Previously, Bbitz wrote a hilarious recap so I could go to Disney World! There, I saw lots and lots of fat sloppy poor people without plastic surgery. Fuck real life. TV is better. Never doing that again.
Speaking of sloppy messes, let’s open with Camille Shlemiel Frasier! Hubby’s away for a year, and Camille’s going to keep her girl parts in working order so when he gets back it will be like coming home.
We’re so about to play around with balls. LOL.
Yup. Got two right here. Heh heh.
You like balls? Yeah. Balls. Gonna put those balls in your mouth big boy?
Um…we should probably start playing.
Camille is gonna flirt with a hot guy while her husband’s gone. Pleasing yourself is a huge part of being rich, and if Frasier doesn’t like it, well he shouldn’t have made her so gd rich. Can’t tell if the poor guy’s into it or not, but Camille obviously doesn’t know much about tennis. It’s like she just saw that tennis court out there one day and thought “hey. I haven’t fucked a young person on that thing yet and Tuesday’s good a day as any.”
Camille mostly hangs with dudes when her husband’s away cuz she likes playing sports with them. Missed ball. She plays lots of sports. Missed ball. Like….paddleboard. In her defense, it’s not like Frasier’s a prince and we know what ended up happening with him, but still. You don’t get welcomed into Daddy Warbuck’s mansion and fuck Punjab. It’s just rude.
The only exercise she’s used to is working on her Hooter’s version of the Flashdance opening in her studio a couple times a year and grinding up on old married guys at football games, so she’s understandably flushed from having to run and aim and swing and stuff. The last part of the lesson is watching the hot instructor serve while she shouts “gorgeous! That was amaaaaaazing!” You gotta hand it to her, she knows how to work people in LA. You basically just make them feel super hot and smart and boom. Mansion. My eyes are rolled so far to the back of my head I see the other side of my male pattern baldness. She’s just so awkward and desperate for us all to see her as sexually attractive. You remember when we were younger and being thought of as a slut was a bad thing?
Let’s move on to Adrienne!
One procedure too far.
Adrienne’s house is so big that she has to call her husband on an intercom to invite him into her library. His reaction is pretty much what mine would be. “UGH.” He packs a bag of whine and shleps all the way over there. She wants to take a trip with the girls to see Jay Z at the Palms. The Real Housewives: Jay Z’s Target Demo. Can’t you guys get Liza to play? He does his whine pester thing and says it would be fun and it could be a trip with the guys, too. Adrienne is annoyed. Her face doesn’t move, but her eyes narrow a little bit. She should be nominated for a Best Display of Emotion Without Using A Single Facial Movement (Except for the Eyes) Emmy.
Hubby likes to play the needy “I just wanna be with you, babe” card a lot, but it seems to only be when she’s planning some kind of fabulous, expensive trip, which I find respectable. Plus, he seems to just be fuckin’ with her to get on her nerves.
Look I have a mustache.
She looks like she wants to throw herself through the window, but she just got Nerf material put in her nose and she wants to give it time to set. In the end, she gives Shlubby his way and agrees to a guys’ and girls’ trip. He makes sure that she’s gonna get the best seats possible for the trip with his friends that she’s gonna pay for and tag along on and then he’s out of there, his sneakers squeaking all the way back to the subway station down the hall that he took to get there. To make herself feel better, Adrienne reminds us that her family owns the Palms so she gets special treatment there. She made the mistake of taking friends to a place that her family didn’t own once and they ended up waiting to be sat for forty five minutes at Outback.
Thank goodness someone was outside Camille’s place getting a crane shot, cuz Adrienne’s calling. “I MISS YOU!” Meaningful nod, “Me toooo.” Camille nods super earnestly at the speakerphone while showing off as much money as possible in one shot.
I’m chewing gold gum right now, you just can’t see it.
Wanna go to Vegas? Hells yes! It’s the only place she can truly feel like Frasier. Every time she wanders into a strip club everyone raises a glass and shouts “CAMIIIIIILE!”
Adrienne wants to include Camille cuz they’ve been friends for awhile and she seems lonely. And because they’re on a Bravo show together and if you want free publicity for your interests sometimes you have to suck it up and pretend you don’t wanna hang up on the bimbo goo gooing and gagaing on the other end of the line. “Ooooooh? Reeeeeallly? VEEEEGAS? You and Paul are a rioooooot! I looooove it! K doll I’m gonna put you on hold and my gal will pick up and take all the information down. Don’t forget to send a car you’re goooooorgeous.” Click.
Frasier’s off “doing his own thing”, so “why not do something for me?” She looks straight in the camera and tells us in all seriousness that all she does is stuff for everyone else. She got that hot tennis player some work, she entertained some old dudes at a basketball game b y stripper dancing on the mascot, she asked her nanny if her sick son was feeling better, …
I need some me time.
Ah, the streets of BevHills.
That poor puppy probably doesn’t appreciate being at eye level with your camel toe, ma’am.
Lisa goes into one of her restaurants to prep for a pre Vegas party she’s throwing for the girls and makes sure the chef is going to go all out and make every little detail puuuuuhfect. He nods a lot and tries not to stare at the black bra showing under her blouse.
Why won’t anyone look me in the eye today dahling?
Once she’s done with her “working woman” routine, she orders her gay, Leech, around a bit and welcomes her guests. Adrienne is first, and Lisa is too polite to WTF when A tells her they’ll be going to a Jay Z concert. She doesn’t know what that means. All she knows is she’ll be doing Vegas with a chick that literally owns the town. Anyway, there are better things to worry about right now. They are all finally getting to meet Taylor’s charming husband. Lisa says that all she’s heard from Taylor about her man is that he’s a big sexy rough and rugged cowboy. So of course, once she actually saw him, all she could say was…
Russell is outshclubbed by Shelemiel, who comes in and starts dead fish face air kissing everyone. She’s fucking ridiculous.
Too affected by chemicals. Gut it and we’ll use it for gumbo.
Lisa admits that there’s a lot of fake ass bitches in her hood, but there’s no way she’d live anywhere else. Fake people are easier to look at than all the bad teeth and pastiness where she comes from. Shots of double cheek kissing. All it takes is one bad apple for every woman in Beverly Hills to start walking around with oozing sores on their cheeks.
They all settle down for dinner and Lisa tells them a mirror was stolen out of the bathroom. No one looks at Camille, which they should all be given credit for. I think it was Leech. That shit’s probably on craigslist right now. Kim has a date later tonight! She practices her sexy, interested date faces.
No, not that one.
The guys joke that she should bring the date out to meet everyone, and Sister agrees that the guy should be screened cuz Kim’s man choices usually blow. Then she looks at her like “yeah I said it!”
Oh lord with these two. No one wants to deal with you. Kyle says that she should pick Kim’s next man. She does have a talent for finding guys to put up with fucknuts crazy.
Kim looks like a kicked puppy. But that just might be because she hasn’t had all the plastic surgery to make her face look like everyone else’s. Normal skin looks miserable in this room. She’s liked being alone all these years. Who needs a man when you’ve got kids and a sister who made a deathbed promise to take care of you around? Camille starts in on how she needs a man there now, cuz it’s been super hard on her with her kid being sick for two days while Frasier’s galavanting around doing a play for a year. “I mean, I do have help, but still…”
Kyle gives her that special “you didn’t even have your own children, skank” look that only a mother of five natural borns could every truly wear. Camille is the “Bitch Deserved What She Got” poster child. Kyle wants to throttle her, but she stays calm during dinner and watches Camille “oooh ahhhh you actually see your children? GOOD FOR YOOOOOOU.” Have you ever rooted for a guy to impregnate a stewardess and dump his wife? Me neither. It feels kinda awesome.
Now let’s watch Lisa and her husband pack for Vegas! Surely there has to be something other than that to this scene, right? No? Well….she has a made named Rosia. Done. Next! If you ever wanted to put Kyle into a shell shocked stupor and make her rock back and forth and talk gobbledeygook, just put some Veet in her conditioner and stand back.
We get it. You have HAIR. YAAAAY YOU.
Kyle doesn’t know anything that Jay Z “sings”, but she knows that he’s married to Beyonce so that’s enough reason for her to like him. I’m sure he hears that like ten times a day. Poor little homely fella. Kyle packs a shitload of clothes for her two day trip. I think if I had that husband I would just wear him all weekend.
Let’s check in with Taylor! Wait. Let’s wait for her to take the industrial size vacuum hose off her face. It looks like an alien is eating her. Ah, there. She’s finished. Now let’s check in with Taylor!
She’s not moving. Someone get her some water.
Taylor’s packing for the big weekend in Vegas too, and she reminds her husband the cowboy sex symbol that he needs to pack too. So he comes upstairs and whispers a bunch of things he wants her to pack for him. She would make him pack himself, but then he might go bang some twenty year old with all its original body parts and she’ll have to figure out how to squeeze a living out of her little job thing. Oh by the way, he’s leaving on Saturday to go take a meeting in Scottsdale. It’ll just be half a day! She almost gets mad, but realizes that he could have told her he was leaving her on Saturday to go bang some twenty year old. He rattles off his list for her to pack: pants, some shirts, condoms that may or may not be used to bang some twenty year old, and maybe a tie or something. She thanks him for the list, and as he leaves she drops to the floor and does some pushups before putting the vacuum hose back on her face for another twenty minutes or so. DAMN TWENTY YEAR OLDS! She must have signed a prenup. Women who get half don’t live in fear like that. Look how calm Camille is!
Look at that moving thing that brought my luggage around! How loooooovely! Thank you moving luggage thing! This place is so quaaaaaint!
The couples arrive in Vegas! We didn’t get to see Kyle freak about flying, which leads me to guess that it was commercial this time. So. TACKY. If a friend had asked me to Vegas and flew me out commercial I’d be on the first Southwest flight back home. If my parents had enough frequent flyer points to lend me. I’d hitch if I had to. It’s called DIGNITY.
A super embarrassing rented Jeep Grand Cherokee limo picks them up at the airport.
Sorry about your penis.
Everyone has fun on the ride making silly Vegas jokes that Camille laughs too hard at. She’s around people without Frasier! No one’s talking about what a mistake Shelly Long made or trying to suggest that Hank wasn’t one of the worst pieces of crap ever put on TV. She’s not gonna be sad at all the the conversation’s not gonna all be about him. She’s gonna get a whole weekend to be herself! Lord help her and anyone near her. She shouldn’t just be herself. She’ll turn right back into a stripper. Frasier doesn’t let her talk much cuz she’s a dumbass. He’s protecting her. There. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. If she doesn’t come back with a fanny pack full of dollars I’ll eat crow. Did people ever really eat crow when they were wrong about something back in the day? Thank God we live in the future.
Adrienne jokes “remember that what happens at the Palms doesn’t stay at the Palms!” Go to Treasure Island then. I’ve always found that establishment quite reliable on the privacy front. Poor Taylor’s husband looks like he’s gonna kill himself.
20yearold20yearold20yearold…wait did she just say Frasier? I love that show! I’m so asking her about that later.
Adrienne looks us straight in the eye and shrugs: “I’m not much of a showoff.” LOL. First week was a private jet to see your basketball team. Second week it was a photoshoot in your underwear for the Thrifty Nickel complete with blazing hot model, and this week is a VIP trip to your casino in Vegas. I’m behind you girl, if only because you’re the richest person I’ve been friends with, but come on now. Show off! As long as you’re showing it to me. She takes her friends to the new rich people’s suite, and Taylor finds the perfect inspiration for the mouth she’s buying the second she lands back in LA.
Hey, that twenty year old is eating that old lady!
Infomercial for the Palm’s suite. It has a basketball court in it cuz Adrienne owns a basketball team. That’s great and all, but with this crowd it might have been smarter to get a smaller room and brought in the actual basketball team. Naked. But thanks for showing us the most uncomfortable hotel room ever built.
Could you call room service and have them send up a twenty year old?
Taylor chills for a bit with her sex object cowboy husband in their suite and then gives him shit for having to go to work. She says that she wanted to marry for love and not standing, but she knew that when she met cowboy he worked all the time and wasn’t gonna be there to hold her hand. She doesn’t say whether or not she married him for love. She does say that she’s not sure if she made the right choice. What do you think, Russell? Russell?
Hi. I’d like to order the filet mignon with a side of twenty year old please.
Kyle walks into a store and shouts “Money! I mean Honey, come on!” LOL. Meanwhile, Kim’s alone in her room being sad and deciding that she needs a man. Kyle doesn’t answer when she calls cuz she’s out spending her husband, so Kim walks to the floor to ceiling windows to see if any of Las Vegas recognizes her.
I WAS AN IIIIICOOOOON! Anybody theeeere??
Time for a large, lavish dinner in a private room at a restaurant in the casino. Camille makes a big show of telling the waiter that she doesn’t drink. Kyle looks like she wants to stick her fork in Camille’s throat. Camille will nurse one drink all night but any more and she’ll have to be carried home! That’s what they all say. An hour before they’re wasted and boning a pack of bellboys in the elevator. I told you I can’t driiiiiink!
Kyle teases her about at least ordering something fun. She doesn’t like Camille much, and who can blame her? You can’t trust people who don’t drink. They’re either A. Pussies B. Poor or C. Alcoholics who could fall off the wagon at any second and steal your blu ray player right out from under you.
Adrienne’s husband tells a story about how she made him dinner once when they first met that consisted of a frozen chicken breast. HAHA. She’s rich. Cook your own damn dinner. She also had a yapping dog that wouldn’t shut up. It was sitting there, with that nasty chicken and yappy uncontrollable dog, that hubby thought “she’s gonna be a great mother.” I think he’s the only man that would have ever come to that conclusion on that night.
Next, it’s Kyle’s hot rich husband to talk about how he fell in love with Kyle cuz she already had her oldest and he could see what a great mother she was. AW! Kyle was a single mom and married a guy that rich? She should play some craps cuz that’s one lucky biatch.
OMG. There’s some sort of golden ticket in my steak. This is crazy!
So happy for you.
Sad music starts playing after rich hot hubby’s sweet story, and we focus on Kim’s depressing ass. She’s depressed. The end. So how did Camille and Kelsey meet? Well, his manager met her (somewhere unspecified) and thought his client might like her. So Kels flew to NY to meet her and the rest is history! Ummm….there’s a lot missing from that story. Where were you when the manager met you? Were you on your knees? And who goes to NY to inspect a woman like she’s a damn horse? And did you just say up front “no prenup and I’m not having my own children” or did that arrangement just kinda fall into your lap? I’m not buying it, and neither is Kyle. Which means I like her but also suspect her of being like me. Which isn’t good for anyone.
Taylor’s Cowboy, how did you guys meet? His lawyer called her lawyer…everyone laughs, thinking it’s a joke. Camille giggles about a prenup, and he makes it very clear that there was a prenup before he ever even met her. Ouch. Lisa looks mortified at that one. The girls dart looks at Camille, but she’s as oblivious as ever and besides, even though she has no sense of humor, she was kidding. He wasn’t. What a jerk. I hope Taylor gets some self confidence and marries a hot young poor guy for love. KIDDING! I hope she learns to suck it up and starts a secret Swiss bank account to stow money away for a peaceful old age.
The story is sad. She says that they were at a restaurant and when she saw him across the room she decided that she would be with him “one way or another.” Lisa clears her throat, kinda grossed out. Taylor chased cowboy for months and months before he agreed to be with her. Kyle and Lisa both laugh openly at that and Kyle asks “you were chasing him? What’s wrong with this picture?” Cowboy doesn’t get it. Lisa can’t believe such a gorgeous on the inside and out sort of woman would chase some jerkoff. Oh, sheltered, sweet Lisa. Insecure girls have to exist or ugly guys would never get laid. It’s how God balances things in the universe. And yes, Taylor’s hotter than cowboy now, but who knows what she looked like back when he met her?
After dinner, it’s off to the Palms’ nightclub, where Camille gets a chance to be herself. She does this by being a total stripper, of course. She’s flapping her jayjay all over the place and Adrienne’s hubby gets kinda turned on and gives her money.
WHAT DID I TELL YOU? Dollars.
Adrienne looks totally psyched.
I wanna show you this secret room we have.
Adrienne gets up and starts dancing with her man, as awkwardly as possible. But who cares? Even cowboy is dancing and he’ll make anyone look like they completed the Breakin’ and Popping Book.
It’s cute to see so many couples in love. Even Kyle is dancing with the love of her life.
Camille gets friendly with a balcony bar and goes to stripper town. Lisa says she needs a pole. Or dance lessons. WTF is she even doing? If I was there I’d be worrying that she was having seizures while we all just sat back and gave her dirty looks.
Shouldn’t we, like, give her a blanket to bite down on or something?
A trashy vacant user slut acting like a trashy vacant user slut? NOT IN MY VEGAS!
Kyle not so subtly comes in between Money and Camille. Good for her. Lucky she didn’t get her stupid ass thrown off the balcony. The girls touch up in the bathroom and Taylor borrows some of Camille’s blush. It’s called Orgasm. I’d like to think if there weren’t cameras there that Lisa would have smashed Camille’s head into the sink to make her wash the desperate hooker off her. Instead, she jokes that she already had an orgasm today. No one really buys that, so Taylor finishes blushing and Camille douses a sponge with lighter fluid and shoves it up her hooha. It’s almost time for the dance she did at her and Frasier’s wedding.
If fire comes out of that thing I’m quitting this show, dahling.
These women are too nice. It’s gonna take an entire season for Camille to get her due. You know who we need here right now?
The next morning, Lisa and Kyle show up at the pool with as many clothes on as possible. They look like they’re relaxing before a nice long Easter Sunday. Kyle hasn’t eaten all week to prepare to not hate herself in Vegas, and Lisa warns her that Camille will be at the pool making them both hate their bodies any second. May as well have Crisco shake and relax. Sure enough, Camille comes down not dressed like a hooker. Wait. Those chicks in Fredricks of Hollywood mags weren’t hookers, right? I think they were called ladies of the night or something.
She’s immediately in the middle of the husbands. She tells us it’s because she likes sports. LOL. Camille is so. Fucking. Predictable. The men ooh and ahhhh over her and don’t say a single thing about sports while the wives each visualize her being put through a meat grinder. Teehee. Shots? Why, I don’t drink! Ok then I’ll hold a shot. Teeheegigglegigglefrasiergiggle I’m just holding it you guys cuz I don’t driiiiink! Sip sip.
Finally Lisa’s like “just drink the fucking thing before I shove the glass down your throat whole, dahling.” Then Camille does exactly what you’d think she’d do. She licks the lime and points at the girls. “You’re trying to get me to drink! You guys are trying to get me to drink!” Let’s just get that clear now, cuz in about five minutes I’m gonna be rubbing my non baby making twat up against your men and it will be all your fault cuz you forced me to drink after I told you I don’t drink!
The guys are fun “cuz they don’t edit themselves!” They wanna slap your face with their penises, they just come right out and say it. The women? They’re not bitches or anything. They’re just “still editing themseeeelves!” You’re lucky they are, otherwise you’d have some mighty bad words being hurled at you right now, Shlemiel.
Oh my god do you guys feel something? I totally feel something! I’m druuuunk! I’M FUCKING THIS WHOLE POOL AND NO ONE WILL SAY KELSEY TO ME FOR A WHOLE YEEEEEAR!
Why did I wear this? Why did I eat? Will it look desperate if I whipped my hair around and stuff?
Camille tells the group a really fascinating story about getting her boob implants taken out cuz she likes sports so much. If I could reach, I’d give Kyle a fork to stick her with. The doctor told her how amazeballs her real boobs were as Frasier sobbed in the waiting room. The guys think this story is fantastic. Kyle and Lisa are feeling the hate, but they keep calm. Which is extremely disappointing. NeNe, please do a crossover.
Yo ass is ghe. TTO.
Taylor comes down to the pool, and the guys tease her about Russell being away on the golf course somewhere “making deals”, but all she can hear is “20yearold20yearold20yearold” so she’s super sad. Everyone takes note, but what can they do? You can’t marry an a hole and then suddenly act surprised he’s being an a hole. I am bringing too much thought to this. Taylor’s sad. Let’s ponder her upper lip for a bit.
Now everyone talks about getting ready for the evening. Jesus you guys slow down. These are the things poor people do in Vegas: binge, lose, and sit. Rich people move around too much. Calm down. Play some video poker. Fuck a stranger. Take a nap. God I wanna go to Vegas.
At dinner, Lisa and Kyle have their husbands order their drinks for them because they never have to order them themselves. A. I don’t believe that for a second and B. Aaaawww! Their husbands are so loving and sweet! So let’s welcome Taylor and Cowboy to be a really sad distant couple that doesn’t belong together! Taylor is awkward, but her nipples are are marching to the beat of their own drum line.
Cowboy says that he spent the day in Tuscon, then Phoenix. Um, I’m pretty sure that earlier he said he was going to Scottsdale. He’s not even trying to lie well! Just come up with any random city in Arizona? Although I’m impressed he got three. He ain’t rich for nothin. Kyle rolls her eyes at his terrible lying. If Kyle would speak as much as she rolled her eyes, this show would be number one in the ratings. Camille enters in a tube dress, because she’s Camille. She teases Cowboy about coming back from the golf course and then looky there! It’s Hot Tennis Instructor! Or some other hot blonde that Camille hangs with. They’re kind of interchangeable.
Camille wraps herself around him like a love handle to an arm rest. She says that he’s one of Frash’s besties and he was probably sent to spy on her. Riiiight. I’m sure he’s in NY worried about what your stupid ass is up to. I think he pretty much figures she’s doing someone. He didn’t meet her at church. Anyway, she seems to want everyone to think that she’s banging the guy. And they do. They I love you each other and kiss on the lips and stuff. EW. Kyle makes snotty comments to us about it and meows, but it’s not enough. I want hair pulling. Adrienne jokes that the guys are all depressed now that Camille has one man to sexually harass her. She’s right, and the guys don’t deny it. LOL.
Camille is enjoying the attention and asking Hot Guy loudly if he likes to come to Vegas to have good sex as a big tray of cotton candy and hohos come out. Camille is kinda disgusting to watch. But Taylor is downright SCARY.
Concert time. Lisa insists that she has no idea what’s going on and she’s too old for this poo, but this is what we see:
She says that she doesn’t even understand the lyrics, except for “ma nigga” every couple of words. LOLOLLL. Bravo is intent on proving that British ladies are completely racially awkward. Taylor only knows “the New York song. Something about New York.” Scottsdale. Start there and get some real work done, girl. Camille is feeling (like it’s probably time to leave these hags and fuck the tennis pro) awkward around the bonding women and gets outta there faster than a roach when the light flicks on.
Cowboy plays pool and watches Taylor get wasted and chat with the girls. He doesn’t like it and goes to inform her that it’s time to get some food. She acts all abused and victimized by this and Lisa and Kyle are annoyed that he’s such a controller, but when a man comes up to me when I’m having fun and wasted and tells me he’s gonna buy me food? Is when I’ll know it’s time to get married. Taylor says that Cowboy drives the bus in this relationship and that’s just how it is. I think we already have a “Bitch deserves exactly what she got” poster child for today…
…but Taylor’s a close second. There’s only five minutes left, but that’s plenty of time for some shit to go down! Kyle goes shopping with her kid and starts gossiping about the trip. She says that Camille was talking about spending the upcoming week in Hawaii, so Kyle started pestering her with questions about it. Cuz that’s what she does. Then Camille got offended and in a snooty fake ass Kabbulshit way asked “Why are you so bothered by this?” Kyle’s impersonation of Camille is dead on. “I feel your teeension.” She added that she doesn’t like being interrogated. Kyle was of course taken aback cuz all she wanted was to see how her new fr….oh come on I’m not even gonna finish that typing it cuz you know Kyle was being a nosy bitch and Camille told her to back the f down. I loves me some Kyle. She asks her psychology major daughter what all this means, and she answers “It means that nothing changes after high school.” I’m sorry, you’re too intelligent for this show. Pack your things and go live in a dorm until filming’s over.
Camille is shopping too, with Lisa. If you wanna see people do something worthwhile, change the channel and stop your whining. This is Bravo. She tells Lisa that the trip ended on an awkward note with Kyyyyle and she was really huuuurt because Kyle asked “why would anyone want you around without Kelsey?” during that conversation about Hawaii. I. Am so. SURE. How does that even make sense in that conversation? And I think Kyle’s pretty much proven that she has no problem standing behind what she says. Lisa looks like she’s not buying this heap of bs either, and explains it away as Camille hearing something that Kyle didn’t exactly say. That’s the charming British way of saying “Bitch, you psycho.”
My question is, where were the cameras? Isn’t that the point of following these women around? Just waiting for them to get drunk enough to have a stupid argument about nothing? Shame on you, camera men. Unless you’re saving the footage for a showdown of some sorts, in which case you’re brilliant.
So that’s it! Not a whole lot happened, but we got a pretty amazing first glance at the wreck pathological Camille’s gonna be so that’s something to be grateful for. Happy Halloween, truckas!
Ronnie Karam has been with TVgasm since 2006 , which has given him the opportunity to make fun of hundreds of TV's most loved and hated reality whores. His plan in life was to be Julia Roberts but that plan was stolen by, well, Julia Roberts. He'll get you one day, JULIA ROBERTS!! When not making himself giggle for the gasm, Ronnie performs improv and sketch comedy at IO West in Hollywood a couple of times weekly while using the lovely California days to audition for commercial roles such as "ADORABLE MEXICAN UNCLE". Seriously. He would like to thank Jesus, Buddha and Xenu for the blessings they've bestowed. The writers here are the best around, and he's honored to be associated with them. Find video archives at CankleTV.com, or follow on Twitter @flipit