RHOBH Recap: Fahts, Gay Weddings, and Ohyeahrussellkilledhimself

Recaps

By Flipit | Tuesday, January 24, 2012 | 1:52 am | 44 Comments
Posted in: Featured, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Recaps

***To check out the Quick n’ Dirty Video Recap of this week’s episode, click here.

This season on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, some moron with hair almost as bad as Adrienne’s made Kyle’s ass feel like it had a normal shape, …

Mermaid Rhobh 2.20

…Lisa replaced the stick up her ass with…a stick up her ass,…

Lisa Stripper Rhobh 2.20

…Dana acted like spending twenty five grand on knock of Chanel glasses from Chinatown wasn’t one of the most embarrassing desperate pathetic moves ever,…

Dana 25,000 Sunglasses Rhobh 2.20
Do you know how many chins you could have had removed for that much dough, bitch?

….Brandi caused shit left and right and made ET feel like nasty anorexic alien legs were back in fashion,….

Screen Shot 2012-01-23 At 9.35.13 Pm

…Kyle had trouble coming up with storylines, so she whined about her sister and embarrassed herself at almost every party she attended,…

Kyle Leg Behind Ear Rhobh 2.20
Shut the beef curtains. Your sadness is shining through and waking me up.

…Kim Twitchards called people SLUTPIG, rambled about liking brands of airplanes, and started dating an ugly guy who mouth breathed all over her,…

Kim Richards And Boyfriend Rhobh 2.20

…Taylor had lots of nervous breakdowns, tried to pack herself into suitcases, and made faces that were too hideous to show here. Eh, it’s the finale. Why not? Spoiler Alert: These are NSFW:

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…and Russell made like a portrait and hung. Sad My Cons Have Caught Up to Me and My Wife Has Told the Town I’m Abusive Horns.

We open the day before Pandy’s wedding to a gay dude. Lisa worries that the wedding will be too grand. I worry that Lisa’s vagina will be limping through the service. Exercise that thing!

Lisa Stripper Pole Rhobh 2.20

Speaking of fake asses, I feel bad every time I pass this intersection. The Rodeo sign is sooooo close to getting some good tang.

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Paul and Ad are at the doctor. Hopefully, he will be able to figure out why Ad looks like a melting Indian Casino with Cameron Diaz’ spermed ‘do.

Screen Shot 2012-01-23 At 10.03.23 PmScreen Shot 2012-01-23 At 10.03.47 Pm
There’s Something About Scary

He’s there to get an ass checkup. They argue about which is the good kind of ass checkup. Paul likes upper and Ad likes lower. I like barfing up my dinner picturing these two’s cornholes. It’s like I didn’t go over my points at all. And now, to answer all of our burning question about this town, let’s find out a job in BevHills that fat people are allowed to have.

Screen Shot 2012-01-23 At 10.06.09 Pm
I may be relegated to a job no skinny person will take, but that doesn’t mean I can’t have a stupid name.

The nurse makes Paul do his own enema. LOL. He’s not ok with it. Sorry buddy. Helen would have done it if she’d stayed in Podunk, but this is Belen, and bitch has lines she doesn’t cross.

Ad knows that the butt exam is pretty risk free, but she wanted to be there anyway cuz, well, Paul’s getting something shoved up his ass and his pain makes her smile. He’s lucky she didn’t invite all their friends and use the visit to renew their vows or some shit. Paul calls her to the bathroom to help her with the enema and she storms out, pissed. HAHAHAH! I love them.

Maybe Lisa can show her how to shove her hand up her husband’s butt like she showed her how to stuff a chicken. Lord knows she’s had the practice. Why, here’s Ken now!

Screen Shot 2012-01-23 At 10.18.40 Pm
Dahling, hurry up. I need to get lunch out of you so we can have a propah dinnah.

Ken doesn’t have time to help with anything, so Pandy is left to peel labels off Charles Shaw bottles and replace them with gaudy pink I’m Marrying My Gay BF stickers herself.

Screen Shot 2012-01-23 At 10.22.23 Pm
He talked me into relaxing my claw bangs and will be mine FOREVAAAAH

Not to be left out of the family fun, Lisa’s maid picks the switch she wants to get beat with later.

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Back to whatever’s up Paul’s butt. I love when there are random braille signs in places you’d never expect them. Do blind people just keep their hands outstretched hoping they’ll find tiny little dots that warn them they’re about to be in a crosswalk? I feel really sorry for the blind person that stumbles into this room:

Screen Shot 2012-01-23 At 10.26.13 Pm
JESUUUUS! Could you have been a little more specific with your sign? I was just here to get my nose done! OWWWWWW!

Wait. So we’re seriously gonna spend the season finale watching Paul get an ass exam? Yes. Yes we are. I take it back. My pity for blind people has turned into jealousy.

Screen Shot 2012-01-23 At 10.31.01 Pm
I’ll give you a healthy ass if you give me a Mister Potato Head in His Thirties face.

Ad goes in to check on him after the doc is done. She loves whatever they’re giving him. Then he farts. The nurse tells him to fart again, so he does. Then he does it in rhythm, like a fart band. I’m not making that up. This isn’t a Ken scene. Still farting. And….still farting. I’d FF, but I’m waiting to see if he makes it all the way through How Can I Get You Alone? Speaking of horrifying asses that gross me out and at the same time glue my eyes to my TV…

Screen Shot 2012-01-23 At 10.35.54 Pm

Back to the wedding. A worker is making Russ jokes. Too soon, dude. Too soon.

Screen Shot 2012-01-23 At 10.38.00 Pm

Dramatic music plays as Lisa watches workers carry in her ten thousand dollar cake. Insert Paul farting sounds. Let’s check to see if Kyle has come up with something interesting to do at the last second before the season is over. She’s trying to decide between a slutty tacky glittery dress and a tacky slutty glittery dress. Those dresses are too young and too old for you at the same time. It’s a talent.

Wanna watch Lisa fret over the gay Muppet being late to help with his own event? Me neither. FF. CAMILLE! Good ole Shlemiel hasn’t had a lot to do this season. Well, she had that “WE DON’T TELL ANYONE HE BEATS YOU!” moment, but otherwise zzzzz. Thankfully, we get a scene starring the real Asshole we’ve all come to know and tolerate. She’s got a new friendployee over (DD’s still chained in the basement for breaking down at the rented Malibu beach house) to help her pick out a dress for the wedding. In typical Shlemiel fashion, the friendployee is kinda homely so that Cam shines brighter.

Screen Shot 2012-01-23 At 11.17.09 Pm
Once we pick something I’ll get back to teaching Harry Potter how to ride a giant magical spider.

Cam starts going on about each dress in her closet. Bill Blass gave me this one! Pamela Dennis made this just for meeee! Liz Taylor was buried in this one so I had her dug up and stripped of it. It was worth every penny! We get it. You fucked fifty mil out of Frasier. The only shock here is that she hasn’t hired Daphne Moon to take care of her mom yet.

There’s a pink one made from Liberace’s man spanx, but Cam doesn’t wanna show up in Lisa’s color. One hag desperately struggling to hang on to childhood is enough for one wedding. She starts blahing about how hard it is gonna be when that kid she paid someone to pop out gets married, which of course leads to a talk about….flowers? Rainbows? A possible war with Iran? NO, SILLY! FRAAAAAASIER! He hurt her, you see. The fifty million band aid isn’t enough to soak up the pain. She still believes in marriage, though, but that one’s gonna be tough to beat. A hairy femme funny guy with a shit load of money. If only Dom Deluise worked more.

Screen Shot 2012-01-23 At 11.25.43 Pm

I’ve just typed three full paragraphs about Camille whining in her closet. That’s how thrilling this finale is. Back to the wedding. Gay Muppet finally shows up and swishes his way through the tent with “faboolous! Wondefool! Maveeloos!” Lisa makes it clear that he’s not earning his paycheck, so he starts “bling bling bling”ing and “shishishi”ing. How has GLAAD not had him shut down yet? He makes the cast of Project Runway look like a football team.

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Fabulous! Giiirl! Oh no she dih’nt! Circle snaps! Hated it!

Everyone’s working hard to make this a great wedding. The plants are even in on it. As they sense Gayancé approaching, they get big boners.

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Lisa goes to check on the bridesmaids, and they’re about as thrilling as you’d think Pandora’s friends would be. Where’s Melissa McCarthy to shit in a sink when you need her? Lisa’s only hired one makeup artist for all of them. Cheap ass. If they’re gonna get this done in time, they’re gonna need to be creative. Might I suggest paper bags? Thankfully, Lisa has a copy machine. Now there are three.

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If you’re all gonna go to the same bargain bin doctor, at least ask for different faces.

An hour to go til the wedding, and Ken needs help writing a speech. Lisa won’t help him, so he stutters around until she announces that she’s leaving. Just when she is about to, he gives her a silent gift and boom! He’s got his two word speech written.

Screen Shot 2012-01-23 At 11.54.44 Pm
Wasn’t me.

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Lisa looks like she’s playing Victoria Grayson in Telemundo’s version of REVEEENGE!

Screen Shot 2012-01-24 At 12.00.39 Am
“Cada vez que te sonríen desde el otro lado de la habitación, o nos encontramos uno al otro en un almuerzo, o le doy la bienvenida a mi casa, que esa sonrisa sea un recordatorio de lo mucho que tedesprecian. Y cada vez que te abrazo, ese calor que sientes es mi odio a través de la quema “.

Screen Shot 2012-01-24 At 12.05.23 Am
Mees, plees done gayt blood on dees drays. I have to return to Ross tomorrow.

Screen Shot 2012-01-24 At 12.06.54 Am
Damn. Get me a rolling pin.

Lisa tells her to wear higher heels, but the maid knows that they can be used as a weapon against her later. She’ll stick to flats. Easier to run in.

Pandy comes down the stairs in her 6,000 dollar dress, and no tears spill from Lisa. Boobs do, though. Good lord woman. Never wear clothes tighter than your skin. You look like a lava lamp. Pandy blahs about how happy she is, but all I hear is Giggy’s tux.

Screen Shot 2012-01-24 At 12.13.19 Am
So tacky to show up with the same hair as Ken.

Cam and Kyle are pre-partying at Ad’s house, and Cam is talking about how she’s gonna convert to Judaism. Not a bad plan. Where the hell else are you gonna find anyone richer than Frasier? She likes Jewish weddings because of yamakas. Always having something on your head reminds you that God is above you. If that’s the case, the Paul is the holiest man here. Check out that rug.

Screen Shot 2012-01-24 At 12.24.19 Am
Always appreciate religious musings from a softcore porn star.

Cam’s full of shit. She likes Jewish weddings cuz people throw money at you on the dance floor and she feels at home. Could you imagine Yenta trying to offload that cow? The fiddler would throw himself off the roof.

Ad comes in all smiles. Today’s not the day to get mad. It’s the day to get Glad.

Screen Shot 2012-01-24 At 12.28.10 Am

J-Mo emailed me about a LaToya sighting, but as much plastic surgery as there is at this wedding, I can’t find her. Oh wait. This must be her. Too far, LaToya. Too far. Put down the scalpel, girl!

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Lisa waddles down the runway, barely able to walk with that dress on. HAHAHA! Hilarious. Ken walks Pandy down the aisle as Gayancé beams at his future divorce retirement funds.

Screen Shot 2012-01-24 At 12.34.52 Am
Happy. Excited. Some might say gay.

Ken walks up to the preacher, says “I do!”, and wanders off. Then the preacher faints and the maid runs on to give him mouth to mouth so he can continue. Didn’t anyone warn the poor guy about Ken?

They take their vows, I take a pee. Ahhhhhh. Back. Everyone’s dancing at the reception. Where’s Camille? Found the perfect guy for her!

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Lisa gives a speech and says nothing. Ken, though, gives a beautiful speech.

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Roses ah red,
Violets ah blue,
If you smelt it,
It was probably you.

AAAAWWWWWW! As any good husband would, he makes his speech about what a great job Lisa did with the wedding and name drops her book title. So tacky. What were you expecting? It’s a freaking pepto wedding and LaToya Jackson is there. Ken and Pandy dance and it’s super sweet and I look at my wrist and wonder when it was that I decided to stop wearing a watch. When cell phones came out? Or when it just became too hard to lift my arm? Pandy smiles contentedly, even though this is going down as the most flaming wedding in history.

Screen Shot 2012-01-24 At 12.50.06 Am
It’s called a sign.

And then Russell hung himself. Kyle’s having a party to celebrate. Failor is invited, which seems kinda tacky. Cam’s got a new man and everyone giggles about how big his wiener is. No one mentions that boyfriend’s brother gutted a guy, raped some strippers and is known as the Silver City Ripper, but hey. At least he’s not a sitcom star.

Everyone laughs and kisses and blahs, and then they start choking as the air is sucked out of the room. Failor’s here! And she’s brought Kennedy! To a party! She looks psyched to be away from her nanny for a night.

Screen Shot 2012-01-24 At 12.59.27 Am
Hiyeeeeeeee! PARTAAAAAY! Kennedy go play on the swing. Why are you crying?

The girls all giggle and kiss and Fail compliments the hot pink on Cam. Ad gives a toast to Twitch, who’s missing. She jokes that she wants to go handcuff Twitch and force her to come, but me thinks Twitch is already handcuffed somewhere else pleading for Don Julio to come save her. Kyle talks about how hard it is being sisters with Twitch. Was this shot while Twitch was rehabbing or before? There is so much wrong going on in this room right now I don’t even know what to say.

Lisa whips out wedding pictures. Why can’t Fail scream ENOUGH! ENOUGH! at the right times? Can’t we talk about something important? Fail just lost her husband for crying out loud.

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The season ends with Cam showing off her hot boyfriend and everyone giggling. This show is fucking confusing sometimes.

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Catch Me if You Can…Oh Shit You Caught Me: by Fail

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But her eyelids are heavier.

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Every room smells like faht, dahling.

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You may have missed the not so subtle hints that Ad hates Lisa. The editors didn’t.

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She plans on going through with childbirth anyway and winning an ACE award for it.

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The chapter only mentions Kathy.

The women share a toast as Ad tells us how they have all come out of this season stronger. Literally stronger. They had to hold Failor back half the time and that shit’s a workout.

I would give you long goodbyes and all that, but we’ve still got two weeks of reunions, a lost footage episode, and hopefully a Dinner Party From Hell Uncut: MEDIUM has her say. Fingers crossed!

To check out the Quick n’ Dirty Recap of last week’s episode, click here! To get the funniest quotes from TVgasm recaps as they’re posted, follow us on Twitter or like our Facebook page! You can post your favorite lines right back at us. Thanks for being here!

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Flipit
About

Currently, Flipit's writing Real Housewives of Beverly Hills recaps, which you can find here. You can also find him doing a gossip segment twice a week called BS of the Day and video recaps of Project Runway All Stars, as well as spoof ReDubs of the coming soon trailers at the end of RHOBH!

Ronnie Karam has been with TVgasm since 2006 , which has given him the opportunity to make fun of hundreds of TV's most loved and hated reality whores. His plan in life was to be Julia Roberts but that plan was stolen by, well, Julia Roberts. He'll get you one day, JULIA ROBERTS!! When not making himself giggle for the gasm, Ronnie performs improv and sketch comedy at IO West in Hollywood a couple of times weekly while using the lovely California days to audition for commercial roles such as "ADORABLE MEXICAN UNCLE". Seriously. He would like to thank Jesus, Buddha and Xenu for the blessings they've bestowed. The writers here are the best around, and he's honored to be associated with them. Find video archives at CankleTV.com, or follow on Twitter @flipit

44 Comments

  1. 1
    MrsMiaWallace
    Posted January 24, 2012 at 3:25 am

    “Shut the beef curtains. Your sadness is shining through and waking me up”

    I should stop reading because thats the pinnacle. Right there.

    But I won’t!

  2. 2
    ohralphie
    Posted January 24, 2012 at 5:30 am

    Pandys wedding was over the top (for ten grand I would have expected the cake to have been carved into Giggy pissing on a pile of hundred dollar bills) and regardless of Lisa blaming Pandora for making her wear that dress and tiara it was completely the wrong the move. But….the wedding was gorgeous! The tent was decorated beautifully and the lighting was insane on how it made everyone look so damn good.
    It was funny that the editors picked the ugliest shots of the women to end with season with. Cannot wait for the reunion!

  3. 3
    mk
    Posted January 24, 2012 at 6:45 am

    Did anyone else hear Paul say something to the effect of putting the enema in his STOMACH? Now I’m no plastic surgeon but I’m pretty sure it doesn’t go there.

  4. 4
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted January 24, 2012 at 6:51 am

    I’m going the obvi route…that wedding (thought not my taste) was beautiful!

    And, I Laughed so fucking hard at Paul’s “hot air” scene I literally fell off my couch. TV GOLD!

  5. 5
    Victory
    Posted January 24, 2012 at 7:09 am

    Lisa “processing” down the aisle by herself with a bouquet, tiara, and weirdly shaped gown was absurd. She looked like someone desperate for attention. You are the MOTHER, not the bride. Sit down, shut up, let someone else be the center of attention. Have an usher walk you down the aisle like everyone else. Bitch.

    The wedding and reception were pretty but there is no way it only cost 15,000. That was $40,000+ easily. My sister was a wedding planner in San Francisco for years and she said the food and drinks (even if her restaurant provided them) were probably $15,000. Add the table, chair, china and linens, the candles, flowers, decorations, etc. It adds up fast.

  6. 6
    LAC LAC
    Posted January 24, 2012 at 7:28 am

    (Ok, now I am fine on the site!! I am soooooo confused!!!!)

    OMG, that was funny, Flipit! Ten times better than the episode. That wedding was gayer than Christmas. It should have been a float on a gay pride parade. Please, please do your hopefully patented video review on this one!

  7. 7
    Rizzy
    Posted January 24, 2012 at 7:50 am

    Watching Taylor walk into Kyle’s holding her daughter just got to me. That poor little girl. Please Bravo do not sign Taylor for another season. I pray there is an outside influence in that little girls life.

  8. 8
    S-Natch S-Natch
    Posted January 24, 2012 at 8:08 am

    Yay for the REEEEENGE shout-out, Flip! Since we don’t have another episode til February, that’s probably as close to a recap as we’ll get this week. (of course, I can always ramble away about my personal musings no one gives a shit about and insert pictures of kittens!)

    Great recap of a horribly boring episode!

    @ohralphie – I noticed that about the editors’ choices for the finale pics – hahahahaha!

  9. 9
    Fan-Ann
    Posted January 24, 2012 at 8:21 am

    The reception music should have included a tasteful rendition of “Just Hanging Around” in memory of youknowwho. (I apologize, but am still leaving it!) And Lisa’s dress might have been too tight, but Kyle’s looked like the top was falling off, so they needed a good alterations person. Lisa should at least left off the tiara…just because she’s got an accent does not make her aristocracy, and can make her look silly.

  10. 10
    mere2142
    Posted January 24, 2012 at 9:15 am

    I went almost an entire season forgetting why we all spent last season hating Camille. It was nice of her to revive ‘Asshole Camille’ for the finale.

    I’m sorry but why didn’t Pandy brush her hair? She was a mess. Though I supposed Gayance didn’t really notice or care what she looked like.

  11. 11
    labowner
    Posted January 24, 2012 at 9:49 am

    I would ask for an aisle or window seat for laughing Flipit, but I realized a flight to hell would only include middle seats between enourmous people who silently fhat. Farking awesome recap.

    I belive the reason fishy lips will make a return next season is Bravo feels a little guilty for her situation. Cam got $50M and fishy got some left over rope to hang herself with. But instead she used it to rope in her “friends” into her abuse story line. Is anyone following fishy’s legal troubles? I hear a court date has been set.

  12. 12
    kczar
    Posted January 24, 2012 at 9:49 am

    “And then Russell hung himself. Kyle’s having a party to celebrate.” Awesome!

    That last scene was probably the most awkward of any of the RH franchises. Taylor was trying way to hard to be happy smiley. It came of as psychotic.

    Let’s hope there are a few fireworks at the reunion. I heard Kyle and Brandi have a shouting match over the whole Kim crystal meth thing.

  13. 13
    Dirty Sanchez
    Posted January 24, 2012 at 10:05 am

    I can only imagine how much everyone on Bravo hates working with these bitches. Well, except for Dandy Andy. Props to the editors for getting in a few digs with the finale pics.

    I feel bad for Adrienne’s husband. We get it sweetheart, he’s no Mauricio. But I’m sure as a plastic surgeon in BH, he gets a few propositions from younger, hotter, less badger-like women than Ad. At least he isn’t doddering around carrying a little Pomeranian like Ken. No wonder Lisa lets the whole world know that she’d rather wear loose clothing than screw Ken.

  14. 14
    smellymutts
    Posted January 24, 2012 at 10:29 am

    Oh my god that episode was so boring!! The only redeeming thing WAS the recap & thankfully I didn’t spit out my tea all over my keyboard, saved it just in time!! So funny though.

    Those were horrible pictures of the women at the end, I wonder if that was payback from the editors as someone mentioned.

  15. 15
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted January 24, 2012 at 10:34 am

    Pandy’s hair was a fucking mess! I thought the same thing. All this chichichichichichichichcichichi shit and her hair came out like that?

    Guys, Lisa interviewed that Pandy wanted Lisa to wear the tiara. Make of that what you will.

    Though it was over the top, I thought the wedding was a nice ending. I wish they left it at that instead of a stupid dead people party at Vyle’s. What lengths that woman will go to for attention. Bleech.

    Also Fan -Ann did you not say Vyle needs a good taylor b/c you didn’t want to use Shana’s alias? If so that was awesome!

  16. 16
    NotWithoutMyTV notwithoutmytv
    Posted January 24, 2012 at 10:39 am

    ZOMG! I just laughed so hard my top denture plate flew out and landed in my coworker’s coffee mug. I can’t let anyone know I surf the web instead of working, so I won’t say anything. She never finishes that whole mug anyway… I’ll just let her drink it all day, then fish my teeth outta there after she goes home. Darn you Flipit!

  17. 17
    NotWithoutMyTV notwithoutmytv
    Posted January 24, 2012 at 10:44 am

    @Gypsy: Lisa only hired the Gay Asian Android to puke up pink all over the wedding (via Skype, apparently), not do hair.

  18. 18
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted January 24, 2012 at 10:55 am

    @ bizzaro notwithoutmytv, no she hired freakish triplets to do her hair. It took three clones to make that mop top of a hairy mess. Well done Lisa. They should have buzzed Pandy’s hair while the were buzzing Max’s. Then they should have made it into a dog hair suit for Giggy.

    Wow I went mental for a second.

  19. 19
    NotWithoutMyTV notwithoutmytv
    Posted January 24, 2012 at 11:05 am

    I hope Bravo paid Phaedra to party plan Russell’s funeral. Fail could arrive in a carriage coated in Necco Wafters and real swan feathers, and the pall bearers could be ex-cons Phaedra once defended. Kim Z. and Kim Twitchards can stay back in the limo and get plastered together.

  20. 20
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted January 24, 2012 at 11:38 am

    Everybody knows you only decorate a funeral carriage in chocolate Necco Whaffers out of respect for the dead. Fluff is made in Lynn, Lynn the city of sin. If every Ex-con looked like Apollo then they can carry all the dead people I know. I’ll start funeral crashing to pick up hot Ex-cons. K&K can get twisted off the tea and they can rename the wake a Sip & See… and smoke… METH.

    God it feels good to go crazy. No wonder Kim loves getting wasted.

  21. 21
    annie anniedawg25
    Posted January 24, 2012 at 11:42 am

    The last scenes at Kyle’s house were so awkward…eek. Even Kim and Maurice(io) were smart enough to stay away from that awkward shitstorm. “Hey Taylor, your husband just killed himself, but let’s check out the pictures of Pandy’s wedding which will hopefully in no way remind you of YOUR failed marriage”!! Followed by a “This is the best you’ve ever looked, absolutely glowing!” compliment. Good Job ladies!

    Back to Pandy’s wedding….it was very beautiful. Shi Shi Shi!! But she looks SO MUCH like her dad, it was kind of werid to see him in a wedding dress. Hmm.

  22. 22
    NotWithoutMyTV notwithoutmytv
    Posted January 24, 2012 at 11:55 am

    That’s true. Chocolate. Of course! Where was my taste when I wrote that??

    Somebody earlier mentioned that the lighting at the wedding was flattering. I thought the opposite, I thought most everybody, especially Paul, looked like putrescent hell.

  23. 23
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted January 24, 2012 at 11:58 am

    Paul’s rug is terrible. So is Adrienne’s.

    Buahahahahahahahahaha!

  24. 24
    Margo
    Posted January 24, 2012 at 12:32 pm

    Lisa should have told Pandy no way was she wearing a gown that made her match the doddering walk of her father and of course, she should have said, “I let you have pink, so there will be no tiara. America will lampoon me til the end of time!” But, she caved. Like a doting mother she said yes to everything and lost her good sense and taste in the process. I buy that Pandy wanted it and requested it. I just still think good taste should have prevailed.

  25. 25
    2muchbravo
    Posted January 24, 2012 at 12:51 pm

    I haven’t read all of Flippy’s cap but I thought Lisa’s dress looked terrible from the back. It was so tight she couldn’t move her legs!
    I didn’t have a problem with the tiara since Pandy wanted her to wear it. But I was thinking the same about Pandy’s hair. It was a stringy mess! I would have thought she’d want an up-do with diamonds in it or something. And, $9K for that cake?! Are you kidding me?
    But, the place settings and flowers did look pretty.
    I think Ad or Paul called into WWHL and said his ‘do was because of a new look his barber was trying. It didn’t fly. They’re not doing it any more.
    I probably have an immature sense of humor but I thought the post-op scene was friggin’ HYSTERICAL! I’ve had colonoscopy’s and it just comes out. You can’t help it! Mauricio may have the body but Paul has the sense of humor!

  26. 26
    sardini
    Posted January 24, 2012 at 1:28 pm

    If you don’t have a significant other that cues hand gestures before farts, well you just haven’t lived. I wonder how long until Paul gets sick of her crap and trades her in for a twenty-something, with promises of free boob jobs and lipo. Then Adrienne will be cast aside like an aging Palms waitress and forced to get a job cocktailing at the Circus Circus nickel slots.

  27. 27
    dizzygirl
    Posted January 24, 2012 at 3:39 pm

    Why no Brandi in the finale? I detest Dana…but no follow up pic with something about her either?
    Pandy’s wedding was gorgeous…but the crap at Vyle’s house was stupid…let’s sit around and watch Failor smile awkwardly and tell her now that Russ is dead she looks glowing..WTF?

  28. 28
    TWhit
    Posted January 24, 2012 at 5:13 pm

    Housewife I can’t remember: “How’s Kennedy?”

    Fail: “She’s doing so much better!”

    Am I the only one that “wait what”ed repeatedly at that? WEEKS after her dad made like a windchime? You’d think her orthadontist would have told her about the grief period.

    I laughed so hard at Camille. “I need you to help me pick out my dress.” Showed her three, then TOLD her which one she was going to wear. Thanks for your help! Hope the drive wasn’t far!

    I liked Pandy’s veil. And…I’m done.

    I’m also not going to point out that if a person just tuned in, say, around the bringing in of the cake, they’d thought Ken had the enema, not Paul. Not gonna.

  29. 29
    pq
    Posted January 24, 2012 at 5:53 pm

    Great recap Flipit! This episode was a little boring, I blame it on the lack of Brandi, but Pandy’s wedding was beautiful. The flowers and lighting were lovely. It looks like it was at least a million dollar wedding.

    Do we know the story with Max because he looks exactly like Ken. There was a show of him making a face and then a few minutes later they showed Ken making the exact same face. I loved how all Pandy’s bridesmaids volunteered to cut Max’s hair. He is really adorable.

    I can’t wait for the reunion shows!

  30. 30
    pq
    Posted January 24, 2012 at 5:57 pm

    *shot* There was a shot of Max looking just like Ken.

    Also, the whole party at Kyle’s seemed in poor taste, but it was Kyle’s party, so that is no surprise. Taylor seemed pretty cheerful given the situation. It was just weird that they didn’t show them talking about Russell.

  31. 31
    Flipit
    Posted January 24, 2012 at 8:50 pm

    agreed what max said about ken. in a scathing publicity email sent out after the “kick leech out of the sur opening” episode aired, leech said that he was threatening to tell the world that ken had a love child. so maybe that’s max? i have spent enough time on these women to dig into it further. LOL
    and i was sad there was no brandi too. she must have really pissed someone off at that reunion, cuz they cut her ass out of everything.
    “If you don’t have a significant other that cues hand gestures before farts, well you just haven’t lived. “-sardini. HAHAHAHAHAHA
    thanks for reading you guys. catching up on comments now and laughing ass off. xo

  32. 32
    maryedith
    Posted January 24, 2012 at 8:59 pm

    Was that CELLULITE on Camille’s thigh during Kyle’s yawn-together at the end? She was placing her hand pretty carefully but not carefully enough! I can’t believe Flipit missed such an Important Thing.

  33. 33
    MtnMama
    Posted January 24, 2012 at 9:04 pm

    Lisa has said Max was adopted through foster care. Maybe that’s why I like her so much!

  34. 34
    adelefig
    Posted January 24, 2012 at 9:04 pm

    I was shocked at the cake’s $10,000.00 price tag! It was only 3 or 4 layers and was just solid white! Someone decided to decorate it with fresh flowers but that price was ridiculous. I would have thought the dress would have cost more than the cake.:)
    TWhit..you are too funny with your human wind chime reference!

  35. 35
    LDTRH
    Posted January 25, 2012 at 6:56 am

    The maid picking the switch to get beat with later and trees with big boners…you are so funny! I missed Brandi this episode. Had I known she wasn’t in it, I would have roofied myself.

  36. 36
    NotWithoutMyTV notwithoutmytv
    Posted January 25, 2012 at 7:38 am

    I can’t figure out which would be more disgusting–listening to Failor tearlessly crying about Russell’s death, or watching her traipse around at Kyle’s party like she’s just been released from Pharaoh’s brick-making operation…

  37. 37
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted January 25, 2012 at 7:48 am

    I thought Lisa adopted two other children from fotster care….maybe it was only Max. He is adorable. Maybe the third decided to stay off screen like Amy Osborn.

    The fact that that cake cost 10g’s or, that it cost more than the 6g’s they shelled out for the dress doesn’t surprise me. It was how hideous Pandy’s dress was that caught me off guard.

    I read a couple weeks ago that the stunt Brandi pulled in Vegas…marrying that MMA guy for 24 hours had Bravo up in arms so that might explain the edit out of the finale.

    Looks like she’s gaining steam with fans though, so Bravo will be the ones who end up swallowing COCK in the end.

    I’ll volunteer to be the trade in for Paul. He is awesome!

  38. 38
    LAC LAC
    Posted January 25, 2012 at 8:58 am

    @TVWhit: I think what Camille means by “help” is a) have one of her homely friendemployees come over b)to ooh and ahh over her amazing fashion sense, her incredible body, and her bravery to go out and face the haaaard world and c)applaud her choice of outfit enough that they might be allowed to attend the event with her. Remember with Dee Dee (?) chained in the basement, there is an opening with fawning required! :)

  39. 39
    kthxbai
    Posted January 27, 2012 at 4:08 pm

    @Flipit I was feeling so positive and proud of myself for not having to take a separate pain pill just from laughing this time.

    Then I got to “Kennedy go play on the swing.”

    So now I have to think of a whole mess of good deeds and go do them so I won’t catch Real Karma of Hell.

    The 1st 1 is typing this before it kicks in good so it won’t be trilogy novel length. Or get confused with my 793rd version of the same comment about Barb on Teen Mom.

    Belen isn’t all that unusual a name. You just don’t see put in English much. If it was it’d be Bethlehem.

    Like there’s about a splillion people named Jesus or Issa. But nobody ever names their kid Jesus pronounced JEEE-zuss. How come?

    And how come Camille’s new hookup doesn’t have a head?

  40. 40
    tvdiva
    Posted January 29, 2012 at 3:06 pm

    Watching all the ooh’ing and aah’ing over how great Taylor looked; not long after the death of the husband she claimed to love so much. Blecch! What were they thinking? That and her hater/eating crow comments, while cashing in on the experience (again, so soon). Taylor either has no survivor’s guilt, or she’s hiding it well. No wonder Russell’s family has nothing good to say. I still don’t believe she was abused. What I do believe is she has a snarky, aggressive streak herself and maybe came out on the losing end. I’ve even wondered if Russell agreed to this all being aired at first, until he realized how it would be edited. Please, no daggers. I know, I know, it’s SO wrong to blame the victim. But this woman just doesn’t seem credible. When I think how close I came to liking her at the end of last season (until the reunion), I cringe.

    (Captcha code is RH72. Is that how many Real Housewives franchises there will be before all is said and done. Or will this be the senior citizens’ version?)

  41. 41
    Snootchy Bootches
    Posted January 29, 2012 at 3:25 pm

    If you think about it, if Camille wants airtime, she HAS to have a friend/employee/production assistant come over. Otherwise she is just a crazy person talking to herself!

  42. 42
    NotWithoutMyTV notwithoutmytv
    Posted January 29, 2012 at 4:11 pm

    I still want to know what happened with Camille’s sitch. She was or was edited to be a cast-iron hell bitch last season, and this season she’s basically wall paper. Wall paper that occasionally makes bad sexual double entendres. At first I thought the producers were giving her a redemption arc, or just wanted to create a new villain and take the focus off her as the old villain. But it’s like they’ve just totally forgotten or dropped her. Have there been any rumors that she doesn’t want to be there anymore?

  43. 43
    Surly Girly
    Posted February 16, 2012 at 8:53 pm

    OMG – Flipit! I just discovered your recaps tonight and it’s like Christmas in February! I’m in for a rare treat, going back to read your previous recaps. You are hilarious!

  44. 44
    Flipit
    Posted February 16, 2012 at 9:23 pm

    Hey thanks so much!! Welcome to the gasm!

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