-
TV Social
Login
Recent Comments
- NotWithoutMyTV: If you put on 3-D glasses and stare at Carrie’s vag area long enough, the roses fly off...
- Robin: http://www.celebitchy.com/2932 14/did_leann_rimes_buy_thousan ds_of_robot_twitter_followers_ last_week/
- chaosbutterfly: Dear Juliette, http://25.media.tumblr.com/...
- zbird: I feel like we need to discuss Mary’s perm! LOL!
- zbird: Potty, are you coming back? Soon? I’m dying here! xoxoxoxo
- lestermaddox: I was glad that Kellie won this season – she really deserved it. While Zendaya has obvious dance...
- Faye: If her clothing line is unsucessful she could join forces with the other Corey for that Goonies sequel we were...
- Tracy: But that dress! Could be Itchy’s scary new avatar!
- plockness monster: I have been racking my brain to figure out who she looks like in that pic and I figured it out....
- plockness monster: She wears a wig?!
Hot Shows
-
Fresh Tweets!
- RT @YAMAMASBOX: TYVM! #FF RT@chris_lala @RHOGossip @TVGasm @catommanney @iRealHousewives @RealityLick @GretchenRossi @itsNABIL @glasscloset… 8 hours ago
- RT @bbwraven: #FF @WhatCrappens not only the best Bravo podcast but the funniest! Thx u hosts @bsideblog @TVGasm @lifeontheMlist plus they… 8 hours ago
- RT @SioMonroe: #FF (our friendship might be in question if you don't) @WhatCrappens @lifeontheMlist @bsideblog @TVGasm @timmonslisa @flipit… 8 hours ago
- What is it funny or something? #arresteddevelopment #season4 #top10tv #memorialdaymarathon goo.gl/4uLOy @netflix 19 hours ago
- Forget Pamplona Spain, The Icing of the Balls in the ATL is where it's at #DontBeTardy Recap goo.gl/Vk9nT @Kimzolciak 19 hours ago
- "Go forth and keep Portland weird." #NBCGrimm Recap goo.gl/VmGMo @MrReggieLee @Just_Monroe 1 day ago
- Jenn's crotch is bullying me! #badgirlsclub Recap goo.gl/2O7re 1 day ago
- Can you give me your peanut butter and jelly sandwich recipe? #Married2Med Recap goo.gl/qEqe8 1 day ago
- RT @stoopidhsewives: @BravoTV #WWHL Beats @ChelseaLately in Ratings... @TVGasm "It's TV!" With Ronnie and Carrie … wp.me/p19GVk-gv6 v… 1 day ago
- All chained up an no place to go #Revolution Recap goo.gl/LtIzN @nbcrevolution @nbc 1 day ago
- Thought you might like our version of #Newlyweds ! tvgasm.com/home/behind-th… xo @blairlate 1 day ago
- New epi of IT's TV!! tvgasm.com/home/behind-th… @gracehelbig @lanyardtwerk @aguywithnolife @laurensivan @thewrap @zap2it @nikkifinke @logotv 1 day ago
- New epi of IT's TV!! tvgasm.com/home/behind-th… @fuggirls @pajiba @vulture @sepinwall @queermeup @thebravoblonde @previouslyTV @jeffreestar 1 day ago
- New epi of IT's TV!! tvgasm.com/home/behind-th… @deggans @sarahthyre @jonathanadler @theavclub @roblowe @thebravoholic @jarettsays @bravopr 1 day ago
- New epi of IT's TV!! tvgasm.com/home/behind-th… @SarahsSecrets4u @vodka4dummies @2guysplusbaby @tomatonation @michcoll @radar_online 1 day ago
- New epi of It's TV! tvgasm.com/home/behind-th… @annadavid @gracehelbig @lanyardtwerk @aguywithnolife @laurensivan @jeffreestar @ewanniebarrett 1 day ago
- Luis is showing his slimy side rank amateurism astute professionalism by doctoring photos of the townhouse before he puts them in his listi 1 day ago
- I need at least 150 characters to make fun of these shows #top10tv goo.gl/ZGf7H 1 day ago
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
1:06 am
72 Comments
Previously on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Kyle put some chicken fingers from Costco on some toothpicks and raised five dollars for kids with cancer,
Some chunky moron came on the scene with sunglasses made out of kids with cancer,
One of these poor bastards even knew how to play piano!
And Brandi thought everyone considered her a slut cuz she used a bad word.
Walks like a duck, talks like a duck, it’s a slut.
We open with Lisa, who’s at home abusing her maid while trying to teach her how to properly set a table.
Cry one moah time and I’ll cut of youah hand and feed it to Fergie.
Meanwhile, Ken and Giggy are becoming the same person.
Double silent faht
Pandora, she of the claw hair, is coming over for dinner with her gay boyfriend and his parents. Max is at home while Lisa pretends to cook, and Lisa listens in on his phone conversation. She’s thrilled and scared when he tells the 777-FILM guy on the other line “I love you, too!” before hanging up. What does this mean? Is her boy growing up? Is he in love or was he just trying to cover up the end of his weed order? Lisa doesn’t know, but she vows to get to the bottom of it. She just hopes that if it is a girl, she’s not…
…a dog. Taylor has Dana over to “make cookies”. What’s with the pretend cooking today? Failor’s in a tight micro mini. Ladies, you’ve already landed rich ugly men. Relax! Watch some TV and let yourselves go. Wait. Not you Dana. Get a stairmaster and chew on some air or something. You’re just engaged. Dana’s wearing an “I’m not fat, it’s the dress” dress. Dana is the size of a normal woman. Unfortunately for her, she’s in a town without normal women. Sad too fat for this zipcode horns.
Your butt makes that dress look fat.
After Dana pretends she doesn’t know what a microwave is (it’s the thing you put the Ben and Jerry’s in for thirty seconds so you don’t chip another crown, ya heifer), the girls start shit talking about the bbq. Brandi said “the c-o-c-k word!” Taylor thought she could be friends with Brandi, since they’re both squeezing the rich men in their lives for everything they’re worth, but she cursed in public! What a heathen! Something’s off with Taylor’s face tonight. Half of it is Asian and the other half is a crumpled up brown paper bag. Time to stop buying surgery off Living Social.
The conversation moves to game night. Taylor wants Dana to have the party cuz she’s soooo traumatized from whatever it is that she does with her life. “For once I wanna be a guest!” For once? LOL! The only time she’s ever thrown a party was that embarrassing $65,000 kid party where she danced on the table and embarrassed America and women and humanity. Dana agrees to have the party at her place. She’ll serve only ice cream and vodka, and her son will speak ten languages, tap dance, and do fractions as entertainment. Then he’ll shit his pants.
Sorry about your tiny wiener.
Kyle goes to lunch with a hairless sow that got its neck stuck on a doorjamb and kept running.
Ouch. That’s gotta hurt.
They do the whole “God I’m so busy buying stuff” routine before they get right to the shit talk. What does Kyle think of Brandi?
She’s a gimp whore. Let’s buy something. I’m bored.
She says B isn’t a good girl and she’s tacky and crass. Ad doesn’t really care that B’s kid pissed on the grass and that B used the c word. She shrugs off Kyle’s bitching and turns the conversation on Kim, totally tattle taling on the poor ICON for being on meth or whatever.
I just got a bill from the airline because Kim’s armrest on the plane tested positive for chlamydia and crack cocaine. DO SOMETHING.
Ad tip toes around the subject and just says Kim acted strange and Paul thought she might be wasted. Kyle just says Kim’s sounded wasted since she was five and then she turns the conversation around to how hard Kim’s wackiness is on her. Poor Kim is never gonna get help at this rate. Her intervention will go something like this: Kyle: Are you drunk? I wish I was drunk, but I can’t get drunk because Mom made me promise to be the designated driver and it makes me resent you god my husband’s hot sorry you’re alone I’m gonna call Camille on a blocked line and tell her she’s insecure. BYEEEEE!
Ad suspects this episode is boring as fuck so far, so she goes to meet Brandi somewhere that Dana might just happen to show up at: an ice cream store.
Sorry I don’t know where this pic came from, but while we’re here, YOU’RE STILL FAT.
Ad asks if Brandi had fun at the bbq, and B says that she did have fun if you consider being judged by a bunch of aging cocksucking harpies fun. B admits that it was in bad taste to make fun of Dana’s ugly dude cheating on her, even though it’s probably true. Ad says she should just let that kinda stuff go or get super rich so no one dares fuck with you at parties. Good advice. I learned something! Another thing I’ve learned from this show is that plastic surgery makes your face really itchy. These bitches scratch more than pound puppies.
Ad comforts B by saying people must be jealous of her. All the girls are in line to get dumped by a guy that’s way hotter than them publicly now. Then she scratches her nose.
Brandi wants to have a party, but she’ll only do it if Ad makes the girls come. Ad promises to do just that. If you can’t bond with a girl over bad surgery, there’s nothing left. Instead of shaking, they itch their noses together. It’s like a sad rubber circle jerk.
Pointless Party time! These useless parties are really good for the rental economy.
Embarrassing!
It’s Game Night at Dana’s. Might I suggest pin the tail on the donkey? I wanna hear Dana squeal. Kyle is the first to arrive, and Dana comes clunking down the stairs really looooudly and sloooowly. Kyle likes Dana’s outfit, and Dana thanks her in the language of sad white trash clawing their way up the social ladder: “Valentino!” Kyle wants to respond “Um, Target!” HAHAHAH! Brandi hobbles up to the house. She’s going to wait to eat with everyone else. Unfortunately, her ass isn’t. Binge in private, slut ass!
Brandi compliments Dana’s outfit, so Dana says “Valentinoooo!” again. HAHAHAHAH!! WHAT A DICK! Now Kyle is stuck with fat nouveau riche Dana and slut cock face Brandi. She gives us suicide face. Foreshadowing!
Super long two minutes as Brandi hobbles noisily into the game room. Dana clunks loudly to get a drink and is sure to leave a trail of “I can’t walk in these Fendis!” assholeishness behind her. AWKWARD! Kyle faces away from Brandi for awhile and then slowly looks back to see if she’s still there. I am loving every second of this.
Cock. She hasn’t even scratched her cock sucking nose once. I’m fucked. With a cock.
Total silence and dirty looks. Then Dana comes clunking back in talking about how one of her implants was adopted from Taiwan and you can hear it speak Japanese if you put the saline sack up to your ear for long enough. Think this can’t get any more uncomfortable?
Kyle snarks “I have NEVER. Been so happy to see Camille.” HAHA. She says hi to Cam, and Cam gives her a too long “I’m pretending I love you deeply while waiting for my violent shart to pass so I don’t have to change my tights before the party starts” hug.
Camille’s “I’m pretending I love you deeply while waiting for my violent shart to pass so I don’t have to change my tights before the party starts” hug.
Dana has gone all out with game themed desserts, and Camille is honored that Dana bought meringues shaped like unhealthy poo to symbolize her lifelong struggle with exlax addiction IBS.
Nothing says “I wanna be friends” like a good ole fashioned IBS cookie.
Camille fakes it well, but she tells us in a husky, tough talkin’ voice that Dana’s house is empty and all she had was a sad table of dessert and breadsticks. LOL! I am loving this chain smoking, over it Camille. It’s making me really sad.
Camille’s an asshole. And I….like it? WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?!?!?
Taylor shows up next. I think it’s funny that Tay wears the same kind of dress to look fatter as Dana does to look thinner.
Not working in either case.
Taylor shows up fake laughing and acting kinda wasted. “Something’s going ooooon heeeeere!” Huh? Taylor just please don’t talk. Dana’s phone rings, and it’s a ringer the Black Eyed Peas wrote just for her. It’s Ad. She’s not coming. Kyle’s PISSED. Love it. Brandi is more scared than Cibrian was after the first night he slept with her and woke up with a connect the dots game on his COCK.
Drew Barrymore? Is that you? Could you maybe turn down the lights a little?
Much better.
Kim shows up last, and it’s now dark. The weather inside hasn’t changed, though. Silent and sad. She talks to the flowers while she waits at the door, and when Dana answers, she calls her Pam. HAHAHA! Dana corrects her, and Kim says the naughty flowers lied to her. She’s all disheveled and slurry, so Kyle fixes her outfit for her as Kim looks Brandi up and down and asks if she’s cold. LOLOLOLOLLLLLL!! Kim makes addiction look like the funnest life choice ever. She slurs that she’s gonna go to the bathroom to fix her makeup cuz she put it on in the car. Kyle knows that means she saw the dealer earlier in the day, so she follows her. Kim complains that the bathroom is so dirty that she has to clean it to see herself. God bless her. It’s clean! It’s the reflection that needs some fixing, and Mauricio won’t put money for surgery into her drunk in law’s allowance bank account. Just deal.
Kyle sticks her head out to announce to the room that they’ll be a couple of minutes, and Kim sluryells “I’m cleaning your house!” HAHA! Dana tries not to show how offended she is on her face, but it doesn’t work. It looks like someone’s trying to force feed her a carrot.
She traded them for knock of Fendis.
Camille starts talking about her Hawaii house, conveniently leaving out the part where she tried to ban Frasier’s daughter from entering. Not that I’m judging. There’s nothing more American than revising history. Camille’s a shining beacon of patriotism tonight. Dana laughs too big and says she wants to visit Camille, who answers with a warm smile, a hug, and invite. Or none of those things.
There’s a silent pause, so Dana just laughs hard and says “Don’t even kid!”, like Cam just invited her. HAHA. Failor knows that Dana’s trying too hard, and she’s embarrassed for her. This is the woman who crawled into a suitcase and dry humped Kim in a thong two weeks ago. Maybe the embarrassment is just a delayed reaction. Brandi hobbles away, and there is pure disdain in the the sound of those crutches. Dana is still begging Cam to invite her to Hawaii.
In the bathroom, Kim slurs that she’s having panic attacks because she hasn’t eaten or slept in seven days and she’s having fluttering heartbeat and dry mouth and she’s crying a lot. In other words, she’s bragging that she got her hands on some really good shit. Kyle’s like uhhuh that’s great hurry up wahwah my husband’s hot you’re single don’t cry why are you sad you’re career’s over and you’re kids are gone hurry let’s go make fun of Brandi. They finally come out of the bathroom, Kim’s literal cry for help ignored. Kyle would be a terrible 911 operator. Hang up on your ass.
Taylor says that Kim seemed like a mess, but it’s not like it was anything new. Kim is slurring (I know I’m using that word a lot, but how else do you say it?) and hugging Camille too long over talk of the ski trip. She has a special diet coke that she makes the bartender put in a glass for her, and Kyle tests it and reports to us that it was fine. I don’t think at this point anyone’s worried about alcoholism. We just want to know where she gets that meth! You can live a life in blissful oblivion AND keep your teeth? I’M IN! Kim calls Dana Pam a couple of more times and I have to pause the TV because I am laughing so hard at her crazy ass. Is she wearing the exact same thing she wore on the plane to Sacramento? God, she hasn’t even changed clothes. Thankfully, she’s too tired to hump any of the rented furniture. She looks around the room, as if for the first time. “IS THAT CAKE?” She really breathes life into this show. Granted, that breath would break a breathalyzer, but still. It’s a feat.
Time for Lisa’s dinner party! Old Fartin’ is here! Gay Boyfriend’s parents are here! Stoner Son is here! Gay BF and Pandy are here! So many people, so little personality. Lisa wants them to get married. I don’t, because it means more of this. Gay BF and Pandy are getting married! Lisa cries as I wipe tears of boredom away. Unless someone’s gonna call Pandy Pam and wipe off the bathroom mirror, I have no interest in this scene. Lisa makes a joke that she loves Gay Fiancé like her her son. “Well, more than my son.” Rude! Stoner Kid burps up weed smoke and flips her off. Ken wants to make a speech, but Lisa says no so he lets out a silent fart so deadly Gay Fiancé’s mom faints.
Back at Game Night, Kim calls Dana Pam a couple of more times before going to the bathroom to snort Ajax or whatever the fuck she’s on. She makes Kyle leave the bathroom to “do one thing on my own.” The camera men are there, but I guess I’d drop the cam too if I knew I was about to taste the best shit ever. Let’s cut them some slack for not getting incriminating footage. Meanwhile, Brandi tells us that she used to be a model back in the early nineties when Bill Blass came out with his line of veils and she knows a drug addict when she sees one.
In completely unrelated news, Taylor looks like a big bonfire of melting tires.
For once, I’m agreeing with the TV ratings system. Children should not be watching old rubber ladies unhinging their jaws. Nightmares lead to low test scores and early anorexia.
Everyone’s hungry now, but Dana only has dessert. When in Rome, buy a fucking plane ticket and get out of there before you gain thirty pounds and look like a Roman. Those are a sad people.
Game time! They’re playing Celebrity. Dana splits people up on teams, and she puts Brandi on the same team as Kim and Kyle. Kim says as loudly as she can slur that she doesn’t wanna be on team Brandi. Kyle cackles and Brandi keeps her mouth shut. She does, however, get her crutches closer so she can beat a bitch if she has to.
Crouching Tiger Hidden Crutch up a Richards’ Sister Cornhole
When it’s B’s turn to give clues, she says “Um…a famous black man that’s not Martin Luther King”. HAHAHAH. Kim sluryells “Martin Lawrence! Lawrence Henderson! Harry and the Hendersons! Harry Hamlin! Ham! Spam! Spamalot! Salem’s Lot! Salem Indiana! Music Man! Terrence Man! Terri Hatcher!” and Brandi’s like “No. Um….when you go to pray you go to…”
Kim: Toilet! Porcelain God! Godrick! True Blood! Bloody Mary! Mary Poppins! Popcorn!
Kyle: Church?
Brandi: Yes! His first name is a cigarette….
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!
If every black person in America said “OH HELL NO” at once but there were no white people acknowledging their existence, is there anyone to get offended?
Stupid. Fucking. White. Bitches.
Brandi skips and goes again. Brandi: “OK! Best rapper in the world!”
Kim: Brad Pitt! Pit stain! Stain stopper! Stop the insanity! Susan Powter! Cocaine! BRB going to bathroom.
No one can believe she thought Brad Pitt was a rapper, and she says “I thought you said Brat Pack!” Poor Brad Pitt is somewhere in the hills totally mortified right now. On the bright side, Emilio Esteves feels like a total badass. Their time runs out, and Kyle half heartedly guesses “Jay Z.” Brandi’s like “White guys don’t rap, Kyle.”
Kim gives clues to only Kyle, and they’re all celebs they’ve hung out with, been invited to parties by, or taken Paris to the clinic to be deloused after sleeping with. Brandi is openly pissed now, because the sisters are being way rude. She has a right to be. No wonder Kathy won’t hang out with those witches. Dana’s turn to give clues! She introduces herself as Pam, but the joke falls way flat and Kim slurs something un-rewind worthy about it. Dana gives her a fake “Kidding! I love you!” and Kim pulls a “I could be injecting something under my toenail right now and you’re just wasting my damn time” face and says “You really love me?” Dana brushes it off and says “I love your soul.” Dana is just painful to watch. Kim stumbles off to the bathroom to get the mirror clean enough to do lines off of. She’ll put chemicals into her body, but she draws the line at poor people pretending to be rich dust.
The game stops so Kyle can go get Kim out of the bathroom. Brandi says that her team hates her and is obviously wasted. Kim and Kyle meet in the bathroom and shit talk. Kyle seems to like Dana now for shamelessly kissing her ass, but they both hate B. In the living room, Brandi is telling a totally non committal Camille that Kim’s obviously a drug addict. Cam is trying to weasel out of saying anything, but Brandi keeps at it. Camille can understand feeling like Kim and Kyle are being rude, cuz Kyle and Kim are rude. They were never this openly hostile toward Camille, though. When everyone is back together, Brandi gets up and calls Dana Pam. Dana tells her to shut up and stop stealing jokes from Kim. Sad possum face horns.
Kim wanders off again, but this time it’s to hide Brandi’s crutches. LOLOLOLLL!! Dramatic music starts playing. Kim says “She hates us” to Kyle. Um, yeah. We’re all kind on her side at the moment, but please do go on. Kyle gets up to change the game. “IQ TEST!” She points at Brandi and mocks “You first!” Brandi leans back and says “bring it bitch.” Kyle is offended that she was called a bitch. LOL. YOU ARE A BITCH, but she didn’t mean it in the literal way, she meant it the way Winston Churchill used it on his “Pop a Cap in Dem Coppa Pigs” album.
Brandi doesn’t back down, but stays calm and says that Kyle is being a rude bitch and when she and Kim were saying they didn’t want to be on her team it wasn’t nice. Kyle denies ever saying that Camille is insecure without Frasier, and Brandi says she doesn’t remember cuz she’s been in the bathroom too many times. LOL! Kim and Kyle both start rolling their heads and pointing their fingers. A little defensive there, ladies! Kim calls Brandi a goddamn bitch. I thought that was a “bad” word, Kim! You guys are so innocent! I can’t believe you’ve been pushed to the limits like this! Quick someone shove a cock in her mouth before she can say anything else.
Dana treats Brandi like a SlimFast shake and tells Kyle to make Brandi stop calling her Pam. I have to hand it to Dana. I thought she couldn’t get more pathetic. Well done! Kyle puts a sugar cube in her mouth so she’ll stop interfering. Kim says that B is dressed in little stupid short shorts, which turns the convo into everyone thinking B is a slut. She says “it’s fine. I am a slut.” HUH? Not helping yourself here. It’s like watching cock fighting. You don’t really care who wins, you just want it to be over so you can cook the loser and eat something other than IBS cookies.
Kyle says it’s clear that B is a slut, and B says a lot of things are clear tonight. Kyle gets all defensive again, so B says Kim is wasted out of her fucking mind. The sisters jump off the couch and call her a goddamn bitch slut whore. To their credit, they didn’t use any bad words like cock.
Bitch slut hag! Hagrid! Harry Potter! Beatrice Potter! Beanie Babies! Baby Einstein! My babies are gone! GOING TO THE BATHROOM.
Wow. That was something else. We’ve all seen parts of this in previews, but it was a surprise anyway. Brandi was brought on as a villain, but the Witchards Sisters are making her the most sympathetic villain of all time. The show ends here, which is really a rip off. I want to get to the part where Brandi calls Kim out on wearing the same clothes for seven days in a row. aspodgihaoirgasdlg. It’ll have to wait til next week. Now I’ve got all this resentment built up. Thankfully, one of the neighbors just bought a puppy. I’ll go over and strangle that little fucker. See ya next time!
TV Social
-
72 Comments
Ah, Flipit, you make the insomnia worth it. Thanks for the lickity split recap.
Great recap! I laughed out loud many times, that bitch next door is probably gonna call an RA on call real soon. . .
Yeah can we pretend Taylor doesn’t exist. She looked so weird like her interview lips didn’t match her dinner party lips and I was disturbed.
I thought Kim and Kyle were kind of cute in the bathroom they were acting like sisters, the non hating each other kind, when Kyle was like you can’t do makeup but you can do lots of other things. At the same time she is so embarrassed by Kim and is terrible at hiding it and its like if Kim doesn’t feel up to these contractual housewives events why should she come? How does this reflect badly on Kyle?
Read her blog bitch needs to stop. She’s pretty much we were in a bad place and Kim hated Brandi so I decided to hate her too… bitch please you hated this girl onsite. Apparently she was in tears watchin this episode. Just staahhhhp, admit you were a raging bitch and move on.
I felt really bad for Brandi Brandi wants you to think she doesn’t care but she is obviously really sensitive and wants to be liked. I really like her.
Dana was just and is so so so pathetic. The way she snapped at Brandi that it was only Kim’s joke like wtf. She’s known them for all of a second and the constant need to mention her “wealth,” what a thirsty trick…
I really could care less about Lisa, her daughter, her husband her dog her sanctimoniousness
I DIED at Winston Churchill like who the hell was she even thinking of? I was like maybe she’s thinking of some famous black man whose names sounds similar but no just completely off the mark lmao
Jeez…this boyfriend I snatched up a couple months ago is royally fucking up my HW watching sitch. I havent made it out of the bed long enough to even catch a full ep yet….I’m sooooo behind……and exhausted. Let’s see…where do I begin…well, lemme just say that the girls calling Brandi a slut, and Brandi calling herself a slut, has GOT TO stop. Lamest insult EVER. If I had a dollar for everytime a chick has called me a slut without any knowledge of what a slut I actually am (well…was), I’d be richer than all these assholes combined. Basically, it’s the “go-to” insult for a female to use when she’s just pissed that another pretty girl has come around but she yet to learn anything specific enough about the girl to pick on. Like, there are a million other reasons to hate/insult me (and Brandi, I assume), and “slut” is all ya got? I’d rather be a slut than exhibit ZERO manners and/or maturity as the sisters have lately. I NEVER thought in a million years that i’d dislike Kyle (she was totes my fave by far), or that i’d not only TOLERATE Cam, but almost entertain the idea of liking her a little. Weird. Last season, my number one event I looked foreward to every week was Ade and Paul’s hilarious convos/bickering. That shit was hysterical, but they are just uncomfortable to watch now. Dana has GOT. TO. GO. I mean, for real…..Riddle me this: How the fuck is Brandi catching so much shit while that redic, “in-crowd”-obsessed moron is runnin’ around acting like the chick in high school that always seems to weasel her way into a seat at the cool kids lunch table, but sits there being ignored the whole time, but puts up with it cause she’s just so happy to just be stting there at all? Ugh. I HATE bitches who dress in the top brands, but have no actual STYLE whatsoever. If I ever spent that much money on a pair of shades (hypathetically, of course), I’d never tell a soal what i spent on them cuz i’d be fucking EMBARRASSED to do so. I dunno. I’m just not impressed by money in any way, shape, or form, therefore I have no respect for people like her, and I sure as shit won’t pretend to like them, ignoring their complete lack of tact, personality, or anything important to contribute whatsoever. Wow. I’m cranky today. I’m just sayin’ that it’s weird to watch Brandi squirm, & put up with the behavior of the other girls’ catty BS, while that socially (and just generally) retarded wannabe constantly blurts out eyeroll-worthy nonsense, and/or fishes for complements, and everyone’s completely ignoring it. I swear, if she was attractive, she woulda been put in her trailertrash place by the middle of her first ep. No tact, or class AT ALL. The only thing Brandi has said/done that I’m not feelin’ is how proud and vocal she is about fuckin’ her ex over so hard in the divorce. I’ve always thought it’s trashy to act that way. Hey, I’m all about hittin’ someone where it hurts to an extent, especially if he/she cheated, but it’s very unattractive, childish, and unneccessary to run around telling anyone who’ll listen how he did you wrong, so you got him back for it by wasting more time in court or mediation or whatever, draggin that shit out, just for the satisfaction of him/her having to give you an undeserving amount of money you didn’t work for/earn in any way? NEWSFLASH: He still cheated on you, left you, and you’re still talking about it, meanwhile he’s moved on, just a little less rich now. Feel better bout yourself? Looks pathetic to me. How bout, accept his bad choice(s) for what they are, try to forgive him at least as a human being, put it behind you, and move on with your life….THEN go brag to others about THAT. You got his money, but I don’t see what’s impressive or amusing about that. And lastly, if any stuck-up bitch says a word to me reguarding my language/cussing, she’s gettin’ nailed in the throat. You’re in your 30s/40s, and you’re offended by “cock”? I’d given anything to see Brandi just turn to Kyle and go “yo bitch, than either put ur motherfuckin earmuffs on, quit runnin ur cum-dumpster, or you can go fuck yourself while we adults enjoy this bbq, mmkay?” LOL. If Lisa was the one who’d said it, she woulda thought it was the funniest thing ever.
Great recap – I always look forward to seeing them.
What was up with the long shots of Kims purse and assorted bags? I looked but didn’t see a burnt spoon or a bent syringe. I thought I saw a baggie filled with ‘face powder’ but the shot was quick, did anyone else see that?
Wow, was Kyle an insecure bitch or what? I used to like her but damn…I haven’t seen that level of bitchery since jr high and that is saying something.
I’m not sure what I think about Brandi. I do like her for the most part, but that crack about Danas fiancee (or financer) cheating was a weird low blow.
Dana is just pathetic and a fool. You are so right Flipit that if she were pretty and/or skinny noone would tolerate her labelwhoring ways.
Anyone else notice that Ad wasn’t wearing her wedding ring at the icecream place? Hmmmmm….
Can’t wait for next week!
I love waking up to a fresh batch of Flipit recap! Awesome as usual. I love how these shows let me rotate my hatred of assholes, because now my hate is purely for Kyle.(Kim gets a pass b/c she’s batshit crazy/drugged/entertaining.) Kyle on the other hand is an insecure bitter old bitch and it’s showing in her masculine Demi Moore face. Unbelivable, she never gave Brandi a chance, she hated her the moment she saw her, I wonder why….maybe shes Mauricio’s type. Tall, blonde, skinny, doesn’t have to hide her square body in frumpy grandma clothes. Funny how Kyle sticks up for Kim this year, but last year creepy Taylor was allowed to attack Kim non stop and Vyle never defended her. I hope Mauricio ends up banging Brandi on a bed of Kyle’s hair products. And what else can be said about Dana? Most pathetic add on EVER! Hopefully she Cindy Barshop’s her pathetic ass right out of this season. After watching Kyle’s revolting behavior, I think I believe Camille about all the shit that went down last season.
I agree that some of the bathroom scenes were kind of cute, but what is going on with Kim? I still love her (she is so crazy) but she got pretty ugly this episode. Girl needs serious help. I think Camille said in one of the talking heads that Kim was “working things out,” so whatever her problem is, it’s known by half the cast at least, and I’m guessing it’s not alchohol. Does Kim not have a PR person?
Dana would be fun but she’s trying WAAAAY too damn hard. It’s annoying. I’m actually liking Camille more this time around.
I really don’t dislike Brandi, she IS really insecure, and I could see where she would lash out because of the awkwardness. Kyle definitely has the mean girl act down, I can understand wanting to defend your sister (but really, where was this LAST season?) but she has been after Brandi (and Dana) since she first saw her. Insecure, much? I really don’t get Kyle. She’s gorgeous, has a hot husband, beautiful (and pleasant) kids, a nice home, and money. Why be such a bitch?
I forgot to add. Brandi’s a slut for saying COCK??, yet their skanky, herpes infested, wonky eyed, ACTUAL SLUT, neice who’s sucked and fucked her way to fame isn’t a slut??? FUCK YOU KYLE RICHARDS
LOVED THE RECAP FLIPIT! I was pounding on my chest to help my breathing because I was laughing so hard!
I also about DIED laughing at the Winston Churchill clue. I was seriously trying to figure her clue out–a black man as famous as Martin Luther King? Well, in that era, maybe Malcolm X? Have I ever heard of a famous black man with the last name Church? I was starting to get concerned about my lack of social history knowledge. When Taylor said who Brandi was referring to, I was stunned and horrified. Uh, Brandi, with clues like that, and the “best rapper” clue which is a subjective claim at best, I wouldn’t throw clues your way either. Too. Dumb. For. Words.
And who believed Dana when she said, like four times, that the teams were ‘randomly selected’? Anyone? Me neither.
That said, if I were Brandi and some snobby a-holes treated me that way at a party, I would have been in tears. Brandi seemed to hold it together pretty well (she was no Taylor running into the bathroom in tears–course Kim was taking up the bathroom at the time…). Someone should tell Kelly from RHONY to tune in, because that was a great example of some serious verbal bullying. I don’t care what those two say now, that was awful, they were like eleven year old girls in the worst possible way. And they hate Brandi–why exactly?
As far as Kim being on something–I shall not disagree since I don’t know enough about illicit drugs to give an educated comment–but I do know a lot about SEVERE insomnia, and that kind of tired mimics being drunk or stoned. You drive the same way as a drunk person–focused on one spot, your eyes get all red, you get chilly and can’t eat (with constant peeing and stomach cramps), your heart races and you are nervous and jumpy, with slurred speech, and your hearing suffers (so you think) because you take these mini-naps that last for a second or two (body’s self-preservation), so you miss for a second what is going on and not following even the simplest of conversations make you seem wasted. Also, at least in my case, you talk really loud, fall all over furniture, and don’t make any sense (this happens usually on my third day of staying up straight). You become unable to carry on a simple conversation. I am not saying she didn’t take something fun up the nostrils too, just saying if the drug tests came back clean, I won’t say somebody fucked with them. But I will say that not sleeping for a long periods of time is a baaaad sign. Flipit, Kimmy is in some serious trouble and Kyle is focusing way too much on her eye make-up.
Don’t know if it was mentioned before, but what the hell kind of name is Pandora? And my dislike for Ken has hit an all time high. You know how he holds back from beating bossy Lisa? Those silent but deadlies. Payback is a smelly bitch.
@ Poopsicle: I thought the same thing about those two freaking over the word ‘Cock’–when Paris Hilton, who probably has the word ‘Cock’ inscribed on a pillow in her bedroom, is their beloved niece.
And I still think Camille is an asshole, but Kyle’s behavior tonight is making me wonder about last season and that whole fiasco of who said what…I am starting to rethink my take on that…Kyle better simmer down or she will be the new Camille faster than Lisa–who is also trying to take first place as the resident asshole this season (maybe not in this episode, but certainly in past ones.)
So many delicious goodies in this recap! I LOLOLOL’d the whole time!! “Failor” LOL! “Your butt makes hat dress look fat.” LOLZ! I can’t copy and paste everything. Loved it!
What WAS Kim doing in the bathroom so much? She never even used it (as far as we know) other than to look in the mirror. Who needs to fix their makeup 800 times during a game night?! And I didn’t notice her walking into the party with the 3 makeup bags they showed on the floor in the bathroom. Odd.
Brandi never had a chance. I haven’t read Kyle’s blog yet, but a commenter above mentioned that Kim didn’t like Brandi and so Kyle just didn’t either? If Kyle said that, it doesn’t make sense because Kyle met Brandi at Ad’s party and Kim didn’t even go. I thought Kim and Brandi were introduced at Game night. Kyle can’t pretend she didn’t like her at jump.
I was surprised how openly rude Kyle was to Brandi! Not even saying hello when they were the only two in the room for ages? What is her problem? I do feel sorry for Brandi, for now. If she came on the show to be the villain that means she came in to mix it up. I guess she never intended that she’d be outmatched by the Witchard Sisters (Love it!).
Overall the fight was lame. Kyle and Kim jumped up pointing and calling her a G-D-B, but neither one actually SAID anything! It was “youah!” all over again! And what was Brandi’s point of agreeing that she’s a slut?! Come on!!! I hope next week isn’t another let down. If Brandi’s a big B, then SHE needs to bring it!
I was bored by the wedding announcement. I too think the the BF is gay. They don’t seem in love and the fact that Lisa whole-heartedly endorses the marriage when we KNOW she is a bad judge of character confirms this is a mistake.
And @Poopsicle: “And what else can be said about Dana? Most pathetic add on EVER! Hopefully she Cindy Barshop’s her pathetic ass right out of this season.” LOLOLOL!
Sorry to over-post, but my roommate read what I wrote over my shoulder and is making me add ‘grumpy and mean with a whiny attitude’ to the list of insomnia related side-effects.
I felt like the game night scene draaaagged on and on. They probably had lots of Russell scenes this episode that they cut out, and needed filler.
Kim is painful and uncomfortable to watch. I understand Kyle’s embarrassment, but I also think she gets off on being the patron saint. I’m actually liking Camille a lot, and believe it or not, I feel bad for Taylor.
Anyway, what I really want to talk about is SJP on Watch What Happens. What was THAT? She was horrible. Not that it’s supposed to be a gritty hard core show, but she was too fluffy and non-opinionated.
@Tmurda – My response to everything you just said: Word!
@Thatswhatshesaid – I think Brandi was smart to agree that she is a slut. After all, if she denied it, it would give them fuel to continue. But by agreeing, she completely took the wind out of their sails. And it didn’t look like the word really bothered Brandi. I think she was hurt inside by all of the catty comments and general meanness, but her gameface was on and she wasn’t going to let those bitches see her sweat. But I really would have loved it if when they called her a slut she had said: “Well at least I don’t have a sex tape!” lol
Flipit, thank you for another hilarious recap!
*Trying to hold it in* COCK!!!
@Shana, I have horrible insomnia, too. Suffering at work right now because of it. I agree with pretty much everything you said, and I thought I was the only one that peed a lot because of it! Do you take anything for it? Anything OTC actually has the reverse effect and keeps me up, Lunesta works sometimes and we all know what Ambien does. I took a xanax last night but didn’t really sleep, just some lucid stuff and now I feel very out of it…..but I’m not acting like Kim!
On the other hand, I *may* have some knowledge of illicit drugs. Being on them, or withdrawing from them in combination with anxiety and insomnia = Kim. Unlike myself, who has to get up and be a functional person in order to pay bills, keep my house etc., Kim has the luxury of just being a spazz. Her lifestyle allows her to act like that. It’s much better to show up to game night all cracked out than work.
Face scratching/rubbing is one of the “tells” that a person is lying, and all these “ladies” are liars, some worse than others.
i just want to go on record as saying this was the best housewives episode in recent memory. loved game nite. as a relatively middle class black woman may i say i would be embarassed to invite my girls over for game nite with no real food. and everyone knows serious drinkers dont like to mix deserts with alcohol. and that game nite is just really an excuse to get drunk and talk shit. and if i had to borrow/rent tables and chairs, i would at least have had the right furniture for the event. and we would have all called the sisters out on the bathroom foolishness. what exactly was kim hoping to do in the bathroom. i do not need my sister to help me pee, let alone a camera crew who followed me in every single time. and my girls would have been mocking the bitch with all the designer name brands-who does that? kyle and kim were completely out of line, if brandi was truly trying to play the mean girl game, she could easily have lit their asses up with what we all know about them and their family just from season one and back issues of the national enquirer. and remind me never to eat at lisas house. mean to the help and she does not wash her hands and sticks her used spoon back into the mixing bowl and dont even get me started on jiggy. and i never realized it before but ken wears a wig, and is completely whipped in his own house. ans skeletor and the cookie making, oh please. so much to point and laugh about, so little time…thanks for a great job!
” forgot to add. Brandi’s a slut for saying COCK??, yet their skanky, herpes infested, wonky eyed, ACTUAL SLUT, neice who’s sucked and fucked her way to fame isn’t a slut??? FUCK YOU KYLE RICHARDS”
LOL and great point! And, I agree with everybody who thinks that Kyle would have been MUCH nicer to Brandi if she were not both younger and prettier than Kyle.
Why has nobody mentioned Taylor’s black eye in the cookie baking scene? Wonder if Dana knew what was up and agreed to “host” so Taylor didn’t have to be on display on display on display…
Great recap as usual! “Witchards sisters” should’ve been the title of the episode lol Oh my.. Kyle really spilled the beans in this episode. Now we now for sure she is not happily married, beautiful or the lucky girl she always claim to be. She is infact an insecure, plain looking, middleaged woman who thinks her husband will cheat on her. She , a mother of plenty picked on a 4 year old little boy on camera. What a nasty piece of work she is! She is backstabbing and manipulative and i hope some Amish people would sneak in at night and cut her hair off. We all know she looks like shit in short hair.
@Snootchy Bootches: “But I really would have loved it if when they called her a slut she had said: “Well at least I don’t have a sex tape!” lol”
LOLOL INDEED!!!! That would have been awesome!!!
@tweetygirl: HILAR! Loved it ALL! You are spot on about the difference in parties. I’m a black female myself and for SURE none of that madness would have gone on at one of my parties! LOL!!!! ***Disclaimer: Not that it’s because they AREN’T black that it all went down. Kyle and Kim were A-holes in general and that transcends race. LOL!
***
I hate when people taste food that they are cooking with the SAME UTENSIL they are using to cook!!! GROSS!!! Both she and Ken used the same spoon too! Ugh! And Ken was holding Jiggy! THESE PEOPLE OWN A RESTAURANT?! Where is the Department of Health?!!! One Jiggy sighting in the kitchen and it should be SHUT DOWN!
I was actually waiting to see if Ken was going to let Jiggy drink from one of their champagne glasses, but the pooch was conspicuously absent from this formal occasion…..
@Tmurda – you described Dana perfectly! She reminded me of Grover Dill, Scut Farkis’ lackey in A Christmas Story, when she sat on the couch adding jabs at Brandi while the Witcherdsons were going at her. Never thought I’d be a Brandy fan, but they were out of line and she handled it well.
@Snooty – I concur that Brandi “agreeing” took the wind out of the witchters’ sails. Seems like Brandi has some finely honed catfight skillz – hmmmm.
@Shana – thanks for the food for thought about insomnia v drugs. Neither sounds good, but one may have a better outlook than the other.
Thanks for the super funny recap (as per usual), Flip!
Oh, Flipit!! All hail the Queen of recaps! That was funnah!!
Ok, Jaysus…where to begin? Dana, boo, you needed some goddamn food up in there. You are a heiffa, so you do how to eat, gurl!!!Crunchy, munchy doodads, washed down with over-sized martini glasses of whatever alcoholic shite you bitches out there drink. And could we put the kneepads away? You are in your own house, not the court of Versailles. All that scraping and bowing was cringe worthy.
Kim and Kyle – wha’ happened? Kim is hard to watch. It is like road show of the “Valley of the Dolls” with her. And when did Kyle get so mean? She has the beautiful husband, the beautiful kids, the beautful hair. Why sweat a bitch who got dumped by Eddie Cibian? Really?
And Dana, please pick a game that requires fewer brain cells – like “Mystery Date” or “Whoever smelt it, dealt it”. (Who knew Winston churchill was a brotha?)
I think Lisa’s shelf life of popularity is starting to turn rank. I am tired of her and the giggy show.
Ad and Taylor – it is hard to focus on what they are saying as I am waiting for their faces to slide off the screen.
Camille – still an asshole, but she’s our asshole.
thanks for the shoutout thatswhatshesaid! good to know we are on the same page. but until you pointed it out, i wasnt even thinking about the racial differences in how we have a good time, i was thinking about finance; broke as i am i would never ask people over with no food and counting out the number of chairs, and piling all those glasses of champagne on that teeny tiny table, how were they supposed to keep track of which glass belonged to whom? and taking the poor little crippled girls’ crutches, again, who does that? and adrienne better watch out, if she doesnt start treating paul better, one of those other thirsty heifers will be plotting on her man. just sayin.. geez, i am embarassed at how much i enjoyed this train wreck!
In the preview for next week, how much did that gaysian wedding planner tell Lisa the tab would be? I thought he said 12 million, but that can’t be right…can it? Even if I misheard and he said “only” one million, he shoulda had his ass kicked to the curb.
@ sardini: Screw the OTC stuff, they are addictive (in the sense that after a while you need to take more and more for the same affect) and in some cases–like yours apparently, can have the opposite affect. If your insomnia is as bad as you say, go to your doctor and discuss prescription sleeping pills. Even if you end up not being able to sleep without them, at least you sleep. If all else fails, do what I did–turn your job into the night shift!
I also considered withdrawal as Kim’s issue–but the way she was lounging on the couch and all over the other women was indicative of extreme exhaustion. And the fact that she said she went to a doctor today, but Kyle didn’t ask what happened or what he said, makes me think that the doc was a psychiatrist.
@LAC: Your Camille comment–Hilarious! I think Kyle feels that way about Kim–she is a drunken loser, but she is my drunken loser.
@ tweetygirl: I agree, Dana was acting like these woman showed up out of the blue, uninvited. When Taylor came and Dana was all–’oh, I have to get another chair’ and then was looking around to see where she could find one, was ridiculous. It kind of reminded me of the first season of RHONYC, when Alex would go on and on about her expensive, wearable art wardrobe, giving the impression of extreme wealth, but her house was in complete shambles. Come to think of it, she also thought her kids shart brilliance too (‘Johan can sing twinkle twinkle little star in seven languages’ or some shit). I wonder, from the way Dana was acting, I got the impression that her money is all her fiance’s–if he were to pull away, she would be left with nothing. Her insecurity is bone deep.
I agree with everyone that said Brandy’s comment about being a slut was the right thing to do, she had already said she wasn’t a slut at the bbq, and yet the women ignored it. Defending the slut accusations would have gotten nowhere. But I would have loved nothing more then Brandi, slowly and with feeling, respond to Kim and Kyle’s “you’re a slut!” accusations, by enunciating the word “COCK” over and over in response. Would have laughed myself into a coma.
Kyle is saying that as far as game night is concerned – the hiding the crutches, the cackling when Kim said she didn’t like Brandy, – she was doing all that because their relationship was strained;
“Later, when we started playing games, Kim whispered (I now realize, not quietly enough) that she didn’t like Brandi. I did not realize Brandi heard this, which is why I later said, “What are you talking about?” I think at this point in my relationship with Kim, I would have stood by her no matter what she said or did because I was so traumatized by our fight last year.”
I feel like Kim picked up on the fact that Kyle doesn’t like Brandi (I am sure they talked between Adrienne’s BBQ and Dana’s Game Night) and decided she wasn’t going to like her because she doesn’t want to be accused of not having Kyle’s back like last year with Camille and “insecure.” Same for Kyle who knows how bad she looked letting Taylor dump all over Kim last year and not say anything. That said she was looking for any little thing to go off on Brandi and trust if Taylor or Lisa called he sister an addict or meth head she would have been all priss and demure about it.
also @ sardini (and anyone else who is interested), take the pill early in the evening so that the affects wear off before you have to go to work in the morning. And find out why you are having problems sleeping (psyc), it always helps to know why.
For Kim? She probably can’t stand sleeping in an empty house and waits until she is so tired that there is no way she could keep her eyes open for another second before she collapses into a very long sleep. It is crazy unhealthy. She looked so good with Jackpot at Ad’s dinner party, she should volunteer at an animal shelter or rescue mission. She needs to be calming others in order for her to calm herself. All that free time is ratcheting up her anxiety. But a real job? No way, that girl is just too unreliable.
@ cupcake89: Nah, Kyle was just doing a total cop-out. She uses Kim in the worst way all the time. How dare she blame Kim for her behavior? And I suppose it was Kim’s fault that she loudly put Brandi down at her ‘raise a dollar for the kids with cancer’ event? Such bullshit to blame her actions on Kim, who is obviously Kyle’s scapegoat for everything.
And Kyle can criticize Brandi’s parenting all she wants–maybe Brandi just realized that humiliating her son in front of the cameras and other children would be traumatizing to a small child in the throes of potty training. Who knows what she said to him later, but going all ‘correcting’ on his ass publicly could do more harm than good, while Kyle, with young impressionable girls, on camera displayed such low morals and uncharitable behavior. From last seasons screaming match in the car to last nights game night–what a lovely role model she has been.
@shana – I’ve actually been on sleeping meds of some sort (prescribed) for 10 years now. Anything that I take over a long period of time seems to start losing its effect. I’ve been with the same doctor for 4 years now, he keeps me from going all Kim. I actually used to work nights years ago, I think that’s partially to blame, although I’ve had some form of insomnia since I was little.
Anyway, the way I view these shows is this: it’s not reality. It’s completely contrived…but sometimes reality actually does come out of those contrived situations.
Flipit, you RULE!
Two things happened last night that made me uncomfy. 1) I was glad to see Camille and 2) I sided with Brandi. That makes the third housewife I was all excited to hate and I actually sided with. Brandi, please seat yourself beside Kathy Wakile and Melissa Gorga. On the far end. ‘Cause I still got hopes of giving you the boot.
This episode ruled. I’ve gotten my sister into it this season and I’ve discovered we’re alot like Kim and Kyle. Minus the drugs, hot husband, children, taken-away-house, cool hair, money, Fatburger stand in the back yard, dogs…okay so no. But we do fight alot.
@Shana – very insightful comment about Kim not being able to sleep in an empty house. She demonstrated her extreme co-dependence on her kids last year. A dog is really not a bad idea – if she could remember to take care of it.
“Camille is an asshole, but she is out asshole” Touche! Brilliant
* our – Sorry LAC!
S-Natch! LOL!! No prob!!
Flipit, as always reading your recap is like watching with a really funny friend who has an extremely entertaining case of Tourette’s. I can picture you cat-calling during the show “Bastard! Gimp whore! Cock-sucking harpy!” Ahhh, good times.
This show could be titled “Six bitches, an addict, and a nerd desperate for approval”
Dana, reminds us how insufferable new wealth can be, and acts like she was living in a trailer park when she hit that big scratch-off lottery ticket. She needs to donate those obscene glasses (that make her look like Mr. Magoo) to charity and take a Pilates time-out.
If Kim isn’t on chemical enhancements, I expect a future episode where she delivers a midnight “I was a child star, I am an icon, dammit!” soliloquy while holding a bottle of Mad Dog 20-20.
Ken is so boring and weird. If I thought he was smart I would guess that he is busy mentally conjugating Latin verbs. But he is either in early senility or perhaps pondering how Romulans differ from Vulcans…..fascinating. Of course I hang on his every word.
Thank you Flipit for another masterpiece of snark.
@Flipit ROFL I had to pause the TV for laughing breaks too and then had to do the same thing reading this!
@ohralphie I saw it and if you get HD powder from a place that sells makeup ingredients you can get it dirt cheap and it does come in a baggie and white people don’t have to put any pigment in it so it’s just white powder. But:
1) I don’t think Kim would even know about that or need to save $30 so bad and
2) She so didn’t have HD powder on. And call me mean but she totally should’ve.
@Tmurda – your descriptions were great! It’s so funny and also kind of creepy to watch these women who are like 40 or 50 act like they’re 14.
@Thatswhatshesaid LOL I thought this time I’m going to paste all the best 1s but there were just too many of them and I always type too long anyway.
Every time I remembered “These bitches scratch more than pound puppies” I had to go to the bathroom and laugh! So people at my work probably think I got ahold of some of Kim’s special face powder.
@straighttohell If she does it’s the worst PR person ever because the 1st thing they’d tell her is don’t get on a reality show till you fix this problem.
@tweetygirl when she said just desserts and alcohol the 1st thing I thought was she wants to get them all super wasted like on Bad Girls Club and Real World etc where they get unlimited alcohol 24/7.
I can’t believe how much I’m liking Brandi!
She’s just trashy enough to not just get up and crutch herself on out of there! (which is what I and most people probably would’ve done which is 1 of the reasons we’re not getting Bravo checks.)
It was so funny when she said Bring it Bitch, I think she just said it without thinking about how Kyle and Kim are older so for them it’s a bad word they only say when they’re really pissed off and call it the b word the rest of the time.
The way they were pointing their fingers etc together like a bad dance routine was awesome! I bet it does become a dance!
With the Winston Churchill thing at 1st I thought maybe they’re thinking of Church’s chicken? But they wouldn’t even know what that is much less know it’s marketed to black people.
kthxbai
kim and kyle are losing me this season…last year kyle brought up addiction on the show and then refused to talk about it on the reunion show…she acts like she is so much better than everyone else…brandi called her a bitch but she was being a bitch to brandi…they were so mean girl to brandi…not cool
Kim is on that shit….
can i jus say how much i love this site and all of your comments? you people get it!!!
Why would Kim drink coffee all night if she already felt jittery, anxious, and couldn’t sleep? And if it was decaf, I saw a huge Starbucks in the bathroom shot. Still a whole lot of sugar, especially if one hasn’t eaten in days.
I still love Lisa. Giggy too. But I don’t approve of the dog always being around the dinner table and bringing him to other people’s homes. Also, I would be worried about eating at their restaurant – didn’t Lisa ask if Giggy did a “wee wee” on the seat of the booth they were sitting on? So gross.
I didn’t like Kyle by the end of last season. Seems like I still won’t this season. I think her backtracking on her blog is b/c Mauricio is probably not liking this side of her. He probably has made excuses and blamed her crazy sister or Kyle’s need to defend Kim but this looks bad for Kyle. It can’t help his business either.
I thought Kyle didn’t like Brandi because she hangs with Cedric (and denies it). So she’s taking Lisa’s side in that case and trying to squash Brandi, however rudely done it might be. I dunno, I’m still Team Kyle. I loved it when she and Kim were both pointing fingers — reminds me of a couple of 9 year olds launching in on a boy who pulled a harmless but embarrassing trick on them. Or who bested them in class by knowing the answer wasn’t Winston Churchill.
Camille’s an asshole. But I have to admit that she is much more relaxed and happy this season so the assholiness comes across much more attractively. Plus, she’s not targeting my precious Kyle. Whose hair I am going to sneak in one night and steal. Right before I kidnap her fab husband.
Not sure that Kyle is thinking of Lisa, either; since her little dust up with Ken over Taylor. Wow, typing that just made me dizzy.
Anyway, thanks Flip for the game night laughs. Too funny. I usually try not to read recaps until I can see the show first. I’m so glad I didn’t wait; this was AWEsome. Now I can’t wait to watch!
Nope. No free pass for Kim because she MIGHT be sleep deprived. She and Kyle know they are being miked and filmed which makes their behavior even more reprehensible. They acted like they were proud and enjoyed being the mean girls to Brandi. They are two has beens that never were with a little money and a whole lot of ego. I would respect Kyle if she called her sister on her childish behavior rather than enabling her. No wonder they have issues.
The other women-what a bunch of wimps! To sit there and say nothing while one woman is getting picked on or completely ignored? If I were there I would probably be so disgusted with all of them I would leave. (Who am I kidding, I would never be invited to begin with) And Dana is a party planner?????? People pay her money???hahahahaha She did absolutely nothing to include Brandi and deflect the situation. Also agree about Sarah Jessica Parker. What a waste to have her on the show. She never has an opinion or anything to contribute. She’s not funny or even entertaining. Girl did look good though.
@Classy Drunk: LOL!!!!!!
I think Kyke is backtracking (read:Lying) on her blog because she realizes she looks like an A-hole. And it’s unprovoked and all on film. I’m sure after all this time Mauricio is WELL AWARE of who Kyle is. Sure, he may not like it being on national tv, but he knows how she is.
I do apologize for my constant typos!!! Ugh!! I blame this dang iPhone! It’s especially annoying that I call myself “proof-reading” before I submit too!!! Grrrr!
@Thatswhatshesaid: ‘I hate when people taste food that they are cooking with the SAME UTENSIL they are using to cook!!! GROSS!!! Both she and Ken used the same spoon too! Ugh! And Ken was holding Jiggy! THESE PEOPLE OWN A RESTAURANT?! Where is the Department of Health?!!! One Jiggy sighting in the kitchen and it should be SHUT DOWN!’
Oh, come on, you are not serious, are you? That must be an ‘old married couple’ thing I guess. I’ve got over 20 yrs with my husband, and we’ve been using the same utensils, glass, drink, anything, forever. It actually starts out as a very sensual way of sharing a REAL CLOSENESS when you first get together, and then turns into a way of life overtime. There is nothing wrong with Lisa and Ken doing it. As far as her using the same spoon to keep mixing as for tasting, she said the FAMILY was coming over, and a lot of families are that close that they too share utensils, plates etc interchangably. You do not have to do it if it grosses you out but it does not necessarily make it wrong for someone else.
And I seriously do not think Giggy is allowed into the kitchen at the restaurant. Lisa is not a moron, she is a classy and smart broad (after all, they are self-made, say what you will), and she would not risk getting her restaurant shut down if someone complained or there was an outbreak of something. As for Ken sharing a glass with Giggy – again, it may gross you out, but people who have dogs know that it is a normal thing for a lot of us (I personally do not do that, but I do kiss my dog on the face etc, and sometimes she slips me the tongue, he he – you just go and wash it out if it bothers you, as I do).
Weird how people see that same things in such a different light.
I think it is not nice or justified making such broad generalizations about very personal things in other people’s lives based on a 10-sec window into it. I am not buying what Bravo is trying to do this season, that is turn Lisa into a bitch and a villain by force. The stuff they zero in on for drama is just so petty and each time a non-issue, it comes across as desperate. I just can’t believe how many people are falling for it.
Only one more thing – what the hell was wrong with Ad’s face this episode? Did she come to the icecream parlor straight from botox or fat injections? Or did she over-use the HGH, like so many of the Hollywood set do lately? It looks so hirribly ugly. Her face seemed positively disfigured. All I could think of, looking at her, was ‘Christ, her hubby is a plastic surgeon, and he lets her leave a house looking like that?’ (Yes, I know she said he is not HER plastic surgeon, but still, he should put his professional foot down if circumstances require it, as I think they did this time). You got to feel sorry for women who think so low of themselves they would do THAT to their faces in hopes of continuing to look young…
People who are grossed out by tasting spoons being reused should not eat out. Maybe it’s not done at restaurants owned by famous chefs like, say, Gordon Ramsay, but anywhere else, including Lisa’s restaurants, it’s gonna happen. The first season of Top Chef, Hubert Keller kicked a cheftestant out of his kitchen for doing that. The guy getting kicked out called Keller out for grandstanding, saying he only got mad because it was on TV. I suspect he was absolutely right about that.
Kim would need to drink a lot of sugar/caffiene in order to fight the exhaustion. It is a bad cycle. I also wonder if Kim might suffer from some type of manic depression, because we are certainly seeing a lot of mania lately while last season she was just a lump of depression.
Ewwwwwww. Yes I am serious about the food tasting thing. In general it does gross me out, but I was particularly surprised by Lisa and Ken doing it because they were cooking for someone else, not just themselves. But to each his own, you know? Oh, and as for Ken letting Jiggy drink out of his glass? That’s all good in his own home, but he was at Ad’s house at the table! If they wouldn’t bring the dog to their restaurant out of good taste/health/whatever their reasons, why on earth bring it to a formal dinner party at someone else’s house and let it drink out of the glass at the table? Even Ad was upset at that.
I agree that Ad’s face was looking particularly contorted at that ice cream outing! Her eyes seem to keep getting closer together. She needs to STOP. I would be willing to pay money to assist her with her hair situation. That bothers me more than her face as that is a MUCH easier fix!!! She’s in LA for crying out loud!
@TWSS, I am ok with the initial taste because the dish may need more salt, pepper, onion etc, but if the food is for a group of people that are NOT your immediate family then double dipped tastings should be off.
None of them are this tacky:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/10/11/tareq-salahi-selling-michaele-underwear-charity_n_1004088.html
Flipit couldn’t wait to read your recap after that famewreck/trainwreck. Those girls just cannot help themselves, no matter how hard they try, their true personalities just keep shining through. As much as I hate to admit it, that shyte was entertaining as hell. Uncomfortable, yes. Funny all the same. The Witchard sisters are absolutely shameless. Makes you believe everything written about the family in the book is true. Unbelievable.
Dana pushed all the right buttons to get that clusterfuck going. Sucking up to Kyle and ignoring Brandi, fussing over Kim which makes Kyle a little uncomfortable and competitive with her sister then actively stirring the shit pot. That is oooooone classy broad and elegant hostess. Never thought anyone could be more two faced, manipulative, transparent and as thirsty as Taylor. Dana sure makes Taylor look goooood.Ugh! Taylor had to redeem herself somehow for last season’s bullying of Kim. She brought us Dana. Sigh
Lisa-I’m getting a Sante’ Kimes vibe from her with regard to her treatment of the help. Do it exactly as I say or being burned with an iron will be the least of your worries.
Oh Adrienne’s mac ‘n cheese is lowbrow, but potato salad isn’t?
Get that dirty wine bottle off my cutting board, but keep the hairy pet around. Wtf?
I think Lisa’s incongruence is what grates on her fellow castmates.
Despite Camille’s jesus complex (ok, narcissism), I believed her side in the Kyle debacle. Hey, Frazier had enough money and status to keep the bitch deluded, pampered, surrounded by syncophants and reality teevee cameras. Kyle not so much. Oh no, not second fiddle again. Duh
Kim, Kim, Kim. There are no words. Who’da thought you had all that bitchiness in you? Boy did you and your sister show your respective asses. One question-if Brandi were sans crutches, would you two micro badasses been willing to open a can of whipass on the fit lean leggy one? Just askin’.
Kinda liking Brandi, maybe next time she can tell Big Kathy’s progeny “Yes I’m a slut, but a herpes free one”
Awesome, awesome recap for a craptacular episode.
@Classy: I agree.
I hope the fight between the “ladies” escalates because I was pretty disappointed after the previews made it seem so juicy. I guess we haven’t gotten to the out & out drug accusation yet. Looks like Brandi got up & it might get physical (from the preview), but you know editing…
One of my biggest pet peaves is double dipping. Especially when you are cooking for someone else. I actually have this on my profile at a food group that I belong to. It really bugs me.
This why I paid particular attention to Lisa’s hygeine when she was tasting. Mainly because she is a restaurant owner and I was curious if she would double dip, and to be honest, I was just waiting to say “gotcha”. Considering the way she allows her dog to intermingle with folks at dinnertime I wouldn’t have been surprised.
But she didn’t double dip. She took a taste off the spoon, then offered to give the rest to Ken..he tried to get the bite and she ate it, teasingly. She THEN laid the spoon to the right of the bowl. Ken then got a clean spoon and had a taste. Then he put his spoon on the counter too.
Also, a Chef’s coat has a pocket for tasting spoons. Many kitchens also have a bin full of plastic spoons overhead for tasting. There is never a reason for a chef to double dip in a restaurant. And, I rekon Chef Keller knew this and that is why he kicked the dude out of the kitchen, crankyguy.
Bad habits are hard to break.
Robinez, you will swallow slobber and like it, unless you only eat at the finest restaurants. And even then, you are taking your chances. I’m sure that Gordon Ramsay has a rule against his cooks double-dipping, but on Hell’s Kitchen,/i>, he tastes half-eaten food off of returned plates to see if the customer had a legitimate complaint. That is pretty gross to me.
“Robinez, you will swallow slobber and like it” hahahahahahahahaaha
If Gordon want’s to eat someone else’s spit he can go right ahead. It’s gross to me too. On the other hand, he isn’t sending his own spit out there for someone to consume.
Too funny crankyguy..thanks for the laugh.
It looked to me like Ken picked up Lisa’s spoon where she’d placed it after tasting the food. Maybe there were many utensils on the table. I hope so. *shudder*
Very interesting discussion actually. I don’t watch cooking shows so it’s fascinating to read these comments about Chefs and their practices.
Did you Bitches see Survivor tonight. THey took mouthfus of roasted meat and fat and mouthfuls of spit and spat it all in a basket. And then the winner got to take home the basket of spit meat and eat it all up… all 22 pounds of it… yum yum yum yum. I woulf pleasently eat after any of you after tonight. the challenge alone freaked me the shit out.
I am pretty sure the guy from Top Chef got kicked off for tasting with his fingers not for double dipping a spoon. Or am I confused?
Yep, checked the wiki… it was his finger.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Top_Chef_(season_1)
Flipit…very very very funny.
I cringed while wathing the dessert and drinks party.
Dana’s outfit was shiteous.
Someone needs to burn Kim’s white pants. I don’t want to see them again.
Snootchy, I bow to your superior memory. But you did introduce another disquieting thought: not only is double dipping going on every day in 99.9% of the world’s restaurants, but finger dipping too. And please don’t even try to imagine where those fingers have been.
I just watched this episode, and if you look closely, you will see that there wasn’t any double dipping of the spoon. They each used a different spoon and it wasn’t the one she was using to cook with. Although, I am pretty sure that double dipping goes on in most restaurants around the world. It’s the dog in the kitchen that I have trouble with. Anything that licks it’s own butt does not belong near food – just as a general rule.
Plath, I was thinking, how efn gross is Ken carrying both dogs into the dinigh room closely hovering over the table. I hate typing this but, you know that man did not wash his hands before he ate either. PUKE!
I’m in danger of wandering away from the main topic of this thread, but not too long ago there was quite a bit of news coverage about the grossness of that wedge of lemon in your drink. Lemon skins are crawling with all sorts of invisible nastiness, but does anybody in restaurants wash those lemons before cutting them up for you? You know the answer.
I’m grossed out by double dipping of strangers, but not my husband. And I am not grossed out by dogs in the kitchen either. Does every dog owner have a baby gate to keep them out of the kitchen? I’d bet they don’t.
Oh and off topic but that bit on Survivor was SO GROSS that I actually had to cover my face. All of that spitting and drooling was revolting. However, I know deep inside that as gross as it all was, I still would have eaten that meat. LOL I just would have cooked the shit out of it first. Or… the spit out of it, to be more exact.
Everywhere I have lived, it has been strictly illegal to bring dogs (seeing-eye dogs excepted) into restaurants and even grocery stores. So I am wondering if there is some special dispensation in L.A. for the very wealthy to bring their dogs into restaurants, or is that a privilege afforded to everyone?
ok after several viewings of the conversation between BRANDI and CAMIELLE. The girls are playing and someone asks wheres KIM? Kyle Did not even know she was gone! hmm.. she frantically gets up and yells KIM! asks the bartender WHERES MY SISTER? Bartender tells her in the bathroom and Kyle asks With Her coffee!?!? FYI Kim tasted kims cofee earlier and only said it was “NON ALCOHOLIC” clearly they used some coke powder or something. RIGHT AFTER TAYLOR gets up and asks DANA “is there another bathroom WE can go too?” “grabs purse” THEY GO. BRANDI DIDNT NOTICE EVERYONE WAS FUCKING DOING COKE AND SHIT? IT WASNT JUSTTT KIM!! EVERYONE WAS. dana even said “shes calling me pam make it stop” 3X even after brandi stopped. Taylor look scared out of her mind and camielle even said “shes not trying to hide it i think” LMAO THATS WHY KIM N KYLE GOT DEFENSIVE. it was A SHOCK for me to notice that.
@Kenzie, that’s one of the reasons I’m so disturbed by the whole need to publicly out Kim as an addict/alcoholic. Is she really the only person who uses whatever and/or that they have ever seen under the influence? I would only be surprised if Adrienne and/or Paul used. The others, not so much. This is Beverly Hills/Hollywood after all.
I would have had to shut the tv off & never watch Survivor again if I had seen that. I don’t watch the show because it doesn’t catch my attention and I’ve heard they’ve had to eat gross things. No thanks. #squeamish
Oh and in my LIFE I’d never seen dogs in restaurants until I went to Paris in the 90′s. We went to a restsurant where patrons had their dogs right at the table in their booths! Granted, it was a section of the restaurant that was an overflow and was “outside” but covered completely in plastic tarp (hard to describe), but it was a restaurant. I was shocked! I’ve never seen that in the U.S.
Well Thatswhatshesaid, You know people in LA…they like to think they are European! (Says the girl who lives in LA.)