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Tuesday, November 15, 2011
12:00 am
62 Comments
Previously on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Taylor went around town saying that Lisa went around town saying that Taylor was going around town without friends. Kyle looked confused and tortured, refusing to ask the obvious question:
Well, did you unhinge your jaw and swallow them all?
Then Kim dropped the news that she found someone to live with her that wasn’t a paid nurse after lying about it for a year. Again, Kyle looked confused and refused to ask the obvious question:
How ugly is he?
And that’s it for the previouslies. Last week was so boring the editors couldn’t even come up with a third thing to remind us about. We open where we left off. Kyle is crying that her sister found a man and didn’t tell her, and Kim is explaining the texture of Mister Toad’s skin to Kyle so she doesn’t freak out when they meet.
Kyle doesn’t want to go in cuz “I look like a nut.” Thankfully, you’ll be next to Kim. She’d make Sybil look like a fine upstanding tax paying citizen of Normal Town. She’s taken in to meet Mystery Date, and she looks about excited to see him as the dog is to see her.
Toad has his handy man there to make terrible jokes in case things get violent. He opens with “I’m pretty handy!” and laughs and laughs. Oh lord. Kyle looks like she wants to Russell herself. Kim giggles about fruit trees and pool tables and board games. Kyle doesn’t crack one smile. She asks about the wedding band on Toad’s finger, and Kim explains that it’s just a promise ring. Toad mumbles “iths, iths, a … liketh…” Kyle: “it’s….a wedding band.” LOL. You can say a lot about Kyle, but that skank ain’t fake. Unless you count her face. She excuses herself to go wash the ugly dog hair off her hands. Toad, who talks like he’s got a mouth full of milk, says “I thinkths thatthwenth well.” Yes, Toad. Yes it did.
Someone’s not doing Palmolive commercials any time soon.
Kyle cries and cries. Why? Because Kim held back information or because Toad is going to homelyify the family Christmas card? I can’t tell. She tells us that she wants Kim to be happy but knows that this is the wrong guy for her cuz Kim’s kids told Kyle that Toad is controlling. Well, give him a little credit. He’s dating Kim. He’d have to be controlling. “Honey, we’re in a restaurant. Stop jumping on the booths.” “Honey, you’re driving. Keep your hands on the wheel before you crush another maid on her way to work.” “Honey, the stove is for making eggs, not lighting cigarettes. We’ve gone through nine batches of false eyelashes this week and sooner or later you’re going to look like Freddy Krueger.” The guy is probably the human equivalent of those handicapped rails that stop stupid people from walking into the street.
Kyle tells us that she knows Kim kept this from her because she would have responded to Toad with mace to the eyes and a call to the security department, just like Kim knows Kyle is crying because it’s going to be harder for her to steal a stranger’s house. Kim tells us that this is the first time in her life she did something because SHE wanted to do it. Who forced her to marry the first three dudes? Kim is a mystery even to herself. Hopefully she’ll find an eight ball of crystal to help her work that out.
Paul and Ad are going out to bicker at each other. I think they own this restaurant, cuz there are two statues of Adrienne without her mask on out front.
I hope the first thing they argue about is all the skin Paul left on Ad’s neck. Yikes. She’s looking more and more like a pancake left on the stove too long every episode.
It’s Paul’s birthday, and he doesn’t need a gift. He’s happy with the weathered luggage he rolled in here with. The fact that Bravo is lecturing us to be more organic while showing a closeup of an old rubber lady is too much.
If you bought more organic products for your home, the landfills would have more room for the noses you grow out of.
Ad talks about how hard marriage is. Imagine how Paul feels. He wakes up to Magda every morning. They finish up trying to keep the rest of us eternally single and move on to gossiping about Failor and her terrible personality/marriage/horsey laugh. Ad says Fail is an emotional wreck, and we flash back to the trip to Rusty Beaver where Failor hinted over and over that she’s being used as a punching bag. Ad tells Paul that she doesn’t know if it’s true or not, which is a great reason to bring it up on national television. Paul says Russ doesn’t seem like a boxer, and then he says what a lot of us viewers are thinking but don’t have the nerve to say out loud because we don’t wanna get attacked by the pc police: “I don’t believe it!” Be prepared for Microsoft to bust down your door at any second, sir.
Paul is always working. He can’t even get through a birthday lunch without having to fix part of his wife’s face.
That minor in welding sure paid off!
So what did Ad get Paul for his bday? I have no idea. He doesn’t seem to mind. He’s already got lifetime tickets to his favorite show.
Mauricio comes home from work and keeps his shirt on, so it’s hard to listen to him. Kyle tells him about the Kim situation, and since he’s a good husband, he deals with it like a good husband. He sits back, listens with a blank stare, nods and says “you’re right” a lot. Kyle tells us that when they were kids, if they brought home a guy the tyrant stage mother from hell didn’t like, she’d just refuse to acknowledge him. Damn! Kyle decides that’s the road she’ll go down, too. “It’s all I know!” Wow. So you’re gonna be a total dick to some innocent homely dude you don’t even know. Throw a diet coke can at his head for no reason, and I’d swear you’d read my book on how to deal with homeless people entitled “No Change Til You Change”. Have you noticed that both Kim and Kyle are with mouth breathers now? Creepy. Is there a standing rule against men with working nasal passages in this family?
Taylor has become a spokesperson for some online beauty products site and has been nominated for the Women With No Friends Making a Difference award. If only there was an internet when Rosa Parks was alive. She could have sold lipstick for a third party and never had to deal with the bus in the first place. Sad Women Making a Difference Is Way Easier and More Shallow Than It Used to Be Horns.
Russ is there to threaten people with law suits and tie balloons for the kids.
My daughter’s crying. Do you know how to make any animals?
Russ is sweet to her. He’s proud and wants to keep a program in his office. She smiles and fake giggles with him, then tells us that she doesn’t like when he shows up to her events because she feels like she has to take care of him. Supporting your wife at her fake awards show is bad husbanding. Got it. How bout you take care of yourself? The Asian Businessmen With Scary Faces Making a Difference Awards are down the hall.
Arigato!
Meanwhile, Kim must be driving around BH, cuz this model looks scared shitless.
Kyle shows up to the awards late, which is perfect because she has time to answer Lisa’s call about coming to tea tomorrow. Tea? Bitch, this is America. Vodka or nothing. Tea. Offensive. Kyle wants to know where Lisa is, because she can’t find the awards. What awards? Woops! Lisa wasn’t invited. Poor Failor probably didn’t want Lisa googling the event before it began so she couldn’t tell everyone it was sponsored by the credit card Russ gave Fail in case of emergencies.
Kyle lets Fail know that she spilled the beans to Lisa, and Taylor doesn’t care. Lisa hates her so why should she come watch her win an a….oh wait she lost. Adrienne asks how Lisa took the news that she was dissed by Fail. “She didn’t have a snide remark?” No, but she sure as shit made one when she saw you say that right now on TV. Fail is making a HUGE blunder here. If you have trouble with Lisa, take her to lunch and tell her she hurts your feelings. Don’t try and get a whole team of people on your side against a woman who owns restaurants. Food? Will always win. What do you have to offer? A website selling cheap lipstick, a beaver husband who sues people for shit you say on national television, and a face like a melting skeeball machine. YOU LOSE. She tells the girls that she didn’t want Lisa ruining her big day of FAIL with backhanded compliments wrapped in sarcasm. I find her choice of words a bit strange considering she’s sitting right next to Russell. So backhanded is ok, just not compliments or sarcasm? Failor’s a confusing chick.
Lisa’s telling Ken about being dissed by Failor. Ken adjusts his wig and squirms in his chair as Lisa whips out a Vanilla scented can of Febreeze. Ken’s answer is always long, silent, and deadly. No wonder Giggy looks five steps to death’s door. Ken’s silent faht seems to inspire Lisa. She tells the dog that Fail isn’t the only one who can play games. Uh-oh. Fail’s in twouble. Lisa’s gonna wipe the Asian right off that skank.
Dongdongadingdongouchdingadong
Lisa’s getting ready for her tea party and things are tense with her maid, who showed up wearing the same outfit as Lisa.
This irresistible, Paris original, IIIIIIII’m wearing toniiiiiiight!
Lisa tells her only to come in and interrupt if she has tea or if she hears Failor getting her face ripped off. Lisa has invited Fail because she wants to rise above her petty bullshit. She’s got two hot old guys obsessed with her rack. Why would she care what an anorexic poor person with a face like a splattered bug on a windshield thinks?
The day this dog runs for the Presidency, this pic will be splashed all over the news.
Glad to see it’s not just gay dudes who treat their dogs like children. Lisa may be rich, but that doesn’t mean she’s not a smart shopper. Once Giggy bites it (any day now), she’ll be able to use this to get Ken around the restaurant.
A few of the ladies arrive and the party starts with a giant cross that Camille crawls up on. Lisa brings up Frasier’s meanness and everyone awwwwws. They’re as bored with that shit as we are, so Lisa moves on to Russell’s latest email. This time, he sent it to all the girls, and it’s a link to an article about Failor being addicted to diet pills. Oh LAWD. Who isn’t? This is Beverly Hills! If you’re not taking diet pills YOU’RE NOT MAKING AN EFFORT. The closest I’ve ever seen that town to rioting was on the day ephedra was banned. Lisa snarks that she’s glad to know Taylor’s eating, even if it’s only diet pills. LOL! I can’t even tell if she’s kidding. Diet pills are one of the food groups. If more Americans would be responsible and buy them, we’d have no obesity epidemic and no problem with population control cuz of all the exploding hearts. Dear Ephedra, I miss being thin and gorgeous. I believe, hope, pray and wish with all of my irregularly beating heart that you’ll come back to me soon. Love, FatFlipit.
The ladies gawk at Lisa’s iPad in confusion. Why the f aren’t THEY in magazines? Fail is so leaking her own stories. Russ really thinks the cast members would make sure to get Fail in magazines over themselves? Russ seems confused. He understands that his wife is on a TV show where she hints that he’s abusive, their marriage sucks, and she’s always drunk and refusing to eat, right? All the money in the world doesn’t equal enough brain power to order a DVR from the cable company. Stop paying lawyers and get some OnDemand action.
Failor walks in to some awkwardness and fake kisses Lisa. Then she sits opposite Vanderpump and gives her a Paris shot, just in case she’s got hidden cameras somewhere. So desperate.
The day the paparazzi quit.
The convo turns to Kim. Kyle tells everyone she’s ditching cuz she’s moving in with an ugly guy. I’m sick of listening to Kyle bitch, but at least it opens the door to another Kim impersonation by Lisa!! I love her Gollum voice!
We wants it, we needs it. Must have the precious. No electricity. Witch Mountain. ICON. Sneaky little hobbitses.
Lisa’s being funny and charming, but Failor’s not having it. In her defense, she might just be uncomfortable from the heel of that New Balance she just had injected into her forehead. Jesus, woman. Buy some wax paper and an iron. You look ridiculous.
Lisa doesn’t sneak up behind Fail, that’s for damn sure. She finishes laughing at her own joke and then says “I heard you had an event yesterday and they all went.” LOL! Fail nods with confidence and looks around for some support, but no one will look her in the eye. Ad tries to smooth it over by saying how nice it was that Fail was nominated for anything other than worst mother of the year or mouth most likely to be confused for a black hole.
Lisa interrupts and says she was disappointed in Fail because Lisa’s always invited her to everything. Fail says “I agree” over and over again. What? What doesn’t that even mean, you agree? People who have too much therapy forget how to fight. In the real world, you can’t just say “I hear you” and expect shit to get fixed. You have to put a brick through a windshield, threaten to ruin your opponent, and end with a screeching FUUUUUUUUCK YOU!
Lisa’s not backing down, so Taylor gets all uppity and starts waving her stick arms around like she does when she goes into the ENOUGH! monologue. She shout/asks why she would invite someone who tells her “And I quote: ‘I. Am NOT. Your friend!’” Cut to clip of Lisa saying “Dahling I’m not masquerading as youah best friend heah….” Lisa never said she wasn’t your friend, she said she wasn’t going to act all fake like you’re besties when you’re not. Why is that so hard to understand? Lisa calls bs and Taylor gets more and more worked up. Lisa asks why she would offer to take Taylor in if they weren’t friends, and Fail snaps “So you could look like a saint.” Lisa rescinds the offer. LOL.
Fail, not scoring a point yet, keeps on dribbling blindly down the court. She shouts “Why would I come to someone’s house if they say they’re not my friend?” Lisa asks why she’s here now, then. Fail, not understanding the giant glaring FAIL in her argument, stupidly answers “Cuz you invited me.” This is hard to watch. Blind people shouldn’t play basketball. It’s dangerous. Might I suggest piano lessons?
Tay shouts that Lisa is always cutting off “me AND Camille!!” Camille just looks like she’s trying to figure out when she ate the corn that is violently trying to shit itself all over Lisa’s couch.
Fail starts fake sobbing and pointing and rolling her bobblehead like a DMV worker insisting on two forms of id. Her big stab? Lisa’s told everyone she doesn’t have friends! Lisa leans back on the couch like she just ate Thanksgiving and rolls her eyes, denying that one with a bored wave of the hand. Fail snootily threatens to open up the convo to the whole room and Lisa gleefully begs her to.
Kyle jumps in before she can get tattled on and says she might be referring to the day in Paul’s basement where Lisa had the GALL to suggest that Camille and Taylor weren’t close. Then Camille says all innocently that Lisa asked her if she was close with Taylor after the divorce and Cam said that she and Taylor had only seen each other once. LOL! So Lisa….was right? HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!! LOVE IT! Taylor, still not knowing that she lost this war ten minutes ago, snaps that Lisa shouldn’t be discussing her relationships anyway and it’s none of her beeswax. Lisa looks equally amused and disgusted, like she’s watching Animal Planet for the first time ever.
Why is that elephant raping a zebra dahling?
Speaking of Animal Planet, fake emotions do stuff to Fail’s face. None of it pretty.
Taylor has soooo much going on right now, so she’s deciding to be (air quotes) honest (end of air quotes). The first problem here is that Failor’s idea of honesty needs air quotes around it. Dumb biatch. She starts the fake sobbing and PacMan chomping again and says that she’s tried so hard to be friends with Lisa! Lisa mind shrugs and tiredly asks when exactly that was, cuz she missed it. Fail’s in act two of “For Colored Girls” at the moment and can’t hear her. She fake sobs out her already famous “If you can’t be my friend, just please don’t be my enemy!” line and adds some more fake ass sobs. It’s breaking my heeeeeart!!!
Lisa doesn’t really know what to make of this. She says she was worried for Fail’s emotional well being and that’s why she offered help. Taylor sob/snaps that Lisa didn’t offer help until things were too extreme and she was nowhere to be found before. WTF is she talking about? First, no one else has offered dick, and second, how the hell is she supposed to know when things are extreme with you? You still haven’t even said what’s going on. All she knows is that you got fall down drunk and zipped yourself into a suitcase in Decrepit Beaver and then she offered to help you. You can’t save a cat until it gets stuck up a tree, ya dumb hooker. When it gets stuck, you call the fire department to get it down and then the next morning you take it to the vet to have it euthanized. Can’t just have crazy cats ruining your night, dahling.
Lisa can’t say anything without getting yelled at, so she just sits there and waits for the storm to pass. Failor starts fake sobbing and yelling about not being good enough for Lisa and then tries to storm out. Lisa tells her to just be herself, and Fail yells “I DON’T KNOW WHO I AAAAM!” Hint: You’re an asshole. The ladies aren’t having the quick easy escape. God bless them. What, we’re gonna spend the rest of the show watching Kim make out with the mouth breather? Get back here, ya bendy straw!
The women surround Fail and coax her into coming back while she continues the blabbering about nothing. Lisa fixes her hair and says “I don’t understand this.” HAHAHAHAH. Fail pauses and fakesobs more and says that her life is sooo hard and she’s soooo flawed (only decent point she’s made yet) and Lisa gives her anxiety because she’s so judgmental. And who says “I’m not your friend” to another HUMAN BEEEEING! Lisa tries to explain that that isn’t what she said at all, but Fail keeps cutting her off and acting like a looney tune. Satchels of mold.
Finally, Lisa explains that she was just saying that they may not be close, but that doesn’t mean she won’t be there for Fail if she needs her. Ad says “then maybe instead of saying you’re not her friend…” LOL!! Ad doesn’t know how to listen. SHOCKER! Ad suggests wording it differently. Oh go berate your husband.
Lisa stays very calm and says that she apologizes for hurting Failor’s feelings. She was genuinely feeling for her when she was in trouble. Look at Camille! Lisa hated that bitch til Frasier publicly dumped her, but her misery turned them into friends!! Rich people help poor people in need that they don’t like all the time. Why not help other rich people in need that they don’t like? It’s like charity without income requirements. Lisa’s lesson of the day: shallow horrid rich people need hugs too sometimes. Camille looks horrified/touched.
Lisa didn’t like Russ at first, and…Fail jumps in that she doesn’t like him either most of the time so welcome aboard. God. She’s really off her rocker. I think she forgot that she’s pretending to sob right now.
Line!!! Oh yeah. My life is so haaaaaaard!
And you’re an asshole. My act has officially been stolen.
But how could Lisa say they aren’t friends? “Because we ahen’t!” HAHAHAH! Lisa refuses to get dirty here. She looks Taylor in the crazy eyes and says that she is here for her if she needs her. Fail takes a moment to be calm. Then she starts shouting again that Lisa always has some shitty remark. HAHA! She came ready for a fight and she’s not getting it so she just keeps yelling. Hilarious. She’s always come off as a bit off, but right now she’s a fucking lunatic. She starts going off about how she’s a mom and has to stay strong and blah. I guess now’s not the right time to point to a story claiming Taylor’s become a slutty drunk since Russ joined that swing band. Keep up that great mothering, sugar! Lisa just says she’s sorry again. And again. Fail is still yelling and pointing and making faces like this:
Zzzzzzzzzz
Lisa has nothing to say, and neither does anyone else, so they just stare at Fail for a bit. She pats her weave down and half heartedly apologizes for ruining Lisa’s tea. Then she grabs her champagne and says that she shouldn’t be the only person to embarrass their family today. Let’s all be honest! YAAAAAAAAAYYYYY!!!
No one responds to that, so Fail says that she wants to sit down alone with Lisa and tell her what all the other ladies are saying behind her back so she’ll realize her friends aren’t as friendly as she thinks they are. Oh shit. Kyle looks like Camille after a corn nut.
Wadn’t me!
Silence. Fail is rolling her head now. She’s going there. Lisa’s ego is inflated this year. Did you not say that, KYLE?!?! Dundunduuuun! Kyle looks away, but she’s not gonna run because Lisa’s too powerful and will find her. She admits that she said Lisa has an ego, and Lisa laughs and says thanks a lot. Fail shouts “Lisa! You’re your own screen saver on your iPad.” HAHAHAH! OMG! Everything Fail says just makes me like Lisa more. Lisa has a goodhearted laugh at that one. She asks us what’s wrong with this picture:
A pic of an old lady in her bra posing sexily with her dog? Nothing at all is wrong with that. The www wasn’t invented just to find cheap flights, girl.
So she has a disturbing pic with her dog as her screensaver. Who cares? Taylor shouts “It’s obnoooooxious! You’re so self involved it’s unbelievable to me!” Um, Lisa has never, ever, ever said anything like that to Fail. EVER. What. A. Koontie.
Lisa says it’s time to end this because it’s too bitchy and nothing Fail just shouted was friend-like. Fail gets up and shouts that everyone’s too much of a wimp to tell Lisa off and she’s done. She storms out of the house, her fake sobbing now miraculously stopped, and runs into Paul, who’s standing at the gate with a cup of coffee like a bored cop checking on the drunk tranny hooker he busted earlier.
Are you sure you don’t wanna make a phone call, honey? No reason to stain your jockstrap in lockdown.
Fail, now calmly fuming, tells Paul that she told off Lisa and no one would back her up cuz they’re all chickenshit. Paul says he figured Kyle would get in on that since she’s been bitching about Lisa for a year. HAHAH!! This is why husbands should be on every housewives show. They don’t give a crap who they piss off.
Inside, Kyle’s in damage control mode. She tries to explain what she really said, but Lisa brushes it off and says she doesn’t know what to believe. She claims that she’s never dissed anyone but Taylor, and was honest about it with her. The convo turns to the Armstrong marriage, and Ad says it’s weird that Russell is supposedly Satan to Taylor but then they act like best friends five minutes later. Oh hell no. The Housewives are about to have the conversation we’ve all been afraid to have all year.
Kyle says that either Taylor is telling them lies…long dramatic pause… about Russ or they’re in classic denial. Camille says that the one time they hung out, Fail cried on her shoulder for three hours about how Russell was leaving her for good. Then, when they were done, Fail put on a big smile, hugged Cam, and said she had to go or she would be late to get on the G4 with Russ for a vacation. LOL! So he’s leaving you or you’re going on a romantic getaway? The suggestion seems to be that Taylor is such a compulsive liar that she didn’t even remember telling Cam her husband was leaving her ten minutes before she lied bragged about jetting off on a Miles earned Southwest flight private plane. The biggest shocker here is that Cam listened to someone else talk about their problems for three hours.
Cam thinks Tay’s a liar at this point. Kyle says that maybe she’s just exaggerating about how much money she has, etc, and it’s so LA and doesn’t offend her. Lisa says she’s not talking about the money, she’s talking about the fact that Taylor’s going around saying her husband abuses her. Dramatic music. Snapple: Pissed Off British Lady Flavor. You fuck with Lisa, don’t expect her to keep your bs under wraps. Wow. The whole room is shocked silent by that one, and Lisa says bragging about money you don’t have is way more innocent than bragging about abuse that didn’t happen. DAAAAAAYUMMMMM!!!! So this is why everyone looked so guilty in that opening scene of the season.
Meanwhile, Fail is still outside rambling like a nut to a very entertained Paul. She’s still going on about how weak the women are and shouting “The Giggy is up! The Giggy is up!” You’ll need to go back inside to know how true that is, Mr. Rourke.
Inside, Ad is now on the “Taylor’s probs lying” bandwagon. Kyle is nervous, and says she hates this conversation because if the abuse allegations are true, they’re horrible people for suggesting they might not be, and if they’re not true, they’re horrible people for slandering Russell. Lisa tries to keep this all on track. “Do we believe her or not?” Fail is outside rambling on about how afraid everyone is of Lisa, and she’s probably right. I’m scared of her, too. Lesson of the season: Don’t. Fuck. With Vanderpump or you’ll pay the price. Even Bobblehead has stopped bobbling.
Please don’t sue me.
Failor has created some bs drama for airtime, and it’s turned into her undoing. The show’s not even over, and I suspect the internet’s ablaze with “Taylor’s a Liar” stories. Meanwhile, Paul is outside checking up on her New Balance facial injections like she’s a horse. A horse with ghetto ass groupon plastic surgery. I guess she was so traumatized that she just decided fuck it let’s get more shit in my face. It’s also odd that the editors included Paul commenting on the bruises on her face caused by injections. Tricky editors don’t believe Fail either.
Perfect. We’re just gonna nail some shoes on your feet so you don’t fall down.
Failor comes back inside moping while the other ladies are gabbing about her. Camille says they’re talking about the Russell situation, and Fail is mortified.
Cuz you told everyone your husband beats you. And you have no friends.
I caught my dog pooping in my house the other day and shouted NO! His ears went straight back and his mouth strained and pulled back. I don’t know why I’m thinking about that right now.
Fail wants to keep the convo on everyone turning on Lisa, and she’s mad that Kyle didn’t back her up. Especially after convincing her to go after Lisa publicly because Lis feeds on the weak. HA! Kyle’s tricky. Kyle gets her finger in Fail’s face and tells her not to f with her. “I don’t like that!” HAHAH.
Fail can’t believe that this has turned back to her marriage, and she does her best to stop it. She starts shouting at Camille about backing her up re: “Fail has no friends”, but Cam brings up the taking a vacay with a husband who is supposedly leaving you thing instead. Fail’s so thrown off that she can’t even fake sob. She can, however, make faces that would scare a child.
Fail still isn’t sure what’s going on exactly, so she points at Lisa again and tells her to stop talking behind her back. Lisa says it cuts both ways and she’s heard stuff too. Cam is sick of this fourth grade bs and tells Fail she might wanna be choosier with her words, because she most likely doesn’t wanna “put everything out there.” Tay acts confused, so Camille spells it out. “Things you’ve told us about your marriage.” Man. Fail screwed everyone over today by trying to get them in troubs with the Pump, and they’re all turning. Except Ad, who is conveniently gone. She’s slippier than a bar of soap in a porno. Cam shouts that all they’ve been doing is protecting Taylor by not speaking, and Lisa agrees. Fail acts like she doesn’t know what they’re talking about, so Cam shouts that they keep quiet about Russ breaking her jaw and beating her up. “But now we said it!”
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mindblown
WOAH. F this show for making me side with a possible wife beater and f this show even harder for making me side with CAMILLE!!! CAMILLE’S AN ASSHOLE!!! WHY GOD WHYYYYYYYY??!!?!??!
I am completely dumbfounded and have no idea what to type next. I think that means I should just stop. Your turn to weigh in. Were the ladies being harsh, or are you glad someone else publicly admitted to thinking Taylor might be lying about the abuse? Insane that we’re even discussing this, but here we are. I am dying to hear what you guys have to say about this one. Thanks for being here.
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62 Comments
I don’t even like Lisa and I do think she has a lot of catty things to say about Taylor (who I just can’t muster up a fuck to give about her or her problems). I don’t see what was wrong with T not inviting L to her luncheon thing.
That said she looked bonkers. Like completely crazy. She pretty much admitted to kissing Lisa’s ass not because she genuinely likes her IMO, but because she wants(ed) to be apart of the cool girls club. It just felt like emotional blackmail she is attacking Lisa but then wants Lisa to feel sorry for not liking her that much.
I was like preach when Camille said her piece. Really like her this season. And Lisa was LOL funny with all her facial expressions during the tea thing.
Kyle is so ugh. She was so disgustingly rude at Kim’s. I don’t understand how you assess a situation and decide that despite the fact that Kim seems happy, really she isn’t after maybe 30 minutes of meeting the guy and talking to her. You would think she would stop telling people that her sister isn’t really happy months and months after the fact but no. She’s still saying that on her blogs and on twitter.
I need more Brandi I can’t stand Tyler’s face
LMAO at her being an Asian. The screencaps of her face get me every time. It’s like I’m scared than I’m laughing.
Can both be true? Can Taylor be a manipulative liar that made her husband so mad he broke her jaw if this is true? I think she gives as good as she gets ; remember how mad she was about Russell getting the dog and he was sneaky and afraid to directly assert himself with her so did a surprise presentation of the puppy in front of witnesses? Not the typical abusor behaviour I don’t think. I see her as demanding, crazY making and without integrity.
Said it before and I’ll say it again, what kind of a Froot Loop voluntarily makes alleged spousal abuse part of a reality TV story line? And what kind of cretinous network encourages it and then runs with it? So much for the Kinder, Gentler Post-Russell’s Last Game of Hangman edit.
This is a new fucking low for all concerned.
I’m sure that next week, prompted by some/all of remaining cast, Vanderpump and Failor will go lunch to rehash the situation all over again. A lunch-time limited nuclear exchange, and then 20 minutes of each combatant relating their version of the events to 2+ other cast members, and bam! There’s another episode in the can.
You aren’t all buying the new respectful, discreet Camille, are you? Kinda turned on a dime, didn’t she? She’s not anti-drama, her character is just written that way this season.
This show has gotten beyond nasty and ugly (and I’m not just talking about the surgery-ruined faces). I can’t stomach to watch it any more, but I’ll faithfully keep reading your recaps! I don’t know how you do it without a liberal dose of brain bleach afterward.
Watching Failor flipping out is like watching an episode of River Monsters. Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, I cannot get over how fucking ugly that woman is. She’s such a creep. Did she really think she could turn that group against Lisa? Yeah, a bunch of multi-millionaires would back a lying, cheating, stealing, poor, physcho bitch over one of their own. If it wasn’t for this show NONE of them would associate with that thing. Fun fact:if you google ugly fish you’ll get a list of the top 10 in the world, 7 of them look like Taylor!
Ok…all hail Flipit! 2 classic descriptions for Taylor in one recap: “PacMan chomping” and “ghetto ass groupon plastic surgery”. OMG…seriously perfect! Mere adjectives would never suffice to describe this deeply, deeply terrifying creature, but these 2 will stick with me for the rest of this season!
Before I even read this I just want to say I got next to NO sleep after watching this show, it was so disturbing and clearly edited to pieces. I really wish they would stop showing Russell.
I know I am asking for it by continuting to watch but I guess it’s my own morbid curiosity. So, I take full responsibility. Being a domestic abuse survivor myself, I can say that it truly distorts everything in your life. It’s clear Taylor is beyond distored. I knew this season was going to be rough to watch but, it’s really just getting weird.
And will Vyle just butt the hell out of Kim’s life already? Let her be a freaking crack head already. Ever hear the expression: “You can lead a horse to water but, you can’t make him drink?” Yikes pun not intended.
Also anyone else catch Marilyn Manson call in on WWHL?
Never thought I’d say this but GO CAMILLE! (Oh and I liked her joory too, green looks good on her)
Paul has treated Taylor’s face many times in the recent past – yet he and Adrienne did not initially buy into Taylor’s stories. Innnnnnnteresting. And even Taylor’s best friend in this group, Kyle, clearly had her doubts.
Camille was awesome and had Taylor dead to rights, to say nothing of Lisa and her composure and being totally correct about everything. Taylor’s problems are way, way deeper than even abuse or a rotting marriage. I think she’s less mentally ill, though, and more venal and shitty.
I know it’s wrong but the line about Russell joining the swing band had me in stitches.
That said, this was a truly disturbing episode. Taylor had to know this would come up eventually if she kept running her mouth at Lisa. Yeah Lisa can be a bitch sometimes but I appreciate her ability to stay cool and collected while Tay completely loses her shit.
I can’t believe they left the Camille bomb drop to the last minute. For a while I thought Camille was going to say that with Tay outside and it would be a big build up for nothing.
I have always loved Lisa. I love her honesty & her sarcasm. She may make snide remarks but she would say them to your face too. I think she’s genuine & it’s very refreshing.
Taylor pisses me off! Of course abuse is never funny or never deserved but to actually do volunteer work against abuse but still remain in an abusive relationship, I just can’t image who that may be empowering women in the same circumstance. It’s one thing if she’s come out of the relationship & said, if I did it, you can too, but isn’t it hypocritical? It’s not a topic I know much about but it does make me afraid for viewers.
Having said that, why the fuck do people choose to do reality TV & think their shit will never surface? I’m baffled at how people think their abuse, their financial struggles, lawsuits, what have you, won’t surface!! People will dig up your shit!!
Back to Taylor, it really pissed me off when she called Lisa out for being egotistical. Many people may be arrogant for the wrong reasons, but I think Lisa truly likes herself & doesn’t take herself too seriously. Isn’t that what we should be teaching women, to actually like themselves rather than cowering before an abusive husband?
@cupcake623, I was really psyched to hear Camille open up & call Taylor out on her bullshit, I too really like her this season even though she was AN ASSHOLE last season. I guess I am buying it!
And yes, please more Brandi. I’m surprised to be saying that but there it is. I find myself surprisingly rooting for her, especially facing the adversity of snooty jealous mean girls!!
>>>>I have always loved Lisa. I love her honesty & her sarcasm. She may make snide remarks but she would say them to your face too. I think she’s genuine & it’s very refreshing.
Yes. A genuine bitch. It’s a reality show falsehood that you are somehow a better person if you will say the same shitty things to someone’s face as you do when you’re snickering with your equally cruel and obnoxious friends. These shows just keep getting meaner and meaner, both what the women do on them, and how the producers manipulate the storylines. There is a point where entertainment stops and blood sports start. Does anyone else feel like Bravo is pushing that line?
I think Taylor is really cracking at this point. To me, it’s pretty obvious that she had been telling all these women about the problems in her marriage, looking for sympathy and hopefully a way out. Lisa actually had given her an honest, healthy response. She wasn’t pretending to be in a real friendship with Taylor but offered a way out for her and her daughter. I’m not sure what else she was expecting from Lisa, but she didn’t get it and decided to attack. Which is never a good idea when you’re not in the power position. Mrs Vanderpump is definitely has that position.
I believe that Russell probably did hit her. She has the presence of someone who’s been beaten down, mentally and physically. I just don’t know what she hoped to get out of going on this show.
On another subject, if Kyle wants Kim to act like a grownup, she needs to stop treating her like a child. If Kim falls on her face (which she probably does on a regular basis!), let her. Talk about a co-dependent relationship.
Anyway, back to the funny stuff, right? More Ken faht jokes next time, Flipit!
I appreciate a genuine bitch. I always have and I always will.
Hell yes Bravo’s pushing the line, but we’re pulling for it. RHW shows are the soaps for this decade. While I agree that there is producer manipulation and story lines, these are not actors paid to portray a character. The miniscule amount of reality included keeps me watching and disturbed at the same time. I for one like to see rich people’s lives that are more fucked up than mine.
So I will continue to watch mostly for the stellar recaps provided by Flipit. I couldn’t possibly, and wouldn’t want to, process this show without his take on these cows. I don’t google them or care about their product lines. I get exactly what I want out of these Bravo shows. Entertainment. And coming here the next day is the icing.
On page 5, but had to stop and say Flipit you are brilliantly hilarious!! I was thinking about you while watching this episode and could not wait to read your thoughts. You NEVER disappoint. Ok, will finish reading.
Why was Paul hanging outside the gates of Lisa’s house drinking coffee in his scrubs? I know he lives across the street, but why was he lurking outside her gates? It seemed oh so convenient for Taylor to be able to talk to him after storming out. He seems like a nice guy, but it really irritates me when he tries to make Ad eat what he thinks she should eat instead of what she wants. He did the same thing at a restaurant the first season, basically forcing her to eat something she didn’t want. Not sure why she doesn’t smack him!!!!
I also thought Paul’s presence at the gate was odd.
Best RHoBH episode ever. LOVED the recap and tags.
Go Team Lisa!
After flipping my hair into a perfect state ala Tiarra, I can now type. First of flipit, great as usual. Love that you and other recappers seem to be working out personal issues when you write. Thanks for including us.
Bendy straw? Were you referring to failor or the straw in your drink?
By the way that is a new and improved asshole, now with filters.
Lisa is so comfortable with herself she makes others feel that much more inadequate with themselves. Am I the only one who thinks Lisa looks like Kate Middleton in that picture with her and G on page 3?
Notwithoutmytv do you think Bravo is the only bully out there? Look at what happens to anyone who makes the news or politicians. Nothing but bullying from news stations etc. Thus why we don’t have good people running for office more often.
Ok now that I’ve read this a couple more things…
My favorite lines from Flipit are:
“She pats her weave down and half-heartedly apologizes for ruining Lisa’s tea.” (And what a NAD weave it was)
“She storms out of the house; her fake sobbing now miraculously stopped, and runs into Paul, who’s standing at the gate with a cup of coffee like a bored cop checking on the drunk tranny hooker he busted earlier.” (Buahahahahaha!)
Taylor is touched in the head. It’s clear. Bravo not only crossed the line IMHO but, they got a running start and, leapt over it on this one. I am really close to shutting this show off but, as Shantigal said these are the soaps of this decade. It’s hard to pull away. Like I said earlier, just morbid curiosity.
Again regarding Tailor, there ARE woman out there who do cycle from one abusive relationship to another, some even subconsciously seek it out and CAN be just as abusive in return. I just don’t think we need to be watching it on TV but, it’s there. It’s fascinating to watch just how fucked up human beings are to each other. And we’re only seeing the re-edited version…SMH
Woman backstab woman all the time. It’s how most of them operate. That’s why I personally keep a small circle of woman as close friends and the rest as acquaintances, just too much drama. And, for Tailor to think she could pull off a full-fledged attack on the Pump and get the other woman ‘ ‘acquaintances’ to follow her lead is downright lunacy! It’s clear to everyone in that room, and watching the TV knew that no one was going to outwardly bash Lisa. It’s just not good business for a grown woman, especially one in Beverly Hills where Frenemies are everything.
Gross Story on Taylor BTW!
Does it make me hate Courtney Kerr even more for trying to paint Matt Nordog into a saint? “Like, without a doubt”
Flipit, you deserve all the kudos you get, great job. This episode was rough!
*BAD
Camile’s Jersey is coming out this season…and I love it!
Anyone else notice that Lisa called Kyle from her home phone, so why would Kyle ask her where she was in the hotel? Hmmmm…. me thinks Kyle meant to let Lisa know she wasnt invited.
Also, Taylor is attacking Lisa for saying she doesnt have friends and for her screen saver. Seriously, are we in 4th grade again.
I found it hilarious when Taylor said, “I keep asking you, are you my friend?” WTF seriously….. thats not even normal to ask when you are like in middle school let alone in your 40s in BH. What a effn psycho
I think Paul has been concerned not as much with what Ad eats but with her caloric intake overall. Several times over the last episodes he has commented on the small amounts she eats. I suspect Ad has her own eating disorder, of which Paul is aware – hence his policing her food. Heck, he might have been the original prescriber of Taylor/Ad’s diet pills (remember the “discreet” hand-off of the package from Ad to Tay at the pool in Vegas? Could have been the diet pills off of Paul’s prescription pad). In general, Paul seems to know a lot of these women’s secrets. I’m fascinated by him and by what he says-and doesn’t say. Oh, and I suspect he got summoned to the gate by Adri and/or the producers in an attempt to get Taylor back into the house for the finale of the drama. I find him most interesting!
@Serenaby… I’m sure you’re right that somebody put in a call to Paul to mosey on down by the gate. To me, he’s the ONLY member of this show that has any semblance of likability, so maybe that makes him interesting.
I’m still reading this wonderful and incredibly awesome recap while trying not to giggle at my desk (DON’T JUDGE ME I’M CAUGHT UP!) but I just gotta say…is it just me, or has every scene with Taylor, with the exception of a couple of interviews, look like she hasn’t washed her hair in forever? I’m cursed with fine hair and I know it sucks but SERIOUSLY girl mine’s poofier and I gotta buy my shampoo at Wal-Mart.
My Not-Kyle nurse sister (as she likes to be referred now) thinks it’s due to malnutrition. It just looks flat and colorless and unhealthy and blah.
Read. Back. Did Marilyn Manson really call?
I wanna start bawling and flapping my arms and screaming “I TRIED SOOOOO *SOB* HAAAAAAARD TO LIKE YOU TAYLOOOOOR!” but seriously, I can’t. Something’s just off. I always thought that Taylor hated Russell because Russell didn’t act toward her like MauREEEEEEEESEio acts toward Kyle. Watch her face when they’re together in any scene. Her eyes bug out she’s so jeal. Anyway…I can’t be her friend.
I’m also completely over Kyle this season. What’s with the “I think she’s moving in with him for company?” Girl quit acting like she said “I met him five minutes ago.”. The Troll is growing on me.
Back to Taylor…is it just me or does Taylor indeed have a Camille Complex this season? She thinks she’s being judged by a woman who obviously gives a shit so in her little messed up head she’s making it real.
And I’m so *cough* er…uh..um…proud of…uh
AWESOME recap as usual, Flipit!
No, Marilyn Manson did not call. He was talking on the phone, but Miss Andy got a little pissed when Manson said something to the effect that he was busy and WWHL called him.
Wow. It’s going to take me a while to process this mess.
So far my guess is that Fail did tell them Russell was hitting her and it was supposed to be 1 of those things they didn’t say on the show.
But after a while it got too obvious and she kept getting crazier so it got to be 1 of the main things they were all talking about so of course it ended up being on the show and then of course Fail wanted to backtrack.
It’s like the rule about how when you have a fight you shouldn’t go tell your family and friends all about it because they’ll turn against your SO and then when you make up it’ll be awkward and you’ll be embarrassed and regret saying anything.
That rule so wasn’t made for situations with violence and abuse involved but that’s the way Fail’s reacting to it anyway.
ROFL @ “Ken’s silent faht seems to inspire Lisa.” Ken’s silent fahts inspire us all @Flipit and so do you!
I said I’ll give Mr. Toad a chance but not if he’s cheating on my Kimmie! Why, oh why, does he have a live-in Kimmie AND an active match.com account that he updated just 3 weeks ago?
http://www.radaronline.com/photos/image/153515/2011/11/kim-richards-boyfriend-activ%20e-dating-website
Props to Wendy Williams for Housewives scoop. And also for making Vanderpump eat a McRib.
http://absurdtosublime.net/2011/11/10/lisa-vanderpump-tastes-her-first-mcrib-on-the-wendy-williams-show/
And for your daily dose of cute, her is Dana’s son…speaking Thai! I guess she was telling the truth. She DOES have a Thai nanny!
http://stoopidhousewives.com/2011/11/09/real-housewives-of-beverly-hills-dana-wilkey-danas-son-jc-speakin-thai/
I’m not completely sold on Kyle and Mauricio’s ‘pasion’. Part of me thinks they’re just being affectionate for the cameras. There just seems to be no chemistry between them. When they were having dinner with the Armstrongs, Mauricio leaned over to pretend to eat Kyle’s food and she grabbed his head and and held it until he was nuzzling her ear, but her facial expression never changed from a stony stare. She never smiled at him, they don’t even flirt much..they just hug, grope, and look mildly bored.
I think Paul is aware of his wife’s eating disorder, as well. He’s always trying to entice her to eat, describing all the dishes with exaggerated excitement; “Look, ravioli!”
Do you think during the reunion that Kyle and Lisa will be sitting on the same couch? I’m not so sure.. I think Kyle may be propped between Taylor and Dana, on Sofa Fail.
Chef Bernie really does hate Lisa, doesn’t he? Apparently Lisa made some racist, “anti-Latin” remarks in his presence because she’d mistook Bernie for Jewish. Well, with a name like Bernie.. Kidding!
http://absurdtosublime.net/2011/11/09/chef-bernies-problem-with-lisa-vanderpump/
He wasn’t specific on what she said but by the way Lisa treats ‘the help’, I could imagine a snide comment slipping from her lips when she believes she is in ‘like-minded’ company. Anyway, I wonder if Bernie will appear at the reunion. He’s been getting a lot of screen time, i can’t imagine his disdain for Lisa won’t be addressed.
As if the rubbery, blubbery faces weren’t enough, we almost got BushWinked by Taylor – brrrrrrr!!!
“Russ is there to threaten people with law suits and tie balloons for the kids.” – Flipit, your funny knows no bounds and I’ll be snickering over this one all day (among others).
Maybe it’s from watching Dynasty years ago, but Vanderpump can do whatever she wants cause dammit, she’s rich and comes by it honest (she does have a “kinder, gentler” Alexis Carrington vibe). And she seems to have a low threshhold for fuckery, so I can relate. She’s a far sight better than some of the other franchises’ broke-asses who act like power divas, but live on their checking account overdraft protection fund like it’s real money (Teresa, Tamra…).
I think because Taylor so desperately wants to be Lisa’s friend she missed the whole point. Lisa and Taylor are associates. They are women who hang out in a similar circle and are friendly with each other but not friends. Because she does spend a considerable about a time with her due to the show she let her know that she was there for her. You don’t actually have to be someone’s friend to let them know that if they need to get out of a dangerous situation you will help them.
And as an adult woman what are you doing kissing another woman’s ass to be her friend. At whatever age Taylor is she should have her core group of friends by now and it should matter if someone doesn’t want to be you friend. What is this kindergarten?
Taylor never kissed Lisas ass. What she was doing in the old ‘divide and conquer’ mean girl mindset. Most of us remember this from elementary and jr high school. Taylor picked one ‘girl’ and got the rest to bitch about her flaws and faux pas, after all – there is nothing better than a common enemy to unite a new group together. Lisa, Camille and Adrienne are all confident women who have more money than they know what to do with thus are not falling for this bullshit. Kim is batshit crazy so does not count which leaves Taylor with Kyle. Kyle fell for it no doubt because she is broke (comparatively) and jealous. But in the end even she wouldn’t go to war on Taylors behalf.
I don’t blame the women for doubting the abuse accusations. I know that this is very PC to say – but the truth is that sometimes some women lie about the most terrible things. I don’t see classic battered women syndrome coming from Taylor. What I do see is someone who is manipulative and lies.
Anyway – great recap as always Flipit! I’m surprised that you didn’t include the greatest Housewife quote of all time. When Taylor was going on her rant Lisa said “Don’t you air qoute me!”
Love that woman!
@ohralphie I agree about the abuse story too. That couple was full of bullshit. Whatever happened between them, we will only get her side of the story, and I can’t help but doubt a person that lies, cheats, steals,and manipulates. I also think Kyle will be friends with someone like Taylor because it makes her life look so much richer.
Whoops – I meant to say ‘un PC’
@poopsicle, tots agree about Kyle. Of all the women (besides Kim) Taylor is the only one Kyle can ‘best’.
@sarcasatire – verrrry interesting Match.com post. I hope that there is some explanation that makes sense, because as wacky as our Kimmy is, she is OUR Kimmy and does not deserve someone else using her YET AGAIN (read: Her Mom and her whole f**ing family).
Agree with the un-PC-ers amongst us. I have known true abuse victims, and I have known those that will yell abuse just to better their positions – especially in divorce situations which this was at the time. Shana/Taylor/Failor is a known con artist, AND the women with her in person even doubt her story. I call shenanigans!
Taylor is insane, pure and simple. Plus she is a total skeez; a pathological liar who’s not intelligent enough to keep up with her own lies; and a vicious wannabe trailer park trash nobody. But what is the most scary are her delusions. Just because SHE wanted Lisa to be her friend, it is somehow Lisa’s duty to become that friend? In what world, to use Fail’s own favorite phrase? This psycho is so demented that she will use anything and everything to further her own agenda. Taking innocent words or comments and twisting them into what suits her; making stuff up left and right without regard for how obvious it is to others; describing her own heinous actions but ascribing them to others; the belief that if she keeps repeating some BS that people will eventually accept it as true simply be virtue of getting used to it being mentioned all the time. She is that typical coward/suckup who will bite her own hand off to get up your @ss, but if God forbid you reject her advances, like Lisa did, she will turn all her aggression, her hate and her jealousy towards destroying you. In here she is dealing with women whom she can’t really touch, but in real life I bet she’s done that to a lot of former acquaintances and friends.
Her behaviour, the constant violent mood swings, the seething anger and hatred, confirm what I’ve been saying from the day Russell died – that she is most likely the one who abused him, quick to use her hands or anything that falls into them, for no other reason than to simply release her anger.
There is a reason she looks like a vicious coon – she is exactly that, inside and out, and it shows.
All her life seems to be one staged drama scene after another. How psychotic do you have to be to have several ‘mini nervous breakdowns’ (fake of course, just like her crying fits), then stop in the middle to laugh boastfully about yourself being a badass (ha,in her dreams!), then go directly into a demand for a free on the spot consultation with Paul (make an appoitment you cheap skank), to then come back and start the whole drama again. It is doubtlessly obvious that this season she is DOING ANYTHING to get a much screen time as possible, i.e. creating drama, making up conflicts, staging meetings to insinuate bad $hit is happeing to her, coming up with the whole BS story of abuse by Russell, and leaking the $shitload of gossip about herself to the tabloids. It is transparent that she has become sooooo addicted to the TV ‘fame’ that she will do anything to prolongue her 15 min, even if just a little, and she cares not who she hurts or damages in the process (e.g. her daughter, her late husband).
Nasty, heinous, narcissistic cheap ‘ho. Just go into obscurity already. She is not fun to watch, she has actually become a chore, and I hope that they get rid of her pronto. She is the one spreading discord and perpetuating sensless, baseless drama, and it needs to be put an end to.
And finally – Vyle; disgusting, so self obsessed and so nasty this season, it is really good to finally see her true colors. Her disdain for Kim, her back-stabing jealousy of Lisa, are hard to watch. What I hate about her is that she will make snide comments behind one’s back, but when confronted, she will deny till she’s blue in the face. That to me is the same as a lying cowardice and she is going to be unbearable to live with in a few years, because this character trait only manifests itself more over time, not less. She could not find ONE SINGLE GOOD word to say about Kim and her Toadie. How f-ed up is that? And her relentless shifting of the blame for her attrocious behaviour to feeling like ‘Kim’s mom’ is just such BS it’s ridiculous. Fu@k off already! You are constantly moving, too, just like Kim, so if you miss her that much, instead of bit@hing that she won’t move closer to you, why don’t you move closer to her??? What’s good for the goose… But we all know that would never happen because Vyle is so self obsessed she’d see it as an unbearable sacrifice of her lifestyle. So fu@k off, and leave Kim to make her own mistakes and live her own life. I’m with Kim on keeping Toadie a secret for a year – she knew that the reception would not be warm and friendly, and she decided to make herself some happiness before she was ready to face the onslaught of nasty from Vyle.
And Vyle’s plan to ‘just ignore’ Toad like her momma taught her?? Was Big Kathy permanently stuck at 12 years old? Who does that? That household must have been a REAL TREAT to grow up in – no wonder Kim still needs anxiety meds, poor mess of a woman.
Best part of the recap – Oriental pictures of Failor, LOLOLOLOL
Ah, polk8dot. Preach it! I’m in the Amen Choir.
@serenabythelake: ‘Heck, he [Paul] might have been the original prescriber of Taylor/Ad’s diet pills (remember the “discreet” hand-off of the package from Ad to Tay at the pool in Vegas? Could have been the diet pills off of Paul’s prescription pad’.
Seriously? You make an accusation against Paul like that based on what??? The ‘discreete package hand-off’ might have been a tampon being inconspicously passed to Fail. And diet pills are available OTC, or on the web, you do not need a prescription. I think it is very irresponsible to make such allegations against Paul, who is a respected doctor, and who depends on his integrity to maintain his business success.
Why does there always have to be someone else responsible for what someone is doing? Should we not keep the guilty persons responsible, especially when the evidence of their misdeeds is overwhelming and accessible all around? Why drag Paul into it and smear his good name needlessly?
(my captch is ‘NME8′, hehe)
“The guy is probably the human equivalent of those handicapped rails that stop stupid people from walking into the street”
Did my Flipit get an Ab Fab reference in? Bravo!!
Taylor needs to eat a sammich and a good nap dammit!
Does the marriage counselor know about the spousal abuse?
Hmmmmmmmnnnnn…
Flipit, thank you for wading in the botox needle waters of this mess of a show. What a vile show this has become – I primarily lay this at the feet of Failor. I am so sick of the anaconda size mouth, the fake tears, and the shrill neediness that flows out her bony ass. I am back on the Lisa bandwagon if only because of Taylor’s lame argument about her being self absorbed because of her IPad. Really, bony brains? You treated your daughter’s birthday party like it was a backdrop to the wonder of you.
I am loving the Camille this season – the looks, the jabs at Kelsey, the “I am not doing the crazy bitch thing this year” She is an asshole, but it is an asshole that I am proud to call my own. (Yeah, that doesn’t sound right)
“And will Vyle just butt the hell out of Kim’s life already? Let her be a freaking crack head already. Ever hear the expression: “You can lead a horse to water but, you can’t make him drink?” Yikes pun not intended.” Gypsy it is more like you can lead a horse to water, but if it drinks it, it is only to wash the pills down.
LAC, True dat. And AMEN! It’s tough to get it all in while you’re working so, thank you.
“The backdrop to the wonder that is you?” HA, genius!
Man, I am with you on the Camille bus. I’m even willing to pull a shift drving it. *shaking my fist* How the hell did Bravo manage to pull that off?
I have to admit, I do judge people who have solo pictures of themselves displayed in their home or as their screensaver. Usually they do turn out to have massive egos. I thought Lisa was way to hard on Taylor. Clearly this is a woman that is one step from going over the edge. She needed to back off, like Bethenny did with Kelly on Scary Island.
Kyle needs to mind her business already! Her sister doesn’t tell her anything about her personal life because she’s a judgmental, house-stealing bully.
Hilarious recap. I was disturbed by this episode also, but you managed to find the humor.
Remember the game night shooting took 6-8 hours. How much of that did we actually see? I believe the tea party filming also lasted hours. So I don’t believe Trailor went from happy to sad to happy in the 30 second time period. This happened over a span of hours. Not that I don’t believe Trailor is loony, they edited her unstableness to make it look worse.
I am only halfway done with the first page, and I can tell flipit wrote this recap. It’s absolutey hysterical. My fav recapper next to Plathaddict.
Paul said when Taylor approached the gate, that he was looking for Ad.
Taylor might know who she is if she quit changing her face to match every new name she gets.
Well, labowner, hours and hours for an afternoon tea seems a little long to me, but let’s say you’re right. That would have given Taylor plenty of time to drag Lisa outside and go Oklahoma on her ass.
Cock!
Lololol! Nice Robinez. I just spit on my iPad with my self abosored massive ego self.
What great reading! And pissed that the links on side reel just take me to the beginning of the tea party. Here in Canada, we have to wait a bit for the show so I scour the links. All bad this week, and what a shame. Or is it? But to the IPad thing – I have a wee ego but I have a screensaver of myself as well – but it is from skinnier days. So, well, it is more nostalgic than egocentric. And anyway, go Lisa. Nothing at all wrong with showcasing yourself and having some humour. Now, I just have to see the rest of this show, as disturbing as it sounds to read about it. (And by the by, there’s nothing wrong with having some go, as long as you have some empathy as well…who cares?)
There’s nothing wrong with having some “ego” as opposed to “go.” Okay.
Only on page 2 but had to stop and say there is no one funnier on the face of the earth. No one. That’s not hyperbole. It’s a fact.
on WWHL Ad said that Paul was going to come in and talk to her buy=t when he saw the cameras inside he changed his mind.
***But
Finally caught the end of this episode on a terrible link from Side Reel that was shot from someone’s couch. But still, wow. Lisa was calm, cool and certainly collected through it all. She is a real. There’s no artifice in her reaction. She is solid. But was most surprised and impressed by Camille. You know, she ain’t so bad. She called it.
I don’t want to stand up for Vyle — I really don’t — but if everyone were suddenly held accountable for things said about friends to other friends everyone’s social lives would explode. I am totally capable of thinking people I like have big egos — or low self-esteem, or all kinds of things. And sometimes I’ll comment on it to another friend. And I know my friends don’t like everything about me and that they discuss these things sometimes when I’m not around. I think it’s psychotic the way Taylor keeps calling people out for having opinions about other people. I think it’s perfectly possible that she was indeed being knocked around and that she actually liked being able to talk about it. I think she’s that sick.
Have I become totally victimized from this show that I feel…..sympathy for Taylor?! What’s wrong with me?
Sardini, I think you need to immediately go watch the episode where she spent $50,000 that her husband didn’t have with the excuse that it was a “birthday party” for her daughter when in reality it was just another way to make herself the center of attention. You will immediately return to normal.
I would add to Snootchy Bootches suggestion that you watch out for her being upset that Russell upstaged her expensive jewelry gift, which her four-year-old daughter didn’t give a shit about, by the simple gift of a puppy, which the little girl loved. Then a while latter, she found a way to get rid of the dog by claiming that it caused allergies. Yeah, Shana/Taylor Armstrong/Ford is a really sympathetic character. @@
I concur with crankyguy. Rewatch S1 at Taylor’s b’day party when she confronts Kim. She’s rather aggressive. Then, as everyone crowds around Kim is telling Taylor that she is always stirring the pot. Taylor sees that everyone is now listening and so she REPEATS Kim’s words but much LOUDER saying “You, Kim, STOP always stirring the pot!”. Kim, the actress, sees an audience and falls apart. wtf? She stumbles, fumbles and says all the wrong things and goes down in flames with her own sister fanning away. Taylor is not about solutions, or helping, or understanding or caring or listening or anything. She is not a nice person.
Trailer, emboldened by the total annihilation of one frenemy begins her web of half-truths against Lisa. But she overestimated her own abilities and way underestimated the Vanderpump. You just don’t go up against the Vanderpump. Not that Trailer is dumb. She knew not to go “Oklahoma” on Lisa. After all, Lisa’s a Brit and hasn’t learned all the rectangular states in the middle. And to Trailer’s credit,she knew it would be a waste of time teach Lisa U.S. geography. But that “stirring the pot” angle seemed good for a repeat. Just work it for a season, get everyone primed, then turn on the croc tears and Lisa is toast. Oh wow, what better opportunity to turn Lisa to toast then at a tea party? What Trailer doesn’t realize, unfortunately, is that The Vanderpump doesn’t get flustered like Kooky Kim. And Trailer totally misread Vyle. She thought that because she was able to get Vyle to turn on her own flesh and blood that it would be easier to get Vyle to turn on her bestie, Lisa. But Vyle likes to talk behind everyone’s back, there’s was no skill in that. And, had Trailer really paid attention she would have realized that a woman who would steal her own sister’s house and then annihilate her on national TV for bringing that subject up is extremely agile on the matter of self-preservation. And for that reason, Vyle would never commit hari-kari over Lisa to support your broke arse, Trailer. Nothing to be gained and lots to lose. Remember, Kyle has a few charities that she supports. So you would be talking about losing one of her big donors! Not happenin’ chica. Not this lifetime.
Which by the way, I have to stop and ponder, why do liars and grifters come on a national tv show? I mean, doesn’t their power lie in people’s inability to put two and two together? Pit them against each other? You know, divide and conquer? Doesn’t it undermine their tactics when people can watch a video clip and put two and two together. “Wait, she didn’t say she wasn’t your friend. Why do you keep harping on that?”.
Surmise it to say that Trailer’s tour of lies and deceit came to an abrupt halt while at a simple Tea Party in Beverly Hills. Don’t let the cream cheese and cucumber sandwiches fool you, this town is tough!