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Monday, November 28, 2011
10:54 pm
60 Comments
Tagged: adrienne is a bitch all the sudden, boring ass time, bravoandy, bravotv, cloris leechman is still a hot bitch, flipit, funny, hilarious, kim richards is hanging with her friend crystal, kyle richards, lisa vanderpump, pandora vanderpump, real housewives of beverly hills, recap, russell armstrong, spoof, therapy, TV, tvgasm, wedding
Previously on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Lose-y Liu, the gayest Gaysian muppet on the planet, dusted off his Liza wig and helped Lisa plan a wedding that would turn Liberace into a gay basher, …
…Adrienne was pissed that Lisa didn’t throw a free bridal shower at her tacky hotel instead of her friend’s tacky hotel, …
And while I’m at it, why did Taylor make us all wear the same outfits we wore to her abused woman poker fundraiser last year?
…and Taylor and Lisa decided to talk shit to each other’s face from now on, which sounds like a terrible plan.
T: You’re an old smelly hag and your bald dog disgusts me.
L: You’ve got a face like a burnt biscuit and are the reason England hates Americans. And your husband has terrible dentures. And your daughter is most likely autistic as far as I can tell. And you’re a fraud. And your weave looks cheap. And Ken’s silent but deadlies are more palatable than your sad excuse for a personality. And you….
ENOUGH!! ENOUGH!! Let’s just hug now.
We open with Lisa and Pandy meeting with Lose-y Liu, who’s brought the wedding invites by. They look like birth control sponges for women with giant vaginas.
Inside are flower petals, the invite, and gas masks for the two rows that will be sat behind Ken. They will cost fifteen grand. Cheap bastards! Whatever happened to sending white pony riding singing midgets to each guest’s home? Things were different in my day. The invites aren’t all! There are caterers in the kitchen making samples so Lisa can choose the food, and there’s also a bartender with throat cancer who’s infused his own vodka. I infuse my own vodka too!! In my stomach, though. Usually with candy and random 7-11 food covered in mustard. Delicious.
He pours the vodka over dry ice so it will freeze, and Lisa doesn’t like the result because Mohamed is invited and she doesn’t want the guests to start freaking out about a terrorist attack.
See something, say something.
Lisa worries that the spectacle might be too tacky. Your bartender just used the word “meltamorphasis”. It’s already passed the too tacky mark. Ken seems a little confused by the fog and the bartender’s odd penis head hat and the Asian lady squealing faboolouse over and over again, but the Gayance smiles like a princess in a tiara shop. This is going to be the second happiest sexless marriage of all time.
Adrienne is at her mall house planning a fashion show or something. Why is it that the only people with weight problems in this town are in the service industry? That has nothing to do with anything, and I’m sorry to point it out. But it’s two scenes in a row with fat service people. It’s like Bravo’s trying to warn us chunks to stay the hell out of town unless we want to be hot glue gunning sateen flowers to boxes or inventing words like meltamorphasis for minimum wage.
Exhibit B
Ad’s working on a shoe line. Oh LAWD!! The fun thing about BH was that these bitches were rich enough to not bother us with their lame businesses. I guess the economy’s even hurting rubber people with gold walls. Damn you economy! I say when you have a dining room chair with a shellacked baby crawling up it, you’re not allowed to start any more businesses. There is such a thing as too much money in the wrong hands.
She’s put her favorite shoes on the table and wants to come up with a way to replicate them for poor people. Adrienne has obviously never heard of Payless. I’m sure if she bothered to look hard enough, she’d realize that half her staff are wearing Low Batons already.
Ad’s the richest woman in the room, so everyone laughs and smiles at everything she says while keeping Payless a secret. Gotta make a living. I don’t care how much they cost, some of those shoes are just hideous. She should forget about catering to poor people and go after drag queens. They’d buy. They’d also take whatever makeup, money, and hide the Adam’s apple advice she had to offer. Hey! It’s a poor service person who’s not fat! YAY YOU! Unfortunately, her tits are wonky. Poor disfigured descamisados of Beverly Hills.
I went to Harvard and all I got was a job xeroxing ugly shoes and a pair of wonky tits.
The Maloof logo will be gold and have a diamond in the middle. It will be on the sole of the shoe, I guess so people can feel all smug that they’ve got a diamond no one can see on shoes no one wants. Doesn’t Lisa have a shoe line too? So first you stole the tiny dog schtick, now shoes too? I thought Adrienne was better richer than this.
Taylor and Russell are at the therapist. Oh hell no!! I thought the oh so sensitive Bravo producers told us that they were cutting all these scenes? Oh who am I kidding? I’m thrilled. Aren’t red rooms supposed to make you crazy? It explains a lot.
Wait. He’s not a shrink. He’s a “Doctor of Osteopathy”, which, according to these here internets, is “a form of drug-free non-invasive manual medicine that focuses on total body health by treating and strengthening the musculoskeletal framework, which includes the joints, muscles and spine.” Oh gawd please don’t let this be a couples massage. No, wait again. They are going to this dude for marriage therapy after all. Can terrible marriages be fixed with a little spinal intervention? These people are wack. Stretching properly will not stop your husband from beating you.
Failor launches into some bs about how she and Russ love each other, and I can’t help but think of how much she looks like that CGI youthful version of Jessica Lange in American Horror Story. But with an industrial vacuum cleaner mouth.
Why is her face different every single time we see it? Fail tells the NotShrink that when Russ is nice, he’s super nice, but when he’s mean, he’s not nice. Russ says that nothing has happened that’s so bad that they can’t recover, and that’s why they’re trying to fix it. You can tell they’re really truly in love, cuz instead of holding hands they fist bump.
Russ says they’re having issues with neglect because he’s working a lot. “And your anger?” Well, we have trouble keeping the gardener on schedule. “And your anger?” We both like different colors. “AND YOUR ANGER?” Russ does, indeed, have anger issues. “And can you feel it coming on?” Russell blinks really hard a few times. I think it’s coming on now. You might just wanna adjust his back and let that fucker out of your office.
NotShrink goads Russ to talk about his anger, but Russ doesn’t want to, so NotShrink launches into a monologue about how Russ’ anger makes him mean and nasty. LOL! That’s not therapy, that’s taking Taylor’s words and using them against him before he even knows what the hell is going on here. Taylor nods knowingly, like Russ was super strong confessing through the NotShrink’s mouth. This is all on camera, obviously, so there is a lot of holding back and talking around stuff. NotShrink keeps trying to put the words “I am a wife beater” into Russ’ mouth, but Russ won’t go there. NotShrink says the trick is to realize why he’s so angry when he’s angry. Probably cuz Taylor’s pissing him off. Just my non NotShrink opinion.
The only telling thing that Russ says the whole session is “It’s amazing what a little respect and common courtesy will get you.” The notdoc jumps in with “and self control.” Russ agrees, obviously not knowing that’s aimed at him. Fail just wants the notdoc to give them a clean slate, and NotShrink says that’s immature. Russ is totally listening.
Time to go! Phoeniscottsdaltusconbequrque is calling!
NotShrink is visibly pissed that Russ is cutting out early, and all he can muster up is a weak “OK, but we gotta really do this stuff!” What stuff? All you did was half heartedly repeat a bunch of pop psy mumbo jumbo that Fail gave you. This is why when you need mental help you shouldn’t go to a back doctor. Russ just blinks hard and furious at NotShrink while NotShrink and Fail give each other “He really is an asshole” looks.
Back at Lisa’s, GOD DO WE HAVE TO? They’re in the middle of their tasting, and the chef has cotton candy for them. Pandy refuses to serve that unless Fail doesn’t come. LOL! Lisa informs her that Fail will be coming, cuz they made up. Then she makes this face:
Pandy doesn’t want any fighting. Then find a mom who’s not on my damn TV, ya brat! We’re not tuning in to see some gay dude commit to your head full of roots. FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! Lisa promises there will be no fights. Ugh. At least I can fast forward through that snoozefest. Pandy seems doubtful. Hey skank, your mom’s spending half a million dollars on this wedding. She can shit on the dance floor if she wants to. GET A JOB. As if knowing this is one of the most boring scenes of all time, Lisa does an impression of Fail eating cotton candy.
Too little too late flavor.
Failor has orchestrated a mani-pedi day with herself, Kyle and Brandi, but then doesn’t show up. HAHAHAH. Kyle decides to go anyway so she can get past the drama. Brandi isn’t getting a lot from her B List ex, and in order to keep her job on this show she’s gonna have a fundraiser or a party at some point. She decides now’s as good a time as any, so she runs her idea by Kyle. She wants to invite all the hags over to watch the sunset at her Malibu home, and she wants to invite a porn star to teach them how to give good bjs. HAHAHAH! Stupid ass slut. I love it. Kyle is horrified and says that she already knows how. Maybe bring someone over to teach Kyle what crystal is. She gently says that B should have some more class around the ladies, so B decides to just have a dinner party so everyone can get to know each other better. Getting to know you is what made them hate you in the first place, but it’s your party.
Wanna watch Ad run around and stress out her party planner? Me neither. FF. And just like that, it’s all set up! Fail and Russ are on their way to the Paymore show, and they’re trying really hard to have a conversation. Failor says she’s super happy that Russ is coming after all, and he replies that a meeting was cancelled and besides, he knew that she needs his support. HAHA. Stupid. Just say “I cancelled my meeting to be with you, baby.” Even I’m better at relationships than him, and the only Valentine I’ve received in the past decade was delivered by my right hand.
Fail tells us that through her therapy sessions with the orthodontist, she’s learned that her friends hate her husband because she’s told them all he beats her. Girl, a dentist could have told you that for half the price. She mentions to Russ that she’s worried about seeing Camille. Cut to Camille shouting accusations that Fail is probably lying about being abused. Fail obviously hasn’t told Russ what she said, because he tells her to rise above it instead of “Just tell her I hit you with a bag of oranges so I wouldn’t leave bruises. That’ll shut her up.”
He continues that she has a right to be angry, because Camille has talked untrue shit about both of them and Fail should just ignore her. No use getting yourself all tied up in knots over it.
Guests start arriving at the Paymore fashion show, and Ad brags about her friend who’s done Felicity Huffman and Katherine Heigl. That’s quite an image you’ve given us. Thankfully, he’s the show’s fashion designer and just made clothes for those women. Yet I still can’t get the image of Felicity Huffman moaning and groaning with her stiff face and her one closing eye. The guy’s name is Kevin, but according to the Mary M. Webster dictionary, it’s spelled Kevan. What, no accent mark over the A? What kind of gay are you?!?
Russ and Fail pick up Mauri and Kyle in a rented limo (EMBARRASSING), and the convo turns quickly (does Kyle turn it any other way?) to the Camille/Taylor smackdown. Mauri says he doesn’t even know what Camille said, which has to be a damn lie. He’s supportive of his wife, though, even when it comes to stirring a giant pot of poisonous poo. Russ says he doesn’t know what she said either, and Kyle says “Well…” Failor jumps in nervously and says she’s just gonna forget it for tonight. It would be horrible for Russ to find out his wife’s been telling the whole town he’s beating her at a fashion show. Better to wait for it to air on national TV. Fail’s a sensitive gal. Why is Kyle dressed like the interior of a room at HoJo’s?
Lisa and Ken arrive, and after double air kissing them both veeeeeery sloooooowly, Ad pulls Lisa aside to give her shit about the Vegas trip. Man, even a guest appearance by Cloris Leechman can’t lighten these bitches up.
Sorry I’m late. Tootie hid the keys to the Candy Store van again.
Ad says she’s mad and hurt that Lisa didn’t ask to have Pandy’s “Congrats on Marrying the Nellie” party at The Palms, and Lisa has the same reaction I did: It would have been really obnoxiously rude to ask. Ad won’t hear it, and Lisa tries to explain that her old friend offered to host the party for all the girls. In other words, that shit is free. Ad is still pissed and says that it doesn’t matter. Lisa could have asked her. But she would nevah! Ad says “You’ve never had a problem asking for other things” and Lisa, hurt, denies asking Ad for anything. Well, you asked for your wine to be served at the Palms! Lisa says “Our wine was never served there” and Ad says “But you asked.” LOLOLOLLLLL!!! Lisa looks honestly shocked to find that after all these years of friendship, it turns out Ad is just another asshole. Lisa just drops it and apologizes, saying she didn’t mean to ruffle feathers.
Ad slants her already Loose-y Liu eyes and says with a smirk “You know, I’m gonna be there that weekend.” Ooooooh. Are you gonna send your brothers out in an about to be repo-ed limo to break her knee caps? Fuck off, lady. Lisa tells us that she’s honestly sorry about the mistake, but Ad’s more than welcome to host her pain in the ass family for Christmas. HA.
They hug and move into the party, and then Lisa brings up the wine again and says that Ad shouldn’t bring that up when they never served it. LOL! Ad insists that she set it up and Lisa never followed through, but Lisa calls bs. Why would Lisa get your blessing to sell her wine and then not do it? She’s rich. Rich people don’t ignore money. Ad probably fakely told her she’d set up a meeting, didn’t, and Lisa didn’t hound her about it because she figured she didn’t want to be rude about it if Ad wasn’t comfortable with it. I’m with Pumpy, only because she hasn’t been a liar yet. Also, because Ad looks like Jafar, and he always scared me.
Ad tells us that she wishes Lisa just said sorry and kissed her ass. Well she’s not one of your fat for hire ass kissers and she doesn’t have to. I wish Lisa had a glass of champagne at that moment to let Giggy drink out of. Camille shows up and meets her date: her giant publicist. Sad my tennis pro’s wife won’t let me date him now that I’m single horns.
We’ll have fun! I brought paper towels and spray bleach so feel free to enjoy a couple of appetizers.
Cam comes out of the bathroom and Failor is standing there. Cam starts talking to someone else, and Fail backs away. HAHAH! You can’t run from Camille! Well, you can, but you can’t hide! OK, you can. But you can’t just move on! OK, you can. Fuck it. Just give her fifty mill and call it a night. Cam catches her and they have some awkward “Man Ad has terrible taste, doesn’t she?” small talk. Cam walks away, and Fail says “We’ll talk later.” Cam nods and keeps walking and Fail shouts after her “But not tonight!” Heheheh.
Now for a scene with Ad telling off her troop of homely poor people. Her scenes are painfully boring. Can we get Paul in here to tell everyone what mistakes God made on their faces? Dying here! Camille and Brandi chat about being divorced and stuff while Failor makes blowjob jokes with Lisa’s manly friend.
Wendy is saying that she’s just realized that she’s a bitter, angry, tired bitch. Then please, come on this show more often. You’re like a self aware version of Adrienne without the faux gold frozen baby chairs and the angry Asian eyes.
MyhotelohsooooIbossladyoubadbadwoomansuckyfuckyfivedolla
Point is, Wendy is a horrible person so she called the orthopedic guy for help and he gave her great therapy. That’s how Fail found him. Russ says that guy has almost fixed his marriage. Sad I’m dead now horns. I wonder if the orthomatress guy has been getting any business lately.
The lady who heads the charity Ad is giving money to tonight kisses her ass endlessly, and says that if she can achieve success, she is an inspiration to others. Ad gets faux choked up (or has smoker’s phlem, I can’t tell) and says that her father’s philosophy was “take care of your customers, take care of your employees, and look as Asiany as possible so no one tries to pull bad math on your books.”
Asoooooo!Youtrytocheatmeoutofmoneyyoubadbadwomanmeloveyoulongtiiiime!
Ad gives an inspireless speech and then the fashion show starts! You can find inspiration anywhere if you’re creative enough. Kevan has found his in dry cleaning bags.
Don’t let models play in those! They could suffocate themselves.
Lisa comments that the point is to see the shoes but most of the dresses are too long and hide them. Heheh. Some homely person is gonna get their ass chewed out tonight. Ad says that she didn’t want her shoes to be the focus in a fundraiser. Then why did you throw a fundraiser just to show the shoes? Woman puhleeze. She shows Cam the pair she’s wearing, and if dwarf strippers made more money there would be a market for those things.
Bad shoes and plastic bags out of the way, Kyle gossips with Failor and Lisa about Ad. She relays the story, repeating that she would feel obnoxious asking for a giant free party. It doesn’t make sense that Ad would be pissed about losing the chance to host twenty something girls for free, unless she wanted publicity on the show. DINGDINGDING! Ad said as much. She says that Ad is always mad at her these days and it’s like walking on a rubber minefield, where you take the wrong step and boom your face melts off. Then she tells us that the Vander Pump will kick the Maloof Hoof’s ass. Smackdown! Who came up with this shoe thing first, dammit? I say Lisa, because Ad copied the tiny dog thing. I’m a real detective you guys.
This was a painfully boring show, but it looks like they’re ready to make up for it next week with another Fail breakdown. YAAAAY!!!
Just posted this and went to post a link on facebook to find a message from Dayna that asked me to use the following screenshot. HILARIOUS. I can’t believe I missed it the first time! Thanks Dayna!
Let me guess. You’re in the service industry.
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60 Comments
The award for best Ironic Editing Choice in a Reality TV Franchise goes to Real Houses Wives of Beverly Hills, which filmed the therapy session of an abusive couple, and got them to cough up self-congratulatory statements about how well they were doing, and chose to air the footage after the husband hung himself by the neck until he was dead, dead, DEAD.
Didn’t Taylor and Russell’s “therapist” appear on Celeb Rehab with Dr. Drew a few times?
Well, of course they went with an osteowhatever for therapy because an actual psychologist would never allow therapy sessions be filmed especially in the case of an abusive husband.
The more this plays out the less I believe that Russell was a wife beater. I tend to believe what he said this summer about shoving Taylor during an especially horrible fight. Look how she flips out on the show. The bitter truth about domestic violence is that women can be assholes, too. And in this particular case I honestly believe that Taylor was the instigator of the violence. She lies, she manipulates – she is an awful person. Even in her fight with Camille for coming out and calling Russ a wife beater, she still is hinting at that with anyone who will talk to her. Truly vile.
Speaking of Kyle – who dresses her? She has a cute shape, but she insists on dressing like some Dorothy Zbornak/Courtney Stoddard hybrid. Get a gay, woman!
What NWMTV said.
Also, what Ohralphie said.
I watch a lot of tv and I’ve seen some crazily edited therapy sessions, but this one took the cake for sheer lack of clarity. Talk about beating around the bush. In every sense, come to the think of it. And yes, Sue Sylvester, that osteopath is Dr Drew’s go-to guy for family sessions on Celebrity Rehab.
@ Sue Sulvester! Yes, I was thinking that the whole time. Thanks for the confirm @maryedith!
Who gets up and just leaves a therapy session? GROSS GROSS GROSS!
Vyle’s dress was a pretty color on her but, she needs a tailor and a stylist, Spanks and some double sided tape, stat! Why does she always put her hair halfway up at every function they go to btw? Style it or cut it.
Oh and where is Kim? How long does it take to move? Jeebus.
I knew I’d seen that osteopissed somewhere before. Dr. Drew has trained him well, but he needs to step it up if he’s has any aspirations of matching Pinsky’s death toll.
An osteopath is a doctor. They go to medical school just like an MD and learn the same stuff. The difference is the philosophy behind how they treat people. MDs tend toward treating symptoms. Have a headache? MD will give you pill to kill the pain of the headache. A DO is more likely to try and find out why you are having headaches and treat that so you don’t keep having headaches. And they don’t just to muscle/skeletal manipulations either. Though some do as part of their treatment, they aren’t a chiropractor. And they can specialize just like an MD. I have known an anesthesiologist who was a DO. I’ve known one who specialized in respiratory medicine. They can be ER docs, surgeons, psychiatrists, OB/GYNs, radiologists, etc. Basically any job that can be filled by an MD can be filled by a DO. The best doctor I have ever had was a DO.
Am I the only one who feels manipulated every time I watch a scene with Russell and/or Failor? I can’t help but remember that this season was re-edited and this is what they decided they wanted me to see AFTER knowing the guy killed himself. I wish they had just cut the two of them out of the season completely.
And I think I understand Brandi. That idea of a blowjob lesson by a porn star? I would TOTALLY go to that. Not necessarily to learn the skills but to laugh my ass off for the evening and every time we talk about it afterward. I mean, how could that party not be funny? But Kyle and the other nuns would just find it obscene. They so need to get over themselves! Could you imagine Lisa at a thing like that? “I’m sorry Dahling but I only even look at him naked on his birthday and Christmas and I wouldn’t want to get that close in case he let one slip.”
Thanks for a great recap!
@maryedith: I was thinking that too.
Back doctor: “So, Russel, when you get angry, you…”
Dead Russel: “It gets ugly.”
BD: “And when you’re angry with Taylor, you…”
DR: “I lose control…”
BD: “And when Taylor pushes your buttons and you lose control, you…”
DR: “Did you hear the microwave ding? I think my fish sticks are ready!!”
Did you notice that at the end of the runway show everyone stood up and aplauded except Miss Kyle. She kept her ass firmly in the seat.
Lisa is such a lady, taking crap from everyone and yet still apologizing just to end the arguement. Love her.
It was difficult to watch the therapy session with Taylor and
Ol’ Dead Eyes. I am confused that Taylor is/was upset with Camille bringing up her abuse (and assume it is because she did it on camera) but it is Okay to have the therapy session on TV? It brings the question as to why therapy if they were not going discuss the abuse. Is she just playing to the cameras?
Where in the world is Dana? I saw her sitting at the runway show but her screen time is dismal. Who at Bravo did she piss off or is it because she has no personality? Does she still get paid the big bucks for doing the show? These questions haunt me.
Also love these recaps, Flipit, and how quickly you crank these out and still get in some great lines.
But Kyle and the other nuns would just find it obscene
Nah. Kyle is just worried that Bravo might be able to talk Paris into giving the lessons. That would be AWKWARD.
Even the editing could not save us from the shot of a real woman standing behind the ladies with her finger in her ear. I had to rewind to see if my eyes were playing tricks on me. Shame on them for bringing me back to the reality in that moment.
LOL @ crankyguy So true!
OMFG “sad I’m dead now horns”…can’t…stop…laughing <3 you Flip!
Flipit you RULE!!!
Let’s do a little history lesson. In season one, Taylor said Camille was insecure. Kim called her on it. Taylor then hated Kim for calling her on her BS. Taylor stirred the Camille/Kyle pot (Camille admitted that later in a blog). Lisa called her on it. Taylor then hated Lisa. Now Taylor loves both Kim and Lisa but hates Camille because….Camille called her on her BS.
Hang in there Camille. Sooner or later someone else will point out an inconsistency then YOU’RE FRIENDS AGAIN YAAAAAAAAAAAH! Ugh.
So basically Ad’s Maloof hoof’s (or is it hooves?) consists of going to your closet, picking out your favorite pairs, hire a group of peeps to copy them, and lastly slap your own brand on them (with a diamond of course!!). Way to break a sweat there Ad!! Also, when Ad showed her ass to Lisa, Lisa should have sweetly thanked her and said “Pandora Would Love to Have two parties, Thank you!! What time should they arrive?” Ad wouldn’t known what to say!!
Dr. Sophy may be a fame whore (IS a fame whore), but he is also a certified psychiatrist. His original medical degree is in osteopathy; I wonder why Bravo chose to put that particular credential under his name. I still feel insulted by that scene. There was no difference between Taylor in that office and Taylor in the limo afterward — in both scenes she was doing her best to steer the discussions away from any mention of physical abuse. And in both scenes it was clear that Russell had no idea he had been accused of it. Either that or he was completely insane — too insane to be walking around or holding down a job. Taylor has a cold, steely ability to control these situations that makes her seem less and less like an abuse victim to me.
I would have Ad host my damn bacholerette party if it were a choice between that and having to wear those clunky, plastic shoes. I saw better shoes on Project Accessory!
@Snootchy – Blowjob class – totally hysterical and fun. And who couldn’t benefit from a little continuing education. You never know what handy tips you may pick up.
So Ad not only rips off someone elses shoe design she then takes a piece of jewelry from her collection and plops that on as her logo. Pure genius!
Looking forward to a Failor meltdown next week. It looks epic.
Maybe Failor was REALLY into the Snapped marathons on Oxygen. Just sayin’.
So when do the designers come a calling to Ads house with lawsuits? Or do the designers only care about the Kartrashians ripping them off?
This episode finally showed what a pathological lying monster Faylor is. When she was in the limo with Russ, Vyle and Mauri, Russ said that ‘Camille is saying things about both of them that are patently untrue’, and that he didn’t really know what she had a problem with. And Faylor immediately said ‘me neither’ as in she has no idea what Cam was talking about! WTF??? This one scene proves beyond any doubt that Faylor was lying through her teeth, not only the whole season, but most likely for the last few years, when telling the ‘stories’ of her abuse etc. She not only lied to the women, she also clearly lied to Russ, making up stories of conflict with the cast, and inventing reasons for their ‘persecution’ of her. It was really upsetting, and totally sad, to see that man (as bad as he was in other respects, e.i. the fraud, the money cons etc.) so completely unaware that his wife painted him out to be a total monster, while at the same time portraying herself as a perpetual victim, both to the women, and to him. He obviously had no idea that Vyle and Mauri were so uncomfortable because they could not square away Faylor’s stories with the reality the saw before them. He seemed really protective of her, and clearly upset that someone was attacking her. All based on the lies that she spread, about herself and others. For a moment there I thought that maybe I’m jumping to conclusions, but then they did a quick cut-away to Vyle’s face when Faylor said she didn’t know what was Cam’s problem with her. And Vyle had the same reaction I did – ARE YOU FU@KING KIDDING ME????
I felt for a very long time that Faylor was a total sh!t, but this episode gave me even more insight into her sick mind. She NEEDS conflict in her life, she NEEDS to have someone be the bad guy out to get her, and she will create the friction and then use it to make herself look like a victim. I believe that this is the only way she can find any value in her own life, by feeding off the sympathy and support she gets based on these lies, and she does not care who she hurts or damages, or how badly. She is a pathological liar who, when caught in a lie, will turn around and immediately try to shift the blame for it onto anyone who’s convenient at the time. She clearly ruined Russell’s reputation and his life. Poor, poor kid, Kennedy, with that sick, mentally deranged monster for a mother.
Look, there’s no way on earth that Russell didn’t know about all the abuse talk and wasn’t in on furthering the “abuse no one will address” story line. You think it wasn’t obvious that the osteopath was trying to get him to say he beats Failor? You think he wasn’t coached by the producers to dodge around the issue to keep the “did Failor cry wolf” mystery going for another week? The Housewives shows have one arrow in their quiver: have the whores say one thing and show them doing the exact opposite. So, they talk about how much their marriage has improved even while we know, in real life, that Russell’s already dead. I guess we at home eat that shit up, because we get more and more of it every week.
You can argue how much of this show is fake/set up, but you can’t argue that ANYONE on camera doesn’t know EXACTLY what’s expected of them. Russel was nobody’s innocent victim. If he didn’t want to be part of the abuse story line, he would have never appeared on camera at all. And probably would have been crying in the tabloids about how Failor was using the show to assassinate his character.
I know that being able to suspending your disbelief makes the show more fun, but everybody’s seriously going out of their minds like there are real villains and victims here. Taylor’s no worse than anybody else on the franchise; they’re all marinated in scum. She’s just a little crazier, and cares a little less how she looks in the pursuit of precious, delicious, self-actualizing airtime.
It’s not so obvious that Russell was in the loop as far as Taylor’s accusations to the other fame whores was concerned. As a minor character, he probably just signed on the dotted line in order for his wife to be cast. What IS obvious, is that Taylor is one fucked-up, needy sociopath.
@polk@dot, and also, she NEEDED to have the abuse excuse in her back pocket for whenever Russell’s con games threatened to get her as well as him into trouble. The more I read about Russell’s background the more I think Taylor is just a grifter, plain and simple.
@notwithoutmytv, I pretty much agree except that Russell would have been part of Taylor’s abuse storyline whether or not he had agreed to be on tv. I get the impression she pretty much controlled what he thought the show was about. I think, for instance, that his paranoia about Lisa spreading gossip about Taylor was fed to him by Taylor and no one else.
Thank God for your recaps, they allow me to take the phony high road if this show is ever mentioned.
*sniffs disparagingly*
“I don’t watch that crap.”
No offense Notwomytv your posts seem to show you going out of your mind. You, like us, have no idea what was going on behind the scenes.
Yeah, labowner, but I think it is healthy to remind oneself every so often that we only see what the producers put out there.
Umm, yes we do know what was going on behind the scenes.
A man was on the verge of killing himself. His wife was telling people he beat her and Ad is just as petty as the rest of them. That much we do know.
Wonderful recap flipit. Thank’s.
LOW BATONS??? **dogs barking due to hysterical laughter** Ti Amo, Flipit, Ti Amo…
@labowner: I’m mad as a hatter, but I blame society. And MTV. And maybe corn syrup manufacturers. And Congress. Definitely Congress.
But back on topic, I don’t think RoBH is that good at–or even cares enough to–hide the fakery. I still say that if you combine the edited stuff on the show that doesn’t make a lick of sense with the rumors and “news” on the Interwebz, subtract out the alien kidnappings and eye witness reports that place Taylor at Motel 6 with sasquatch, and you can make a pretty decent guess at what’s going on behind the scenes. We’re not as stupid as Candyass Cohen thinks. Are we?
All I want to know is – were the prices for the invitations that they were flashing across the screen real? ‘Cause I could have sworn that the god awful pink “pandora’s box” was shown to be $150.00 each? That’s as sick as Ad’s $1,200 water goblet.
You mean Failor wasn’t screwing a sasquatch??!! Damn.
@mimo, yes those ugly ass invitations were shown at 150 dollars, each. I highly doubt that Lisa only invited 100 people….! She keeps saying this this is not going to be a million dollar wedding, but it seems to me that Pandy is getting everything that she wants so I can guess that Pandy is getting a million dollar wedding.
Also didn’t Pandy say that the Owner of the HardRock called and told her that he wanted to have her party there? It seems to me that Ad is jelious about that fact, and she is probably pissed that she didn’t think of it first! Well that is how I see it. But Ad’s shoes…yuck! I am not a heel kind of gal, give me a pair of flip flops and I am set! Found the best pair in San Diego a few years ago and they are so comfy! They are made out of yogo mat material, f-ing love them. Does anyone know how much her shoes are? Also I kind of thought that the models would be wearing her shoes as well!
go look at Lisa and Kyle’s blog this week …. I cant wait for the reunion
On WWHL they showed Ad’s shoes & one pair was $1,500! I was thinking, “THAT’S AFFORDABLE to EVERYONE?!
I saw a post today on my Facebook that completely explains these drama ridden women. D.R.A.M.A. Desperately Reaching At More Attention.
Super-boring episode.
Kyle- You aren’t allowed to get offended by the word “cock”, then claim to give a good BJ. Either she was just pretending to be offended by the word cuz Brandi said it and it happened to be the first thing Kyle could get her hands on in order to make her look bad, or she is not good at giving a BJ. Too conflicting.
Lisa- Iv’e also been forced to apologize for something that I had no clue would ever be taken personally by a friend. It prob never crossed her mind for even a second that Ad might take her hotel choice personally. Who gives a shit!? Ad shoulda let it go based on intent (or lackthereof) alone. Lisa apologized to shut Ad up, and that’s all she could do.
Tay and Russ-These two need to either grow some balls, or get off my screen. Cam called tay out at the tea party cause the women are fed up with Tay’s implications and expectations of sympathy for what she might or might not be enduring. If you’re gonna imply you are being abused, then I can’t and won’t help you. I refuse to investigate and dig into vague BS to save someone. I’ll do anything for a friend, but I won’t humor someone with non-specific attention without the respect of being informed. If he’s abusive and you want support/help, fucking say it. Otherwise, keep your mouth shut altogether until you’re ready to make an official accusation. And if Russ is so convinced that Lisa talked to the press, then he should confront her only instead of fishing for another HW to tattle, and sending random pointless emails. I don’t give a shit if he abused her, and we’ll never know cause he’s dead so fuck it.
Cam- She officially won me over at tea, and continues to by not having apologized for it. Because of her finally laying the shit on the table,Tay can’t obtain sympathy based on unclear, inconsistent nonsense, and we get to watch her squirm in regret and terror, praying Russ doesn’t find out what she’s led the others to believe about him. She doesn’t want help, just attention and others to feel sorry for her enough to let her in the cool-kid club out of pity. FAIL!
I’m guessing Brandi never hired this porn star before. Because if she really knew how to give a good blow job, maybe she’d have never lost her man to an anorexic country singer.
I miss Kim! I do understand why she’s not around, though. Last season she was picked on by the lot, with only Adrienne being somewhat diplomatic while Kyle, Lisa, and Taylor hinted at her addiction. Who needs these bitches! All three are in loveless marriages (yes, even Kyle..because no happy woman would be that bitter and attention seeking; poor Mauri-doesn’t-emotionally-fulfill-me horns) and so they love to look down on others. I can see why they’re so dissatisfied. Heck, I’d suffer a slap from Russell before I’d bed down Ken and his Keith Richards wig. Shoot, with these Househusbands, maybe it’s better to stay single. Paul seems sweet but I wouldn’t want him flopping on top of me like a walrus, either. No wonder Adrienne asked how to say “Hurry up!” in three different languages.
Here’s the prime example of Taylor being a complete liar. In the limo she said that Camille said something terrible and untrue. Russel repeated, yes, she said something terrible and untrue. The clip Bravo then showed was of Camille saying you tell us he hits you and then you come over with no bruises. In Russel was alive he would see that Camille was on his side against Taylor’s accusations. Sadly, he trusted his wife who presumably said Camille was making up lies about us, just as last season she snuck into Camile’s hotel room to tell her what the other girls were saying. Taylor is just a sick person all around. Reality shows cast nutcases, that how it goes. Russel was probably sick too, but they were a good pair. Also, notice when Russel said Taylor gets angry, then Taylor snapped at him and intimidated him into retracting it. He looked fearful of her. I have never seen a man who controls and abuses his wife be intimidated like that.
@Sarcastaire- I dig it.
Ok, brass tax, this is all very 90210 (the original):
Russell=Scott Scanlon/Ray Pruit, Taylor=Donna Martin,
Kim=Kelly Taylor,
Kyle= Brenda Walsh, Maurico=Brandon Walsh,
Dana=Andrea Zuckerman,
Brandi=Valerie Malone,
Lisa=Gina Kincaid, Ken=Steve Sanders,
Adrienne=Cindy Walsh, Paul-Jim Walsh
Ace Young can be Dylan I suppose, we’re lacking an A plot line character in that bucket.
Key:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beverly_Hills,_90210
Yeah, maybe there are some cast members missing but you get the drift.
Point is, this is all scripted/edited b.s., like anything else produced in LA LA land. We’ve seen it all before except in this case, this is really life imitating art (term used VERY loosely, of course). IMO there’s just no other way to look at this and not make fun of it for the ridiculousness that is had turned into. Fact is, I don’t care if Russell abused Taylor or not, anymore (if I ever did). I just want to watch the EPIC FAIL that is this mess of a re-edited, scripted cast of assholes, fall apart on TV. Mission accomplished Bravo.
So I assume Adrienne doesn’t realize that the family friend offered Pandy the bachlorette party as a gift. It wasn’t something Lisa asked for. I guess Adrienne will know next time to offer such a gift so she can get the publicity and not her competition.
Not to say that I would have been looking for tips but the bj party seems like it would have been fun. The porn star comes, you drink alot of wine, someone asks a question that’s a little inappropriate and everyone has giggle fits, then someone is actually a little too serious about the techinque and you all giggle, then someone is actually really good at it and you realize why their marriage is good and you make jokes about it the next time you see the husband…so I listed the pros in this situation…what are the cons?
(sorry for the run on sentence)
The con would be that the porn star that showed up was Ridickulous!
Did I spell that right?
Very true sheesh…smh
What was the point of Adrienne telling Lisa “I’ll be in Vegas that weekend”? Seriously.
She was showing her ass left and right.
Given that she usually holds it together, I’m going to give Ad the benefit of the doubt and say she was nervous about the fashion show.
Check with Pheadrea – I bet he offers that class!
Anyone wanna see Ridickulous perform his special stunt? Well, here goes..(naturally, NSFW)
http://mommysdirtylittlesecret.com/2011/11/29/nsfw-ladies-atlanta-stripper-redickulous-shows-us-the-impossible/
I was saving it for the ATL recap but since Brandi brought up BJ’s..I figure an ATL/BH crossover is imminent.
@Tmurda, didn’t Cam say she had apologised “over and over” for what she said? But that TRaylor wasn’t answering her apology texts? I think Cam may have just got lucky at the tea party; she’ll have to do the right thing again before I change my mind about her.
@maryedith-I must have missed that convo. I mean, Cam will always be an asshole, reguardless of anything likeable that she does. I mean, who sends an apology in a text?! She’s even an asshole when she’s apologizing to someone! Hilarious. Still hate Camille, but love what she did at tea. I just happen to loathe tay on a deeper level than Cam this season, I suppose. Taylor should send all the other women an apology txt saying “I’m totes sorry 4 dangling such juicy gossip in front of you 4 the last 6 months so u’d like me
My bad! xoxo”
Oh, I totes agree that Traylor is the worst. I know it’s probably edited that way and all, but even so she is just scum on a stick.
@Tmurda, it was at the lunch that Kyle, Cam and Ad had together without the others. Same convo where Ad first said she was annoyed with Lisa over the Planet Hollywood thing. And didn’t Cam say she had left voice mails too but Taylor didn’t return her calls? And then she sent texts?
Nope, I was wrong. She just said she texted. Still had that ep so I took a look.
“Hi T, sorry i accused u of lying about abuse, txtmebckbye, C”
Notwomty – I believe Andy seperates work from personnal. How else can he live with himself knowing the crap he puts on TV and that maybe just maybe his company was the last straw for a man who decided to end it all. I don’t think he actually cares about us the viewers. He thought it would be a good idea to edit the crap out of this season as opposed to scrapping it and getting another one up in a few months. All he cares about his the bottom line and keeping his job in the public eye. Who in their right mind as a boss allows an employee to be physcially violent with them and carries on as if nothing happened?
@gypsy, o.m.g. Gina Kincaid? Adore