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Saturday, December 4, 2010
2:00 pm
47 Comments
Thanksgiving was a binge blast over at my place, and I was very sad to realize after I’d bought an entire bucket of chicken and some frozen Milky Ways that I was sitting down to a repeat of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. WTF? How I am I supposed to be thankful? I didn’t have turkey, so I was planning on Camille’s turkey neck to save the day. And I was left in the dark. So I didn’t eat the chicken or the Milky Ways. KIDDING! I ate til I blacked out. Point is, welcome back!!
For some inexplicable reason, the DVR didn’t record this episode. Thankfully I had the computer recorder on so I just missed the first minute. I assume it was filled with Camille acting like an asshole in some way. When MY episode starts, it’s with Kyle taking Kim to get an extreme facial that’s supposed to be as good as plastic surgery without getting actually rubberized. Meh. Not having the threat of a facial melt near an open flame takes all the fun out of paid beauty.
Kim is nervous, cuz the last time she went to the doctor he duct taped her to a chair to try to get her to stop twitching. It was traumatizing and didn’t even work. “Will this hurt?” “Will there be duct tape involved?” “Will I have to get naked?” Just shut up and let the quack toiletpaper you, Kim!
It worked! You look like Carrie Underwood right now!
Wait a second. This surgery-less surgery is starting to look kinda painful.
Once we get that piece of gum you swallowed in the fifth grade out of you, your life will change. Now bite down on a pillow and hum “Mary Had a Little Lamb.”
I don’t know what the hell is going on, but I’ve never heard of a facial that requires covering you in wet washcloths and then turning on electricity. Isn’t that what they do to crazy people now instead of lobotomies?
Are you a witch, yes or no? CONFESS
Kim tells us that Kyle has turned into the big sister because Kim’s always single and needy (of a drink). She wants a man, but she believes it will happen if it’s supposed to. She’s not gonna go driving around in her car picking up strays. She doesn’t believe in miracles. Involving men, at least. She does check under her seat every so often to see if Oprah’s left her a free iPad or something, though.
Nothing. Opes is a stingy bitch.
She went in as Kim and is leaving as Kenny from South Park. I’d say it was worth the cost.
You’re gonna get laid like a rug.
Poor thing. She’s been turned into a walking glory hole. Whatever the hell just happened, it was worth it just to see Kyle and Kim do their weird tribal sister dance in front of the mirror.
Lisa’s invited some old used up tired chainsmoker over. Why? To talk into dating Kim, of course!
The Bachelor: Season 136
Lisa tells Martin that she knows he’s a shallow slut and Kim doesn’t look like any of the prostitutes he normally pays to be around him and she knows that he hates kids and twitches, but…put it all aside cuz you’re old and alone and two desperates always make a great relationship. When she tells him Kim has four kids, he says “does she have any other hobbies?” LOL. He’s hilarious. And horrible.
She seems to be really trying to help Kim, even though she thinks she’s nuttier than a Pay Day. She married an old dude and she’s happy, so maybe it will work out for Kim too. This guy is gross though, and she knows it. It’s like she wrapped herpes and warts up in a nice basket and put a bow on it for her new friend. Awwwww! What must Rosia be thinking?
Por favor, no deje que le agarra el culo de nuevo. Es un hombre monstruo aterrador.
Old Fartin agrees to come to the dinner to meet Kim. After all, Lisa just told him he was desperate and had nowhere to go but up, which is very hard logic to argue with.
Taylor is taking Kennedy to the doctor. Uhoh. It is possible to be too young to get your face blown up like a pair of floaties, Taylor. Oh wait. It’s the vet. She’s gonna have Kennedy put down!!
Don’t worry honey. You’ll be with Satan soon and I’m gonna send a random maid with you to take care of you until Daddy starts getting affected by the small doses of arsenic I’m putting in his coffee.
The real problem is the dog. Taylor points out little rashes on Kennedy and mentions that her eyes are sealed shut every morning with nasty eye boogars. You know she pinched her before they walked into that office and put super glue on her lashes just so an outsider would tell them they have to get rid of the dog. Smart move. I wouldn’t want to have to tell my kid I was getting rid of the only thing in her life that didn’t a. have the personality of a serial killer or b. didn’t look like the entire cast of Finding Nemo squashed into one face.
Sorry, honey. We’ll be injecting your friend with Raid. Here’s a lollipop to make it all better.
Taylor’s so busy trying to con the doc into giving her a little shot of somethin’ somethin’ for her tear ducts that she doesn’t see that Kennedy has spelled out “Fukk u u not my mommee” in blocks.
While we’re on the subject of toxic shots, do you have anything to make my left eye a little more like Deidre Hall’s?
Odd. I can’t find a heartbeat and she’s not breathing.
Taylor says that this is karmic because she told Russell not to get the dog in the first place and she can’t believe Russell’s done this. Um that’s not karma. Karma is marrying a rich homely guy for his money and then having to silently put up with random trips to Scottsdale. There’s something fishy here with this whole allergy thing. Don’t worry, it’s not a face joke.
I know it’s not cool to get a dog for your kid when mommy said no, but she spent sixty grand on a tea party that was basically for herself. I don’t think the dad trying to buy love on a much lower budget is really that terrible, especially when you’re the one paying for the staff that has to feed and water it. Sorry. Logic. Point is, either the dog dies or Kennedy dies. Let’s wait to see what Taylor decides. Taylor? Taylor why aren’t you answering? This is getting awkward. Taylor you’re gonna save Kennedy, right? RIGHT? Crickets.
Kim has a cute lunch with her daughter, who begs her not to act like an ICON and send everything back to the kitchen just to feel like Julia Roberts for a day. The convo turns to Kim’s dating, of course. Kim is so excited to meet the guy Lisa’s picked out for her. She’s convinced Ryan Phillipe will be showing up at her doorstep in a thong any second. Poor thing. I can’t wait to see her face when she sees Fartin. Kimberly, the daughter, says that she wants her mom to get a life and stuff. But in a sweet way. Well, in the sweetest way possible when you’re telling your mom to get a life. She promises not to antagonize the boyfriend this time like she did the time she “accidentally” threw a burger in a guy’s face. HAHAHAHAHAHAH. Love it. Kim is definitely ready for a man, but whoever it will be will be a family decision. Or she’ll end up with the first guy who doesn’t run or flinch whenever she twitches.
Camille is going with her bestie to buy a dress for the Tonys. By bestie I mean highest paid employee.
Remember that time I made you clean up dog poop and then you ate a fajita pita without washing your hands? God we have so much fun together. Now bang your head against the wall until I say stop.
Shopping for a dress is, predictably, super hard work for Shlemiel. Frasier was nominated for a Tony, so as far as Shlemiel is concerned, she was nominated too. Well, you both look ridiculous trying to look like pretty women so there’s that correlation. Otherwise? No. No Shlem no. When she sees one of her old besties, she squeals like a train trying to avoid hitting a toddler on the tracks.
Remember that time I put a bag over your head and made House Manager walk you around the Frasier set on a leash? We had so much fuuuuun togeeeeether!
You go to the stylist who was in charge of making Frasier look like a stuffy old prune on Frasier? Why? Girl, get some contacts. It’s a big town. There are people there that don’t work for Frasier in some capacity. Maybe you could call Niles and see if he knows someone. When this girl’s done styling you you’re gonna look like Fartin.
Last time she went to NY, she got told that she needed to go to therapy. Well, Kyle, here’s my therapy! I’m gonna spend tens of thousands of dollars I never did shit to earn! You go, girl!
Why would that dress want you to wear it without Frasier around?
Her paid besties ooh and ahhhh and tell her that the extra padding in the back for her IBS doesn’t look like a wet roll of paper towels at all.
Why would those diapers want you to wear them without Frasier around?
Shlemiel has been to tons of awards shows. No, not for herself. There isn’t an awards show for slutspaztic saline sack jiggling. Yet. She’s been with Frash though. One time he lost and got real mad. “It’s not fun being on the loser cam.” And yet here you are.
Loser cam
She takes the most expensive one, of course. The only shock here is that she doesn’t wear the price tag as a piece of jewelry.
You are going to look fantastic while you get dumped, and even better when Frasier’s limo races away and splashes your stupid ass with a mud puddle. Red and brown? Classic color combination.
It’s Paul and Adrienne’s eighth anniversary, so Paul’s having the chef cook them a fancy meal. Ad wanted to go out, but getting yelled at and berated in private is just so much more romantic than at a restaurant. There, the waiters misunderstand and call the police and stuff.
He tells us about meeting Ad for the first time and getting completely blown off. Not in the Shlemiel way. There was no oral. Ad just didn’t pay any attention to him. Which made him love her. Her utter annoyance has kept this marriage strong. Where can I find a man like this? “You’re mean and horrible. Will you marry me?” “God you’re an idiot. YES!” Watching them banter is super adorable and makes me believe in twisted love again.
Paul’s brought in a harpist. LOL. He also brought in some good wine that Ad needs to argue with him about. Bernie’s made fondue and tells Ad to forget the diet tonight. She doesn’t beat him cuz she’s on TV, but she doesn’t eat that melted cellulite, either. Tinkly clown music plays as Paul tells us that as the years go on, his marriage gets easier. Probably because his hearing gets worse.
He’s got a big surprise for her and makes her close her eyes. She just asks that he doesn’t lead her into a door frame. HAHAHAH. God I love this couple. One year, Paul bought her a purse in the shape of a champagne bottle, but he made it up to her by buying her a face shaped like a jack-o-lantern. AW!
He makes me crazy, but I love him. Without him, there would be no light behind my eyes and I would just look like a regular pumpkin.
Paul had trouble finding the richest woman he’s ever met something she’d like, so he got her a dog. Cuz that’s what rich guys do to show their love, according to this show. Buy employees. They don’t get hair on the couch and they come already knowing how to roll over. This is no regular dog either. That’s a police dog or some shit. Perfect dog for Ad, no? Paul had the dog flown in from Germany, which means it should listen to her about as well as her kids do.
Let’s make this real fun and go to Taylor’s house to see if we can make Kennedy break out in something or cry.
Taylor has bought some new patio furniture, so she lights some candles for a romantic wine and cheese session with Russell. He agrees to five minutes of this crap before he has to fly out to Scottsdale for some pussy meetings. He’s already complaining that the new outdoor couch looks too nice to be outside. HA. We can look at this two ways: 1. Russell knows how to ruin any moment ever invented or 2. Russell knows that his wife is lighting candles and feeding him, which means she either wants a bigger allowance or is about to bust his balls in some way. He didn’t just fall off the turnip truck.
Obviously, it’s 2. She wants to talk about the about to be dead dog situation. The dog is making Kennedy sick! Answer: Nuhuh. Well that was a good talk! He doesn’t wanna get rid of the dog and looks like he’s gonna stand his ground, but breaking the dog’s neck himself would be easier than watching what happens to Taylor’s face when she tries to cry, so he agrees.
OH GAWD fine we’ll kill it just stop making that face. You look like a skin suit from Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
Kim is super nervous for her date. She looks really pretty. I want that lobotomy facial! NO FAIR! She calls up Lisa to get some scoop on her date, and Lisa seems like she’s gonna flat out lie at first.
But then she remembers that she’s the good guy on this show and decides to be a little more truthful.
Lisa says that Fartin is age appropriate, but remember Lisa has been making jello for her husband since their second year of marriage, so her appropriate threshold is a little off. Kim knows that she’s gonna have to take what she can get at this point, and when she asks Lisa his name, she is refused so that she can’t Google him. LOL! I don’t care who you are, that’s a really bad sign.
The girls all start getting ready for the party. Kyle has a stylist help her. Still completely confounded as to how I don’t hate her yet. Taylor’s still mad about the dog, but she’s gonna just pretend she’s not and smile anyway, “cuz that’s what I do!” Oh poor put upon Taylor. It’s a dog. Count your blessings. It could be a job in retail, which is what it could turn into if you don’t shut your face. Just pretend the dog’s name is “Didn’tsignaprenup” and love it like it came out of your womb.
The party is for Lisa and is being thrown at her friend Mohammed’s house. This is gonna be rough. I don’t wanna make fun of him or West Hollywood will get bomb threats. Lisa says he’s way richer than her and his house is four times the size of her own. But does he have his own little Rod Stewart in twenty years to run around the estate dressed in outfits that match his little gay dogs’? No. You’re richer in hilarity so you win.
Mohammed is an old dude with a twenty five year old wife. Lisa is going out of her way to make the shlubby rich guy with a younger woman thing look fashionable so Kim can’t yell at her later.
Sweetie, is that formula on your breath? Let mummy mash up some nanners for you before the witch from Hansel and Gretel shows up to put you in the oven.
Lisa says that she felt pretty until she saw the fetus, and now she feels like she’s waddling behind her. HAHA. Lots of shots of the giant home and the diamonds people are wearing and stuff. It all looks so easy to have, doesn’t it? I think that if we all just change the way we think, we can be rich too. Just accentuate the positive and believe in yourself.
Someone’s been shopping! See? It’s not hard.
Taylor beelines straight to Lisa to find out the dirt on Old Fartin. Can he hold his own? Lisa says he won’t have to with Kim around and he’s….a funny guy. She doesn’t use rude adjectives cuz she’s a lady, so she calls Fartin over so the rude adjectives can fill Taylor’s head on their own. He’s psyched and slimy when he thinks Taylor’s his date and asks “can we change your name to Kim?” HAHAHAH. This guys’a class act all around. CAN’T. WAIT.
Kyle is the next to arrive, and she’s glad Shlemiel won’t be here to make up stuff she said. I’m not glad. Not glad at all. I’m leaving this dump. Kim is late, cuz she has to make an entrance. And make an entrance she does. Fran Drescher died her hair!
Mister Sheeeeffield! Hnghhnghnghnghngh
She’s dressed like a cougar, which means she thinks she’s being set up with a young stud or something. I can’t wait to see her face when she realizes that she’s gonna be a kitten tonight. Kim’s dress is a bit tacky and breasty for Lisa’s taste, but Fartin pretty much just dates prostitutes so he’s fine with it. Kim thinks he’s adorable! Awwwwweeeewwww!
The girls do their best to make them uncomfortable. Kyle comes up and introduces Fartin as her new brother in law. LOL. The only reason he’s not running yet is cuz he’s waiting for Mohammed to write his asking price for his model wife down on a napkin and pass it over.
The new rich person fad. Eating food that looks the same going is as it does coming out.
Kim disappears. Kyle worries that she left and says next time she’s fitting her with a leash and one of those cones you put on dogs’ necks so they can’t chew their butts. Kim was off with some other old dude who wanted “to have a chat” with her. It doesn’t matter what age you are. Dressing like a slut works. It’s why I have cutoff spandex shorts on right now. I have to run to Whole Foods soon and you never know if there’s gonna be a rich guy shopping for pasty dimpled sag butt. Wish me luck!
Fartin jokes that old dudes with French accents always steal his dates. He’s funny. And super creepy. They’ll probably get married. Kim jokes that now she feels torn. HAHA. Then she’s served this:
Dang! When you choose an old guy you have to get straight to the bachelorette party. Every minute is precious.
Kim liked a lot of the hot old guys, but Fartin’s funny. Plus, they both like peas! Thankfully, Leech is there to make a “two peas in a pod” joke. And he’s wearing a shirt unbuttoned to his belly with an ascot. He’s like a rich hanger on version of Larry from Three’s Company.
Kim goes to the loo and Martin walks her there. Frasier should have walked Cam to the bathroom on the first date. He might have stayed the hell away from her when he heard the Vietnam war echoing through the hall. Kim and Fartin like each other, and their friends toast to their happiness. AW!!! SO CUTE! Nice work, Lisa!
Mauricio and Kyle are all over each other, which makes Taylor feels like she’s married to boring homely guy for his money. I think that’s just because you’re married to a boring homely guy for his money.
Soon, Kim and Fartin are holding hands and everyone’s telling them they have so much chemistry. Fartin’s pretty good about it, but there’s a highhat hit when Kim turns to him and says “I married my first blind date.” HA.
Scary? Yes. But it will all be worth it when she takes me to Paris.
By the end of the night, Taylor looks sloshed and it’s time to go! Lisa says the evening was magical. Um, Lisa took her dog to the party. HAHAHAHAHAHAH. She hopes that Martin takes Kim home and bangs her like a dinner bell. Lisa likes fucking with her favorite toy, Leech, so she tells him that there’s a Turkish bath downstairs and he should get naked and enjoy himself and pretend he lives there. Leech is, well, Leech, so he DOES IT. Lisa takes everyone down to catch him and says she’s disappointed to find that under all that dynamite there’s only a two inch fuse. I love this show so hard. And don’t worry, sugar. He’s a bottom. He doesn’t need a big one. There’s still a chance he’ll get out of your house before he’s forty.
The next day, Kyle and Taylor get together so Kyle can listen to Taylor whine about the dog. Taylor told Kennedy that she has a good friend without little kids and a husband who would love to love something, and Kennedy suggested they send Daddy to her. HAHA. Kennedy? My favorite TV child. Taylor starts talking about how she was into her husband at first but wants to murder him now. She does it in that “you know how you feel when….” and she’s talking to the wrong person cuz Kyle’s got this at home.
No, I don’t know how you feel. I gotta get home thanks for lunch CYA!
Kyle asks if she’s friends with Russell, and Taylor says they’re just good business partners. Is Kyle friends with Mauricio? Duh. Listen, Taylor, if you wanna bitch about your man, do it with someone with a marriage as bad as yours. Like….well yours is the worst so never mind. Complain to Rosia. She’ll nod and smile and you’ll know not to take the WTF look on her face personally cuz she won’t know what you’re saying.
Kyle talks about how Mauricio always has her back and is her biggest fan, and Taylor doesn’t feel like she’s even worth having that. AW. Kyle tells her in the nicest way possible that her marriage sucks ass. It’s sad. Taylor deserves better. She’s an open wound. Covered in rubber. Why are we ending the show on this note? And I hate being the one to complain about this, but WHERE WAS CAMILLE?! ME WANT CAMIIIIIILE!
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I didn’t think it was possible for Taylor to be any more hideous – and then she cried!!! Yikes!!!
I am still reading Flipit but I love the Deidre Hall reference from Days of Our Lives. I forgot you love Days like I do.
Back to reading but I am sure the recap is great as always. Good job!
Can anyone out there with any plastic surgery experience please explain what the hell is going on with Taylor’s face? It is too strange for words. I’m not sure if she has cheek implants or just way too much filler. Her mouth is very wide, so with the lip fillers it looks freakish. It’s like I can’t stand looking at her but I can’t look away.
I missed the last half of this episode and thought, meh, probably didn’t miss much. But after reading this hilarious recap, I am looking forward to catch it when it comes back on.
What makes Ad and Paul’s relationship work is that he still feels like he has to chase her. Men love the chase, and she is independent(ly wealthy), has her own life and private interests, and doesn’t depend on him to sustain her happiness. Actually, sometimes she looks like she’d be happier without him. So, Paul has to keep romancing her, loving her up, to remind her why she keeps him around. Because, I tell ya, the minute she forgets, she’ll be calling in a replacement. There’s a cougar glint in the Maloof’s squinty eyes.
I was a little nervous that such a big dog was brought around young children. What was Paul thinking? Maybe I could understand if it lived with them since puppyhood, but to bring a full-grown death trap into the house with those unruly tykes is just asking for trouble. I had a German Shephard as a child and he loved our family and was great guard dog, but then one of the neighborhood kids yanked his tail and Sheba bit his hand almost clean through. Of course Sheba got a bad rap for that and my dad had to pay the medical bills but it was the kid’s fault. But as mom, knowing how children are, I wouldn’t get a dog that could seriously injure them. It’s too risky.
The black strapless dress that Camille tried on (and didn’t choose) was worn by Sophia Vergara on last week’s Modern Family. Guess who wore it better?
Martin was pretty hilarious in a sardonic kinda way, but he looked like a skeleton left out in the desert sun. I know Kim is lonely but I’d hoped she wasn’t desperate. Then I remembered who we were talking about.
Flip, you didn’t mention how in her interview after the date, she speaks so fondly of ‘Mohammed, I mean Martin.’ Ha! Guess we know who she was really interested in. Too bad the only Richards girl he might wanna bang is one of her daughters.
Why haven’t they mentioned anything about Kim’s date from a few episodes ago? Remember when Kim said she had a date? (maybe that was just a convo producers made them have so they can ease into the Kim: Thirsty for Love (And a Drank) storyline.)
ooh..I read somewhere that it was mentioned on the last WWHL that Leech used to date Lance Bass!! So..who got the sloppy seconds, Leech or Reichen?
Now, i’m confused, Flip, because you said Leech was a bottom. (which mean Reichen is a bottom, which i figured because Rodiney is def a top). But if Austin wanted to sleep with Reichen, wouldn’t that make Austin a…top? I don’t believe it! Sorry, wrong recap, i got carried away there but it just occurred to me because as much enticing booty wiggling as Austin likes to do..I figured he was serving peach.
Camille greeted Frasier’s stylist much more enthusiastically than she greeted Frasier upon her NY arrival. That marriage was doomed before she got on a plane. But hey, Fraz missed his kids and didn’t want any scandal to sour his Tony buzz so he had to keep her around for little while longer. Do you think we’ll see him give her the kiss off on camera? If we have to rely on Cam to give us her account then we’ll only get her version of the truth. “He verbally assaulted me. He asked me how could anyone possibly be interested in me when he’s not around? So, I took of my top.”
hey guys thanks for reading and commenting. i love reading these comments every week and laughing and laughing. sarc i think there is a reason that austin and reichen never did the deed. two bottoms don’t make a right, mkay?
HA-HA!
@Flipit,
You are totally wrong in assuming that Austin and Reichen are bottoms. I mean, the sheer amount of testosterone and virile, masculine power that th….
Yea, ok, sorry. I couldn’t even finish typing that with a straight face.
LOL!! Oh, Flipit, you are a dream recapper. You know, after watching a season of the A-list, I see a lot of fannies up for the asking, but not much in the way of tops.
I think 5 mins of Camille asshattery worked for me. Her “friends” squealing over her plastic ass in an assortment of dresses was all I needed. Besides, next week, we will see her playing the victim about Kyle with tennis Ho in attendance. Get out your tiny violins, folks…
Taylor’s face is hard to look at up close – damn you, HD! She is just depressing – turn your face into the “Dead Silence” movie poster for a humorless dork and he still treats you like shit.
I LOL watching that facial sequence with Kim and Kyle – her talking with that cone on her face just was funny. Well, they looked good – I wish Kim the best on dating “John Derek” (look it up on imdb – he looks like Bo Derek’s ex husband.) He skeeves me, but maybe he will be a fun way for Kim to get back into the dating pool.
Adrienne and Paul are funny as shit! The squabbling, affectionate disagreements… i like them. I liked his idea and would have to have been pulled off of the fondue, but that is just me. I would have opted for a puppy, but looks like he got a well trained dog.
I still love Lisa – I could do the Cedric for her…
Lisa is my favorite! What she did to her permanent house guest was horrible… and hilarious. Everything she says is funny.
Adrienne is so mean to her sweet, loving husband. I hope we get at least one display of warmth from her to him this season.
Seriously, how long do we have to watch Camille drag out this “Kyle verbally assaaaaauuulted meeeeeeee…”? I can’t handle another conversation watching her try to seduce Tennis Ho with her tired lies!
Regarding Taylor trying to rid herself of Snowball: I always thought the Maltese breed was hypoallergenic. Well, sure enough after some research I found out that the Maltese is one of a few breeds that are recommended for people with allergies. Sorry Taylor–put in another quarter and try again.
Hey sarcastire…I thought the same thing about the German Shepard. We had one when I was a kid. Such a great dog, but Brutus snapped at 2 of
My friends when they tried to give him a hug. We ended up having to give him away to some bachelor in San Francisco. He had fierce car sickness and puked in the car next to me when we were bringing him to his new owner. I loved that dog, though.
Something else off topic, but sort of related. I got laid off last week, and my first job interview is this week is for the Sacramento Kings. I have a shot at working for adrienne. Hehe
I fucking HATE Camille!
And, wonderful recap, as always, Flippy-poo!
about taylor’s husband–is he tom arnold? i just sayin’, i’ve never seen the two together, for that matter, ya barely see taylor and him together.
flipit, you and j-mo are the best.
Calm down…I read that Adriennes dog was already given back. Usually the German dogs are very well bred, well trained and used for police and military work. I think a dog from a shelter would be even better.
I have an embarrassing admission. I used to think that gay guys took turns at being top and bottom. *Blushes* I figured, well, they’re guys, so they must want to stick it into something. Naive, I know.
I’m no plastic surgery expert (and isn’t it well-named? They all look like plastic), but Taylor looks like she’s had a bad facelift and too much botox. When the facelifts are done incorrectly, they pull the skin back toward the ears instead of up and back. I think that’s why her mouth is so wide. It looks stretched to me.
Nice work in involving your daughter in a lie to get rid of the dog, Tay-Tay.
And this is while we need to the F back in F.A.Q.
Some guys are switches, Pixie, honey. And some are big old bottoms, who want more things stored in there than the Batcave. And some guys just pitch and will give you the stinkeye if you even suggest they might like to let you take a scenic tour up the old Hersey Highway. Hell, some guys don’t even like anything from the back 40 to be involved at all.
The truth is, in my experience, that most of us move as the spirit takes us and like to experience everything on the sexual buffet.
Hmmm. Buffet. Screw sex. Where are the wings?
Ahem. But, back on topic, for some reason TV loves the guys who have had more men inside them than an entire battalion of troop carriers.
Go figure.
sorry, I’m with pixilated, I honestly had no idea either! You learn something new everyday. Since I would never ask, I’m glad that was cleared up
BTW, my captcha code is sucy!!whoo hoo
@Sarcastire – I think the Frasier and Camille breakup will definitely happen on-camera. If you watch the interviews with Frasier across all the episodes it seems like he’s doing the post-breakup interview and they’ve just been using bits and pieces of it throughout the season so far. He’s really quiet and seems to be reflective on their past relationship rather than anything current…
Of course the dog Russell got was one that’s been approved for people with allergies! I’ve been siding more and more and more with Russell about anything that goes on between him and Taylor b/c she just gets more awful with every passing minute. When the ladies were in NY I really thought that Russ was pretty adorable with Kennedy, and while he may be distant towards his scary-looking wife (and really, can you blame him???), he absolutely seems to love his daughter very much. Taylor is really awful.
I thought Kim looked really good after her bizarre facial! Whatever they did, I want to try it! She really looked a good ten years younger, and without blowing her mouth up into some roadside attraction, as Taylor did. Good for her. I really hope Kim gets some action soon, and not with skanky Fartin.
@Pixie, all the girls I know have thought the same thing. But of course, I am not above asking my friends what the deal is. My bestie had a boyfriend for years and the bf was 10 yrs older but I couldn’t tell what their ‘roles’ were. They were both flamboyant, effeminate, and cunty. One day I had to ask my friend. Who pitches? Who catches? My friend told me that they like to switch it up. But of course he was quick to point out that is was ’70-30′, in his favor. I’m sure most guys in relationships like to keep things fresh by switching up roles but there are others who are certified ‘tops’ who love their ‘power bottoms’. I don’t see Leech ever being more than a taker. He uses people for whatever they can give, even if it’s a pulsating ‘member’. But if it pays the rent, or keeps a roof over one’s head, who’s to complain? Especially in this economy? He’s smart to ‘catch’ the richest member he can find. I think that’s why he was at Mohammed’s party that night. “Look at me in my undies! I’m hot enough to ‘keep’, aren’t I?”
@Msjacmills: After Sheba’s bad rep for biting a kid, we had to deal with her biting a man for trying to pet her puppies, then coming home to find that she ATE the puppy and left it’s head on our front lawn. The poor dog had snapped. My dad took her away, ‘to a better family’ but who knows? I didn’t get to ride in the car to her new home and possibly he took her to be euthanized. My innocent 9-yr old self though the best of my dad, but now..I’m not so sure.
Btw, good luck on your interview tomorrow. Let’s hope you get the gig and not have to deal with the Maloof’s douchy brothers. They get DUIs and act like all around assholes, but I’m sure it was their idea to buy a basketball team, or so says my brother who dished the dirt for me on the phone last night. I wish he watched this show but he’s only an RHOATL fan and is *still* claiming to be straight.
@JKW: why did Adrienne get rid of the dog? Was it because of her kids or because she didn’t want the responsibility of a pet? I’m sure the Bravo producers were bored with the thought of two unwanted dog storylines so they edited adrienne’s out. I’d love to know why that Sheppie was kicked out of a grand mansion and forced to do a transatlantic walk of shame.
@C/Chigago: Of course America loves it’s bottoms! They make great TV!
When I want to watch gays on the telly, I prefer the cunty ones with the wagging fingers and skanky attitudes. Other than that, if I want to see ‘Daddy’ tops, I’d go to the White Party and take drugs with them. Maybe I’ll even get to see Kim Zolciak performing “Tardy.” two birds..one rock hard stone.
OMG — did you see the ‘Jew-Dices’ have been featured in Parade Magazine?!
http://www.parade.com/news/2010/12/05-most-amazing-discoveries-of-2010.html?index=8
Teresa must be sooo proud…
@Sarcasataire Adrienne wrote about it on her Bravo blog-the dog is living with the trainer and is happy. Shepherds are usually good around kids but this one didn’t like the noise and all the commotion of their house. They are searching for another suitable family dog.
I was unaware that the way to find the perfect dog for your home was to do some research on the internet about breed and pedigree until you find the right fully grown animal to get flown to you from overseas. Being a dummy commoner, I always just went and looked at puppies playing together with my whole family and tried to pick out the one we all vibed with the best and the one whose personality we thought would be most fitting for whatever our situation was at the time. Must be blind luck that I’ve had great dogs (and cats) all my life.
I’m not ashamed to admit that I missed Camille’s presence this week. She sucks but she totally makes the show. Otherwise it would be pretty boring.
Also, from what I understand, some breeds are supposed to be hypoallergenic but it’s really dependent on the individual animal. You can’t be totally certain that you won’t react to any particular pet. I have a hypoallergenic cat that I am allergic to and I’ve never been allergic to any cats in my life! Dogs can produce several different kinds of allergy inducing substances. Maybe Kennedy is allergic to the saliva rather than the dander.
I don’t hate Russel, either way. He should be willing to get rid of the dog but the way Taylor goes about it it’s like she’s personally attacking him rather than objectively stating that the dog has to go b/c it’s affecting their daughter. He seems uncomfortable socially and probably in front of the cameras a little bit, too. But at least he seems to be trying a little bit. He asks the other guys with admirable relationships about how they make it work, too. And he does it without complaining about/blaming Taylor. They seem to talk to everyone about their marriage except each other, but it feels like she wouldn’t bother to take any advice she gets anyway since she’s already made up her mind to be helpless. At least I believe Russel will try to implement the others’ advice.
@Pixie: Some do. Some are versatile lol. It’s not always black and white.
@Sarcas: I can’t believe you said “Power Bottoms” LOL. The thing about taking turns is, like, you need to both be the same sizes. I don’t mean dick size. Like, my boyfriend is taller and very muscular, and I’m shorter and slim, so I think it would look weird, me “doing” him. I like sex to look good. I’m weird. lol
Taylor’s tears looked fake. Like the tubes they glue under your eyes, and it trickles water down your face? She probably can’t really cry anymore lol.
@ectobaby I also have had wonderful pets that were rescued from local shelters. We did as you and chose animals based on personality and temperament. My friend who bought an expensive “designer” dog ended up with a nervous, paranoid animal with multiple behavior problems.
@Matt, I like sex to look good too, so I guess we’re both weird! LOL
Laugh Out Loud Moment!! Gotta luv it!! HA HA
“b. didn’t look like the entire cast of Finding Nemo squashed into one face.”
I finally figured out what is going on with Kim’s mouth- does anyone else think that she has dentures or is just a serious under bite? Isn’t she young to have lost her teeth?
@Jeanine: Being normal sucks anyway lol!
The way Camille goes on, you’d assume she was married to George Clooney.
Honestly, when I think of Kelsey Grammer, Frasier isn’t even the first thing that comes to mind. It’s that you-tube video of him falling off the stage while giving a speech.
Love it.
Is it just girls who didn’t know this information about gay guys, I always assumed they would switch too.
@Jenn: Some do lol. Straight couples do too lol. Just doesn’t look as good.
@Matt: Lol..not only am I a girl, I’m a power bottom, too! Just ’cause I take shit lying down dosn’t mean I’ll take shit lying down, knowwhattamean?
@msjacqmills: Good luck on your job interview!
@sarcasatire, I really wish we could be friends outside of the virtual world, b/c all of things you post are usually things I’m already thinking! I go to NY pretty often, I’m originally from Long Island although now I’m a SoFla girl through and through. We definitely need to meet one day, you crack me up! We should send for Matt Lam in Canada and then it would really be a party!
@Sarcas: You are one, by default LOL (unless you get the proper gear lol). I’m bottom, but in no way a Power Bottom. Every time I hear that, I think of prolapsing orifices lol.
@Jeanine: Of course it would! I love partays! Oh btw, most people refer to me as “Matty”. You’re allowed to. Cause you’re cool. So is Sarcas btw. Or anyone else else here, for that matter. Just don’t pinch my cute bum. It hurts when people do that.
@Jeanine: We totally can! I’m gonna look you up on Facebook and send you a request. Same goes for you, Matty! Bottoms up!
(btw, I consider a ‘power bottom’ a bottom that isn’t completely submissive. One that can dominate the situation, as well. I know some think of it as a bottom that will take it every which way and will eventually ‘bottom out’ if they don’t take it easy. Prolapsing orafices and all that good stuff..lol)
@Sarcas: I’ll be waiting for your FR. I’ll totally accept it.
Well, MY bottom is NOT prolapsing. AT. ALL. Just wanted to make that clear. Probably an overshare, but who cares, right?
Neither is mine, and I pushed a whole person out of it. And no worries, nothing is TMI amongst fambly.
@Matty, I’m totally friend requesting you too. I love you and sarcas a lot and I really want to be able to dish with you guys outside of the gasm. Don’t get me wrong, I love the gasm but there are too many haters on here that make me feel uncomfortable saying some of the stuff I want to say b/c of all the bitches that immediately assume we’re trying to start shit with them.
@Angela I would love to friend you on FB too. Is that cool with you? I’m a native Long Island girl myself. I love being in South Florida now, but I never stopped calling myself a new yorker too!
@Jeanine: They better not pull that shit with me. I make bitches cry. Lol.
@Ectobaby:
I totally agree Russell is quite awkward at a party. As a power-player in business, though, he’s probably had to work around this social ineptness. (Maintaining, a stoic facade at all times rather than take the risk of looking foolish). I believe he wants so badly to be the alpha-male, that he would rather people see him as a giant ass, than see any weakness. He just never looks relaxed or at ease with himself.
He definitely came across as very “out of his element” during the big Mad Hatter extravaganza – I can’t blame him for that, of course! I would have been embarrassed with that entire thing, too. But, I’ve seen it a couple of times since then whenever he’s put in a group, too.
I always thought the real reason he made Taylor leave the hotel room in Vegas was because HE was uncomfortable. I’ll admit there’s no reason he had to make Taylor leave with at the same time. Other than after all the drinks she sucked down, she absolutely would have bad-mouthed him to anyone that would listen for the rest of the night.
Guess who got engaged!!!! Guess who’s getting evicted? Guess who’s mansion is going into foreclosure?!?!?
E! News announced the engagement of none other than Kelsey Grammer and his 29 yr-old gf, Kayte. (I hate that superfluous “Y” in her name, don’t you?)
Word on the street, Sheree is getting evicted! This lady sure doesn’t like to pay her bills, does she? I read a TMZ article a few weeks back that she owed a private eye $28,000 for work he did spying on her husband during divorce proceedings. That Sheree is sneak-ay! Trying to get the dirt on her hubby in hopes of raising the figures on her settlement. Guess it didn’t work because she couldn’t pay off her lawyers, either. Now, no car, and no house. Well, there’s that trademark of the name She by Sheree, so I guess she still..owns…something?
http://kissrichmond.com/features/entertainmentnews/bmorris/is-%E2%80%9Creal-housewives-of-atlanta%E2%80%9D-sheree-about-to-be-evicted-again/
The O.C.’s only unscathed couple is about to get, well, scathed! Pawn Preacher and his disciple, Alexis, are going into foreclosure. They are trying to dump their mansion for a little over $3 million, even thought they paid (read: mortgaged) $6 million for it. Hmm..I guess a pawn shop is only successful if someone comes along and buys the junk in the display windows. Other than that..it’s just a fancy storage shed. I’ve seen American Pickers, and some of those hillbilly farmers have more valuable things in their garage than PPreacher could ever sell. Oh well, let’s hope this, along with Vicki’s divorce, and Simon’s arrest are covered next season. Good times..
http://gawker.com/5708580/another-real-housewives-foreclosure
Um…I found the taylor vs hubby bout the dog discussion disturbing. The dog has to go. Who bought the dog without discussing it and blah blah blah is irrelevent.The kid is allergic to the dog, so the dog has to go.Why the hell is there any discussion at all? What is there to discuss? THE DOG IS MAKING CHILD SICK-THE DOG HAS TO GO! The kid will have deal with it and her sadness will not traumatize her.Why are they having a discussion about it at all? I mean,am I crazy? Is there any other option up for debate? Why cry and ponder anything? If dad is even insinuating that his ego is more important than kid’s health, you tell him he’s lost his mind, and the dog will be gone tomorrow.End of story. Correct? That was just impossible for me to wrap my mind around.