contractor was pretty, but Lisa’s response was correct. He didn’t even have a wife beater shirt on or his shirt unbuttoned. I can’t hear ass kissing comments as your clothes are blocking the sound, dahling!
Adrienne – all I think of when I look at her is are you going to help Frodo find the ring or you just going to keep thrusting those hooker heels at us? But I am impressed, she has managed to keep from being thrown into a limo drunk off her ass.
Camille – damn you! Why do I like you now? You are an asshole who hires unsightly disheveled women as friends. But I am aboard the asshole express and loving the view.
Brandi – honey, ya tried. But the minute you walked into the party with your non-fake perky boobs, you were doomed. I am surprised you didn’t feel a tug at your hair or feel one of Adrienne’s rings rub against your skin. Those bitches will harvest you in minute.
To the caterers – sorry about the vast amount of food left.
To the extras…I mean…girlfriends…try to remember that we can see this in HD and there is no need for to get that close to the camera.
Kyle is so jealous of Brandi! It would be funny if it wasn’t so damn sad and desperate. She is afraid that her friends might like her so she tears her down in front of them. I would love for Brandi to wear that dress to Kyle’s white party! Kyle would have meltdown of epic proportions. For all her “happy marriage” talk, I bet she is terrified that someone younger will one day steal Maurico. It also makes me wonder if she isn’t aware that he has dipped his pen in some strange ink from time to time.
I love Brandi. She should be a regular housewife.
Taylor… man could she be more obvious with the camera hogging? This show has become painful to watch! I wish they would have just cut her and Russell out completely. I read both of the articles above. That stuff about his son being ignored at the birthday party was so sad. I have seen women like that who get off on humiliating their step children. I can’t say it enough… Taylor is the one who always looks and acts like the abuser. Russell looks like he is bullied by her into doing things her way. Sad.
Thanks for another great recap, Flipit.
Ok did anyone pick up on Vyle’s passive aggressive line in her interview regarding the party?
“With the amount of wine that was served…” Bitch, please. You’re all grown adults and you should all know when to shut it down. Don’t blame anyone else but yourself. Drink responsibly, no?
The Ocean woman was Bruce Jenner’s Ex-wife (God help me if any of those K-word bitches infiltrate this show) And Jennifer Jiménez of Sober House was there (hugging Brandi at the end). They both seemed to be [relatively] in control of themselves. I cannot stand Vyle, she is so rude, hypocritical, condescending, arrogant and just a plain bitch. What in the hell does Mauri see in her? Talk about acting, Vyle should get herself an Emmy for pulling off a 17 year marriage to that man. I too hope Brandi wears that dress to Vyle’s White party, bubbies out and all! Vyle can fuck off in my book.
I am SO over Failor. This shit show is ridiculous, and we’re only seeing the re-edited version. Who in their right mind (ok ok, I know) at Bravo would’ve thought this show, pre- Russell’s suicide, would have been fit to show the viewer’s without editing? Yes these fights are EPIC but please, how far these rich bitches have fallen from last season as the franchise’s darlings. Fucking GROSS.
“Kyle gets her finger in B’s face, and B starts squealing like Beeker getting gang raped at a truck stop.” I just about went into cardiac arrest after reading that. lmao.
the “evolved species” extra is Linda Jenner, Brody’s Jenner’s mom. her children and their step siblings are such shining examples of what an evolved species we are…
I’m really liking Brandi. Not only do I feel sorry that her husband left her but she was really upset that her party was ruined. She has pegged Kyle to a T. She’s one of those women who always needs all the attention in the room. And, she’s ALWAYS pushing her wonderful marriage to Mauricio in everyone’s face but when someone complements her one she hisses to “Watch it, Bitch!” I can’t add anything else to your comments about her BS about the nipples. Friggin’ grow up already.
What was more offensive/tacky, Brandi’s nips or a middle aged woman that has bladder leakage doing splits on the carpet?
Or, Vyle point at the nips with a lazer pointer?
A. Does she just carry that around to point out things she thinks suck?
B. How efn juvenile. Did production set that up?
Lazer pointers are for cats to chase, which is hysterical. Or, for middle school kids who have found the joy in pointing them at the teacher in class resulting in having it taken away and getting detention.
Either way Vyle is a FAIL!
Laser pointers are also fun to point in people’s eyes and watch them try and bat the light away. Classic!
Ha! Nice Classy! Agreed.
Does it seem odd to anyone else that an violent, abusive husband would allow his wife to be actively involved over an extended period of time in an organization that fights domestic violence? Wouldn’t the other people involved in that organization, who would be a huge source of support for his wife, be a HUGE threat to him?
@crankyguy, or how about this? Most abusers try to alienate you from family and friends. So what’s with Russell always letting Taylor out of the cage.
OR.. The he would agree to have their marriage counciling be taped for the entertainment of the bravo audience.
I am not sold on the abuse storyline or she is abusive toward him too, but know we will never know his side.
Good point crankyguy!
@Gypsy, you’re right about the laser pointer, what a twat.
Taylor sucks. I can’t even begin to talk about how extraordinarily disgusting and hypocritical I find her attention/fame-whore mongering to be.
I’m even more disgusted that I actually like Camille this season and think Kyle’s a backstabbing two faced bitch.
Clearly I’ve entered an alternate reality. Happy fucking holidays.
Oh how I love that word! Thank you for dropping it Poopsicle!
Man, I can feel the rage radiating off of my screen from this thread.
No that anyone really cares but where was Dana during this shit show?
Was Fail on that freakin’ WWHL show right after this episode? I was going to say I bet she skips the reunion, because how can you laugh off this latest Chernobyl-style meltdown, but if she’s still putting her mania out there, I guess she just doesn’t care.
For that matter, will Kim show up? And when asked about drugs/not drugs/rehab, will she just be allowed to label it “personal” and duck the question?
Haven’t finished reading yet Flipit, but I must ask – what is so embarassing about renting a limo? Color me confused.
I was going to write a bunch of paragraphs giving my opinion on the abuse issue, but instead I’ll just say that I love Flipit for making me laugh. “Moo Goo Gay Pan”. Awesome!
She was on it, I watched it and her pool noodle lips fake quivering when she talked about how ‘misunderstood’ domestic violenceis.
That twat gives those who have been through real domestic violence an even tougher hill to climb. UGH.
someone asked what Mauricio see’s in Vyle. well, he is a realtor with Hilton and Hyland. that’s his brother in laws company. nuff said.
@ Diane Marie, but he still isn’t the richest in Beverly Hills or the luckiest IMHO.
Taylor is such a wannabe Kyle is so fake maybe she so mad because her marriage isnt as good as it looks like all the younger women in LA and her hubby is fine thats why she is so mad at younger more desireable women she is gross and lying like she has never had anything done to her face get real I like Brandi she is real Ms. Gammer was scared that Taylor was going to put her on front street with Lisa which I like more than the rest Ad is a fame whore who must have really hated herself to mess up her face like she has I really liked her last season but after trying to pick a fight with Lisa for camera time and going out a getting a little dog nonesense come on your all ready rich have some class and be thankful for the life God has already blessed you to have WHY do you need the fame that is the worst drug known to man right now WOW
LMAO! Hang in there, Failor!
Oh flipit, I love your recaps! You guys make my day!
Vyle was in some Lifetime movie this past weekend and was locked in a freezer by her friend and died. It was the only part I saw, but it was AWESOME!
Watch the whole thing trkaelin. Deadly Sibling Rivalry was the name. There was limited football on this weekend, so I had some free time.
Some people who live in the same house hit each other. You shouldn’t hit people. It’s a problem. I understand domestic violence just fine.
I don’t need Taylor Armstrong to ‘splain it to me.
@Gypsy actually Dana said on her blog that she was hurt because Brandi did not invite her to the party. LOL
@No papi not my telemundo- what a name! Nice, and thanks for the Intel, ‘preciate ya.
Wah! Dana, my sunglasses cost $25k’s feelings were hurt b/c she didn’t get invited to the belly dancing party that was already done by RHONJ in the house that LC and Jason rented in Malibu, the summer LC decided not to go to Paris.
What a doofus famewhore. No wonder she’s Failor friend.
I’m going go get Chiquita.
I understand domestic violence just fine.
That reminds me of being asked by a grocery store cashier to donate one dollar to breast cancer awareness. I declined, saying that I reckoned everybody is already aware of breast cancer. What I should have said is, “Breast cancer? What the heck is that?”
I stopped watching anything Bravo but still read your recaps, Flipit. I find it hard to believe that these people will put all this out there with absolutely no consideration for their children. Rotten, rotten folks….all of them. Taylor seems to be seriously disturbed, I mean she makes Kelly Bensimmon look like the poster girl for mental health. I feel very sorry for her child, she really doesn’t stand a chance.
My parents were hippies and we were naked all the time so that’s why I wear sheer material tops that allows my hippie nipples to be free.
Pass the Cheetos.
Did you all hear what Taylor said Kennedy asked when they got to the house? “did daddy do somehting stupid?” Taylor claims that is what Kennedy asked when Taylor found out he was dead. Really? You are going to put that sentence out there you POS Whorebag?!?! Kind of wish she would have jumped over the railing lastnight. I am sure the sand would have broken her fall! Its not like that house was right over the water. I have had enough. ENOUGH of that trash!
I wonder if anyone has ever told Taylor to STFU!!!!!!!! Brandi was absolutley correct in booting her ass, she should have done it sooner. I don’t understand why Camille would even talk to her, she should have gone in the other room and ignored her.
COCK?
I step away from the kb for 2 secoonds and I miss..
Oh Shit! Classy you are #49. I hope I get cock..
COCK!
When Taylor had that cig in the limo I realized she had gone outside for a cig when the whole thing started and then, I guess, got too embarrassed to smoke it with everyone staring at her out of the window. So the whole meltdown was 90% nicotine jonesing. Which totally cracks me up.
When Jennifer looked appalled after all the bitches left, my daughter and I burst out laughing. I mean, this woman has dealt with Steve Adler, Andy Dick, and Dennis Rodman. But that appalled look was genuine.
Robinez…I hope I get cock too! (ifyaknowwhatimean)
I squealed when I saw Jennifer. I also immediately began praying for her. Poor girl. I think I’d rather be in the room with Steve Adler and Mike Starr’s tweakin’ corpse than Fail.
If I every had a shred of hope for Vyle, it was squashed like Fail’s attempt to tell of Adrienne last night. Seriously, she wants to dog on Brandi (whom I now AAAAAAAAAAAADOOOOOOOORE) for shining the high beams at a girl’s night out party when Fail did the same thing AT A KID’S PARTY? Well…er….what was SUPPOSE to be a KID’S PARTY?? Girl please.
Did ya’ll notice the sly little smiles that appeared on Camille’s face whenever she turned away turning Fail’s tantrum? Season 1 Camille isn’t far from the surface. And I’ma say DD skert me a bit near then end when she was all bawling and grabbing Camille and “I’LL NEVER LET YOU GO, JACK, I’LL NEVER LET YOU GO!”
Get well quick, Kim Cheeto, we miss you.
Stay evolved, ya’ll. Flipit, you rock.
DURING Fail’s tantrum. Not turning. Sorry. Going to look at the ocean.
I must be getting old if I am the only person who recognizes Linda Thompson not as the ex-wife of Bruce Jenner (who cares) but as Elvis’ girlfriend at the time of his death. And P.S. I am so tired of weak women who stay with allegedly abusive men. We’re either equal or we’re not, ladies. You can’t be equal and then claim you’re too scared/weak/poor/afraid to leave and get your kid away from an abuser. It makes me sick.
TWhit! Yes! I saw Camille’s sly looks as she sashayed past all the chaos screeching in her wake. She was definitely fanning the fire while reveling in the sheer horror of it all. Camille’s an asshole. But a very smart one that has become much more tempting to watch this season.
@sheesh, Iknowwhatyoumean.
I don’t mind taking turns getting COCK!. I will share next time and not just jump out and grab it.
I don’t know… I mean, I think Camille is an asshole just as much as the next guy (though admittedly I do love her this season!), but to me those little smiles looked like discomfort and nervousness. So either she didn’t quite know how to handle Fail’s raving lunacy or that thai sweet chili sauce was going through her like wildfire.
Oh I forgot to say…. COCK!
Camille actions are like a silent farter that runs away quickly after making the fart, before the scent has had a chance to permeate fully, and then walks back in the room a few moments later, when everyone has their noses all scrunched up. She comes in all innocent-like, “Oh my, it does smell in here, doesn’t it?” And since everyone was smelling the stench after she left but before she came back into the room, she doesn’t get blamed for it. It was very convenient the way she set things up. Her friend says all the things she wants to say, but later, the friend will get blamed while she does that cheshire cat smile thingy on the sly. It was so reminicent of the Allison debacle. Allison comes screaming to Cam’s defense and ruins her career, Partricia Arquette’s career and turns people away from communicating with the dead. Cam is still an asshole, and whether Taylor was abused or not–not seeing any bruises is NOT an indication of no abuse taking place. That ignorant thought is a big problem for woman who claim abuse (when there is) but because he is careful not to leave marks, she can’t prove it.
And Kyle is soooo ugly to me now. I can’t see any beauty anymore when I see her face. Her nasty behavior sets my teeth on edge. I find Ad to be very self-involved and therefore misses a lot of nuances and forces others to do what she wants, eventhough what she wants is misguided.
And what can I say? I like Brandi. Her boobs are nice, who cares how she dresses? And she really GETS the Richard sisters.
Wouldn’t there be bruises, marks or some other indications if her jaw was broken? And lord knows that friggin jaw is big enough to show a movie on. Not like you could miss it! Just sayin. Because, believe it or not, people DO lie about things that should be sacred. They do. And because it is such a sacred cow no one is allowed to question that person because then it is blaming the victim.
I like to start the day with a good…..COCK!
Suck on that Vyle!
@Little Debbie: If men and women ever truly became equal, Lifetime wouldn’t have plots for any movies. A lot of competitive reality shows would lose their easiest sources of “drama”. Madison Ave. could no longer fall back on traditional gender stereotypes to sell stuff. Men would get sexually harassed at work, and NO ONE WOULD DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT. The male-driven commercial construction industry would have to install more commodes in Women’s rooms, to reduce the waiting lines, and that would cut into jobs and pay raises.
Is that what you want? Is it??
@shana. I kinda like Brandi’s boobs, too. She hasn’t been around long enough for the evil to take hold in her soul and to start showing on the outside. A few of the cast members on the RH franchise are actually very pretty, but I can’t see it anymore. I can only see the nasty. And I generally enjoy a good leer. It’s disquieting, actually.
Very surprised that nobody picked up on the line of the week..At the beginning of WWHL when usually there’s that weak cheering from the tiny audience, it was totally quiet when Miss Andy was doing his intro about Failor. He looks around and says “Wow – dead room.” Brilliant
did anyone read Lisa’s blog this week? HIL-ARI-OUS!
I now understand why Russell had to off himself. If there was abuse, she was dishing it out as much (or more) than him. He’s in a much better place now. I would bet that she was threatening him with abuse accusations for the show. BTW, this comment is coming from a woman who was physically and emotionally abused when I was married. I can promise you that Taylor is not acting like any abuse victim that I’ve ever known.
Mee-Maw actually looks good for her age, face wise. Like everybody else, I can’t tell any difference between the before and after.
She would have been better off to spend her money in a good salon. Getting about 8 inches of that weave whacked off and getting a darker color that doesn’t wash out her features would work wonders, and knock about 20 years off of her.
Taylor – to quote Jeana’s (truly abusive) husband – “worst case of over-acting I’ve ever seen.” She’s truly a narcissistic personality. Hate.
Comment #66…the last sentence was priceless!
Cock!
@Flipit I knew your RHBH recap would help me recover and it did!
I think what makes it confusing about Taylor sometimes is that we’re used to thinking of abuse victims as these really nice sweet ladies that their main problem is getting away from domestic violence.
But just like it happens in all kinds of families it also happens to all kinds of people. Including people like Taylor that in addition to getting into a business marriage with an abuser also happens to be batshit crazy.
@Katie Russell had already signed the release. I don’t think any of them have any input into how scenes are edited, even when they didn’t die, so once they had the footage it was up to Bravo to decide whether and how to show any with Russell.
It’s already pretty much public record that Russell had an abuse problem and had admitted it.
From the way she goes so nuts it wouldn’t surprise me if she didn’t abuse him back some though.
My theory is that him abusing Taylor or at least most of it was supposed to come out closer to the end of the season maybe the finale. I’m not sure if Camille mentioning it was planned but I bet that is what Adrienne was trying to keep Taylor from saying when she covered her mouth up.
If I’m right that should mean Taylor gets another big meltdown scene next week!
I KNEW that was Jen from Sober House! I wish she’d had a bigger part. They should’ve let her break up the fight and calm Taylor down. Maybe called Dr Drew and Shelley in.
@gypsy I loved this right here, “So I declined Brandi’s invitation for a certain class that I have already graduated in. . .”
and of course as you said, was pure genius, “As you see Taylor extremely emotional in the car, Brandi left desolate and once again feeling excluded, and me luckily, safely tucked up in bed blissfully unaware of the battle I had missed — but battling on my own as my husband made unreasonable demands from his exhausted wife to prove what an excellent student I had once been. . .” Haha!!
I still don’t believe the abuse allegations. Even on WWHL Taylor would start ‘crying’ and then immediatly dry up and speak normally. Who can do that? I can’t – when I cry I turn a virulant shade of red, my nose runs and I sound like Laura Petrie.
I think the only truth we got from Taylor at that party was when she kept bleating “It’s not fair!”. I think she was referring to Camilles 50 million dollar divorce settlement compared to Taylors nothing but debt pay out. It must suck to be surrounded by more successful gold diggers.
If I wanted to see a bunch of overserved hags screeching at each other, I’d invite my sisters over – this is Bebly Heel, and I want to see women blowing obscene amounts of money, taking lavish trips and doing RichLady stuff, dammit!
>>>>Maybe called Dr Drew and Shelley in.
Animal Control would’ve been better. They’ve got those 8-foot poles with the loop on the end for the animal’s head.
And they’re used to dealing with distraught bitches.
I really thought DD was just dying for air time. I mean, her reaction to what was happening was SO irrational, even in that sea of irrationality. I wanted to punch her and i’m a pacifist.
The Taylor abuse thing, i still don’t know why people doubt it. So thanks Brooke, for that link, and kthxbai for reminding us that just because we have ideas of who someone might be by the things they do on Reality TV doesn’t mean we know what goes on when the cameras are not there.
And maybe Taylor seems bossy and intimidating to Russel on the show, but there are layers to abuse. And even if someone is emotionally or verbally abusive to someone, physical abuse is not an acceptable reaction.It seems to me that a very likely possibility that a man being constantly belittled by a woman (which i do not see when i watch, but i read here so many others do) may react physically against her to assert his “manhood”.
i watch this season wondering how i ever liked Kyle. She seems like a different person compared to last season. Maybe something Flipit mentioned in the photo caption is true, and Kyle needs to start hanging around her sister more in order for her own behavior to become more palatable.
When it comes to abuse, there are many layers. I don’t think Russell attacked Taylor unprovoked, I think these were just fights where Russell always got the upper hand. (And Taylor, the uppercut.)
Based on Taylor’s proven aggressiveness (Going Olkahama, freaking out and confronting people), I can see her hysterically screaming at Russell, jumping in his face, and not backing down. Who knows..maybe she hit him first. Women are notorious for hitting and not expecting to be hit back. (Look at Rihanna. And we definitely called THAT abuse.)
Some women, Taylor included, have tried a man’s patience by becoming physical with him or invading his personal space with jabbing fingers, pushes, and shoves. Some men know when to walk away. Other’s don’t. Like Chris Brown, Russell chose the wrong door. But as Chris, convicted once, will be vilified for life, Russell was convicted several times, yet will only endure speculation…in death.
While both cases are probably similar, Rihanna garnered sympathy for being so well known and likable, while Taylor receives disdain for being such a self-serving bitch. But I’m sure the blows landed just the same.
sarcasatire, i agree with you and that’s what i was getting at. Just as physical abuse begins long before the first punch is thrown, many people are antagonized and provoked. I just don’t think any amount of provocation justifies hitting someone. i have seen a friend of mine hitting her (much bigger) boyfriend.i have seen a male friend of mine get slapped in the face by a girl just before she broke a glass beer mug on the wall inches away from his face. Both times the guys didn’t respond physically and both times i thought the women were completely wrong.
As a feminist it pains me when people say “a man should never hit a woman” because i believe no one should hit anyone. And even as a pacifist i believe if you put your hands on someone you should expect them to hit back, even when you are a woman and they are a man.
And if he did abuse her there is a good chance that she physically abused him too. I just don’t understand why people think she is lying about it. That is what i’m stuck on. did i miss something that made people question her or is it just because people don’t like her or what?
@Buffy – I think she is lying for many reasons. There is no evidence of it for one. No pictures, no 911 calls, nothing. There was a picture of Taylor looking sad after plastic surgery. Was it because of abuse? Was it vanity? Who the hell knows.
The other women on the show have all said that they hear Taylor talking about abuse including a broken jaw but had yet to see any bruises. They know her, they knew Russell and yet even they doubted her! Well, before Russell died anyways.
Secondly, she manipulates every situation she has been in since the beginning of the show. Remember her feud with Lisa? Taylor was telling anyone who would listen that she was afraid of Lisa, that she was worried that Lisa would kill her just because Taylor saw Cedric walking around Beverly Hills, that Lisa said she was ‘not her friend’ … hell, just substitute Russells name for Lisa and bam! you have an abused woman storyline.
I do believe that she was worried about the potential fallout when Russell watched these episodes. But lets not forget, the grieving widow had physically seperated from Russell and filed for divorce months prior to his death.
I do not see a battered woman. I see a calculating and manipulative person. I also do not believe that all women tell the truth all the time, even about horrific things such as rape, abuse, and child abductions.
I think maybe the “abuse” was mutual too. Although Taylor stopped tolerating hers when Russels money ran out and all their shitty lying stealing ways were made public. She wanted to become the one the fans felt sorry for and would root for, but it backfired BIG time.
I don’t know whether or not Taylor’s abuse accusations are true or not. What I do know is that her behavior suggests something very familiar to me. I was with my ex from 14 years of age until we married at 18 and we divorced when I was 29. No one in my family knew. I never called the police. Not until we were actually separated and he tried to choke me yet again and I broke free and actually called the police. By the time they got there he was as calm as could be while I was hysterical. Their assumption? I was lying. It’s very hard for people to wrap their minds around the fact that this does happen and usually with no outward signs. My family had suspicions because he was so verbally abusive even in front of them. I was lucky enough to get out and I have a great husband now. Something I never knew existed. I’m just not sure about Taylor. I see the signs and I’m sorry but when I look at Russell, he looks blank in his eyes. I’m sorry he killed himself but that also makes me wonder. Would someone who was innocent actually kill himself, leaving behind his little girl and other kids instead of fighting like hell to prove some big lipped skank was lying? It’s a mess but I am leaning towards believing he was abusive. Getting down off soapbox now. Carry on.
@Cherie – One of the sad things about domestic abuse is that you can never free yourself of an accusation completely because of stories like you just told. Anyone who DARES to question it is labelled as “blaming the victim.” It doesn’t matter how much Taylor’s actions have indicated her accusations are false. It doesn’t matter that there has been ZERO evidence of it. It doesn’t matter that her closest friends aren’t even suspicious of Russell’s behavior. None of it matters because Russell was accused, tried and convicted in the public arena. Nothing he could do or say could change that. NOTHING. And as he very obviously showed during both seasons, he was a shy man who was uncomfortable being on camera for the world to see. How could he ever come back from that? How could he ever again do business? Coupled with their financial troubles, I could see how that would be completely overwhelming. Now I am not saying that Russell is innocent… who knows!? But it is possible that he could be and still kill himself.
As much as you think you’ve seen it all, reality TV can still hit new lows. It’s REPREHENSIBLE that Bravo is making abuse a storyline–and manipulating the story line–and that Taylor and Dead Russel would have aired out that personal crap on Housewives. This is the direction popular entertainment is going, and the people involved are looking and acting less and less like real people every week. How can a reality player be a sympathetic figure if they’re a cartoon character?
@Wilma Fengherdu, exactly. That’s is what I am tuning in for. I don’t want to see real life problems. I want to see rich people problems.
1. Donating designer duds to charity and thinking that poor people could afford a $2000 chanel suit.
2. Trying to donate clothing but thinking that it is too fabulous for poor people.
3. Trying to one up someone who already did something. Have a better party, get better jewelery from the husband, better car, etc.
4. Be catty about all of this.
This is what I want to see.
There is a certain contingent among women’s rights advocates who say that when any woman makes an allegation of abuse or rape that she is to be believed no matter what. There are probably some of those at Taylor’s charity whose support emboldens her to go around accusing Russell to anyone who will listen, and I suppose that is what she means about having “found her voice.” The only plain fact of the matter is that nobody but Taylor knows what the truth is at this point, so all we have to go on is her word. Taylor’s word is no good as far as I’m concerned.
I think everyone is making salient points here, on all three sides: Russel’s, Taylor’s and those of us who want to watch these rich bitches throw a 30k charity event to raise 15K for cancer kids.
What I maintain is we’re seeing the EDITED VERSION. There was much a do about this from Bravo, the Armstrong family and Taylor on how this would be handled when news broke of Russel’s suicide. And, we’ll NEVER KNOW who shouted the loudest in the board room to make whatever film cuts end up on the editing room floor. I am so over this abuse shit. I agree with others who thinks Bravo is bottom of the barrel for putting this season out. I also think it’s disgusting Taylor is doing promo ads on Bravo as one of three Housewives to have a “New Year’s Eve Celebration” with. What ever happened to the grieving period?
I am not trying to skirt the issue here but, I’d much rather dish about how terrible Brandi’s clip on hair extensions were at her party. Or, as mentioned before, Lisa’s hilarious blog. Or Adrienne, face. Am I wrong for wanting to laugh at other’s expense on a show clearly made for just that? I don’t think so. I’ll take my delusions of grandeur sans the disgusting abuse story line. For what it’s worth, I think Taylor looks far more cracked out than Twitchy Kim IMHO. Just sayin’.
Also, I am not getting the random use of COCK on this thread, did I miss something?
@crankyguy agreed, I don’t think Shana is capable of telling the truth about ANYTHING! She lied her way all over last season about so much shit. I remember how she said Adrienne was Kennedy’s god mother, then at the reunion sat there with that creepy ass eager smile while Ad said it wasn’t true.
@Gypsy – The word COCK has been randomly used ever since Brandi caused all of the other housewives (and that Dana bitch) to clutch their pearls by saying it. Because, ya know, they are all so pure and all.
It is the new “I hate Teresa.”
COCK COCK COCK
Others will remember this with more detail, but at Ad’s party where Brandi’s kid peed on the grass by the pool, I think Cam was making fun of the size of Kelsey’s penis, and someone else pretended to not know what the particular word being used meant, so Brandi helpfully educated her by saying, “Cock!” Then Vyle got her panties in a wad that Brandi would dare to use such uncouth language in such high company.
Oh yeah, you are right Crankyguy. You jogged my memory. I just remembered that it was at the bbq. I think Camille said something like Big feet, big shoes, big disapointment or something like that. And Vyle asked if that was a codeword and Brandi said Cock.
And then everyone had a case of the vapors and servants came running with their smellings salts before they all swooned dead away.
HA! (And that Dana bitch!) that might be my new COCK! Hi-LARIOUS!
Thanks for reminding me gasmii, I obvi have been smoke showed by Failor’s EPIC meltodwns. It’s like I can’t remember all the other awesomely Ridickulous stuff going on. UGH!
Oh man only 9 (8!) more to go.
I feel like I’m waiting to jump in on doubledutch.
Start counting Sheesh (And that Dana bitch!)
COCK!
Yea..c’mon guys, just 6 more to go. That’s plenty of COCK to go around.
COCK!
I this this show could use some lightening up. The abuse and Taylor’s breakdowns have been so draining I can’t even watch anymore. That’s why I’m loving the Atlanta girls this season. Phaedra is hilarious, Sheree is delusional, Kim is as calm as a well fed rat, and Nene is “very rich.” Plus, they added this new girl Marlo, who you just know is itching to knock Nene down a peg or too. Throw in a Ridickulous COCK and I’d say they are the perfect palate cleanser for the depressing storyline of RHoBH.
For the love of God, Andy, give me more scenes of Kim eating cheetos off a dainty plate, polishing her picture frames, and doing her laundry rather than bombard me with close-ups of a haggard Taylor whimpering and screeching.
I’m friends with Chef bernie on FB and he says he’s been invited to the reunion where he plans on confronting Lisa on her “anti-Latin” remarks and he says he’s bringing witnesses!
Someone is going around saying that our Kimmie is homeless! Apparently moving in with Ken didn’t work out, word is they’re no longer together, and Kim has been couch surfing in the interim. Maybe she just checked into rehab for a warm bed and three meals a day. If this is true, I would hate to think Kyle wouldn’t let her sister move in. If not in her new BH digs, at least let her stay in the goddamn house you stole!
http://www.toofab.com/2011/12/06/report-kim-richards-homeless-dealing-with-serious-issues/
Kimmy, you can come crash on my couch. If you don’t mind having a toddler wake you up by repeatedly poking at your eyelids and saying “Eye..eye..eye..”
I’ll help push it up to 100, and let somebody else claim the glory of “shouting” COCK on that centesimal post.
OK, I am DYING to know what Kim is in rehab for! Does anyone have a legit or even semi-legit lead?
Cuz I’m thinking, I know they’re the Richards/Hiltons/Assholes and all but really? If she’s just drinking why not stick in the Palm Springs house SHE bought. She’s family for crying out loud. Stick her in a Hilton suite in Pomona for that matter. Does it matter? Don’t let her go all Ginger in Casino. Don’t let that child star couch surf!
But…if it is METH, (dun dun dunnnnnn) won’t she and Vyle look a mighty big fool. I’m throwing it down, I think FAILOR is Kim’s Meth dealer. Yeah I said it and I’ll say this too, COCK!
COCK!
Here is comment 99. Have at it. I gotta go home.
I’ll send out the kudos tomorrow.
100! COCK!
No way Kim can be homeless. Remember that Vyle claims that not only did she and Mauricio buy the house fair and square, but that Kim uses it more than they do, and that Kim is welcome to use it as much as she wants. Of course, what these bitches say and what they really mean can be two entirely different things.
S-Natch comes in by a COCK, For The Win!
So true Crankguy, sooooo true.
Story of my life, Gypsy! LOLOL!
I don’t believe she’s homeless either..but so many sites are reporting this from People to Perez. All credible. *rolls eyes* I jus think, when there’s smoke there’s fire. And when there’s stolen homes, people go home…less.
@Gypsy, while I sincerely wish for Kim’s full recovery, I hope it’s an outpatient program because I’ll be mad if my girl misses the reunion!
Didn’t the story go something like… Kyle and Kim were both given the house in the mom’s will. Kim needed money so she borrowed $10k or $20k against her percentage of the house. When she went to pay back the money, Kyle and Mauricio wouldn’t take it and let her be an owner on the house again. So basically they “bought” her half of a house worth probably at least a couple of hundred thousand dollars for a fraction. Yeah, if that is true, I’d say they stole her goddamn house.
Then they took the equity out of said house and used it to buy their BH manse. Crafty, Mauricio..very crafty.
Yay! S-Natch!
As far as Kyle, Kim, and the goddamn house. Kyle proves, once again, what an awesome sister she is. Yech!
Sarcas – about your toddler…you too? LOL!! When mine was a wee one, she would do that do that or have a conversation while I was sleeping. I would wake up, see her little sweet face thisclose to mine talking about something, and jump a foot back. A nap was not an easy thing to do at that stage.
And to the poster who made the great comment about what we want to see on this show…amen! We have broke ass bitches in Atlanta and botoxed mini mall heiffas in Orange County. What do they have in common? The need to screech at each other. I want to see money, money, spend, spend, spend!! It is beverly hills!!
COCK!! 107 cocks on the wall, 107 cocks…take one down, pass it around…
Camille was right, stay calm and you win. Damn, I hate that I like her this season. Brandi is my new fave simply because by throwing out Taylor, she by default threw out Kyle.
Caliguy on Taylor’s meltdown: “I’m getting a strong cocaine vibe off that one, and after 25 years in the music business, I KNOW a cocaine vibe when I see one.”
I don’t know, caligal. I still say nicotine is a hell of a drug.
Sorry All, been away for a fews days on break. Congrats to you S-natch and Obvi! I truly hope Kimmie is at the reunion as well, instead of that dumb bitch Dana and, AND I hope they do a jaw dropping COCK montage! @ Caligal. I agree, coke or meth or some kind of upper. Either way Failor is cracked out of her gourd!
Nice Maryedith, nice!
I wonder who’s going to be on what couch this year during the reunion. Will it be in three parts? Will it be Lisa, Kyle and Failor against the rest? Will Failor be joining by audio/video location only? Will Kim? Will Theresa Guidice make a surprise appearance and flip a table? These are the burning questions I want answered. Let’s just skip to the end I’ve had enough splits and fits for one season. You’ve seen one you’ve seen them all.
@sarcatire: You can’t let a junkie crash at your house. Especially if you have a child. You know they’ll steal your Tivo and your laptop to sell for drugs–that’s a given–but do you have any idea how much a healthy baby goes for on the black market? For Kim it would be like one of those cartoons: your toddler would walk by, and Kim would see a big pile of cocaine on two little legs.
slut pig…I never realized how funny that was until last night.
Each and every last one of these bitches are plastic, and UGLY as sin!! Yuck.