RHOBH: Sisters Do As Sisters Should!

38 Comments

1. 1
   ohralphie
   Posted October 26, 2010 at 2:20 pm

   My god bbitz, you are fucking hilarious. I love the picture you ended the recap with. It cannot be more perfect!

2. 2
   Matt Lam
   Posted October 26, 2010 at 2:39 pm

   How could she have MET Louis Vuitton? He’s been dead for about a hundred years?

   Unless she’s meant Patrick-Louis Vuitton? Whatevs. Good recap!!

3. 3
   Faye
   Posted October 26, 2010 at 2:40 pm

   I believe our delicious piece of chocolate eye candy is the same male model from ANTM … One of the models, Kacey, took an instant shiner to him (can’t blame her) I believe he was on 2 or 3 episodes. Dude is becoming very popular eye candy
   I read the recaps but cannnot bring myself to watch this snooze-fest. There is just way too much face tightening going on; it’s painful to watch.

4. 4
   Jessica
   Posted October 26, 2010 at 2:41 pm

   Did anybody else notice that when Kyle and Kim were fighting the orange slice on Kyle’s drink would be there one moment and then gone the next? Nice editing Bravo. Isn’t there someone who’s supposed to be watching these things? It was so obvious that they filmed the fight twice or cut it up and switched it around to make it better.

5. 5
   TCM
   Posted October 26, 2010 at 2:45 pm

   She met Christian Loubiaton..I’m too lazy to look up the right spelling..The shoes with the red soles

6. 6
   lindaw205
   Posted October 26, 2010 at 4:13 pm

   ‘Halloween’ was on tv last night and there was little Kyle Richards!

7. 7
   valmommyt
   Posted October 26, 2010 at 5:54 pm

   I wasn’t going to watch this show at first. It took me 3 seasons to get into Orange County, and now I think they are just sad. Liked exactly 1 season of New York, and that was the season Bethany and Jill were still friends, and Bethany was funny (she’s still funny,btw). The DC wives I just thought were as boring as hell, didn’t make it thru one ep. Now, the Atlanta housewives? I NEVER miss an ep, because them bitches is crazy!!

   Anyway, Beverly Hills wives. I confess I couldn’t tell the 3 (4?) blonds apart, until I got used to their individual plastic surgeries done. Kim is 2 steps away from needing to spend time in a mental ward, probably around the time her daughter finally moves to Houston. Lisa cracks me up, Andy Cohen asked if she was the missing Collins sister, and she DOES look and act like them! She denied it, but, I still wonder. I have a total girl crush on Kyle, although I think it may just be her hair, so gorgeous! I love how she, as the YOUNGER sister, promised her mother she would take care of Kim, and it’s like she’s just now realizing what a bad idea THAT was! Plus, they have REAL money – be honest, we all wanna see how much money they can spend on crap they don’t need! OC housewives used to be like that, but I think that area got hit by a recession, they just don’t seem to have fun anymore. So, that’s my rambling way of saying, good recap bbitz! Will Flipit let you do the whole series, or was this just a one off?

8. 8
   chemgal
   Posted October 26, 2010 at 6:05 pm

   I love the Maloof’s. If they are faking the real ‘coupleness’ between them, I will be surprised. The little looks that pass between them and the little smiles seem like the stuff of couples who are comfortable with one another and still have some of the spark that drew them together.
   Camille disgusts me and no woman since Kate Gosselin is as deserving to have her husband cheat on her. I only wish Kelsey had made her sign a prenup.

9. 9
   Zombie Cheez
   Posted October 26, 2010 at 6:11 pm

   I love the Maloof’s too!!! Back to reading…

   Oh yeah, I abhor Camille-toe

10. 10
    Robinez
    Posted October 26, 2010 at 7:04 pm

    I agree Chemgal. They certainly seem to be one of the better suited couples we have seen on the RH. They don’t seem fakey fake at all. During the Turkey chili incident it seemed like he was trying to push her buttons in a fun way and she acted as though he has done this many times and she has put up with it in the same spirit many times too. They have all the signs of a couple truly comfortable with each other.

    TC, Robin

11. 11
    wetdream09
    Posted October 26, 2010 at 9:30 pm

    i love this show!!! better then all the other house wife franchises!! way way better then D.C. i love Lisa she’s way cooler then Lynda!

12. 12
    Zombie Cheez
    Posted October 26, 2010 at 9:46 pm

    OMG – Ending with Junice was the absolute best!!! I just posted that in an FB group a few days ago

    I love The Maloof and her hubby (I actually think he’s kind of cute), I think they’re my favorites. Adrienne is a true and involved activist for the ASPCA and a few organizations for homeless and under-privledged kids. Anyone who puts their money where their mouth is with animal activism is okay in my book; with deprived and underserved kids even better – now if she could work on getting their moms off government cheese and 20 hour a day internet habits, I might actually nominate her for sainthood.

    I still love Lisa Van der Pump, but I would like her better if she would get Cedric dipped in chocolate then let the Richards sisters’ kids rip him apart like a party favor. Maybe let Jiggy get a few nibbles in (of the non-chocolate part of the confection). I have a sneaking suspicion Ken might actually be Robert Plant, but operating under an alias due to the pinkification of his wardrobe and his unhealthy and girly obsession with Pikachu and Lollipop (names I suspect Lisa gave his testicles years ago, I think the dogs are all that are left of those).

    Of the Richards sisters I have a sneaking suspicion that Kyle is the crazier one, Kim is too Tennessee Williams for my taste – but I think Kyle has more than a tad of Baby Jane Hudson lurking in the folds of her dead mother’s canasta-party hostess muumuus. I’m Team Kim in that goat rodeo so far. I thought Kyle was vile at the Sonya Dakar salon party – Kim should have kicked her ass right out the door.

    Taylor lives in the ghetto, why is she buying Chanel? Her whole house could fit in Adrienne’s suite at the Palms. Why is she here? BTW, here’s how you raise a child with financial advantages without spoiling them: make them work for what they have, and don’t overindulge in bullshit. Yes, rich people manage it all the time – in fact most actual wealthy families have high standards and expectations in education and work ethics, and their kids don’t carry Louis Vuitton backpacks to school. The ones that don’t are the ones you read about, because they’re fuck ups. Also, she’s asking BRODY JENNER’s mom how to make your kids appreciate what they have?? HAHAHAHA!!!! FAIL.

    I hate Camille-toe. She’s so fake-sweet, I think she has a giant Pixie stick in her ass – I think that would make any bowel irritable. I’m glad Kelsey dumped her, the guy works hard for his money, he ought to get to enjoy a little of it. I think he’s banging a plain Jane because going from Camille-toe and her army of Sisty Uglers to anything approaching actual beauty would probably trigger a massive coronary.

    Great recap bBitz – loved it!

13. 13
    kdfinjpn
    Posted October 26, 2010 at 10:02 pm

    bBitz!! Awesome, as usual. I loved the comment about Kim’s giant diamond being CZ – LOL! I also agree with Chemgal and Robin about the Maloofs. It seems to me that they really do love and care about each other. That said, I still guffawed at the “Ron Jeremy/Gorilla love child” comment because, let’s face it, it was freaking hilarous! Thanks for filling in this week – a bBitz recap is always a pleasure!

14. 14
    Robinez
    Posted October 26, 2010 at 10:30 pm

    “Remember when you kids would get so excited to see a train?!” I was almost sure one of them was going to mumble, “It was because we figured our next father was coming into town.”

    And/scene.

    LOL Wonderful recap Bbitz. I told everyone! Thanks.

    Hugs, Robin

15. 15
    Robinez
    Posted October 26, 2010 at 10:55 pm

    @Zombie Cheez,

    Too funny. I agree except for your take on Kyle.I Like her, can’t help it. Also, If i remember correctly I saw Kim holding Kyle’s baby in her arms, in the kitchen, telling her that her mother was a baby or something. I think they both play mommy to each other’s kids and there is no boundry there.After reading about their mother it is no wonder.

    Great post My Dear.

    Hugs, Robin

16. 16
    sarcasatire
    Posted October 27, 2010 at 2:35 am

    Now I love my Flip, but Bbitz, if anyone was gonna cover for him on a housewives show, it should be you. You are hilarious and kept me cracking up. And, of course, the jokes in the comments section are no less amusing. Keep it up you guys!

    @Matt: Hey sweets! Good point about Mr. Vuitton. But more importantly, what did you think about Taylor’s new threads? If she needed anymore rhinestones she should just call Christian Audigier. Blech.

    I sure hope this season’s only drama doesn’t only come in the form of over-the-hill sibling rivalry. From the constant bickering, the finger-wagging and neck rolling (oh no she didn’t say she was skinnier than me!), and every child having ‘two mommies’..this is gonna get old really fast. Good thing we have Lisa and her family of drag queens. (Pandora Vanderpump, the time has come…for you to lip synch..for your life!)

    I fell a little bad for Kimbo, tho. She has spent her childhood isolated from other children and hasn’t learned the social skills one might acquire on the playground or in kindergarten. Like learning to share. Your children..with their father. You know, basic skills. And because of that, she is now an awkward adult who panics around new or ‘outside’ people. That’s why she puts up with Kim’s bullying..because she desperately needs the company no matter the form it takes.

    Camille. Sigh. She is so self-satisfied when she has contributed nothing to her lifestyle besides hiring people for her household. I mean, 12 people, in a 3 bedroom?? Seriously, I’dve left her ass, too, Kels. Who wants a wife with shit-streaked thongs followed by a bug-eyed entourage? Me either.

    Brody Jenner’s mom is hideous. I can’t see why she and Bruce ended things, they both love all things plastic. “You want her know what it’s like to not have food? Send her to Africa.” Or..to the nearest soup kitchen and make her volunteer. I’m all for mothers who want their children to have it better than they did but not to the point where the kids are out of touch with reality. Then again, any child looking at those two mugs everyday probably doesn’t even know what a real human looks like.

17. 17
    chemgal
    Posted October 27, 2010 at 4:10 am

    Another way for Taylor to attempt to raise children without too many expectations and a sense of entitlement is to not demonstrate both these traits herself. And if that seems a tad difficult, which I’m sensing it would be for her, then mommy needs to remind the kids that mommy has money, the kids have nothing.

18. 18
    LAC
    Posted October 27, 2010 at 9:54 am

    OMG – BBitz, wonderful recap! Your picture of Lady Camille conversing with Kelsey Grammar while he does lord know what was priceless – I almost spit up my water! It is not just her dance moves, but everything about her that is fake ass and staged. Did anyone else nod off during her mile long walk to her work space? Yes, Mizz staff of 12, we know you gots acreage. I am sure that she has one of the nannies carry her over when the cameras are off.

    Like the Maloofs, weirdly – only because they seem real and their dynamic is funny. Now if I can just get that male model showing up in rest of the shows (no reason, just to be there) that would be great. Or at least gift wrapped and sent to my house in time for Easter.

    I am on Team Kyle – Kim is a needs to medicated black hole of need that I would be exhausted with. Every little comment her way has to challenged in that passive aggressive way that drives me mad. Seriously, short of tying up your kids with the umbilical cord, you can’t keep them with you 24-7.

    Taylor – still cannot look at that puppet face of hers for any long time. And coupled with Linda Thompson (with the Pricilla Pressley cheeks), my HD TV was fit to be tied. And really, if you are going to spend that sort of money, can’t you find clothes that are age appropriate? Does everything she wears have to scream “Desperate Cougar clinging to hubby?” And good luck teaching values to your kid while shimmying in a chanel t-shirt, ya dumb twat…

    Still like the Linda and the hubby – they are bemused by it all and it shows.

19. 19
    susanl
    Posted October 27, 2010 at 1:13 pm

    I loved how Camilla was bragging on all their homes. She said “one home in Hawaii” then 2 seconds later, “two homes in Hawaii”. How many, really, can you count? Did you forget? She also said they have two homes in NYC. Why? And why can’t you put up a dozen of those people in one of the homes? I can understand having a one home in differnt cities but 2 homes in the same area? What a dumba$$. How many times did say Kelsey? Anybody get drunk?
    She reminds me of DeShawn Snow. She needs a staff of 100 to do the work she’s too lazy to do. Creative my foot….

20. 20
    susanl
    Posted October 27, 2010 at 1:31 pm

    Remind me not to eat at the Richards house. Kyle’s hair is beautiful and she knows it so much that it’s always hanging in front. Can’t stand to watch someone cook with their hair hanging in the food. Sorry, but not liking her. She made this big ta-da about wanting Kim to make her potatoes (small amount for such a large group)and then wanted to change the whole dish. She knows Kim is crazy and yet harps on her anyway. What’s up with Kim’s eyebrows? They have no arch, just straight across.

21. 21
    sarcasatire
    Posted October 27, 2010 at 1:59 pm

    @Susan: I think the Grammers have a house in NYC and one in the Hamptons. As far as Hawaii..maybe one is a private home and the other are investment properties..only thought so because she said ‘a home in hawaii..well several properties”, so maybe they’re not all homes..restaurants or golf course? of course, I’m just speculating. Either way, too many homes..one in Colorado, too. How many months out of the year are they occupied? I’d rather just rent a luxe home during the season. No need paying taxes on properties that one lives in just 2 weeks a year. Possibly this works in Camille’s favor because after the divorce, they can each get one in each city. lol

22. 22
    2muchbravo
    Posted October 27, 2010 at 3:41 pm

    @ Susanl Kim has always had straight eyebrow. I remember watching her and little Ike Eisenman scrambling around Witch Mountain when we were all younger. They (the eyebrows)were always like little caterpillars.
    Kyle is very pretty and Bitch looks great for having 5 kids!! And, she and her husband seem to have a genuine relationship (so far).

    Not liking Camille. For someone who wants to separate herself from her husband she sure mentions him every frickin’ chance she gets. I think she’s said, “Kelsey Grammar” about 15 times in 2 episodes. And, is it just me or did he look a little too happy as he was driving away in the first epi?

23. 23
    kate2.0
    Posted October 28, 2010 at 12:03 am

    She didn’t say Louis Vuitton….she said “Lah-boooo-Tawn”….you know – french accent version of Christian Laboutain (who is french?) or however you spell his name….since the shoes were a chocolate version of his shoes…..hence the red soles…

    back to reading.

24. 24
    Classy Drunk
    Posted October 28, 2010 at 5:28 am

    Great recap BBitz. (although it took me 3 days to read it because of this stupid thing called work)

    Camille’s delusion is because of Kelsey I think. To please her he’s probably told her she was a writer and a good dancer and now we all have to suffer because of it.

    I really can’t even keep up with what’s going on when Kyle is on the screen because I am too busy being envious of her hair. But from what I could make out I think I am going to side with Kyle on this one. She tried to not bring the situation but Kim kept pushing the issue so once it was out Kyle said how she felt.

    I love Lisa for this show. She is why I started watching the Housewives in the first place. She’s rich and snooty and I love it!

    Can we please have more hot models on the show? I love that the show was on the my DVR. I was able to rewind that scene multiple times to take in all that chocolatey goodness.

25. 25
    Zombie Cheez
    Posted October 28, 2010 at 7:26 am

    @Classy, I think Lisa VdPump can have Madame Chocolat whip you up the edible version od Shaw…

26. 26
    classy drunk
    Posted October 28, 2010 at 7:59 am

    @Z cheez….My mind immediately went to the gutter with that one.

    Edible Shaw..yum!

27. 27
    Zombie Cheez
    Posted October 28, 2010 at 8:18 am

    And what’s wrong with that?? I happen to like chocolate-covered nuts!

28. 28
    LAC
    Posted October 28, 2010 at 10:03 am

    2muchbravo – you noticed that too? LOL! That was the most enthusiastic buh bye I have heard in a while – and while the car is moving at very fast speed down the driveway. Something tells me ole Kelsey would have done “Death of Salesman” in Orlando to get away from her…

29. 29
    Samela808
    Posted October 28, 2010 at 10:18 am

    I can’t stand Kim but I cringed for her when Kyle & Spa Lady were talking (I think that was The Sonja Dakar, btw) and she referred to Kim as Kyles’s mother. I hope Kyle had the wherewithal to be in Palm Springs when that episode aired. Or maybe the witnes protection program, cause you know that Kim’s gonna find some way to blame her for Spa Lady’s faux pas.

30. 30
    susanl
    Posted October 28, 2010 at 10:57 am

    Where did Lisa and Ken get their richness? We get the child stars, Taylor marrying rich, Adreinne family money and Camille, well….(I’m sure it was her dancing) but didn’t I hear the Vanderpumps (strange name) own a restaurant? Give me the scoop. I just read that Camille said Kelsey (take a swig) “made” her join the show so he could have an affair with the flight attendant.

31. 31
    skatt
    Posted October 28, 2010 at 2:11 pm

    Susani: Wow, that’s so weird. I swore Camille had assured us she was a strong independent woman. Must have misheard.

    Between this and “Their baby died due to Karma”, ClubMTV needs to stop with the random press statements.

32. 32
    Robinez
    Posted October 28, 2010 at 2:51 pm

    Camille’s dancing remends me of what can only be described as what a spastic colon must look like.

    TC,Robin

33. 33
    marijai
    Posted October 28, 2010 at 3:46 pm

    Camille’s dancing reminds me of the Apple commerical with the girl dancing behind the scrim and you can only see the silhouette…except the Apple girl actually knows how to dance (and was just on “Scream Queens”). She’s like those giant “air people” you see outside of car dealers with the air only partially going in so it looks like they are “dancing”.

    I cannot stand Camille!

    Great recap!

34. 34
    Robinez
    Posted October 28, 2010 at 4:10 pm

    “She’s like those giant “air people” you see outside of car dealers with the air only partially going in so it looks like they are “dancing”.”

    Oh Mari!! What a great visual. And You are absoulutely right!! LOL

    TC,Robin

35. 35
    Matt Lam
    Posted October 28, 2010 at 7:06 pm

    @Sarcas: Hola! Yeah, Bravo makes that mistake often. When Kim Z says Louboutin, they write Louis Vuitton. Some people need to be taught French.

    Taylor disgusts me. I don’t know why she’s there. Her house is the size of Lisa’s Master Ensuite. Go away Taylor. I don’t like you, or your bad taste in clothes. I want Camille-Toe to die too. Not just go away, but die. Like, being hanged, where she’d crap her pants too. I want it to be humiliating. I’m so full of hate.

36. 36
    susanl
    Posted October 29, 2010 at 10:05 am

    I saw the re-run of the first ep and it said the VDPumps owned restaurants, etc. After watching the other hwives bios I totally forgot where they got their money.
    Camille’s dancing reminded me of Elaine on Seinfield. Remember the jerky thumbs out episode? Looks just like that.
    I had to giggle again athe wierd laugh Kim does when she describes the night out with Paris and how the pap. liked her better. I doubt Paris has ever been caught dead in public with crazy aunt Kim but I’m sure the voices in Kim’s head told her she was more popular than Paris.

37. 37
    Khakie
    Posted January 6, 2011 at 9:50 pm

    I wonder how Kim reacted when she found out they remade her Escape to Witch Mountain movie

38. 38
    Redbud9
    Posted February 15, 2011 at 5:17 am

    OMG! HYSTERICAL!! I love this column. Just when I think Kyle is the sane sister, I see all the episodes and realize Kyle is a MEAN MEAN foul mouthed bit&h!!! I only WISH she would say something to someone who knocks her out! Taylor is a sorry, phony wannabe. She starts a lot of the trouble and then has the nerve to act to innocent….I wish Kyle would unleash some of her meanness on Taylor!