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Thursday, January 6, 2011
11:30 pm
54 Comments
Last time on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, well…not much happened. But we did learn that Camille could dance without being on someone’s lap, so there’s something.
Shouldn’t you be sitting for this?
Also, Camille was an incredible asshole.
Ur fat frnd lks lyk me b4 pelateez & doktrz
We open at Lisa’s. Leech is lounging by the pool, sipping on champers in a padded swimsuit. For those virgins out there, penises are not shaped like softballs in real life. Glad I could teach you something.
Lisa’s cutting roses, and Ken’s getting a little sun.
Ken’s in a mood cuz Leech took his Jeep out again and left the tank empty. He wants Lisa to talk to him and make him do some chores or something, but Lisa just kinda shrugs him off. It’s hard to take a man seriously when he’s matching the dog.
UGH he smells like peppermint and ass. JUST DROP ME.
Lisa and Ken have never ever had a fight unless it was about Leech. Well that’s just ridiculous. Who marries someone they can’t fight with? Those dishes aren’t gonna break themselves. When I was a wee bebeh my mom told me that she and daddy fought because they loved each other. My dad limps now. And it’s fucking ROMANTIC.
AW! Happy Anniversary!
Ken’s not giving this one up, but Lisa’s not either. When he asks for a kiss, she suggests he ask Leech to do it. Be careful what you ask for, girl.
Over in Malipoo, Camille poses for a completely impromptu unplanned scene. She’s calling someone, and…straight to voicemail. Poor Shlemiel. Does anyone ever pick up her calls? It wouldn’t matter if they did, cuz she doesn’t know how to use the phone too good anyway.
That wouldn’t have gone to voicemail if Frasier was here.
She’s inviting some girls over to play tennis. She’ll be rubbing her junk up against Tennis Ho before the first point. She’s quick to mention to Ad’s voicemail that she’s sorry Frasier can’t be there. I’m sure he is too, sugar. Adrienne’s vm hears that Frasier won’t be there and hangs up on poor Shlemiel.
Next call is to Kyle. You can tell cuz horror music is playing. She doesn’t hear Shlem at first, which is awesome cuz Camille has to figure out if this is another trick voicemail thing. Even in scenes she’s not in, I love Lisa.
My hzbnd or I will note be dng biz w u anymore ifone
Camille is visibly nervous talking to Kyle. Her hands are flapping all over the place and it’s really funny to watch. It kind of looks like her dancing, but with less vagina. The girls are all fakey bakey with each other. Kyle says that they still haven’t discussed if Mauricio is cut off from the Frasier trillions, so she’s skeptical of this truce. Camille is skerd, but she’s the kind of girl who likes to just move on and accept apologies. Um….no one apologized to you and how is it moving on after we’ve suffered through TEN WEEKS OF THIS?!?!? Wait. I need to stop trying to justify what comes out of this ho’s mouth or we’ll be here til next week. She’s a an endless fount of poo in every way. From now on let’s see what it will be like to take her at her word. It’s actually a really refreshing way to look at it.
I heard what you said about me at the airport, and so did my husband, Jesus. He will NOT be leaving a sack of grain at your grass shack. Stupid skank.
Kyle immediately calls Kim to ask her what she thinks of Camille’s invite. Kim’s face says it all.
I hate moisturizer and shots in my face, that’s what I think.
She doesn’t understand why Kyle would even put herself in that position. Cuz you’re on a TV show, dumdum. Kyle assures her that it will all be different with Mauricio and the kids there. I’d make Portia taste all the food before you eat it. Take one for the team, brat! Kim refuses to pretend this is a good idea, so Kyle changes the subject and brings up the white party they’re gonna throw. Oh lord I can’t believe she just admitted to having a white party on national TV. I’m from the south, and if I’m invited to a white party it’s usually cuz I’m Lebaneze and they need a pinata.
Hit him hard enough and candy will fall out!
It’s Pandora’s birthday, so Lisa and the family gather for a dinner party. I hope tonight’s the night that Pandy’s old enough to get that fucking poof burnt off.
Kyle shows up, thank God, cuz it wouldn’t be a proper dinner party without someone asking Leech whether he shaves his wee nutz. He claims he doesn’t, he’s just never grown hair down there. He’s officially the luckiest queen ever born. Or a liar. (suspicious foreshadowing music in my head.)
Pandy’s boyfriend makes a toast and says he wants to spend the rest of his life with her, but he doesn’t propose. HAHAH. Pandora doesn’t mind, cuz he does this every year and it irritates her parents so it’s fun for her. Do Lisa and Ken get irritated with hair poofs? Cuz I need a reason that that thing is always on the top of your goddamn head. Mid proposal, Leech looks kind of annoyed. I think he wants to bang boyfriend.
Did you not hear me just say I have naturally hairless nutz?
Late in the evening, Kyle decides to pry into Leech’s brain and ask about his troubled childhood. Let me guess. A mean uncle burnt off your ball hair and sewed doll locks onto your skull. Damn. I hate when I’m wrong.
He was born in Paris to a hooker mom. He was homeless and beat by his mom’s boyfriends. Then they were homeless and he would have to sleep next to mom on the street while she got raped by homeless people. She left him by a phone booth and never came back. Then he was taken in by this dude named Fagin and forced to be a child criminal and beg for gruel. He made the line “Please sir, can I have some more?” famous and…wait a second. That’s the plot to Oliver Twist. Kyle’s not buying it either.
Let’s check in with Taylor. Biggest sucker of the year! Look who’s still alive!
Oh sorry wrong pic. I meant
Snowball escaped lethal injection! They’re probably saving that for the finale. Kennedy isn’t allowed to touch the dog so she won’t get an allergic reaction. When she gets weak and wants to cuddle, Taylor shows her how swollen and scary she will look if she even tries it.
Don’t let this happen to you. Just wave at the damn thing and go to school.
As Taylor ruminates on her loveless marriage, we watch the family have breakfast. Russ only speaks to the kid and Taylor stares all dewy eyed off into the distance. We know what’s going on her mind, but Russell has no idea. He probably just thinks she changed her meds again.
Whoever is right or wrong, lovelessness is sad. Ah well, it’s a nice kitchen so YAY! It’s not like you married the guy for his charm. You committed to granite countertops and you got em. Congrats! Maybe she’s having regrets after seeing how large some of the other ladies are living. Her mail box is almost as big as her house.
Kyle and Mauri arrive at Camille’s in a rented limo with the kids. A word of advice, buy the limo. Rent the kids. It works out to be about even and limos don’t poop on you. Cam is fake and nervous, and Kyle is just calmly keeping the fork in her pocket ready to stab a ho if need be.
Adrienne and Paul show up too, but that’s it for cast members. The rest are paid hangers on. Tennis Ho shows up with a wig and kisses Cam on her lips. EW. Kyle says if her husband lip kissed Cam he’d be dead. The wife doesn’t seem to mind though. You can practically hear the calculator in her head whirring.
I’m charging her for that.
Kyle scowls when Mauri kisses Cam’s cheek. LOL. She says that he’s easier going than she is, and he agrees. He likes Camille and all the Frasier cash she doles out, the end. Kind of a pussy, but he works out and buys Kyle whatever she wants. I think that deserves a pass.
I know that some of you are upset at his not standing up for his woman to Camille, and I can see where you’re coming from. But to me, he knows after watching Kyle and her sister interact that bitches be crazy no matter what you do and that’s no good reason to lose a giant part of your income. He’ll punish Camille by feeding his happy family with her sad marriage money. There’s really no better revenge.
OOoooh! AAaaah! You’re adooorable! Thank you for coooooming! Frasierfrashieeeeeee! YAY TEEEENNNIIIIISS! AGH. This woman talks like a car alarm with a low baaaatteerrrryyyyyyy. Adrienne tells us how nice it is to see the girls getting along and she hopes it can always be like this. I sure as shit don’t.
Over a lunch prepared by the ginger version of Mister Belvedere, Ad complains about Paul’s snoring to everyone. He just got his nose re-broken by one of the kids. LOLOLOLLL. Ad thinks it’s hilarious, too. You see? THAT’S marriage. She just wants Paul to turn over on his stomach, shove his double broken nose into the pillow and STFU. Those two? Are gonna last.
Camille says it’s super nice to have Frasier away cuz he snores, too, and it makes it hard for Tennis Ho to sleep in their bed. Then she brags about her “real crystals!” on the muffin platter and talks about going to the Tonys. Kyle, who’s been quiet and pissed the whole time, tells Ad that the play was good but she should be glad she missed the NY trip. Oh lord here we go. I say that in a “God bless her” tone, though, cuz I was just about to press stop and pick my toenails for awhile.
No one is glad that Kyle is reigniting the drama flame except me. She says that she and Cam are different, and they’re learning to “speak each other’s language.” Kyle speaks abrasively and too truthfully, and Camille speaks in bikini. For example, when she says “come in the pool, Kyle!”, she means
Get right next to me so your husband can see your flabby baby making womb next to my saline jugs and flat stomach before I sit on his face. Did you have a cupcake?
None of the women brought bathing suits, so guess what Cam chalks it up to? The economy. Kidding! Jealousy! Kyle knows that Cam is being a show off slut, but what can ya do? Her money bought Kyle the large dark expensive sunglasses she’s hiding her death stare behind. She jumps in the pool fully clothed like a good sport. Paul pushes in Ad, too, and everyone’s laughing and laughing as I press FF.
Now it’s time for another party! GOD. You know what would be kind of awesome? A show that really was about real housewives. You’re up at six for a job you hate, your kids are doing drugs and masturbating constantly, you’re fat and you don’t know why, you cry in elevators and pray for an early death. Ew. Poorness is gross. Well, I guess I just ruined my own idea. Sorry. Back to the white party. I think Camille is invited, cuz it seems like Kyle has brought in a special “fuck your crystal cupcakes and your bikini” just for her.
This is also gonna be Mauri’s 40th bday party. Poor husbands always get the shaft. My sister married her man on his birthday to save on gifts. Not. Kidding. Guests start showing up, ooh and ahh at each other, and jokingly ask where the black people are. Taylor’s excited about the dancing, cuz there’s nothing funnier than white people dancing at a party. As Lisa enters, she says “there’s a guest house, Cedric, so don’t get excited!” HAHAHAHAHAH.
Lisa’s told Old Fartin to come, and Kim’s kinda mortified cuz he never called her. The man should call the woman!! In a perfect world, yes. But in real life, you follow them and leave them threatening messages on their car until they’re scared enough to marry you. For example, right now I’m “dating” a checkout guy at Whole Foods and couldn’t be happier. When he woke up to the smell of gasoline in his house this morning he started sobbing uncontrollably and screaming WHYYYYYY?!?!? as I stood outside his window and air hugged him. I think this one’s the one, you guys.
Ken’s chatting with the girls about how Leech probably let the dog out on purpose one time. HA. Love him. Now let’s watch Taylor unhinge her jaw and eat a hamburger!
There is a slideshow of all of Mauri and Kyle’s memories playing on a big screen, and watching it makes Taylor sad. She tries to come on to Russell by eating a fry, but he winces and throws up a little bit of hamburger.
Maybe just…buy him a card or something. Yikes.
They are bored as hell with each other, which Kyle takes notice of. Taylor says that she doesn’t know what’s going on lately…oh come on. Was he EVER exciting? I’d bet no. You married a boring guy and now that you have a little extra Bravo money coming in you’re trying to find an excuse to dump his ass. Don’t feel guilty about it. It’s the Housewives way. NeNe did the same thing a couple weeks ago over on Atlanta. She was just more fun about it. Ugh. I wish this was a black party.
You done me WRONG, GRAYG!
Lisa tells us that she doesn’t like to play matchmaker, but Kim’s a desperate needy twitchy situation so she’ll do her best. Enter Old Fartin! He’s in the same gay hooker shirt that Leech is wearing. His boobs are way bigger though, so point for Fartin.
Yes, I grow hair on my nuts. And my back. And my butt crack. And my ears. And my….
Things are awkward. He asks her if she wants a drink. She declines. They laugh uncomfortably and he just kinda wanders off. HA. I hope they go on a double date with Russell and Taylor at some point.
Camille shows up a couple hours into the party and Lisa congratulates her on Frasier’s Tony nom. “Thaaank yoooou!” I’m gonna start saying thank you to random stuff I had nothing to do with, too. Next time someone says it’s a beautiful day outside, I’m gonna say “Thaaaank yoooou!” Loved Natalie Portman in Black Swan. “Thaaaaank yoooooou!”
She tells Lisa that Frashe has cut back their communication to almost nothing. They used to talk like ten times a day and she misses the sound of his voice saying “please stop fucking calling me. I don’t wanna have to change my cell number again.” Well we know where this is going cuz a commercial just came on and told us, but we’ll get to that next week.
Camille has brought Kyle a gift. A book called “How to Behave and Why”. LOL! Camille did something funny! I’ll bet Hair Friend came up with that one. Kyle doesn’t know whether or not Cam is trying to be hilarious cuz she’s never seen a sense of humor there before. Nevertheless, “she’s obviously never read this book.” HAHAHAHA!!!!
Time to get back to the Taylor storyline. I think Jiggy speaks for us all when he says
The band is playing a bday song for Mauri to dance romantically with Kyle to. (y)AWWWW(n). Taylor gets all teary, and it’s impressive to see that she still has working tear ducts. I half expected her tears to confusedly run up her face cuz they didn’t know where the fuck they were even supposed to go any more. She says that it’s amazing to see such a great couple who’ve found such a strong love. Then she looks over at Russell. He’s found the love of his life, too.
It may backfire on you sometimes, too, but it doesn’t take half your money on its way down the drain.
Camille hasn’t found an old guy to give her dollar bills, so her ass is outta there. She and Kyle say fakey goodbyes and cheek kiss and stuff and Cam apologizes for having IBS and bronchitis. Well thanks for swinging by and kissing everyone. It’s bs, but Kyle doesn’t care. As she gets into her car, Camille says goodbye in lots of languages. Kyle only needs one to say “don’t let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya, ho!”, but she doesn’t say that at all. This is called progress to some. And extremely disappointing television to others. Push her! Choke her with a Fatburger! Ask for Frasier’s number! ANYTHING! Oh wait. No go back to that. I’m sorry I complained. Sorry, Jiggy!
Back to Taylor. She gets Lisa alone and asks about her marriage. She only knew Ken for six weeks and thought, well, he’s got about six months on him and a lot of cash so let’s get married! It turned into almost thirty years and lots of clogged drains and mystery smells. Personally, I find that story disgusting, but Taylor is touched. Then she watches all the couples dancing and loving each other and gives sad face. Well she’s going for sad face. It’s more “OMG that silly putty is looking at me” face, but e for effort.
If you press that flat down on the newspaper you can read the comics backwards.
Russ, predictably, wants to go home. Taylor, predictably, is upset about it. Flashback to him being a wet blanket a million times. You know what? He probably thought he was doing something good for Taylor when he said “yeah, going on TV will be fun for you honey” and is being a good sport by going along with any of this even though he’s shy. Now he’s gonna end up alone with a huge alimony bill. Thanks, Bravo!
Super dramatic music plays and Taylor tells him he can go home by himself. You guys, I can’t be the only one kinda feeling for Russell right now. She’s crying, but how do you think he feels? Look at him all lost and confused, like he has no idea what he did wrong. I kinda have the feeling that he’s just, well, Russell. Shlubby smart confused Russell. I just wanna hug him, tell him he’s great the way that he is, and then ask to borrow money for a downpayment on a ticket out of this dump. So he’s a little introverted. He puts up with her and she could erase an entire crossword puzzle with her face.
AW! I’ll share your money life with you! And you don’t even have to talk! Actually you’ve already said too much. Shhhh. God I hate the sound of your breathing. Get out of our house and take fucking Snowball with you before I turn it into lunch meat for the maid. HATE YOU.
Taylor cries and tells us how alone she feels. Oh shut up already. I’ve got about as much feeling for Taylor right now as she’s got in her forehead. And I like her! I just can’t listen to someone who married and ATM bitch about how unflattering that tiny round mirror camera is.
Kyle can, though! As she changes Portia’s diaper, she tells Taylor that Russ seems too serious and her husband works hard too but he’s not a Debbie Downer about it. Feel better now, Taylor? Kyle’s husband is rich AND fun. Better? OK now imagine Mauri shirtless and then Russell shirtless. Feel better? NO, KYLE. NO ONE FEELS BETTER.
Taylor says she’s gonna stay and have fun, but ends up just leaving. She can’t imagine Russell going to bed alone when it’s still not too late in the evening to call Scottsdale. As friends have a blast at the party, Taylor stands alone at the valet and pouts that she wishes her husband would celebrate life with her.
AW. OK now I kind of feel for her. No one deserves a life without love. Except Hitler. And Girl Scouts. And Whole Foods checkout guys who file restraining orders and get police protection when you were just trying to flatter them a little. I’m getting depressing. Hey Taylor, I’ve got something we can celebrate!
Feel better?
Next week, Camille gets dumped on the phone! May I have a what what?
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54 Comments
Can’t believe how fast you got this out Flipit — you are so awesome even with/without a restraining order! My favorite line of the show: Ad telling how Paul got “buttheaded” by their kid again! We all know he’s a butthead but shouldn’t it be head-butted or am I just dyslexic challenged…hmmm… anyway their 4 yr old kicks butthead ass!
Wow! Was not expecting this so fast! Great work! I was really hoping you would include a shirtless Mauricio shot. You never disappoint. Camille is so passive aggressive bringing Kyle that book. Please, we all know who really needs it!
I knew it! Now I have proof that there is a United Lebanese Front Against Camille (ULFAC). I bet Nads is in on it, too. It’s people and organizations like you that are portraying Camille negatively in the media, and they reason why she has to leave her own show. I hope you can sleep at night.
I think they were trying to put Camille in a better light this episode so she gets some sympathy for the big break up. All of a sudden she’s now saying that she misheard Kyle in NY? Whatever, either the fight or the make up is a bunch of BS.
And also, I HATE it when people say thank you to things like how cute their husband is or whatever. It had nothing to do with YOU! When people tell me I have pretty eyes, I just say I know. bwaahaahaa. But seriously, I didn’t make them. If you want a thank you, tell my parents that. Or something.
Anyhoozle…..ON WITH THE BREAKUP!! YAY!!
Boy that Nick is due for a big fat raise!! Camielle=fake, fake and some more fake. Big tear for Cedric.. Not! I didn’t believe a word of his story except for the part when he said he had a mother. Who wants to bet there’s going to be a novel coming out soon? Hey Taylor, when you marry for money that’s what you get. Boo freaking who. Love ya Flipidoodles! Great recap as always!
I want to punch Camille in the face. She thinks that she is self depricatiing but saying something stuck up and snobby and then doing that little side chuckle does not make you self depricating. It just makes you a stuck up cunt. Her whole demonor is just so studied and fake. Whenever she talks she comes across like a bad porn actress. I hate that little fake laugh she uses to punctuate statements that she thinks sounds self depricating.
OK, I’m gonna say it. Camille looks really good when she dresses casually. I love her pretty shirts with the skinny jeans. Other than that, I’ve got nothing.
Poor Taylor. She married a dud, and now she’s stuck with a dud. But she doesn’t really help matters either. There are times when Russel attempts to be social, and no one musters the energy to converse with him. Including Taylor.
While Cedric’s story is questionable, what was with Kyle asking him about it at dinner in that baby voice? Now we know where Paris gets that. Yuck.
Pandora’s boyfriend is gorgeous.
Snowball’s still around I see.
Just last night I said to my husband that Kesley probably convinced Camille to go on the show so the whole world could see what a head case she is and then he could dump her w/o looking tremendouce. Today, this…http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/01/07/camille-grammer-husband-kelsey-made-me-do-real-housewives_n_805665.html
Oh, and “The Morally Corrupt Camille Donatacci” has a soft porn past…http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/01/06/camille-grammers-porn-pas_n_805342.html
She is getting everything she deserves.
Great recap! I love this show. Ok, I read an article that made me think of Camille in a different light. She’s still a shit show (literally) but at least she wasn’t a gold digger like Taylor.
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/6162892/kelsey_grammer_was_broke_before_he.html
I also think Mauricio was completely right in his actions with Camille. Most men don’t get involved in the petty drama of women. I have a group of friends that were all having babies around the same time. The showers were getting crazy and some of us were bitchin (what me?). Anyway, my husband logically stated that if you sign up for it and don’t set a budget – deal with it. So true, there is still hurt feelings years later.
I also loved how Kyle didn’t believe Cedric. I think I would have believed him. I would assume Ken and Lisa with all their money would have done a check on him.
Oh @sassy girl that explains why Camille talks and acts like she is in a bad porn. I am with you on the thought that Kelesy told her to do the show, so that she couldnt paint Kelesy as a total asshole.
Great recap on a pretty boring epi Flipit! Yes I actually watched this one, well a few times cause I was reading New Moon again…. anyways… Did anyone notice that Ad said the phrase “headbutt” wrong. That is how is nose was broken this time, their sun headbutted him!! I am thinking yeah right, he did something stupid and she punched him or something!
I love Lisa, and I have only watched the last 2 epis. I see that they have made all their money and not “married” into it like these other bitches..I can’t wait for next week, I want to see Cam get what’s coming to her.
I do have a question though. Cam is going to NY next epi, how many times have these ladies gone to NY? I know the timelines on all these showes are effed up, but, oh idk, seems like everything is messed up, and again I have only watched a few here…Great Job again Flippy
@Bridget, well played. That’s exactly what she is, a cunt. And while on the supject, why do so many people hate this word when it perfectly exemplifies some people? What else would we call Camille? And it was super passive-aggressive to gift that book to Kyle. No it’s not exhibiting a sense of humor because that would mean the gift & Camille were funny… My favorite quote was Camille talking about how she’s been burning the candle at both ends. I really wish that Bravo would address exactly what candle she’s talking about!! Alas, it will be sooooo boring if she leaves the show.
I love silly putty.
Kyle you are a sneaky B**** . You give Camille a Fatburger with
everything on it LOL I’m sure that’s a IBS sufferer worst nightmare
to eat.
I felt sorry for Camilles driver ,it must have been difficult driving on PCH with that poo smell, maybe it was Kyle’s plan for the driver to pass out and drive off a cliff . Genius Watch your back Camille or should I say ass.
@smellymutts I don’t know how old you are but asking what is so wrong with calling a woman a cunt is like asking what is so wrong with calling a black person the N-word. Who raised you?
Although I agree it is the perfect word for her AND her name starts w/ a C. So hard not to call her Cuntmille.
@smellymutts I don’t know how old you are but asking what is so wrong with calling a woman a cunt is like asking what is so wrong with calling a black person the N-word. Who raised you?
That statement is wrong on so many levels…
@ robinez What levels? For real are you offended by me or smellymutts, and please educate me, I was offended by the C-word and have tried to avoid that when referring to Camille. What’s the problem?
Flipit, I don’t know if it’s the pregancy hormones or the lack of sleep from having a 6 month old and being pregnant again but I LOVE YOU and you could stalk me anytime, as long as you were being your normal snarky self! I watched this episode and all I kept thinking was try not to fall asleep and you know that Flipit will make it all better with a funny recap. Much love from a real pregnant housewife (the poor kind
)
@emilyhartly, “@ robinez What levels? For real are you offended by me or smellymutts, and please educate me, I was offended by the C-word and have tried to avoid that when referring to Camille. What’s the problem?”
Hi Emily, Sorry if I didn’t make myself clear. I wasn’t responding to smelymutts. I was responding to your comment to her.
In my opinion, comparing a word that is Never OK and has a history of pain and anguish with a word that is sometimes used to describe a “Camille” is still wrong on so many levels. It isn’t the same. It will never be the same. Not comparative by any means.
Yay! Another speedy recap! Flipit, you’re awesome! We love you! You know this! On to reading!
Incidentally, the captcha is WCRY. We Cry? For Shlemiel? Nevah!
@robinez I am sincerely sorry. I know we all bring different things to the table. I want to keep these threads upbeat. I’m sorry you misunderstood me. As a woman , the C word is extremely offensive, I chose a very poor choice of words to use as an example of how awful that word is in my book. I beleive it is almost that offensive and for someone to say”what’s the big deal w/ the Cword” I just didn’t know what to equate it with? I truely am sorry that I offended you as I did make a joke out of it at the end of my commentsso@smellymutts didn’t feel the way I do know. Bad. Please tell me my penance I don’t want to upset you or anyone else. This is RHOBH thread keep it fun.
Dear Emily, You didn’t offend me at all. We just had a misunderstanding and we discussed it. All is good as far as I am concerned and I hope the same on your end. Now, as far as the C word is concerned..we probably will disagree about that and it is OK too.
I think that Camille is a C word. She didn’t get a good edit, she says. Kissing a man on the mouth*, spending time with a married man on tennis, motorcycle “dates” .. well if it walks like a C and talks like a C.. I know it is a vile word if used improperly..but if the Loubouton fits..
Take Care, Robin
*In one of the first episodes Camille also kissed Paul on the lips at the pool.
Dear Robinez, thank you. I actually couldn’t sleep thinking about this so I appreciate the thoughtful response. All is good as far as I’m concerned as well. “if the Loubouton fits..” so true.
case closed, and if you’re ever near Chicago I’ll buy you a.. whatever you like drinkwise.
Dear Emily, Nobody here is worth losing sleep over. Sleep tight. Robin
Hi Robin! Nice to see you here.
I don’t watch the show, but I love Flipcaps!
The White Party isn’t seem with good eyes down here either even if it’s Puffy Pitty Doody Daddy throwing it! LOL
Emily and Robinez….way to keep things classy and civil. I remember a time when that conversation wod have been spun into a 100+ comments of A-hole proportions. I bow to your maturity.
Flipit…that guy should be stalking you…what’s wrong with that fool!?
I thought the White Party looked fabulous!! Adrienne and Lisa’s dresses were stunning! I wish I could have gone! Haha!
Taylor needs to focus on her own marriage and get back in therapy like Camille needs to. Taylor has lower self-esteem than Camille if you can imagine. But I think there is hope for Taylor, not so for Camille.
I can’t believe the Grammer split up is really going to play out on camera. I’m not complaining, but it seems like they’d insist on NOT filming when Kelsey comes back to talk. Who knows what we will actually see, but this is fascinating. I think Camille is probably hurt and humiliated to be so publicly exposed like this. And to find out at the end that all of America is rooting for the Stewardess. That’s gotta sting.
My captcha was “RHTH” – Real Housewive’s True Hell?
@Thatswhatshesaid That’s probably part of the reason why she doesn’t want to film season 2. Although she’d never admit it. I imagine she’s humiliated over how she’s been portrayed the entire time. Which is totally YOUR fault, NOT Bravo’s ya’ bitch….yeah I’m looking at you, Schlemiel! But wait, that’s Kelsey’s fault for making her do the show. He must have known they’d make her look like a fool. I’m sure he hired those 4 nannies to make her look bad, too. He probably gave her the IBS, or Bravo did. Let’s sue them ALL!
She’s really a sweet person. With a Jesus complex. Who likes to kiss other women’s husbands on the lips. And use her ‘friends’ like personal servants. EVERYBODY’S JEALOUS OF HER!
Oh, Schlemiel, get thee to a shrink. Fast!
I thought the white party looked fun and Fatburgers=yum. Great idea! But I have to admit that the entire time they were showing the party, I was thinking, “I hope she invited her neighbors because otherwise they are going to hate her!” Mauri and Kyle don’t live in a mansion, they live in a neighborhood. And with the valet parking and cars all over and noise and people standing in the street etc… That would cause some serious ill feelings from those who couldn’t sleep, park, drive on the street, etc.
Thanks for making a funny recap out of a snoozer of an episode. Can’t we have psycho pseudo psychics on every episode so that we can be filled with loathing? Hate gives us so much more to talk about than yawns.
Great recap, Flipit! I especially loved the Mr. Belvedere and Oliver Twist references..I was so thinking the same thing! Then again, I used to have a crush on Brice Beckham and dreamed of a walk-on role on Mr. Belvedere which would lead to us making out behind the couch. *sigh* Unrequited love is the most beautiful..
Anyway..so much to say, so little time. First off, I find it a bit hard to feel sorry for Taylor. When she set her sights on Russell and ‘chased him for months’, it wasn’t because of any kind of chemistry or attraction, she chased the idea of the lifestyle (and security) he could provide. And he “ran” because he’s just not that into her. Then, I presume he realized that having some semblance of a family life would make him more credible to his colleagues and such. When an attractive man is a bachelor, we figure it’s by choice. When an awkward nerd is one, we figure he has no prospects.
So, Taylor and Russell entered into a lukewarm marriage, one where he didn’t even dance at their wedding. It was fine for social climber Taylor at first; buying clothes, and meeting people. But after you’ve surrounded yourself with people as rich, if not richer than you, then another scale of success comes into play. How happy and fulfilled one might be. Suddenly Taylor realizes that a closet full of clothes just can’t hug you back. She traded financial security for love and romance, and she can’t make Russell romantic now if he never had to be before yet she rushed to the altar with him anyway.
The saddest part of all of this, is Taylor still thinks he’s a big enough catch to replace her with a 20-yr old hottie!
Taylor’s idealizing Kyle’s marriage a bit too much. Sure, Kyle and her husband are very affectionate in public. But we don’t really know what goes on behind closed doors. A 41 year old, mother of four, wants another child?? Instead of raising her younger daughters and hoping to still be young and healthy enough when they are adults to enjoy some alone time with her husband. Or maybe she wants to be in her 60′s with children in college..that way, she and her husband are never on their own, but paying for tuition with their social security checks. (it feel great to be needed)
Plus, did anyone catch Mauricio leering at the hairdresser? “he loves his women….”
Cedric’s story seems a little farfecthed…but I did live in South America and have seen abandoned children sleeping on the streets and I did know a few (legal) prostitutes, really cool girls save their chosen profession. I guess it isn’t too farfetched if one considers he was born in povery, raised in foster care, and the only thing that really saved him, is his dashing good looks. Lisa didn’t pluck him out of foster care, she hired him to be the pretty faced doorman at her gay club. Even she worked his beauty and youth to her advantage, not unlike the homeless men he once shared a blanket with. Of course, they developed a fondness for him when they realized he had no family and probably took him in. I do think that he considers them family now, which is why he’s so comfortable. But as her own children are out of the house, of course Ken and Lisa, would want ‘their oldest’ to move on, as well.
Anyway, if he is lying…I hope we get to see it unfold. Next week isn’t the season finale, is it? Do we only get one episode to watch Camille’s marriage crumble? No fair!
A juicy bit of info I discovered that may be the reason Russell is so reluctant around the cameras. Because homeboy is a criminal!! A sneaky, shady, shark. There is a website full info on him from his bankruptcy to his indictments for fraud. I saved you all time and waded through the court documents and it turns out he was part of a huge scam that lured investors into doling out huge amounts for fictitious companies/hedge funds, then Russell and a few other co-conspirators, split the money and spent it themselves, burning bridges all the way.
Fun fact…guess who was named as his co-defendant in this scam? None other than Mohammed Hadid! Yes, a tangled web, indeed.
(Then again, you don’t get to Mohammed’s wealth and status without screwing a few people over in the process.)
http://russellarmstrongfacts.com/
I love Kim in a ponytail! I also love how she brushed martin off. He didn’t call her, he’s not really interested, so why play games. Say a cordial hello, but no need to force small talk just because we’re at the same party. I respect Kimmie for that. A camera whore or more desperate individual (I’m looking at you, Camille) would’ve milked the scene for all it’s worth.
Camille was not completely detestable this week! I almost feel bad for all the schadenfreude I had at her expense.
I find Russell being any different than he is on the show difficult to imagine. Taylor married him, and now she wants him to be Mauricio. It’s unfair for her to expect him to change who he is, though he could try a little harder and admittedly, he is a total dick sometimes. I don’t understand how a married couple can have such problems addressing their dissatisfactions within their relationship. Almost any short-term relationship I’ve been in I’ve been more communicative than Taylor. Just sit the guy down and say you’re feeling unhappy. Is it really that hard?
re: Russell’s criminal history. Did it say what felony he was convicted of? I missed that part. He didn’t go to prison…I wonder what it was. As far as I could tell though, the other two claims against him were just that, claims. I couldn’t see that they were granted. I obviously didn’t read through the whole document though. I can’t really understand legalese too well anyhow. He’s a venture capitalist, so a bankruptcy is not too out there. Investors on his level have big wins and big losses. He’s obviously back on his feet now, though whether he is financially strong enough to support Taylor’s insane spending habits is seriously questionable.
They live down the street from my parents, which means I live down the street from them now b/c I’m a recent college grad and my life sucks, but I digress. I wasn’t exactly sure but that screen shot with their mailbox confirms my suspicions, definitely their house. It’s in Bel Air, where all the houses are over a million dollars, but it’s not all mansions and estates like some people would think. The houses around here go for around the low $1 million + to low $2mil+. The part that people think about as being really expensive is around and on the other side of the country club and that’s not where Taylor lives. Or Kyle for that matter. It’s probably where Mohamed’s house is though.
Their house is new and it’s upgraded but it’s still quite modest, especially when compared to some of the other ladies and I would be surprised if Russell isn’t worrying about $ all the time when Taylor throws $60k parties and buys designer clothes and probably sends her kid to a really expensive private school, since that’s how she met Adrienne. How can he relax and enjoy himself when he’s trying to come up with the $ to fund Taylor’s ridiculous lifestyle?
The Federal case on the site has on it’s first page Russell’s guilty plea (to a lesser charge, I’m sure) and his sentence of 5 years probation, 150 hrs of community service, and full disclosure of personal and business financial records to probation officer. This was his first offense, back in 1997.
Not sure the status of the other case…but considereing just how rich his co-defendant is, I’m sure jail could be avoided in these matters. They didn’t rip off the government, they ripped off other rich men, and sometimes, with the right connections, these types of offenses can be forgiven.
I consider Taylor like a Season-one-Alex McCord. Always trying to get in with the richer, more influential group. I don’t think she and Russell are that rich but have enough to live quite comfortably. Unfortunately for Taylor, that will never be enough. She will keep pushing him until he goes over the edge. A modern day Lady Macbeth.
I want those floating lighty balls in the pool! What are they? I don’t even have a pool but I want them!
I agree, Kim looks shockingly well kept in that ponytail.
@2muchbravo: but why would a shrink want to see Camille without Frasier around?
@sarcasatire: YES!!! I TOTALLY saw Mauri leering @ the hairdresser!!! I rewound it twice!! His eyes lingered a LOT too long!!!
(Warning: I’m still working my way through these comments so I might have multiple posts). I had to stop and comment on the hairdresser though. I can’t believe I forgot to before!
Oh, and I don’t believe Cedric’s story. But I’m sure the truth will come out now for sure. People love Lisa and are going to start digging to protect her.
Good – Mauri’s leer was not my imagination! Well, he is a sexy man who likes the ladies. Something tells me that he only looks (sorry, but I have a soft spot for their marriage.) I am not buying Cedric’s story and Taylor’s marital woes are exactly why you you don’t marry guys like Russell if you want romance – chasing him as she did prior to marriage did not make him feel the need to adjust and compromise (which is a part of successful relationships) and marrying to live like the Joneses carries its own burdens.
Finally, someone mentioned Mauri’s leer! I thought FlipIt would be all over it. His gaze lingered a second too long. I understand he’s married, not blind, but dude the cameras are on, can you be a little bit more subtle about it. I don’t think it means he’s a cheater but he ain’t perfect. Getting married doesnt mean you stop liking the ladies, let’s just hope you have enough willpower (and love) to not act on it. Besides, since 2010 was the “Year of the Hoe”, I am sure if Mauri was up to naughty business, some opportunistic chick would have already sold her story to the highest bidder. (I mourn for the days when mistresses knew their place!)
Dear Taylor, I’m afraid that being melancolic for the viewers to see might get you public sympathy but I think that it will only make your mariage worst. You knew what you were getting but the perks made it OK. Now you want it all and I don’t think you can change Russell, epecially the way you are going about it. Being an introverted person, being on the show is enough for him, he doesn’t want to play out a soapo opera in public. If you are serious about salvaging your relationship go seek the advice of a profesional and stop comparing to others, you don’t know their truth. If you are miserable and cannot live like this, do what you have to do but have no regrets and handle this with your daughter in mind (be respectful and civil). Good luck.
As for Camille, I did not think giving the book is funny at all but rather insulting. I tried to be objective… I don’t like her at all !!!!!!
Nnnniiiicceee! He looked right at her cleavage and said that…twice! awesome
Russell detests Taylor.
I think she presented herself as quite something different while she was “chasing” him. She has either done or said something that crossed a line with ole’ Russy and he cannot stand to be around her anymore.
I don’t buy her woe is me at all. Can’t stand that trick.
hey you guys thanks for reading and commenting. sorry i didn’t mention the mauri leer! of course i saw it!! maybe i was just hoping that it was all in my head. if he ever cheats i want it to be with me.
@sheesh!…for a second, I thought it was some tricking editing going on because his response and reaction didnt seem to match her statement. He was just too enthusiastic about her saying she was coming to the party.
Camile may be a b!tch but there is one thing all these women could learn from her…hire ugly help. It kept her married for 13yrs. How was she to know she didnt to check out the flight attendants too?! Come to think of it, where was Fraze headed when he met his new ‘jump-off’ cuz he damn sure wasnt coming home to visit Camille and the kids.
Flipit love – your recap was wonderful as always… the Mauri Leer (copyright 2011) was one of those funny WTF moments that I had to rewind to make sure I was right the first time. Like Taylor unhinging her jaw every time she eats something.
I’d like a hot (preferably, single) guy to Mauri Leer me like that..looked like he wanted to sop her up with a biscuit!
I’m reading a book call The Widow Ginger, and it’s main character is a 7 yr old girl, who lives with a couple in London, where they run a cafe and took the little girl in after her alcoholic, prostitute of a mother left her in their care. Sound familiar?
ISarcas: it certainly does – but I have yet to see Cedric pick up anything resembling a book, so maybe he heard the book’s plot somewhere.
Taylor is definitely reaping the oats she sowed chasing Russell. In the first episode, she practically admitted she married him for money first and love second. Looks like you got what you wanted Taylor, so hinged that jaw back together and shut up.
I love Kyle, Ad, and Lisa. Kim has certainly grown on me since the first episode. I HATE Camille and cannot wait to see her receive due.
“You’re up at six for a job you hate, your kids are doing drugs and masturbating constantly, you’re fat and you don’t know why, you cry in elevators and pray for an early death. Ew. Poorness is gross.” Fucking hilarious. You made capri sun fly out of my nose with that one. Your pics and captions of mother teresa and the kkk were priceless. On a serious note, I feel for Taylor, but I cannot relate to or fully sympathize with someone who enters into a marriage blindly. Who makes that life-long commitment with a partner who isn’t your best friend and biggest supporter? A fool, that’s who. Anyway, I am really dying to know what exactly is in the contracts that these women sign. I mean, exactly how much time with each other are they commiting to. No normal person would willingly put themselves into a situation repeatedly where they have to interact with someone they have no desire to be around. In the real world, Cam would only be a distant memory to Kyle. Whatever, it’s just clear that Adrienne only participates at the minimal required level, and I love her for it. Can’t wait till next week. It will surely show Kharma at it’s finest. Great recap of a boring episode.
Flipit – you are a brilliant writer. Just had to say that. Not enough appreciation out there for the recap writer. A genre of its own. A new genre. Whatever. You are brilliant.
And the funny thing is, this whole season has really been built around the drama caused by Camille thinking that other women think that she is insecure…and well, Hello? If you weren’t secure you could care less if others thought you were and well, if you weren’t insecure, well, then others wouldn’t think you were. Her standard “They’re just jealous” responses to everything are the proof…I’m 42…and man, I am way past being jealous of my female friends…I know too much about the pain that they had suffered in their lives and beauty, botox and boobies didn’t help any of it. Camille, honey, get some help.
Hello FLipit! I am long time listener, first time caller. I just wanted to say I almost died laughting at the Taylor House/Mailbox photo comment and the one about Camille taking credit for someone else’s work. I think I’ll try it too. The next time someone says something like “Traffic was clear today.”, I’ll be sure to say “Thaaaank Yoooouuu.” Great stuff!